Even If You Are Heart Broken, You Are Whole.

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How about ‘Open Your Heart- Come Out of Hiding’ as a 2020 resolution

Tell someone how you actually feel
Tell them they hurt you
Tell them you love or like them (even if they don’t reciprocate or don’t feel the same way)
Tell them what your heart was too scared to tell them

God will bring people to trigger you. You may want to be in the comfort of a womb, to be in control, protected…but often times we are protecting our hearts from love because we have been wounded.
It may feel annoying, you may not feel like talking to anyone, you may be wondering why a stranger is talking to you, you may start to feel anxious because you are holding the anger in, you may want to stay asleep and someone wakes you up with noise, you may wonder why someone is attacking you verbally, you may want to crawl in a hole….

But this is all good for you…

I don’t want you to be alone,
I wan’t you to be loved.

Leave me alone you may say,
But I will never leave you alone.

I feel utterly out of control but learning to let go of control and let love in. To respond authentically, not how I should, but how I really feel.

Love is scary.

You may tell someone how you feel and they may reject or judge you, they may lash out because they’re hurt. 

In the last few months I have been telling people how I feel. Sometimes people yell, sometimes they’re hurt, sometimes they respond well.

I never know what to expect. I’ve been severely hurt and wounded. But I’m learning to speak my truth.

I’ve told people that I loved them, that I liked them, and it was not reciprocated.

People have told me they want to have a relationship with me, and I’ve told them I don’t see a future.

I told my mother that it hurt that she told me to stop crying instead of comforting me when I broke up with my boyfriend at the age of 15.

I thought it was wrong to be sad. But I’ve learned sadness is part of life, we need to embrace each emotion, not skip it or say next.

Love is not love if you are only accepted at your best emotion, Love is love when you’re allowed to be yourself at each moment- emotional, sad, angry, bitter.

God accepts us whatever state we are in.

Even then we are enough.

You are whole. You are not lacking. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. You are righteous. Even if you are heart broken, you are not lacking, you didn’t lose a piece of your heart to someone, you are intact.

Remember that vision church teachers gave you? When you’re in love a part of you sticks onto that person, well the truth is grace means you are whole however broken your heart feels. You didn’t lose yourself, though it may feel like it. 

You are still whole,

you are still enough

because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

You didn’t waste time, you didn’t lose yourself, you are still whole. You didn’t do anything wrong. You are on the right path, don’t live in regret, forgive yourself.

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Here’s a fun shirt I saw at the mall, it made me laugh.

I love you all.

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien
Instagram: https://instagram.com/rebekkalien

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Cashapp-gugibabu

Monthly Partnership- https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/ Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my

 

Will You Support This Ministry?

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Okay, here’s the honest truth. A big part of me really hates asking for help. I like being self-sufficient, I like appearing like I have no problems (I grew up making my own money since I was 8) but I had a dream…here’s the dream. My friend Joy came to my house and I asked if she wanted a drink. I looked through my mom’s fridge and noticed all these energy drinks, pepsi, boba, aloe vera. I was wondering WHY there was so much stuff in the fridge. Then she went into the bathroom and I was trying to clean the hallways, and it was just a mess. I wanted it to be clean but it wasn’t. 

Then she said “you need to update me on what’s going on, are you able to do your own makeup or you want a makeup artist?” I said, isn’t there makeup artist? Then I wanted to ask her for $300 then I was afraid to.

Last month, fundraising was a bit slow, to be honest, I kind of give up. There is a $300 deficit from last year (month) that I need to pay off. Well, technically I started my ministry maxing out a $5000 credit card.

As you know I went to 14 countries to minister. I didn’t have the courage in the beginning to ask for help. But God eventually put that courage in me. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without peoples’ help.

My blog has more than 700 followers, and I have over 2000 ish facebook friends, but a part of me still wants to hide. I’ll message people individually and after like 10 I’m like that’s a lot already. Some people ignore my message, some people give it a thumbs up, but I’m like, “what’s the answer?”

Meaning, I don’t send my testimony to all 2000 friends because a part of me is afraid of judgement or rejection. And I feel like I can’t really deal with it, I mean seriously my mother’s rejection and yelling is already hard enough. 

Then the people who have judgement about fundraising.

But I know, that I am more than a conqueror and my job is to set people from the fear of lack, fear of rejection and judgement and so in that way, I can’t be afraid of it either. So I have to continue facing it. 

So while I’m asking God, what do you want me to do this year? 

He’s like “keep facing the fears and keep expanding your reach”. I’m not going to stop sending my testimony to people. 

I already know my message and I already know the gospel of grace. I’ve already mastered fighting demons and casting out demons, but of course the fear still tries to stop me. The judgements don’t seem to stop either. People want me to write a certain way, people want to control me, it’s all people really.

But yet, I keep listening to Jesus despite the noise.

Fear is our biggest enemy.

Today, I need your help. Are you able to sow $300, or any amount to help cover expenses from last year? And to give an overflow for this year’s work. I am not a big ministry like T.D. Jakes….yet. I’m a one person self-starter supported by pioneers, people who get what I’m trying to say. 

I’m not going to give up.

And I don’t believe you will either. Partner with me today. Consider sowing $50, $100, $200, $500 or more today, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Another way to support is to purchase a shirt. I think I’ve launched this 4 times already. It failed like 4 times. But again, perseverance. Click here to purchase shirts, sweatshirts, t-shirts, tanks in different sizes.

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Prophetic Word- Get Back Your Vision in 2020

The Lord is asking me to ask for donations today. I believe He will bless you with a triple return, so if you want a return on investment, give in faith!

Many times we are looking at what we have instead of trusting God as our Jehovah Jireh, we are relying on our jobs more than God, on our savings more than God, on our car or house more than God. God is breaking off this spirit of “prostitution” (trading your time and skills for money) and God is adopting children who will trust the Shepherd for what we have.

The enemy wants to pimp you out. He wants you to spend the rest of your life more concerned about being secure (about the material things) than following Jesus.

Because if He calls you to quit your job, and you’re scared of lack and you’re scared that God won’t provide, you’ll never start that ministry which will set thousands free from that spirit of lack.

Because if you stay with your abusive husband, you’ll never feel worthy to be alone with God or know that God is enough and you’ll never step into your calling and purpose.

Because if you work to pay off debt for the rest of your life, you’ll never walk into what God is calling you to. You’ll always think that you are not enough and never have enough, you’ll not understand you are a child of God and God made a complete payment to ALL YOUR BANK ACCOUNTS AND BILLS, even if you don’t see it NOW. HE WILL DO IT BECAUSE HIS BLOOD SPOKE.

IF THE ENEMY CAN KEEP YOU IN THE BONDAGE OF “LACK MENTALITY” you’ll NEVER step out in faith and be the warrior GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO BE.

HE IS SAYING YOU ARE A SON AND DAUGHTER OF GOD, NOT AN ORPHAN. STOP BEING SELF- sufficient and relinquish CONTROL TO ME. There are too many safe Christians who will not jump into God’s net. They need to be set free because their hearts will die in “worldly safety”.

There is REST for those who are willing to TRUST God, but the world lives like they are slaves. Will you trust God?

Give – “Not that I desire your gifts; what I desire is that more be credited to your account” Philippians 4:17 

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

www.rebekkalien.com

 

My Testimony

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Dearest Friend,

Here’s my year end support letter and testimony. I have come a long ways, the Lord sent me out July 2018 and I have gained many brothers and sisters in Christ. I thank you for those that have continued to pray and support me when you can.
Let’s just say it has been an uphill battle. The battles were the religious spirit, tradition, persecution, warfare, yet at the end of all this I can say Jesus has comforted me and shown Himself faithful.
I have become much bolder than before. There was so much shame attached to asking for financial support in my ministry, because in Asian culture it’s not seen as “upright” and since I had to start my own ministry, the uphill road was windier and harder….to believe what God says about me is true was even harder because there was very little encouragement from other people. I had to go off of what He said and simply obey.
I can honestly say I cried everyday for 2 years. If I didn’t cry that day I was probably having to pray in tongues because the warfare was so intense.

Thank you for those that have prayed for and invested into the kingdom through me this year. I have seen many set free from condemnation and brought into God’s kingdom. Still, there is more work to be done, not from a place of strife or lack, but a place of abundance and rest. God is situating me in Hollywood to set people from from being orphans, into sonship. I am going back into Hollywood and God has given me a continual heart for the LGBT community and creatives. 

Would you consider giving a year-end gift? My goal is to raise $2020 to bring in the new year.

Thank you for your generosity and love.

Everyone that is connected to me is my family, and I pray for each one of you. Become a financial partner today-

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

May God multiply every seed you sow. God has told me that there is a great harvest on my life and everyone who sows into me will reap greatly.

 

Rebekka’s Story

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I heard the Lord say “Tell your Story”. I had a dream I was crossing over but didn’t know if I should go over land or air and I was wondering if I should tell the girl I was with my story.

So here goes:

I was born in Hamburg, Germany. My parents divorced when I was 8. I moved to Taiwan when I was 5 and then to LA when I was 8. Growing up I just remember feeling really alone and isolated. I spent a lot of time journaling and playing under the table. We had a lot of financial struggles growing up because my mother was a single mom. Early on, I felt depressed and felt like I was always lacking, that I was never enough because I didn’t have an ideal family background. I couldn’t feel God’s love all the time because my dad’s love was not present. I did not see my dad or talk to him for 10 years, then every 3 years I’d see him if I’d visit Taiwan.

At the age of 12, I received Jesus into my heart. I felt God’s tangible love and fell to my knees, weeping. After that I started to hear God’s voice. People at my church thought I was crazy and tried to refute me with the Bible. I kept looking for approval and validation from people because I wanted to be loved for who I was, but it was never enough.

In 2011, I quit my full time job and pursued what the Lord had put on my heart. I started teaching piano, cello, sewing, selling jewelry, clothes, real estate, and acting etc. I’d put down something if it didn’t bring my joy or allow the Holy Spirit speak to me about what to pursue, but  eventually in 2015 after sitting in a hostel room in Spain, the Lord told me to quit my career in real estate. I felt so much joy with just a bag, I didn’t have much but I felt free. I returned to LA and the Lord told me to sell everything and follow Him. It was difficult and every week I surrendered something, whether it was an ex boyfriend, a friend, or my possessions.

At one point I had $200 and was late on rent and the Lord told me to give it. He said “whose house are you building, yours or mine?” So I proceeded to be late on rent for 2 months after I surrendered what I had. My friend said I was overcoming the fear of men (people, authority) and the fear of death (deadlines). It’s called dead for a reason.

At this point everyone thought I was crazy except a few close friends. I had to block a few relative members from coming into my life because I was being persecuted by them.

The Lord led me to move back home. It was a studio and I had to sleep on a couch pull out and sleep in the same room as my mother.

I didn’t understand it but God told me to stop working for 2 years. I had been working since I was 8 years old. How could I stop? Yet, in resting I started to understand what it really means to be a child of God.

It means that you receive from God what you did not work for. It means you have been adopted by God, and you no longer strive in your flesh, but learn to walk in the Spirit. You trust God as your provider, not what you see or have in the moment. His voice becomes everything.

My mother would still accuse me of not working or being useless, but every time I’d say out loud “I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus”.

Before I’d try to tell her that I was working for God, but then I realize that was also trying to prove my worth through works. I had tried to prove how worthy I was through my accomplishments all my life, through grades, through my career, through my looks, through what I possessed. But  now God had stripped me of everything so that I can “boast in GRACE alone”.

In 2018, God told me to go to Taiwan. I had $20 at that point. I cried in my mother’s car thinking “how am I going to survive”. Rewind back to 2015, the Lord told me “you’re a pastor to lost sheep”, I asked God “how will I survive?”, He said “I will provide”.

I went to Taiwan thinking I was going to live with my dad for a year and then God told me to go to Korea after a month of being in Taiwan.

My ministry started in a hostel (a dorm room of 10 beds), praying and prophesying for young people who had no knowledge of Jesus. I prayed for a Muslim girl’s stomach to heal at a barbecue restaurant, we walked around as I started to tell her my testimony. Since then I’ve ministered to thousands of people and God led me to Korea, Japan, South Africa, China, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Australia, Samoa, Australia, Fiji, New Zealand, India….

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I went into New Zealand with a one way ticket. Actually I went into most countries with a one way ticket because God hadn’t provided for the next place yet. I went into South Africa with $20 and a credit card. I didn’t know where I was going but God would tell me (or give me a sense) of where I should go. In South Africa the Lord told me to start a fundraiser. I was petrified because I knew I’d be exposing myself to judgement. To my surprise, people I met long time ago gave to my ministry. I wasn’t sent out by a church nor had any supporters, I was simply listening to God’s voice.

My purpose was to go –

  1. Gather the lost sheep, wherever they were. On a bus, train, airplane, hostel, restaurant, bar, club. They were specific individuals on God’s heart. They were either not Christian or people who had walked away from God and believed that they were no longer under grace as God should punish them for not going to church. A lot of them were disenchanted and hurt by the church. I would pray no condemnation over them and explain what grace really meant. God also healed my heart while I ministered to people.

One time I was at a restaurant and the Lord told me to pray for a lady. She started crying and said she just found out her sister and friend had cancer.

In another instance, the bus broke down in Fiji and we had to wait by the side of the road for nearly 2 hours. One lady told me her daughter died in child birth.

Another time the Lord led me to pray for a man at the airport and I ended up staying with his family when we arrived. Many times God told me not to book anything and I had to just trust that I wouldn’t be homeless, but that He was leading me to the lost sheep.

One time I was eating at a restaurant and the Lord gave me knowledge that this young man was having problems with his dad. When I told him he was shocked and said that his dad was actually in prison and he was deeply ashamed. The Lord’s love showered this young man to lift off the shame he felt.

Rewind back to 18, I had left a Baptist church I attended for 10 years. It was very legalistic and works- driven. I believed that the more I did for God, the better I was in God’s eyes.

God had to set me free from the religious spirit and religious mindset by telling me to rest on Sundays. This meant I did not go to church but learn to find my identity in Christ alone.

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The anointing and power God has given me did not come from strife, but from learning that I am a child of God and that He finished the work on the cross.

What have been the challenges in starting or maintaining a ministry:

  1. Many times I felt attacked by the spirit of lack. I felt that I was not worthy of the calling or struggled with finances and fundraising. God would tell me to ask people for donations and sometimes I was persecuted for it. Some people said that I should not ask for donations, some people said that I should find a real job and shame tried to attack me and make me feel less than. I wanted to give up a lot. But God kept me going.
  1. The religious spirit in people persecuted me. Some Christians  questioned me because I was not sent out by a church nor an organization and believed that I had no authority or right. They tried to tell me how to minister or what to do.

They judged the form but not the fruit. They could not see the thousands of people that were being changed by the gospel of grace.

The rewards of ministry:

  1. I have seen depressed people come alive after I tell them the truth of being set free from Jesus
  2. Taught people how to hear God
  3. Led people to Christ in hostels and on the streets, even recently at a gym
  4. Discipled people to live in freedom and the truth of righteousness by grace, not by works

If I’m really honest, I’m healing from a lot of the spiritual warfare and attacks from people. Recently my phone got stolen and it was a brand new phone I got as a gift. I was heart broken. On the road, I didn’t have an operating phone for 5 months. Yet, the power of the Holy Spirit was alive in me.

You have the opportunity to invest in the kingdom and partner with me today- Would you consider being a partner? I believe God will multiply every seed you sow because of the harvest on my life. 

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR LOVE, GENEROSITY AND KINDNESS!

I am praying for each and everyone of you.

I have gained so many sisters and brothers on the road and while ministering since July 2018.

Let’s continue praying for each other, we are family.

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In Japan

A man I prophesied over on Lyft

A man I met on the bus. The Lord told me to run after the bus, to get on it, and this man came on. I asked to pray for him and prophesied over him, that he was a prophet and that the Lord was calling Him to the nations.

Prophesying over an Uber driver- God tried to wake me up 3 days in a row, in the middle of the night. And I kept saying NO GOD. Finally at 4 or 5 am one night I got up and took an Uber to Korea town. When the car arrived the Lord told me she was Christian.

FOLLOW PODCAST

 

 

How To Deal With A Guilt-Tripping Mother

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New conversation with God added-

God– she’s not your responsibility

Me– it feels really heartless to leave her when I know she’s in need of care and love

God– only I can give her what she needs

Me– but what if she’s not going to you for it.

God– she will when you get out of the way.

As you know I talk about my mother a lot. She doesn’t like me writing about her but I feel like it helps people. Of course I don’t let her read them. A writer vows to tell the truth at all times, so here’s my truth.

I’ve included a video to help you.

It’s the holidays, how many people are guilt tripped to do what they DON’T WANT.

Questions to ask yourself-

  1. What season am I in? A season of rest, work, or healing? Your priority isn’t to live for someone else but to live for God and what God has told you. So if your priority isn’t to please your mother or family right now, it’s important to set boundaries and not succumb to spending every second with them.
  2. Whenever someone ask you to do something, walk outside and ask yourself if it’s something you want to do or if God has called you to it?

How to Deal with Guilt-tripping mothers or people-

1. Do not submit to what they ask of you out of guilt!

2. Explain why you don’t want to do what they ask of you. Don’t get angry back, just explain.

3. Keep NOT SUBMITTING

4. Be able to have a real talk with them about how it makes you FEEL when they do specific things like give you the SILENT treatment. “It makes me feel guilty when you don’t talk to me, you have to tell me how you’re actually feeling, can you communicate honestly with me?”

5. ASK them what they are feeling. Even if they yell eventually they will break and tell you what they’re ACTUALLY GOING THROUGH. Maybe they are afraid of the unknown, they are unsure about their life right now, maybe they are scared of being unemployed right now, or they have personal fears they are not letting you know about. 

How people act towards you usually has nothing to do with you.

People have issues, people get triggered.

Now say out loud-

I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there’s no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

Things you NEED TO KNOW-

  1. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT IF someone is mad at you.
  2. If someone holds a grudge, it’s also not your fault. Because if you apologize, they may still hold that grudge.
  3. You are doing the BEST YOU CAN. Now it’s another issue if you never admit fault.
  4. YOU ARE NOT CREATED TO LIVE FOR or PLEASE YOUR MOTHER, FATHER, FRIEND or EVEN HUSBAND/WIFE! 
  5. There is a responsibility to TAKE CARE OF YOUR EMOTIONS or GO TO GOD for emotional support. Then there is going to people and telling them WHAT YOU NEED from them. 

a. For example I like to be loved this way- touch, texting, calling, gifts, spending time, etc.

b. Express what you need….I need alone time.

c. Ask what they need to feel loved.

6. COMMUNICATION IS EVERYTHING! And finally YOU CANNOT FULFILL EVERY DESIRE AND NEED SOMEONE HAS, only GOD can! Be okay releasing them to God for what only God can do for someone! 

Prayer- God today I release that person into your care and love. I cannot love them the way you can. I release all control of their heart to you. I release my anxieties to you as well. I am not in control. Only you can love them the way they need to be loved. It is NOT my responsibility to take care of them, it is yours God.

It’s important that you don’t become the person someone relies on all the time, because then you take the place of God in their lives.

Consider giving to this ministry this Christmas! That people may be set from from guilt and condemnation through the materials I produce on Spotify, this blog and digital content. Thank you!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien

You

Prophetic Word – Break Off The Fear Of Lack

God spoke such a convicting word to me today.

He said –

“People pray for things but it’s because if they get it they won’t need me and it will add to their worth, which they think is lacking right now“.

And that’s a lie because Jesus’ sacrifice made you whole on the cross. So when God sees you He only sees Jesus, whole and unblemished.

Our prayers should be “the lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing”. That’s what I kept decreeing when I was on an island in Vietnam and didn’t know I was going to survive or even get off the island. I had less than $20 left. I was crying and really afraid. But I said God you said you are my shepherd and I lack nothing. That’s my reality.

When I was eating outside a man came by and later came back. I didn’t tell him my situation exactly but I told him I was being led by the spirit and doing it by faith. He turned out to be a believer and said he wanted to give. He was actually not wanting to withdraw money again because of atm fees, but God was really testing his trust in Him. He had a fear of lack and God sent me to show Him trust.

Our prayers shouldn’t be “God give us more money. It should be God I lack nothing, continue being my provider”.

I have a strong anointing to break off the “identity of lack” because I lacked all things in the natural. I followed the Holy Spirit to pastor lost sheep and didn’t even have enough money to pay for a hostel. God led me to where I needed to go as He told me to ask specific people on the road for help.

One guy at Macdonald’s made me feel ashamed for asking for help and I started crying.

God I am so ashamed.

I was so intimidated.

He said to me- “Do you know you are priestly royalty? And you are asking for his sake, not yours? Because he has a heart of stone and is not willing to bend? His heart has been closed for a long time and by asking you are (Jesus) knocking at his heart. Will you open and let me in? – I am saying to him”.

My job is hard as a prophet, I felt less than because of how the man responded. But God showed me again and again, you are my child. You’re my prophet. Don’t look at your circumstances, you are breaking hard spiritual ground. It was in a city in New Zealand where the youth I met at Macdonald’s told me it was highly racist and a stingy city. They were very judgemental there and didn’t like foreigners, yet it was a very religious city too.

The religious spirit was evident there as the man who intimidated me was a Lutheran. He looked down on me and asked if I always ask people for money. He was well dressed, but his wife wanted to help. She looked at him for approval and permission.

She was under control too. She was not free.

He kept saying no but finally she went to the car to look for change and when she came back and saw me crying, she said she would get more but never came back.

His controlling spirit changed her mind.

But remember God was specific about who to ask, because He knew what was going on inside of them. Remember this does not apply to everyone.

That’s why when God tells me to ask strangers it’s usually an indication of where they are spiritually. One time He told me to ask a group of Buddhists in India and they all started laughing at me. Why does an american need an Indian’s donation?

God said don’t leave until they give.

The only one that was open to Jesus gave me $1.

How willing are you to give into the spirit of fear and intimidation and give up on peoples’ hearts. God is building a I won’t leave until this thing breaks spirit.

God did not tell me to start asking people for donations until I was really ready to, because it takes a lot of supernatural courage to do it.

But the places where there is the most poverty is where God actually uses giving as a way to break off the spiritual stronghold of lack in that city or country.

Those who think they are lacking need to give to break off the spirit of lack.

One time I asked a homeless man for a donation, I placed a penny next to him. He said I have nothing to give. I said here’s a penny. I said you look at yourself and think you have nothing to give to the world but you are not lacking anything because of Jesus‘ sacrifice. Then God told me to give to him.

Sometimes I’ll ask someone for a donation and they will say I have nothing to give. Then I’ll say do you have $1? Then you have something and you are not lacking.

I was on an Uber ride and prayed and prophesied over a man. He said his dad died 10 years ago. He was grateful that God answered His prayers of sending someone to minister to him. God said to ask him for a donation and he said I don’t have any cash.

All of a sudden he said here. It was $10. Representing the prophetic word- he will restore the years the locust has taken away from you- the 10 years since his father died.

People think –

If only I get a perfect body, I’ll be whole. If I get my husband or wife, I’ll be happy. If I get a new place, I’ll be whole. If I get more money I won’t need to rely on God and I won’t feel like I’m lacking. If I just walk into my promises, I’ll know God loves me.

But all of that is actually a spirit of lack lying to you. It causes you to look at your circumstances (condition of your body, possessions, bank account, relationships, self) versus your identity as a child of God, reigning over this earth and having dominion over all things.

You are enough and you are not lacking. You don’t have to become more anything. You can rest in God’s perfect grace for you.

A sheep trust her shepherd (Jesus) to feed her and lead her, someone who relies on money has no shepherd or father.

I’m reminded when I was on the road and needed food or needed to know where he was leading me to sleep he always told me where and how. He often did not tell me where I was supposed to go until the day of because I wasn’t reliant on the plans but on God Himself. Was it scary? Yes. I had to pray against fear everyday. I also didn’t have someone next to me to talk to everyday but God always led me to other brothers and sisters as well and He gave me times of rest.

So it wasn’t MONEY I needed but his VOICE.

That’s why it says A psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

God does not want us to be self reliant or be in control. He wants us to be a sheep that trusts Him completely to protect us.

When we look at our shortcoming, we always feel lacking but when we look to Christ who is perfect and became our sin- we know we are actually whole because of His sacrifice!

Break off the fear of lack and reliance on mammon by sowing a seed of trust to God –

Ask the Lord if it’s time to give– when you know you’ve been relying on money or your job more than God, when you give- you realize no I am enough, I’m not lacking.

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How To Break Unhealthy Cycle In Relationships

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It takes vulnerability to experience true love. It’s through telling someone how you actually feel and they respond with understanding that you experience unconditional love. Most people don’t share how they feel because they have been judged or rejected for expressing their feelings.

1. Be vulnerable- tell people how you actually feel.

2. Write down the patterns in your relationships

3. Address the patterns with the people and act counter the patterns, setting boundaries and asking for what it is you need and being vulnerable about your triggers and history.

Here’s mine-

A. 🙏 Friendships- in the past I was always just someone’s go to for emotional and spiritual help. I also gave rides to everyone when I had a car. I was exhausted from helping people.

There was usually a disparity between how much I gave and how much I received (not that relationships is about measurement).

I walked in faith, hosting events, etc but didn’t know how to ask for help. In essence I could have but I didn’t think anyone would help me.

It could be as simple as going out with friends and not being able to pay for meals, God has taught me even to ask strangers for help now…It’s still not easy, but in the past I’d pretend I was okay and I’d charge it on my credit card.

Of course God has told me not to worry about debt because He has already taken care of them.

Because He knows what we can handle. It takes steps of faith to speak up. I maxed out a credit card to start self employment and I maxed out credit cards to start my ministry. That was what God told me to do and that was the amount of faith and courage I could handle at the time. But yes it was scary to trust that God would someday pay it off for me.

Then the next step was in my faith walk was to come out and tell people what I was doing in my ministry, basically to start a ministry.

I knew it would come with persecution. But people also supported me.

❤️ In essence, what I told you is the same as opening your heart.

1. There’s hurt, but you don’t know how to speak up about it.

2. You learn to speak up about it but you’re met with criticism or rejection

3. You speak up about it but people love you nevertheless

4. Repeat (and that’s love for you!)

In relationships you have to know how to ask for help and give help.

But if you’ve had unhealthy patterns in your life, it takes time to reverse it. Or to wait for the people who are willing to love you for who you are.

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B. ❤️ Romantic Relationships

Marriage is similar to friendships.

1. Someone has to be humble enough to first express how they are feeling even if that means “look I am in a space of possibly being hurt by you”- basically saying “You have the power to hurt me”. That’s intense.

2. If no one is vulnerable it’s impossible to have a good marriage. But remember it’s a two-way street.

3. One person tries harder and harder to open the other person’s heart but it is a choice whether you want to open your heart, thus that relationship will most likely wither away unless the other party is willing to open up and share how they are feeling.

You deserve a vulnerable love.

You deserve someone who is emotionally available and who is willing to put in the work to be open with you.

It’s a choice whether someone wants to open their heart.

What’s the point of sitting next to someone and not knowing where they are emotionally. Physically present but mentally absent.

For me that was the worst nightmare.

Because I grew up with a mentally, physically and emotionally absent dad and a critical mother so my relationships reflected that.

And guess what- it took those relationships for me to see that it wasn’t what I wanted!

So what is it I want?

1. Friends that reach out and ask me how I am. And I’ll do the same.

2. A life partner that knows to reach out to me, that I don’t have to be the aggressor, which I often am in many areas of my life.

But that means I may have to learn how to be patient and wait for others to reach out to me.

Truth be told I don’t really have any patience.

My heart is more like an EMT, it knows where to go for help. It’s also an immediate safe place for others.

But I have to learn how to set boundaries and allow people to do the hard thing of reaching out or asking for help.

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