What It Means To Trust God

It’s one thing to say “just trust God” when you’re in an environment you know and with family and friends around you, it’s another when you’re alone (with Jesus and a hosts of angels) in a foreign country, your phone broke, you are low on cash and your card stopped working.

I have been through many situations on this missionary journey of following Jesus that looked like God would not come through. There were many nights I couldn’t sleep from unknown noises, TV next door, the mosque prayers, the noises seemed to be endless.

Your back starts hurting and your feet are swollen from walking.

Sure I pray for people and give them a solution from God, I help entangle the mess people aren’t able to step out from and entangle themselves, but sometimes I ask God “how about me?”

You are free.

You are enough in Christ Jesus. I may not look like I have everything but I have everything – Jesus.

The enemy will bring situations to wear you down, and then he will say “see God must not be with you, if He was with you this wouldn’t be happening” but in those tests and trials God actually wants to solidify your faith and trust in God.

He is training you to trust Him as your Father. I believe many of us don’t see God at work because we haven’t put Him to the test, we haven’t walked out in faith.

Perhaps God has called you to leave a relationship, to leave home, to quit your job, to pursue something new and you’re afraid.

I’m not always brave.

In fact a lot of times I feel anxious, I feel like I can’t sleep and I have to battle those thoughts with prayer.

I feel exhausted physically.

Then God says “you are enough, you are not lacking, I am enough for you”.

So today as I was walking I just kept saying “I am blessed and highly favored”.

Yesterday I was so tired I kept thinking I feel like I’m dying and God said speak life! So I said okay….all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me.

In order to really live in grace you need to put God to the test.

If He said to quit your job, you do it trusting God is your provider.

If He told you to be a prophet missionary and travel without knowing how you will do it, you trust Him and walk in it.

I feel weaker and weaker in my flesh but stronger in the spirit. I know I cannot boast in my flesh at all, it’s God who has brought me through everything.

And that’s grace.

I cannot do anything on my own but with Christ alone.

Have you put God to the test? He will show Himself faithful. Step out in faith.

Sow a seed- Your giving makes changing lives possible as I minister to and share the gospel of grace to people around the world! There is an ongoing need to fulfill the mandate the Lord has put on my life. Join me as I change and save lives! 

Thank you! 

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Erasing Perfectionism in Relationships

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This post is super vulnerable as I battled not being able to sleep and was having anxiety due to the TV playing next door. Slowly I felt the thoughts come to me.

I have a fear of intimacy. I’ve been told to tone it down as people have set boundaries with me before. Often my expressiveness, my too much news, my over emotions causes people to pull away from me.

I don’t know how to be a happy medium so I hold back.

I feel like I’m too much so I pent up what I’m actually feeling.

TV noises bother me. I like sleeping on schedule. I’m a control freak about getting my 8 hours, so I’m a perfectionist in some ways and I’ve tried to be perfect in friendships- always running over to be the shoulder for others to cry on and sometimes neglecting myself and my needs.

So as I’m coming out of the cave of emotional intimacy, I’m realizing that I’m petrified of telling my truth because I’ve been rejected for being too honest, I’ve been ridiculed or pushed away for being honest.

There’s a push and pull of wanting what I want and sometimes feeling like over indulging.

With food, sometimes I want sugar. I want a lot of it but then I feel guilty and bad for taking in so much of it.

I doubt my heart sometimes, I think this is too good to be true and find the smallest thing irritating.

I have so much energy and creativity in my mind I feel crazy half the time.

I’m hyper sensitive to noise. I can hear wiring in a wall, the smallest intonation, music notes that a noise makes. I know which do re mi it is.

There’s not enough paper for me to write all of my thoughts in this world.

I’m a bottle ready to explode at any time and sometimes I try to contain it.

I go back and forth, taking naps, then not being able to sleep at night.

I am enough in Christ Jesus. I am not lacking. I am not too much or not enough. I’m just the way God made me.

This is the truth, that I am ultimately enough and I can stop holding my breathe. 

Sometimes I don’t know what I want and I get caught up with making the “right decisions” when in reality there is no right decision because in Christ we have the freedom to follow our hearts and trust that God gave us those desires.

There is no wrong decision when you know you are righteous in Christ Jesus.

So live in freedom. You don’t have to be perfect in any relationship.

I dare you to be honest. I dare you to tell your truth. I dare you to not hold back anymore.

Yes you’ll get hurt. I got hurt because people didn’t respond the same way I acted towards them but that is love and thats what God has called me to and yes it sucks sometimes and I have to go back to wherever I’m staying and cry because these were not going to be friends forever people, but simply people I prayed for.

I put my heart out there every single day. I pray and talk to strangers. It’s a tough life but I has taught me to live fiercely, without reserve.

It is 1:39am and I can’t sleep. The TV sounds are coming by through the walls and I’m like Lord help me. There’s nothing I can do now but it provoked these thoughts. So I guess holy spirit works in weird and strange and uncomfortable ways.

I dare you to tell your truth this year without caring what people will think. Put your heart out there and don’t hold back anymore. There’s no right or wrong, be free in relationships. Tell your truth even if others disagree with you. You don’t have to be perfect.

You don’t always have to be there for people, you don’t always have to be on, you can be weak and say so, you can be honest and be loved for who you are bd not who you pretend to be.

Sow a seed- Your giving makes changing lives possible as I minister to and share the gospel of grace to people around the world! There is an ongoing need to fulfill the mandate the Lord has put on my life. Join me as I change and save lives! 

Thank you! 

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

 

The People Pleaser & The Master Manipulator, Finding Wholeness in a World That Lacks Love

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Today we will talk about two types of people:

  1. The people pleaser- always playing in line with what others want, in fear of judgement, rejection, feelings of shame, and feelings of unworthiness.
  2. Master manipulator- angry at what life didn’t give them, manipulating others to get what they want

Both operate from a spirit of lack.

This post may hit at the target at everything you’ve ever felt in your whole life.

I have been both but for much of my life I was a people pleaser. My mother often “made me” feel guilty or ashamed to be alive. My dad was supposedly cheating on my mother when she was pregnant with me so I often felt like I was paying penance with my life, subjugated to simply do what she wanted me to so that she wouldn’t feel so bad about herself.

I wonder how many of us feel this way? That we aren’t worthy to even be alive.

It wasn’t my fault.

The same spirit that accused and blamed me my whole life, even using my mom’s anger towards herself and her life circumstances accused me this week.

An airbnb owner (who happens to be pregnant) accused me of asking for too much when I asked for a quiet house on several occasions. Apparently the housemate was offended. Here I was thinking that we were all becoming friends when in actuality, they were talking behind my back.

She came home, exploding. She said I was selfish for expecting everyone to cater towards my need. I said “you opened an airbnb business, it was your choice, and I’m simply being honest”.

I knew that this was all the devil trying to accuse me.

I felt guilty when the owner stopped talking to me. When I said hi the other day she didn’t even look at me.

I felt my shoulders tighten.

Then it hit me. My mom does that when she is mad at me. She doesn’t acknowledge my existence as a way to punish me. I wonder if that’s connected with her blaming me for her pain, her pain of feeling abandoned by my dad, her pain of feeling neglected, unloved.

It’s not my fault though.

Finally, it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. And it’s not your fault, however your parents punish you for their own feelings of unworthiness. 

I kept hearing God say “it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong, you were simply being honest and speaking up for your needs”. 

The owner’s accusation was a way to make me feel guilty for speaking up and wanting what I wanted.

Perhaps that is why most people stop asking for what they want or need- because they have a fear that people will reject, shame, judge or condemn them for their desires or opinions.

I felt a sense of responsibility to right the wrong- but I didn’t do anything wrong, I was only speaking my mind and truth.

Shame and guilt shuts people up.

Shame causes people to be silent. 

I realized that this wasn’t about me, it was about the owner. She was too stressed, working full time, managing an airbnb (her own house), pregnant.

Was it that I was being selfish or that she just wasn’t loving herself enough?

People who call others selfish usually don’t love themselves enough and aren’t “selfish” enough. They live out of a spirit of lack and often expect others to compensate for the lack of love they feel. 

In actuality, no one is responsible to love you. It’s your responsibility to love yourself first, to allow God to love you and then to speak up for what it is you need and want. Sure, in a relationship, in family, people do love you, but they do it out of what they are capable of doing. Most people don’t have ENOUGH love to give because they don’t realize they are enough in Christ Jesus.

People can only love you to the capacity they love themselves. If they “love” you above what they can give themselves, they are “sacrificing” themselves at the cost of loving you. And there is then a deficit. a shortage. When there is a shortage, people often feel bitter about the love they give you.

In truth, all of what I described is not love at all, it’s actually based out of fear. 

People sacrifice themselves at the cost of loving themselves because they fear that you will essentially LEAVE or reject them if they don’t sacrifice themselves.

But there is no fear in love because perfect love casts out fear.

So what would it look like to live in love? 

  1. Speaking up for how I actually feel, need and want without fear of judgement or rejection.
  2. There is no need for “sacrifice”, just love.
  3. Sure there may be compromises, but not compromises that are based out of fear.

The owner told me that it is in Malaysian culture to sacrifice to the point that they can’t take it anymore. But when I talked to two male Malaysians, they said “no, I don’t believe that” so I wonder if it’s mostly just with women….this theme of sacrifice.

I don’t need to sacrifice because Jesus became the ultimate sacrifice on the cross.

Sure, I have left everything to follow Jesus to share the love of Christ with people, but in truth, it’s not a sacrifice because I am following my heart and what truly gives me fulfillment. 

My heart is full when I love people, and when I allow others that I meet to love me. But I ultimately go to God.

God does not call us to sacrifice, he says come to me with a broken and contrite heart, this I will not despise. He doesn’t call us to be strong, He calls us to lay ourselves at His feet at all times. 

I found myself fighting this battle of shame and guilt through words and prayer.

“I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus”. 

We battle with not enough, we battle with feelings of shame, guilt, condemnation- but in Christ, we are enough and we are righteous.

When you know you are enough in Christ Jesus, you’ll love with an open heart, one that is pure and without manipulation, guilt, witchcraft, control or a need to sacrifice.

When we sacrifice, we live out of a belief that there is lack, that somewhere God won’t fill the void if we don’t personally fill it. 

But in Christ, there is no lack. There is only an abundance of love. So if we are not able, say so. Christ is more than enough. God does not need us to be strong. God wants us to be weak and for Him to be strong for us.

Sow a seed- Your giving makes changing lives possible as I minister to and share the gospel of grace to people around the world! There is an ongoing need to fulfill the mandate the Lord has put on my life. Join me as I change and save lives! 

Thank you! 

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Breaking Off The Orphan Mindset

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Since the age of 5 I was often home alone, I learned to kill bees on my own as a kid. I felt alone many times as my mom was often at work and I did not grow up with my dad. But in the many years of learning to be independent I learned to rely on God. I felt that I needed to be financially independent as I didn’t want to be a burden on my single mother.

However, I was living out of an orphan mindset. 

I was trusting God for provision however I was limiting Him by not knowing how to ask for help or believing that I was worthy of it.

There were many times on this trip I had to verbally ask for help. For example, asking to carpool or for a ride from a stranger because I had no sim card or way of getting home. So many times our phones actually become our emotional crutch but on this trip I’ve learned to open my heart. 

Recently I watched a movie called “More Than Blue”, it’s a Taiwanese movie about 2 orphans. One whose parents and family died in a car crash, and another whose mom abandoned him. What happens when 2 orphans come together? Codependency.

Here are symptoms of an orphan mindset:

  1. You feel like you have to rely on yourself (and God) and no one else.
  2. You feel like people cannot be trusted.
  3. You feel like love must be earned, and that people will only love you if you are good to them. This results in you putting on a mask or pretending to be happy all the time.
  4. You suppress and stuff your emotions or how you really feel because you’re scared of rejection and that others will stop liking or loving you because of you telling your truth.
  5. You’re ashamed of asking for help, you don’t believe you are worthy of it.
  6. You believe it’s easier to be alone and as a result you don’t know how to share you heart with people.
  7. You carry severe woundedness and feelings of rejection because of past experiences.
  8. You handle pain on your own, you feel that vulnerability is a sign of weakness.

ONE HUGE SIGN of an orphan mindset is that you CONDITION your behavior around those you are around (your behavior depends on who is around you at any given moment). God wants us to come into an alignment in our being to feel the freedom to be who we are without changing no matter who is around us. Most of us don’t feel safe to be who we really are because most people are not safe to be around (to be honest).

What happens when we find stability in our identity in Christ? And we find people who we can be honest with? Powerful authenticity.

There has been a number of movies recently about orphans, Instant Family for example.

Not to ruin the movie or anything (don’t read it if you’re going to watch it)- but they don’t tell each other how they really feel until the man is about to die. And then they lie and coerce each other to do what they want thinking it’s what will make them happy. For example, the guy says “you should get married to someone nice” when in truth he actually loves her…however because he is about to die he fears that she cannot handle the loneliness. He also does not tell her that he is sick.

In truth, she knows he is sick and is handling the pain on her own (orphan mindset). In the end, she married a guy just to make the man he loves happy, then leaves her husband to be by her lover’s side because she didn’t follow her heart to begin with.

Anyways even though I cried my eyes out, I thought to myself “this is really F#$% up”…how dare she use an innocent guy just to fulfill her lover’s wish.

So then, he dies and then she swallows some pills and kills herself.

While I was crying a bunch, God’s like “that’s not love”. I’m like okay I know, but the world seems to romanticize it. It seems romantic to die by your lover’s side.

In truth, the whole relationship started out with an orphan mindset. They felt abandoned and alone and instead of healing together, they basically became an orphan couple.

The girl could have lived a happy life without him if she had Jesus.

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A child of God Mindset: 

  1. Knows that in your weakness, God is strong. It’s powerful to be vulnerable and say how you really feel. You know that the ones who love you will still love you no matter what you say. 
  2. The Lord is your shepherd, you lack nothing. You are enough in Christ Jesus, you are not lacking. Your worth doesn’t come from what you do for others but who you are in Christ.
  3. You have a healthy understanding of building trust, that it takes time, but that your trust is not in people but in God. You understand that people are imperfect and people make mistakes and you understand that forgiveness is important to go on.
  4. You can ask for what you need or want without feeling guilt about it because you know you are worthy in Christ Jesus.
  5. You know that love is honest, not fake and you’re willing to be honest and show your true self. You understand that you heart is also not to be shared with just anyone. You understand your worth.
  6. You can share your pain with others who can be trusted. You know that it’s okay to share your vulnerabilities because it is the beginning of relationship.
  7. Your stability is in your identity of being a child of God, not in what you do or achieve, but in the unconditional love of Jesus.

It took me a long time to put my guard down and trust people, to learn to ask for help. The first time I asked my mom for help I was sobbing because I felt so ashamed. All my life, I was independent and could do everything on my own but it was the beginning of learning to be a child of God.

You don’t receive what you don’t believe you deserve. You receive in life what you believe you deserve. 

So when you live out of an orphan mindset, you don’t believe God can freely give you anything so you work for it, you strive for it, you perform for it.

But when you realize you are a child of God, you learn to rest and receive it knowing Jesus paid the price for it. 

Example-

The prodigal son did not work for His Father’s love and acceptance, in fact he actually wasted his inheritance but received Grace from His Father, it was undeserved. This is grace, undeserved, unearned.

The elder son on the other hand worked for His Father out of obligation and felt bitter when the Father provided the best for His undeserving son. This is living under the law, working for God’s love.

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If my blog has helped you and you would like to contribute and sow a seed into this ministry, please click the links below. God bless you and thank you! 

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I’m Not Brave, He is Reliable

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I’m not brave, no not all the time.

I feel scared and tired. What is the future going to hold? I’m tired of putting my heart out there, open. I’m tired of approaching strangers, putting myself out there. There are times I feel my heart tense and unable to move on. I’ve been traveling with the spirit, relying on God alone. I have to trust completely. I trust God continually with the finances needed to continue.

It is in these moments I know I have to cry, to process.

I’m not brave, God is just reliable.

People always tell me you’re so brave to do that. I guess, but many times I do it scared. I do it knowing that God will back me up and He has not failed me once. 

Even at times when I’m completely lost in a foreign and even supposedly dangerous area, the Lord sent an angel to me to help me. These are often strangers.

In my honest I say to God “I’m scared as hell” and I cast my burdens on Him. 

So people ask me what my plans are, I don’t have plans, I have a God who I am following.

Total submission to the Spirit. Living in His power alone. 

I am just trusting on a God who is really 100% reliable. So don’t call me brave, call God reliable.

People don’t live in the miracles or walk in the power of the Spirit because they choose not to trust God. Favor and Grace is poured out when we have a need, and often times when we live in our own flesh- we make things happen on our own…so why do we need God?

When we can make things happen on our own, we don’t need God. And that is why some people I talk to say why should they believe in God? Why should they rely on Him?

I guess sometimes you need to be driven to your knees to see you need God.

As for me, I have seen that my ways led me to nowhere, to only striving and stress, to sickness. 

I don’t live a safe life, I live a bold life.

Everyday I have no idea what will happen. It’s an adventure. Sometimes I meet challenges and I’m like God, I can’t but then He says “with me all things are possible”.

I wrote this on my facebook the other day. I was scared, oh yah. There was a storm coming to Thailand and two flights to Kuala Lumpur had already been canceled. 

Wow. What happened today was like a whirlwind. I prayed for a few people in the morning- so I got to the airport, suddenly the gate was changed, then the flight was canceled. Then I met a kind man named jimmy.
I was praying God let us fly!
I pray for a sick girl.
An hour later, I’m sitting down and a Filipino lady sits near me. I tell her I’m a missionary and offer to pray for her. I’m praying and keep hearing “new chapter and hope restored” she’s weeping and I’m rubbing her back praying over her. I would not have met her if my flight wasn’t canceled as she was waiting for another flight.

Moments later I hear the staff announcing something I run over and she says only the first 40 shall board the next flight.

I’m like Jesus.
I get in. 4 hours later we are on our next flight. I sit next to an Aussie and find he is christian. I pray over him and see him flying and beginning again, he says he just moved and bought a house.

Moments later I notice a Chinese man is groaning. I ask him what’s wrong he says he has flight anxiety so I pray over him and tell him Jesus is watching over him. He can’t even eat. But after some words, he’s calm and eats. He is better. I said I see an angel on this flight, God will not let anything happen.

A girl on the plane tells his dad she had nightmares and I offer to pray for her. Her dad says okay.
So it’s too late and I can only carpool with someone so I ask for Jimmys help. But I try to get money from an ATM and my card doesn’t work. For some reason. Then jimmy says – come I’ll send you home and we carpool on a grab. Favor. Favor. Favor.

55 O death, where is your victory?
    O death, where is your sting?[a]

56 For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. 57 But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:55-57

 

Sow a seed into the kingdom of Heaven and souls, thank you in advance and to all those who have already given! 

It’s Time To Go Home Prodigal Sons and Daughters. Why God Closes Doors?

Bus rides give me a lot of inspiration, especially since I never buy SIM cards when I’m traveling.

This popped in my mind-

“God will close a door or cause you to be ‘unsuccessful’ if it will prevent you from a lifetime of living like an unloved orphan”.

Whoa.

This happened to me. I never felt like I was enough. I was freelancing and working after I quit my full time job in fashion. I started selling jewelry, after I branched out and started teaching sewing, mandarin, cello. I was always an entrepreneur. I was multi- talented.

It was actually God who led me to these different industries, real estate, fashion, acting.

I had interests and passions in all of them but I needed to know my identity.

That is why Jesus told me to sell everything and follow Him. To lay my life and dreams down for His house and His kingdom.

Because the american dream is an orphan dream. It says that the most wonderful thing is to become independent, to own a house, have a family, be successful in your career- it’s an orphan dream though if you are living out of woundedness, rejection or an orphan spirit.

An orphan spirit says that you are all alone and no one loves you.

An orphan spirit often isolates you and perhaps you haven’t talked to your parents out of woundedness.

You see many people living this way, always talking about who hurt them. They seem successful on the outside but they are bitter and alone.

I was that way. I had a facade, I just wanted to show my mom I could make it on my own- to prove her wrong.

But when Jesus told me to sell everything and follow Him- He led me home. And even though I had to hear the “I told you so speech” and the many accusations of being a failure in life- it was the first time I ever got money from my mom. It was the first time I really learned how to communicate my feelings with her.

God was teaching me what it means to be a child of God. To be a child in general.

And then I could move on and minister to others who live out of an orphan spirit.

I’ve told many people on this trip to go home – many prodigal sons who are trying to make it on their own. Many sons and daughters who feel ashamed and like a failure.

But you need to go home to mend the wounds of abandonment, rejectedness.

If you don’t heal from those wounds you will live your life forever out of an orphan heart.

Most likely you will not have a healthy marriage because you are still angry at your parents so you take it out on your spouse.

It’s time to go home and face the pain. The truth is your parents are wounded too, that is why they couldn’t give you the love you needed.

But you can’t run forever.

I’m glad God caused all the doors to close. I never sold a house in real estate though I did leasing and property management. I never booked a big commercial or tv show though I did star in reality shows.

He wanted me to know my identity in Him alone, not in my career or accomplishments.

He wanted me to live in grace alone and understand what it means to be a child of God so I can set others free from feelings of failure or “not enough”.

I am more powerful than I’ve ever felt because my identity is on solid rock.

Sow a seed- Your giving makes changing lives possible as I minister to and share the gospel of grace to people in the world!

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Free From Debt and Living In God’s Abundance

I’m going to share a lot of things on this blog post. I felt the Lord wanted me to help people get free from guilt and condemnation having to do with finance. It will NOT be what you expect. What I tell you will not be anything anyone has ever preached.

The time when the Lord told me to sell everything and follow Him, I was still paying credit card payments. Having been an entrepreneur, I accrued some debt. Well, I lived under torment and guilt everyday. If you recall my story of following Jesus, I had given my last $200 as an offering when he asked me “whose house are you building, yours or mine?”

I was staying at my friend’s house also helping with her spiritual life.

The Lord told me to stop making payments on my credit cards.

Now that seems contrary to what we are told. But the Lord will tell you things that make no sense at first.

A song came on that day “I’ve paid your debt”. Jesus has paid your debt.

It was the most freeing feeling I’ve ever felt. There are many people that have had common experiences but are afraid to tell their stories. Just a week before that a friend was telling me how God supernaturally waived her debt and of other financial miracles.

When I couldn’t pay my rent any longer it was a friend who said “I slept in a car with my 2 sons” that made me feel like wow, I’m not the only one.

There’s a lot of shame and condemnation having to do with finances. And perhaps that is why God is having me write this.

In all honesty, there are times I fear lack. I’m out here on international land and I have to trust God completely with finances. I am feeding God’s sheep, sharing God’s love with the world and sometimes that is scary not knowing when a donation will come in.

When I first started out, I was living at my mom’s house. When God told me to get going, to book a ticket, I didn’t know how I was going to survive. In Taiwan, my dad helped me and I thought I was going to continue being a missionary/pastor there but the Lord said “keep going, there are assignments for you”.

I went to Korea, there I basically ran out of money and had to use my credit card. Up until then living with my mom, every month my bills were paid but now I had to really trust God.

I hadn’t come out yet as a full time minister and missionary as I still felt a lot of fear of judgement. Before when I fundraised for mission trips, I was met with the religious spirit. People told me “you don’t go to my church anymore, I won’t support you”.

In South Africa I had about $20 when the Lord said “it’s time to come out”. So I put myself out there, I realized that I was worthy of my calling and that I was changing and saving lives every day. And even if judgement comes I am righteous in God’s eyes.

That night the Lord told me to pray for a lady in the bathroom and He told me to give most of what I had left. I prophesied over her that she is enough, that she lacked nothing as she is a child of God.

We were crying and hugging each other. A friend of mine asked why I would give when I was in need.

It’s breaking off the spirit of lack and the fear of lack. God’s ways make no sense to the world but it’s says “seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you”.

Up until my entrepreneurial days, I was living my own dreams asking God to bless it but His kingdom was sort of secondary. I wanted to spread the gospel my way- through the success of my career.

But He had to strip me of my own capabilities, my own ability, my own independent so that I could preach GRACE alone. Grace is not something I can do on my own, grace is God doing it for me.

Some will never see the heavenly kingdom I am sowing into, but they will never reap what they haven’t sowed.

I was surprised when the first seeds started coming in. I realized that I had underestimated myself. That I was hiding and hoping that people will see my worth and worth in my purpose.

My credit card has since stopped working and I live solely off the provisions of the Lord, trusting Him as my provider and shepherd.

The truth is my calling and purpose is connected to billion of souls. What I breakthrough, others who are connected to me will breakthrough in. Whatever miracles I see in my lifetime, if they are connected to me, they will see also.

I am the only Asian woman I know who has followed Jesus in this way- selling everything to follow Him in trust.

Sure, I know some white people who’ve done it. I know Jackie pullinger. I know some missionaries in the past- but not many Asian women, if any. If you know them; please tell me.

So if you believe that Jesus writes down your name when you sow a seed, consider sowing a seed today.

I know a lot of what I write may seem contrary to what preachers preach and no one has told their story like I have- but trust me this.

God is out to free you- not condemn you.

The Lord told me “use what you have and more will be given to you”. That’s faith.

God is stretching my faith this year. There are people that needs to be reached by me, in countries that I will need to get to. I believe God will provide for His kingdom work.

Will you be a kingdom warrior sowing into the lives of people?

Sow a seed- Your giving makes changing lives possible as I minister to and share the gospel of grace to people in the world!

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

I believe your giving breaks off the spirit of lack and causes God to multiply what you give to Him.