Jesus Isn’t Afraid of What People Think

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. -Galatians 5:1

Jesus wasn’t afraid of what others think when He died on the cross for you, naked while people spit on Him, laughed at Him.

Jesus wasn’t afraid of what others think when He defended the prostitute.

Jesus wasn’t afraid of what others think when He put mud in a blind man’s eyes and healed him.

Jesus wasn’t afraid of what others think when He walked away from His friends to spend time with God.

God is challenging me EACH DAY to be bold and to LOVE boldly…whether it’s approaching a couple, total strangers or praying for youngsters who are scared of what people think of them.

Overcoming The Fear of What People Think-
Today I prayed for a few people.
There was a couple and the Lord asked me to pray for them. When I asked to pray for them they said “no it’s okay” and I looked to the wife and she said the same thing.
So I said “The Lord just wants you to know that He hasn’t forgotten you and He will fulfil His promises”.

Then I walked away.

The truth is the Lord is always EXPANDING my courage. I went to the apple store to see if I can afford a phone but they were all above my budget. Then I prayed for the salesperson who helped me. I said “I see you riding a bike and doing twirls”. He said “HM I don’t ride bikes”. I said “step out of your comfort zone and do something you’ve never done before because you are used to routine and like routine but the Lord is with you”.

And he said “wow you are right on the spot”.

There was a lady in Cotton On – I saw Jesus handing her a rose and I said “are you in a season of love?” She said “I just got married!” LOL.

Then at the bus stop I prayed for 2 young girls. I said “I see you laughing and playing”. They laughed “WE LAUGH so much”. But then I said “I saw people scolding you”. They said “YES omg people don’t like us at school”.
I said “keep being yourself and don’t let the haters shade your shine. The Lord made you this way”.

I saw two young man, maybe in high school with skater clothes. I got on the same BUS as them.

ALL OF A SUDDEN HOLY SPIRIT gave me courage and I asked them what their names were. They laughed, they were looking around to see if anyone was watching (fear of men).

I then got up and sat next to one of the guys.

I asked if I could pray for them. Milli said “no but you can pray for him”. So I prayed for Dewey and saw he was skating. I asked if he skated, he said no. I said he will. Then as I was talking to Dewey, Milli said “can you pray for me?” So I did.

I said “I see you drawing”. He said “I do weed, do you?”
I said “I used to” and then we talked about weed. I know. It was real. And then they started to open up more. These young people don’t have good examples or role models.

Dewey even waved back when I waved at him outside the bus. I just felt Jesus within me want to sit with them and not budge. I felt the LOVE of JESUS so strongly to mother/father them. That Jesus DOESN’T BUDGE, even when we are ashamed of Him, even when we are scared to BE SEEN WITH HIM because these boys were looking around scared of what people thought of this crazy lady praying for them.

Give- Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

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God Is Enough for You

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Writing from Perth, Australia- I have been through insurmountable circumstances on my journey, sometimes a sadness sinks in where I miss home, I miss my family. I’ve been away for 7 months and have barely talked to my family. The truth is I know that even the closest family member does not understand kingdom work.

And that’s okay.

I had to process the sadness and just sit with God. 

I could hear Him say “I am enough for you”. 

There are times we throw ourselves at friends, family, new friends, videos, phones, movies, shopping- anything but God.

We long for intimacy with our creator but we turn to everything but God. This journey has forced me to lean into God. 

As much as I love the family I am staying with, I knew this morning that the Holy Spirit was telling me that it was time to move on. You are enough, you are not lacking. My longing for a family or to belong can only be satisfied by God.

I belong to God and God is my family. 

People might understand you and love you, but only the Creator knows you from the inside out.

I wanted to stay here for a month, I wanted to continue in comfort but the Lord said “it’s time to move on, you’ve finished your work here”. My work was to prophesy to the ones I need to prophesy to. And instead of getting a phone with the money my mom gave me to buy a phone, I got a ticket to the next place the Lord was calling me to.

I felt a tinge of sadness. When am I ever going to get a phone?

The Lord asked me “why do you want a phone?”

“So I can have all access at anytime, to my friends and family”.

“I am enough for you”- He says.

He said that I will get a phone soon but then I needed to address the deeper longings. I’ve been officially without a working phone since October (since Japan). I know it seems impossible to travel without a phone but God has somehow made a way. I either borrow peoples’ phones or laptops or like today, I went to Big W (equivalent of walmart) and used their display phone.

I’m not kidding. I booked a flight on a display phone.

All things are possible with God.

Sometimes we think we are lacking something when in fact, we have everything we need to move forward.

That act of faith was in fact a breakthrough moment.

This night my friend told me a sister has decided to sow finances. Sometimes the breakthrough doesn’t come until we take that step of faith. Sometimes we are waiting for God to provide when HE will only provide if you trust Him and act on His word. 

Testimony-
Today I stopped someone at the mall and said “can I pray for you”. She said “how did you know I was lost….in life”.
I said “holy spirit”.
I prayed for her and saw people attacking and accusing her and I said that even so she must follow her heart. That the Lord is with her.

She started crying and said that she just left a broken marriage. That she loved her kids.

I said that she is in a season where she is finding her worth and identity.

On the bus the Lord pointed me to a young woman who had 4 kids. I then prayed for her. I asked her where her parents are and she said she had none, that she was a foster kid. She is 18 years old, has one kid of her own about 2 years old, 3 that are foster kids and she lives with a boyfriend who is 22 and refuses to work while she works.

I don’t even know how my heart can handle these stories but I have to lean in harder into God and focus on the finished work of the cross.

Give- Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

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A Persevering Love

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A family I met in a cafe in Indonesia

I had a dream that I got married to someone God chose for me but I was doubtful that this man knew what I needed or wanted.

There are days where God tells me to pray for people but I withhold my heart because love can be tiring if you are not refueled by God.

Sometimes if we have the wrong view of God, in ministry, it’s easy to start seeing God as a tyrant.

“I am pushing your heart to come out of its cave and have no reserve, to live in the boldness of having an open heart”.

I can’t take it anymore, I have no more capacity to love – I tell God. I have no more boldness or capacity to talk to another stranger, to ask to pray for someone and risk them laughing at me or telling me no or looking at me like I am crazy.

As I write this I feel emotions welling up in my eyes as tears spring forth.

This is living with an open heart.

God is love and if we are to be more like God, God pushes our hearts to expand and to love in ways we cannot possibly love in our own flesh.

Because the truth is it’s all too easy to live l life in solitary confinement, but ministry for the last 7 months on the road, to almost 10 countries, living in 6-12 bed dorm rooms in close proximity to people have forced me to live with an open heart.

The music blasting from a club downstairs, a roommate that snores like guys fighting on the street, hearing the type of stories that make you feel like your heart is being poked out by a sword, it’s not easy to open your heart when you just want to be protected from the world, a world that is damaged, tired and worn out. 

After a few days, you have to cry.

Because you feel like your heart is being stretched like a rubber band and you start to feel numb. 

Today God kept telling me to pray for people and some I did, but I started getting really annoyed. I didn’t know what I was feeling but I said to God – “I feel unloved”.

I felt tired, worn out, exhausted.

There are times (like in the dream), I doubt whether God really knows what He is doing, especially with me.

But after taking a nap, I woke up and prayed for a guy whose leg was injured.

I also thought about how my roommate, when she started talking to someone on the phone with a friend, her face lit up….how we all are humans longing for love and when we feel unloved, we are unable to feel alive.

More than the things in the world, we long for human connection. We want to know that we are loved and appreciated.

And in that moment again I heard God say “you are enough, you are not lacking”.

Part of my thoughts also had to do with lack, feeling so stretched in having to trust God for the finances to go forward to every city. He often provides enough for this city, but then I usually don’t have the finances for the next city.

This kind of faith stretches me, this kind of life makes me trust on a level I never knew I could trust. 

But again His work is finished on the cross, and so I relax into His perfect plan.

Dear God- I won’t doubt you even though sometimes it’s hard to trust you. It’s scary at times, I feel that my heart can’t go on. I reckon this is what marriage looks like, this is what your love looks like. Your love is a love that never gives up. God fuel me right now with your love. I need to know that your love is enough for me and that your grace is sufficient for me. Without you, I cannot do nothing. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. Your love is enough for me. In Jesus name. Amen.

Thank you for those who have been ministry partners and have been sending me out in obedience to the Lord. I pray the Lord protect and bless you. Everyday I am ministering to and praying for people and sharing the love of Christ with them.

Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

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Moving With The Spirit

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“You need a visa to Australia” said the Lady at the airport counter.

I stared at her, “what visa?” (I had been to Australia before but it was in 2011, I didn’t read anything about it so this caught me off guard).

I didn’t have a phone and my mind ran wild of me being stranded or not being able to take my flight.

I turned to the French tourists behind me who I was talking to, “can I borrow your phone?” I had to register for a visa 2 hours before my flight and I didn’t know how long it would take. At first the wifi wouldn’t load, then finally it was loading. 

I exclaimed out loud. “I’ve been there before when I went to Vietnam” she turned out to be a Christian. “Pray for me” I said.

5 minutes later, I registered but the visa didn’t go through yet. I had over $200, if I missed this flight it was over.

Okay let me check. The lady checked “it went through”. I sighed. OMG.

Makes sense why God told me to get up in the morning at 8am. I was groggy and tired from ministering to so many people, my period had just come and I was not feeling it. “Get up!” I heard God say. I’ve heard this many times before. “Go to the airport early”. He knew I would run into this problem, but He also didn’t tell me beforehand so that I could end up praying for the French couple after I used their phone.

Bali, Indonesia 

“I’ve been searching, I grew up Muslim but now I am searching”, said the girl in my room. I told her my testimony of learning my identity in Christ Jesus and from overworking to learning who I am as a child of God.

“Do you want to hear God?”- I asked. She said yes and came to sit on my bottom bunk. I held her hands “Jesus will you speak to her?” We closed our eyes. When I opened my eyes she said “Jesus said ‘it’s okay’ ‘it’s okay'”. I prayed for her. You are enough in Christ Jesus, you are not lacking.

Before this I was telling a Chinese girl about Jesus as we sat in our bunk beds.

A few nights before I was sitting at an eatery when I saw a Asian man. We started talking and I got to share my testimony. We ended up talking for 2 hours and getting ice cream as well.

One night I was laying in bed when I started to feel claustrophobic (this is a sign of Spirit moving- move with the spirit, because you’ll continue to feel claustrophobic if you don’t), the Lord said “get up”.

I walked out. He said “go to the second floor”. I got there but no one was there so I thought “maybe I’m just supposed to hang out with Jesus”.

Then suddenly a man hobbled into the lounge area.

I said “can I pray for you?” After praying he said that he was Muslim. He asked me if I believed Jesus was the son of God. I said “yes” and I explained that Jesus is the only God that solves the problem of sin and not being enough and that in ever other religion, you have to work for God to approve of you, but in Christ, He has finished the work on the cross so that you become whole and you get to rest in His finished work.

The Tattooed Man 

One day in Bali I felt led to go to a mall’s food court. When I went to sit down the Lord said to sit next to a tattooed man. I started small talking with him but when him and his mom stood up, I said “can I pray for you?” I saw the man preaching and asked if he has ever preached, sharing the vision with him. His mom exclaimed that the Lord had showed her the same.

Turns out they were Christian and I told them my story of leaving every thing to follow Jesus. I also told them that I am trusting God for finances, sometimes even to buy a flight ticket to continue.

Suddenly the mom whipped out some money and gave it to me. She said “for lunch money”. I was shocked and surprised but grateful to God.

To be honest, I have many times of doubting God. I sit in anxiety wondering how God will do it but somehow He continues to provide for me. Somehow I go from country to country sharing His love, even when I don’t know how He will provide for me.

Perth, Australia

“Pray for him” I heard God say. I ran after him, an Italian ex-mafia.

I prayed for him and he was very grateful. I started talking about apostle Paul and Peter, but I could barely understand him as he was speaking in half-Italian.

I had arrived the day before in Perth without any hostel bookings and no phone.

I got on the bus and immediately met a German guy. I prayed for him. He was an 18 year old, first time out of the country. We got off the bus together and parted ways.

Then started my search for a hostel. I walked a few blocks, saw a few and felt no peace about it. Then I found one and felt right about it, however everyone who came out of the hostel said they hated it. 2 Russian girls said they saw a cockroach and only stayed 5 minutes.

I said perhaps I could take over their room. However, I wasn’t sure. This girl kept pushing my shoulder, telling me to wait or to not go in. It was a very strange intimidating spirit. I walked up and decided to get a dorm room as their private room was above my budget.

Then suddenly club music from below the hostel started playing.

I thought “omg, Lord, I can’t anymore with this”.

Then suddenly and miraculously the music stopped. Already I met a Singaporean, Japanese girl, and German girl. I prayed for the staff who was having a fever.

Thank you for those who have been ministry partners and have been sending me out in obedience to the Lord. I pray the Lord protect and bless you. Everyday I am ministering to and praying for people and sharing the love of Christ with them.

Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

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The Only Anguish In My Heart

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Another Christian I met in Singapore hostel, we prayed for the country and sang to Jesus together.

The only anguish in my heart is for those that don’t know Jesus.

Today I found myself praying and crying to the Lord. God I pray that people will see the undying love of Christ and come to you.

It can be discouraging when you offer to pray for someone and they straight up say “no we don’t believe”.

Belief is a powerful thing. I sat there in the pool watching them as they silently sat reading their books. Though it seemed like a peaceful villa (I felt led to go there even though it wasn’t where I was staying but you are welcome to go and buy a drink), it seemed ominously quiet.

I thought about how sometimes when we don’t want interference, interruptions, noise, we are actually afraid to open our hearts to something new, maybe love, maybe an undying love named Jesus.

Sometimes we’d rather sit in brokenness than allow love to seep into our hearts. 

Sometimes we’d rather stay wounded than allow healing to occur.

Sometimes we’d rather run to distraction than allow ourselves to face the pain we’ve ignored for most of our lives. 

Even in the partying or celebrations our hearts could be broken.

So I sang out to Jesus- God bring them closer to your heart, bring them closer, bring them home.

The anguish in my heart is feeling like I’ve no control over how people react or how close they are to Jesus. I cannot force someone to see Jesus with their hearts, I cannot force someone to open their hearts.

Sometimes people are open and happy for some prayer, blessing and prophetic word about their life. Sometimes people wave their hand and say “no I don’t believe”. Sometimes they are so wounded they can’t see that true love exists, that betrayal sat too deeply in their memories to be forgiven.

I don’t feel rejected when they say no. I feel pain.

I feel pain that they are looking at the answer, but they are not willing to accept it. 

God has broken my heart for what breaks His. My only anguish is seeing a world full of people in despair and not seeing the One who can deliver them.

I am a drink offering being poured out everyday and I am praying everyday Lord bring them closer to you.

This night the Lord told me to knock on a young man’s door and pray for him. He is staying at the same hostel but in a private room. I wasn’t sure if it was his door but he opened. I said I was leaving tomorrow but that I wanted to pray for him and he said that he is not religious and turned away his face. I said, “okay, Jesus loves you”.

God break off the numbness in our hearts that prevent us from receiving your love. Your love is so amazing, it is wonderful, it is indescribable. You died on the cross for us and you thought of everyone of us. Your love captivates my heart. Your love is the only love worth living for. You healed my heart and I am longing for all people to know this love, this love that gives me rest and comfort. I pray this in Jesus name.

I am reminded of the story of Hosea. He married a harlot and the harlot, instead of wanting to be loved by one man,  went back to her old ways and lived a life of prostitution. Yet, Hosea waited for her. 

I am reminded that God waits for us and His love has no bounds. He continues to knock on our doors without asking for anything in return.

Thank you for those who have been ministry partners and have been sending me out in obedience to the Lord. I pray the Lord protect and bless you.

Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

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Open Your Heart To Feel

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A rice paddy in Bali, Indonesia

Women are scared to reject men because they don’t want to be the cause of someone’s pain. To be the cause of someone’s pain makes you feel that you are not enough and you can’t possibly make everyone happy.

But essentially you are not God.

I meet lots of men and women that tire themselves out trying to be everything to everyone and I have tired myself out like that before.

You are not responsible for how others feel about themselves. 

Most people will not understand why you do what you do.

You will upset and hurt people for living your truth, they will not be able to understand why you chose to leave home or chose to be far away from them.

You cannot change yourself to make others feel better about themselves or to appease them to fill and cover insecurities they feel about themselves.

You can only live your truth.

You can only live out your truth.

And when we don’t, when we pretend to be something we are not- our hearts suffer from it.

We can’t love without risking it and we can’t love without experiencing pain.

What I mean is- you are no responsible for protecting peoples’ hearts, God is. He is also responsible for protecting your heart. 

We can’t live our lives being afraid of offending others, call it “politically correct” or socially acceptable. Jesus was offensive. He loved those who didn’t deserve love in society’s perspective.

The disciples wanted him to be around all the time but he disappeared to have alone time. 

You can’t right all wrongs. 

You can’t explain yourself to everyone, and you don’t need to.

The ones who usually need explanation are not those who want your help and want to understand- they just want to instigate and make you feel less than….

Their own insecurities causes them to question your confidence. 

Perhaps if they make you question yourself they’ll succeed in derailing you from your truth and insecure people love to have company.

I am not saying I am always confident but I’ve learned to follow the voice and heartbeat of God, I’ve also learned to listen to my heart and to trust my heart.

And to seek that quiet voice instead of all the noises that seek to distract me, and they do come, often.

The naysayers say “but over confidence in yourself is wrong” when in truth they are petrified to follow their heart because they are afraid of failure, humiliation, rejection, judgement and most of all- PAIN.

Because some people will avoid pain at all costs.

Pain, disappointment conveys to them “you’re not enough”, you’re a loser and not a winner.

But pain is part of life.

Pain is your heart aching for heaven on earth.

Paradise, never ending love.

It’s an echo, a cry for help “there must be more” says your heart.

There must be a love that is eternal, a love that never fails you nor forsakes you, a love that doesn’t cheat on you nor betrays you.

And that love came to earth to bear all our pain and imperfection- Jesus.

That’s why it says “cast all your cares on the Lord for he cares for you”.

And there is no such thing as failure because God desires honest more than feigned enthusiasm. He is a God that is more than able to handle our fragile hearts.

Sometimes things we don’t expect comes out of our mouths because we’ve suppressed our truth for too long, pretending to be a version of self that is acceptable to others, whether that is our friends or family.

People (strangers) confess things to me they’ll never tell their friends or family because the shame is too much to bear.

People will tell me about relationships they had with married man/woman, abuse, deep longings, relationship fails, parents, self-abuse, attempts at suicide, sleeping with prostitutes, etc….the shame is heavy to bear and so they unload to me.

And for some reason, I feel no need to judge as I am myself imperfect.

But that is love, a total embrace that is unconditional.

I’m currently in Bali and the air is inspiring me in all kinds of ways. I’m overcoming my fear of the scooter as 3 years ago I got into a moped accident. I’ve learned to let go a little and just have fun in the midst of ministering and praying for people.

Yesterday I was praying for a girl in the middle of the lake.

Now I think about it I could have baptized someone, that would have been cool. But I’ve learned to just take a chance, to not forebode what could happen, but simply trust myself and God.

The woman who I’ve become friends with at the local eatery said “thank you! I slept well last night after you prayed for me. I’ve taken your advice to get more rest”.

The prophetic word- I saw a shirt the other day – it said “think less, live more”.

There are times I’m petrified and anxious, God how are you going to do it? How will you provide? And then He comes in when I least expect it.

I’ve told many people my testimony at the hostel I’m staying at- people are SERIOUSLY bewildered when I tell them that I haven’t had a phone for weeks and that God always provides what I need, even if it’s a stranger helping me with a ride or carpooling with me. 

God always sends angels to help me. 

And with this I realize that I’m living in complete trust in the Lord. That He literally is taking care of me as a Father would.

I usually would have some fear going into a new country but I knew that I would carpool with someone. I asked 5-6 people if they were going to Ubud and I ended up in a car with an Australian couple. It was a divine assignment. During the 1 hour and a half I prayed and prophesied over them as I heard their stories.

Everyone has a story and sometimes it’s cruel, sometimes it’s painful. 

But God is making all things new.

He is healing every wound and every bad memory and He is restoring unto you all that you have lost.

A girl I prayed for at an ice cream shop

God does not want slaves to listen to orders, He wants friends that will partner with Him in restoring the earth and the hearts of people.

Sow into the kingdom-

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You Don’t Need Anyone Else’s Acceptance To Do What The Lord Has Called You To

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Testimonies and Updates from Singapore 
Prophetic Dreams, Word and PRAYER

I am looking for a few people to sow for the next place God is calling me to. I am heading to Indonesia on January 25.

Any amounts are a huge help. And you are sowing into souls.

Sow into the kingdom-

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