Prophetic Word- It’s A Yes & Amen

Yes and Amen

Prophetic Word- It’s A Yes And Amen

I was sitting at home and kept hearing go out to eat, I felt this feeling in my heart even if I wanted to deny it I could not.

I was trying to watch this movie called “When We First Met”. It’s about a guy who goes back in time trying to get the girl he thinks is his one but he actually realizes it is not her. But it all works out at the end. After I watched the movie I got a notification asking for a self tape for an acting project I had submitted for. I was surprised as I haven’t gotten anything for a long time.

I also got a notification that someone was trying to use my Agoda account and had tried to charge something on my old credit card. I also recently tried to use my credit card and today realized I had 2 of the same credit cards in my wallet.

One was old and I had somehow picked it up again thinking it was the new one and “transactions were denied and failed” to my surprise.

Today I destroyed the old credit card when I realized I still had the old one.

I felt like it was very symbolic of destroying old mindsets and beliefs, grief, disappointment, negativity.

That only the new could stay. I also had a dream that my debit card fell onto the floor and I picked it up (picking up your dreams that you layed down). I also had a dream where I told my brother Isaak to take out all the money from the credit card and go to Hawaii with it. I believe it is symbolic of taking out the dreams you’ve stored up to manifest them.

I was reminded of my dream yesterday where I was in Taiwan and I saw 2 kids from a popular Korean TV show (Return of the Superman). In the dream I yelled “my dreams came true!” I also had a dream where I was almost late for my flight out of Taiwan, but I had to run. Taiwan in my dreams usually mean childhood and childhood healings. I felt like God was saying you are graduating and things you’ve been praying for are about to happen.

So I went out and started running. I started to cry when I ate as I felt there were so many things that were delayed. I had just gotten an email to self tape audition for a project. I was tired of disappointments, delays but then when I went to eat, the waiter’s name was “hao”, which means YES in Chinese.

The day before a lady who I did not know gave me $3 and said “amen” 3 times, as in “YES it’s an amen, it is done”. I just passed by her at a bus stop and she suddenly handed me 3 $1 bills. She said nothing but those 3 amens. 

Then today I found this scarf and felt led to buy it. It was $3, it has faces of men on them and a German flag colors, reminding me of where I was born.

Then I felt led to sit near the front of the bus and a lady was on the phone with her husband. I asked “is it your husband?” She said “Yes”.

I felt led to get a boba drink, however, I walked around and could not feel right about any place. I’d stand in front of the cashier and linger. I did not feel it. I’d walk away, I walked away from 2 places and suddenly I thought of this strawberry smoothie. I went there and saw the manager I knew. I had not seen him for a long time (layed down dreams).

I suddenly asked “are you married?” and he said “almost, in one month”.

I felt the Lord say “it’s a YES AND AMEN” to what you’ve been waiting for.

DO NOT LINGER WHEN I CALL, FOR IN YOUR STEPS OF OBEYING THE SPIRIT YOU WILL SEE THE SIGNS of MANIFESTATION.

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MY TESTIMONY

Prophetic Word- Confront The Fear

I woke up this morning feeling really paralyzed, I haven’t washed my hair for 2 days (a rare occasion), my period is coming and I realize I needed help to overcome the fear of punishment/condemnation. There was a situation that I needed to confront with my mother. I find that God uses money the most for me to confront fears. For example, asking her for money. Because that is the biggest source of worry and condemnation in her life.

We struggled with money growing up and God has sent me to live with her to help her break off the spirit and fear of lack. I had always grown up very independent but I never knew my worth as a child. I was ashamed to ask for help and prided myself in being independent.

Prophetic Word- DO THE ACTION THAT WILL CONFRONT THE FEAR 

We ask God to upgrade or promote us, but that means there are more opportunities for the public to criticize you. God will never give you more than what you can handle. Is it easy? HELL NO.
IT’S really hard.

And a big part of me wants to run and hide.

And I do, sometimes. I run and hide and I don’t want to put myself out there to be hurt or judged.

The more we can go to God to mend our wounds, the quicker we can get healed and walk forward.

When we submit to FEAR instead of listening to GOD, AS HARD AS IT IS IN THE MOMENT, we stagnate our progress.

We SO want to be in control, we want to be in a safe place emotionally, ALL THE TIME. We want to be in control of peoples’ reactions, but we can’t control them.

I pray all the time PROTECT MY HEART. But I still get hurt, I get wounded and I don’t want to get up. I want to hide.

“I’m RIGHT HERE” says the Lord.

He never left you nor forsook you.

I’m a safe place, says the Lord.

Today I pray the LORD BREAK OFF THE SPIRIT OF FEAR IN JESUS NAME. The vision I saw was a picture of me in a royal robe, a dress, I am royalty. You are royalty, nothing will phase you. You are deserving and worthy.

Knowing this, Ask God to Go with you to do the ACTION to confront the fear..

+ God may be asking you to confront a person
+ He may be asking you to step out of your comfort zone
Whatever it is, know that God is with you.
#bexprophetic

What is your BIGGEST FEAR? 

Telling people how you actually feel? Asking for help? Emotional, financial or spiritual help? Performing? Marketing yourself? Asking for a raise? Fundraising?

Please feel free to comment below. 

Partner with me today. Consider sowing $50, $100, $200, $500 or more today, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Another way to support is to purchase a shirt. I think I’ve launched this 4 times already. It failed like 4 times. But again, perseverance. Click here to purchase shirts, sweatshirts, t-shirts, tanks in different sizes.

It's so easy to stay small, to stay in our comfort zone, to do what is familiar. But flowing in the wave of the holy spirit means stepping out into the unfamiliar. YES you might hate it at times, but God will always (1)

I have not gone into everything with boldness, I’ve gone into most things feeling the FEAR, feeling the apprehension, but God eases me and says “I’ve got you”. Fear is fake, fear is a skeleton that flaps his hands, he can do no harm.

UPDATE! IN THE LAST HOUR.

My Provision Testimony – 

So I had been worrying about finances as sometimes I’m afraid to move forward or go out as I don’t see a way (in the dream I was telling a friend that there was a deficit I had to pay off from last year) and then God gave me a dream where I was opening books (different books and each one had cash inside) and there was Taiwanese money inside one book, but I had left it somewhere.

In the dream the water in the pool became a slide. The water rose up and went down. And people were sliding down into this safe place.

And then this morning someone who lives in Taiwan sowed a seed. It was the exact amount I saw in the dream.

LOL.
Jesus.

So I don’t know what you are going through, God may not provide everything you need for a month, but He may provide what you need for the day.

Don’t live in fear because you don’t see a way for a few days, if He has given you enough for today, move forward in courage and live your life flowing with the Holy Spirit.

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Love Letter From God- You Are A Child

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Dear Child,

You know how kids run around? They throw tantrums, they draw on the wall, they fall and run, they spill juice? I want you to be like that. I want you to freely talk to strangers and not be afraid of judgement or rejection. You are free. You are wild. Be that. Now I am setting you free from many fears that you’ve accrued in your life.

You got rejected by a class mate, you tried to be friendly to someone on the street, they yelled at you. You became afraid, you tried to hide. 

You were betrayed by friends, you failed math or chemistry, you started to feel like a failure. You could never meet your parents’ expectations, life wore you down and you kind of just gave up. 

Well, I want you to know that you are perfect in my eyes, run around again- Like that free kid. 

And maybe you never got that kind of childhood, but I’m teaching you now. Hey you have freedom to be a child. I will never yell at you. I will never criticize you. I will only pick you up when you fall. I will give you a hug and say “I love you, I’m so proud of you for trying, I love those drawings on the wall.

I’m not concerned about the dirt on your pants or the dirt in your hair, keep climbing trees freely. I’m not concerned about the couch, it’s just a couch. Jump freely on it.

I know they told you you had to sit still in church, but you can dance if you want.

I know there are times for discipline as a good father disciplines his children, but not in the way of judgement or condemnation, I will love you to me.

You are not all knowing, and that’s okay. You didn’t know that you would get hurt or that you would get into an accident, that’s okay. Keep living in freedom, don’t be afraid to try again. Your parents said “you should’ve known” but you didn’t. You were just living in freedom.

My children know their identity and they are free. Maybe you don’t feel like a child sometimes, maybe you are afraid to fail, maybe you are afraid of rejection, but do you know that I love you so much? 

It doesn’t matter that they reject you, you are so loved by me. I have so much love for you.

Come to me and come walk with me. I’m always by your side, I have never left you. Why do you think that I left you when all this time I was by your side? I am not people that I should leave you. There are times and seasons and not everyone is supposed to be there at all times, life is complex and there are seasons people need to move on and you need to move on from them too.

And that’s okay, because you will make new friends.

Children do whatever they feel like, they don’t sit there waiting for their dads to tell them what to do, they live in freedom. 

Of course I will guide you through your desire, I will give you directions to lead you to great things because I can see things ahead of you. But these are not instructions to limit you but to surprise you, to bless you. 

These are instructions to guide you so we keep walking with each other as you learn to trust me continually, you learn my character, you learn that I am reliable, that I am trustworthy.

I will never force you to do something you don’t want to. But as you trust and walk with me, you’ll see my heart of love for you. 

You are walking in your true identity as a child of God. You need nothing else. It’s so much fun, let’s also have fun together. Let’s break barriers and let’s go on adventures. 

You are enough, you’ve done enough, you are perfect in my eyes because of Jesus sacrifice. You don’t have to do things you don’t like anymore.

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To partner and give- thank you for your love and support. I could not have done it without your support this year. Thank you to the friends that I call family now. I love you all, Rebekka.

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

My Testimony

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Dearest Friend,

Here’s my year end support letter and testimony. I have come a long ways, the Lord sent me out July 2018 and I have gained many brothers and sisters in Christ. I thank you for those that have continued to pray and support me when you can.
Let’s just say it has been an uphill battle. The battles were the religious spirit, tradition, persecution, warfare, yet at the end of all this I can say Jesus has comforted me and shown Himself faithful.
I have become much bolder than before. There was so much shame attached to asking for financial support in my ministry, because in Asian culture it’s not seen as “upright” and since I had to start my own ministry, the uphill road was windier and harder….to believe what God says about me is true was even harder because there was very little encouragement from other people. I had to go off of what He said and simply obey.
I can honestly say I cried everyday for 2 years. If I didn’t cry that day I was probably having to pray in tongues because the warfare was so intense.

Thank you for those that have prayed for and invested into the kingdom through me this year. I have seen many set free from condemnation and brought into God’s kingdom. Still, there is more work to be done, not from a place of strife or lack, but a place of abundance and rest. God is situating me in Hollywood to set people from from being orphans, into sonship. I am going back into Hollywood and God has given me a continual heart for the LGBT community and creatives. 

Would you consider giving a year-end gift? My goal is to raise $2020 to bring in the new year.

Thank you for your generosity and love.

Everyone that is connected to me is my family, and I pray for each one of you. Become a financial partner today-

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

May God multiply every seed you sow. God has told me that there is a great harvest on my life and everyone who sows into me will reap greatly.

 

Rebekka’s Story

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I heard the Lord say “Tell your Story”. I had a dream I was crossing over but didn’t know if I should go over land or air and I was wondering if I should tell the girl I was with my story.

So here goes:

I was born in Hamburg, Germany. My parents divorced when I was 8. I moved to Taiwan when I was 5 and then to LA when I was 8. Growing up I just remember feeling really alone and isolated. I spent a lot of time journaling and playing under the table. We had a lot of financial struggles growing up because my mother was a single mom. Early on, I felt depressed and felt like I was always lacking, that I was never enough because I didn’t have an ideal family background. I couldn’t feel God’s love all the time because my dad’s love was not present. I did not see my dad or talk to him for 10 years, then every 3 years I’d see him if I’d visit Taiwan.

At the age of 12, I received Jesus into my heart. I felt God’s tangible love and fell to my knees, weeping. After that I started to hear God’s voice. People at my church thought I was crazy and tried to refute me with the Bible. I kept looking for approval and validation from people because I wanted to be loved for who I was, but it was never enough.

In 2011, I quit my full time job and pursued what the Lord had put on my heart. I started teaching piano, cello, sewing, selling jewelry, clothes, real estate, and acting etc. I’d put down something if it didn’t bring my joy or allow the Holy Spirit speak to me about what to pursue, but  eventually in 2015 after sitting in a hostel room in Spain, the Lord told me to quit my career in real estate. I felt so much joy with just a bag, I didn’t have much but I felt free. I returned to LA and the Lord told me to sell everything and follow Him. It was difficult and every week I surrendered something, whether it was an ex boyfriend, a friend, or my possessions.

At one point I had $200 and was late on rent and the Lord told me to give it. He said “whose house are you building, yours or mine?” So I proceeded to be late on rent for 2 months after I surrendered what I had. My friend said I was overcoming the fear of men (people, authority) and the fear of death (deadlines). It’s called dead for a reason.

At this point everyone thought I was crazy except a few close friends. I had to block a few relative members from coming into my life because I was being persecuted by them.

The Lord led me to move back home. It was a studio and I had to sleep on a couch pull out and sleep in the same room as my mother.

I didn’t understand it but God told me to stop working for 2 years. I had been working since I was 8 years old. How could I stop? Yet, in resting I started to understand what it really means to be a child of God.

It means that you receive from God what you did not work for. It means you have been adopted by God, and you no longer strive in your flesh, but learn to walk in the Spirit. You trust God as your provider, not what you see or have in the moment. His voice becomes everything.

My mother would still accuse me of not working or being useless, but every time I’d say out loud “I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus”.

Before I’d try to tell her that I was working for God, but then I realize that was also trying to prove my worth through works. I had tried to prove how worthy I was through my accomplishments all my life, through grades, through my career, through my looks, through what I possessed. But  now God had stripped me of everything so that I can “boast in GRACE alone”.

In 2018, God told me to go to Taiwan. I had $20 at that point. I cried in my mother’s car thinking “how am I going to survive”. Rewind back to 2015, the Lord told me “you’re a pastor to lost sheep”, I asked God “how will I survive?”, He said “I will provide”.

I went to Taiwan thinking I was going to live with my dad for a year and then God told me to go to Korea after a month of being in Taiwan.

My ministry started in a hostel (a dorm room of 10 beds), praying and prophesying for young people who had no knowledge of Jesus. I prayed for a Muslim girl’s stomach to heal at a barbecue restaurant, we walked around as I started to tell her my testimony. Since then I’ve ministered to thousands of people and God led me to Korea, Japan, South Africa, China, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Australia, Samoa, Australia, Fiji, New Zealand, India….

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I went into New Zealand with a one way ticket. Actually I went into most countries with a one way ticket because God hadn’t provided for the next place yet. I went into South Africa with $20 and a credit card. I didn’t know where I was going but God would tell me (or give me a sense) of where I should go. In South Africa the Lord told me to start a fundraiser. I was petrified because I knew I’d be exposing myself to judgement. To my surprise, people I met long time ago gave to my ministry. I wasn’t sent out by a church nor had any supporters, I was simply listening to God’s voice.

My purpose was to go –

  1. Gather the lost sheep, wherever they were. On a bus, train, airplane, hostel, restaurant, bar, club. They were specific individuals on God’s heart. They were either not Christian or people who had walked away from God and believed that they were no longer under grace as God should punish them for not going to church. A lot of them were disenchanted and hurt by the church. I would pray no condemnation over them and explain what grace really meant. God also healed my heart while I ministered to people.

One time I was at a restaurant and the Lord told me to pray for a lady. She started crying and said she just found out her sister and friend had cancer.

In another instance, the bus broke down in Fiji and we had to wait by the side of the road for nearly 2 hours. One lady told me her daughter died in child birth.

Another time the Lord led me to pray for a man at the airport and I ended up staying with his family when we arrived. Many times God told me not to book anything and I had to just trust that I wouldn’t be homeless, but that He was leading me to the lost sheep.

One time I was eating at a restaurant and the Lord gave me knowledge that this young man was having problems with his dad. When I told him he was shocked and said that his dad was actually in prison and he was deeply ashamed. The Lord’s love showered this young man to lift off the shame he felt.

Rewind back to 18, I had left a Baptist church I attended for 10 years. It was very legalistic and works- driven. I believed that the more I did for God, the better I was in God’s eyes.

God had to set me free from the religious spirit and religious mindset by telling me to rest on Sundays. This meant I did not go to church but learn to find my identity in Christ alone.

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The anointing and power God has given me did not come from strife, but from learning that I am a child of God and that He finished the work on the cross.

What have been the challenges in starting or maintaining a ministry:

  1. Many times I felt attacked by the spirit of lack. I felt that I was not worthy of the calling or struggled with finances and fundraising. God would tell me to ask people for donations and sometimes I was persecuted for it. Some people said that I should not ask for donations, some people said that I should find a real job and shame tried to attack me and make me feel less than. I wanted to give up a lot. But God kept me going.
  1. The religious spirit in people persecuted me. Some Christians  questioned me because I was not sent out by a church nor an organization and believed that I had no authority or right. They tried to tell me how to minister or what to do.

They judged the form but not the fruit. They could not see the thousands of people that were being changed by the gospel of grace.

The rewards of ministry:

  1. I have seen depressed people come alive after I tell them the truth of being set free from Jesus
  2. Taught people how to hear God
  3. Led people to Christ in hostels and on the streets, even recently at a gym
  4. Discipled people to live in freedom and the truth of righteousness by grace, not by works

If I’m really honest, I’m healing from a lot of the spiritual warfare and attacks from people. Recently my phone got stolen and it was a brand new phone I got as a gift. I was heart broken. On the road, I didn’t have an operating phone for 5 months. Yet, the power of the Holy Spirit was alive in me.

You have the opportunity to invest in the kingdom and partner with me today- Would you consider being a partner? I believe God will multiply every seed you sow because of the harvest on my life. 

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR LOVE, GENEROSITY AND KINDNESS!

I am praying for each and everyone of you.

I have gained so many sisters and brothers on the road and while ministering since July 2018.

Let’s continue praying for each other, we are family.

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In Japan

A man I prophesied over on Lyft

A man I met on the bus. The Lord told me to run after the bus, to get on it, and this man came on. I asked to pray for him and prophesied over him, that he was a prophet and that the Lord was calling Him to the nations.

Prophesying over an Uber driver- God tried to wake me up 3 days in a row, in the middle of the night. And I kept saying NO GOD. Finally at 4 or 5 am one night I got up and took an Uber to Korea town. When the car arrived the Lord told me she was Christian.

FOLLOW PODCAST

 

 

What To Do When You Feel Rejected By Your Parents

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“I feel like I can’t come home”- I said.

“Why?”- my mom said.

“It’s because you give me a look like I did something wrong, and then you accuse me”.

I spent many days out all day until night time.

I felt like a homeless prophet.

When I went to Korea, I realize I actually really wanted to go home but I felt like a burden. I called my friend and told her.

Everyone I met in Korea felt sort of estranged, and needed to be comforted. I ministered to young people who felt orphaned and estranged, homeless. One girl wanted to go back to Eastern Europe but whenever she went home, her mother would yell at her. The pain is too real. She decided to get a one year visa to work in Korea. 

So I felt like I couldn’t face the pain. God started to tell me to tell my mother the truth. The truth being…simple things like I don’t like it when you wash vegetables in the sink, without a bowl because I get really grossed out and can’t eat the food.

I used to just let things go but I realize I wasn’t being honest with her about things.

God’s been telling me to go out to eat a lot and a part of my mind will think in lack, but God would say “follow your heart”. My mom would yell at me for eating out, she’d tell me it was unhealthy and a waste of money.

For some reason I met a lot of nice strangers outside of home. 

If I didn’t listen to God, I’d probably be living on my own. I lived on my own for a few years and then God told me to move back home. 

When I was living alone I felt like an orphan, I was isolated and often sat drinking a beer with a microwave plate. I binge watched netflix and felt emotionally constipated. I had a boyfriend for a while but he wasn’t Christian so God eventually told me to break up with him. I felt like I was undeserving of any financial help and my mother was never the type I would tell my emotions to. 

I had freedom to do whatever I wanted, but again, I had an orphan mentality. 

Essentially I lived like an orphan and I felt like I had no parents. My dad had been well out of the picture and he lived in Taiwan.

But my heart was longing for home. I found comfort in God….and then God told me to move back home. For awhile my mother started giving me money and it was the first time I got money from her. I felt ashamed.

I was in my late twenties.

Then the guilt trip started coming.

“You’re almost 30, you should have a goal in life”.

“You should be ashamed of yourself”.

I mean there’s hundreds of accusations that came. Most of it was because she didn’t understand my ministry and she didn’t understand why God would tell me to rest, she wanted to see tangible results of my life.

If God didn’t tell me to get a job, I wasn’t going to get one and go outside of HIS PLANS to prove my mother wrong.

I’m a prophet who sets people free from condemnation, but here I was getting condemned by my own mother. That is why I have the anointing to break off the spirit of lack, because it’s a daily thing with me. 

My goal is always to follow Jesus’ voice first and foremost, not to please my mother, or anyone else. 

But she wouldn’t understand that, not right now anyway.

And a lot of people wouldn’t understand that.

The feeling of being misunderstood, accused and rejected is real though. Sure, she is a Christian, but her life is practical, pragmatic, logical.

In 2015 I moved back to my mother’s house. Then in 2018 God told me to go overseas and minister, relying on Him to provide for me. Since then I’ve helped thousands of people break free from shame and condemnation and understand their identity.

Yet, the enemy did not waiver in trying to attack me with accusations.

In late 2019 God sent me home and I thought God would allow me to move out right away, but no, He didn’t.

That’s where it started to hurt, the accusations started coming again.

No matter how much I tried to explain how I’m helping people, how I have these dreams, how I prophesy or even explain how Jesus can heal her, it’s like speaking to deaf ears. 

I realize, again, a prophet is not welcome in her own home.

And that it’s not my job to convince her. And I need to be okay with that. I need to know from the bottom of my heart how much I am loved by God. But I need to be okay with the fact that she may never understand.

And it’s not my job to convince her, it’s God’s job to heal her heart.

I was eating tacos by the street when a man pushed a baby cart appeared…it was a 6 month old baby, she was so cute.

I heard God say “I want you, I’ve always wanted you and you are not unwanted. You are precious to me”.

I don’t know who you are but I want you to know that-

You are precious. You are special. You are loved by God. He died on the cross for your sins and thought of you on that day. He is your loving Father, He is your provider and protector.

“I love you so much. You are not forgotten, you are the apple of my eyes”.

I tried really hard to tell my mother how I feel, but she immediately shuts down, she doesn’t want to talk about emotions. Maybe because it hurts too much.

I don’t really know how to talk about emotions with her either, but I’m trying.

Last of all-

You are enough in God’s eyes.

And if you need to cry, let it out, feel the pain, for God will comfort you.

If we define our identity by anything we can accomplish, it’s not grace.

Grace says you are a child of God because of Jesus’ sacrifice, not of our own works.

I would like to sow a gift-
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien
https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Thank you for your support and love.

Prophetic Word- Let Go of Control & Trust Me

PROPHETIC WORD –

LET GO OF CONTROL AND TRUST ME!

Whenever we make SOMETHING, SOMEONE a “need”, we are living out of a spirit of lack, we don’t believe we are enough RIGHT NOW. 

1. Witchcraft stems from fear, which makes you try to control the future through any means (holding onto what you can control, holding onto things God told you to let go, trying to make things happen in your flesh, holding onto a past word and not being present).

2. When we are afraid to take risks, it’s because we are afraid to let go of control, it stems from fear.

3. Relationship with God vs. Witchcraft (trying to make things happen through your flesh)

YOU’RE A CHILD OF GOD, YOU ARE SPECIAL IN MY EYES! YOU ARE ENOUGH AND NOT LACKING!

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When Life Disappoints- Look Up

from coming

“Oh this restaurant is packed” said the handsome man with white socks and sandal.

I mean those sandals, but anyhow he was cute. I suddenly felt light.

Then he walked around the restaurant and walked to his Asian girlfriend. Why do I note the race, I think he was filipino but I mean, I was another Asian girl.

I felt, a little bit depleted. It’s been a few weeks since I met a semi- nice guy but turned out he had issues. I have issues too, sure. But issues I did not want in a husband, so I knew he wasn’t my husband. 

But still, I was disappointed. 

And guess what? I applied for a reality show for dating, I thought, okay let me give it a try. It’s for next summer. I tried applying for it last summer but I was too late.

But God I might meet my husband before next summer right? Anyhow, let’s just try.

The reply was “oh we are looking for 30 and under”.

I thought, “holy crap, I’m too late, I am one year too late”. My mind started spinning, and all of those acting parts are looking for 30 and under. And my chin for some reason is growing. I accidentally opened up an old youtube video of me. 

I’m thinking “gosh I was so confident, what false confidence, I was totally lying”.

But oh I was so skinny and attractive. No lie, these are my thoughts and I know that these are the enemy’s words. But still I hear them, and then I get insecure.

When these situations in life happen you start shutting down, it’s like LEVEL 1 SHUT DOWN, 2, and so forth and before you know it you’re walking around Ross putting stuff in your cart, then throwing them out and not buying anything because it’s not REALLY something material you need but something emotional you’re looking for, and nothing IS RIGHT. And you just walked around for 1 hour looking for that emotional support.

So I finally went home and journaled.

I wrote down-

“God I feel like you don’t care about me”. 

I think when disappointments happen in life, you want “circumstances” to work out the way you want them to work out…..

  1. If only I’d find my life partner
  2. If only I get on this tv show
  3. If only I go to this new place

But those are lies….

Because God is enough for me.

“You know I love you…

You know I care about you.

You know you are the apple of my eye.

Let me romance you. 

I’m here for you. You’re not alone”.

I wrote “I saw a cute guy today, he smiled at me and it turns out he had a GF. When will it be my turn God”.

If I sound desperate maybe it’s because I waited a long ass time for a life partner. I’m even waiting to have sex.

Sometimes we look at life the wrong way. We think that life is about achieving an ultimate goal or getting something, even finding a life partner…but it’s about how we see ourselves. It is knowing how much God loves us as we are, right now (not tomorrow). 

THIS IS HOW I FEEL GOD. I’m disappointed ☹️ . But I’m going to trust that YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. I’m GOING to trust that you have the BEST IN MIND for me.

I had a dream I was carrying a backpack full of art supplies and these young people came to draw and use the tools I gave them.

Here it is….

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE NOT LACKING”.

“I closed the door because I want you to MOVE FORWARD- DON’T LOOK BACK” 

You are not excited for that because my grace is no longer on it. 

If I’m honest I was reading way too many websites of entrepreneurs that seemed WAY ahead of me, I was watching youtubes of prophets who had thousands of followers while I have like 25, but God bless those 25. It’s The Bex Show if you want to google it, I don’t have the strength to find it right now.

Wherever YOU ARE, you are enough. 

Don’t compare where you are with other people, that’ll only lead to depression (seriously).

Breathe in and out.

Cry if you have to.

You may not be in the same season as someone, but here’s what I know…..You are exactly where you need to be. 

“Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for His miraculous power constantly energizes you.” (Eph. 3:20, TPT)

If HE HAS CLOSED A DOOR IT MEANS A BETTER ONE IS GOING TO OPEN! 

Prophetic Word: November 14, 2019-

“MY CHILD It’s NOT OVER YET! The enemy has been fighting hard so you would be discouraged, the enemy wants you to focus on your circumstance but LOOK AT ME, focus your eyes on me. Don’t let your head spin, I am here protecting you, I have plans to flourish you, I have not forgotten you. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hey don’t look back anymore. Don’t even doubt that relationship. Go forward into my arms. Yes I know it’s hard to let go but I am enough for you. It’s time to move out. Do you know that I am enough for you? Will you trust me? My love is overpowering, overwhelming and more than enough.” 

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May this song bring comfort to your heart.