Nearing my birthday is always an emotional time.
My face is a resemblance of my dad’s face and well, my dad was cheating on my mom while I was in her womb. So when I came out my dad accused my mom and told her I was not his.
I don’t know why my mom had to tell me that, to spite me? To make me feel sorry for her?
Meanwhile when I went to get inner healing prayer, I saw myself angry in her stomach. I wanted to get out, just like I want to get out of her house already. But God hasn’t given me the okay to.
I felt like a burden growing up, I saw her stressed out as a single mom, so I started working when I was 8.
I never asked for allowance. I was self-sufficient. Yet, I felt like a burden and an orphan. I see this so much in kids these days. They feel like a burden and they are afraid to ask for help as a grown adult.
Because the truth is there are some really messed up parents that refuse to help their kids, maybe they are scared to spoil them or enable them, but there is definitely a huge spirit of lack and a lack of grace in our world these days. Sure, some kids really need a kick in the butt, but what I see is a lot of “orphan minded people”.
These people are afraid to “bother people”, think their problems will cause others to be stressed out so they don’t tell anyone their problems, they are afraid to be vulnerable, they are afraid to ask for help.
God had to move me back home to cast out the stronghold of unworthiness, feeling like a burden out of me. He put my in ministry and told me to fundraise, because that asking and not being afraid to be rejected is part of casting out the stronghold of “feeling like a burden, the orphan spirit”.
Sure, there are strongholds. We can avoid them or we can face them. There is a stronghold of lack in my mom too, a feeling of unworthiness because of my father’s betrayal.
At the time she was pregnant, my dad’s parents kept trying to make her bow down to Buddhist idols knowing she was Christian. How much warfare was happening because of my birth, to stop me from being birthed?
If you had a lot of trouble around the time of your birth, know that the enemy was trying hard to stop you from being birthed. You HAVE A GREAT PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
So as my birthday is nearing again, I feel the warfare, but the truth is- I am a gift, not a burden. Yesterday I had a dream that someone brought a jumpy house and asked if I wanted it outside my house or next to a pool. It was my birthday party.
Give a gift to this ministry or for my birthday, thank you! God bless you.
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