Destroying The Pressure To Perform

Things you should know about me: 

  1.  I love to go to the Abbey, it is a gay club, and I have many friends there. I’ve had a lot of Christians ask me why I would go to a gay club. The reasons are: I love the people there, I love the people there, I love dancing, I love dancing, and I love dancing with the people I love. I love music. I love fashion. 
  2. I have smoked weed before but I do not smoke it anymore. I had a bad experience eating a weed cake in Amsterdam.
  3. I have a heart for the LGBT community because I understand the pain of being rejected.
  4. I have stopped pretending and stopped being “polite” because I say what’s on my mind most of the time now. I’m not going to pretend to be nice or kind when I’m mad now. I will be mad. I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not anymore. SO ADIOS TO THE OLD ME! 
  5. My birthday is February 11 – financial gifts and donations are welcome! (I need a new phone)

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

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Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

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Monthly Partnership- https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ! https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my…

 

Even If You Are Heart Broken, You Are Whole.

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How about ‘Open Your Heart- Come Out of Hiding’ as a 2020 resolution

Tell someone how you actually feel
Tell them they hurt you
Tell them you love or like them (even if they don’t reciprocate or don’t feel the same way)
Tell them what your heart was too scared to tell them

God will bring people to trigger you. You may want to be in the comfort of a womb, to be in control, protected…but often times we are protecting our hearts from love because we have been wounded.
It may feel annoying, you may not feel like talking to anyone, you may be wondering why a stranger is talking to you, you may start to feel anxious because you are holding the anger in, you may want to stay asleep and someone wakes you up with noise, you may wonder why someone is attacking you verbally, you may want to crawl in a hole….

But this is all good for you…

I don’t want you to be alone,
I wan’t you to be loved.

Leave me alone you may say,
But I will never leave you alone.

I feel utterly out of control but learning to let go of control and let love in. To respond authentically, not how I should, but how I really feel.

Love is scary.

You may tell someone how you feel and they may reject or judge you, they may lash out because they’re hurt. 

In the last few months I have been telling people how I feel. Sometimes people yell, sometimes they’re hurt, sometimes they respond well.

I never know what to expect. I’ve been severely hurt and wounded. But I’m learning to speak my truth.

I’ve told people that I loved them, that I liked them, and it was not reciprocated.

People have told me they want to have a relationship with me, and I’ve told them I don’t see a future.

I told my mother that it hurt that she told me to stop crying instead of comforting me when I broke up with my boyfriend at the age of 15.

I thought it was wrong to be sad. But I’ve learned sadness is part of life, we need to embrace each emotion, not skip it or say next.

Love is not love if you are only accepted at your best emotion, Love is love when you’re allowed to be yourself at each moment- emotional, sad, angry, bitter.

God accepts us whatever state we are in.

Even then we are enough.

You are whole. You are not lacking. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. You are righteous. Even if you are heart broken, you are not lacking, you didn’t lose a piece of your heart to someone, you are intact.

Remember that vision church teachers gave you? When you’re in love a part of you sticks onto that person, well the truth is grace means you are whole however broken your heart feels. You didn’t lose yourself, though it may feel like it. 

You are still whole,

you are still enough

because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

You didn’t waste time, you didn’t lose yourself, you are still whole. You didn’t do anything wrong. You are on the right path, don’t live in regret, forgive yourself.

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Here’s a fun shirt I saw at the mall, it made me laugh.

I love you all.

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien
Instagram: https://instagram.com/rebekkalien

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Cashapp-gugibabu

Monthly Partnership- https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/ Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my

 

Love Is Not Kept, It Is Experienced

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I heard God say “Love is not kept, it is experienced”.

Sometimes when we lose someone that we loved in our life, we feel like something is missing. You were never lacking, you just experienced love through this person.  You loved and you were loved. That’s divine.

Today I was going to uber somewhere and it malfunctioned. It was already noon and I hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch. I decided to take the bus.

When I walked to the back of the bus I was surprised to see a guy I previously met on the bus and ministered to. We talked and I started to feel anxiety because he kept talking about how everything is lacking. I tried to encourage him and I heard God say “don’t try to change him, just get to know him”. Well, how do I do that God when he is speaking from so much lack. I tried to tell him how I backpacked 30 countries and how there is so much in the world, dreams, visions, I wanted him to see the possibilities and not to just live for his grandparents. He would even say “well I don’t go out because then I have to spend money”.

I tried to tell him how I felt, he was like a brother to me. I realize I have the habit of trying to fix someone and I know it’s not my job to, God wants me to understand relationship, it’s about just being with someone. Love is about understanding and accepting where people are at in that moment. You need to love yourself in that way too, wherever you are, whatever state you are in, accept where you are.

The next bus I transferred to had a mentally unstable man. He had a spiderman web tattoo on his hand and AWOL tattooed to the top of his eyes, under his eyebrow. He was talking to himself.

I heard the Lord say “pray for him”, but I kind of didn’t want to. There were other people on the bus across us. Finally I made some comment. I looked him in the eye and asked what his name was. He became normal all of a sudden, I guess that is what human contact does.

He said he does meth sometimes when he is depressed, it helps him clean out.

I asked if he knew Jesus and he said not really. I prayed to cast out the spirit of suicide. He bowed his hands and put his hands together like a prayer emoji. People were watching us.

I finished praying and then he said “can we make out?”

I said “no”.

He said “I can see Jesus looking at us, smiling, saying ‘I am so proud of you two'”.

Then he started to get off the bus, he said “I love you Rebekka”.

I said “I love you two”.

He’s like “this area is just full of crime and stuff”.

Then he was off.

I felt warm in my heart. God, I know I complained when you told me to pray for him, but I get it now. It’s love. Love is to be experienced.

Sometimes we don’t want to put ourselves out there, because it’s scary, but love is to be experienced.

When you’re hurt by someone, it doesn’t mean they took anything from you. You were never lacking. When you’re hurt, when you lose someone, that’s all that is. Life.

Then more love will come, from God, from people, through people, but they are conduits of love, not someone to be kept (to be locked down, to be controlled). They are children of God, images of God, reflections of yourself.

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So while God has been bringing me to different men, to meet, to talk to, to minister to…there are some I am actually attracted to, and I find myself closing my heart because I don’t want to get attached in anyway knowing they are not my future husband…but I realize, it’s not about that, it’s about simply opening my heart to love.

I’m scared that I’ll lose someone and they’ll just disappear, like my dad.

I’m scared that I’ll get attached and suddenly they are not there anymore, and then I’ll have to feel pain. I hate the feeling of pain, no one likes pain. But that’s the beauty of love.

Experience every emotion, and then move through it. Don’t avoid the feeling. Don’t run from it. Embrace it, and then love again.

Don’t live in regret that you got hurt by someone, or that you chose to love someone….

Everything you experienced was love.

Sure, you may not have married your high school sweetheart but every person you loved was an experience of love.

Love is not kept, love is experienced.

I experience love through every stranger I meet.

Sometimes I am deeply hurt by people I minister to or are friends with. Sometimes their words pierce my heart and I want to cry. I do cry. Sometimes I weep. But all of that is my human experience, love experienced.

I never lacked anything or anyone. I don’t lose anything when I lose someone I love, because they were simply an expression of God’s love to me. 

In that way I don’t have to regret any experiences of hurt or love, I don’t have to regret even hurting myself. I learned from it, I learned to love myself.

You don’t have to be afraid of love my friends, open your heart, you will get hurt but you will be loved too. 

You may not be part of my life forever, but you are here to show me a part of God’s love. I receive that and I can freely give love too. You are not taking away anything from me. You are simply receiving love from God through me. We don’t own anyone, we don’t own our family or our friends.

This way, I can freely release you when it’s time to, if I have to. I can allow you to love whoever you choose to love. And when I lose you, I know God will send others too.

When I meet my husband, I can love from a place of abundance knowing I never lacked anyone or love, that I was always whole in God’s eyes. 

Congrats to those who are getting married soon by the way 🙂 Love you!

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Cashapp-gugibabu

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Prophetic Word- It’s A Yes & Amen

Yes and Amen

Prophetic Word- It’s A Yes And Amen

I was sitting at home and kept hearing go out to eat, I felt this feeling in my heart even if I wanted to deny it I could not.

I was trying to watch this movie called “When We First Met”. It’s about a guy who goes back in time trying to get the girl he thinks is his one but he actually realizes it is not her. But it all works out at the end. After I watched the movie I got a notification asking for a self tape for an acting project I had submitted for. I was surprised as I haven’t gotten anything for a long time.

I also got a notification that someone was trying to use my Agoda account and had tried to charge something on my old credit card. I also recently tried to use my credit card and today realized I had 2 of the same credit cards in my wallet.

One was old and I had somehow picked it up again thinking it was the new one and “transactions were denied and failed” to my surprise.

Today I destroyed the old credit card when I realized I still had the old one.

I felt like it was very symbolic of destroying old mindsets and beliefs, grief, disappointment, negativity.

That only the new could stay. I also had a dream that my debit card fell onto the floor and I picked it up (picking up your dreams that you layed down). I also had a dream where I told my brother Isaak to take out all the money from the credit card and go to Hawaii with it. I believe it is symbolic of taking out the dreams you’ve stored up to manifest them.

I was reminded of my dream yesterday where I was in Taiwan and I saw 2 kids from a popular Korean TV show (Return of the Superman). In the dream I yelled “my dreams came true!” I also had a dream where I was almost late for my flight out of Taiwan, but I had to run. Taiwan in my dreams usually mean childhood and childhood healings. I felt like God was saying you are graduating and things you’ve been praying for are about to happen.

So I went out and started running. I started to cry when I ate as I felt there were so many things that were delayed. I had just gotten an email to self tape audition for a project. I was tired of disappointments, delays but then when I went to eat, the waiter’s name was “hao”, which means YES in Chinese.

The day before a lady who I did not know gave me $3 and said “amen” 3 times, as in “YES it’s an amen, it is done”. I just passed by her at a bus stop and she suddenly handed me 3 $1 bills. She said nothing but those 3 amens. 

Then today I found this scarf and felt led to buy it. It was $3, it has faces of men on them and a German flag colors, reminding me of where I was born.

Then I felt led to sit near the front of the bus and a lady was on the phone with her husband. I asked “is it your husband?” She said “Yes”.

I felt led to get a boba drink, however, I walked around and could not feel right about any place. I’d stand in front of the cashier and linger. I did not feel it. I’d walk away, I walked away from 2 places and suddenly I thought of this strawberry smoothie. I went there and saw the manager I knew. I had not seen him for a long time (layed down dreams).

I suddenly asked “are you married?” and he said “almost, in one month”.

I felt the Lord say “it’s a YES AND AMEN” to what you’ve been waiting for.

DO NOT LINGER WHEN I CALL, FOR IN YOUR STEPS OF OBEYING THE SPIRIT YOU WILL SEE THE SIGNS of MANIFESTATION.

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MY TESTIMONY

Harvest is Coming! Sow A Seed Today!

Harvest is coming, sow a financial seed today!

I had a dream I was in a taxi car with a Nepal taxi driver, then they were bringing me to Fan Ran Gong center and I told them I was Christian, and I pointed them to a building with a cross on it. When I woke up God said have people sow, a HARVEST IS COMING! I also dreamed that I was in a car of 7 people and I was planning a birthday party in a new house. My birthday is 2/11.

Make a contribution- much love, may it be credited to your account in manifold blessings as it says in the bible. When you sow, you want to give to good soil, and this is good soil. Thank you for your partnership and love!  

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

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Cashapp-gugibabu

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Please fast forward, the front page is a bit long. LOL.

Whatever you sow into this ministry, God is going to multiply.

How To Break Off The Fear of Lack 

God has told me when I don’t ask people to give I am robbing them of the blessings connected to me, giving is an act of breaking off the fear that you don’t have enough.

“He started downloading prophetic words to me for people.

In one vision I saw doors after doors lined up and I had the key to each door. Behind each door was a captive, each person had tape over her or his mouth and chains tying their hands together. They were immobile and stuck, unable to speak.

As I opened each door to free them a provision was available for me.

I see the words “fear of lack, fear of judgment, fear of rejection, fear of failure” marked on each person. But as I had the key to free them each fear fell off as I held their hand and led them out of that room of captivity.

You are leading people out of Egypt and as you do that, you will set people free from the bondage of mammon.”

Prophetic Word- Confront The Fear

I woke up this morning feeling really paralyzed, I haven’t washed my hair for 2 days (a rare occasion), my period is coming and I realize I needed help to overcome the fear of punishment/condemnation. There was a situation that I needed to confront with my mother. I find that God uses money the most for me to confront fears. For example, asking her for money. Because that is the biggest source of worry and condemnation in her life.

We struggled with money growing up and God has sent me to live with her to help her break off the spirit and fear of lack. I had always grown up very independent but I never knew my worth as a child. I was ashamed to ask for help and prided myself in being independent.

Prophetic Word- DO THE ACTION THAT WILL CONFRONT THE FEAR 

We ask God to upgrade or promote us, but that means there are more opportunities for the public to criticize you. God will never give you more than what you can handle. Is it easy? HELL NO.
IT’S really hard.

And a big part of me wants to run and hide.

And I do, sometimes. I run and hide and I don’t want to put myself out there to be hurt or judged.

The more we can go to God to mend our wounds, the quicker we can get healed and walk forward.

When we submit to FEAR instead of listening to GOD, AS HARD AS IT IS IN THE MOMENT, we stagnate our progress.

We SO want to be in control, we want to be in a safe place emotionally, ALL THE TIME. We want to be in control of peoples’ reactions, but we can’t control them.

I pray all the time PROTECT MY HEART. But I still get hurt, I get wounded and I don’t want to get up. I want to hide.

“I’m RIGHT HERE” says the Lord.

He never left you nor forsook you.

I’m a safe place, says the Lord.

Today I pray the LORD BREAK OFF THE SPIRIT OF FEAR IN JESUS NAME. The vision I saw was a picture of me in a royal robe, a dress, I am royalty. You are royalty, nothing will phase you. You are deserving and worthy.

Knowing this, Ask God to Go with you to do the ACTION to confront the fear..

+ God may be asking you to confront a person
+ He may be asking you to step out of your comfort zone
Whatever it is, know that God is with you.
#bexprophetic

What is your BIGGEST FEAR? 

Telling people how you actually feel? Asking for help? Emotional, financial or spiritual help? Performing? Marketing yourself? Asking for a raise? Fundraising?

Please feel free to comment below. 

Partner with me today. Consider sowing $50, $100, $200, $500 or more today, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Another way to support is to purchase a shirt. I think I’ve launched this 4 times already. It failed like 4 times. But again, perseverance. Click here to purchase shirts, sweatshirts, t-shirts, tanks in different sizes.

It's so easy to stay small, to stay in our comfort zone, to do what is familiar. But flowing in the wave of the holy spirit means stepping out into the unfamiliar. YES you might hate it at times, but God will always (1)

I have not gone into everything with boldness, I’ve gone into most things feeling the FEAR, feeling the apprehension, but God eases me and says “I’ve got you”. Fear is fake, fear is a skeleton that flaps his hands, he can do no harm.

UPDATE! IN THE LAST HOUR.

My Provision Testimony – 

So I had been worrying about finances as sometimes I’m afraid to move forward or go out as I don’t see a way (in the dream I was telling a friend that there was a deficit I had to pay off from last year) and then God gave me a dream where I was opening books (different books and each one had cash inside) and there was Taiwanese money inside one book, but I had left it somewhere.

In the dream the water in the pool became a slide. The water rose up and went down. And people were sliding down into this safe place.

And then this morning someone who lives in Taiwan sowed a seed. It was the exact amount I saw in the dream.

LOL.
Jesus.

So I don’t know what you are going through, God may not provide everything you need for a month, but He may provide what you need for the day.

Don’t live in fear because you don’t see a way for a few days, if He has given you enough for today, move forward in courage and live your life flowing with the Holy Spirit.

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Love Letter From God- You Are A Child

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Dear Child,

You know how kids run around? They throw tantrums, they draw on the wall, they fall and run, they spill juice? I want you to be like that. I want you to freely talk to strangers and not be afraid of judgement or rejection. You are free. You are wild. Be that. Now I am setting you free from many fears that you’ve accrued in your life.

You got rejected by a class mate, you tried to be friendly to someone on the street, they yelled at you. You became afraid, you tried to hide. 

You were betrayed by friends, you failed math or chemistry, you started to feel like a failure. You could never meet your parents’ expectations, life wore you down and you kind of just gave up. 

Well, I want you to know that you are perfect in my eyes, run around again- Like that free kid. 

And maybe you never got that kind of childhood, but I’m teaching you now. Hey you have freedom to be a child. I will never yell at you. I will never criticize you. I will only pick you up when you fall. I will give you a hug and say “I love you, I’m so proud of you for trying, I love those drawings on the wall.

I’m not concerned about the dirt on your pants or the dirt in your hair, keep climbing trees freely. I’m not concerned about the couch, it’s just a couch. Jump freely on it.

I know they told you you had to sit still in church, but you can dance if you want.

I know there are times for discipline as a good father disciplines his children, but not in the way of judgement or condemnation, I will love you to me.

You are not all knowing, and that’s okay. You didn’t know that you would get hurt or that you would get into an accident, that’s okay. Keep living in freedom, don’t be afraid to try again. Your parents said “you should’ve known” but you didn’t. You were just living in freedom.

My children know their identity and they are free. Maybe you don’t feel like a child sometimes, maybe you are afraid to fail, maybe you are afraid of rejection, but do you know that I love you so much? 

It doesn’t matter that they reject you, you are so loved by me. I have so much love for you.

Come to me and come walk with me. I’m always by your side, I have never left you. Why do you think that I left you when all this time I was by your side? I am not people that I should leave you. There are times and seasons and not everyone is supposed to be there at all times, life is complex and there are seasons people need to move on and you need to move on from them too.

And that’s okay, because you will make new friends.

Children do whatever they feel like, they don’t sit there waiting for their dads to tell them what to do, they live in freedom. 

Of course I will guide you through your desire, I will give you directions to lead you to great things because I can see things ahead of you. But these are not instructions to limit you but to surprise you, to bless you. 

These are instructions to guide you so we keep walking with each other as you learn to trust me continually, you learn my character, you learn that I am reliable, that I am trustworthy.

I will never force you to do something you don’t want to. But as you trust and walk with me, you’ll see my heart of love for you. 

You are walking in your true identity as a child of God. You need nothing else. It’s so much fun, let’s also have fun together. Let’s break barriers and let’s go on adventures. 

You are enough, you’ve done enough, you are perfect in my eyes because of Jesus sacrifice. You don’t have to do things you don’t like anymore.

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To partner and give- thank you for your love and support. I could not have done it without your support this year. Thank you to the friends that I call family now. I love you all, Rebekka.

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/