God Closes Doors To Protect You From People Who Don’t See Your Worth

 

God closes doors and opportunities to protect you from people who don’t see your worth
This VIDEO will change your life and how you VIEW REJECTION!

I have BEEN rejected so many times in my life. In fact, my elementary and middle school years were riddled with bullying and rejection. This continued on in my life as I was different wherever I went. I didn’t realize it was because of the light in me, my refusal to compromise my values and who I am.

I hope this video will change your life and how you view rejection. I know it hurts but when you see the light shinning in you, you’ll realize, GOD LOVES ME THE WAY I AM and HE CREATED ME THIS WAY FOR A PURPOSE! 

Be grateful when God hides you. “I know you have glory on you, but I don’t want the wrong people to see it and take advantage of it. They won’t cherish you, they won’t celebrate you, they’ll scheme and misuse you!” says the Lord.

Be grateful when God hides you because He WANTS YOU TO SEE YOUR WORTH before anyone else does so that YOU WILL KNOW how to negotiate for what you are worth when the time comes….you won’t settle LOW or SELL YOURSELF SHORT for the glory that is in you. 

Be grateful when God hides you because He is waiting for the RIGHT people and opportunities to open their eyes to you so that your anointing won’t be tainted by the greed and selfishness of the wrong people. 

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It’s Time To Leap

God is breaking off disappointments that are preventing you from believing the best is to come.

As you can see I mention that I was very hurt and bruised from rejection and accusations from people. God had me in hiding for awhile as I healed from those deep wounds, this is often called the wilderness season. 

REJECTION, HURT AND DISAPPOINTMENT often causes you TO SECOND GUESS YOURSELF….like “maybe I shouldn’t have drank milk tea today” (aka me today because I totally got heart palpitations and I’ve quit caffeine for a year now) or “maybe I shouldn’t have wasted 2 years of my life with my ex-boyfriend” (aka many people I know, plus me)….BUT I FEEL LIKE EVERY SINGLE EXPERIENCE WE HAVE teaches us WHAT WE WANT and DON’T WANT. 

None of our experiences are wasted. Even when we keep going back to our old ways, we will eventually see we don’t want the old thing. God is gentle enough to guide us in our stubbornness.

You haven’t got what you want because you keep saying YES to the old thing. It’s time to say no to what we don’t want so we can say yes to what we truly want. 

That is why God is breaking off cycles that keep us in bondage.

That’s besides the point.

The point is NOW IS THE TIME TO LEAP, TO REALIZE IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT that you got hurt. Life hurts sometimes, but since none of us are perfect, we tend to hurt each other, sometimes unintentionally. 

And also in whatever state of wisdom we were in, we tend to make decisions based on what we know.

And that’s just that, where we were back then. 

But now, you don’t have to second guess yourself anymore.

God has your back, and even if you get hurt again, isn’t that part of life, to feel both pain and joy? 

God doesn’t want us to live in a box, safely….God wants us to be able to dig into life with our whole heart. 

As SPONTANEOUS as my life seems, I’m actually a very orderly person. I like to sleep between the hours of 10pm-11pm. I do NOT like to stay up late and I do not like alarms. I wake up naturally.

But in this season I wonder why I need to reserve my energy so much? Was it fear that had me sleeping so on time all the time? Fear that I wouldn’t have enough energy? Fear that I wouldn’t be enough?

In Christ all things are possible.

We don’t have to play it safe anymore. We can dig into life and know that Jesus is sufficient for us, that we don’t need to have some kind of “savings account for our heart”. 

Life, energy, provision, joy, hope, health never runs out in Jesus.

We can be sure to lean on God and know that He will supply where we lack, because He already paid for our insufficiency. In His eyes, your account has an over payment, forever and forevermore. 

Don’t be afraid to step out and take the leap, to make “mistakes” because in God’s eyes there are no mistakes, only steps into more miracles.

Prayers (say out loud): 

  1. Forgiveness towards self– “Dear God, today I forgive myself for allowing myself to get hurt. It wasn’t my intention and it traumatized me so much I was not able to move forward. Please break off any disappointments in my heart and remind me that You are a good God, that what you have for me is the best and that you will never leave nor forsake me. Thank you for forgiving me first so I can forgive myself. In Jesus name Amen.”
  2. Prayer of Courage– “Dear God, thank you for releasing me from the past. Today I release anything that isn’t for my highest good, this includes disappointment, bitterness, offense, anger, hurt, people who I know I don’t want to associate with anymore, etc. I break off the spirit of foreboding and pray that you plant in my heart a new joy, a new song, a new hope. I now boldly walk forward because I know you are with me. I am enough in Christ Jesus. In Jesus name, amen.”
    It's Time To Leap.

A Queen/King Honors Her Emotions & Boundaries

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One of the worse things I experienced in life was having a trusted person betray me. It wasn’t that she did anything wrong, she said something really wrong. She dishonored my emotions (and me) during a time when I was going through a really hard time which was caused by one of her family members.

I had a dream where God showed me why I was feeling so shut down.

She belittled the hurt.

And I think that’s why it’s so important we allow children to cry and express anger, hurt. EMOTIONS ARE IMPORTANT. They tell us that our boundaries have been crossed. 

I didn’t think it – but subconsciously, I felt helpless. I felt that even my best friend was against me since she of course sided with her family. The people around me felt like I was being melodramatic and I didn’t know how to describe the hurt and the betrayal.

I felt alone and helpless. I felt angry and betrayed.

After that, I subconsciously shut down my emotions because people didn’t understand them anyways, because it didn’t get anything done, because the person closest to me brushed it aside.

It’s okay, I don’t need to be understood.

During that time I found my true friend, someone who really honored my emotions and could also tell me the truth.

But my heart felt cold and frosty for a long time.

That’s why when my heart suddenly started to melt, it was painful. I can feel the pain now, I can feel now.

“I was dishonored, disgraced, humiliated for your sake”- says the Lord. “I know how that feels, betrayal”. 

When I started to shut down my emotions, I started to sometimes under eat or over eat. I didn’t know when I was full or sometimes hungry. I was so detached from my emotions that I couldn’t even understand what my body was telling me.

I learned that I escaped painful emotions by eating sweets. 

I learned that I used logic and my mind to figure out what wasn’t working instead of going through experiencing the emotions. 

Yesterday this mentally unstable lady on the street demanded I give her my water and I did, at first out of good will, but then got angry at her for taking my water because I was really thirsty.

I forgave her in my heart but decided not to randomly give my water away. She could have gone to in and out to get water. I turned around and saw she had dumped the water on a bench. Next time I will speak loudly for myself. No.

I’ve been watching “The Return of Superman”, a Korean show about dads raising their kids and what I started noticing is that kids are raised to share because it’s a “kind thing to do”.

But kids are rarely taught boundaries.

I was not taught boundaries. I felt like things were easily taken from me, things I loved. In this way, I did not know how to protect and keep things I loved. I allowed people to step over me and didn’t know how to speak up for myself because this was illustrated to me in my family.

I was even taught this in church. Sacrifice.

But no one taught me that because Jesus already became the sacrifice that I didn’t need to be the sacrifice in my life. I didn’t need to be crucified everyday. 

I don’t think martyrdom is what Jesus wanted.

I think He wanted us to know what He died for us to have, to be, to live. 

I think we are in an age where we need to know who we are and push back the darkness that surrounds us. We can’t just take it. That’s not okay. 

We need to stand up and speak up. We need to rise and protect our boundaries.

People tell me that I’m so bold and self-loving. 

But that wasn’t always the case. I was the quiet, obedient Asian girl that people expected me to be. Now when I shout, the whole building can hear me. 

It’s because I know who I am and what I deserve now.

A queen seated on high.

 

Love Is What You Are.

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I wasn’t going to write but my back started itching and it started itching behind knees too. My body is very reactive when I try to block emotions or something I really need to or want to do. Sometimes it’s the “I don’t want to deal with it right now” in me that blocks creativity because creativity is, well confronting and emotional. But you never know what will come.

This morning I had a revelation:

“You will not be defined by your career, work, your friends, your parents, your history, your accolades, your accomplishments, your house, your car, your clothes, your makeup, your speech….you will be defined as love“. 

Love is what you are. 

When you are love, you don’t have to force yourself to serve to show love or be loved, you are love.

You do things out of love because you are pure and untainted love. Thus, you will also choose not to do things that you don’t love or that causes your heart to weep.

There is no guilt or shame, just love.

So then why do we struggle?

We struggle because we do not accept that God loves us unconditionally – because we have been taught by society and perhaps our parents that “love is earned“.

If you don’t clean your room, you won’t get to eat.

If you are not a good girl, mommy won’t give you stickers or toys.

There always seems to be a condition to love and love seems like a business transaction if you grew up that way. A trade, that is what love seems to be in our world. 

There must be a better way- unconditional love.

That seems impossible, not impossible if you accept unconditional love from God. If you continue to receive this love, your heart will expand and cause you to love in impossible ways. 

I have forgiven myself when all I wanted to do was continue punishing myself.

I have forgiven people that hurt and wounded me in deep ways.

These were impossible things to me, but God opened my heart.

He has continued to show me that His love is unconditional, unending, restful and beautiful. 

If we look at Jesus, He wasn’t defined by people. He wouldn’t even allow people to label Him or force Him to be something He wasn’t because it was not His time yet-  “Then Jesus, realizing that they were about to come and make Him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by Himself.” John 6:15.

He walked the earth as love. Knowing who He was, He didn’t need people to applaud Him or tell Him who He was, He knew who He was. He didn’t need people to like Him, in fact He was rejected by most and He continued to love even the haters.

That is radical love.

Love is what you are. 

You need not prove yourself, defend yourself, force yourself. You are love, that is what you are. 

In a world of self-promotion, don’t you think living as pure love will naturally attract the right people?

When we serve to be loved or to love, we are acting out of lack and a half empty cup. 

But when we know that we are love, we live out of abundance and an overflowing cup. 

The Father’s Love Will End Your Search for “Enough”

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For many of us, we are taught that “one day you will be enough”.

One day when you find your prince charming and get married, then you’ll be enough (because someone wants you and find you valuable).

One day when you establish your career and make a lot of money, then you’ll be enough (because your worth is defined by the commas in your account).

One day when you contribute to the world by doing philanthropic work, then you will be enough (because your worth is defined by how much you give to the world).

One day when you move out and become independent, needing no one, then you’ll be enough (because you are born a burden to your parents and you are NOT enough when you are born).

All of those, a lie.

Because the search for enough is never ending in this world’s system, if you choose to live in that realm of reality. 

The search ends when you accept and believe that God has made you enough, that you are whole because Jesus took the place for your “not enough” and credited to your account who He is- perfect and “enough”. 

You are, perfect and enough in His eyes. 

There is something settling about finding your place in God’s embrace, when He speaks over you “you are enough”.

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Even though your parents, your surroundings, your peers might not find you to be enough, you sink deeper into His unending “enough”. There is an overflowing enough where your burdens are light and your responsibilities little.

All He has called you to is to rest and allow your burdens to become His.

Those burdens seem to vanish quickly, sinking into His love.

Why is it that many of us are cute and unconditionally loved when we are children, but when we grow up it seems that love is limited? 

Because people encounter disappointments after disappointments in their own life…..and they push hopes and dreams on you, hoping that you’ll BE THE ONE to make them happy. 

They hope that MAYBE you’ll give them the hope they need to continue dreaming and living, maybe you’ll be the one to save them.

The truth is only God can do that. Yes, you can give people hope, you can encourage them, but the true responsibility falls to the maker. 

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Who is the only one that knows you intimately, the one who formed you in your mother’s womb. We find peace and relaxation in His arms, knowing that He is taking care of us. Like a baby, we can sleep in peace and wake in peace.

We understand that it is His job to feed us, to nurture us, to protect us. 

But many of us did not grow up that way, so we continue to live in fear. We live like orphans without a daddy. We become independent in the physical and material realm but still hoping that someone will tell us “I’m proud of you”, “you’ve made it”, and “you are worthy of my love”. 

The truth is, no amount of verbal encouragement will ease the pain and void of not enough…only the embrace of the Father…can we find true ease. 

 

“So it’s okay to come out of hiding now, I know you have been through hurts and disappointments.

I know people have failed you, but my love will never fail you. I will guide you and protect you. I will not leave you or forsake you. I will not disgrace or humiliate you. You are safe under my wings and protection. Come out my hidden ones. It is your time to shine. Come out my beautiful children. I am your Father. I will never hurt you. Come out beautiful children of mine, kings and queens of this earth and the heavenly realms”.

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How To Overcome Lack Forever

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I was having a conversation with someone at a sandwich shop today. I asked him what his dream was.

It often comes down to this “………………..but maybe one day, when I win the lottery or something”.

I can tell you that entrepreneurship, saving money, having retirement or having a million dollars in the bank is the way to true happiness, but that would be a lie. 

True happiness is finding stability in the love of God, who is both your Father and your Provider. 

I can tell you I have met people who make $20,000 a month and still live in fear. Because their trust is in money and not in God. 

We always wonder why people in 3rd world countries often seem happier, they don’t have Iphones but they are content; they are happy.

I was on a pathway of accumulating things, trying to be more in the world’s eyes. When God told me to sell everything and follow Him; it was hard. But there I lay at the altar, rent money was late and I had $200. There, God said “give the $200”.

I didn’t want to.

But I heard it loud and clear “whose house are you building, yours or mine?”

I realize that I had been so set on my own goals and dreams (thinking that was what God wanted) that I had pigeon-holed God into my own plans. When I submitted and surrendered that $200, miracles didn’t show up right away. But it was an act of surrender, it was an act of saying “God you first”. 

I went through years and seasons of surrender where I felt stripped away of all that I was and had, but God had something better in mind.

“Identity”. 

The world wants to pigeon-hole you into this identity of lack. People live out of an orphan identity, they feel like they must hustle for everything and if they are not doing anything, then they must force themselves to.

It’s a rat race, for what?

When I started to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, I got things without asking for them. I sat on my throne, I learned my identity as princess and queen in God’s kingdom. 

More than anything, I gained confidence in my God. I no longer constantly feared lack or feared that I had to fend for myself. I did go through trials and extreme testing where I had to lean on God for provision even on my travels. One time I was literally on an island when God sent provision.

My identity isn’t based on what I have or even what I have accomplished anymore, my identity is in the Lord Jesus. He crowned me with glory and because of His death on the cross, He gave me His inheritance. 

What I’ve learned is that HE ABSOLUTELY resources those that seeks to build His kingdom. Are you willing to let go of your own plans and allow the God of this universe to heal you, equip you and empower you to set people free? It is the most rewarding work in this world. 

But more than anything, it’s about being a child of God. God has opened my eyes to spiritual reality and I’m in awe of who I have become because of His work in me.

The Greatest Showman & My Personal Odyssey

Yesterday I was compelled to watch The Greatest Showman. I heard the movie in my mind all day before I watched it.

Who knew it was like a personal revival in my heart. I’ll try my best not to include any spoilers. This post might make more sense if you have already watched the movie.

God breathed powerfully into this movie, into the songs, into the story. It is anointed, I know this for sure.

The arts, media, and movies are indicators and representations of our times. Whatever comes out, whether “good” or “bad” are often indicators of what is happening in our hearts and society. The arts are direct reflections of what humanity is going through, longing for and experiencing in the physical and spiritual realm.

That is why this movie was so reflective of my personal Odyssey and I believe also for many in this world.

As you know I have prophesied that we have been going through birthing pangs in our micro and macro lives but 2018 is the RELEASE of God’s fire in this world. God is releasing those who have been in HIDING (those who have been rejected as well) into the world and I am one of those. I have been in the wilderness season for over 2 years where God was building my inside, my identity. 

During that time I was accused on all ends (like the people who opposed the Barnum circus/museum).  I was not honored or appreciated….and this was also before those 2 years. I was always the outcast and never really fit in.

Like Joseph in the Bible, I experienced imprisonment, rejection by the family and the world around me. I experienced disappointment and hopelessness, losing everything, losing hope and feeling like my dreams would never come true. 

I also experienced a lost of self before the 2 years. I ran and strove after everything I thought I needed (like PT Barnum in the movie) to prove that I was enough. And it took God’s voice for me to loose my grip on everything. In this case, it was like when everything burned down for PT.

And many of you have experienced this…you’ve lost everything and you’ve questioned why. 

You used to have dreams, but the world rejected you.

You used to be proud of your ideas, but after the world laughed at you, you grew ashamed of yourself. Will anyone ever accept me? you ask.

You put your heart out there, gave it your all, but it still wasn’t enough. They left anyway, they treated you like crap.

Every song in this movie is an embodiment of these questions and the answer is “you are enough”. 

There is a moment in the movie where the bearded lady belts out a song, in fierce defiance of what the “elite” thought of her….it’s just powerful, it’s what we need in this world….people who are not ashamed of who they are, people who come out from hiding.

I could relate.

In all the hardships, dejection, rejections, and accusations throughout my life, I often questioned myself. I wondered if there was something truly wrong with me and if I would ever be celebrated for who I was.

There was a part of me that went into hiding because the world was unsafe.

I numbed my emotions and became “even keeled”. I didn’t laugh much and neither did I cry much. I was not reactive to anything that was going on around me. If someone yelled at me, I stayed silent. If someone praised me, I couldn’t really smile. My emotions were constipated. 

Numbing my emotions was my way of protecting my heart. 

That’s why before my big breakthrough, I had to cry a lot first. I had to weep. I had to really let it out.

Crying gave my heart strength. Crying said to my heart “you are worth it, I value you, I value your emotions, I value who you are”.

True strength is REALLY experiencing EVERY emotion that you heart feels.

Because the truth is, it really hurts, it’s painful….but it’s worth it.

Truly living means experiencing EVERY single emotion that life brings your way. We can’t be afraid of our emotions because joy is one of those emotions…and so is pain, disappointment, fear, etc. 

But if we are brave enough, our lives become rich.

I woke up from a dream where I was singing and I could feel the fire of God on the inside of me. I feel my spirit rising and I see the rejected coming out of hiding. 

If you are one of those, know that the hand of God is on you. 

2018 is your year. Mark my words. I have gone through too much to back down now. Though I don’t know the specifics of what 2018 holds, but I know God holds 2018.

I think it’s so interesting that Keala Settle has such a fear of stepping out in real life, because as you watch this video, you feel the strength of her stepping out. May you step out too, the world needs you.

If you have been blessed by this blog and me, consider sowing a seed as you will reap much more than you have sown in good soil. This is GOOD SOIL. “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” Galatians 6:7

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