I Love You

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“There’s a scared place in our hearts only God can fill. When we come into divine romance with God, we realize nothing and no one else can fill that space.”

Two nights ago I had a dream that I was in Taiwan on a chinese tour and I was flying from Taipei to LA but I wanted to stay longer so I can see a friend. After that I started to ask God if I was supposed to go to Taiwan and last night I kept hearing go. But then I also heard familiar spirit so I prayed to cast out any voices that may not be God.

I started feeling anxious as I tried to figure it out. I went into a clay sauna at the korean spa and lay down, suddenly I saw a vision of myself running away from love, wanting to hide. This was not about a place, but the place in my heart. 

“It’s too much”. Sometimes it’s easier to be rejected, abused than to allow love in. Why? 

I’m not sure, maybe some people are scared of disappointing people or scared of that love, that maybe it’s too painful to feel love. How is it possible? Maybe because if you haven’t felt that in your life, it overwhelms you and you start thinking “why now?”

I told my friend that sometimes we’d rather be with people who abuse us than to get close to the people who will actually tell us the truth or we can be ourselves around. 

So I lay there and suddenly God invaded my heart and told me over and over again “I love you, I love you, I love you”. 
 
Stop running away from love. 
This is too good to be true, we’d think. We’d rather not realize what we desire than to accept it, why? Because we are scared to be disappointed. So we run, we run towards abuse, we run towards the counterfeit. We run towards those who cannot give us love. Because we don’t think we deserve love.
But now, you deserve it. You deserve the friends that will ugly cry with you, the ones you don’t have to hide your emotions with. Now you deserve the ones who won’t tell you to go away when your face is long. Now you deserve those who will accept you the way you are, whenever. You deserve those who will accept your emotions.
The ones who you don’t always have to be cheerful around….the ones you can actually be imperfect around. The ones who will allow you to cry and be imperfect…the ones you don’t need to go and have alone time when you are too sad to be a friend with. 
Do you feel it? Singles, you’re about to meet that one that will love you as you are, but are you willing to let go of that which is not love?
Are you willing to let God love you first?

I love you 

I don’t want a sacrifice, I want your heart

I want your heart 

The one you keep trying to protect 

The one you keep hard, gate closed, locked and bolted

The years of silence built up, each minute, each month, each year of silence that he/she didn’t speak to you – another layer of callus, harder your heart became, like solid concrete

No, you said.

Not today

“God, You’re just like my dad” you thought

And then they came, more people who were just like your dad, people with hard hearts like yours, people unable to give love

People you had to chase and pursue, people you kept knocking at their doors, people who abused you, people who neglected and abandoned you, people who didn’t know how to love themselves or love others

The cycle

But I trusted you God

But people are broken and imperfect

They are not me

Will you trust me again? Me your father?

Not your biological dad but Papa the heavenly one

Redeemed

I saw you holding me up as a baby and you were so proud of me

You carried me on your back and ran and I didn’t have to do anything

I could just rest

I lost sight of our relationship while trying to do things for you, trying to help others, trying.

Suddenly I got confused and I lost myself in serving. That voice telling me to go, it was no longer yours but a voice of obligation.

I didn’t want to anymore, I was drained. I was beat up and bruised by peoples’ words. I tried to feed those who didn’t want to be fed. They turned and trampled the pearls of wisdom, tearing me to shreds.

Their words hurt.

So I shut my heart down because then I wouldn’t have to feel.

And my dad disconnected again.

So then again layers of self protection. I went about my days busy to avoid the emotions. Where am I going and what am I doing God.

Anything but feeling.

But finally I lay on my back staring at the ceiling.

Okay I’ll cry.

I forgot that all I need is you.

I don’t need to go anywhere or do anything. I don’t need to dream or fulfill my dreams. I don’t need to fly or drive. I don’t need another divine appointment.

I just need you. Your words and your presence. I don’t need to do anything, I don’t need to achieve anything.

I’m enough. You’re enough for me. 

Sow a Seed (make a donation)-
Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes.

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PS- Shout out to G. for your donation. May God bless you. This is a testimony, I was actually lying on the floor being transparent with God, crying my eyes out when I received a contribution. I haven’t received a contribution from someone on my blog for a long time so (assuming you are a reader) I was surprised. But it was like God showing me I am your father, and He used a male to show me that image of grace. Thank you.

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Healing The Father Wound

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Me in Hamburg, Germany

How long since I actually took a nap?

Since I lay down here, and just relaxed, and let go, and just be.

It’s been awhile. I felt strange, I got a headache.

I took a nap. I woke up feeling depressed and hungry. I was thinking about the mediocre Mac and cheese from Sprouts. I didn’t really have an appetite. I decided to call a friend after crying. I started weeping while telling her that I still felt a lot of sadness towards accepting that my dad will never be what I want him to be. My friend said it’s actually the same thing as grieving a death. But it’s worse because that person actually have a choice to reciprocate love.

My realization-

“God what I want is a relationship with my dad, and that’s one thing I want and I can’t have it. I pursue it, but nothing. I’m cut off. He’s unable to have an emotional connection”. He is an alcoholic. Instead of confronting, speaking up he turns to alcohol. He lives on the other side of the world in Taiwan.

My whole life I shut down my heart, I didn’t know how to address it. I would suddenly detach myself from people and want to be alone. I’d want alone time because it was safer to be alone than to be hurt by someone.

I’d have a huge desire for emotional intimacy. I’d meet someone I really like but then if I knew he wasn’t it, I’d disappear, they would also disappear. We’d knew how to cut each other out of our lives, but there was no acknowledgement, I didn’t know how to talk through it.

I attracted men who were emotionally and physically absent….men I could not be in relationships with, men who I met ten thousand miles away that I would need to say goodbye to when I had to get on another flight.

It was too hard to face the pain of a possible connection, then ending that connection.

I felt immense emotions, I loved the initial high. I loved the romance and sure I’d get sad when I had to leave to another city, but at least I was safe from intense pain. I was safe from connecting long term and disconnecting. 

I knew that none of them were my husband.

But that was my process. God had to heal me and it’s taken 31 years of my life. I was that little girl in a corner, playing by herself in kindergarten. I felt unwanted by my father. I felt abandoned and rejected.

This season God has been breaking open my heart and healing every wound…by bringing me to a place of vulnerability where I can open my heart up to people. These people are also going through the same thing. 

These are people who will love me for who I truly am.

And that means I am completely open and vulnerable with you too. Whoever you are. I am speaking to you.

It’s not easy to open your heart but it is the most fulfilling thing you’ll ever experience in your life. 

Nothing else matters, no house, no car, no material possession, no accomplishment…

You can win the Emmy’s and have no one to cry with.

I am so happy I have people to cry with, people who I can be completely honest with. I’m grateful I can tell them “when you did this, it hurt” and I’m grateful that I can admit that I’m scared, angry, lonely, sad to them.

I’m glad I can talk about Jesus and penises all in one conversation. I can be completely honest and not have to censor myself to one topic. It is merging our faith with our humanity that truly makes us human.

I’ve been trying to figure out the future, trying to do instead of be because I didn’t want to face the emotional pain in my heart.

It hurts that my dad has no capacity of being in relationship with me.

It hurts that I have to go back to Taiwan to even talk to him.

But thank you God for healing this pain in my heart. Thank you that I am moving forward, I’m facing the pain and understanding the patterns in my heart that prevents me from wanting to be vulnerable and honest with people.

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One of my best friends in Kindergarten

Now I’d like to be myself and know that people will not reject me. I have those people now. I won’t hide underneath the guise of people pleasing anymore because God has given me courage to speak my truth, even if others are offended by it. 

Sure, I was persecuted and I offended people when I was ministering on the road, but it’s given me the courage and strength to always speak my truth no matter what the reactions are. 

It is harder to speak your truth to people you are close to than strangers, because you face the risk of losing them.

But maybe those who can’t take the truth are not really your friends.

I kept thinking God what should I do…instead of facing my emotions. It’s easier to be busy than to be vulnerable with God (and people).

God that’s the only thing I want. I want to be naked emotionally and unashamed, like Adam and Eve before sin entered the world.

He has been preparing me for marriage and it’s HARD! REALLY HARD, this process is exposing me so much. But I’m ready, I’m so ready.

Marriage is not just about finding someone you love but being able to be emotionally vulnerable with our life partner. Are you speaking your truth to those around you now? Your friends and family? 

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Prophetic Word- New Garments of Praise

1. PROPHETIC WORD AND PRAYER – TRUST YOUR HEART.
DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS! It may mean you have no one to hold when you feel alone but GO TO GOD. Don’t have a backup plan for your life. Don’t have plan B or a side chick/some dude who is NOT YOUR LIFE PARTNER! BLOCK, DELETE!

JUST BECAUSE IT’S AN OPTION OR AVAILABLE TO USE DOES NOT MEAN YOU NEED TO USE IT!

“Even if you washed the car and gas-ed up the car” it’s still an OLD CAR. Maybe you have been trying to HELP your second best be his/her best but it’s STILL not YOUR best, it’s still the OLD.

Don’t SETTLE FOR LESS, it may mean you have to WAIT for the best!
Don’t SETTLE! It may mean you won’t have a car to drive, but go with your heart’s desires, not what’s AVAILABLE! OMG.

Just because a man/woman is available to you and single, does not MEAN YOU NEED TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM AND BE DRAINED OF YOUR ENERGY!

YOU KNOW YOUR HEART, you don’t need someone to validate you. Another prophet may even speak over you but you need to discern whether that is actually for you.

 

2. Prophetic word- it’s time to trade your garment of mourning for the garment of praise! Don’t pick up old clothes anymore.

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.

Isaiah 61:3

After I wrote the last post I had several dreams. I had one dream where I held a cute baby and then it turned to a man. However I found out the baby was being operated by a woman.

When I was holding the baby I saw people dancing but I felt comfortable sitting and holding the baby so I did not get up.

In another dream I was going to a thrift shop and I picked up a shirt I donated and asked if I could borrow it and return it.

It’s been a transitional season and I’ve gotten prophetic words from people but sometimes it can differ a little bit from what I’m feeling or hearing. It may bring confusion to my heart but when I really sit down and ask God I sense this.

It’s time to trade your season of mourning to praise.

 

To pick up and get off your feet.

 

To strike the ground and not sit in fear anymore.

 

To work the ground because the harvest is coming.

 

Do not lament anymore, it’s time to be excited for what’s to come.

 

God gave me those dreams after I wrote the previous one. He told me to go back to sleep as there were more dreams.

 

Don’t pick up old mentalities and ideas anymore.

Don’t pick up the past anymore.

 

Move forward.

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Sacred Marriage with Jesus

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I woke up from a dream where a man was painting sunrises from dark until light. I was sleeping and saw holes in the wall and thought isn’t it a bit cold to have a hole in the wall? The light woke me up. In the dream I saw this man was Christian. My aunt was in the dream, she was single and thought I should get a job but I decided to paint. There were jars of Pablo Picasso’s paintings, like the painting was on the jar. And if you poured water on it, a cow would appear.

In 2018 I started having dreams of being married and I was about to embark on a journey to follow Jesus. I didn’t have money saved up and I didn’t know how I was going to survive but I said yes to Jesus. He told me to sell everything and follow Him and I got rid of my apartment, car and most of my possessions. 

A lot of people think they are ready for marriage but until they’ve been married to Jesus they don’t know what it really means.

Until you’ve said yes to Jesus, in the face of being rejected and persecuted by all of your family members, criticized by your relatives for being crazy, and “abandoned” by your best friends. Are you willing to forsake all for one?

I had dreams that I told my mother I was getting married. I dreamed that I was wearing a wedding dress on the airplane. I had another dream where God showed me pictures of men swiping left and then the words “get ready”.

What ensued was nothing I could ever imagine. What ensued was a year of boldness, betrayal, hardship, sometimes almost starvation. I left Los Angeles with a couple hundred from my mother, spent most of it in Taiwan, was helped by my dad, but then had to go to Korea and that’s when the fire of God fell on me and I started prophesying non stop. I maxed out a credit card to start my ministry and eventually had to come out of hiding and actually tell people what I was doing. 

I knew the judgements would come, and at first they didn’t but they did.

I left all for the one.

“Until death do us part”

“through good and bad”

In the name of God, I, (groom/bride’s name), take you, (groom/bride’s name), to be my (husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Jesus and I were there, together. I said yes to Him. For better, for worse. When I was on my mountaintop and when I was at my worse. When I was staying at a hostel with 10 other people, with music pounding and bouncing off the walls underneath or when I was staying at a resort.

I said yes.

I said yes to being persecuted and being called a false prophet. I said yes to being rejected by others, but being approved by God. 

Choose this day whom you will serve. Choose this day whom you will be married to. 

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To be married to what others think or to Jesus.

To be married to your friends or to Jesus.

To be married to peoples’ agenda or to Jesus.

To be married to your parents’ opinions or to Jesus.

To be married to some guy/girl or to Jesus.

What does that mean? That you are willing to forsake everything else and anything else for Jesus. 

There is a process to come to this stage. You first say yes to receiving Jesus into your heart, then you date Jesus, but you aren’t willing to surrender everything to Jesus.

Maybe He has called you to quit a job, to sell everything you have, to give up a man/woman. Maybe He has called you to follow Him into the scariest situations, to ask strangers for help, to land somewhere and not yet know where you will stay, but then you trust your husband to lead you. 

Until you’ve become married to Jesus, you trust Him completely, no husband/wife on earth will ever suffice. 

Marriage to Jesus is sacred, it’s total trust.

Though I had to process feelings of being betrayed by my husband, as I went through a lot of suffering, I know that He hasn’t abandoned me. He never will.

Solomon 5

I slept but my heart was awake.
    Listen! My beloved is knocking:
“Open to me, my sister, my darling,
    my dove, my flawless one.
My head is drenched with dew,
    my hair with the dampness of the night.”
I have taken off my robe—
    must I put it on again?
I have washed my feet—
    must I soil them again?
My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening;
    my heart began to pound for him.
I arose to open for my beloved,
    and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with flowing myrrh,
    on the handles of the bolt.
6 I opened for my beloved,
    but my beloved had left; he was gone.
    My heart sank at his departure.[a]
I looked for him but did not find him.
    I called him but he did not answer.
The watchmen found me
    as they made their rounds in the city.
They beat me, they bruised me;
    they took away my cloak,
    those watchmen of the walls!
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—
    if you find my beloved,
what will you tell him?
    Tell him I am faint with love.

This couple of days I’ve had to confess to God how I felt betrayed by Him. Metaphorically I felt beaten, bruised and exposed by people. I had to cry and cry. Recognize that my father would never love me the way I want to be loved, that the betrayal of silence had to be lifted. I had to tell God how I hated Him. I had to tell Him that I felt forgotten.

But when all that was done and then God had me tell a man that I still had feelings for him and it was reciprocated, I felt a light in my heart.

And even though he is not my husband, it was prophetic of what was to come. God was telling me that He’s never left me and He apologized for allowing me to go through the beating. He showed me that He never left me and that He never abandoned me. He was the only one that shadowed me and held me on my worse nights. He made the warfare easier, I cried to him when Satan tried to attack me.

I was willing to forsake all for the one. Are you?

To trust Him, your husband, your provider, your father?

You say, well I’m not willing to go through what you did.

But isn’t it worth it to feel that sacred love with the one who created you, to know you lack nothing and no one because you have a relationship so deep no one can tear you away or apart from Him? Until you’ve encountered sacred love and become united with Christ, sanctified for Him alone, you cannot truly know that you are not lacking. 

When you know you lack nothing and no one because you have Christ alone, any relationship in your life is a product of codependency and comes from a feeling that you are lacking. But when you know you are enough because of your sacred relationship with God, everything and everyone else is just an addition. 

That is marriage.

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How To Overcome Addiction

All pornography, drug, alcohol, sex, food, cutting, workaholic, hoarding, overachieving, self-harm, masturbation, even “self-help” addictions come from a desire for emotional connection. Because when we are shamed or guilt tripped for being our imperfect selves, we try to find comfort in something else. Everyone is just looking for love.

And a lot of it comes from neglect and lack of love.

Why don’t you come out of hiding and be who you really are? And let the ones that will love you for who you are, love you completely. 

The first step to healing is exposing and speaking the pain. Admitting that you need help, and then asking for help.

This is the season God is bringing us out of emotional hiding.

God wants to heal your heart right now. He says you are enough in my eyes because of Jesus’ sacrifice. You are whole in my eyes because Jesus died on the cross for all of your sins.
You are set free by His grace.

Also a song from Holy Spirit- I’ve Set You Free To Love

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Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes.

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Is He My Husband?

Just a random photo of dogs because I love dogs!

You’ve been heart broken, betrayed- I’ll mend your wounds.

I love you as you are, you are enough.

Your heart wants to go back but you know it’s like poison, there’s better.

When you wait for the best you’ll get the best.

You’ve waited a long time, wondering when, when you’ll meet the one, come I am your one.

I am your husband; I am your father; I am your protector. Do you not know I am here for you? Do you know I’ll whisper sweet nothings to you? Do you know you lack no one?

Jesus

Last night I had a dream my brother said I don’t like Korea and I said at least go to the Korean spa!

I was inside a house and I wanted to go out. The house represents my heart, I wanted to open my heart. A few weeks ago I met this man at the Korean spa. We liked each other but then I knew he wasn’t it.

I said that we could not be together.

Then God had me bump into him again. I was so mad. God you are seriously fucking with me (excuse my language).

I saw him with another woman and thought they were together so I hid. I ran. But then minutes later as I was calling my friend to tell her he said hey.

Wtf God???

I kind of made small talk, set boundaries and he ran off. Sort of. When he was walking away God told me to tell him how I felt.

Seriously God!!?

What’s the point. So I let him know I had to talk to him. He later called and I said- “God told me to tell you how I feel”.

And he replied that he had feelings for me too. That maybe we should hang out.

But then my heart felt better. I didn’t need to know what was next or maybe I would never see him again…

I didn’t realize I felt suffocated on the inside, I felt lack. I felt deprived and heart sick.

Even though he isn’t it, I said what I felt and it was liberating.

I am attractive, I am loved, I am beautiful. I felt that again. Because I felt repressed somehow. I wasn’t allowing myself to feel what I felt.

He might not be it and it may not go anywhere but why don’t you be real and honest? 

Prophetic Word for some who have had a desire to have more external stability-

God may be bringing your life into more external stability as He prepares you for marriage because the heart issues are TOO INTENSE of an UPHEAVAL for you to be dealing with moving around.
 
I know that is what He is bringing me into this SEASON.
 
MARRIAGE is around the corner as GOD OPENS YOUR HEART AND BRINGS YOU TO A PLACE OF VULNERABILITY with the people AROUND you.
You will need to BE HONEST AND OPEN WITH THOSE GOD IS having you BUILD with. 

GIVE TO THIS MINISTRY-

Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes. 

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Stop Faking Fine- How To Be Yourself And Be Emotionally Vulnerable

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Adam and Eve were not ashamed. And they were naked. They were vulnerable, they did not know sin, they did not know shame.

But then sin came, oh no we’ve done something wrong, we have a fear of being judged. 

Today I realized that I was numb in my heart because I was suppressing feelings of pain. I felt pain because everytime I go to Taiwan I try to connect with my dad but then when I come back to America it’s a disconnect, it’s like I don’t even exist. Before I didn’t talk to or see my dad for 10 years. 

Brene Brown talks about how the most evasive betrayal is not cheating, but neglect. Neglect and the silence.

That disconnect created a pain in my heart that increased by the day, but I didn’t realize I was feeling this. So God brought father figure divine appointments into my life, some were in Mexico, some that I met in LA, some on the airplane. They were all male figures comforting my heart. God brought father figures throughout my whole life.

I felt more and more depressed as I lay there after watching a show’s live taping today.

The issues:

  1. A family that was searching for the grandma who abandoned her son. The son had depression and killed himself.

As I watched my heart started to feel immense pain and I started crying. 

Growing up I tried to be perfect in my mother’s eye, I didn’t want to be a burden as she was already stressed out as a single mother.

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So I became the model citizen. I got good grades, excelled in school, won awards, I was a first chair cellist, I was a youth leader, I was esteemed but deep down no one noticed I was actually depressed. I had a sorrow in my heart I could not express and no one asked.

I took care of my own emotional needs through achievement, busy-ness, and when I was tired of striving, masturbation.

Since I could not feel anything emotionally, and I did not want to feel pain I learned how to feel emotions through physical gratification. I was very young and often neglected by my mother, left alone at the age of 5 inside a house by myself. I found that I could grind on my pelvis and I would feel good.

Later my mother told me that she had to put me in a worker’s storage room so she could work and that from 0-1 years old I was raised by my nanny. I started to feel like a ghost, a living body with no soul. No one to connect to.

But when I was 12 years old I felt God’s love and accepted Jesus into my heart. I started to be guided by Him and I felt His love when I could feel nothing else. And yet….church was another thing, they encouraged PERFORMANCE over CONNECTION.

They encouraged us to perform, thinking that if we performed well people would see Jesus in us. They used theology, they used books, but what people really needed was to feel love. They used rules and regulations. There was no grace.

I felt unloved and more over, I was encouraged to PERFORM.

And so PERFORM I did. I performed and achieved in church.

And I was exhausted.

So striving became my default because when you’re busy there is no time to feel. And when you have no time to feel, you don’t have to feel the pain in your heart.  The world is that way, full of busy noises, always being entertained, always going somewhere, always achieving, full of noise. 

No one wants to feel pain.

Very few people are honest about what they’re feeling and more people are ashamed to be who they are fully. Maybe they’ll sit behind a screen and criticize other people online or they’d rather gossip than confront that person.

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And that’s the worse thing about some churches is that they shame people for being imperfect. 

A lot of churches don’t talk about issues like sex, masturbation, pornography, addictions, drugs, depression, sexuality in general. When I asked two female leaders at my church what sex felt like they said “we will tell you when you’re about to get married”.

One of my best girl friend found her dad’s sex tape one time and became a porn addict. She watched porn for 8 hours a day. She became self conscious and insecure about her looks.

Why should I be ashamed to be honest?

I have nothing to hide. I’ll say the words penis and vagina out loud, I will talk about whatever I want.

If you are fake your whole life you’ll never meet people who will love you for who you are.

I see tons of prophets who show forth an image of perfection like they have no problems, they smile and wear nice dresses. I’m so tired of fake people. 

God didn’t anoint me or choose me because I’m perfect. God chose me because I trust in His grace alone that made me whole.

The other day someone asked me “how do you know you are anointed”. I started to explain and stopped. “Why do I have to explain myself to you?”

I’m a recovering emotional detached person. I had shingles when I was 14 because I was stuffing all the stress inside my heart. I didn’t tell people about my single mother’s anger issue, my mother told me not to tell people my parents are divorced.

I became two-faced. I became the overachiever who took care of her own emotional needs. I read erotica to ease the pain in my heart or I gossiped about other people. Everyone came to me for help and I liked it. But I wasn’t loving myself, and I didn’t know how to ask for help.

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I dated a guy who was emotionally absent. He would disappear for days and I found myself having emotional affairs with other people. He didn’t want to get close to me emotionally so I found other avenues.

But I was also emotionally detached, because it was safe to be with another emotionally absent person. That way I wouldn’t get hurt right?

No, I did get hurt. Love is love, you’ll experience pain no matter what. Stop trying to be perfect. Open your heart and just TELL IT LIKE IT IS. You are sad, say it. You are angry, say it. You feel like someone is being fake, tell them. It’s blunt but it’s the truth and the truth will set you free, even if it’s harsh.

So how do I overcome emotional detachment in this season:

  1. Opening my heart and talking through the issues with my friend.
  2. Creating videos and talking about how I feel
  3. Writing
  4. Telling God how I feel.

And most of it is a lot of anger.

God why did you abandon me?

God why did you allow this to happen to me?

God why do I always become friends or chase people who don’t give back to me?

God help me break this negative cycle.

God help me to open my heart.

God help me to forgive.

God I can’t do this anymore. This heart thing.

What’s appropriate? What’s taboo? Why don’t you lift off the veil of pretend and try being honest? 

Are you tired of BS? Why don’t you be honest for twice in your life? 

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