Love Is Not Kept, It Is Experienced

woman-holding-man-s-hand-during-day-773124

I heard God say “Love is not kept, it is experienced”.

Sometimes when we lose someone that we loved in our life, we feel like something is missing. You were never lacking, you just experienced love through this person.  You loved and you were loved. That’s divine.

Today I was going to uber somewhere and it malfunctioned. It was already noon and I hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch. I decided to take the bus.

When I walked to the back of the bus I was surprised to see a guy I previously met on the bus and ministered to. We talked and I started to feel anxiety because he kept talking about how everything is lacking. I tried to encourage him and I heard God say “don’t try to change him, just get to know him”. Well, how do I do that God when he is speaking from so much lack. I tried to tell him how I backpacked 30 countries and how there is so much in the world, dreams, visions, I wanted him to see the possibilities and not to just live for his grandparents. He would even say “well I don’t go out because then I have to spend money”.

I tried to tell him how I felt, he was like a brother to me. I realize I have the habit of trying to fix someone and I know it’s not my job to, God wants me to understand relationship, it’s about just being with someone. Love is about understanding and accepting where people are at in that moment. You need to love yourself in that way too, wherever you are, whatever state you are in, accept where you are.

The next bus I transferred to had a mentally unstable man. He had a spiderman web tattoo on his hand and AWOL tattooed to the top of his eyes, under his eyebrow. He was talking to himself.

I heard the Lord say “pray for him”, but I kind of didn’t want to. There were other people on the bus across us. Finally I made some comment. I looked him in the eye and asked what his name was. He became normal all of a sudden, I guess that is what human contact does.

He said he does meth sometimes when he is depressed, it helps him clean out.

I asked if he knew Jesus and he said not really. I prayed to cast out the spirit of suicide. He bowed his hands and put his hands together like a prayer emoji. People were watching us.

I finished praying and then he said “can we make out?”

I said “no”.

He said “I can see Jesus looking at us, smiling, saying ‘I am so proud of you two'”.

Then he started to get off the bus, he said “I love you Rebekka”.

I said “I love you two”.

He’s like “this area is just full of crime and stuff”.

Then he was off.

I felt warm in my heart. God, I know I complained when you told me to pray for him, but I get it now. It’s love. Love is to be experienced.

Sometimes we don’t want to put ourselves out there, because it’s scary, but love is to be experienced.

When you’re hurt by someone, it doesn’t mean they took anything from you. You were never lacking. When you’re hurt, when you lose someone, that’s all that is. Life.

Then more love will come, from God, from people, through people, but they are conduits of love, not someone to be kept (to be locked down, to be controlled). They are children of God, images of God, reflections of yourself.

couple-embracing-3156993

So while God has been bringing me to different men, to meet, to talk to, to minister to…there are some I am actually attracted to, and I find myself closing my heart because I don’t want to get attached in anyway knowing they are not my future husband…but I realize, it’s not about that, it’s about simply opening my heart to love.

I’m scared that I’ll lose someone and they’ll just disappear, like my dad.

I’m scared that I’ll get attached and suddenly they are not there anymore, and then I’ll have to feel pain. I hate the feeling of pain, no one likes pain. But that’s the beauty of love.

Experience every emotion, and then move through it. Don’t avoid the feeling. Don’t run from it. Embrace it, and then love again.

Don’t live in regret that you got hurt by someone, or that you chose to love someone….

Everything you experienced was love.

Sure, you may not have married your high school sweetheart but every person you loved was an experience of love.

Love is not kept, love is experienced.

I experience love through every stranger I meet.

Sometimes I am deeply hurt by people I minister to or are friends with. Sometimes their words pierce my heart and I want to cry. I do cry. Sometimes I weep. But all of that is my human experience, love experienced.

I never lacked anything or anyone. I don’t lose anything when I lose someone I love, because they were simply an expression of God’s love to me. 

In that way I don’t have to regret any experiences of hurt or love, I don’t have to regret even hurting myself. I learned from it, I learned to love myself.

You don’t have to be afraid of love my friends, open your heart, you will get hurt but you will be loved too. 

You may not be part of my life forever, but you are here to show me a part of God’s love. I receive that and I can freely give love too. You are not taking away anything from me. You are simply receiving love from God through me. We don’t own anyone, we don’t own our family or our friends.

This way, I can freely release you when it’s time to, if I have to. I can allow you to love whoever you choose to love. And when I lose you, I know God will send others too.

When I meet my husband, I can love from a place of abundance knowing I never lacked anyone or love, that I was always whole in God’s eyes. 

Congrats to those who are getting married soon by the way 🙂 Love you!

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Cashapp-gugibabu

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

I Can’t Please Anyone, I Can Only Be Myself

I was laying on my couch in a fetal position. I don’t know, I was scared. If you’re in relationship with people, you’ll get hurt and you’ll hurt people. I’m petrified to be in relationships with new people, I’ve been really hurt in the past 2 years (doing ministry).

That’s something I did not feel like going through. And now, people were actually being nice to me, they were approaching me, messaging me, saying they liked me a lot.

But it’s scary when people are nice to you, because any minute they can betray you and one wrong thing can tick them off (I’ve realized). Maybe they never told you how they actually felt and they were bottling everything inside and now one thing you’ve done wrong have totally pissed them off. 

What about all the things you’ve helped them with? It seems that it no longer matters. It happened to me, and it frightened me how quick people could change.

I realize because the last couple of months I’ve experienced a lot of judgement and rejection from people around me. Some were unintentional, and some well, I was confused by it. How could I have done it better? I’ll think. I thought it was maybe better to not deal with people, yet there were people all around me.

Ministry is that, people.

I am not perfect, my word is not final. God’s is. Everyone must hear God for themselves, not rely on a teacher, preacher or prophet.

I think I’m petrified in making a mistake in relationships. It’s easy to prophesy and leave, but to actually manage peoples’ hurts and emotions, and not to take on the responsibility to heal them- give it to God. 

That’s the hard part. Ministry is so hard.

I’m a human too, I have emotions. It hurts to be rejected and judged because everyone has triggers, everyone has past hurts. Something I might say may trigger someone and then when they blow up, I feel like it’s my fault. But I know it’s not, yet, it takes time to recover. 

I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

Welcoming new people into my life is difficult, it takes courage, it takes grace.

I am not perfect, I am perfect in God’s eyes sure, but I may not always know how to act or be, and that’s why I need to realize, it’s not on me to make others happy, I just need to know I am enough in God’s eyes, be myself and be gracious towards myself if someone gets hurt. 

I can ONLY be myself, write authentically, speak truthfully and obey God for myself.

I cannot be responsible for your emotions and your life. I cannot take on false burdens and responsibility and try to make YOU happy.

People come to me and tell me not to write a specific or certain thing and I start doubting, “God should I change what I write so they won’t feel bad or be triggered?” and I often hear “just be honest”. 

I can’t change how I write, what I say, who I am. I just have to continue being myself. 

I know I am influential and I have a platform, but it’s a platform God gave me – not to please anyone, but to be 100 PERCENT myself. If I change what I write to please you, I’ll not be myself. I can try to communicate and understand your story, but I can’t change who I am to appease men. 

Please do not rely on me, please do not think I’m the ultimate voice. Please don’t put that much power in me.

I’m learning to live from a place of freedom versus fear, a place where I can be totally myself and not try to please anyone, or play defense all the time, just waiting for when someone gets ticked off and explodes.

I hope that there will be more people who actually tell the truth at all times and are not afraid of confrontation. 

I want these people in my inner circle and I believe it is a safe place to be, no judgement or rejection, but only honesty and love. We’ve all been hurt before, but it’s important to start speaking your truth to people even when it’s scary and know that you’re a child of God, loved by the heavenly Father.

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Cashapp-gugibabu

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Prophetic Word- Confront The Fear

I woke up this morning feeling really paralyzed, I haven’t washed my hair for 2 days (a rare occasion), my period is coming and I realize I needed help to overcome the fear of punishment/condemnation. There was a situation that I needed to confront with my mother. I find that God uses money the most for me to confront fears. For example, asking her for money. Because that is the biggest source of worry and condemnation in her life.

We struggled with money growing up and God has sent me to live with her to help her break off the spirit and fear of lack. I had always grown up very independent but I never knew my worth as a child. I was ashamed to ask for help and prided myself in being independent.

Prophetic Word- DO THE ACTION THAT WILL CONFRONT THE FEAR 

We ask God to upgrade or promote us, but that means there are more opportunities for the public to criticize you. God will never give you more than what you can handle. Is it easy? HELL NO.
IT’S really hard.

And a big part of me wants to run and hide.

And I do, sometimes. I run and hide and I don’t want to put myself out there to be hurt or judged.

The more we can go to God to mend our wounds, the quicker we can get healed and walk forward.

When we submit to FEAR instead of listening to GOD, AS HARD AS IT IS IN THE MOMENT, we stagnate our progress.

We SO want to be in control, we want to be in a safe place emotionally, ALL THE TIME. We want to be in control of peoples’ reactions, but we can’t control them.

I pray all the time PROTECT MY HEART. But I still get hurt, I get wounded and I don’t want to get up. I want to hide.

“I’m RIGHT HERE” says the Lord.

He never left you nor forsook you.

I’m a safe place, says the Lord.

Today I pray the LORD BREAK OFF THE SPIRIT OF FEAR IN JESUS NAME. The vision I saw was a picture of me in a royal robe, a dress, I am royalty. You are royalty, nothing will phase you. You are deserving and worthy.

Knowing this, Ask God to Go with you to do the ACTION to confront the fear..

+ God may be asking you to confront a person
+ He may be asking you to step out of your comfort zone
Whatever it is, know that God is with you.
#bexprophetic

What is your BIGGEST FEAR? 

Telling people how you actually feel? Asking for help? Emotional, financial or spiritual help? Performing? Marketing yourself? Asking for a raise? Fundraising?

Please feel free to comment below. 

Partner with me today. Consider sowing $50, $100, $200, $500 or more today, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Another way to support is to purchase a shirt. I think I’ve launched this 4 times already. It failed like 4 times. But again, perseverance. Click here to purchase shirts, sweatshirts, t-shirts, tanks in different sizes.

It's so easy to stay small, to stay in our comfort zone, to do what is familiar. But flowing in the wave of the holy spirit means stepping out into the unfamiliar. YES you might hate it at times, but God will always (1)

I have not gone into everything with boldness, I’ve gone into most things feeling the FEAR, feeling the apprehension, but God eases me and says “I’ve got you”. Fear is fake, fear is a skeleton that flaps his hands, he can do no harm.

UPDATE! IN THE LAST HOUR.

My Provision Testimony – 

So I had been worrying about finances as sometimes I’m afraid to move forward or go out as I don’t see a way (in the dream I was telling a friend that there was a deficit I had to pay off from last year) and then God gave me a dream where I was opening books (different books and each one had cash inside) and there was Taiwanese money inside one book, but I had left it somewhere.

In the dream the water in the pool became a slide. The water rose up and went down. And people were sliding down into this safe place.

And then this morning someone who lives in Taiwan sowed a seed. It was the exact amount I saw in the dream.

LOL.
Jesus.

So I don’t know what you are going through, God may not provide everything you need for a month, but He may provide what you need for the day.

Don’t live in fear because you don’t see a way for a few days, if He has given you enough for today, move forward in courage and live your life flowing with the Holy Spirit.

Billete-de-1000-dólares-de-Taiwán-1000-TWD.jpg

Love Letter From God- You Are A Child

group-of-people-having-neon-party-1684187

Dear Child,

You know how kids run around? They throw tantrums, they draw on the wall, they fall and run, they spill juice? I want you to be like that. I want you to freely talk to strangers and not be afraid of judgement or rejection. You are free. You are wild. Be that. Now I am setting you free from many fears that you’ve accrued in your life.

You got rejected by a class mate, you tried to be friendly to someone on the street, they yelled at you. You became afraid, you tried to hide. 

You were betrayed by friends, you failed math or chemistry, you started to feel like a failure. You could never meet your parents’ expectations, life wore you down and you kind of just gave up. 

Well, I want you to know that you are perfect in my eyes, run around again- Like that free kid. 

And maybe you never got that kind of childhood, but I’m teaching you now. Hey you have freedom to be a child. I will never yell at you. I will never criticize you. I will only pick you up when you fall. I will give you a hug and say “I love you, I’m so proud of you for trying, I love those drawings on the wall.

I’m not concerned about the dirt on your pants or the dirt in your hair, keep climbing trees freely. I’m not concerned about the couch, it’s just a couch. Jump freely on it.

I know they told you you had to sit still in church, but you can dance if you want.

I know there are times for discipline as a good father disciplines his children, but not in the way of judgement or condemnation, I will love you to me.

You are not all knowing, and that’s okay. You didn’t know that you would get hurt or that you would get into an accident, that’s okay. Keep living in freedom, don’t be afraid to try again. Your parents said “you should’ve known” but you didn’t. You were just living in freedom.

My children know their identity and they are free. Maybe you don’t feel like a child sometimes, maybe you are afraid to fail, maybe you are afraid of rejection, but do you know that I love you so much? 

It doesn’t matter that they reject you, you are so loved by me. I have so much love for you.

Come to me and come walk with me. I’m always by your side, I have never left you. Why do you think that I left you when all this time I was by your side? I am not people that I should leave you. There are times and seasons and not everyone is supposed to be there at all times, life is complex and there are seasons people need to move on and you need to move on from them too.

And that’s okay, because you will make new friends.

Children do whatever they feel like, they don’t sit there waiting for their dads to tell them what to do, they live in freedom. 

Of course I will guide you through your desire, I will give you directions to lead you to great things because I can see things ahead of you. But these are not instructions to limit you but to surprise you, to bless you. 

These are instructions to guide you so we keep walking with each other as you learn to trust me continually, you learn my character, you learn that I am reliable, that I am trustworthy.

I will never force you to do something you don’t want to. But as you trust and walk with me, you’ll see my heart of love for you. 

You are walking in your true identity as a child of God. You need nothing else. It’s so much fun, let’s also have fun together. Let’s break barriers and let’s go on adventures. 

You are enough, you’ve done enough, you are perfect in my eyes because of Jesus sacrifice. You don’t have to do things you don’t like anymore.

photography-of-kid-wearing-sunglasses-838879

children-playing-bubbles-2914265

To partner and give- thank you for your love and support. I could not have done it without your support this year. Thank you to the friends that I call family now. I love you all, Rebekka.

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

No Condemnation in Christ Jesus

Prophetic Word- IT’s NOT YOUR FAULT, TAKE ON THE BLOOD OF JESUS AND KNOW God DOES NOT SEE SIN IN YOU ANYMORE. THE ENEMY HAS BEEN TRYING HARD TO DISQUALIFY YOU THROUGH YOUR WORKS, but Jesus does not see any sin in you anymore.

WHY? NOW, the ENEMY IS WORKING OVER TIME TO PUSH YOU BACK INTO EGYPT SO YOU WOULD FEEL CONDEMNED AND ASHAMED AND NOT ENOUGH TO GO INTO THE PROMISED LAND.

Would you consider giving $20 or more to my ministry? Somehow God has been telling me to ask for my daily provisions so that I can go where I am led. Its been day by day.

Im going forward into my promised land (my dreams and ministry in hollywood). It is already mine but there was a lot of pushback. Someone hit my mom’s car while i was parked, someone stole my phone a week ago.

These events tried to put guilt and blame in my heart so that id stop going out and live in fear. My mother started guilt tripping me and telling me she couldnt sleep or was worried about me. What if, shed say.

Yesterday i felt the Lord tell me to go out late night but i felt the struggle of guilt and false responsibility for my mom. I didn’t end up going.

I asked God to rid my heart if false guilt. This morning I spoke honestly and asked her to not speak death over my dreams.

I layed down my dreams to pastor lost sheep and God is giving it back to me but it has come with a lot of resistance as i grow the ministry and take more spiritual territory, in reaching lost sheep in hollywood.

Yesterday i met a young chinese woman in the sauna. I asked if she was chinese or korean. She told me everyone she meets is christian for some reason.

She said a lot of the rules in church stop her from wanting to believe in jesus and i explained grace to her.

I said your shoulder hurts? Cuz mine started hurting…..and i just heard the lord say “its not your fault” and i could feel my heart pang.

I said when you believe jesus you believe he took every fault on the cross so you no longer have to bear it. Then i told her how someone stole my phone and i blamed myself while my mother also blamed me.

She said she also broke her laptop a month ago and blamed herself. I said God will replace it..and not to put responsibility on her shoulder but to cast it on God.

She felt that if she knew clearly whose fault it is in different situations in life she wouldnt have to bear the burden and responsibility as she was literally and physically suffering for it.

I told her how when you believe in jesus you know He took on everyone’s fault and deficiency on the cross so you don’t have to bear it or punish yourself for it.

Give –

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Would you like to receive my exclusive email newsletter? You’d be a VIP of my club. If so, please comment with your email below or when you give to links above, include your email address. You’ll receive personal zines from me.

You can also reach me at rebekkalien@gmail.com (please no spam, just send me love letters and words of encouragements, and if you can relate to anything in my posts, I’d love to hear from you).

A Real Conversation with God About Pain

Lake & Mountain.png

To Listen to the Blog post 

I hear you talk, and I know your voice but I don’t seem to know what I feel or what I’m thinking.

This needs to be fixed. I felt like a mute kid, that kid playing under the table. I stopped speaking because I lost my heart to betrayals and heartbreaks.

What’s the point of speaking if I’ll be dismissed. 

I saw this in my relationship with my dad, I spoke my mind but he disappeared, for a few days without telling me.

He disappeared for 10 years, then every time I visited another 3 went back.

I saw this pattern in my life, people disappearing. 

But you never did, did you God?

God – no. I never will.

Me- But why does it feel like you are silent when I need you to speak, and why do you speak when I want you to be silent?

God- Because I can’t be controlled and I don’t need to give you directions all the time, you can trust your heart.

Me- I’m not sure if I trust my heart because it obviously gets trampled when I throw my pearls to people. I try to guard my heart the best I can, but I still get ravaged.

God- Your heart is in the palm of my hands and I love you to the earth and back. You are my beloved and I will never let you go, I will never neglect you.

Me- But why does it feel like you are neglecting me right now. Why is everything so hard? Like pins and needles in my heart?

God- Come to me and I will give you rest. You don’t have to be afraid of me.

Me- It’s easier to fix the external things then to just submit myself to the process. The pain is too much to bear. Yesterday I felt like a wrecking ball. Like the song.

God- This pain isn’t forever, this pain is a passing thing. It doesn’t belong to you. Let it out and cry if you have to, cry and let the pain through. Don’t stop the pain. Let it pass through you. 

Me- I want to be in control, to make things happen, but I know that’s not what I need. I need to just let the pain through but pain is uncontrollable, it comes out when you least expect it. Like when I was eating at a restaurant with hundreds of people around me, I can feel their eyes staring. I am embarrassed and horrified. So I let a few trickles out. My mother is accusing me of being useless, she makes me feel like I am a burden.

God- you are a gift from heaven to earth. You are a gift my dear, not a burden. You are my precious queen.

Me- The words sting so much I can’t seem to hear anything else.

God- Then saturate your soul with my words. Any words that align with my heart, listen to that, hear that, speak that.

Me- Why do I have to keep doing damage control? Why can’t I just leave? Move out already? Why don’t you make a way?

God- Because I am doing something new, I need to solidify identity in your soul and spirit. So the battle seems hotter, heated, tougher, but you will get out of it golden. Don’t run from the battle, run straight into my arms. You are safe here, the words are just flies. The words are lies, it hurts but they are lies. They aren’t true.

I will never leave nor forsake you. Lift up your head, your not what those words are dear. I will never drop you, I’m not a deadbeat dad.

Me- Am I really safe with you?

God- yes. Beyond safe. Let the pain through, don’t stop or clog it. Don’t distract yourself with doing. Don’t try to fix the external, don’t try to run away, don’t try to figure out your life.

Sit with me in the fire. Sit and let me extinguish the fire, let the water of the Spirit wash you. Because my love is enough, don’t be afraid. My love is enough for you. Don’t go looking for it anywhere else, my love is enough.

Come to me all who are weary. I know nothing LOOKS right, nothing feels right, but I am here with you in the fire. Look into my eyes, don’t look away. Look into my gaze, because this love is enough. 

Love, Rebekka

Fundraising has been super slow this season, so if YOU’D BE ABLE TO GIVE THIS SEASON, know that God will multiply your seed. Anything helps! I can use all the help I can get. Thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Would you like to receive my exclusive email newsletter? You’d be a VIP of my club. If so, please comment with your email below or when you give to links above, include your email address. You’ll receive personal zines from me.

You can also reach me at rebekkalien@gmail.com (please no spam, just send me love letters and words of encouragements, and if you can relate to anything in my posts, I’d love to hear from you).

man-wearing-white-long-sleeved-dress-shirt-holding-2035871

 

My Testimony

78911577_10162762279865603_4909265245597335552_n

Dearest Friend,

Here’s my year end support letter and testimony. I have come a long ways, the Lord sent me out July 2018 and I have gained many brothers and sisters in Christ. I thank you for those that have continued to pray and support me when you can.
Let’s just say it has been an uphill battle. The battles were the religious spirit, tradition, persecution, warfare, yet at the end of all this I can say Jesus has comforted me and shown Himself faithful.
I have become much bolder than before. There was so much shame attached to asking for financial support in my ministry, because in Asian culture it’s not seen as “upright” and since I had to start my own ministry, the uphill road was windier and harder….to believe what God says about me is true was even harder because there was very little encouragement from other people. I had to go off of what He said and simply obey.
I can honestly say I cried everyday for 2 years. If I didn’t cry that day I was probably having to pray in tongues because the warfare was so intense.

Thank you for those that have prayed for and invested into the kingdom through me this year. I have seen many set free from condemnation and brought into God’s kingdom. Still, there is more work to be done, not from a place of strife or lack, but a place of abundance and rest. God is situating me in Hollywood to set people from from being orphans, into sonship. I am going back into Hollywood and God has given me a continual heart for the LGBT community and creatives. 

Would you consider giving a year-end gift? My goal is to raise $2020 to bring in the new year.

Thank you for your generosity and love.

Everyone that is connected to me is my family, and I pray for each one of you. Become a financial partner today-

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

May God multiply every seed you sow. God has told me that there is a great harvest on my life and everyone who sows into me will reap greatly.

 

Rebekka’s Story

38683873_10160760280290603_4321900739560472576_n.jpg

I heard the Lord say “Tell your Story”. I had a dream I was crossing over but didn’t know if I should go over land or air and I was wondering if I should tell the girl I was with my story.

So here goes:

I was born in Hamburg, Germany. My parents divorced when I was 8. I moved to Taiwan when I was 5 and then to LA when I was 8. Growing up I just remember feeling really alone and isolated. I spent a lot of time journaling and playing under the table. We had a lot of financial struggles growing up because my mother was a single mom. Early on, I felt depressed and felt like I was always lacking, that I was never enough because I didn’t have an ideal family background. I couldn’t feel God’s love all the time because my dad’s love was not present. I did not see my dad or talk to him for 10 years, then every 3 years I’d see him if I’d visit Taiwan.

At the age of 12, I received Jesus into my heart. I felt God’s tangible love and fell to my knees, weeping. After that I started to hear God’s voice. People at my church thought I was crazy and tried to refute me with the Bible. I kept looking for approval and validation from people because I wanted to be loved for who I was, but it was never enough.

In 2011, I quit my full time job and pursued what the Lord had put on my heart. I started teaching piano, cello, sewing, selling jewelry, clothes, real estate, and acting etc. I’d put down something if it didn’t bring my joy or allow the Holy Spirit speak to me about what to pursue, but  eventually in 2015 after sitting in a hostel room in Spain, the Lord told me to quit my career in real estate. I felt so much joy with just a bag, I didn’t have much but I felt free. I returned to LA and the Lord told me to sell everything and follow Him. It was difficult and every week I surrendered something, whether it was an ex boyfriend, a friend, or my possessions.

At one point I had $200 and was late on rent and the Lord told me to give it. He said “whose house are you building, yours or mine?” So I proceeded to be late on rent for 2 months after I surrendered what I had. My friend said I was overcoming the fear of men (people, authority) and the fear of death (deadlines). It’s called dead for a reason.

At this point everyone thought I was crazy except a few close friends. I had to block a few relative members from coming into my life because I was being persecuted by them.

The Lord led me to move back home. It was a studio and I had to sleep on a couch pull out and sleep in the same room as my mother.

I didn’t understand it but God told me to stop working for 2 years. I had been working since I was 8 years old. How could I stop? Yet, in resting I started to understand what it really means to be a child of God.

It means that you receive from God what you did not work for. It means you have been adopted by God, and you no longer strive in your flesh, but learn to walk in the Spirit. You trust God as your provider, not what you see or have in the moment. His voice becomes everything.

My mother would still accuse me of not working or being useless, but every time I’d say out loud “I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus”.

Before I’d try to tell her that I was working for God, but then I realize that was also trying to prove my worth through works. I had tried to prove how worthy I was through my accomplishments all my life, through grades, through my career, through my looks, through what I possessed. But  now God had stripped me of everything so that I can “boast in GRACE alone”.

In 2018, God told me to go to Taiwan. I had $20 at that point. I cried in my mother’s car thinking “how am I going to survive”. Rewind back to 2015, the Lord told me “you’re a pastor to lost sheep”, I asked God “how will I survive?”, He said “I will provide”.

I went to Taiwan thinking I was going to live with my dad for a year and then God told me to go to Korea after a month of being in Taiwan.

My ministry started in a hostel (a dorm room of 10 beds), praying and prophesying for young people who had no knowledge of Jesus. I prayed for a Muslim girl’s stomach to heal at a barbecue restaurant, we walked around as I started to tell her my testimony. Since then I’ve ministered to thousands of people and God led me to Korea, Japan, South Africa, China, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Australia, Samoa, Australia, Fiji, New Zealand, India….

44786427_10161060527435603_5066796949433221120_n.jpg

I went into New Zealand with a one way ticket. Actually I went into most countries with a one way ticket because God hadn’t provided for the next place yet. I went into South Africa with $20 and a credit card. I didn’t know where I was going but God would tell me (or give me a sense) of where I should go. In South Africa the Lord told me to start a fundraiser. I was petrified because I knew I’d be exposing myself to judgement. To my surprise, people I met long time ago gave to my ministry. I wasn’t sent out by a church nor had any supporters, I was simply listening to God’s voice.

My purpose was to go –

  1. Gather the lost sheep, wherever they were. On a bus, train, airplane, hostel, restaurant, bar, club. They were specific individuals on God’s heart. They were either not Christian or people who had walked away from God and believed that they were no longer under grace as God should punish them for not going to church. A lot of them were disenchanted and hurt by the church. I would pray no condemnation over them and explain what grace really meant. God also healed my heart while I ministered to people.

One time I was at a restaurant and the Lord told me to pray for a lady. She started crying and said she just found out her sister and friend had cancer.

In another instance, the bus broke down in Fiji and we had to wait by the side of the road for nearly 2 hours. One lady told me her daughter died in child birth.

Another time the Lord led me to pray for a man at the airport and I ended up staying with his family when we arrived. Many times God told me not to book anything and I had to just trust that I wouldn’t be homeless, but that He was leading me to the lost sheep.

One time I was eating at a restaurant and the Lord gave me knowledge that this young man was having problems with his dad. When I told him he was shocked and said that his dad was actually in prison and he was deeply ashamed. The Lord’s love showered this young man to lift off the shame he felt.

Rewind back to 18, I had left a Baptist church I attended for 10 years. It was very legalistic and works- driven. I believed that the more I did for God, the better I was in God’s eyes.

God had to set me free from the religious spirit and religious mindset by telling me to rest on Sundays. This meant I did not go to church but learn to find my identity in Christ alone.

44797795_10161069434970603_3748348736678395904_o.jpg

The anointing and power God has given me did not come from strife, but from learning that I am a child of God and that He finished the work on the cross.

What have been the challenges in starting or maintaining a ministry:

  1. Many times I felt attacked by the spirit of lack. I felt that I was not worthy of the calling or struggled with finances and fundraising. God would tell me to ask people for donations and sometimes I was persecuted for it. Some people said that I should not ask for donations, some people said that I should find a real job and shame tried to attack me and make me feel less than. I wanted to give up a lot. But God kept me going.
  1. The religious spirit in people persecuted me. Some Christians  questioned me because I was not sent out by a church nor an organization and believed that I had no authority or right. They tried to tell me how to minister or what to do.

They judged the form but not the fruit. They could not see the thousands of people that were being changed by the gospel of grace.

The rewards of ministry:

  1. I have seen depressed people come alive after I tell them the truth of being set free from Jesus
  2. Taught people how to hear God
  3. Led people to Christ in hostels and on the streets, even recently at a gym
  4. Discipled people to live in freedom and the truth of righteousness by grace, not by works

If I’m really honest, I’m healing from a lot of the spiritual warfare and attacks from people. Recently my phone got stolen and it was a brand new phone I got as a gift. I was heart broken. On the road, I didn’t have an operating phone for 5 months. Yet, the power of the Holy Spirit was alive in me.

You have the opportunity to invest in the kingdom and partner with me today- Would you consider being a partner? I believe God will multiply every seed you sow because of the harvest on my life. 

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR LOVE, GENEROSITY AND KINDNESS!

I am praying for each and everyone of you.

I have gained so many sisters and brothers on the road and while ministering since July 2018.

Let’s continue praying for each other, we are family.

43429794_10161007081180603_3093545118016208896_n.jpg43823295_10161010471910603_6251401495774756864_n.jpg

In Japan

A man I prophesied over on Lyft

A man I met on the bus. The Lord told me to run after the bus, to get on it, and this man came on. I asked to pray for him and prophesied over him, that he was a prophet and that the Lord was calling Him to the nations.

Prophesying over an Uber driver- God tried to wake me up 3 days in a row, in the middle of the night. And I kept saying NO GOD. Finally at 4 or 5 am one night I got up and took an Uber to Korea town. When the car arrived the Lord told me she was Christian.

FOLLOW PODCAST