You Are Safe

96691033_10163602583680603_4809437904851959808_n.jpg“You lied to me. Friends don’t lie”.

I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. The emotions were raw. I could feel like my eyes were bulging out of my chest and my heart was about to explode. Eventually tears came and it felt good to feel. 

Sometimes we just go about our day, never revealing to people how we feel. We control every factor. We plan our day, our drive, our GPS to life. We never allow God to flow through us.

How about now? When’s the last time you felt completely broken in front of God. 

I really feel this today. Even though I am close to God, perhaps I’ve closed my heart to God. So many disappointments, so many closed doors. We can become disheartened and no longer feel. What is the point of feeling this emotion, it’s hopeless. We become depressed because we don’t expect anything good anymore. 

God has been putting me through reality show quality drama. 

I mean I am talking about not being in control ever. Not only are there divine appointments wherever I go….there are a lot of unknown factors.

Okay, throw a guy into the mix, then some lies, betrayal. Okay, throw the fact that someone just told me he saw a dead woman lying on the street due to a car accident. This friend told me that he felt really weird today.

Oh you mean maybe you need to cry?

Feeling gross, yucky, weird…….indicates that you may need a good cry. But the lies have to come out first. So you either talk to God, or most likely God wants you to talk to people about it. 

It can be simple….

Like “why did you lie to me?”

“I felt unwanted when you did this______”

“You hurt me, I feel deceived”

Not everyone is open to that discussion. I can feel my heart more than I’ve ever felt. It’s scary.

But YOU ARE ENOUGH.

No wonder what you’ve been through- you are enough. You are not lacking. Feel your emotions, sit in the safety of my arms. I’m here.

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Prophetic Word- Heart Breakthrough

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Why do we love who we love?

Why do we feel used?

Why do we love those who cannot love us back and why don’t we love those who can?

Why do we fear intimacy and why does love hurt?

Why do we hide and think that is love and care?

Why do we fear vulnerability?

God- I am here for you. If you will have me. If you come to me and drink of this never ending fountain. I am here for you, I will never leave nor forsake you.

Me- People scare me. They are one way one moment, the next they are monsters. They are unpredictable. They are scare me.

God- Don’t be afraid to love for out of love comes life.

Me- I feel that I will never find love that I deserve, for I’ve chased the type of love that is sick and twisted, the type of love that I have to fight for, that isn’t freely given.

God- you will find it, for you are love, you have found me. You have found love, you are love, as I am within you.

Me- I am love.

God- I have loved you from the beginning of time. If you are love there is no lack of love and there is an unceasing fountain of love, ready at all times. You are love, you are enough.

Me- How can I continue to love when I feel depleted?

God- Give yourself a break, it’s okay. Give yourself a break. It’s enough. From the beginning of time, I have been enough and I will always overflow in love. You were created to love and without love there is no meaning.

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Unsure But Faithful

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“Okay God, if you want me to go then give me more confirmation”

I fall asleep and I have dreams with clear directions about how to get there.

When I follow God’s voice, sometimes I’m unsure. Maybe it’s the fear that sets in or uncertainty. Yesterday I went to the beach but midway I felt my heart go “go home”. I felt fear. What am I supposed to expect. It’s late, why is the bus taking so long?

But I get on the train, the Lord tells me “the middle train” and I sit right near this Cambodian ex-gang member that I met on the bus one night. He was also Christian. I couldn’t believe it. He said he moved to San Pedro. And here we met again in a train at Union Station.

I can trust what I am hearing, but at times Satan tries to lie to me and tell me I’m all alone.

I had a dream that I found my blue gym bag and it said “just do it”. Yesterday I saw a woman wearing “just do it” leggings. 

When the Lord tells us to go He is asking us to have faith and trust He is our provider, our GPS at all times, and that He will keep us safe. He will also send people our way at all times. 

Just when I think I’m alone, God always sends a divine appointment and I realize that “Yes I am on the right path”. Doubt creeps in pretty easily, especially if someone is following you on the train, and you don’t feel safe at times. That happened one day.

Yesterday I took the train from Pasadena to Downtown and I heard “move” when I sat in the first car. I heard “middle car” so I moved to the middle car and immediately there was a man who started talking to me.

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I am pretty sensitive to God’s voice but there are times I want to sulk or stay in my flesh.

This morning the Lord said –

“What are you doing?”

“Laying here”

“It’s time to go”

“Can you pick someone else?”

“I will take you places you can’t even imagine, all you have to do is be my mouthpiece”

“Sometimes I just want to be normal and not have people persecuting me”

But I know the truth is, I would be really bored if I lived a normal life. 

I’m not sure if I like seeing people manifest all the time, I’m not sure if I like fear trying to attack me when I’m following God everyday, I’m not sure if I want my heart to be open at all times (which is what ministering to people is…I’m constantly feeling emotions, crying for people, caring), I’m not sure if I liked being stretched everyday, I’m not sure if I want to trust God all the time….

But whenever I do trust God, the outcome is always good. That’s why I don’t like not listening. I have always seen God pull through, set me free from a limiting mindset, bless me, or open my heart. He has sent me to thousands of people all around the world. I am so rich with love. 

I’m not sure if I want to feel though, to feel the immense well of pain, love, laughter, emotions that comes with loving. And I meet people on a daily basis.

Yesterday I missed my stop but I got off and heard “hollywood”. A guy told me he was gorgeous and I asked what his tattoos meant. He said “it’s a bible verse”. I said I do ministry and God led me to him.

He said “I’m backslidden though”. We got on the bus and got off at Ralphs. He said he was just selling marajuana and other things….I said “meth?” “Yes” “See I’m a prophet, I know”.

Strangely, he also got his phone stolen.

A lot of issues and addictions come from feeling unloved and unwanted by our parents and God sends me to show people “hey, go home, hey you are wanted, hey it’s okay to reach out for help, hey you’re worthy of love, you’re a success, God is proud of you, there is no shame”.

God is stretching me, my understanding of love.

People I never thought I had the capacity to love, I’m learning to love. The drug addicts, the prostitutes, the pimps even, the gangsters, the cheats, the liars, the homeless because we are all fallen, we were all with sin but Jesus died on the cross for our sins, so no one is better.

I have a fear of being cold. Sometimes I wear what the Lord tells me to. Yesterday He told me to wear shorts so I did. It was really short so I caught people staring at me and felt unsafe. When I got to the beach I heard “change” so I changed into my dress. When I came out I saw this beautiful woman. I said hi to her. She came to me “do you have pants?”

“I said, actually I do! God told me to wear shorts” so I took off my shorts from underneath my dress and gave it to her. She was so happy. I asked if she was homeless and she said “yes”. I said “do you have a bra?” She said “no it’s okay”. I took off my sports bra because my dress didn’t really require a bra. She put it on right away and tried to give me back her shirt and I said “no you’re cold, you need it”. She tried to leave it but she came back for it.

Then I gave her $5 (grace) and she said here “have $2 (double portion)”.

She kept saying “thank you”. And I felt this warmth. I started sweating and felt really hot. I realize it was God saying “don’t worry about being cold”. That night someone called a lyft for me after spending time with them, so I didn’t even need my sweater. I wish I obeyed and just gave my sweater to her.

God’s ways really isn’t our ways and when we trust God completely we will see that He always provides what we need.

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Prophetic Word For Pioneers & Prayer For Healing

This is an intensive inner healing video to heal your heart. I pray it may heal your heart of all soul wounds.

You have a CROWN, you have a crown!

You stood by me says the Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

It hurts, I know it hurts. I’m bringing revival and birthing through you. Be honest with me. 

I am bringing you up, bring it all, bring it all. 

You are birthing.

Pick up your heart, pick it up, express it all. Sing. Sing. Sing. Let it all out. So much. So much. Pick up the arrows and the swords, pick out, pick out the arrows that have been shot. Some of you have so many arrows in your heart. God is picking them out one by one, but don’t numb it, don’t numb it.

God is healing you now.

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Don’t Play It Safe. In Order to Break Off Condemnation and Fear, You Have To Continue To Put Yourself Out There

Your heart is a muscle that needs to be exercised.

I woke up feeling tense and scared of people, I felt condemned and had to make a prayer video. You are righteous because of His sacrifice.

And then I had to take risks ALL DAY! 

I was out from 11am to 10pm.

There were times I was like “no”, but most of the time I said “yes”.

What does it look like to say yes to God. 

To do things that scare you. 

I prophesied over strangers and told people about what I do. I asked for donations, I asked for rides from strangers. They all turned out to be lost sheep, divine appointments.

I was sitting at a bus stop and God told me to ask for a ride.

I asked a few guys, and all of them said no. They looked hesitant, didn’t want to take a risk of picking up a stranger. I didn’t say I was a prophet, I just did it.

I was getting discouraged and then suddenly a man I asked before came back. He had dropped off his work truck and came back. He had a picture of his daughter. He was Catholic, yes, of course. This man will be blessed for saying yes. We talked for awhile and a part of me just wanted to go home.

“God isn’t this enough?” I looked out the window and most of the shops were closed except for a few boba shops. It was enough to get me out the door. I thanked him and blessed him.

It wasn’t about me doing more, it was me learning to put my heart out there, no matter the risk or the consequences. Because yesterday I took a risk and asked a neighbor I just met to take me home and his stepmom kept calling him. I felt this fear rise up in my heart, I felt responsible for him getting in trouble. But God said “no you didn’t do anything wrong”. I take risks everyday, talking to strangers is not always easy. Praying for the demonically oppressed guy was not easy too, it freaked me out a little, but love is big, love never fails.

It’s about God opening your heart, and not letting SATAN have a foothold in your heart, not having a stronghold of fear in your heart (which builds as you allow yourself to submit to it).

It’s not about being right, but living in freedom and knowing no matter how people respond, you are a child of God and worthy of God’s love. You are a child of God, you are not afraid of living in freedom. This means you freely put yourself out there, you’re not afraid of the risk of rejection or judgement. 

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One of the only restaurants opened in Pasadena. I got to prophesy to her.

At the end of the day, I felt led to go to Popeyes and the guy gave me a free drink. I yelled “I love you”.

So yes, love requires lots of risk and it may look different for everyone but what I’ve learned is, God’s goal is to set you free to live in freedom, He wants you to be free of any fear that may hinder you from experiencing love.

Yes, maybe there were very little people on the buses and on the streets but God still led me to my divine appointments. My life is so much richer because of God.

I meet men who say they are afraid to put themselves out there to date again because of past hurts, I meet women who say the same. But so what, you have to just keep putting yourself out there, when it is the right time, the right person will come.

Sow a seed to this ministry. You will surely be rewarded! God bless you!

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Holy Spirit Confronts ALL Strongholds of Fear

Oh wow, okay. Where do I begin.

This morning I heard go to Downtown, but a part of me was like “should I go buy groceries and go home?” But I was like no just go. “I have not given you a spirit of fear”.

I met some people in the stores and then met a driver who was Catholic. He told me he had a bad marriage and his experience reminded me of my ex. I started to feel weird, it reminded me of what I subjected myself to.

When I got back to Alhambra I heard go to Pasadena. Fine, God. I jumped on the 260 bus.

It was already late…but suddenly there was a homeless man yelling in the bus. I heard “give him $1”. I asked what his name was and where his parents were. He said his name was William and his parents passed away 30 plus years ago. He was 40.

I said “you’re supposed to be an actor”.

“Oh yah, am I going to be on stage?”

I mean, his hands were dirty, he was yelling and cursing. I mean the more I prayed the more he manifested. Then I heard “unforgiveness” and said he needed to forgive those who hurt him.

I felt this warmth go up my lungs and started crying. I never felt such warmth, so visible, so strong. I could feel my flesh want to shrink but my spirit urging me. Pray for him, God said. I mean I am in a bus with other people.

I’m singing “Jesus loves you”.

When I got off the bus, I had to sanitize my hands so I went into a boba shop and told the cashier what I was doing. She told me she was also Christian. We talked a bit and then I went towards home.

I heard mcdonalds, so I went, even though I could have gotten Sprite somewhere else. The Sprite tasted too fruity. I got a refund, but I met a lost sheep. Someone who grew up Catholic. We talked for a bit.

I left, went to get real Sprite.

Now, I start hearing “ask for a ride”. So I’m looking around, where.

I suddenly see this young man playing with a drone. I ask if he is catholic and he says he grew up Christian but does believe in God. We walk, but then I ask for a ride. He drives me…That’s when his stepmom starts calling incessantly.

I told him to not go to the army, that he was called to be an actor. But that God is breaking off people pleasing. I see a vision of him with a dog collar and his stepmom with a leash.

Wow, God. I tell him how when I start to disciple and train people, they are often called to displease their parents to follow Jesus. And sure, it is hard. But they can’t bow down to any men (including their parents), they must stay firm when God beckons. 

Backbone. Or whoever, whoever God calls them to speak up to. 

There are systems, structures, demonic strongholds in place all over the world and these deliverers will stand up to the strongholds and knock down the bondages. 

I think back a year ago I would have been more conscious of people watching me when I pray for people on the bus, but now I’m not scared anymore.

I may have been scared of the demons oppressing a homeless person, but now I know no power is greater than the blood of Jesus.

Before I met the 20 year old, I felt pain in my stomach and had to cast out a spirit of infirmity that was trying to attack me. But suddenly as fast as it came, it went away. Praise God!

Sow a seed to this ministry. You will surely be rewarded! God bless you!

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Saving Myself For Marriage

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Hi folks,

In the last few months God has continued to heal my heart of male/father issues. He has brought me a lot of men to minister to. Young men who have been molested, and because of that, became very sexual growing up. I always share how I am waiting until marriage to have sex. I am very open about it now. I didn’t use to be. Some woman called me “different” and didn’t want to carpool with me from Vegas to LA on a tradeshow I worked at while I was doing fashion. She didn’t tell me directly, she avoided me and told other people. 

I was outcasted because of my choice to wait. 

I am praying for Madison of The Bachelor. She is one woman who has openly said to Peter that she will not marry him if he chooses to sleep with the other woman on the show. Peter also grew up Christian but does not have the same convictions.

I have told countless men who have tried to be with me, that because they don’t have the same conviction or commitment to God, I do not want to be with them.

There is only one man for me.

I will not compromise. 

Because I am worth it. 

I dabbled in promiscuity before, though still abstaining from intercourse. At that time I was broken and hurt, I was trying to get attention from man, I was heart broken over my ex. I didn’t know how to communicate or have real relationships. I understood lust, I understood the feeling of being touched by a man. But I didn’t understand true love. 

Now I understand the love of God and my worth, I can sense the spirit of seduction.

There has been a spirit of lust trying to pull me down my whole life. I am pretty sure my dad had a porn addiction because he never expressed himself emotionally and after my parents’ divorce. I found a sheet of paper with nude photos of women when I was in Taiwan. I burned it and started praying. But that impure spirit still haunted me. So men kept trying to hit on me (you know the creepy vibe? that’s a spirit of lust), old men kept trying to follow me.

It’s like they could sense I was a virgin.

God has given me victory.  I’ve learned the power of no when it comes to physical boundaries. Because I deserve the best. I will not compromise.

I share with young men who have been cheated on, men who are Christians and Catholics about my decision to wait. I want to share with men that it is okay to wait, that they don’t have to give into societal pressures to sleep around. 

Love is MUCH more than physical touch, it is emotional understanding, patience, gentleness, forgiveness. 

Satan wants to destroy your sense of worth through sex.

Of course if you’ve already had sex you are still righteous in God’s eyes because of Jesus’ sacrifice.

But Satan has been wanting to destroy how you feel about yourself since the fall. If you are spirit filled, you will notice how you feel after you have physical interactions with a guy/girl (like a one night stand, etc). You will feel drained and tired, you don’t feel loved, you feel used, you feel dirty. 

Satan loves to attack you with a spirit, then make you feel guilty about it.

If you feel guilt about anything, speak “I am righteous in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus”.

When you are transformed by the Holy Spirit, you no longer want the things of this world. It’s not conditioning or controlling yourself, it comes out of a deep desire for the things of God. But that means you have to be submitted to surrendering to Jesus. You can tell if someone is not fully healed or submitted.

It does not mean they are less than, but if you have convictions about things like sex, you’ll start to discern whether someone is really committed to a love relationship with God. 

Sex before marriage is lust driven. It literally means that a spirit of lust comes upon you. I pray that the Lord will heal you of an sexual wounds or heart wounds.

No matter what your past looks like you are pure in God’s eyes because of Jesus’ sacrifice that makes you white as snow. No matter what you did yesterday God only sees Jesus in you. 

But I want to share this with you, especially young men and women who feel pressured to be promiscuous because of what society says.

If you like to join my group, I’ve just started one: “Saving Myself For Marriage”.

Sow a seed to this ministry. You will surely be rewarded! God bless you!

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If you’d like to get coaching for relationships, career, life, learning to set boundaries, etc. please send me a message!