This morning I ran to the beach and was utterly disappointed.

Unlike Hawaii, the beach at Nadi was brown colored, not like the sparkling blue they advertise on their ads.

I can’t seem to control anything.

Fiji reminds me of Mexico. To be honest it’s a bit 3rd world. This is just me being honest. The sweltering heat, the humidity, the mosquitoes.

Okay yes God I get it I have assignments here but I’m frustrated it. Last night I found myself praying for 2 Chinese students and 2 Indian brothers but now I’m in a dorm room surrounded by light. I’m light sensitive and sound sensitive.

I’m the worse suited missionary and yet God called me.

I hate sharing rooms to be honest, I like it pitch black.

I hate it when people talk while I’m trying to sleep. I hate crossing streets when there’s no light, The cars zoom by without slowing down.

I want to cry because I’m out of my comfort zone and I want to enjoy the process and the journey but all I know is I’m being stretched.

And stretching hurts.

I met a girl on the bus who told me she got charged $300 for an avocado she forgot in her bag. Remember to get rid of fruits while going into any country.

I said God will provide, don’t worry.

The truth is none of us are in control.

Then this afternoon the Lord told me “move upstairs”. I ran in the rain to the reception which was located next door.

At first they said no. I went back and thought let me try again. Again I ran in the pouring rain and this time the manager came and called the housekeeper. A girl who I met on the street made it happen. She came and turned out both the manager and housekeeper were Christian. I said “the Lord’s purpose is made manifest through those who recognize Christ in me”.

I prayed for the girl and said I saw you in an office building. She said she has a dream to go back to school and try another career.

I said you will do it!! Step out in faith!

I know God has assignments in this room for me and I had to move.

It’s inconvenient for others but God’s ways are strange. There’s a Chinese man in my room. I know I’m here for a reason and God will always make a way where there seems to be no way. You just have to be persistent!

links to contribute.

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

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He drowns our his pain and guilt with a bottle of beer

It’s a simple way of running away and living in a cycle of pain

Whether it’s my dad or the new neighbor

I’ve seen it all

Men who cannot express their pain, silenced by society and societal expectations.

That is, their hearts are hardened and the only way is God.

I wrote a letter to my dad once “I’ve forgiven you, I hope you can forgive yourself now knowing Jesus forgave you by the cross”.

He has paid for your punishment. He was punished on the cross for our iniquities. The winds of change has come on April 22. I will be leaving New Zealand today. A Sri Lankan neighbor will be dropping me off at the bus station and I will be moving on.

Yesterday the Lord told me “the extra food is for her, she will come”. I see Lord. She did come, a Maori woman.

She had been fighting sicknesses, sinuses, coughing, headaches, cramps. I asked “do you feel shame and guilt?”

Yes she said. She said she asks God to forgive her. I said “if you’ve accepted Jesus into your heart He doesn’t see blemish anymore, He only sees Jesus In you”.

The concept of grace is hard to comprehend but it’s whole and not lacking.

I went from not caring about my dad to forgiving him. So many of my family are bound by the past but I’ve learned to let go.

The whole world is looking for a God who frees them and I’ve met Him- Jesus.

Instead of blaming those around you I want you to say “I no longer blame those around me and I now forgive them. I no longer need to be tied to their toxicity and issues and I now release them to God. I can move on with my life”.

Sometimes the best way to help someone is to release them to God.

You can’t help someone if they’re not willing to change. Change is a choice and God certainly is a gentleman. He won’t force change on anyone. He will ask and He will guide us and if we say yes- the transformation that can occur is astounding.

I went from an impatient, bitter and angry girl surrounded by pain to a woman who can love the most bitter people. That doesn’t mean I compromise my standards and allow myself to be stepped on.

No I listen and succinctly cut to the heart, speaking the words of God into their situation.

Since God gives me wisdom and insight into what’s really going on in their hearts, it’s not my job to be an emotional dumpster- no. I can tell immediately what is really going on.

My job is to pin point exactly what lie needs to be cast out and what truth needs to be spoken over them.

We live out our beliefs and if we don’t realize God’s grace is complete we will continue living in a cycle of self condemnation and guilt.

God’s completely forgiven you, now forgive yourself.

I met a man this week who has a daughter in another country. She is half kiwi and half German. He hasn’t seen her in 6 years. I told her my story of not seeing my dad for 10 years. I said “it’s time to move on”. He had a wall of her photos.

Another day i said “I heard the Lord say you are moving to Germany”. He said “that’s actually the plan, I’d like to see my little girl”.

Stories that are related to mine causes my heart to swell. Oh God your mercies. How broken people are and how much we need healing on this earth. It’s 1:45am and the winds outside is loud and powerful.

I don’t want to be stuck in a cycle of pain anymore, I want to live my life free of my family’s past. I want to move forward just as I’ve told this man to move forward. Though he may not know Jesus yet, I’ve planted a seed.

You deserve happiness.

You deserve a happy life apart from your family’s pain.

Are you ready to fly???

It’s your season! Don’t be scared God is with you! Time to let go of everything that is weighing you down and go after what God has told you!

What if the only thing that is stopping you is your own fear??

links to contribute.

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Last night as I was walking to the bathroom I saw a woman crying. I asked to pray for her and then ended up going to dinner with her and her daughter.

As she was sharing her life with me, I sensed a lot of fear, anxiety and control. I told her several visions.

I said “I see you in a boat and there is a hole in the boat but you are trying to patch the hole with anything, even your own clothes. However, I see Jesus reaching His hand to you. He is walking on water. He is above it all. You need to reach out to Him, not try to fix everything”.

If you connect with God laterally, everything horizontally will be worked out.

Some us us are trying to control our lives. We control every penny we spend, we save, we live in fear. We depend on our money for stability and security. We say we are building a nest and a legacy for our children but it’s idolatry.

Control is a demonic stronghold based in fear.

As I continued talking to the woman, I had another vision.

I said “I see a new season, a new door of light. You are on the escalator, it’s automatically going up via grace of God but you are tiring yourself out running in the same place on the same step even though it’s already moving”.

The crazy thing is she found out about this hostel “accidentally” at 8-9 am that morning while the Lord told me to stay at this hostel at 9am.

Divine timing.

I was the prophetic solution. I carried the word for her. I was the messenger.

The problem is usually not the problem, everything is spiritual and the solution is always to surrender to God.

God does not ask us to fend for ourselves or to figure out the solution.

I know there are times I try to figure out how I will eat, where I will sleep, how and when the funds will come in for the next country or even next day but God asks me to trust completely in Him and not in the funds.

So what do you depend on more than God?

That becomes an idol.

You cannot be spirit led if you are fear driven. If you are fear driven you control aspects of your life to feel in control, thinking it’s safety.

But that’s idolatry and that keeps you in bondage. It’s a demonic stronghold.

After my meeting with her, I had a dream that my mom and other relatives had set up shop and were trying to sell stuff.

Everything was neat and tidy. I was so angry. I got a baseball bat and flung everything, destroying the things that represented fear and bondage.

Then I started dancing on the table that the items were set up on.

The Holy Spirit represents freedom. It is freedom. God is freedom. Jesus came to fulfill the rules, not to give us rules.

I shared with the woman that Jesus finished the work on the cross and she shouldn’t be striving for perfection because in God’s eyes He only sees Jesus in her. She needs to rest in the finished work. God doesn’t even see imperfection anymore at the point of receiving Jesus.

He only sees wholeness.

The other day when a new friend sowed a seed, she said “you earned it” since she felt so much better after I prayed for her.

That always bothered me. I realized it’s because I didn’t earn it. I deserve it because Jesus died on the cross for me to have it. Healing costs so much more than $20, $30, $500, $10,000, a million.

Healing came from Jesus sacrifice. He took the punishment on the cross.

I didn’t earn it. Jesus paid for it. He paid for her healing and He paid for this ministry. So if anyone ever sows they are simply sowing what God gave them.

And God called me to ask her not simply because He is providing for me but because He wanted to break off the spirit and fear of lack off of her. That’s what giving does.

I am not in need. I am empowered by the Holy Spirit and fearless. I’m not in fear of lack anymore because I’ve had nothing on the road at times and yet God came through. So when I ask people to give it’s not for me, it’s for them.

God wants us to live in freedom. He wants us to live free of fear from judgement, rejection, lack and death. He wants us to rely on Him more than we rely on our sense of control over our career, what’s next, relationships, friendships, finances.

Will you surrender control?

Will you be a child and let God take your hand?

When we try to control our lives we are operating as our own god.

When we walk with God, we put Him where He needs to be, a father, our husband.

Give to The Building Of God’s Kingdom-

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https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

The spirit of rejection stems from a spirit of lack and says to you that you are unworthy of love or honor.

I battled a spirit of rejection most of my life. From the moment I was in my mom’s womb she spoke words over me, regret, hatred, bitterness. At that time my dad was cheating on my mom. You can imagine how angry she was.

I felt that. When I was young I had really bad temper. I exploded and yelled and felt everyone was attacking me and they often were.

When I received Jesus into my life my temperament changed completely but I still felt rejected at times.

I think because I was different. I always stood out. I had interesting fashion in high school. In fact my mom made most of my clothes. I was born in Germany, then moved to Taiwan, then America. I am a third culture kid and never felt like I fit in anywhere.

I got voted most unique in high school. Recently I watched a movie called Wonder Land. There is a part Peanut hides in a house and counts and organizes candies based on color. It gave him a sense of control.

Some of us become workaholics and refuse to have a social life because it gives us control and no one can reject us when we have no relationships.

God has challenged me to put myself out there. Whether it’s talking to strangers, asking to pray for them or asking for donations as I fundraise for this trip I’m on….I’m susceptible to rejection.

And the crazy thing is God wants me to ask until someone says yes, or says no. He wants me to experience both yes and no’s.

I realize God has purposed me to reach the outcasted and they often have a spirit of rejection on them. This results in passive aggressive behavior- not saying what’s on their mind but saying it in a subtle manner because they fear rejection.

God has challenged me to ask people who are afraid to help – to break off the fear of lack and feelings of helplessness.

Yesterday when a guy offered to make a donation I was really shocked, no one has offered this directly without fear. His heart was open. He didn’t hesitate. He didn’t fear that he would go without. He wrote “for your purpose”.

The couple I ministered to affirmed me so much I felt awkward.

It’s been too long since I got such direct affirmation.

I’m so used to rejection that a moment of praise had me feeling guilty.

Should I accept the compliments or shift the praise to God?

I had a dream this night that the Lord set me free from false humility. He showed me that I often undermined my light so my light wouldn’t highlight peoples’ insecurities because I often find that people are shocked and intimidated by my gift of seeing and prophesying.

Instead of seeing it as a gift, they find it creepy or unreal. They see me as a weirdo.

But I sensed that God is resurrecting our hearts this Easter.

We will no longer revert to expecting rejection. We will expect others’ open hearts, we will expect others to say yes and celebrate us. We will no longer hide in our dark cave but create communities that are safe for each other. We will step out into the light and find freedom and safety in God and in each others’ arms.

I want to thank those who have embraced my gift, who I am on this journey. Whether you’ve been reading my blog or have met me in person. I honor you. I honor who you are and who God has created you to be.

As I’m writing this, I’m crying at a cafe.

For so long, I felt misunderstood and persecuted for who God has made me but I’m seeing the tide turn around.

God is honoring you.

He is bringing you to prominence.

You will rise from the ashes and you will no longer weep.

You will no longer hide your shine to accommodate for peoples’ darkness and shade.

You’ll shine brighter and brighter because the world needs you.

Shame and guilt be broken off.

Value and worth is you.

You are worthy dear. My beloved son and daughter. You’ve gone through enough. Come hold my hand now. Come out of the cave.

By the sometimes we think people will only help us if we help them but that’s not the truth. There are people like me who have purely blessed someone with healing and prophetic words because the Lord asked me to, basically most of the people I’ve ministered to.

Sometimes we are scared to take risks because we fear rejection but I want to encourage you to step out in whatever areas God has called you to step out in!

I’m currently fundraising for the journey ahead. The Lord has decreed 3 countries next- Fiji, India, Sri Lanka and possibly Bangladesh.

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

“I will never leave nor forsake you. You don’t have to figure anything out”

I know I’m trying to make things work when I keep asking Holy Spirit; should I stay here or here? Should I go there now?

The last 7 days the Lord has led me like a whirlwind to 7 different places. His instructions were specific and direct. I met tons of people that I ministered to and prayed for.

I realize as a prophetic person I can get into a rut of trying to see or ask God what’s next but He’s like relax.

This happened tonight.

Crazy testimony.

I felt led to eat at a restaurant and was sitting there watching Korean drama.

I was probably there for almost 2 hours. All of a sudden I noticed everyone had left but a couple.

I saw the guy wearing a shirt and God was speaking loud to me through it so I asked to take a photo of it. I found out we were all from LA and I asked to pray for them. The prophesies were so accurate they were blown away. I told them my testimony and the guy asked me if I had Venmo and said he wanted to pay for my dinner.

I was just wondering how God would continue to provide but this time I didn’t even have to ask. He said I had a gift and he wanted to support my purpose.

As we were walking out we noticed we actually stayed at the same place.

Because of the prophetic prayers people who would never go into a church are blown away by how I would know something without them telling me.

Today’s event reminded me that God knows what He is doing and I must continue to spend without fear knowing that God will continue to provide as I follow Him in faith.

Yesterday with the help of 10 people sitting around the lobby of the hostel (whom I also prayed for) I was able to stay at the hostel I booked at. Later I checked and the hostel actually already charged me but that happened I believe so that I can pray for the people. #god works in strange ways!

Partner with me to touch lives!

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien