Caring For Your Soul- How To Release False Responsibility


(Some Divine encounters from the week. God told me to go to SD and I got on a train 15 minutes before the train left, these two guys sat across me and turned out they were Christian. We prayed together and I got to prophesy over them. On top- I met the owner of a cafe while sitting there and got to share about Jesus and my testimony. She was shocked by the accuracy of the prophesy. Right- I met on the street the founder of Black Lives Matter Pasadena. I said to her “you give so much to everyone, you deserve to receive too.” It was super epic. These are only a few of the many encounters I had this week as the holy spirit led me).

Recently I’ve been processing somethings in my life. I didn’t realize it but I was blaming myself for something and because of that false guilt and false responsibility, I started to feel paranoid about being completely obedient to God, because if I wasn’t and if they didn’t get the message, what if someone dies? 

My friend had a motorcycle accident with her boyfriend and her boyfriend passed away. It was a shock to me. But suddenly I felt guilt creep in. Why? Because I had told her a few times that God was telling her to go to another state and city. I told her over a span of a few months. I felt guilty that I wasn’t about to get the point across, and then I was mad that she didn’t listen (if you are reading this know that it is not your fault).

God started to show me this week I started to get paranoid about being perfect in following Holy Spirit. I became paranoid and like a perfectionist.

I was thinking about how that pastor killed himself. I bet he had a lot of self-hate and blame. Some people say “pastors or televangelists just want peoples’ money” but not enough money in this world (even if they offered someone billions of dollar) can compensate for the amount of stress you go through. 

So no one could ask me to be Joel Osteen, I don’t want to be in his spot. I can’t imagine what he goes through. I used to criticize pastors and I never wanted to be one, but then God called me to be a pastor to lost sheep so I ended up starting my own ministry.

To be in the limelight, to be exposed to critical people? That’s another level and it takes guts to be there, you have to be so firm in the righteousness of God. 

Ministers take on emotional and spiritual loads and they have to find a way to give it to God. The mistake I make is that I think it’s my responsibility and my burden and sometimes I put all the burden on myself….and I forget, no, it’s not my load. I’ve got to surrender peoples’ problems to God.

Pastors need more help than anyone else because they are constantly hearing about peoples’ problems and often are not compensated for it. In fact, some of the pastors I know have debt and do not make a good living. I know how that feels to over give of my energy and time.

I also need to learn when to stop and minister to my own soul. 

Throughout this week, I hear about peoples’ daughters, I hear about peoples’ financial stress, I hear about abusive fathers, I hear about deaths, I hear about things I really wish I didn’t know about. So I have to be careful what I absorb. I have to ask God “is this person my assignment?” and “am I over helping?”

Sometimes we over help to compensate for the past or a past regret of not being able to change someone’s past. 

I can’t change the past for my friend. I wrote “take risks and take chances” on my facebook wall and she replied “we did! And he died!” Well what am I supposed to respond to that. Is my advice the reason he died? No. Absolutely not. And is her not listening to me the reason he died? No. Is it my fault he died? No.

At the end of the day, we don’t know the end from the beginning. But we can’t live life in fear.

I am not responsible for anyone. I can do my best to prophesy, but it’s peoples’ job to listen. If they don’t listen, it’s also not God’s fault that something bad happens, it’s the devil’s fault. Jesus’ blood has ultimately covered us so it’s not our obedience that gains the blessing, but Jesus’ perfect obedience to the cross. 

If God is telling us to do something, it’s to give us freedom and set us free from whatever fear is holding us back. He never tells us something to control or punish us. And He will never punish you for not listening…however the enemy does have an open door if we are not aligned with His purposes. For example, if we are doing drugs when we know better, we are allowing the influence of certain spirits to attack us. If we are living in active disobedience to God, it is preventing us from living in the freedom God paid for us to have. But it is only GRACE that compels us to follow God, not condemnation. 

I told my friend, the purpose of prophesy is not so we can ask God to shield us from “pain”, it’s so we can learn to walk with God and trust God through the pain, joys and unknown. He does not PROMISE us a painless life, we are not robots! But He promises to be there to mend our wounds.

I’m not superwoman, I’m just a human and I need to learn to take care of my needs and desires. It’s so easy to take on more than God has intended for us.

If you are a minister, pastor, prophet, missionary, therapist….

  1. Take time to be by yourself and separate your junk from other peoples’ problems.
  2. Pray “dear God I’ve heard all these problems from people, please I now cast it to you and let me not hold onto them as if they are my own”.
  3. Pray in tongues if you know how, if not ask God for the gift of tongues.
  4. Do whatever you need to to decompress and release…watch comedy, go for a run, get a massage, read the bible, hang out with friends.
  5. You need to know you are worthy of rest, care and love. You need it as much as other people. You are worthy to receive.

I pray that today God will lift off any false guilt or responsibility to take care of others and I pray that you will learn to separate your soul from others’ so you are not burdened by their problems. I pray and lift up all those I’ve helped in the past years that they would go to you for help God. 

If this post has helped you- consider giving a love offering- thank you so much! Your offering says to me that you value and support what I do and it is a mark of thanksgiving.

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Prophetic vision- don’t look back!!! Run as if your life depended on it!

I saw myself start a race and I’m sprinting and receiving batons from each person as I run. However my mother is behind me asking me “where are you going?” “What are you doing?” And for some of you it’s false responsibility and false guilt, it’s your exes, it’s old mindsets like fear that is preventing you from moving forward.
Each time false guilt tries to whisper in my ears it’s like a rubber band snapping me back and I’m back to where I started. It’s the fear of missing out, it’s “accusation” and condemnation!

Guys and girls!!!! This is not from God!
It’s the devil trying to stop you from moving into your promised land. If it feels like guilt it ain’t God. God is the one leading you, do not let other peoples’ expectations or accusations lead your life! Who are you look at? God or people? What is your focus on? What people are saying or what God is saying?

You need to fight the voice by saying “I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, I deserve happiness, I am not responsible for them” then run and do not look back!” You are righteous in God’s eyes.


Breaking Off False Responsibility and Guilt

Prophetic word- Into The New – breaking off false responsibility and guilt.

There is false resistance trying to get your attention with what God wants for your life right now, false responsibility. Lately I felt like I “should” spend time with my mom but as soon as I obeyed and went on the Uber ride I realize there was a voice of obligation telling me to stay home. I had a super deep talk with the Uber driver who was also Christian and we prayed for each other.

The voice of obligation sounds like this-

1. Maybe I’ll miss out on something if I don’t spend time with ________.

2. I’m being a bad friend, daughter, mom, father, minister if I don’t do this __________.

3. I’m probably trying to escape responsibility and I “should” do this _____.

4. I’m being unloving if I don’t do this _____.

These are all voices of the spirit of condemnation and guilt. When you live from grace you do things out of desire not guilt.

One reason that I realized I was living in false guilt is I wanted to make a podcast and when I did I felt so happy, but when I went back into the house my mom has this look like “why are you neglecting me?”

I realize I was trying to cater to her needs and other peoples’ needs that I neglected my own desires and needs. I was so distracted from what I actually wanted to do.

Remember what people feel has nothing to do with you.

No one can make you feel a certain way unless you give them permission to do so.

Repeat out loud-

I am not responsible for ___________ (list the names).

I am responsible for my own happiness as I am worthy of happiness. God’s grace is more than enough for me.

I cannot blame anyone for not pursuing what it is I want to do!

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Introducing!!!! 🥳🎉 The Bex Show Podcast


I’ve thought about having a real podcast for a long time, though I have episodes on SoundCloud.

First off- I’m no professional.

I used an iPhone to record this and I had no script for the episode. But I won’t apologize because I’m just glad I put something out there.

I also recorded this in the back of my mom’s car for silence. And if you’re wondering, I used anchor, which was super easy tool to use.

Please subscribe and follow!!!

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Thanks for listening 👂.

God bless you!

Here’s a tip – you learn from doing not from preparing. Just do it. Whatever you want to do. No one came out of the womb perfect.

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A Prophet’s Job


Jesus drew near and said to them, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Go, then, to all peoples everywhere and make them my disciples: baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teach them to obey everything I have commanded you. And I will be with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20)

When they finished praying, the place where they were meeting was shaken. They were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to proclaim God’s message with boldness. (Acts 4:31) It didn’t say they went to seminary and then proclaim God’s message! It said they were FILLED with the Holy Spirit! WOOHOOO!!!!

Do not restrain the Holy Spirit; (1 Thessalonians 5:19)

God poured out the Holy Spirit abundantly on us through Jesus Christ our Savior (Titus 3:6)

“Ask her for a donation”- God

ugh, God serious? I know she’s going to yell.

After 30 minutes, “mom would you like to make a donation?”

“Again!?”- mom.

“When will you get a real job”, says mom.

“Mom, it’s not because I really need it, but God told me to ask. He knows you’ve been worrying about money and He wants to let you know He is your father and He will provide”.

He is breaking off the fear of lack.

“If you really want to be a missionary, you should go to seminary!”

“mom, the Holy Spirit speaks through me”.

“Lots of people have accepted Jesus or been changed by my ministry”.

“still you need proper training” – Says mom

This is the same round about argument I have with her. I know that she might never get it but I believe small seeds are being planted. I’m not as scared anymore about what she thinks, I know the same arguments come about from this discussion.

“You know God blesses those who give to the carriers of grace?” 

Here’s a question and accusation I hear from people (or that my friend said a lot of hurt christians say)- “I hate televangelist who try to take money from people”, “they must be a false prophet if they ask for money”.

Whenever accusation comes in that form it’s usually because there is a stronghold of poverty spirit or a spirit of lack in that person. 

I am so grateful for God blessings lately; to be honest I don’t know how to explain it but just to say God provides for His children. I wanted a laptop for 5 years, I went without one for 5 years, using my phone to type blog posts and I was recently blessed with one. It is all by God’s grace.

The biggest blessing recently is another woman I met who has the same heart for lost sheep and we’ve been going out and have ministered to people. I’m SO HAPPY TO SEE HER FLOWING WITH THE Holy Spirit like I am and loving the people GOD HAS called us to love. Many are wounded sheep that have left the church.

The other day God told me to go to a church in Koreatown, I took an uberpool and the guy was a Christian man from China. However, he said he became christian when it was illegal in China. He often went to church secretly at night. I told him how I followed Jesus and often not knowing how I would survive. He gave me a look like “dang I am convicted”, but when I said I was a prophet he said he didn’t agree with this thinking.

Then after 5 minutes in Church, I felt the Lord say “go”. I went out and saw a bus. It was waiting for me! I jumped on and then heard God say to get off. I saw another bus and thought I would go to Hollywood. Now there was a lady with an Equinox bag and I was seriously intrigued. Who is this lady? I asked if she went to Equinox and she said yes. I had been thinking about Equinox all week but didn’t know if it was worth getting a membership.

Turns out she was going to a class so I went with her. She told me she was divorced and living alone. She asked if I had a job and I said I did Christian ministry. She said “I used to go to catholic school growing up!”

Anyhow, I took a barre class for 30 minutes and left as I felt my assignment was finished. I walked out and noticed a farmer’s market. After coming to the end of the street I saw a woman at a vendor stall, she said “omg I know you!” It turns out we met a few years back at someone’s wedding and she grew up as a missionary kid.

I took my miso soup to eat near an urban outfitters and felt led to talk to a man. I prayed over him and saw him preaching! He said he never thought about doing that.

Later on I took another bus and God said to get off. I took an uberpool and met another Christian girl, giving some advice about being confident. Later I was talking to the driver and turns out he grew up christian but then became an urban Shaman.


A prophet- 

  1. Cannot be afraid of what people think.
  2. Job is to bring down demonic strongholds that bind people in fear (fear of lack, judgement, rejection, death, etc)
  3. Is not in allegiance with men, but always listens to God’s voice.
  4. Should not give in to spirit of intimidation (which comes in form of people- sometimes relatives or family that accuse or condemn you)
  5. Will often encounter a spirit of lack that tells them “you’re not enough”, “you don’t have the words to say”, “you don’t have enough money”, “you can’t do this” – you have authority and anointing to cast out that spirit, but you will grow in discernment when this spirit tries to come against you.
  6. IS A MOUTHPIECE FOR GOD so cannot “doubt”, but must speak loudly what God is saying without fear.
  7. Breaks off fear by doing or speaking.
  8. Is often asked to do strange things that people may judge or reject but again your sole allegiance is to Jesus, no one else.

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Arise Pioneers Online Class

Videos every week to help you overcome the obstacles to living your dreams –

1. Overcome fear, rejection, judgment, lack by reclaiming your identity!

2. Rewire your spirit and brain for success

3. Empowering videos to change your life and break you free of fear and blockages

4. Actionable steps and worksheets to write down your vision and create a blueprint to your achieving and living your dreams

5. Prophetic word for each individual

6. Impartation of faith and anointing to step into your wildest dreams

Coaching videos will be posted on Facebook group. You will have unlimited access to it!

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This is an opportunity to connect with me and get the help you need to step out of fear and live the courageous life God has called you to.

Dreamers and pioneers- it’s time to come out of hiding!

Have you been wanting to start a blog? Have you been wanting to write a book? Have you been wanting to start a ministry or business? Have a dream to be in Hollywood? Want to go back to school?

Often it’s not the steps that scare us, but the fears or the possibility of failure or judgment.

My job is to help you name the lies and delete the hindrances! And set you free to soar!

Fears are spiritual blockages, they are strongholds that keep us in confinement but God wants to set you free. There are limiting beliefs that say you’re not good enough but we will confront the beliefs that hinder you from moving into your promised land.

I will speak about personal experiences and impart the breakthroughs that have set me free to set you free!

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Please email me if you have any questions, please include a note on the payment with your email and contact info.

Prophetic Dream- Why Living In Desire Will Lead You To Your Husband/Wife

I had a dream where I was following a guy to go eat but he was leading me to this dark shack and I decided to turn back as I didn’t feel safe. Later on I was flushing down a water bucket that had tiny cockroaches in it.

Then I asked this guy where I should wash my clothes and he gave me a key. He said laundry was free and he gave me the keys. But someone was yelling at me, my heart was alive for some reason. I was close to the guy I liked.

When I woke up I had a sense that my heart felt so full.

Living the life you want comes from a deep rooted belief that you are worthy.

When you don’t feel worthy of love, you sabotage any chance at happiness.

For example, you want to buy something you like but you don’t because you think it’s a waste of money.

You want to go to an event but instead of going you say “it’s too far”.

I realized before if I was with my mom and I wanted to buy something she’d say “no it cost too much” and I’d explain to myself “it’s okay you don’t need it”.

It’s not that we need to get everything we want to be happy- but when we do the act of self love to say “yes” to ourselves- we are saying to ourselves “I deserve to have what I want”.

When I was overseas, I had so much hardship I could barely buy a meal at times and I’d ask God why I had to be the one to find lost sheep and minister to people I’d probably never see. I was like Elijah, God would often pin point who I had to ask for a meal and it would be someone I needed to prophesy to.

The truth is God was building strength, courage, tenacity, boldness, love, patience, anointing in me.

But it was so hard I often felt that God was trying to deprive me of what I wanted.

Yet in this season God is flushing out the old season and saying “you’ve gone through it….now you’ll be strengthened in love, in desire”.

Every time I say yes to myself- go see the movie I actually want to see, eat what I want, do what I want, I’m closer to my heart.

I’m not going to deny you of your desires, say yes to yourself this season says the Lord because saying yes will lead you to the man/woman after your heart.

You will not meet your husband/wife being miserable. It’s usually when you don’t care to even meet them that you’ll meet him/her.

Follow the desires of your heart and don’t let anyone tell you you can’t or shouldn’t.

Maybe you want to exercise- that’s leading you to your life partner. Maybe you want to go to the beach, maybe your man is at the beach.

Don’t make finding your spouse a goal- enjoy your life and he/she will meet you at the intersection of heart and desire for he/she is after your heart. And is one of your desires.

God is bringing us back to our hearts- not what is logical.

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Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is very important in life. When you don’t set boundaries you have codependent relationships. So I’m back In LA and it’s been a year and a half since I really lived with my mom.

I am so much more sensitive to control and fear than before. I used to hang out with my mom and start to feel weighed down or oppressed from her words of accusations, but now I have so much more discernment to walk away when it’s hurting my spirit.

I’m in a tight place right now where I know I’m transitioning into the next season and know God is aligning me with where I need to be.

Marriage is one thing God is preparing me for. Friendships is another He has been building in my life.

But the tight place of learning to love my mother but still protect my heart and spirit is vital.

Today we were spending time together and I started to feel weighed down. We wanted to do different things but she was accusing me a lot.

I told her to go home or do what she wanted as I wanted to be alone. I could feel the spirit of lack and control weigh down on me and started to pray in tongues. I try to tell her what God is saying but she thinks I’m crazy, she doesn’t believe it’s God speaking to me.

Sometimes in order to protect your heart you need to set boundaries with people who constantly thwart it. You need to learn to step away.

I headed back on a bus and felt lack so strongly I fell asleep and suddenly was jolted awake at my stop. Thank you Jesus for waking me up. I ran out the bus like whew!

Sometimes people try to control you out of fear. They feel like by controlling you they can control their own lives but it’s important to let them know that you cannot be controlled.

Don’t submit to other people, learn to wield your own power. Speak your mind and set boundaries.

Today I pray you will find your voice and speak up for yourself. I pray you find the power in God to set healthy boundaries.

It doesn’t mean you have to be isolated, it just means you can be in healthy relationships that don’t jeopardize your well being.

You need to learn to say “yes” to yourself. And sometimes no to others. You need to learn how to live your own happy life without needing peoples’ approval.

“I need to be alone right now”.

“I need space”.

Or “I want to spend time with you”.

Or “I don’t feel like talking right now”.

You have a right and agency to choose.

Some people are not safe to be around and it’s important to set even more boundaries with them. If it’s your own family, it’s important to voice your emotions to them and see if they’re willing to change to honor your heart.

I would have never moved back home if God didn’t ask me to.

I know I’ll be going places again. But for now I’m praying for the strength to stand firm and set boundaries when I need to.

Who do you need to set boundaries with in your life? If you’re interested in coaching, link is below. Cheers!

Jesus paid the price for our abundance, we are worthy of it.


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