Questions To Ponder

15232127_10157843989230603_5771257740049603821_n

I have been drawing a lot. Here’s a house I drew. It has 8 rooms. I feel the inspiration coming back. Inspiration comes when we are restful and not worried. Which leads me to a few questions.

  1. What is so fun that you would do it for free?
  2. What was something you used to do as a kid that you no longer do but want to start doing again?
  3. What “shoulds” did you adhere to even though if you really think about it doesn’t make much sense?
  4. If you had all the resources and money in the world, what would you do?

say-thanks-1

PS- The book was given to me for an honest review.

XOXO BEX,

Instagram 

Art Prints 

Ebook

 

True Connection to Riches

“When you are inspired by a great purpose, everything will begin to work for you. Inspiration comes from moving back in-spirit and connecting to the seven faces of intention. When you feel inspired, what appeared to be risky becomes a path you feel compelled to follow. The risks are gone because you are following your bliss, which is the truth within you. This is really love working in harmony with your intention. Essentially, if you do not feel love, you do not feel the truth, and your truth is all wrapped up in your connection to Spirit. This is why inspiration is such an important part of the fulfillment of your intention to live a life on purpose.”- Wayne Dyer

I am an artist.

It is more than a job, it is a calling. It was predestined. We are all artists in some way.

I am disturbed when people talk about getting a job to survive, I used to think that way too. I used to put bills first and passion, vision, purpose second.

I am not a survivor, I am a thriver.

I don’t merely want to survive and live a get by life, I want to live a thriving life. I made a choice to GO ALL IN, no backup plan. Let that backup plan be God. Artists are prophets. If you create in anyway you are an artist. Artists have thoughts, ideas, blabbering in their mind and they put them out into the world. They mirror the creator. Growing up I had some people comment in surprise that I believe in God as though believing in God is an ignorant thing to do and also that I was too cool a person to believe in God. I’m an artist, I create shit. Why wouldn’t I believe in God. God created things. 

You know you are “inspired” or in- spirit when you have these flow of ideas and thoughts and you can’t seem to SHUT THEM UP. Like this morning I woke up to do my numero 2, and then I couldn’t go back to sleep because suddenly this thought “I am an artist….it is more than a job, it is a calling”….okay, go to sleep, but then my mind wouldn’t shut up, it was like God speaking to my mind in paragraph format and it was so detailed that I had to just turn on my computer and write it down. 

“And public speaking was not a risk; it was something I had to do because I knew that I could not feel happy with myself if I did not follow my heart. The universe handled the details, because I was feeling love for what I was doing, and consequently, I was living my truth. By teaching love, that very same love guided me to my purpose, and the financial remuneration flowed to me with that same energy of love. I couldn’t see how it worked out, but I followed an inner knowing and never regretted it.“- Wayne Dyer

A lot of people ask me this question “but how do you pay the bills as a freelancer or artist?” I find that hilarious because I’ve managed to sell most of my big belongings and live virtually very free from bills. For example I haven’t had a sim card for a year and a half, I use a google number and it also keeps me from getting distracted from living in peace. I seem to have everything I need and more all the time.

And when I feel “lack” it usually comes from believing a lie that I am not enough, that I need to supplement my being by having more clothes, makeup, things. 

Living in grace means my relationship and being with God comes first, my connection to God is my connection to provision.

He guides and leads me to places, opportunities, resources, money, things..and I don’t have to fret.

It’s like if someone asked “but how am I going to feed myself?” when her dad is standing right next to her with a consistent flow of sushi, tuna tar tar, pasta, steak, smoothies, etc. You get the idea. I’d be pretty offended if I was the dad. But most of us work out asses off in our non-inspired human way while “dad” is standing there with everything you can ever want or need and we refuse to accept his help. 

Pride? Possibly.

So that’s where Trust comes in. Belief. Believing that He is for you and not against you. Then, listening, intently, staying close to the heart of God.

I’ve been led to impossible, miraculous things and talk to people that some would be afraid to talk to…and sometimes yah I have to get over my own fear, but I remember I am safe in God’s protection.

xoxo BEX

my art: https://society6.com/shoprl/prints

 

Giving Thanks For the Pain

sunset-chaser-5

Thank you to all my subscribers and readers who have silently read my blog and liked my posts. Although I have disabled comments, I do invite you to contact me in other ways, such as my instagram- rebekkalien.

Yesterday I was just thinking that I am so grateful for all the pain and shit I went through in my life. Though I could not understand it in the moment and often used to blame my parents (one who was absent for 10 years) for my dysfunctional heart, I grew up very fast and learned that forgiveness is everything.

  1. If I didn’t move to two different countries after Germany, I would not be the world traveler that I am today. I can adapt anywhere and my mind and heart is open to change.
  2. I didn’t have a fatherly voice in my life, but I grew very close to God, who I could not see but could talk to and feel. I became stable within.
  3. After immigrating, my family experienced financial hardships, but it was in the hardship I learned to find my worth. I didn’t know how to be a child and never got allowance, which I later complained about….my own desire for independence led me to see how hard it is to do it on my own and I reconciled my familial relationships. With a heart to know my earthly father, I reached out to him several times. It took several years of visiting him to forgive and love him, but I needed to do it for myself. I could have complained about it for years, but God moved me to be the initiator. It wasn’t my fault that he wasn’t around, but how could I love myself in this situation, to let go.
  4. I realize that my parents are perfect for me because I don’t know a lot of Asian parents who allowed their daughters to travel solo. Because they could hardly control me, I did what I wanted to. My mom also backpacked Europe when she was young.
  5. I’m thankful for the pain and battles I’ve been through as an entrepreneur. I remember crying on my bath mat because I was barely scraping by. The mat was purple by the way.

I can look back now and say, wow, I was brave, I was a warrior. I’ve learned so much and I am thankful for how far I’ve come as a person.

What pain are you thankful? What do you need to release today? Who do you need to forgive, for you own heart?

Post Election Reads

halden

The election was horrific for me. The days after, probably for a week I woke up depressed, I would want to cry for no reason and also the spiritual atmosphere was bad…for example at Mcdonald’s when I asked for mustard, the staff said they had none. 5 minutes later he ran after me with two mustard condiments and said he forgot they had mustard. Everyone seemed cloudy. Well today it rained here in LA and I can say the atmosphere has lifted.

These two books have helped me to glean encouraging words into my spirit.

512ugykucal-_sx326_bo1204203200_ “Rather than asking, ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ We should be asking a far more important question ‘what do you want your life to look like? or maybe ‘what kind of soul do you want to have'” This book delves into the deep questions of what is healthy for our soul. I give it a 4 out of 5 because there were some language that kind of bored me, but then again I get bored very easily. Some great quotes though—“we are all stewards of our own souls, by the grace of God, and we can set limits on what we listen to”.

It is a good reminder that there are times to block out the world….next time an election is happening in the united states, I am going to mail in my vote, then leave the country so I don’t have to be listening to everyone gripe and complain about everything. It took too much energy out of me.

The second book I read after the election was The Prayer of Protection by Joseph Prince.

download-2 This book talks about hiding under the supernatural protection that God grants to those who want to receive his protection. Very good book as well.

PS- note I do receive books in exchange for an honest review.

From now on, I will start including some prophetic words I post on my instagram. Enjoy.

15107266_10157792367040603_8756526826243511428_n

Listen To Your Heart

when-we-open-our-hearts-to-receive-the-love-that-we-do-not-need-to-work-for-it-is-liberating

I grew up going to church, Baptist to be precise. About 12 years old I encountered God in a divine, weeping way, I experienced unconditional love from the depths of my heart. My journey though had begun when I was young…in those wee hours where I was home alone and afraid of the dark. Somehow I knew that the Devil was as real as the darkness and as a 5 year old, I prayed desperately for God to save me from the hollow fear.

Since I had lots of time of solitude, growing up with a busy working single mom and lots of time alone, I developed an inner life that was rich and real. I was drawn to the holy spirit and basically “following my intuition”. I would tell stories about being led to talk to homeless people, miracles, hearing God- this was strange for a very legalistic baptist church.  Eventually I left. Later on, I learned that what I experienced in my life was called being led by the spirit. 

You don’t need to label it to know that your intuition is God speaking to you. When it feels peaceful, right, you feel urged on, you have little fear. Perhaps yes there is apprehension, but that is the ego speaking.

What I noticed though is that in the institutions of “God” many people still don’t understand the concept of the Father. The concept and being of the Father God is basically the loving, unconditional, light who embraces and loves to hear us talk even about our sadness, feelings of anger, and grief. He is not judgmental and treats us better than the best father on this earth. Because few of us have had good earthly fathers, we often feel that God must be the same way. 

In addition, people are very scared when they can’t label something.

There were times where I followed the Spirit and I did very spontaneous things….sometimes Spirit led me to places where I met the right people at the right time. Before I was to be selected for a TV show to go to Cebu, I kept hearing Cebu over and over again. Sometimes of course I doubt what I am hearing, but as the stories in my life unfolds, I am assured once again that what I was hearing was accurate.

Trusting yourself- now growing up in the church, the only thing I heard was “put yourself last”. Self-sacrifice. I think this led to many people growing up deprived of self love.

The truth is since God already sacrificed all for us, “everything that has to be done is already done”. This is the concept of grace. The holistic way of thinking is that we are born a reflection of who God is and each of us have glory within ourselves. So our whole lives is really about getting to know God, but also the holy place within our own hearts which says “I am an heir, I am royalty, everything about me is brilliant, my heart radiates light and I am filled with love and I am complete because God within me has completed me”. 

So while some institutions believe that all power is with God, the truth is if God is within us, all power is in us so that all power for change is cultivated once our spirit self accepts and has the capacity to embrace that truth.

In short, I have been on a journey of learning to trust my truth in every moment and to speak those truths even if they are “negative”. God loves all of who you are now, not in the future or the past. Yes, with all the things that seem negative. 

So instead of living by a set of rules, Jesus sets you free to live in relationship.

So there is actually no right or wrong, but that which sets you free, the truth.

There are many things that are good for you, but if you feed yourself a bunch of sermons or motivational books when your heart needs space to heal, it can become destructive. For example, your heart may need solitude but a friend offers to hang out with you (she wants to help you)…in those moments I listen to my heart and ask myself what it is I actually need…even a “good thing” like hanging out with a friend can deprive you of what you actually need, time alone. 

Good works, volunteer work might seem good- but if you are doing it as a way to redeem yourself or perhaps free you from the guilt of all the wrongs you’ve committed in your life, you will not be freed. Like I said, only God sees our heart. He says “I will free you if you allow me to give you the love you need, just receive it”.

When we open our hearts to receive the love that we do not need to work for, it is liberating.

What is practical and productive in the world may not be productive to your soul. More in the material sense is not more to your soul. You may continue to crave more and feel even more empty inside. For some reason, the more you buy the more lack you feel. That is your soul asking you to look within. The emptiness is a feeling and the feeling is always telling you something. 

Slow down and ask yourself where that feeling is coming from. 

Slow down and ask what during the day annoyed you so much that you started feeling pain in your neck. For me, I have pain in the left side of my neck when I am emotionally distraught, bothered or believing a lie, or perhaps I am trying to control my emotions instead of expressing them.

Follow me on Instagram! 

Far Afield: Rare Food Encounters

far-afield_cover-2-838x1024godwar-province-rajasthanimg_0380-1l0b0442

Far Afield is a beautiful book full of rare food encounters from around the world. The authors are Shane Mitchell, a Saveur (to which I also subscribe) contributing editor and James Fisher, an Australian portrait photographer and film director based in London. With both their expertise and narrative, the book is filled with stunning photos from around the world, Japan to India to Hawaii. What makes the coffee table book intriguing is the array of adventures narrated by the authors. I felt like I was eating around the world with Shane and James. Take me next time!

This book was presented to me in exchange for an honest review.

365 Days of Rest

surrender-until-you-cant-anymore

The election is over.

But our lives have just begun. The election sparked a passion within me to make a difference in the world. As the numbers came in I actually started crying, crying turned to weeping and found my soul anguished. Perhaps it was Spirit within me or my personal desire connected to the election. This went deeper than I thought. Perhaps my desire to see a woman become president was a personal desire to see my own life blossom into the impossibilities of humanity. And perhaps it was the last straw for everything I had envisioned for this year.

All of this came into apex of surrender.

I would have to surrender my personal desire and trust that God would protect, empower and push me towards the direction that even I could no longer envision for myself. Because we put too much hope in one person. We thought that maybe the “Right person” could save us, and the truth is we put not only the president on a pedestal, we put “finding the perfect spouse”, “finding the right opportunity”, breaking our personal goals on a pedestal, but all of that is fleeting in the light of perfect peace in each moment.

I have been reading 365 Devotions For Finding Rest and it has helped me to find solace in times of turmoil. I find my soul crying out for justice, for peace, for joy, for restoration. I’ve been in months of surrender and rest, saying “no” to things, opportunities, people. Letting the season pass so that the right things and people could enter my current realm.

Asking me to be still is like asking a lion not to run free with strength, but in the stillness I find the ache in my heart heal steadily.