Healing The Brokenness In Our Hearts

Ugly crying.

Heartache and heartbreak. We try to avoid it but it comes after us. It makes for the best writing and the best songs, the best art, it’s what makes us human. Without it we wouldn’t know vulnerability, we wouldn’t love well.

We don’t love people well when we have closed hearts. Open hearts feel with others. Open hearts allow the risk of being hurt to be present. Closed hearts says “I don’t want to listen to your story because I don’t want to feel what you feel”.

It’s easy to be logical and tell someone to leave their abusive or unloving husband or boyfriend, but to go through it yourself, or to follow your gut and not your heart which often times is tied to brokenness in your soul, that’s another story.

As I’m talking to my friend about heartache I remember this one time years ago where my ex roommate tucked me into my bed. He was my first guy roommate.

I thought it was fine because I had a boyfriend. I was safe because I was taken, I wouldn’t have some type of love affair with a guy I lived with in the same house.

Because I was so broken and didn’t know what love was supposed to be like, I was attracted to men who were emotionally absent. And even physically absent, like my father.

My ex would disappear for days, sometimes not answering my texts or calls. I’ve never been obsessive, I’d send one text and wait patiently for a reply. I’d give up. I’d think “he must be busy”. But my mind would run wild. Where is he? What is he doing? I made excuses for his behavior. I thought it was normal because the fact that anyone was around was enough for me.

3 days would pass.

And the one who was present? My guy roommate. He had his own room FYI. I cried and told him my boyfriend had been ghosting me. I didn’t understand why there was a wall I couldn’t break down. Even when he was present, I couldn’t read his thoughts and he didn’t share his emotions with me. He was just a very practical guy. He could fix cars and lights. He could pay for dinner.

He understood instructions, and completed tasks, but when it came to his heart, he was completely illiterate.

My roommate played with bunnies on the grass. I thought he was a bit feminine. He wrote poetry and we would read our writing to each other.

I realized that I often went for guys who were emotionally unavailable because it was safer. I know it’s sound strange. Because emotional openness means telling your truth, and risking having to feel what you don’t want to feel.

It’s easier to shut your heart down completely than to speak your truth and feel those emotions.

My ex would tell me he needed space. “Why can’t you just tell me you need space?” I would say.

My roommate tucked me into my bed as I cried over my boyfriend at the time. Why am I with a ghost when there is flesh and blood here? He told me to breathe as he said breathing brings you back to yourself.

I didn’t understand it. I’d be attracted to a non-present man, while next to me was someone available, someone emotionally open, someone loving.

And my broken soul had to go for the broken man.

Someone I couldn’t attain, someone whose heart was locked with a dead bolt, tripled locked. No amount of prying, questioning, asking, praying seemed to do the job.

The only thing that pried my ex open was me mentioning breaking up.

It was the first time I saw him cry in the 2.5 years we were together. He begged and cried. What can I do to change, he asked. I said I needed to be with someone who believes in Jesus and I want to marry one day.

He said he would go to church with me. Let’s get married now!!

I said, no.

Because those weren’t the factors that prevented us from moving forward- I knew for ages that he wasn’t it, he wasn’t exactly what I wanted as a life partner.

So my heart didn’t want to break up, but my spirit knew – he’s not it. He’s not your life partner.

It’s easy to avoid talking about your emotions, it’s easy to shut down your heart.

What’s difficult is saying how you feel. And finding closure and agreement.

If you’re going through heartache I pray God would give you comfort in this hour. I pray you would know that God is with you.

He loves you dearly.

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Testimony From Taiwanese Divine Appointment- Setting Captives Free From Shame

One night in Shuangxi God told me to go to Taipei the next day (last year when I set out to follow Jesus and begin ministry). He said to check couchsurfing. It was midnight. I was surprised the girl accepted my request right away. I packed my bags and went to stay with her the next day.

We shared testimonies and I got to pray for her. That day I started getting oppressed in my mind. I felt so tired and wanted to quit ministering to people. I felt like it was too hard. That day I was so extremely exhausted I slept at 9pm (at the time the girl started knocking on my door).

The next day I was going to leave early (as I was so mentally exhausted and had a dream there were these idols and spirits trying to get near my bed) when she knocked on my door again and told me about how her dad had abused her as a child. She told me that in 30 ish years she has never told anyone.

I prayed and sang over her, it was a really intense healing session. She started crying and I felt God’s love so intensely for her.

I now realize the devil was trying everything to stop me from hearing her story and praying over her. I still remember prophesying “God is a good father, He is a good Father, He will never leave nor forsake you”- words that anyone who had a horrible father would need to hear.

Since then as I prophesied she has quit her job and traveled overseas to follow her dreams and the path God has for her. She has become a prized friend who I pray with often. I believe she is a pioneer who will deliver many women from shame as she discovers her identity in Christ Jesus.

Here is the testimony she shared with me. Is one sheep worth it? Yes. I pastor those who no one will reach, I pastor lost sheep. God has sent me all over the world to reach those who institutions will never reach.

I might not have grown up with a dad but I grew up with Father God and when you grow up with Father God you have an anointing to break off the spirit of shame and rejection. My dad said “she’s not mine” to my mother when I was born. But I am daddy God’s.

I am beloved by the Father. And no matter who abused you- daddy God loves you and knew you before you were born!

Her testimony –

How I met Rebekka

 

My name is Kelly J. Yeh. I met Rebekka in summer 2018. I was her Couchsurfing host and I hosted her in Taipei for 3 days. Before I met her, I took a trip to Sydney, Australia to visit my friend and roomate whom I met in university in the church. I was deeply touched by my friend’s hospitality so I decided to host some people.

I used Couchsurfing when I was traveling in Europe so I thought it’s time to give back to the community. God gave me a room that I could host for about 2-3 weeks so I got the chance to host her. It was really amazing that God arranged us to meet. God told me in that evening to check out what’s happening on the Couchsurfing app, so after work I decided to lay on bed and just browse through. Then she sent me the request. I read that she was born in Germany, so I decided to host her. And I didn’t think too much.  

 

Before I met Rebekka – about my personal background

 

I was born in a Christian family. My father and mother were introduced by a couple in the church and they got baptized before they got married. My father used to be very abusive toward my family and I. He passed away in 2009 because of liver problems. He used to hurt my family verbally and physically and most of my childhood I was in fear. I’m a person who values justice, so I always fought back verbally. But he never listened. I remember one day back when I was 8, my father hit me without any reason.

I had to PEE and CRY to had him stop hitting me. When I was 18 and after the university entrance exam, I sat in the living room using the computer and was just relaxing and reading. And then he started to yell at me and complained me about using the computer because it was “such a waste of electricity”. I really hated God for giving me a dad like this because all the sisters in the church I know have good parents and are rich. I didn’t understand why I had to suffer all this. I also got bullied during middle school and high school (I went to the top ones in Taipei) because of not cheating in tests with nearly everybody else in class.

 

Overall, my childhood was kind of miserable. You can say that. But I did all my best to try to make myself happy and not have depression. For example, reading novels, listening to music, going to the gym, etc. Until I met Rebekka and until she prayed for me.  

 

Testimony 

 

So when I hosted her, before we met, she texted me that she’s very happy to walk around the campus of the university I worked at. It seemed to be where her father use to work. She also told me she was amazed by the architecture inside the library.  

 

When we met, we told each other about ourselves. She was happy to know that I’m Christian and she told me that God told her to come to Taipei for a visit. I asked her why she came to Taiwan, and she said she wanted to meet her dad, and she is staying in the countryside of Taipei County – Shuangxi. She told me God wanted her to come to Taiwan so she booked the ticket and her mom was angry and didn’t talk to her for a while.   

 

When I went back to my room, God actually told me that I should host her and I should really value and honor this person.I was kind of surprised to hear this as God seldom spoke so clear and loud to me.  

 

The second night I hosted her, I attended the counseling session that my sister organized for my family nearby Taipei Main Station. I was really upset after attending it because my mom still wouldn’t listen to my painful experiences of growing up. I felt so BOUNDED and RESTRICTED in a sense. I went back to my place and knocked her door and I wanted to pray with her. She didn’t answer.

The day after that day we met each other in the morning, and I asked her to pray with me and I told her about my story that I described in the first session of this article and what I experienced last night. She told me that she had experienced strong spiritual warfare last night when she slept. I told her I felt so sorry about that because it was partly because of me that she experienced this, and she said it’s ok as she experienced this quite often.       

 

She hold my hands and we prayed together. After that I felt so much better. I felt that I’m not afraid of things anymore. I felt that I have the courage and I can be happy again, without making the effort every day to make myself happy. It’s actually a tiring process to repeat, to find things to satisfy your soul and spirit.

 

I have also been praying for a breakthrough for almost 3 years. God has listened to my prayers. And I have been praying for the healing for my period problem for 15 years. Now I’m still waiting for God to heal me.

 

I was also a wounded and lost sheep in a sense. I got hurt by the church because a lot of people in my church value money and appearance. My family is not the richest and due to my childhood experience, my period has never been normal again (I’m literally waiting for God to heal me now as I write ) and I have gained some weight though I don’t eat a lot. Literally only one sister whom I met at work wanted to introduce a brother to me. No one in my church value my appearance in the church. They value more the newcomers. I have attended the church for more than 10 years in faith but I really was just tired of it.       

 

After we prayed together, she told me that she felt that she knows why God sent her to Taiwan, and she felt that her work is done here. I asked her about she’s going next, and she said Korea.

 

We have been keeping in touch and encouraging each other since then, as in 2 month I also embarked on my journey of following Jesus in Europe, starting in London as God spoke to me about going to London.

 

 

About what I’m doing now

 

I decided to quit my job and take the trip and follow Jesus in September, 2018. It took me 2 months to decide to do it as it’s a big decision. I’ve been traveling since 16th. October 2018. I’ve also battled with a lot of kinds of evil spirits, all kinds of attacks like toothache that almost made me book a ticket back to Taiwan, a “healer“ that claimed to be able to heal my period problem but turned out to just wanted to date me and didn’t have good intention. Rebekka told me she saw an evil spirit and advised me to left his place. He had two roommates.  

 

I remember during my trip in London, I was really hesitant about going to Germany as the flights are expensive and I had bad memories about Germany. I had a bike accident there and my colleague from China prosecuted me and spoke to my thesis advisor and accused me in everything and had me to quit my job.

It was a great spiritual warfare and I really had trauma. Rebekka told me that God wanted her to tell me about going to Germany because I wouldn’t listen. She donated me USD 25 and thus I had the courage to book the ticket to Germany because of this. Later I gave her back this money because I wanted to her to buy something to celebrate her birthday. God provided me more than that amount, as my friend whom I helped and gave lots of advice with finally moved into an apartment and found a job working in a hostel rather than staying continuously in hostels and was constantly looking for a job.     

 

Where I’m currently at and where I plan to go

 

I’m writing from Tel Aviv, Israel. The Holy Land. I’m almost done with my 8-month Europe trip and I’m taking a rest here. There is really good energy and good vibes here! You should definitely consider visiting here. You won’t regret it. God provided me a host for about one week and where I can have some rest and finally don’t have to be stressed out about finance about housing. I will move to the hostel later in a few days as I feel God has arranged some people He wants me to meet.

 

Today God spoke me about going to Brisbane, Australia. I will also go back to Taiwan for a short while.  This is great faith, but I decide that I want to take a leap in faith to see what God has arranged me there.

 

My dream is to have a happy family and to experience once in my life what a happy and loving family is like. Also to help people. I hope to open a cafe or a hostel to help people. It’s a really big decision for me as I have a masters degree, have taught in university, have won the best paper award in Taiwan, etc. But I want to see what God can do. I really want to see that. And experience that.

 

I hope my testimony helps you. May God bless you! I hope to write about the divine encounters in my spirit-led trip later when I have some more time.

 

Yours truly,

Kelly J. Yeh

 

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When Serving Becomes Our Identity, Instead Simply Being a Child Of God

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I feel we are in a season of coming back to Jesus to get our self-worth, versus basing it on how we serve Him.

I just had a dream for my brother in Christ and I told him that he needed to slow down and spend time with Jesus and he said that I was right as he has traveled the last 2 months ministering to people, healing the sick, etc but that he was worn down and tired.

Sometimes in ministry we start to believe a few lies that I want to dismantle today-

Lie 1- Your identity comes from how many people you help.

Truth- Your identity comes from being a child of God, who God so loved that He sent His only child (Jesus) to be sacrificed for you.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1-2 

Lie 2- God will only bless you if you obey.

Truth – Jesus paid the price on the cross for your blessings. His work was perfect obedience to the Father and even if you don’t perfectly obey, He does not punish you for it. I want to reiterate that He wants us to live in freedom, not paranoia. Our hearts should only “do things” out of DESIRE, not duty. 

Obedience comes from the overflow of the knowledge that He loves you, not because IF YOU DON’T OBEY that He will take away what He wants to bless you with.

That is living under the law. When we live under the law of condemnation and punishment, working for our blessings, we will not receive it- why? Because it will always be conditioned on how much we serve and do, versus from the perfect knowledge that we are loved by God no matter what.

This reminds of the prodigal son story. The older brother worked in bitterness thinking he had to earn his father’s blessings versus the prodigal son who experienced God’s blessings by doing what he wanted to – then realizing that his ways were not working and ended up running back to his father. 

God wants to have a genuine relationship with you, not one that is forced or led by duty and obligation.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

When Jesus said it is finished, it is finished.

Lie 3- You need to sacrifice yourself when you are a Christian

Truth- God wants you to know that you are worthy, you are worthy of love and a good life. 

People who constantly sacrifice themselves for others believe that they are not worthy unless they are bringing something to the table. I’ve met people who say they do a lot for others because they want to show others that they are worthy….but people shouldn’t love or bless you because of what you do for them but who you are.

You don’t owe anything to anyone. You paid by being born. 

You don’t tell a baby that “one day you will pay by buying me a house” (Asian parents). You are a gift from heaven and you are a delight.

You are worthy of love just because you exist. 

God has grand purposes and destinies for you but He wants you to live out of a deep place of intimate love with Him. He wants you to know you are loved beyond comprehension first and foremost. If we serve or help others out of any other agenda (such as to prove that we are worthy to receive His blessings), then we are not living out of true grace. 

I’m not sure at what point I started to believe that I just needed to do more on this journey, but towards the end I was starting to wane in my passion. I was not being fed in my heart. I realize that I need a lot of alone time and I wasn’t getting it. When you are constantly serving others their voices start to muffle your own thoughts and desires. I’m grateful for the revelations God has been giving me in these few days. 

I pray today God would break off the slavery mentality and orphan mentality that ties you to “obligation”. You need to know that He loves you to the moon and back.

And HIS PROMISES FOR YOU ARE YES AND AMEN! AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO HAVE WHAT YOU WANT AS HE ALREADY BECAME THE PERFECT SACRIFICE ON YOUR BEHALF.

May you live completely from a place of knowing you are LOVED by God, and that your life will be driven by LOVE not FEAR. His love for you is not dependent on what you do for Him, His love for you is complete and finished. He does not look at your “disobedience” as He does not see blemish in you- He only sees Jesus in you (who obeyed perfectly onto the cross). 

I pray for the ministers and servants out there that you will not be confused by the enemy who tries to tell you that your worth comes from how much you help or don’t help others. That is a form of condemnation and accusation! I break off the spirit of python that tries to choke the life out of your heart and dreams in Jesus name! I break off false responsibility in Jesus name!

Our lives should never be driven by “I SHOULD”- your life should be driven by “I WANT”.

Sow-

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Jesus Was Not A People Pleaser

Today I had a huge revelation.

I don’t realize this but at times I feel pressured to be something I’m not because some people use financial contribution to manipulate or force me to be something I’m not.

In the beginning of ministry, when I was in Bali- a Christian wrote me and asked me several questions. How much do you spend per month, how do you know it is God speaking to you, etc. He said by knowing these things he would be more knowledgeable about how he and his wife could support me.

At first I replied thinking, wow- this guy and his wife wants to support me and contribute to what I’m doing.

But then after he said that God told him to observe what I’m doing.

I doubt that God told him to micro manage me. When God says to people – watch and learn, He is not saying “micromanage her and find out the how’s”…He is saying “watch how she steps out in faith without knowing how”.

That is how I’ve lived in the last year and even before that.

After quitting my job in 2011 I never really knew how God would provide exactly since I was freelancing and even picking up bottles to recycle…

But I heard His voice and His voice would lead me continually into the unknown.

So when God tells you to give to my ministry, He wants you to be connected to a faith that continues to step out without knowing how.

I have many people trying to micromanage me or hoping that they know everything about anything, but the truth is – I don’t even know where I’m staying tomorrow but God just says go.

That’s how I live now.

I don’t have my ducks in a row, I just get on the bus.

Sometimes I don’t know how the charge went through on my debit card but days like this, because of the weekend, I’m amazed that a lot of pending charges haven’t gone through and I can use it freely.

I live in a dimension of life that most don’t understand.

Why would a Buddhist/atheist at a bus stop donate $100 after telling him my testimony? I don’t know. God moved His heart. He said he donates to homeless people and I asked if he would donate to me. He said yes of course, a woman on her own, it’s incredible he said.

Why would a cashier just tell me he never met his dad? To a customer like me? So that I could give him my contact info and most likely meet with him after…I told him that I didn’t see my dad for 10 years and that I understood.

People think by understanding everything I’m doing that I’ve qualified under their list of qualifications to receive their financial support, but I don’t need it.

Not if I’m going to be scrutinized and manipulated.

God’s provision and blessing does not need human qualifications. I’m qualified by Jesus’ blood alone and I don’t need to bend and break for peoples’ approval- Christians or non-Christians.

If I’m outcasted by the majority of Christians I’m okay with that. I’m approved if by God, not man.

Why would God use a young woman like me? Jesus’ blood qualified me, not my education or ordained position at a church. Not my title as a pastor or prophet, not my smarts or eloquent words…I’m qualified by Jesus’ sacrifice!

Nothing else. Not by how much I read the Bible or how much I pray, not by church attendance or how much I love people.

And what continues to gain my access and provision is my choice to believe it’s by His finished work and not by my works!

If you give you give because Jesus gave it to you, not because you feel obligated to. You’re free to do whatever you want!

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Chinese man at the Airbnb I stayed at

You Are Enough

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Divorced parents? Check.
Failed businesses and careers? Check.
Been on an island with a few bucks left? Check.
Been rejected and outcasted? Check.
Considered running away and ending my life? Check.
Heartache, betrayal, brokenness? Check.
Debt and poverty? Check.
Feelings of unworthiness and lack? Check.
I’ve been through almost every kind of issues or challenges that life could throw my way. Even though I might only be 31, God has delivered me from issues that I can’t even describe until you get on a call with me. The hardships that I went through made me stronger.
I might not have a million dollars and live in a big house on top of a hill but what the Lord has showed me is that wherever you are, you are enough and not lacking. And your worth is not dependent on what you have or where you are in life, but who you are- a child of God.
So what qualifies me? The grace of God.
The finished work of Jesus on the cross. It’s not because my life is always together, I am not perfect, I am vulnerable, needy, challenged at times, scared at times- but Jesus has finished the work on the cross and because of that, I am enough, I am not lacking, I am whole, complete, without blemish in God’s eyes.
I am not working to be more or enough, I am enough because He finished the work.
I want you to get there, to get to the point where you can continue looking yourself in the eyes and say “I am enough”- no matter how much someone accuses you of being less than, no matter how much your parents pressure you to be more “successful”, no matter how much money is in your wallet, no matter what situation you are in life- you, are, enough. Period.
So why do you even need a coach?
Sometimes life can hit you so hard continuously that you think “I am not enough…because this and that happened to me, because my parents abused me, because my friends betrayed me, because my ex cheated on me, because my ex lied to me, because I grew up poor, because we couldn’t afford anything, because…..”
We think circumstances define us and tell us who we are; but the truth is- your circumstances don’t define you and it does not tell you your worth.
Your worth shouldn’t change based on what circumstances you are in, your worth is immovable. You can be sleeping in your car and the Lord will still reassure you “you are enough”. His presence is just as powerful.
Life hit me enough times for me to say to the Devil “I am enough no matter what you try to throw at me”.
Rejection hit. Ridicule hit me. My own family accused me. My friends betrayed me. Debt hit me. And I thought, I’m not able to fix anything, I’m helpless. That was exactly where God needed me.
He says “my grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness”.
So you think your life has fallen apart?
That’s a good place to be, His grace is sufficient. Think you don’t have what it takes? Perfect, look to the cross, look to His finished work, not your insufficiency or inadequacy.
I realized that I had to be broken down to my knees for me to realize how powerful God’s grace truly is. If I could have accomplished anything on my own, I would’ve said “I did it myself”.
Rebekkalien@gmail.com
Want to chat? Shoot me an email. Coaching sessions are via Facetime, Skype or FB messenger.
I prophesy that the most powerful and successful businesses, ventures are not those that pride in their own strength, but those who boast nothing but in the finished work of the cross.
Give-

 

Walking By Faith, Not Sight

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Writing from Nelson, New Zealand

Another day of following the Holy Spirit with my bag and suitcase.

Not comfortable. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and just went to pray, I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t have enough for a hostel the next day and today the Lord said “It’s time to move on”. I prayed for a few people and told my testimony to an English guy.

Dying to myself is so hard.

I want to be comfortable, I want to have the security of finances, but I have to trust God alone. 

R represents me, G is God.

R- I’m scared that you will leave or abandon me. I can just imagine the worse case scenario, me lying on the street.

G- Trust me. I am leading you to the lost sheep. My ways are not your ways. I know you want to know how it’s going to happen, but my ways are not your ways.

R- Why me?

G- Because you are willing.

R- But it’s difficult.

G- In your weakness my strength is made perfect.

“Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

R- I tried everything didn’t I? I tried to fundraise, I tried couchsurfing. But your ways are not mine, so though my heart is unwilling, I submit to your ways.

G- Flow with my Spirit. I know that you want to run away, like Jonah. But you’re choosing to stay. Remember when you watched “Married At First Sight”? You have a choice to STAY OR LEAVE…yet every time you’re choosing to STAY. You’re choosing the safe path of following me. Though everyone else may think this is the unsafe and unsecure path, you are choosing the only path that matters, the path of life, the path of the Kingdom, my path.

This all makes sense now. Before I left Los Angeles to follow Jesus in search of lost sheep, to share Jesus with people….I kept having dreams about getting married.

I had dreams that I was wearing a wedding dress and getting ready on an airplane.

This was saying “Yes” the the Ring, the dress, the commitment to God. This was believing that God had the best intention for me, that His heart is love for me.

That as a husband, God will never leave nor forsake me.

So I’m not alone, though I may feel that everyone else has abandoned me. 

I am so thankful for the people that continue to pray and support me on this journey, but nothing compares to the presence of God. People are not constantly next to me to root me on. People are not there 24 hours to pray with me. Sometimes I feel like I really can’t go on anymore, I feel petrified. I have a few dollars, I don’t know what will happen but I’m choosing intimacy with God.

The Lord has just drawn me to a place of closer intimacy with His heart. 

G- I will do and go anywhere for one person, will you do that? Will you pour out your life for the sake of one?

R- yes I do and will.

G- You are my faithful warrior. Don’t give up, be brave and bold for I am with you. 

Yesterday I prophesied over a Thai man, I saw him doing graphic design. He was shocked. He asked me how I knew as he just returned from Wellington (where he was doing graphic design)- I said Jesus showed me.

G- You’re bringing them closer to me. The revelation of who I am, love.

R- What about me Lord?

G- I will never leave nor forsake you. Be brave and move forward. Walk in my spirit. Walk forward even when you don’t know what will happen.

R- I will hold your hand even when my heart is fearful. I will hold your hand into the dark, as you are my light.

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Give to the work of the Kingdom, to saving souls and changing lives. Thank you so much for your continual support.

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As A Child, Depending On God

Breaking out of fear of lack: This journey recently has really challenged me to live like today is my last day. To not worry about tomorrow. There are times money is so tight I worry about the next day and God is just like – use what you have for today and tomorrow I will provide for where you will stay and what you will eat.
It’s literally living without fear of anything. Fear of danger, fear of lack, fear of tomorrow. When we are children, we learn to rely on our parents. It’s a given, we don’t think about it. But when we grow up we are taught to be self-sufficient. We are afraid to ask for help, we think it’s shameful to not be able to be independent. But none of us are meant to be self-sufficient. God wants us to be like children at all times. 

God is our father and He will provide all things according to His riches in glory.
So don’t clamp onto what He already gave you. Use it and He will provide more.
Our fear of tomorrow often has us holding onto what needs to be used for today, and we never really step into our purpose or destiny because we are worried about a future that never comes.

I see kids playing at the arcade and I’m reminded how kids rarely have a lot of money but when they run out they ask their parents for more.
God wants us to live like this in perfect faith that he will always provide when we run out.

God doesn’t want us to be self sufficient he wants us to be like children.

As I was writing this I saw a girl dancing in Burger King. Right before I found myself singing to the Burger King songs playing and she started singing too.

I had just moved to another hostel today and was feeling lack because I had $20 NZD left for food that day (and just in general and in total). I was worried about tomorrow and where I would stay. I was thinking about tomorrow but not having the energy for today (as the thoughts of lack was pressing down on me and weighing on my heart, truthfully there are just days I doubt that God will come through for me and my mind goes to worse case scenario).

However, there was a man on the opposite bunk bed that was hiccuping. I asked to pray for him and I said “I see you surfing” and he said “yes I surf, is it because you saw my tattoo?” and he turned his forearm. There was a tattoo of waves. I said “no, I didn’t see that at all”.

After that, I was like….I need to get out of this funk and just use my money in faith. So I decided to go to Burger King and have a meal. I guess God wanted me there to meet these girls.

I felt like I needed to pray for these 3 girls, 14 year old high schoolers.

They had such unjaded confidence, perhaps the type of confidence I once had but am finding again.

I ended up praying for them and telling them my testimony and journey. Truthfully sometimes when I pray for people, I am actually learning more from them than anything. They were all Christians too.

I remember when I was 14. I wanted to change the world and I believed that I could. I had a heart for women, and I wanted to rescue women from human trafficking. I thought that anything was possible.

I am slowly believing that again, but life sometimes have a way of getting you down.

All things are possible with God. 

Anything is possible. 

Help us to have a hope of a 14 year old.

Prayer:

Dear God- I pray that you will help our hearts to trust you completely, as children. I pray that we will not rely on ourselves, but the heavenly Father who richly provides. I pray that you will rid our hearts of the fear of lack. So often we grow up relying on our parents but when it comes time we move out and we think we have to be self-sufficient.

But God you desire us to be like little children, daily trusting you.

God today we trust you completely. You’ve never let us down. Rid our minds of the fear of the future. Our future is in your hands, not ours. You are our Father and you provide for us. Thank you for loving us. In Jesus name Amen!

When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

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