You Are Enough – The Message of The Cross

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I realized this morning that I’m scared of happiness. I’m scared to be happy.

All my life I lived in the shadows of a broken home and unworthiness seemed to follow me wherever I went.

I started to see my worth when I understood grace, a finished work that required no work of my own but that Jesus finished the work for me.

Yet when I see a happy couple or family, my heart is doubtful.

I want to find flaws and I want to know they’ve struggled, I want to see brokenness, I want to know I’m not the only one who has struggled or is struggling.

At the same time I don’t want my pessimism to touch them, to infect their happiness.

I just heard the Lord say “you are enough, you are not lacking”.

I deserve happiness and I deserve to be loved. I deserve to have.

I am worthy. I am worthy. I am worthy.

Growing up I felt like God owed me a great deal for the way I grew up. I was always fighting to survive. There was always a conflict, a struggle, a battle and I often felt restless.

I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, unable to feel like myself in this world.

Just receive, sometimes it’s easier to give than to receive. Because to receive you must believe you are worthy of it. 

But when you feel unworthy, you’ll refuse the help.

Sometimes we’re afraid to give because we’re afraid we will lack or not have enough.

Both comes from a fear of lack.

But in Christ we are whole and not lacking and only in loving can we understand grace, that it is all sufficient and not lacking.

Your worth isn’t in how you grew up, what situation or circumstance you are in now. Your worth is in being a child of God, knowing Jesus died for you to make you whole.

They don’t have more than you do- the ones you think have more financially, relationally, etc.

You have everything you need to do what you need to do.

My friend told me she felt depressed as she is unmarried, broke and traveling but the truth is she has everything that she needs- Jesus.

Even though I’m living in a beautiful house, I am a beautiful house.

I am the beautiful car, I am the delicious food, I am a happily married couple.

I am everything that I could ever want.

That is wholeness…realizing you are enough and you are not lacking.

You might be divorced, without income, childless, unmarried, but you are not less than those with a happy family.

God died for you in whatever circumstance you’re in and he made you pure as snow, whole, not lacking. 

He filled every imperfection, discrepancy, every hole, every feeling of lack and said you are complete.

You are not complete when you have more, you are not complete when your bills are paid, you are not complete when you get married, you are not complete when your kids are grown, you are not complete when you’re disease free- you are complete and whole NOW because of the BLOOD OF JESUS.

The danger in accruing blessings is that we start to think our worth is based on what we have when the truth is our worth comes from the finished work of Jesus.

You are blessed when your parents disapprove or approve of you.

You are blessed when you are in need or not in need.

You are blessed with or without a husband/wife.

You are blessed whether you are in the greatest or worst shape of your life.

You are blessed whether you have debt or not.

You are blessed because of the blood of Jesus. In the Spirit al is finished. That is our true identity as Kings and Queens.

We need to see people for who they really are. We call and prophesy people into who they really are- not by taking pity.

Even if you never preach like TD Jakes- you are whole and enough.

Even if your ministry never becomes as big as Hillsong, you are enough.

Even if no one knows or recognizes you for your service to God and people,  you are enough.

Even if you don’t write a book, you are enough.

Even if you are a backstage person and the lime light never shines on you, you are enough.

Even if no church affirms or approves of what God put on the inside of you, you are enough.

God will use the unexpected people to show His power because it’s not by might or flesh, but by the power of the Spirit. So if you are young or old, you feel like a failure, you feel like your life has fallen apart and you feel ashamed of your past- know that God’s power is most mighty in the ones who have no power of their own, no ability of their own. We have to get back to being a child of God, being unable on our own, being fully reliant on Jesus our savior. 

Thank you for those who have been ministry partners and have been sending me out in obedience to the Lord. I pray the Lord protect and bless you. 

Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

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Open Your Heart To Feel

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A rice paddy in Bali, Indonesia

Women are scared to reject men because they don’t want to be the cause of someone’s pain. To be the cause of someone’s pain makes you feel that you are not enough and you can’t possibly make everyone happy.

But essentially you are not God.

I meet lots of men and women that tire themselves out trying to be everything to everyone and I have tired myself out like that before.

You are not responsible for how others feel about themselves. 

Most people will not understand why you do what you do.

You will upset and hurt people for living your truth, they will not be able to understand why you chose to leave home or chose to be far away from them.

You cannot change yourself to make others feel better about themselves or to appease them to fill and cover insecurities they feel about themselves.

You can only live your truth.

You can only live out your truth.

And when we don’t, when we pretend to be something we are not- our hearts suffer from it.

We can’t love without risking it and we can’t love without experiencing pain.

What I mean is- you are no responsible for protecting peoples’ hearts, God is. He is also responsible for protecting your heart. 

We can’t live our lives being afraid of offending others, call it “politically correct” or socially acceptable. Jesus was offensive. He loved those who didn’t deserve love in society’s perspective.

The disciples wanted him to be around all the time but he disappeared to have alone time. 

You can’t right all wrongs. 

You can’t explain yourself to everyone, and you don’t need to.

The ones who usually need explanation are not those who want your help and want to understand- they just want to instigate and make you feel less than….

Their own insecurities causes them to question your confidence. 

Perhaps if they make you question yourself they’ll succeed in derailing you from your truth and insecure people love to have company.

I am not saying I am always confident but I’ve learned to follow the voice and heartbeat of God, I’ve also learned to listen to my heart and to trust my heart.

And to seek that quiet voice instead of all the noises that seek to distract me, and they do come, often.

The naysayers say “but over confidence in yourself is wrong” when in truth they are petrified to follow their heart because they are afraid of failure, humiliation, rejection, judgement and most of all- PAIN.

Because some people will avoid pain at all costs.

Pain, disappointment conveys to them “you’re not enough”, you’re a loser and not a winner.

But pain is part of life.

Pain is your heart aching for heaven on earth.

Paradise, never ending love.

It’s an echo, a cry for help “there must be more” says your heart.

There must be a love that is eternal, a love that never fails you nor forsakes you, a love that doesn’t cheat on you nor betrays you.

And that love came to earth to bear all our pain and imperfection- Jesus.

That’s why it says “cast all your cares on the Lord for he cares for you”.

And there is no such thing as failure because God desires honest more than feigned enthusiasm. He is a God that is more than able to handle our fragile hearts.

Sometimes things we don’t expect comes out of our mouths because we’ve suppressed our truth for too long, pretending to be a version of self that is acceptable to others, whether that is our friends or family.

People (strangers) confess things to me they’ll never tell their friends or family because the shame is too much to bear.

People will tell me about relationships they had with married man/woman, abuse, deep longings, relationship fails, parents, self-abuse, attempts at suicide, sleeping with prostitutes, etc….the shame is heavy to bear and so they unload to me.

And for some reason, I feel no need to judge as I am myself imperfect.

But that is love, a total embrace that is unconditional.

I’m currently in Bali and the air is inspiring me in all kinds of ways. I’m overcoming my fear of the scooter as 3 years ago I got into a moped accident. I’ve learned to let go a little and just have fun in the midst of ministering and praying for people.

Yesterday I was praying for a girl in the middle of the lake.

Now I think about it I could have baptized someone, that would have been cool. But I’ve learned to just take a chance, to not forebode what could happen, but simply trust myself and God.

The woman who I’ve become friends with at the local eatery said “thank you! I slept well last night after you prayed for me. I’ve taken your advice to get more rest”.

The prophetic word- I saw a shirt the other day – it said “think less, live more”.

There are times I’m petrified and anxious, God how are you going to do it? How will you provide? And then He comes in when I least expect it.

I’ve told many people my testimony at the hostel I’m staying at- people are SERIOUSLY bewildered when I tell them that I haven’t had a phone for weeks and that God always provides what I need, even if it’s a stranger helping me with a ride or carpooling with me. 

God always sends angels to help me. 

And with this I realize that I’m living in complete trust in the Lord. That He literally is taking care of me as a Father would.

I usually would have some fear going into a new country but I knew that I would carpool with someone. I asked 5-6 people if they were going to Ubud and I ended up in a car with an Australian couple. It was a divine assignment. During the 1 hour and a half I prayed and prophesied over them as I heard their stories.

Everyone has a story and sometimes it’s cruel, sometimes it’s painful. 

But God is making all things new.

He is healing every wound and every bad memory and He is restoring unto you all that you have lost.

A girl I prayed for at an ice cream shop

God does not want slaves to listen to orders, He wants friends that will partner with Him in restoring the earth and the hearts of people.

Sow into the kingdom-

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Prophetic Word – Show Yourself, Show Who You Really Are.

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So yesterday I had a dream where people started writing about me and texting me. I was becoming famous but I was in deep water and asking someone if it was okay that I was wearing leather boots, will they be comfortable or ruined in water?

Then another dream was that there were 3 animals but this guy said “it’s mine and it’s my grandma’s and I have to keep it in my garage”- referring to the past.

SO then I was telling my friend this dream and she said “just remember to relax in your own skin”.

Then I fell asleep again and then all of a sudden I had this HUGE realization.

Yesterday I met a Muslim girl from Indonesia in the bathroom. I told her how it was REALLY IMPORTANT THAT she WRITE what she FELT, not just WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR because HER STORY MATTERS AND HER VOICE MATTERS. 

SHE CAN CHANGE HER NATION WITH HER WORDS.

She told me how in her country you can get imprisoned for simply joking about “having a bomb on an airplane” but I was talking about how in America you can say you want to chop off the President’s head and it’s okay because “yes it’s really that free” I told her.

She told me how when she is with relatives she is even shy about showing her neck area since she wears a head covering.

In the bathroom, she said “it’s okay, you can see me” and she took off her head covering. 

Her hair was beautiful, she had dyed it partially blonde and for some reason, I felt a sigh a relief. 

Is this how it feels to show your skin? To finally allow others to see the real you? 

To not hide anymore, who you are, what you look like, what you think. To not be afraid of judgement, rejection, imprisonment even.

The truth is I’ve been battling insecurities at times too. For example, feeling like I have a double chin, this is my insecurity at times. And I have to come back to God and hear Him say “you are enough, you are beautiful just the way you are”. 

We live in a world that tells us WHO to be, What to think, and even WHAT to say to be accepted. We get hunted down when we don’t say something that is either politically correct or that “offends” someone.

You will offend someone no matter what you say and who you are. Someone will find you offensive. People find me offensive in various parts of Asia because I am blunt. 

But as a prophet, I have to brave and bold and say what’s on my mind because God’s light and truth must be spoken to pierce the darkness and lies that people believe in.

Show yourself, show who you really are. 

That night I got really frustrated.

I said “God I am so ready to just speak in front of thousands of people and be a voice for the voiceless and to FREE people from oppression, I am SO TIRED of seeing people living under oppression and this FEAR of rejection and judgement. NO MORE SHAME LORD!”

Ever since I was young I saw myself speaking in front of thousands and millions of people, I saw myself writing books and shedding light into the darkest hearts. Now I am doing it but on smaller scale and a part of me feels impatient but I know God’s timing is perfect.

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I pray what I write and speak will bring freedom to people. 

You are not a slave to society and what society thinks of you, you are free. In Christ Jesus.

To Read About My Story 

To Sow A Seed to This Ministry and What I am doing around the world, bringing Jesus’ love to people

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Let Me Reintroduce Myself

Let my reintroduce myself. I felt the Lord tell me to write my story and to share it with everyone as my ministry fundraising letter.

Many of you may know me as the entrepreneur, the self-starter, the girl who was able to make anything happen. But what you don’t know is that when I was young I wanted to be a missionary. When I was 12, I felt the unconditional love of God when someone explained why Jesus died on the cross for me, I couldn’t stop crying. 

Back then I didn’t know what God was going to do in my life. I was born in Germany, moved to Taiwan when I was 5, then LA when I was 8. Growing up I felt a sense of lack and deficiency. I didn’t see my dad from the age of 8 to 18. My parents divorced and my mother brought me and my brother to America. I started selling toys after school at the age of 8. I wanted to share God’s love but I also felt a sense of responsibility to provide for my family. I wanted to become independent more than anything in the world.

So I worked my whole life. I strove hard. I aced tests, got good grades, I achieved and conquered and I was applauded for it. However, I was often exhausted and had unhealthy breaking points. Even at church, I felt like I was never doing enough. I got shingles at the age of 14 and the doctor said I needed to relax.

While I was trying to build my own kingdom and asking God to bless it, so that I could help others….I woke up from a dream while in a hostel in Spain. The Lord told me to quit my career in real estate.

You see, I had pursued many careers but the one thing that I was running away from was ministry. At the age of 28 the Lord told me to sell everything and follow Him. I was two months late on my rent and my relatives had accused me of being irresponsible, they saw my life as a fragmented failure. I had quit my job in 2011, backpacked to many places but without much “success” to show. I had worked in hollywood, real estate, fashion, teaching, coaching but there I was at the altar crying as God asked me to give my last $200 (intended for rent) to the church. He said “whose house are you building, yours or mine?”

I stopped working as the Lord instructed and He started showing me my identity in Christ. He showed me that I was righteous in Christ Jesus because of HIS finished work on the cross, and not my own works. During those two years of resting I was accused left and right for “being lazy” or not having my life together. I got hit with the most accusations when I turned 30. 

Little did people and my family know that I was going to set billions of people free from condemnation, guilt, shame, accusation. 

He showed me what TRUE grace is. It’s the finished work of Jesus on the cross.

In the last two years God showed me that I was a pastor to the lost sheep and a prophet that would start a fire within peoples’ hearts. Since July 2018, I have been traveling the world (Taiwan, Korea, Japan, South Africa, Thailand, China) sharing my story and praying for people. God leads me to the people He needs me to touch.

I AM a firestarter, I am revivalist, I am the person God picked to spread the message of rest, grace and unconditional love.

I lay hands on people and say “you are enough in God’s eyes, not because of what you do right or wrong, but because of Jesus’ finished work on the cross”. 

There is NOTHING more powerful than seeing people get set free from a lifetime of guilt, “not enough”, shame and condemnation. There is nothing more powerful than sharing with a chinese girl who is stressed out about finding work that GOD has already gone before her to provide the job she needs or to rest in God, there is nothing more powerful than helping a homeless youth and laying hands on his head speaking “you are not an orphan but a child of God” and seeing his eyes light up. 

However, I need your help. Just as Elijah was instructed to ask the widow for a meal, so that when the widow gave she could be set free from the spirit of lack (and because of her trust that God would provide, she never lacked from that day forth…she had more than enough to eat because she gave), I have been instructed to share my story with you and ask for your help.

I touch lives everyday for a living. Would you be part of this revolution of love? The world needs more love. There is an ongoing need as I will be traveling for at least a year more. Where the Spirit leads, there will be graves turned, hearts healed, people saved and changed. I have prayed for people with cancer, heartache, lack, disease, disappointments, strife, and more. I already have countless stories, hundreds of divine encounters and appointments, people coming to Christ etc.

I pray THIS over you! “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

To sow a seed: 
https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien 
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien – this is free to donate and receive, so it’s the better option!

zelle- Rebekkalien@gmail.com

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Don’t Stay Stuck

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Prophetic Word November 23, 2018
One of the tactic of the enemy is to make you think you’ve found your nest with people you think you belong with. But you know their true character.

They are not your destiny.

Your belonging is in Christ, not in people.
The enemy will send people to make you feel comfortable or familiar and because you’ve felt “alone” for so long you will think “maybe this is where I belong”, but

ARE they pushing you to GROW or allowing you to be STUCK in mud?

True friends will pull you out of the mud and not allow you to stay in it or even allow you to drown in mud.

Beward of wolves in sheep skin, they might even be your family members or friends.
A true prophet will not say what you want to hear but tell you the truth. A desire to fit in and be accepted by those around you will be detrimental to your growth.
You belong to God.
You are already accepted and approved by God.
Your only way is forward.

Beware of those who want to entertain you with mud (the past) because God wants you to move forward.
You must push through the familiar voices, they are distractions from your destiny and true freedom.

Beware of those who just say what you want to hear or give advice that allow you to stay stuck.
Not everyone will make it out. Some will stay in the mud.

You don’t dim your light to accommodate peoples’ darkness, you shine your light- even brighter to bring change to darkness.

 

Just because it feels comfortable doesn’t mean it’s a path from God. Sometimes the more you find your freedom the more you should face and confront difficult conversations and blockages. 

Because your path to FREEDOM comes with battles.

 

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Why I Left Everything To Follow Jesus

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Where do I even begin?

When I was young, I wanted to be a missionary but I didn’t want to live in a hut.

Slowly I started to believe a lie that I had to be successful in the world to be influential (or a light). I started pursuing my “dreams” and “goals” to be this successful and independent career woman. I was going to write books and speak around the world. I believe I am still going to do those things…however, my motive wasn’t right.

My motive wasn’t right because I didn’t believe that I was enough. 

I grew up with a single mom, didn’t see my dad for 10 years and grew up with a cloud of abandonment and rejection over my head.

God started to heal me. This road was long and strenuous.

I basically ran my own road thinking it was God’s. I ran myself dry. I was in a drought. I was still following God, but I wanted to do it my way.

The truth is I was running away. I was in pain, but I couldn’t face the pain of healing.

I went from running my own business to backpacking in Europe for 2 months, on my last leg of the journey I woke up from a dream where the Lord specifically told me to quit my career. When I went back all the finances dried up and the Lord told me to sell everything and follow Him. I was late on rent and my family was accusing me of living an irresponsible life.

So there I was laying at my friend’s house. God said “at 3pm you will know where to move”. Well, my mom had already offered up her place. The idea of living in a studio with my mother (who I have clashing personalities) did not seem like such a good idea.

But that’s exactly where God wanted me to be. And I surrendered. 

He wanted me to go through the grueling healing process of reconciling with my mother. I proceeded to spend 2 years living with her. During this time God also told me that I was a pastor to the lost sheep and that I was not to pursue any work opportunities. 

Imagine, you are almost 30 and the Lord tells you to rest.

All of society would be criticizing you, wouldn’t they?

Well, I went through the test of accusations left and right, until the point I knew who I was.

“I am a daughter of God and I am righteous in His eyes, I am approved by Him and not by men or women. I stand firm in this identity, Jesus paid the price for me”. 

After 2 years, the Lord said “it’s time to go”.

I packed my bags and went. I thought I would stay in Taiwan for a year, but the Lord actually wanted me to gather the lost sheep in different corners of the world. I went from no energy to praying for strangers on the street everyday. I went from timid to bold. I went from fearing to being fearless.

I went from needing recognition to simply being unknown. 

I wanted the spotlight but then I found identity in being loved by God. God led me through different industries like acting and real estate to show me that my worth couldn’t be found in any of that. 

Now, I spend days pursuing lost sheep. I ask to pray for people who laugh at me and reject me. I pursue sheep that avoid me because they know I will speak the truth to them. I climb mountains and dive deep to find the ones who have been wounded by religion or the church, I find those that are not believers in Jesus and I tell them Jesus loves them.

There are days I can’t stand the persecution, the pain, the rejection, the weariness, the attacks of the enemy and I’ll just cry to Jesus.

But I do it because Jesus changed me, He healed my heart of brokenness and He loves me.

Sow A Seed- Thank You!

God Wants To Meet You In The Unknown

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I’ve been battling a cold recently.

I had a dream last night where I couldn’t figure out what train to get on, whether to Azusa or Disneyland. I took the train the wrong way, I got off, then took the train the right way, and then got off to take another train. Then I just decided to go use the restroom which was in between both trains. A door opened up for me to go number one.

In another dream, I was trying to choose the right cup to drink water from because I was parched. But I didn’t like any of the cups. Some were too big and some were dirty. Then I was lying on the beach and I had no sunscreen on and my eye was parched.

When I woke up I felt like God wanted to meet me in the unknown.

The waiting and transition season often feels like a drag. It feels uncertain, unstable…you often can’t answer peoples’ questions like “what have you been up to?”

Your reply might be “just resting”.

But it’s not just resting, it’s meeting God in the unknown. 

The transition period often calls for us to be still and know that God is God. 

He wants to remind us of His character – that He is good, that He loves us, that He knows what He is doing, that He sometimes puts us in a season of rest so that we understand His character.

And that is why Resting is so hard for people of this world. RESTING means letting go and trusting that everything will work out. 

That is why most people cannot rest if they have dire circumstances in life, but we know that Jesus is working on our behalf (we live from a place of victory) and so even in dire circumstances our hearts can rest in a God who knows what HE is doing, who is trust worthy and who never LEAVES nor forsakes us. 

So it’s not really just about God answering your prayers or delivering a miracle….it’s manifesting all those things HE wants to give us from a place of knowing how much He loves us and cares for us. He wants us to live out of our God given identities.

He wants to bless us as fathers bless their children, from a pure heart of love.

Whenever I try to figure out or ask God “what should I do?” I now know that I want to DO without knowing who He is or who I am.

When we are trying to figure out what’s next, it is often because “in the waiting” we have become impatient and doubt creeps in. This doubt asks us “does God knows what He is doing? Is He a good God? Should I try to handle this situation now since it doesn’t seem like God is doing anything?”

In the transition period, God desires for us to KNOW His character and heart in a deeper and stronger way.  He wants us to know WHO He really is in every circumstance. He wants us to mature in our understanding of our position in Christ.

So many people want to have His material blessings without becoming people who walk with Him as friends. The true blessing is becoming a people who carry His presence and become blessings on this earth because of their intimacy with Jesus. 

God desires for us to KNOW who we are– people with spiritual inheritance and authority. A people who have a Father who loves them.

God desires for us to KNOW who HE is– A God who loves us unconditionally and HAS PLANS to prosper us and not to harm us.

The unknown season forces us to get to know WHO we are in Christ and WHO He is for US.

So don’t feel burdened or rushed to get to the next season, there are treasures of intimacy in the unknown and waiting season. Feed your soul and spirit with the love of God. Indulge in the love God has for you. Rest in knowing that His grace is enough for you.

“I need you to understand who you are and who I am for you before I open the doors to the next season. Not knowing who you are could cause you to open doors to people and opportunities that will hurt you more than help you. I need you to walk in the Christ given authority you were meant to walk in, you inheritance causes you to walk in true spiritual power”- says the Lord.