I Left Everything To Follow Jesus Part 2

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I don’t want to overwhelm my readers so I don’t tell the truth. But the truth is it’s been very hard. I’ve cried everyday.

Imagine doing good, following Jesus and then being misunderstood. I don’t want to dwell on it, I want to let it go but I can’t seem to. The flashbacks, the people, the words just come at me.

I sold everything to follow Jesus in 2015 and started going where Jesus led me to. I first went to Hawaii for 2 weeks and stayed with a sister there, then I came back and had no place to stay and ended up staying with another sister for 5 months. I started unofficially training people in the prophetic as I stayed with them.

In 2018, after 2 years of resting and preparing spiritually for the journey ahead (which I had no idea would look like this), I left Los Angeles and went to Taiwan. In Taiwan I thought I would stay for a year (to get to know my dad) or so but God said “keep going, now you will gather the lost sheep”. I went to Korea first and found myself waking up at 5 am to pray for backpackers that were checking out. The prophesies came in visions and words. Many were not Christian and were amazed by the words and confirmations.

I met a Muslim girl at a restaurant and I could always sense it, God would tell me “go speak to her”. Sometimes I’d be scared but eventually she crossed over to my table to get napkins. We started talking. As we were hanging out she said she had a stomachache and I asked to pray over it.

“Is it okay for a Muslim to get prayed over by a Christian?” 

I said yes of course. After laying hands on her stomach and praying for her, she noticed the pain went away, it was immediate. This opened the door for me to share my testimony.

One time I needed money to stay at the hostel for the next day and contacted a good friend of mine but she said that she was learning to be financially responsible and couldn’t help. In that moment I felt really abandoned and questioned God’s goodness. I also felt like she was blaming me for “not being financially responsible” when in fact I was simply following God’s instructions and directions. Things like this would happen on the road where I really questioned God’s direction and goodness when I felt misunderstood or rejected. 

I told her that honestly I felt like a martyr sometimes.

I compared myself to her. I said that I felt like a martyr because I was out here with a suitcase not knowing where I was going to stay tomorrow (and not having the finances to stay anywhere yet) while she was married and had just bought a house. I could imagine people back home enjoying their couch and watching netflix while I was in a hostel room with 10 other people. Why did I have to be the one to be out here reaching the lost when others were back home living their comfortable lives? It did not seem fair to me.

Yes, I admit it, I felt like a martyr. But that was also Satan using everything he could to accuse and attack me with the spirit of lack so that I felt I was lacking in some way. 

I woke up this morning thinking of all the negative things that happened and God was like “you need to write it down”. I realize I don’t talk about my experiences enough and I need to…not because I’m reciting “woe is me” stories but because somehow I find my strength in these stories. I’m not just a normal person, I’m a woman who went through hardships to follow Jesus.

Sometimes when I talk to people, I find myself unable and unwilling to talk about my experiences on the road. I feel like it will overwhelm them too much or make them feel bad for me. And I don’t want pity, I want them to know they are enough in Christ Jesus and anything is possible if they’re willing to follow Jesus.

My job is to set people free from fear, from the fear of rejection, lack and judgement, from the fear of the unknown. Because I’ve gone there and back, hell and high waters. 

When I tell them I went to South Africa with $20 in my pocket, their jaws drop. When I tell them I was on the road with my suitcase following God with $5 left and asking strangers for help while prophesying over them, they say “I would never be able to do that”.

I had to confront fear in the face. And sure it was scary. But what people fear I don’t fear much. Why? Because I’ve been through the fire. 

  1. An hour before my flight departure I was going from Bali to Perth, well apparently I didn’t have a visa. I also did not have a working phone so in that moment I had to borrow a French couples’ phone to register for an Australian e-visa. Miraculously the e-visa went through in 10 minutes.
  2. I landed in New Zealand, hoping to safely arrive at my hostel but then they said I booked the wrong dates. It’s 3 am in the morning and I’m walking around the streets with no where to stay. I visit every hotel and they are fully booked due to a festival. I end up praying for drunk teenagers. Finally I visit a hotel where the Nepalese man told me he reads the Bible and a miracle happened….he let me book a room they usually reserve for emergencies. 
  3. One night at a hostel I was hearing my roommates have nightmares. The next day 2 of the bunkmates accepted Jesus into their hearts. This was in Hong Kong. I was really pissed that I didn’t get good sleep but was praying in tongues at night. Who knew that it was because there was spiritual warfare happening because two of the girls would accept Jesus into their hearts. 

More stories to come……..

What you can do for me.

  1. Pray – pray for my heart and pray for my body to be healed of any and all traumas. Pray for the seed of the word of God to be sown deep into fertile hearts.
  2. Give- Give to the continuing work of sharing the gospel with those God calls me to reach. Funds goes towards finances that are needed for transportation, such as uber rides and food, where I usually have divine appointments. God always gives me a divine appointment on an uber ride. It has been very fruitful. Thank you for your partnership-

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

zelle-rebekkalien@gmail.com

 

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Prophetic Word- Come Out Of Hiding

I want to hide under a rock but I look over at the turtles, they are standing bold on a rock, exposed. They are not hiding. This time they are not.

I just had a moment of tears.

It’s coming face to face to a grown man who has tears in his eyes.

“I don’t want to feel like a useless person, sitting there getting fat while his kids think he is useless”.

“Do you feel ashamed to go home?”

“Yes”.

“But you know what your kids need is your presence, not necessarily your money”.

It’s speaking right into someone’s heart that you know exactly how that person feels. You are not a robot, you are human too. You know how it feels to feel ashamed, to feel useless, to be accused of. I have been there.

Then earlier in the morning, I met a man on the bus. While talking to my friend on the phone I noticed his book said “enemy”. I knew he was a Christian so I asked him if he was Christian, he said yes. That morning I was at the Laundry Mat with my mom and I heard “go to Pasadena”. I was roaming around but saw a bus going there and heard God say “run”.

This man was from Ethiopia. I prophesied to him that he is enough in Christ Jesus, He is not lacking. He told me how he felt like he lost everything. I said that “God is waiting for you to step out in faith and do one thing at a time He leads you to”. People always think that they are waiting for God but often times God is waiting for you. 

I told him that God has called you travel to the nations. I told him to take off his sunglasses and his hat and stop hiding. He spoke encouraging words to me too. I feel honored and loved by these fathers, their presence. I never got that from my father.

It’s easier to hide, because you’re not seen and you can’t be criticized or rejected but when you come out of hiding you are seen and that means people respect and honor you but they can also hurt you. Right?

And that’s my heart, my pain. God I don’t want people to hurt me anymore as I’ve been too wounded in the last year.

God’s like “open your heart, I’ll protect you”.

Are you sure God?

Yes.

Trust me.

So go and don’t be afraid to share your heart with people. I will bless you and surround you with my angels. Don’t be afraid to go. I’m with you. I’m covering you.

Would you consider partnering with me financially to bring the gospel of grace to those who feel condemned? I’ll be going to Korea tomorrow. I’m a little bit scared but please pray for me. 

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Prophetic Word- Giving Up Your Isaac, Trusting God And Not The Outcome

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Yesterday was a whirlwind for me. The night before I woke up and felt God say that I needed to cancel my flight, and that I should drive to New York with my friend. I saw us visiting different people throughout the states. I texted her that and then deleted it in the morning as I was having doubts. She told me God also told her the same.

She had tried to convince her dad but he was not budging. He was withholding the keys from her and maybe even mentioned that I may be a false prophet. I’m not bothered by it because I know it’s not true.

I was tired all day trying to figure things out. The truth is God had showed me signs of New York everywhere, through t-shirts, signs. He told me to book a flight to New York, then He told me to book a flight to Korea, then another. Whenever the finances came in for it, I obeyed and booked the one way flights (the flights almost add up to $1000). But I was also asking God “but what if you change plans on me?”

This has happened before. One time I had a flight booked to Paris and I woke up from a dream where He told me to go to China. Turns out I ended up meeting a girl in Beijing who had the same story. She was redirected to go to China when she was going somewhere else, she had to change several flights to do it.

But most flights I book are non-refundable. So of course I had doubts.

Yesterday I felt a well of energy and thought “why do I have to wait for other people, just go!”

So I went. At first I thought I would sleep at the korean spa but when the uberpool driver stopped to pick someone up at Union Station, I suddenly felt God say to go to the airport. So I asked to get off and paid for a flyaway ticket to LAX. I started having anxiety in the bus. When my friend texted me “even if you make the wrong decisions, God is still in it”. Somehow I felt set free of trying to make the “right decisions”.

Well, I even paid for a carry on (something I didn’t want to do before but somehow 2 of my friends sowed $31 and $23 that very day to cover the bag which was $49). I check in. I’m at the airport, it’s 10pm-11pm…I find a nook to sleep on the floor and suddenly I’m very tired.

“Why am I sleeping on the floor at an airport?” As I thought about the 15 hour trip that I’d have to take, well, 3 layovers…one in Denver, one in Vegas, one in Chicago. I was laying there and suddenly heard God say “go home”. I heard it a few times on the bus too but thought well, now I’m confused.

I call my friend in Europe. She tells me “it’s very normal to have confusion when you’re working with other people since you are experiencing their junk and vice versa”.

I’m like omg you’re right. So we pray and somehow I hear again “go home”.

But I don’t want to, my body is tired, I feel dead inside. God why? Why have me book flights and then tell me to cancel them. What a waste.

But I remember what He said to me “whatever done in faith is never a waste, and will be rewarded”. 

It’s not about the final result, or the success rate of things happening, it’s trusting God no matter how crazy it looks. 

So it’s 1 am and I walk out of the airport, having checked in, and I’m probably still checked in to the 3 flights I was going to go on. 

I take an uber home from the airport. In my mind I just wasted $100 going back and forth from the airport and paying for the bag. I know, I can’t get over why God would have me do that.

It doesn’t make sense right?

But God’s ways are not man’s ways. 

I had a few people tell me that they encountered redirection from God yesterday and it really confused them. They really started to question if they were even hearing God right.

Well here’s what I’m hearing-

“baby boy, baby girl,

Don’t look back. My ways are not your ways. My thoughts are not your thoughts. Don’t be afraid of failure. Don’t be afraid of closed doors. I want you TO TRY with all your might. I don’t want you to live life afraid. And sometimes I may ask you to wait and be patient. Sometimes I may ask you to step out in faith and maybe you won’t see a successful “ending” to the thing I’ve asked you to step out in faith on, but that’s all a part of trusting me and trusting that I am enough for you.

It’s not about getting there, it’s about walking with me through it all.

Do you trust me? Let go and surrender. It’s not on your shoulders to make the right decisions. I want you to be a child and never be afraid to fail, never be afraid to try. I’m a good father, I won’t fail you. See some of you try to put your hope in a person or a trip, or ministry, or a career, or a job….but put your trust in me. 

It’s not about the success rate my friend, it’s about knowing you are enough no matter what happens. Even if you will no longer be the “supposed love of your life”. Even if you lose money from flights canceled. Even if God has you quit a job you thought you liked“.

I had a dream that I was sitting at a table and I moved farther to see the board clearer (but I stepped in between two people talking). And someone from Kim Kardashian’s family said “why did you interrupt the man to sit here”. Say “sorry”. So I said “sorry” but continued sitting there.

Sometimes you have to move away from the “goal” to see clearer. God is giving you 20/20 vision right now. The funny thing is when I was on the bus, I remembered I left my contact lens at home. This has happened a few times recently. I left my contact lens at my friend’s house.

The truth is……God has me in a season where I am training up leaders, pioneers. But their problems sometimes overwhelm me. I feel like a free bird but sometimes when I train others up, I feel the weight of their burdens or the weight of their chains. I want to set them free immediately but I know it’s a process too on their end. And so perhaps the truth is – I wanted to run, run ahead, run away and not have to feel responsible for them. It’s easier to be alone I think. Sometimes I don’t feel capable. I want to live a normal life where I don’t have to help anyone. 

“Why do you think I set you free?” God says to me.

“It’s to set others free”.

Okay well maybe sometimes I don’t feel up to the task and maybe I don’t want to set boundaries, and maybe I don’t know how. That’s why I say “I want to be alone” because when you’re alone you don’t have to tell anyone anything. You don’t have to speak your mind, you can sit comfortably and mind your own business. 

But when you have other people involved, you have to learn to set boundaries, you have to learn to speak up, you have to be honest, you have to say sorry sometimes, you have to be considerate of others.

When you’re alone, it’s too easy. You have no one else to consider and it’s awesome. But you also don’t have anyone to love or to be supported by. And I feel maybe I’m scared I’ll be bogged down by their problems, and not know how to say no or to say “hey I need time for myself” because that has been the case in the past growing up with a single mom. 

I was sitting there at the airport and suddenly the intercom said “if you need help ask Matt Damon, cuz he has no friends”.

It pierced me. Okay God. What the heck.

Many of us have been longing for friends but when we get them we are overwhelmed that we don’t know how to be ourselves and speak our truth in that relationship. So we hide, we run. The same cycle of broken relationships.  

God wants us healed.

I was telling my friend that when God told me to go to Taiwan God told me to book a flight ticket on my credit card in faith, He said someone would pay for it. 

I sat my mom down and told her I was going as I already booked a ticket, I didn’t know how long I was going to be gone for. That’s it. It wasn’t even an option that I stayed. If God told me to go, I was going even if it meant I had to just trust Him for the finances (since I didn’t have anything saved up lest $20).

She ended up paying for my flight and even though she didn’t talk to me for 2 days, a wall was broken.

I’ve done many things like that. Going to South Africa with $20 in my pocket and that’s where God had me start my ministry, on facebook.

One time I had a layover in LA, and I had another flight continuing. I probably had a few bucks in my wallet, but I would’ve still gone if my mom said no. I knew God would provide either way.

This is a season where God is redirecting us into community. SO it may be scary and daunting.

This is a season of big faith….and this faith may be letting go of a plan or vision God gave you, you know giving up your Isaac. 

Do you trust God for the best?

He has your best interest in mind.

What is your Isaac? What do you need to let go? Is it control? Is it the outcome?

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Freeing Christians From The Religious Spirit

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You are doing enough. You are enough. 

When Adam and Eve sinned, God said “where are you?” They were hiding because they realized they were naked. God wants us to be honest. 

I told my friend “it’s better that you are out there getting drunk, partying,”sinning” and doing what you want” then to be pretending and suppressing your desires like the religious pharisees. It’s one thing to do something or not do something out of conviction from the holy spirit (AND THAT IS BETWEEN YOU AND GOD!), but it’s another when you’re suppressing what you want to say or do because you feel that you’ll be punished. 

That is GOING to spark some offense in Christians.

That is what Jesus was talking about – He said “you guys are white and clean on the outside but inside you are vermin” (something like that). 

It is the Spirit of God that causes us to will and to do. (Philippians 2:3) Which means God gives us the desire and the action to do. You don’t have to monitor people and tell them what to do. That is control and control comes from fear. 

God has brought me to a level in my faith where I’ve experienced freedom from religion.

Religion- Feeling guilty if you don’t read your bible, if you don’t go to church, if you don’t pray….etc….that is religion. You feel condemned if you don’t or do something. You feel like there is no freedom to be yourself, you are always monitoring what you say or do. You feel like you have to be nice to people to “win them to Christ”. You feel like you can’t just have fun. You’re scared to be in certain environments because you fear that “you will stumble”. You’re scared to speak your TRUTH and be honest because you feel like it’s not Christ -Like.

Relationship- knowing that you are loved by God and that you are unpunishable because Jesus was punished on the cross for you. You live in freedom and you’re not scared of “other people’s sin” touching you because you are covered by the blood of Christ. You have freedom to dance, religious people don’t just “dance” because they don’t feel the freedom to. Again, religious people are always monitoring their actions to make sure they are doing the “right thing”. This is legalism. You are free to speak your mind without fear. Remember God sees no sin in you, He only sees Jesus. 

I had a dream last night I was in the same room with a girl. I noticed needles in my heart and as I took them out one by one, I felt pangs in my body. The needles represented accusation and were connected to pains in my body recently. When I got a massage yesterday the lady kept yelling relax relax, I noticed that I was clenching parts of my body like my butt and I couldn’t relax because the accusations were causing muscle tension. Accusation causes your body to clench up because it’s “getting ready to be spanked or punished”  for doing “bad”.

I had read and accepted her messages thinking that “I should” try to get along with other Christians and “be receptive” to correction or opinion, but after that dream I realize that God was asking me to guard my heart. Another girl was also telling me “you need fellowship or accountability”.

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But I’ve never shied away from God’s correction, He speaks to me directly about it. I’ve also always had Christian friends in my life to pray for me. 

But their words made me think I wasn’t enough and that I wasn’t doing enough. 

I realize that is why I hated those “religious” words. Because they are religion. I’ve always had a close relationship with God and kept my heart pure. And even if I don’t, forcing fellowship with believers is religion. 

If you feel like you have to listen to someone, it’s religion.

If you feel like you have to be somewhere to be more “holy”, it’s religion.

You are already whole and righteous in God’s eyes because of Jesus’ sacrifice. You are not trying to be more, you are not trying to better yourself, you are already whole.

You don’t need more people around you to “edify” you, you are whole as you are, alone, standing there. 

I really hate those religious words.

YOU ARE WHOLE ALL BY YOURSELF! 

The other accusations that came – “I wish someone went with you to follow Jesus”- soon I heard them as “you are not enough”. 

But that was a lie. God had called me to go with Him, not with anyone else. 

YOU ARE WHOLE ALL BY YOURSELF.

There is this one woman, also well-intentioned, she’d say something EVERY TIME I was going to the airport or going to a new city. Even though we’d talk it out, I realize I felt accused because there was accusation and control in her tone. Even though she may not have realized it. There was a religions spirit influencing her.

God trained me to go by myself so that I wouldn’t be influenced by different spirits like the spirit of witchcraft, which is control and comes from fear. 

If you believe I’m just a normal believer, then so be it. But if you believe that I’ve been highly trained by God and that I am a prophet that hears God, then you’ll perceive what I’m saying.

Romans 8:1-2 

“Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death”.

On my journey in the last year and a half, I got so focused on trying to help people understand why I’m free and why they’re free that I stopped having fun. Instead of just enjoying life, I started sitting by the side of the road explaining to those who were sitting by the side. Instead of living my life. 

As I explained to my friend, if someone keeps eating their own shit you can tell them “dude, you’re eating poop” but if they say “that’s fine, I don’t care I want to”, there’s nothing you can do but to move on.

Don’t sit there and watch them eat their poop, move on. 

My job is to prophesy and speak the truth and move on.

On a Korean tv show, this celebrity adopted a dog and he said that he has a disease where he thinks his poop is a toy since he was locked up in a cage all his life. He started to eat his poop because that’s all he saw.

Many believers go to church every sunday and have been taught “this is all there is”. You have to do this, you can’t wear a bikini, you have to wake up early to read the bible or else God will punish you. 

They are lies. 

God only sees Jesus in you. Go live life. 

When I left my baptist church, I went church hopping but on Sundays God started telling me just to rest. He said “just rest”. So I said okay God. I started to do things I wanted to do. I mean I’ve always been very free as I was left home alone at 5-6 years old and had no adult supervision. I snuck outside my house to buy toys at the store.

When I see people with controlling parents, even though they may seem close, they have no freedom. I had to learn my mom loves me in another way. 

I’m grateful I am experiencing the freedom of being a child of God and be secure in that truth while I’m living…not being afraid of punishment, but living in freedom. 

Consider financially partnering with me! Thank you for your continuous prayers and support.

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Prophetic Word- DON’T LIMIT GOD! Think Outside The Box!

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Today was quite crazy as usual. Another day where I thought maybe I’ll lay in bed and actually rest. But I kept thinking of the korean spa I wanted to go to yesterday. I’ve been a bit jet lag, but anyhow the Lord woke me up at 4am and He said to start my coaching business again.

The Lord has been breaking me free from thinking point A to point B. Like in Taiwan when I was taking the train back to Shuangxi and suddenly He told me to get off the train and go back to Taipei. After getting off a few buses, simply following my gut on where to go (not searching for hotels or hostels), I got off across a train station and saw a lady making dessert. Well, I asked her if she knew anyone who was renting a room and she did! Anyways, that night the Lord had me meet two strangers who I then shared an uber with, then ended up at a nightclub, met a guy in line and then went with him to meet his friends, two of which were Jewish. God’s ways are not man’s ways. 

When God speaks, you move.

Don’t use your logic. Your logic will slow you down and it will make you REALLY tired and lethargic (because it’s rooted in fear).

THIS MONTH! DON’T LIMIT GOD! He is taking the caps off! If you haven’t read the last blog post please do! 

I realize that in coming back to LA for 2 weeks, I felt a bit disjointed. I felt like I was a bit tired of ministering on the road and doing things I didn’t like….like I had given up a lot of passions and interests such as music, drawing, teaching, fashion, dancing. 

But the Lord has been showing me He has always given me those interests and desires as a way to connect with people, that I didn’t have to give them up. He will use those for His glory.

Because when He told me to sell everything and follow Him, He had closed all the doors to my career and I felt that He was saying I couldn’t pursue them.

Which was kind of true for the last year and a half because He had me going to YMCA’s and hostels and places I WOULD NEVER WANT TO SLEEP in to reach those who needed Jesus. In New Zealand I stayed at a YWCA where I had to tell the guy next door to quiet down his tv like everyday. But I got to pray over him and tell him that God was telling him to go to Germany to see his daughter. Things like that would happen all the time. Then I walked downstairs that night and ended up meeting a fellow Kiwi native that had to be delivered of evil spirits. Things like that.

But I didn’t GO where I would normally WANT TO STAY. You know? One hostel had club music until 4 am in the morning. Another in Australia had club music until 2am just below the hostel. But I went there to find lost sheep and go to the people God wanted me to reach. Everything was pre-appointed. 

This month I hear the Lord say-

“Don’t limit me. Don’t limit me to just one career, one city, one place, one house, one friend. I can tell you to do anything and if you’re willing, you’d live a beautiful artful life full of possibilities”.

One day you may have the desire to go to a korean spa, another day He may lead you to an unknown area you’ve never been to. You’ll discover places and people.

Maybe one day you’ll be working on a cruise, another day working at Starbucks, another day simply getting fed by the Lord, another day going to Walmart. Maybe He will tell you to book a flight to Mexico one day and you’ll backpack down South America. Maybe one day you’re sipping coffee in Israel or you’re prophesying over a stranger on the bus. I’ve done most of that, anything is possible.

So don’t limit Him.

If He calls you to do something you don’t normally like, He has a purpose for it. Maybe it’s to meet that father who will speak healing into your soul. Maybe it’s to meet a mother figure that will affirm you and hug you causing you to cry. His ways are not our ways. He will show you a dress you like and show you what kind of style you like again.  He will lead you to a deal you couldn’t have found yourself.

And Yes in following your desires….you will meet the man/woman of your dreams. 

Sometimes we try so hard to find that soul mate when God is telling you- just follow your heart and in doing so, you are following the “string” God has laid out to lead both of you to each other. 

Maybe the reason you haven’t met him/her is because you’ve been searching for him/her and not following your heart in your life”.

BAM!

You’ve been searching for the man/woman and not enjoying your life the way GOD intended you to enjoy it.

No one is attracted to someone who is desperate to find someone! People are attracted to partners who are enjoying their life and totally in love with the life they’re living. 

You know those movies where this girl goes traveling solo and she meets a handsome man at a club or while sitting there sipping wine? Exactly. 

She’s not desperate, she’s content being alone. She is enjoying her life. That’s when you usually find your life partner. 

When I first quit my full time job I didn’t know I’d one day do ministry. I never thought I’d end up in a reality show, I never thought I’d do the many things I’ve done but I was always led to it. But the biggest thing is I wasn’t afraid to fail. Because I didn’t have much to begin with so what is there to lose. God wants us to live in freedom and not be afraid to try. I’ve done a lot of things I never thought I’d do -like dance at Moulin Rouge. What?
 
Or be on an arranged marriage show?
 
What?
But see, those were probably the coolest experiences of my life. Or meeting the thousands of people I have all over the world. Sure, the following Jesus part on the road has had a LOT of hardships and challenges but it’s taught me to surrender in a way I’ve known how.
 
Don’t be afraid of failure, think of every experience as you being led to the next, think of your life as a very rich and fulfilling life (movie). Life is about trusting God, not about perfection. Life is about knowing who you are in Christ, a son and daughter of God that CANNOT be punished for doing wrong. That no matter what you do, you are a delight to Jesus. It makes life fun doesn’t it?
TODAY GOD IS BREAKING OFF FEAR IN A BIG WAY.
 
1. Life is not about making perfect decisions but knowing who you are in Christ no matter what life looks like, that you cannot be punished for doing wrong because Jesus was already punished on the cross for you. No matter what you decide, God only sees perfection in you.
2. That means you are free to choose and explore life. And if you don’t like what you’re doing, change course at any minute. You don’t have to be stuck with the decisions you made.

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I met this group of youth because I followed my desire to drink boba.

42580267_10160951970995603_7565485175648288768_nTwo of the first people I ever prayed and prophesied over was in Korea at a hostel in Busan. They are Indians from Delhi. It was a year later that I went to India. God’s ways are not our ways 🙂

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The verse God gave me today-

Psalm 65[a]

For the director of music. A psalm of David. A song.

Praise awaits[b] you, our God, in Zion;
    to you our vows will be fulfilled.
You who answer prayer,
    to you all people will come.
When we were overwhelmed by sins,
    you forgave[c] our transgressions.
Blessed are those you choose
    and bring near to live in your courts!
We are filled with the good things of your house,
    of your holy temple.

You answer us with awesome and righteous deeds,
    God our Savior,
the hope of all the ends of the earth
    and of the farthest seas,
who formed the mountains by your power,
    having armed yourself with strength,
who stilled the roaring of the seas,
    the roaring of their waves,
    and the turmoil of the nations.
The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders;
    where morning dawns, where evening fades,
    you call forth songs of joy.

You care for the land and water it;
    you enrich it abundantly.
The streams of God are filled with water
    to provide the people with grain,
    for so you have ordained it.[d]
10 You drench its furrows and level its ridges;
    you soften it with showers and bless its crops.
11 You crown the year with your bounty,
    and your carts overflow with abundance.
12 The grasslands of the wilderness overflow;
    the hills are clothed with gladness.
13 The meadows are covered with flocks
    and the valleys are mantled with grain;
    they shout for joy and sing.

Overcoming Disappointment

Tomorrow I turn 31 (February 11).

I am not home (Los Angeles) but in Perth, Australia. I should be excited to be here, but I’m not. I feel a bit of sadness. This morning I cried. I was thinking about how I didn’t celebrate any birthdays the last few years with friends because I didn’t have the heart to.

But in crying and sharing my disappointment I got to hear a roommate’s story and pray for her. Everyone has a story and a past.

I had a dream I was on a helicopter going through 7 oceans, it was so beautiful. I knew it was heaven and when I woke up my heart was pounding out of my chest.

My heart longs for restoration, beauty. Yet, the last few birthdays were far from beautiful. They were filled with disappointments. And even though I went to Cancun with my mom and there were beautiful moments, they were overshadowed by her nagging about turning 30.

Even after 7 months of ministry, my mom does not understand what I do.

The path of a pioneer is difficult. 

This year won’t be the same, I will fulfill my promises- says the Lord. 

I will trade your ashes for beauty. 

I wish someone understood. 

I do says the Lord. I do.

You are not alone,  you are not alone. 

Sometimes our hearts are so tired we don’t think we can go on, but just as I was writing this another long term backpacker gave me a duck plush toy.

And then just as I was writing this, he got an extra lemonade from the machine and he said who wants it? I said “ME!”

God is funny that way.

Thank you for those who have been ministry partners and have been sending me out in obedience to the Lord. I pray the Lord protect and bless you. 

Right now funds are needed to buy a flight to the next city God is directing me to.

Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

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Isaiah 54 New International Version (NIV)

The Future Glory of Zion

54 “Sing, barren woman,
    you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
    you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
    than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord.
“Enlarge the place of your tent,
    stretch your tent curtains wide,
    do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
    strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
    your descendants will dispossess nations
    and settle in their desolate cities.

“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
    Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
    and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
For your Maker is your husband—
    the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
    he is called the God of all the earth.
The Lord will call you back
    as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
    only to be rejected,” says your God.
“For a brief moment I abandoned you,
    but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
In a surge of anger
    I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
    I will have compassion on you,”
    says the Lord your Redeemer.

“To me this is like the days of Noah,
    when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
    never to rebuke you again.
10 Though the mountains be shaken
    and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
    nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
    says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Try Anything For You Will Not Fail

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Prophetic Word-

I hear the Lord say you are enough, you are not lacking and you have everything you need to move forward. I actually walked into a bookstore and told this to a girl and right after I realized God was speaking to me through me prophesying to her.

I spent a week in Melaka, Malaysia ministering there and then the Lord told me to go to Singapore. Well, I had about $60 in the bank and about 250 ringgits that my friend gave me. My phone was totally dead but I knew that the Lord would provide. I didn’t feel peace about booking any hostel or doing couchsurfing as I felt the Lord would lead me to where I needed to go. I also felt like I needed to stay at a hostel but that the hostel was not online.

However, I was still petrified and had a few days of feeling paralyzed in fear and I had to spend time with Jesus to even have any inkling of courage.

My time in Malaysia was fruitful, the Lord prophesied to people and healed people through me.

Testimonies:

On the day I was going to Singapore I saw a man at the bus station, I asked him if he was going to Singapore. He said yes. Right away I shared with him that I was a missionary and he said me too! He is an artist/minister.

On the bus we shared testimonies for 3 hours. In the beginning I shared how I was relying on the Lord for finances to keep going and that I’ve been going for 5 months since July to over 8 countries (Taiwan, Korea, Japan, China, Hong Kong, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore).

When I went to the bathroom, the Lord spoke to this gentleman and told him to sow a seed. He gave me an envelope. I was shocked and surprised. The Lord surely provides. He said that the Lord told him I needed it more than him and this was true.

During the ride I felt that I needed to pray for the man and I held him like a baby, it was the strangest thing but I felt like I needed to do it. I said that he was a baby and that he must rely and rest in the Lord like a baby. That the Lord is taking care of all of his needs. I also felt that when he gave, the Lord broke off the spirit of lack. The Lord often calls us to give so that we are reminded “The Lord is our shepherd, we lack nothing” and that the Lord will refill what we gave in more abundance.

We cried and prophesied to each other on the bus, I felt like he was like a father figure.

When I got to Singapore, I first got some change and then asked which bus I should take to get to Chinatown. The Lord had impressed on my heart to go to Chinatown. I knew there were people I needed to reach there.

Without a phone, I got on a bus. First there was a man with an injured leg and I asked to pray for him but he said no. Later a madam and her helper got on the bus. I made some small talk and asked to pray for them, they said okay. I asked her if she knew of any hostels in Chinatown, she said no.

She said “Follow me” and I was hesitant but decided to follow her off the bus. She said “want to eat?” I said YES I am starving. She treated me to a big meal as we fellowshiped. I found out she was also Christian. I explained to her helper that I only had about 100 singaporean dollars to spend on a week at a hostel and I may not have enough. Even though the Lord had already provided 200 ringgits by the gentleman on the bus….

All of a sudden I heard the Lord said the lady would pay for my hostel.

I was like “okay, well I’ve heard things from you but sometimes they don’t pay God” (for example, I’ve heard God say “she will pay for your meal” and sometimes it doesn’t happen).

All of a sudden the madam got money out of her bag and put it in mine. I didn’t know how much she put but the helper said “see my madam is very kind, she just gave you 100 singaporean”.

I was like OMG you were right.

God provided enough for a hostel, but then now I had to find a hostel within my budget.

I walked into 5-6 hostels and I’m like LORD, show me the way. He said “go forward”. Many of the hostels were fully booked. Finally I looked across the street and I saw one that seemed plain and simple. I’m like Lord….

I walk in and ask if they have a bed, bam. It was sort of within my budget but if I spent all my money on the hostel, I wouldn’t have money for food. In the afternoon I suddenly had the idea to ask for a week’s discount and the owner said “yes, we have”.

Praise God. It was a considerable discount and it was the Lord providing.

Testimonies of Ministry:

As you know I pray for people when I minister. Sometimes people say yes, sometimes no. If the opportunity is there, I share my testimony and story of Jesus in my life. These are just a FEW of the testimonies that happen on a daily basis.

I saw a cat and started petting it. The owner of the shop came out and started talking to me. I shared why I was here in Singapore and he shared some of the things he has been through the last year. I prayed for him and also found out he used to be christian. I said the Lord led me here to let him know that The Lord has never left him.

The night I arrived, there were 3 Filipino ladies in the room. They happen to be Christian too and they prayed for me.

One day I asked to pray for a Vietnamese girl. I prophesied that “the Lord said to follow your heart and not to be afraid. I felt like it was her job that she didn’t like.”

She was shocked, “how did you know what I was thinking?”

I said “the Lord speaks to me”. She ended up receiving the Lord and I told her “you can hear God too” so we sat there holding hands. She said “the Lord told me not to be scared” in Vietnamese.

There are many more testimonies.

The Lord has told me to continue in Indonesia and I am looking for ministry partners that are willing to sow. The flight ticket is about $90 and finances for housing and food. I am aiming for $500.

If you feel the spirit leading you to give, know that the Lord will bless you MORE abundantly and your reward will also be in heaven.

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