God Closes Doors To Protect You From People Who Don’t See Your Worth

 

God closes doors and opportunities to protect you from people who don’t see your worth
This VIDEO will change your life and how you VIEW REJECTION!

I have BEEN rejected so many times in my life. In fact, my elementary and middle school years were riddled with bullying and rejection. This continued on in my life as I was different wherever I went. I didn’t realize it was because of the light in me, my refusal to compromise my values and who I am.

I hope this video will change your life and how you view rejection. I know it hurts but when you see the light shinning in you, you’ll realize, GOD LOVES ME THE WAY I AM and HE CREATED ME THIS WAY FOR A PURPOSE! 

Be grateful when God hides you. “I know you have glory on you, but I don’t want the wrong people to see it and take advantage of it. They won’t cherish you, they won’t celebrate you, they’ll scheme and misuse you!” says the Lord.

Be grateful when God hides you because He WANTS YOU TO SEE YOUR WORTH before anyone else does so that YOU WILL KNOW how to negotiate for what you are worth when the time comes….you won’t settle LOW or SELL YOURSELF SHORT for the glory that is in you. 

Be grateful when God hides you because He is waiting for the RIGHT people and opportunities to open their eyes to you so that your anointing won’t be tainted by the greed and selfishness of the wrong people. 

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The Father’s Love Will End Your Search for “Enough”

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For many of us, we are taught that “one day you will be enough”.

One day when you find your prince charming and get married, then you’ll be enough (because someone wants you and find you valuable).

One day when you establish your career and make a lot of money, then you’ll be enough (because your worth is defined by the commas in your account).

One day when you contribute to the world by doing philanthropic work, then you will be enough (because your worth is defined by how much you give to the world).

One day when you move out and become independent, needing no one, then you’ll be enough (because you are born a burden to your parents and you are NOT enough when you are born).

All of those, a lie.

Because the search for enough is never ending in this world’s system, if you choose to live in that realm of reality. 

The search ends when you accept and believe that God has made you enough, that you are whole because Jesus took the place for your “not enough” and credited to your account who He is- perfect and “enough”. 

You are, perfect and enough in His eyes. 

There is something settling about finding your place in God’s embrace, when He speaks over you “you are enough”.

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Even though your parents, your surroundings, your peers might not find you to be enough, you sink deeper into His unending “enough”. There is an overflowing enough where your burdens are light and your responsibilities little.

All He has called you to is to rest and allow your burdens to become His.

Those burdens seem to vanish quickly, sinking into His love.

Why is it that many of us are cute and unconditionally loved when we are children, but when we grow up it seems that love is limited? 

Because people encounter disappointments after disappointments in their own life…..and they push hopes and dreams on you, hoping that you’ll BE THE ONE to make them happy. 

They hope that MAYBE you’ll give them the hope they need to continue dreaming and living, maybe you’ll be the one to save them.

The truth is only God can do that. Yes, you can give people hope, you can encourage them, but the true responsibility falls to the maker. 

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Who is the only one that knows you intimately, the one who formed you in your mother’s womb. We find peace and relaxation in His arms, knowing that He is taking care of us. Like a baby, we can sleep in peace and wake in peace.

We understand that it is His job to feed us, to nurture us, to protect us. 

But many of us did not grow up that way, so we continue to live in fear. We live like orphans without a daddy. We become independent in the physical and material realm but still hoping that someone will tell us “I’m proud of you”, “you’ve made it”, and “you are worthy of my love”. 

The truth is, no amount of verbal encouragement will ease the pain and void of not enough…only the embrace of the Father…can we find true ease. 

 

“So it’s okay to come out of hiding now, I know you have been through hurts and disappointments.

I know people have failed you, but my love will never fail you. I will guide you and protect you. I will not leave you or forsake you. I will not disgrace or humiliate you. You are safe under my wings and protection. Come out my hidden ones. It is your time to shine. Come out my beautiful children. I am your Father. I will never hurt you. Come out beautiful children of mine, kings and queens of this earth and the heavenly realms”.

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It’s Okay To Grieve The Last Season

It's Okay To Grieve The Last Season

It’s okay to grieve the last season. Maybe you lost some friendships, relationships in your life. Maybe you were disappointed. God is not scared of your emotions.

God wants your emotions.

He wants you to be honest with Him.

Don’t be afraid to FEEL the FEELINGS. 

We are not robots, we are human beings.

Even though our emotions aren’t always based on the truth of who we are, perhaps people accused us or we’ve been rejected and they are speaking lies about you….but it still hurts.

It’s okay to FEEL THE FEELINGS. 

Yes, there is a hope and a future for 2018 but maybe you haven’t processed the feelings of pain and loss. Take this time now to grieve, to cry.

You can’t possibly feel joy if you haven’t processed the pain. 

The death of something requires a grieving process. God can soften the pain, God will certainly be your comforter.

He wants to walk with you through the pain. 

“Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2 and he began to teach them. He said: 3“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted”….Matthew 5:1-4

So cry those tears, cry until your heart doesn’t feel blocked anymore.

Then you can start to see clearly what 2018 is about. Yes, your breakthrough is here. You just need to cry out the last season. Don’t be afraid to let go. Don’t be afraid to surrender. God has your back, He hasn’t forgotten you. He has a great plan for you this year. I promise.

But it’s time to LET GO and surrender. Let it ALL out.

God loves you.

A Blog Post For Children of Divorce

Divorce is awful to the people who divorce, but even worse for the children.

We are the invisible children who often suffer in darkness. 

But Asian culture makes it about invalidating the pain…”you should be grateful you know, that you weren’t abandoned, that a parent even took care of you” (like we are burdens instead of gifts in this world). These are the words you hear when you grow up in an Asian household. You are also taught to pretend like nothing is wrong. You are taught to hold your breathe and put on a mask. 

Because it is shameful, divorce. 

So there are seasons of my life where I feel pangs in my heart that I can’t explain, that I can’t pray away. It’s God healing the layers of pain that can’t be explained with words….it’s suffering in injustice and peeling off the hidden layers of protection, it’s trying not to drown and holding onto the cross, it’s looking up from under the ocean, every time God heals me…slowly swimming closer to the surface where I can finally breathe and laugh again.

It’s God unlocking chains that have held me down too deep, too many contracts and agreements that I didn’t agree to, that I was born into.

I didn’t agree to this. I break it off, I break off every lie that I was born into.

I break off every pain that tore through my heart, I break off the shame and the guilt that wasn’t mine.

It’s not your fault you know, if you were a child of divorce. You were a child who needed protection, not the other way around. You couldn’t possibly shield your parents from pain, you couldn’t have stopped the move, you couldn’t have because you were a child who needed protection.

So don’t feel guilty for not having done more. Even now it’s not your fault. You were a helpless child. 

Children of divorce often grow up with too much on their plates and they often continue to take on more than they can handle, sacrificing their own happiness to make others happy. Because I’ve caused enough hardships. I was a burden on her or him. My very life is a mistake. 

You are not a mistake, you are a gift from God. You were born into a tragic story but you were born as a brilliant idea of God, you are a gift and you are gifted.

No wonder some people live in rejection even until they are gray and old.

“No one will ever love me”- says he or she…”I’m not worthy of love”.

I wish I could tell you that this world is perfect, but it’s not. We are born into an imperfect world that needs redemption.

God is redeeming me everyday. Some seasons are heavier where I am faced with the wounds in my heart caused by thousands of stabbing.

There are layers and layers of protection and false bandages that children of divorce use. There are guilt trips and false shame.

Some of us live normal lives not recognizing or accepting that we have been wounded. These unrecognized wounds become unhealthy and destructive patterns in our lives. Sometimes we drown it with addictions like alcohol, sometimes we drown it by working hard and making money (and we are applauded for that, society looks up to that), sometimes we drown it with relationships and codependent friendships, sometimes we drown it by constantly being alone or constantly being with people.

It’s not about you, parents. This post is not about you. This post is about us children. We get to have a space to be ourselves, we are not guilt tripping you.

We get to have feelings, we get to have emotions. We are human, we are not an accessory to your lives. We were not born to be cute or helpful. We were born for God and FROM GOD. We were not born to satisfy or a fulfill a life you didn’t live, we were not born to be your source of love. We were born for God and from God. 

The responsibility to take care of wounded parents seem to last a life time, but it’s not supposed to. Children of divorce are not supposed to feel responsible for their parents’ divorce.

We are supposed to move on into healthy relationships and have healthy opinions of ourselves. 

But many of us still live under shame and guilt. We feel guilty for being born, we feel guilty for creating a mess, even though it’s not our mess. We feel guilty for being a burden. 

So God set us free.

Set us free from the lie that we are not enough.

Set us free from the lie that we are a burden and not a gift.

Set us free from shame. Set us free from feelings of unworthiness.

Set us free from the lie that we will never be happy and that we don’t deserve to be happy.

I have carried burdens that aren’t mine for too long and I need healing too. This is a space I get to be honest and myself. This is a space I get to be loved. Some people tell me “it seems like you are blaming your parents” or I hear “you shouldn’t write about it” ….but is silence better? Is it better to live in a world where everyone just pretends to be fine and dandy?

Why don’t we get to have feelings? 

If I don’t write about it, who will. Who will break the silence?

Who will shine light on the invisible children? Who will remember the forgotten ones? The children who grow up into adults but still live as rejects.

Most people will not see it, but God sees and He cares. He cares for every wound in your heart, He cares about every tear that you cry. He wants to set you free.

A prayer of release (read this out loud)- Dear God, from today on I break off any lies and contracts that were made on my soul and spirit the day I was born. I was born into imperfection and sin, but Jesus died on the cross for me to be righteous in your eyes. I am enough. I am loved by you. I am not a reject. I break off any responsibilities that are NOT mine.

From today on, I am a free person, I get to live my own life. I am not tied to my parents’ divorce, I am not a child of divorce any longer. I am a child of God. Now you are my parent, you take care of me, you protect me, you guide me. You have always been there for me, even when I felt like an orphan. I now remember that I am royalty, I was born to reign and not to suffer in silence. 

I forgive my parents and I forgive myself for carrying burdens that aren’t mine.

I am a free person! There is now no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus.

Thank you Jesus, in Jesus name Amen.

New Doors Won’t Open Until You Close The Old Doors

I hear God say “I won’t open the new doors if you are unwilling to close the old doors”. 
The new you and old you can’t exist in the same realm.
Some of you will need to quit the old job before you launch your new business.
Some of you need to delete old flings before your husband shows up!

I woke up from a dream where I had moved into a new house but I had let an old fling into my house. God was saying “you still have open doors to the people you need to close doors to!” It was so clear to me…if you don’t let go of the old things you will live a double minded person and never walk into the full promise of what God has for you!!!

Some of you need to shut the window and door completely to the guys or girls you used to like!!!! You say you want a husband or wife but you’re still thinking about the guy or girl you used to like!!! You are still remembering dates and moments with old flings.

You need to delete them completely. No marriage or new relationship will thrive if your heart is on the past. Same goes for career, life, housing, etc…….you must be focused!!!!

You are asking me what I did to close those doors? I deleted and unfriended guys I used to have feelings for. That’s right- HONEST AIN’T I? I deleted old photo albums and EX’s photos!!! You say, but those were the good times, the old times, the memories….NO, can you imagine if you got married to your husband and you found out he still talked to HIS EX? You would feel the same way right? 

God WANTS your full surrender so HE can GIVE YOU THE BEST.

Every Upgrade Requires A Cost

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I know this WORD is from God because I could NOT have thought of it myself.

Every upgrade in your life REQUIRES A COST. Take Iphones for example, every upgrade requires a higher cost. The Iphone X is $999  and “that’s just the entry-level iPhone X at 64GB. The 256GB model that everyone wants is $150 on top of that price” (techradar.com). The Iphone 8 plus is how much? $699 to $949.

Maybe 10 years ago we would have thought that’s an absurd price for a single phone. But we buy it now because we believe it is WORTH it’s value. It has functions that sync a phone with a waterproof camera, a planner, internet, mp3, etc….unlike in the past when everything was separate….

Every new IPHONE has to have ADDED or better features or else we wouldn’t be spending more to buy it if there was no DIFFERENCE from the previous one.

Some people have the newest Iphone but have failed to learned all the new functions that go with the phone so they’re still using it like it’s a flip phone…..but God does not allow that to happen….unless you want to, because it usually results in destruction.

For example – Having too much power in media or politics before you have the character or wisdom to be in that place. What usually takes place is a downfall or an attack from the public to build your character.

SO HERE is the lesson. Every upgrade requires a COST. 

When you are upgrading to another LEVEL in your life, everything NEEDS TO SYNC with it. 

You need to walk THROUGH fear into faith and that’s HARD. I know because every time I go through a transition, I SEE nothing, or very little evidence of upgrade….but I have to WALK through the feelings of being petrified into “GOD I believe, help my unbelief”.

Faith without doubt is not faith at all because faith requires us to walk even when we don’t see.

This comes with lots of “omg I’m so scared and I can’t do this, I feel like I’m not good enough” and nights (recently) where I’m facing my insecurities, I’m feeling fear on me, I’m feeling body aches…

But then God reminds me to USE my authority to CAST out the fear. Back then I may have just allowed the fear to stay in my body, but now I’ve learned to cast it out. I’m going to the next level in my faith. It’s hard, every time.

My Iphone 6 was stolen when I was in the Philippines. I was at the mall when someone pushed against me in line and my phone was gone.

The devil thought he could STEAL my phone, but he could NOT STEAL my identity. After that I used a tablet for a year or so when someone gave me his old phone. 

Because I no longer needed the latest phone to prove my NEWEST and latest identity.

My identity is waterproof, bullet proof, and it has all features. I’m spirit filled and death proof. If someone shot me today I’m going to heaven and seeing Jesus. If someone accuses me, I know God will protect me and I know I am enough in Christ. 

That doesn’t mean I don’t battle the FEELINGS of insecurity, but it’s just a feeling, it’s not the truth. 

When you upgrade into the NEXT you, what COST is required- 

  1. A decision to BELIEVE in the impossible, a DECISION to BELIEVE what is true about you and God. You will have to cast aside FALSE beliefs about who you are and what you can do.
  2. The old you and old mindsets. Like an iphone, you must sell or put aside the old iphone and USE the new iphone.
  3. Faith in the face of fear.
  4. Relationships that are not healthy or beneficial for this new season. Yes, you can stay friends with people but there are seasons that require you to zone in and focus on the development that is happening within. You may start to meet NEW people, you might have one divine encounters after another. God might set you ASIDE in solitude while He works on your heart (like a surgeon does with his patients).
  5. A decision to CHOOSE abundance versus lack….what decisions are you making out of lack? You must be conscious to choose abundance because your tent is about to explode with spiritual gifts of peace, hope, joy and love as well material gifts. You must SEE farther than your current budget or your current income. God is your provider, He can do all things according to His riches in glory.

The struggle in the metamorphosis process ((in an insect or amphibian) the process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages. A change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means – dictionary.com)….is difficult.

It’s not an overnight thing.

That’s why it’s disheartening when someone wants something right away…

Did you not know it requires everything to sync? 

  1. your beliefs
  2. your habits
  3. your character and integrity
  4. who you surround yourself with
  5. your humility

It’s a process that takes time as you FORM into the next you.

What does the “next you” consist of?

  1. Authority and confidence in your true identity
  2. Promotion in the spiritual and physical realm
  3. New levels of influence and friendships
  4. More Abundance in every area of your life- including peace, joy, love and spiritual gifts
  5. New annointing

So you’re not ALONE in this….because we are all going through this transformation, and it’s never ending, but I pray God will give you the rest and grace to enjoy the journey. 

No One Can Be Your Everything

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It sounds unromantic, but it’s realistic. 

Your girlfriend or boyfriend can’t be your everything. Your wife and husband can’t be your everything. Your friends or family can’t be your everything.

Because everything is perfect and no one is perfect. Imperfect people will soon disappoint you if you placed your hopes and dreams on just one person. 

Yesterday I went to a forgiveness class and there was a questionnaire that asked something along the lines of :

“I am angry at_______because of___________” From 1-5 level forgiveness level.

I put down family members and noticed a theme.

Everything stemmed from my absent father. He was physically and emotionally absent for 10 years and even before then my parents were already separated. So I lacked the emotional support of a father and my mother was also very emotionally absent from me. 

So I started looking for that emotional support somewhere else, friends. 

But when they said the wrong thing, set their own boundaries, I couldn’t take it. I lashed out, I disappeared just as my father disappeared from my life. That was the only way I knew how to protect myself. 

I let other people step on me or was NICE to people to get what I wanted- their approval. 

Then God took me into a journey of solitude and seeing myself right.

I needed to make God my sole emotional support and to be my own biggest cheerleader.

I’m not SAYING we don’t need people, because people help us, support us…in the right ways…..

BUT when we are looking for approval from people—-they will surely anger and disappoint you. Approval doesn’t come from people. God has already approved of you. He says “you are enough, you are worthy of love”.

Everyone has bad days. If we look for approval and put unjust burden on them to take care of us when they are incapable of even taking care of themselves—-we become codependent. 

Codependency.

This happens when we make people God. People are not God. People are imperfect.

See yourself right. You’re not perfect. You will disappoint others. You were not put on this earth to please people nor become a God for them. In fact you HURT them by taking their own emotional responsibilities. 

  1. Awareness
  2. Releasing the Past

So last night I had to come to terms with my past. Yes I reconciled with my dad, yes I forgave him and myself…but did that mean everything changed? No. He was still physically and emotionally absent from my life. Things didn’t change. I didn’t magically become close with him nor did I magically have a happy childhood filled with moments where I shared my heart with my dad. 

A moment of grief.

A moment of acceptance.

I said “I accept that this is the reality and I’m accepting it because you God are my everything and I want to share my heart with you”.

Now I can truly let go. I can’t change the past nor can I really change this relationship by myself and it’s okay. It’s okay because God’s got me.

Now I need to be the biggest cheerleader for myself….and it’s taken me years to realize that. As I backpacked through the caves of Malaysia and traversed the jungles of Ecuador, climbing mountains in Taiwan I would hear God whispering to me. I was scared at times, lying awake with no one to talk to with deathly food poisoning, thousands of miles away from home. Yes, I didn’t have much of an emotional support, but there I was – “am I enough for you?” I heard my own soul ask. 

You are enough, you are enough. It’s okay.

There was this theme in my questionnaire- “people didn’t support me in my dreams”.

And I remember all the people who felt utterly alone in their dreams – Abraham, Joseph, etc…and all the tech companies that no one believed in in the beginning. LOL.

Do YOU believe in your dreams? 

Allow others to be themselves. You don’t need everyone to believe in your dreams for you to pursue them. Think of it as a secret in your heart, a baby you are feeding. It is exciting and you may want to share it with the world but sometimes the world is not ready for such a magical thing.

Sometimes you might meet a few rare gems who will stand beside you. Don’t make them your everything. Everyone has their own journey to walk and sometimes it’s through a dark and cold alley. God will walk with you through those alleys. He will never leave you.