God Closes Doors To Protect You From People Who Don’t See Your Worth

 

God closes doors and opportunities to protect you from people who don’t see your worth
This VIDEO will change your life and how you VIEW REJECTION!

I have BEEN rejected so many times in my life. In fact, my elementary and middle school years were riddled with bullying and rejection. This continued on in my life as I was different wherever I went. I didn’t realize it was because of the light in me, my refusal to compromise my values and who I am.

I hope this video will change your life and how you view rejection. I know it hurts but when you see the light shinning in you, you’ll realize, GOD LOVES ME THE WAY I AM and HE CREATED ME THIS WAY FOR A PURPOSE! 

Be grateful when God hides you. “I know you have glory on you, but I don’t want the wrong people to see it and take advantage of it. They won’t cherish you, they won’t celebrate you, they’ll scheme and misuse you!” says the Lord.

Be grateful when God hides you because He WANTS YOU TO SEE YOUR WORTH before anyone else does so that YOU WILL KNOW how to negotiate for what you are worth when the time comes….you won’t settle LOW or SELL YOURSELF SHORT for the glory that is in you. 

Be grateful when God hides you because He is waiting for the RIGHT people and opportunities to open their eyes to you so that your anointing won’t be tainted by the greed and selfishness of the wrong people. 

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A Queen/King Honors Her Emotions & Boundaries

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One of the worse things I experienced in life was having a trusted person betray me. It wasn’t that she did anything wrong, she said something really wrong. She dishonored my emotions (and me) during a time when I was going through a really hard time which was caused by one of her family members.

I had a dream where God showed me why I was feeling so shut down.

She belittled the hurt.

And I think that’s why it’s so important we allow children to cry and express anger, hurt. EMOTIONS ARE IMPORTANT. They tell us that our boundaries have been crossed. 

I didn’t think it – but subconsciously, I felt helpless. I felt that even my best friend was against me since she of course sided with her family. The people around me felt like I was being melodramatic and I didn’t know how to describe the hurt and the betrayal.

I felt alone and helpless. I felt angry and betrayed.

After that, I subconsciously shut down my emotions because people didn’t understand them anyways, because it didn’t get anything done, because the person closest to me brushed it aside.

It’s okay, I don’t need to be understood.

During that time I found my true friend, someone who really honored my emotions and could also tell me the truth.

But my heart felt cold and frosty for a long time.

That’s why when my heart suddenly started to melt, it was painful. I can feel the pain now, I can feel now.

“I was dishonored, disgraced, humiliated for your sake”- says the Lord. “I know how that feels, betrayal”. 

When I started to shut down my emotions, I started to sometimes under eat or over eat. I didn’t know when I was full or sometimes hungry. I was so detached from my emotions that I couldn’t even understand what my body was telling me.

I learned that I escaped painful emotions by eating sweets. 

I learned that I used logic and my mind to figure out what wasn’t working instead of going through experiencing the emotions. 

Yesterday this mentally unstable lady on the street demanded I give her my water and I did, at first out of good will, but then got angry at her for taking my water because I was really thirsty.

I forgave her in my heart but decided not to randomly give my water away. She could have gone to in and out to get water. I turned around and saw she had dumped the water on a bench. Next time I will speak loudly for myself. No.

I’ve been watching “The Return of Superman”, a Korean show about dads raising their kids and what I started noticing is that kids are raised to share because it’s a “kind thing to do”.

But kids are rarely taught boundaries.

I was not taught boundaries. I felt like things were easily taken from me, things I loved. In this way, I did not know how to protect and keep things I loved. I allowed people to step over me and didn’t know how to speak up for myself because this was illustrated to me in my family.

I was even taught this in church. Sacrifice.

But no one taught me that because Jesus already became the sacrifice that I didn’t need to be the sacrifice in my life. I didn’t need to be crucified everyday. 

I don’t think martyrdom is what Jesus wanted.

I think He wanted us to know what He died for us to have, to be, to live. 

I think we are in an age where we need to know who we are and push back the darkness that surrounds us. We can’t just take it. That’s not okay. 

We need to stand up and speak up. We need to rise and protect our boundaries.

People tell me that I’m so bold and self-loving. 

But that wasn’t always the case. I was the quiet, obedient Asian girl that people expected me to be. Now when I shout, the whole building can hear me. 

It’s because I know who I am and what I deserve now.

A queen seated on high.

 

There Is Nothing To Do, Nowhere To Be

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The last week I have been wrestling with a feeling of restlessness. You know when you plan charts and goals in your mind but instead God says “rest”. Most people think resting is easy, but actually it’s really difficult. Sometimes you compare yourself, you see celebrities and insta-famous people “progressing” and you think to yourself “what am I doing?” as if your life is measured by fame and money.

Resting is difficult because society drills “you’re not there yet, you’re not enough” into your mind. It’s everywhere, this message.

This message is the voice of the slave master, the devil himself.

But God says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 

The slave master has entered the minds of spiritual people too by telling them to go to yoga everyday, and if not, they can’t enter rest. The slave master has told people of faith to serve like slaves at churches or temples, to the point of exhaustion….I was there once, when I was a teenager. I would go to church at 7am, “do worship practice”, teach sunday school at 9am, lead worship at 11am, then I had youth group leader leadership meeting sometimes until 5pm.

This slave mentality took me through my time in the fashion industry, into entrepreneurship, but finally, God set me free.

He taught me how to be a child again.

Up until then, I defined my worth by how much I could accomplish. Growing up in a single parent home made me want to achieve more, somehow I needed to prove myself and help my family. If I could become someone or something, then I would be worth loving. 

This slave mentally has the whole world bound.

Most Christians don’t even understand the Gospel because it is attached with “and make sure you serve at church”. 

Not everyone is called to serve at church. Not everyone is called to serve yogurt at snack time.

If the Gospel means Jesus has freed you 100% and totally, you are a free person. You don’t need to do anything out of obligation, if it’s not desired in your heart, it’s not from God because God wouldn’t force you to do anything.

“Well, I should want to feed the homeless right?”

No, because God does not give the same desires to everyone. Maybe you are called to write music because it will heal souls. There is no better way or prescribed path for everyone.

I personally love traveling but I realize that traveling is often a way for me to feel like a free person, that anything is possible….that I am not bound by time, money, or location.

But I can feel free now by realizing that “there is nothing to do, nowhere to be”- why?

Because Jesus paid it all.

It is finished.

There is nothing to do because it is finished. I am complete. I am not lacking, I am whole in Christ Jesus. When God sees me, I’m not a work in progress, I’m righteous and whole.

There is nowhere to be because going there wouldn’t make me more whole or complete, I am complete now. 

It has taken me 30 years of my life to truly grasp this.

I received Jesus into my heart when I was 12, but I grew up going to church. Now, I realize most of what I saw was just a bunch of people trying to please God not knowing that God already accepted them via Jesus’ finished work on the cross. 

This slave mentality exists inside and outside the church. It is a prominent culture in America.

This message of “you’re not enough” will lead to death.

The message of “you are enough because Jesus redeemed you” will lead to life. This message of grace will liberate you and break the chains of slavery that torments your mind.

If you don’t live by grace, you will work and create out of lack and lack is just exhausting. Living out of “you’re not enough” will suck you dry.

When you rest in God, you are drawing out of eternal abundance. There is never a lack of supply.

I pray that these words will set your soul free.

 

The Father’s Love Will End Your Search for “Enough”

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For many of us, we are taught that “one day you will be enough”.

One day when you find your prince charming and get married, then you’ll be enough (because someone wants you and find you valuable).

One day when you establish your career and make a lot of money, then you’ll be enough (because your worth is defined by the commas in your account).

One day when you contribute to the world by doing philanthropic work, then you will be enough (because your worth is defined by how much you give to the world).

One day when you move out and become independent, needing no one, then you’ll be enough (because you are born a burden to your parents and you are NOT enough when you are born).

All of those, a lie.

Because the search for enough is never ending in this world’s system, if you choose to live in that realm of reality. 

The search ends when you accept and believe that God has made you enough, that you are whole because Jesus took the place for your “not enough” and credited to your account who He is- perfect and “enough”. 

You are, perfect and enough in His eyes. 

There is something settling about finding your place in God’s embrace, when He speaks over you “you are enough”.

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Even though your parents, your surroundings, your peers might not find you to be enough, you sink deeper into His unending “enough”. There is an overflowing enough where your burdens are light and your responsibilities little.

All He has called you to is to rest and allow your burdens to become His.

Those burdens seem to vanish quickly, sinking into His love.

Why is it that many of us are cute and unconditionally loved when we are children, but when we grow up it seems that love is limited? 

Because people encounter disappointments after disappointments in their own life…..and they push hopes and dreams on you, hoping that you’ll BE THE ONE to make them happy. 

They hope that MAYBE you’ll give them the hope they need to continue dreaming and living, maybe you’ll be the one to save them.

The truth is only God can do that. Yes, you can give people hope, you can encourage them, but the true responsibility falls to the maker. 

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Who is the only one that knows you intimately, the one who formed you in your mother’s womb. We find peace and relaxation in His arms, knowing that He is taking care of us. Like a baby, we can sleep in peace and wake in peace.

We understand that it is His job to feed us, to nurture us, to protect us. 

But many of us did not grow up that way, so we continue to live in fear. We live like orphans without a daddy. We become independent in the physical and material realm but still hoping that someone will tell us “I’m proud of you”, “you’ve made it”, and “you are worthy of my love”. 

The truth is, no amount of verbal encouragement will ease the pain and void of not enough…only the embrace of the Father…can we find true ease. 

 

“So it’s okay to come out of hiding now, I know you have been through hurts and disappointments.

I know people have failed you, but my love will never fail you. I will guide you and protect you. I will not leave you or forsake you. I will not disgrace or humiliate you. You are safe under my wings and protection. Come out my hidden ones. It is your time to shine. Come out my beautiful children. I am your Father. I will never hurt you. Come out beautiful children of mine, kings and queens of this earth and the heavenly realms”.

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Who Did Jesus Heal?

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As I was sitting in front of someone who was physically there but not mentally there, I thought to myself….this person could be set free right now but she doesn’t see the miracle that can happen right now, instead she is focused on her problems. 

I had a dream where I was sweeping up the food that someone made a mess of under the table of an art gallery. I said “what a mess!” Why would anyone leave a mess like this in a beautiful art gallery!

I was convicted this morning as God gave me a revelation.

“Don’t waste your time on people that don’t want to be healed”. 

Healing is a choice. Everyone has some healing to go through but NOT EVERYONE wants to be healed. In fact, being broken can be comfortable if you have been in it long enough.

I asked God “who did Jesus heal?” It’s a question we rarely ask. 

So I looked up some verses and realized that everyone he healed wanted to be healed. That is why He would ask them “Do you WANT to be well, do you want to be healed?”

Some guy WANTED TO BE HEALED SO MUCH that he had his friends remove a ROOF to get SET FREE by Jesus! One woman literally crawled on the floor (imagine public floors, EWWWW) to touch the hem of Jesus’ clothes to be HEALED.

Like HOW BADLY did they want their HEALING! 

So why do we throw the pearl of GREAT grace to pigs who DO NOT see it as precious? And why do we try so hard to PUSH people to realize they are broken.

OMG. There are people who would DO anything to get healed!!! WE don’t have TIME to waste on people who don’t want to change.

CHANGE IS A CHOICE and not everyone wants to change. 

“But the news about Him was spreading even farther, and large crowds were gathering to hear Him and to be healed of their sicknesses” Luke 5:15.

I have the anointing to impart abundance to people but when I mention that they are living in a spirit of lack, they are sometimes so offended they don’t want to hear what I have to say. Sometimes, I meet people who are inspired by my testimony and when I am about to say something that will shift their perspective and change them forever….all they want to do is vent about “she said that and he said that”. 

All they want to do is gossip and marinate in feeling bad when the miracle is RIGHT BEFORE THEM. 

“YOU COULD BE SET FREE RIGHT NOW” – I can hear my heart screaming. 

I do the best that I can, but essentially I give them to God and say “I release them to you for they are not my responsibility but yours”. 

13Then Jesus said to them, “Do you not understand this parable? Then how will you understand any of the parables?

14The farmer sows the word. 15Some are like the seeds along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them.

16Others are like the seeds sown on rocky places. They hear the word and at once receive it with joy. 17But they themselves have no root, and they remain for only a season. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.

18Still others are like the seeds sown among the thorns. They hear the word, 19but the cares of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth, and the desire for other things come in and choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.

20Yet others are like the seeds sown on good soil. They hear the word, receive it, and produce a crop—thirtyfold, sixtyfold, or a hundredfold.”- Matthew 13:18-23

Who did Jesus heal?

Jesus healed people who WANTED to be healed and He also healed people who were demon possessed, who were unable to decide for themselves because well, demons had possessed them. Usually people would bring them to Jesus to be healed. Though He traveled and met people to bring them out of their own misery, people also swarmed to Him for healing. 

So do you truly want to be healed, or do you want to keep feeling sorry for yourself?

Do you want to be healed, or do you actually want revenge for the hurt people have caused?

Do you want to be healed, or do you want to keep venting and own the right to vent?

Do you want to be healed, or do you want to own the control of your pain? Because when God heals you, you need to hand over the pain, the brokenness- you need to hand over your heart; not just half a heart, but your whole heart. 

People in ministry, coaching, therapy, teaching, etc….we are doing something wrong when we are focusing on people who don’t want to change or be healed. Being unhealed is a choice. Yes, we are all works in progress but there are many people who actually don’t DESIRE change or healing. So invest your time wisely.

Ask them “do you want to be well?” 

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I realize I don’t often make it easy for others to contribute, but I realize there is power in sowing a seed in good soil and there is also power in sowing so you can experience God’s fullest abundance. And I need to make it possible for people to contribute so that they can participate in God’s movement.
So if you would like to sow a seed in this ministry and you have been blessed by my videos! Thank you and God bless!

As you give, you will receive God’s multiplication! 

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A Blog Post For Children of Divorce

Divorce is awful to the people who divorce, but even worse for the children.

We are the invisible children who often suffer in darkness. 

But Asian culture makes it about invalidating the pain…”you should be grateful you know, that you weren’t abandoned, that a parent even took care of you” (like we are burdens instead of gifts in this world). These are the words you hear when you grow up in an Asian household. You are also taught to pretend like nothing is wrong. You are taught to hold your breathe and put on a mask. 

Because it is shameful, divorce. 

So there are seasons of my life where I feel pangs in my heart that I can’t explain, that I can’t pray away. It’s God healing the layers of pain that can’t be explained with words….it’s suffering in injustice and peeling off the hidden layers of protection, it’s trying not to drown and holding onto the cross, it’s looking up from under the ocean, every time God heals me…slowly swimming closer to the surface where I can finally breathe and laugh again.

It’s God unlocking chains that have held me down too deep, too many contracts and agreements that I didn’t agree to, that I was born into.

I didn’t agree to this. I break it off, I break off every lie that I was born into.

I break off every pain that tore through my heart, I break off the shame and the guilt that wasn’t mine.

It’s not your fault you know, if you were a child of divorce. You were a child who needed protection, not the other way around. You couldn’t possibly shield your parents from pain, you couldn’t have stopped the move, you couldn’t have because you were a child who needed protection.

So don’t feel guilty for not having done more. Even now it’s not your fault. You were a helpless child. 

Children of divorce often grow up with too much on their plates and they often continue to take on more than they can handle, sacrificing their own happiness to make others happy. Because I’ve caused enough hardships. I was a burden on her or him. My very life is a mistake. 

You are not a mistake, you are a gift from God. You were born into a tragic story but you were born as a brilliant idea of God, you are a gift and you are gifted.

No wonder some people live in rejection even until they are gray and old.

“No one will ever love me”- says he or she…”I’m not worthy of love”.

I wish I could tell you that this world is perfect, but it’s not. We are born into an imperfect world that needs redemption.

God is redeeming me everyday. Some seasons are heavier where I am faced with the wounds in my heart caused by thousands of stabbing.

There are layers and layers of protection and false bandages that children of divorce use. There are guilt trips and false shame.

Some of us live normal lives not recognizing or accepting that we have been wounded. These unrecognized wounds become unhealthy and destructive patterns in our lives. Sometimes we drown it with addictions like alcohol, sometimes we drown it by working hard and making money (and we are applauded for that, society looks up to that), sometimes we drown it with relationships and codependent friendships, sometimes we drown it by constantly being alone or constantly being with people.

It’s not about you, parents. This post is not about you. This post is about us children. We get to have a space to be ourselves, we are not guilt tripping you.

We get to have feelings, we get to have emotions. We are human, we are not an accessory to your lives. We were not born to be cute or helpful. We were born for God and FROM GOD. We were not born to satisfy or a fulfill a life you didn’t live, we were not born to be your source of love. We were born for God and from God. 

The responsibility to take care of wounded parents seem to last a life time, but it’s not supposed to. Children of divorce are not supposed to feel responsible for their parents’ divorce.

We are supposed to move on into healthy relationships and have healthy opinions of ourselves. 

But many of us still live under shame and guilt. We feel guilty for being born, we feel guilty for creating a mess, even though it’s not our mess. We feel guilty for being a burden. 

So God set us free.

Set us free from the lie that we are not enough.

Set us free from the lie that we are a burden and not a gift.

Set us free from shame. Set us free from feelings of unworthiness.

Set us free from the lie that we will never be happy and that we don’t deserve to be happy.

I have carried burdens that aren’t mine for too long and I need healing too. This is a space I get to be honest and myself. This is a space I get to be loved. Some people tell me “it seems like you are blaming your parents” or I hear “you shouldn’t write about it” ….but is silence better? Is it better to live in a world where everyone just pretends to be fine and dandy?

Why don’t we get to have feelings? 

If I don’t write about it, who will. Who will break the silence?

Who will shine light on the invisible children? Who will remember the forgotten ones? The children who grow up into adults but still live as rejects.

Most people will not see it, but God sees and He cares. He cares for every wound in your heart, He cares about every tear that you cry. He wants to set you free.

A prayer of release (read this out loud)- Dear God, from today on I break off any lies and contracts that were made on my soul and spirit the day I was born. I was born into imperfection and sin, but Jesus died on the cross for me to be righteous in your eyes. I am enough. I am loved by you. I am not a reject. I break off any responsibilities that are NOT mine.

From today on, I am a free person, I get to live my own life. I am not tied to my parents’ divorce, I am not a child of divorce any longer. I am a child of God. Now you are my parent, you take care of me, you protect me, you guide me. You have always been there for me, even when I felt like an orphan. I now remember that I am royalty, I was born to reign and not to suffer in silence. 

I forgive my parents and I forgive myself for carrying burdens that aren’t mine.

I am a free person! There is now no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus.

Thank you Jesus, in Jesus name Amen.

Remember Your Way Into Your Promised Land

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Human beings have such amnesia. 

As I was taking a shower, I heard God say “remember my goodness”.

Remember how I delivered you from that broken heart,

remember how I provided for you in the waiting season,

remember how I kept you safe in your travels, when you were healed of deathly food poisoning.

Stop complaining, remember my goodness. 

Every time God delivered you, did you remember to thank Him or did you start focusing on what ELSE you didn’t have? When God kept you safe and healthy after a trip, did you realize that you could have been hurt but God delivered you from evil?

“Remember my goodness so that you can walk through the unknowns and into your promised land” says the Lord. 

I recently went to China and weird enough, after 3 weeks I forgot what God did for me. He sent me to China with 2 weeks notice, He paid for my trip, He delivered me from evil (this evil was manipulation from a salesperson), he kept me healthy on the trip, and He made sure my mom was safe when we separated on our trip and she went her own way.

Somehow my focus was already on what wasn’t happening next. 

Thank God before He delivers you, thank God before He provides, thank God before the door opens, thank God even when you see no progress, even when your child is still disobedient or hanging out with the wrong people, thank God even when your health seems worse than before, thank God before you find housing, thank God before that bill is paid, thank God before your relationships are restored, thank God before He brings your life partner, thank God before your book is published, thank God before you get that big paycheck, thank God before the door opens, thank God for the little because when you thank GOD for the little, He will multiply it. 

Nothing is impossible for God.

If you believe, share this post so the world can be reminded to live in remembrance of God’s goodness. 

Every negative word out of our mouths taints our hearts and digs our own graves. We can build a NEW and GOOD future by being thankful everyday.

It’s all perspective isn’t it? If you believe we are all connected, then one positive and thankful word, post, encouragement can be a catalyst for goodness in this world.

If we can remember what God has done for us before, we will remember “oh yah GOD is for me and not against me! He loves me and He IS a good Father….and all those other lies that are drifting in your mind will dissipate…like the lies that God has forgotten you or doesn’t care about you….they’re all lies!!!….Remember my goodness says the Lord!”

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