I’ve been running into this problem. Guys being cheap and guilt tripping me on dates. Sometimes I meet really great men but sometimes there’s the few that ask “can you not get the most expensive thing on the menu?” And proceed to want to split a combo at bcd tofu.
He ate the sides 4 times, he asked the waitress if they’re free after I already told them they are. Then when we’re going somewhere else he said he wouldn’t split the uber even though he doesn’t even have a car and basically wanted me to pay for uber. At that point I told him I didn’t want to hang out anymore.
I realize I can take myself out without being guilt tripped or made to feel like a burden.
It’s because a lot of men these days actually either struggle financially or they don’t even know how to treat themselves well so how can they treat you with generosity and care.
At first I felt bad for calling him cheap but when he called back I basically said hey I don’t appreciate you wanting to freeload off of my uber and good luck finding a sugar mama.
My dad is an alcoholic and mostly broke. He uses his money for beer whenever he earns anything. He always made me feel like a burden. When I would visit Taiwan and he would give me $20 he would exclaim “wow I gave you all my money”.
The standard is quite low. When I started to make my own money and wasn’t struggling anymore I started to realize that I didn’t have to be frugal the way my mom was, she was a single mom and couldn’t afford rent at times.
Giving myself permission to do things for myself was tough at first but I realize I’m worth it. Things like going to universal studios, buying food inside the park instead of outside, not comparing prices.
I started buying flowers for myself, taking myself to massages, things to signify that I am worth it.
Unfortunately a lot of men still live in lack because they have a lack mentality, I realize it’s not my fault but I don’t appreciate being guilt tripped. When you have an open heart you don’t expect anything in return, you do things because you want to.
Rebekka Lien 