One of the bravest thing you can do is to face your fear of intimacy. I spent many years alone because I was scared to get hurt or I had a fear of abandonment. But when I started to face it I saw that crazy fights happen and love was not clean, pretty or quiet. It was loud, rambunctious, scary at times, but a lot of it was me feeling the fear of intimacy.
I used to be an independent woman looking down on others who wanted a relationship or wanted love. But I realize I was afraid of intimacy, I was afraid to get hurt, I was afraid of love.God showed me that love is beautiful, even though it’s messy and scary at times. The fear of intimacy comes up for me everyday. I’m petrified of love.
But I’ve learned not to judge peoples’ process, relationship……being single is easy. It was easy for me to not say how I feel to anyone, to keep things to myself. It was easy to not get attached to anyone, it was easy not having a fear of intimacy….because I didn’t need to get close to anyone.Being vulnerable and honest is difficult, saying that you miss someone, saying you feel insecure is hard. But that’s the beauty of love.
Love gives you compassion, patience, grace, it’s not legalistic.
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