I Love You

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“There’s a scared place in our hearts only God can fill. When we come into divine romance with God, we realize nothing and no one else can fill that space.”

Two nights ago I had a dream that I was in Taiwan on a chinese tour and I was flying from Taipei to LA but I wanted to stay longer so I can see a friend. After that I started to ask God if I was supposed to go to Taiwan and last night I kept hearing go. But then I also heard familiar spirit so I prayed to cast out any voices that may not be God.

I started feeling anxious as I tried to figure it out. I went into a clay sauna at the korean spa and lay down, suddenly I saw a vision of myself running away from love, wanting to hide. This was not about a place, but the place in my heart. 

“It’s too much”. Sometimes it’s easier to be rejected, abused than to allow love in. Why? 

I’m not sure, maybe some people are scared of disappointing people or scared of that love, that maybe it’s too painful to feel love. How is it possible? Maybe because if you haven’t felt that in your life, it overwhelms you and you start thinking “why now?”

I told my friend that sometimes we’d rather be with people who abuse us than to get close to the people who will actually tell us the truth or we can be ourselves around. 

So I lay there and suddenly God invaded my heart and told me over and over again “I love you, I love you, I love you”. 
 
Stop running away from love. 
This is too good to be true, we’d think. We’d rather not realize what we desire than to accept it, why? Because we are scared to be disappointed. So we run, we run towards abuse, we run towards the counterfeit. We run towards those who cannot give us love. Because we don’t think we deserve love.
But now, you deserve it. You deserve the friends that will ugly cry with you, the ones you don’t have to hide your emotions with. Now you deserve the ones who won’t tell you to go away when your face is long. Now you deserve those who will accept you the way you are, whenever. You deserve those who will accept your emotions.
The ones who you don’t always have to be cheerful around….the ones you can actually be imperfect around. The ones who will allow you to cry and be imperfect…the ones you don’t need to go and have alone time when you are too sad to be a friend with. 
Do you feel it? Singles, you’re about to meet that one that will love you as you are, but are you willing to let go of that which is not love?
Are you willing to let God love you first?

I love you 

I don’t want a sacrifice, I want your heart

I want your heart 

The one you keep trying to protect 

The one you keep hard, gate closed, locked and bolted

The years of silence built up, each minute, each month, each year of silence that he/she didn’t speak to you – another layer of callus, harder your heart became, like solid concrete

No, you said.

Not today

“God, You’re just like my dad” you thought

And then they came, more people who were just like your dad, people with hard hearts like yours, people unable to give love

People you had to chase and pursue, people you kept knocking at their doors, people who abused you, people who neglected and abandoned you, people who didn’t know how to love themselves or love others

The cycle

But I trusted you God

But people are broken and imperfect

They are not me

Will you trust me again? Me your father?

Not your biological dad but Papa the heavenly one

Redeemed

I saw you holding me up as a baby and you were so proud of me

You carried me on your back and ran and I didn’t have to do anything

I could just rest

I lost sight of our relationship while trying to do things for you, trying to help others, trying.

Suddenly I got confused and I lost myself in serving. That voice telling me to go, it was no longer yours but a voice of obligation.

I didn’t want to anymore, I was drained. I was beat up and bruised by peoples’ words. I tried to feed those who didn’t want to be fed. They turned and trampled the pearls of wisdom, tearing me to shreds.

Their words hurt.

So I shut my heart down because then I wouldn’t have to feel.

And my dad disconnected again.

So then again layers of self protection. I went about my days busy to avoid the emotions. Where am I going and what am I doing God.

Anything but feeling.

But finally I lay on my back staring at the ceiling.

Okay I’ll cry.

I forgot that all I need is you.

I don’t need to go anywhere or do anything. I don’t need to dream or fulfill my dreams. I don’t need to fly or drive. I don’t need another divine appointment.

I just need you. Your words and your presence. I don’t need to do anything, I don’t need to achieve anything.

I’m enough. You’re enough for me. 

Sow a Seed (make a donation)-
Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes.

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

YOU ARE ENOUGH NEW PODCAST

Book A Mobile Coaching Session 

PS- Shout out to G. for your donation. May God bless you. This is a testimony, I was actually lying on the floor being transparent with God, crying my eyes out when I received a contribution. I haven’t received a contribution from someone on my blog for a long time so (assuming you are a reader) I was surprised. But it was like God showing me I am your father, and He used a male to show me that image of grace. Thank you.

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Stop Faking Fine- How To Be Yourself And Be Emotionally Vulnerable

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Adam and Eve were not ashamed. And they were naked. They were vulnerable, they did not know sin, they did not know shame.

But then sin came, oh no we’ve done something wrong, we have a fear of being judged. 

Today I realized that I was numb in my heart because I was suppressing feelings of pain. I felt pain because everytime I go to Taiwan I try to connect with my dad but then when I come back to America it’s a disconnect, it’s like I don’t even exist. Before I didn’t talk to or see my dad for 10 years. 

Brene Brown talks about how the most evasive betrayal is not cheating, but neglect. Neglect and the silence.

That disconnect created a pain in my heart that increased by the day, but I didn’t realize I was feeling this. So God brought father figure divine appointments into my life, some were in Mexico, some that I met in LA, some on the airplane. They were all male figures comforting my heart. God brought father figures throughout my whole life.

I felt more and more depressed as I lay there after watching a show’s live taping today.

The issues:

  1. A family that was searching for the grandma who abandoned her son. The son had depression and killed himself.

As I watched my heart started to feel immense pain and I started crying. 

Growing up I tried to be perfect in my mother’s eye, I didn’t want to be a burden as she was already stressed out as a single mother.

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So I became the model citizen. I got good grades, excelled in school, won awards, I was a first chair cellist, I was a youth leader, I was esteemed but deep down no one noticed I was actually depressed. I had a sorrow in my heart I could not express and no one asked.

I took care of my own emotional needs through achievement, busy-ness, and when I was tired of striving, masturbation.

Since I could not feel anything emotionally, and I did not want to feel pain I learned how to feel emotions through physical gratification. I was very young and often neglected by my mother, left alone at the age of 5 inside a house by myself. I found that I could grind on my pelvis and I would feel good.

Later my mother told me that she had to put me in a worker’s storage room so she could work and that from 0-1 years old I was raised by my nanny. I started to feel like a ghost, a living body with no soul. No one to connect to.

But when I was 12 years old I felt God’s love and accepted Jesus into my heart. I started to be guided by Him and I felt His love when I could feel nothing else. And yet….church was another thing, they encouraged PERFORMANCE over CONNECTION.

They encouraged us to perform, thinking that if we performed well people would see Jesus in us. They used theology, they used books, but what people really needed was to feel love. They used rules and regulations. There was no grace.

I felt unloved and more over, I was encouraged to PERFORM.

And so PERFORM I did. I performed and achieved in church.

And I was exhausted.

So striving became my default because when you’re busy there is no time to feel. And when you have no time to feel, you don’t have to feel the pain in your heart.  The world is that way, full of busy noises, always being entertained, always going somewhere, always achieving, full of noise. 

No one wants to feel pain.

Very few people are honest about what they’re feeling and more people are ashamed to be who they are fully. Maybe they’ll sit behind a screen and criticize other people online or they’d rather gossip than confront that person.

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And that’s the worse thing about some churches is that they shame people for being imperfect. 

A lot of churches don’t talk about issues like sex, masturbation, pornography, addictions, drugs, depression, sexuality in general. When I asked two female leaders at my church what sex felt like they said “we will tell you when you’re about to get married”.

One of my best girl friend found her dad’s sex tape one time and became a porn addict. She watched porn for 8 hours a day. She became self conscious and insecure about her looks.

Why should I be ashamed to be honest?

I have nothing to hide. I’ll say the words penis and vagina out loud, I will talk about whatever I want.

If you are fake your whole life you’ll never meet people who will love you for who you are.

I see tons of prophets who show forth an image of perfection like they have no problems, they smile and wear nice dresses. I’m so tired of fake people. 

God didn’t anoint me or choose me because I’m perfect. God chose me because I trust in His grace alone that made me whole.

The other day someone asked me “how do you know you are anointed”. I started to explain and stopped. “Why do I have to explain myself to you?”

I’m a recovering emotional detached person. I had shingles when I was 14 because I was stuffing all the stress inside my heart. I didn’t tell people about my single mother’s anger issue, my mother told me not to tell people my parents are divorced.

I became two-faced. I became the overachiever who took care of her own emotional needs. I read erotica to ease the pain in my heart or I gossiped about other people. Everyone came to me for help and I liked it. But I wasn’t loving myself, and I didn’t know how to ask for help.

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I dated a guy who was emotionally absent. He would disappear for days and I found myself having emotional affairs with other people. He didn’t want to get close to me emotionally so I found other avenues.

But I was also emotionally detached, because it was safe to be with another emotionally absent person. That way I wouldn’t get hurt right?

No, I did get hurt. Love is love, you’ll experience pain no matter what. Stop trying to be perfect. Open your heart and just TELL IT LIKE IT IS. You are sad, say it. You are angry, say it. You feel like someone is being fake, tell them. It’s blunt but it’s the truth and the truth will set you free, even if it’s harsh.

So how do I overcome emotional detachment in this season:

  1. Opening my heart and talking through the issues with my friend.
  2. Creating videos and talking about how I feel
  3. Writing
  4. Telling God how I feel.

And most of it is a lot of anger.

God why did you abandon me?

God why did you allow this to happen to me?

God why do I always become friends or chase people who don’t give back to me?

God help me break this negative cycle.

God help me to open my heart.

God help me to forgive.

God I can’t do this anymore. This heart thing.

What’s appropriate? What’s taboo? Why don’t you lift off the veil of pretend and try being honest? 

Are you tired of BS? Why don’t you be honest for twice in your life? 

GIVE TO THIS MINISTRY-

Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes. 

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

YOU ARE ENOUGH NEW PODCAST

Book A Mobile Coaching Session 

 

You Are Enough & Not Lacking.

When I started to desire family I’d look at families and felt like I was lacking but the Lord showed me it was a lie.

I’d experience a spirit of lack and feel like wow I must be lacking because I’m single.

I’d feel like I’m lacking because I don’t have my dad with me. I’d feel like I’m lacking because my mother didn’t affirm me.

Here’s the revelation God gave me-

You don’t need a friend. You don’t need a community. You don’t need a car. You don’t need a house. You don’t need a husband or a boyfriend, a wife or girlfriend. You don’t need your parents. You don’t need anything outside of yourself because in God’s eyes you are whole because of Jesus’ sacrifice. You don’t need anyone to forgive you because Jesus already forgave you. You don’t need assurance, you don’t need affirmation, you don’t need more stuff, you are already enough.

You don’t need anything outside of yourself because when you come to know you are enough everything becomes a blessing, not a need.

Do you know your are enough? That you don’t need to do anything or go anywhere or achieve anything to be whole?

I am whole and if I am whole I won’t fear lack.

And if it’s just Jesus, it’s enough.

And if no one is by your side, you’re still enough.

And if they are, you’re enough.

They don’t add to you, because you are one whole being. They don’t take away from you. You cannot be any less or more.

Don’t feel bad for people who have less or who seem like they didn’t have much growing up.

In God’s eyes they are enough.

I don’t care how much money you have if you don’t know you are enough, it’s never enough.

I don’t care how many people love you if you think you need them to love you, you don’t really know who you are.

That’s called codependency.

I don’t need anyone outside of myself but if I seek for help it’s because I know I am valuable and worthy of love and that I’m whole on the inside.

So now I have people that love me, I felt lacking when I wasn’t with them or in touch with them and God showed me I actually don’t need them.

Sure they are additions and blessings to my life but I am not lacking when I’m not with them.

I spent some time grieving the past but I realize no I didn’t lose people, I was always whole.

I wasn’t lacking when I had little friends to support me.

I was enough then too.

And I won’t be sad to lose a friend because I know that there’s a time and season for everything.

In that way I can live in freedom, not in a mindset of fear and lack. I know even if I lose a friend I am enough.

I am whole all by myself.

GIVE TO THIS MINISTRY

(Sessions via Skype or Facetime, worksheets and prophetic actionable steps to achieve solutions for your problems).

Hello! My name is Rebekka Lien. I am a Life Coach, Heart Healer, and Speaker who believes in SETTING people free from fear and limiting beliefs that get people stuck in negative cycles.fresha.com/rebekka-lien-rw8gamj0

I have worked with thousands of people around the world in 20 countries so my methods are sure fire ways to deliver people out of a lifetime of imprisonment. I am also a follower of Jesus so my words are Spirit-inspired and cuts to the core of the problems, with NO BS. It is called Prophecy, meaning I don’t even have to talk to you to know what is going on. God has the solution for you and He wants to set you free from the issues that keep hindering you from live your best life.

I was born in Hamburg, Germany, lived in Taipei, Taiwan and now in Los Angeles. I have traveled to 30 countries and hope to visit the whole world. My parents divorced when I was 8 and I have gone through a life time of healing and breaking off the spirit of lack and orphan in my life to come into the identity of being a child of God. You need to RULE in the authority God gave you.

You are a queen/king and you DESERVE To REIGN on this earth! 

Please feel free to write me at Rebekkalien@gmail.com to book Rebekka to speak.

 

The Risks of Living In Your Destiny

When you walk in your destiny it means you have to confront your fears, you can’t be at home playing it safe, you’ll face the fear of rejection, judgement, criticism, humiliation, embarrassment. Some people think grace means God will open easy doors with no risks? Think again, you will SLAY every fear FACE ON and you will not be doing it from the safety of the KNOWN, but the RISKS of the UNKNOWN.

AND you will face all kinds of people and all opinions, but you have to STAY STRONG in your belief that you are righteous in Christ Jesus.

Do you think David slayed the giant watching TV at home?
Do you think Joseph became a ruler of Egypt at home? No he got sold into slavery and prison.
Do you think Esther cowered in fear, no she confronted a king as a queen, risking her own life.
Elijah ran for his life from Jezebel, he hid in a cave and got up to confront his problems.

These are real life examples where they actually CONFRONTED real people, and real things. So they could move forward.

The risk of following your dreams.
1. You might feel awkward
2. There might be guilt trips
3. You might feel embarrassed
4. You’re exposed to criticism
5. You might fail forward
6. Others might be jealous

Some examples from my life like last night when I saw Selena Gomez. God does not want a light to be hidden under a table. You shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed that your light is bright. You shouldn’t dim your light so others can like or love you. God doesn’t want His children to live in fear of rejection or judgment, you’re going to have to confront them!

Make a contribution to this ministry and help set people free from fear and condemnation- thank you!
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien
https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien
zelle-rebekkalien@gmail.com

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A Homeless Prophet Finding Home

I told my friend that I didn’t feel welcomed anywhere. I was overseas ministering all over the world, impacting lives, praying over thousands of people and telling them about Jesus but when I come home all I get is yelling and accusation from my mother. I wanted to rest but I started to find myself trying to prove myself, trying to do more because her constant nagging made me feel insufficient.

I felt homeless. Like I wasn’t welcomed anywhere.

So I felt like running again when I got home (LA). I didn’t have a home. I felt like a homeless prophet. 

That has been the hardest thing for me. I wanted to go home but it didn’t feel like home. 

So I started to see how God would bring me to people who were homeless or felt like orphans. My friend said she saw me teaching the gospel to orphans and I started crying.

Bring the lost sheep home, I’ve been doing that for 2 years and the aching in my heart 💜 is when I literally can now sit next to someone and feel what they are feeling.

I was on the plane and asked this Korean man if he was okay. He said “why? do you feel something?”

“Yes, you seem very sad”.

He said “well I am 49 and when you are 50 in Korea, everything goes down hill”. Even though he was also a Christian, his mindset was culturally Korean.

I said that is not true and I said that God was his provider and that He would take care of him. He told me that he is trying to be a good Christian and I told him that in God’s eyes He is perfect because of Jesus’ sacrifice. He had tears in his eyes.

My heart is for those who feel rejected and burnt out. I met a woman in Seoul who told me that she wishes she could go home to a normal family. She feels accused of when she is home so she decided to go to Korea for one year. She was cleaning the beds in the hostel. I could feel the pain in her heart because I felt like that.

I told her the next day that she actually wanted to go home. She said “of course but I cannot, I don’t feel safe at home”.

There are so many young people who don’t feel loved and accepted by their family. Another woman on the train told me she only sees her mom twice a year because they don’t get along. She said she doesn’t want to get married and she is okay living alone. She says she never goes out. I told her how I started to tell my mother how I feel and that it’s brought release and healing to my heart.

She became quiet, she looked at me. It’s like looking into a mirror. She nodded. 

I can tell when I meet a wounded person, I can feel what they are feeling. And what will happen is that I will cry for them and with them. I know when I see a lost sheep, I know when I see someone who has been rejected. Because I am looking into a mirror. 

I have a heart for the orphans, those who feel outcasted by their own family.

I know how it feels to feel unwelcomed in your own home.

I’m learning to be open and just tell my mother how I feel.

To the lost sheep-

I have not forgotten you. I am here. I am with you.  You don’t have to do anymore. You don’t have to strive. You can rest with me. You don’t have to run, you are home with me. I love you very much, you are enough. While everyone will tell you you’re not enough, I will tell you, you are enough. Come home with me. You are home, you can rest now. 

Jesus.

https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien

Consider giving a donation to bring lost sheep home- thank you! The money goes toward transportation (as I do uber ministry), food and sometimes accomodation, sometimes God also tells me to give the money to those in need. In God’s timing I am looking for a house to have house church meetings and to live in. In this church we will welcome the spiritually weary, who are tired of trying and tired of being told what to do. In this church, people can cry and sleep, they won’t have to strive, they know they are enough and accepted in God’s eyes. Here their hearts will find rest and they will be home. I won’t talk about theology or tell people what to do, they can rest and they can find solace in God’s love. They will be welcomed by a spiritual mother, and one day a spiritual father and we will just sit and be with them. They won’t have to please us, they will find identity in Christ Jesus. 

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

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Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

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Prophetic Word- Come Out Of Hiding

I want to hide under a rock but I look over at the turtles, they are standing bold on a rock, exposed. They are not hiding. This time they are not.

I just had a moment of tears.

It’s coming face to face to a grown man who has tears in his eyes.

“I don’t want to feel like a useless person, sitting there getting fat while his kids think he is useless”.

“Do you feel ashamed to go home?”

“Yes”.

“But you know what your kids need is your presence, not necessarily your money”.

It’s speaking right into someone’s heart that you know exactly how that person feels. You are not a robot, you are human too. You know how it feels to feel ashamed, to feel useless, to be accused of. I have been there.

Then earlier in the morning, I met a man on the bus. While talking to my friend on the phone I noticed his book said “enemy”. I knew he was a Christian so I asked him if he was Christian, he said yes. That morning I was at the Laundry Mat with my mom and I heard “go to Pasadena”. I was roaming around but saw a bus going there and heard God say “run”.

This man was from Ethiopia. I prophesied to him that he is enough in Christ Jesus, He is not lacking. He told me how he felt like he lost everything. I said that “God is waiting for you to step out in faith and do one thing at a time He leads you to”. People always think that they are waiting for God but often times God is waiting for you. 

I told him that God has called you travel to the nations. I told him to take off his sunglasses and his hat and stop hiding. He spoke encouraging words to me too. I feel honored and loved by these fathers, their presence. I never got that from my father.

It’s easier to hide, because you’re not seen and you can’t be criticized or rejected but when you come out of hiding you are seen and that means people respect and honor you but they can also hurt you. Right?

And that’s my heart, my pain. God I don’t want people to hurt me anymore as I’ve been too wounded in the last year.

God’s like “open your heart, I’ll protect you”.

Are you sure God?

Yes.

Trust me.

So go and don’t be afraid to share your heart with people. I will bless you and surround you with my angels. Don’t be afraid to go. I’m with you. I’m covering you.

Would you consider partnering with me financially to bring the gospel of grace to those who feel condemned? I’ll be going to Korea tomorrow. I’m a little bit scared but please pray for me. 

https://www.gofundme.com/korea-grace-mission-trip

Give a donation- thank you!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Cash app- gugibabu

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

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I Try To Be Enough, But I Forget I’m Already Enough In God’s Eyes

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I tried to be enough. I tried to please my mother. I tried to be a good daughter. I tried to be a good friend. I tried all my life but I learned from God that I am enough. That when God sees me He only sees Jesus.

But it’s easy to forget and it’s easy for that voice of condemnation to say “you should feel bad because they are mad at you”, “you should feel guilty because you’re not doing enough”.

Their (whoever they are) happiness does not depend on you and other people are not your responsibility.

It’s hard when you are in ministry though, you start to feel their problems weigh down on you. And then multiply that with your own family. 

And then you just need to crawl into a safe space with Jesus and pile the non-responsibilities to one side and say “God it’s yours, not mine”. 

I am not responsible for my mother’s abandonment issues. I am not responsible for taking care of anyone. I am a prophet so I relay the message, but I am not a therapist. My job is to point people to Jesus. I am not anyone’s savior. 

Lord today take our burdens, show us how to rest in your grace. Your rest is perfect God, we are the ones who don’t know how to cast our burdens to you.

We think we are god and we try to figure everything out. Sometimes I try to be in control and I don’t even know it. I try to figure things out by asking God “what should I do now” instead of going with the flow….as if I’m not doing enough or I’m always on assignment. But what about me? What do I want. I forget that I have desires and that God works with my desires.

Your desires matter.

Period. 

Not for function or form, but just because you are meant to be happy. 

I’ve met so many women on the road and in LA that subjugate themselves to unhealthy marriages. They suppress their own desires to please their husband or stay in a marriage/ relationship that is abusive or void of any emotional connection. 

They’re shocked when I say “I heard ‘get a divorce'”.

But isn’t divorce a sin? They ask?

Isn’t being unloved in a unhealthy marriage a sin? It’s a sin to be unloved.

Okay, I just put it this way. No, Jesus died on the cross for your sins so that when God sees you, He only sees Jesus. So He does not see SIN in you anymore. HE WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY AND DO NOT PUNISH YOURSELF FOR CHOOSING THE WRONG GUY. Sure they may change, but if they choose not to that’s another story. If he is abusing you, run. 

There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

For some reason Christians think that it is okay to suffer for a long time when God actually wants you to be happy. We forget that. God actually is a good father who wants a good life for you. WHOA.

“I just have to pray more right?” One woman asked me.

“No, God said he is a rock weighing your ankles down”.

“Well I did not expect to hear that”.

A few months later one woman told me she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her.

Love is longsuffering, but don’t suffer for the wrong guy my friends. God does not call us to submit to people who are pigs. It says “don’t throw your pearl to pigs”.

Choose a man who will honor you and respect you.

Would you consider partnering with me financially to bring the gospel of grace to those who feel condemned? 

https://www.gofundme.com/korea-grace-mission-trip

Give a donation- thank you!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Cash app- gugibabu

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com