Knocking Down the Wall of Self-Protection, The Key To An Open Heart & A Full Life

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“How are you?”

“Are you okay? Okay, as long as you are okay”

Well I don’t want to be okay. I want to feel, to experience all levels of emotions.

This morning I woke up from a dream where I could feel my whole being weeping. In the dream, I was experiencing every emotion I’ve somehow neglected to feel, that I’ve managed to numb. Because it’s too much sometimes.

But I woke up, I could feel my whole body shaking as I made weeping sounds and my eyes turned puffy in no time. All the pain started lifting off my body as I experienced the pain in my heart. Though it wasn’t necessarily voluntary and sometimes God needs to show me my true emotions in dreams, I was grateful.

You know what it felt like?

Like when a kid is VORACIOUSLY hungry or tired and he/she cries like the world is ending. I bet you’ve seen it.

I wish we could feel that much all the time. But somehow most of us can’t, we cover up our true emotions by staying distracted. 

We binge eat, drink, smoke, get addicted to a substance, stay numb by netflixing, gaining weight, or losing weight, focusing on what we don’t have and trying to get it, work….complain, blame, escape (hey, how about travel, I know I personally have tried to avoid my emotions by escaping LA), shop or take pills because it’s too much to feel.

But you know when you have A REALLY SOUL WRENCHING cry and then suddenly your body feels lighter? Like a whole slew of burdens have lifted off your shoulders? That’s how it felt. And you know when you give that kid a good meal and they’ve slept….and suddenly they can smile again? Yah that’s how this feels.

Today someone asked me if I was okay. I said “no one’s truly just okay, everyone is going on a journey and some are just not aware of how they are feeling”.

I’m not saying everyone is depressed or going through intense emotions, I’m saying somehow in our society it’s not okay to show vulnerability, to be struggling internally, to have deep emotions. 

It’s okay. To not be okay. I like this journey. I am feeling more emotions, I am feeling the pain and the joy. I am choosing to be alert, to be conscious, to feel deeply. 

I met two men last year that I thought were respectable, honorable, honest men. I thought they would be good candidates for a potential life partner. But when I got to know them a little more, or actually even as I was talking to them I noticed there was a wall. The wall of vulnerability.

The wall that says “I’ve been hurt, don’t get near me”. 

I know I’m still breaking down that wall myself and truth be told, those two men reflected my state of being. You meet people who you reflect. Everyone in your life is a mirror to your own state of being. It doesn’t mean that you are exactly like them, but there is a part of you that is reflected in them. 

That’s why they say “wounds attract wounds”, “you are attracted to like minded people”….so they key to being with the right life partner isn’t so much about fixing the other person, but working within your soul to heal the wounds that attract wounded people.

It doesn’t mean you are insufficient, every part of the journey is worthwhile, but if you are going to spend the rest your life with someone…you want someone on the same level of “healed” and “healing”.

If you want someone to treat you a certain way, learning to treat yourself well is everything.

If you want someone to love you a certain way, learning to love yourself well is everything.

We can’t expect other people to take responsibility for our healing, we must actively seek it out. First, we must open our hearts, that is a personal decision. Second, we forgive, and that’s also a personal decision. 

I know there were times I couldn’t listen to other peoples’ problems because it triggered emotions of my own that I was incapable of experiencing.

The only reason I’m sharing this is because I’m walking it. Healing is not easy, but worth it. I hope you will continue walking with me through this journey- Subscribe on the right side of the blog via email (right side of blog on desktop computers and if you are reading via phone subscribe on the bottom of the blog)! 

Also if you are interested in the forgiveness class that I talked about in my last post, please visit https://hope4hollywood.com/register/

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It’s Time To Burn Bridges- Prophetic Word

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I went through some inner healing today. See, sometimes we get mad at God, or we get mad at ourselves for our past mistakes. We get mad for not knowing how to love ourselves. 

“why the hell did I waste time with that jerk?” – we ask. Or perhaps, we entered into a career opportunity that was beneath us. Perhaps you knew going into something that it was beneath you, but you still went into it. Why do we do that? Because knowing who we are is spiritual and emotional, it’s not mental or logical. 

We tend to THINK we want something, but follow our hearts and our hearts reflect where we are. So you might be broken emotionally and think you want a loving partner, but keep going for the same jackass. It’s because subconsciously you still feel unworthy of true love.

People always say “don’t burn bridges” but I disagree.

There were times in my life where I made decisions based on my inner brokenness. I was so broken inside that those broken pieces determined my choices. And you know what, that’s just part of my life education. You might look back and think “I was so stupid”, but don’t be so hard on yourself. Decision making is part of learning more about who you are and how to love yourself.

You couldn’t have known. You were born into a broken world with broken and imperfect parents. You do get stronger from those experiences though.

But I believe it is time to burn bridges from:

  1. Who you used to be.
  2. Who you used to associate with in your brokenness.
  3. Who you thought you were.

What I mean by burn bridges is to:

  1. No longer regret those decisions, forgive yourself for the decisions you made, and move on emotionally and mentally. Your past experiences are part of your life story, however it doesn’t have to determine your next season.
  2. Cut emotional ties with people who you relied on in your brokenness but know that they are not good for you in this season of your life. It doesn’t mean you have to hate on them or talk smack about them, you can even still be somewhat connected to them on social media but you must cut the soul ties that tie you down emotionally.
  3. Stop putting yourself in a box. Just because you used to operate in one way doesn’t mean you will in the future. It’s a new season, you have changed for the better.

It’s time to move forward. The sacrifice is letting go of the past and what used to give you comfort. You are stepping into unknown territory but God has already prepared the way for you. All you have to do is take a scissor and cut the rope that you keep holding onto.

Let go and breathe.

Schedule of Events!

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This past weekend I got to speak at the California Federation Professional and Business Women’s state conference. I got to room with Crystal, who is a heart disease survivor. Her heart is on the right, yah no kidding. She’s had 8 open heart surgeries and she is one of the most AMAZING AND STRONG WOMAN I KNOW!!! IT was a serious blessing to room with her. We even got to dance at Kbar. She gave me a mexican candy PIKA PIKA (see me eating it above). Then you’ll see a photo of us with our awards. Let’s say we had loads of fun and got to speak to a room full of women who needed motivation.

People keep trying to catch me, but it’s tough to. IF you need a coaching session feel free to email me Rebekkalien@gmail.com, speaking inquiries, email me!

Here is my travel/event schedule: 

Now until May 23- Norcal, staying in Emeryville. Probably will go to SF on Friday.

May 23 Saturday- Back to LA

June 2 Tuesday- Smart Spiritual Sexy “Not Your Stuck Up” Happy Hour Mixer- REGISTER HERE

FB INFO- https://www.facebook.com/events/362937250566234/

Open to the public, FREE RSVP, happy hour specials.

June 4-6 Friday- Sunday- Palm Springs, CA- vacation

June 22- Authenticity Rules, Be REAL, BE YOU SEMINAR in LOS ANGELES – Venue to be announced. Register for early bird rate: (By June 1) – https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=XTJQVBH8ZH7E8

Late June- I will probably be overseas! So while you can, attend my seminar June 22. I may be gone for one month.

Ya’ll can get my ebook here: http://www.Rebekkalien.com/lovemoneywork

People ask me how I’m making income—-> read the book.

P{eace!! XOXO BEX

You’re Invited- Los Angeles June Mixer!

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RSVP HERE! 

Just be yourself.

Who is this mixer for? Anyone who does not believe human beings are supposed to work 9-5 at a boring job, business owners, free thinkers, entrepreneurs, lifetime vacationers, writers, creatives, entertainers, vagabonds, musicians, etc….that’s why suits are not required, we prefer laid back.

Come as you are.

Be yourself and have fun. You might just meet the love of your life or your future bestie or meet collaborators for your business.

Second HAPPY HOUR is AT SAINT FELIX!
1/2 off all Signature Drinks, Beer, & Wine plus $5 food menu.

Uber it! You first $20 ride free! https://get.uber.com/invite/so24w

XOXO,

Rebekka Lien Creator of Smart Spiritual Sexy and How To Make Money Doing What You Love Ebook
Cherelle Tye–Liao – Co-Creator
Get the ebook- www.Rebekkalien.com/LoveMoneyWork

PS- If you have a venue, restaurant, bar, cafe, please contact Rebekkalien@gmail.com, we’d love to have our next event there!

Are You Ready To Live Authentically? Here’s How.

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You are unstoppable, my friend, my mentor, my mom, my ally.

You are unstoppable, only you can determine your destiny. There are angels waiting to disperse at the echo of your words and commitment. Are you committed to being unstoppable? Will you let the challenges of life stop you from your purpose? Will you let momentary afflictions be your stopping point? Will you simply stare at the stop sign that men made, or will you walk across the street. 

Recently I’ve been walking 2 miles plus a day. The stop light in Pasadena is quite relentless. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT the light goes, maybe it’s for the blind, but maybe also for those that need a little reminder that your purpose sometimes makes you wait. It’s unnerving, scary, like what the hell is going on?

But once it squeaks out “walk sign is on”, it’s an okay for you to go, knowing you’ll be safe….

Although I’ve gone through some rough patches recently, not knowing where life will take me, where God is leading me…I’ve held onto rock solid faith…it’s helped me to open up to close friends about what I’ve been going through. From the outside, I’m a fun loving human being doing amazing things, but every hero has a story. Sometimes life gets dark, so dark I started sleeping 12 hours at one point, not necessarily because I was truly resting …but because I was depressed.

I thought too much. I thought about whether my life even made any sense- why did I sell all my furniture, minimalize my life to this extent? Did it make sense that I forsaw myself traveling around the world, living in hotels, airbnb’s, couchsurfing, and making friends while speaking, selling books on autopilot and making bank without doing anything called “work” (but simply being 100% me and being super passionate about telling my story, healing the broken hearted and awakening people to their true identity and dreams)…did all of this even make any sense when my current reality didn’t seem so positive?

But in the midst of crying my heart out to a friend, I realized that it’s all going to be okay. Knowing that I wasn’t the only one struggling in life helped me to see that vulnerability is everything. Without struggles, we wouldn’t need each other to vent to….we truly NEED each other to live in peace, love and hope. When I hear that I’m not the only one, that there are tons of other people on instagram who are building awesome, amazing, life and world changing businesses, I can hope again. I’m not the ONLY one out here living for something MORE. 

MORE

MORE

MORE

MORE

I WANT MORE of life, more of passion, more of freedom, more of love.

I WANT TO SEE change in this world, in my life, in yours.

What’s the MORE you want? 

WHAT ARE YOU HUNGRY FOR? What is YOUR HEART HUNGRY for? 

Be honest, be vulnerable. Until you can pour out your fears to someone, rip open the bandage and show all of that nasty stuff….you’re really living a lie, covering up the little child within. Let it out, you need to be heard, you need to be loved. Once you do that, something magical happens…you’re able to live the authentic life, for the passions and people you truly love. 

What has hurt the most in your life is probably the healing story you’ll be part of in your passion.

So for me…it is healing from growing up with an absent father and learning to trust God for that which I lacked growing up, stability, finance, security, protection. I’m a survivor. I grew up always on guard, my heart was always protecting itself. I was always ready to defend myself, physically and mentally…but deep down, I was scared shitless.

I’ve managed to screw up and self-sabotage areas of my life that could have sprout up. But I don’t live in regret, since that leads to death. No, I live in hope and renewal everyday because everyday is a clean slate. 

My passion and life purpose lies in helping people to identify their broken story and to heal that which they overprotect….the wounds, the nasty stuff under the bandage…the shit that has been rotting under your heart, so deep that no one can get to WHO YOU REALLY ARE. The facade you layer on, the shit you buy to cover who you really are….I know those wounds are there, but do you? You are not going to bullshit me with that nice suit or that designer bag. You are not going to bullshit me with your prized job title, no no no, most people see the outward appearance but God sees the heart.

And well, I see your heart too.

It’s hurting.

So let it out, be real. Until you do that, you can’t receive love….how can you? Until you let someone see those fears, those wounds….you can’t mend those wounds, apply ointment to heal that scab…It’s all covered up. Some of you have done a really good job of that.

Are you ready to live authentically? 

 

Your Heart Desires To Be Set Free

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You heart desires to be set free

To have space, to have freedom to be, to be still and to know all is completed.

All is won and done.

Your heart seeks peace, seeks rest.

Our outward actions are manifestations of where our hearts are at. 

Some hearts need more time and space, some hearts need less, but we all need to nurture the child within, for without it, we’d be simply flesh and bones.

Intimacy scares me, though I thought I gave my heart to a higher cause, there is still self-protection, and self-protection is fear that God will not protect my heart. We live in fear because we think it is safe, but we are compromising our dreams to live in lack. We choose to live in a veil of stability which only becomes a prison. 

In a prison, we are unable to break free by our own will. By divine grace, we are set free.

The only reason I’ve become so mature, wise and deep from self-reflection is because I’ve created boundaries to give my heart time to be, not do. Are you giving yourself a garden to cultivate your deepest thoughts, desires and wisdom? 

FB- Hang out with us on Tuesday!

https://www.facebook.com/events/401134226736076/

Get My Ebook Here: https://payhip.com/b/6zoT

How to Create Your Business Plan for 2015

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Living in divine agenda is very easy. The first thing is to listen, to ask, to listen. 

I create my life everyday based on what I hear. I spend an hour meditating everyday, minimum. These are questions I ask:

“What should I focus on today, what is the divine agenda today?” I try not to wake up with urgencies or the rush to get to something because that derives from fear. Today I hear “focus on yourself” and focus on writing. Why is my life method so different from other people and other life coaches? Because I know that the “ambitious just get it done” life is not blissful, it’s based on duty. I choose to follow my bliss and where there is pleasure, there is profit. Where there is ease, there is life.

I choose very carefully how I spend my time and with who.

As an enlightened highly conscious human being, people try to vent to me. I ask them to consider booking coaching sessions with me. Unless you have entered into my inner circle, I don’t allow you to throw garbage at me, that is part of being a focus, conscious person. If I am running around listening to peoples’ crap all day, I will not have energy to do the divine agenda of the day….and it’s the divine agenda that is most important because THAT is what I will reap from and that will benefit people the most. It’s a win win.

But most people have a hard time saying “no”. That is why you need a divine plan for 2015.

1. First thing is to know your vision.

My vision is to BE, BE authentic to myself and to empower others to live their authentic truth.

2. Second thing is to target your priorities for 2015. 

a. My first priority is to nurture my heart and listen to my inner beauty and health

b. Nurture and feed my inner circle and be nurtured by them- remember people who are in your inner circle understand boundaries and also honor your heart, they aren’t judgmental but also tell you the truth to improve your being.

c. Divine work- Follow my bliss, 1. The arts- acting, writing, creating, books The Bex Show 2. Real Estate- to house and love people. You can get my ebook: How To Make Money Doing What You Love NOW! 

As a direct correlation to a-c, profit flows freely and easily.

3. Live each day according to number 1, vision and 2, what your priorities are. 

When an activity or a friend calls, ask yourself if it aligns with your current state of beauty and health. If you need time to recuperate or to be, say no. If you feel a divine push to go, there may be a divine encounter to be had. Have complete and utter focus but also allow yourself to have fun, because remember there is no profit where there are no pleasures to be had.

You ask, that’s not a business plan….yes, well it’s my business plan. I’ve been an entrepreneur my whole life and I can say that I’ve finally honed my inner knowing. I know when I’m too exhausted to entertain guests, I know when I’m ready to take over a dance floor, I know when my heart is crying for relaxation or adventure. I follow my bliss, but I’m also highly disciplined.

Watch Episode 8- the Divine Hustle, The Divine Play, The Strategic Play in 2015. 

Book A Coaching session with me: Your life will be changed forever.====>>> CLICK HERE NOW. Buy 3 sessions for the Price of 1 (deal ends January 31, 2015)!!!

You can get my ebook: How To Make Money Doing What You Love NOW! 

VISION BOARD WORKSHOP IS THIS SATURDAY!!!  Register Here TO SAVE YOUR SPOT! Located in Pasadena, CA.