You Deserve The Best

woman wearing white wedding dress holding flower bouquet standing on green field
Photo by Dmitry Zvolskiy on

Last night the Lord told me to go to the Abbey and when I arrived I saw a guy sitting across. He had makeup on and a pair of glasses.

I gestured hello and asked if he wanted to sit with me. He was on the phone.

He came and sat with me and we talked about superficial stuff at first, things like “that bartender is so hot”. After a few hours he opened up to me.

I gave him a hug and he said that he was feeling suicidal all day and just wanted a hug. I asked why. I noticed that men started talking to me, or coming by to say hi. I saw his face. He would cringe and he would say things like “he is a jerk”.

He said that his ex boyfriend was abusive and hit him. He said that his ex changed his number so he could continue stalking him. “He would beat me”.

I told him that he deserved the best, he deserved to be loved and treated well. Even though he said he wasn’t Christian, I told him that God loved him very much.

I was saying that to myself as well. We laughed about things but I also felt this deep twinge of pain in my heart. When I got on the Uber, and of course the driver was Christian….I started crying and telling him that I deserved the best. He spoke very little English.

I kept saying “I deserve the best”. 

The last two guys I went on dates with basically were in love with their exes or someone else for the last 10 years.

Was there something wrong with me? No.

I just deserve the best. 

I’m not willing to be second best. 

Heart, LISTEN, never settle.


I’m so grateful that God led me to this guy. He bought me a rose. I know a lot of people ask me why God would tell me to go to the Abbey. The truth is whether someone is gay, straight, bi or trans, they are all STARVING FOR LOVE.


And God sends me there to show them love.

He speaks to our souls and hearts, and He is so loving to break us free of our unbelief.

DO you believe? You deserve the best. You deserve his full attention, you deserve to be first in his life!

Give to this ministry- Thank you! God bless! 

Venmo –


Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!



Prophetic Word- Moving Out of Guilt, Into Love

animal animal photography close up countryside
Photo by Helena Lopes on

You’re moving out. You’re expanding. You’re breaking the barriers of your father and mother’s issues and marriage. You’re breaking the negative cycles and you will never be the same. The pain will remain in the past and you will shout for joy. You will receive the inheritance and the promises I have promised you because you didn’t give up when it hurt, when you had to face your past and your mistakes.

You’ve received the full grace, you’ve accepted that I made you righteous by the blood of Jesus. You are whole because of my work, not yours. You’ve been made clean.

Now that’s power. You have power within you, me in you.

Sell everything and follow me.

You’re not your mother or your father. You are not your issues, you are not your things and your possessions. You are not your past, you are whole, clean, pure.

I only see Jesus in you, nothing else. 

Sell everything and follow me. 

Put on the ring and truth of righteousness. You are no longer your sins and your past. 

Forgive those who hurt you, forgive the past, forgive those who have disappointed you.

“I forgive my friends, my ex friends, I forgive my dad and mom, I forgive my ancestors, I forgive. For you forgave them on the cross. I no longer have to play Jesus. I am not Jesus or God. I am not. I denounce false responsibility. I repent for playing God. I am only human. I am not responsible even for my own short comings and for my future. It is by and through grace that I receive your promises, not my strivings”.

I receive it freely, I receive it all freely God. I partake of the meal, I partake of the promises. I partake of the health and abundance that you have paid for already. I no longer have to pay for it. It is free. I am free from my past and I don’t have to punish myself for the past. I am free.

No more guilt, no more condemnation. I am free, I am free, I am free. 

Move out, move out and see that you no longer live inside the box of guilt. You are free. Free to pursue your hearts’ desires. 

I give you permission to run after your hearts’ desires.

They may point fingers, they may not understand, but you run. All the other voices will dissipate, as you embrace love for what it is.

“I just want to be loved for who I am”. Then you will receive just that, a flaming fierce bright love, that will captivate you, hold you and never let go. 

I deserve what is mine, I deserve love that is loyal, true, committed. I deserve passionate love, communicative love, burning and vulnerable love. And you shall receive in 100 fold. Freely, without strife, as Adam and Eve were, free of burdens and free of concerns, under the cool of God’s creations.

You shall receive it. Freely, open your arms now.

Give to this ministry and prophetic word- Thank you! God bless! 

Venmo –


Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

silhouette of man and woman kissing
Photo by Asad Photo Maldives on

When You Get Rid of False Responsibility You’ll Get Married



The last year, from July 2019-now God has systematically helped me release false responsibility. I had a dream where I was wearing a dress with pockets and there were babies in the pocket. I heard “once you get rid of false responsibility you’ll get married”. I took babies out of the pockets.

Here’s what God did.

Growing up I often felt falsely responsible for my mom’s anger. I felt like it was my fault she was in a bad mood so I became a people pleaser. 

God started to help me see that it was not my fault but her issues with unforgiveness towards my dad and other family members. God used a gay social worker lyft driver to speak into my spirit. He said “it is not your job to carry the burden of your mom’s anger. Stop washing her dirty dishes and cleaning her room. If she is angry with your dad, it’s her job to tell him, not yours”.

God will tell me to go places and talk to uber/lyft drivers. He would send me to divine appointments on a daily basis. I would talk to these people about family and their issues. I would tell them my testimony and prophesy to them. There is no time or room for me to sulk or be afraid, I just have to go and speak. 

For awhile, I used to give rent money to my mom when I lived with her. I felt bad I could not give her money after I started freelancing. God told me “you are not responsible for her”. My relationship with my mom was strongly based on guilt.

Why is it urgent to go where God leads and speak, without fear?

Because God is promptly preparing you for marriage! 

I had a lot of false guilt thrown at me recently.

Things like –

  1. Someone needed help but I was not able to, so I said so and this person guilt tripped me by saying “so you’ll only help when it’s convenient for you?”
  2. Someone’s car got towed while we were hanging out – and even though I was not the one responsible for where he parked, I felt guilt. I had to cast it out in Jesus name.
  3. A friendship ended and I felt falsely responsible and I tried everything I can to save it, but I realized it needed to end because we were codependent.

God systematically REMOVED every hindrance to marriage.

I didn’t realize how MUCH people are actually not ready for marriage.

I didn’t realize how much God needed to teach me before I got married.

He sent me fathers who have cheated on their wives, He sent me people who struggle with porn, He sent me people who have trouble communicating, He sent me people who were shut down like my dad, He sent me people to teach me forgiveness and to heal my heart from the issues with my mom and dad.

All so that I can have an understanding and a soft heart, and not live in bitterness and anger.

I had to learn to express anger because I thought it was bad to express anger. I thought anger resulted in making others feel guilty (with my mom).

I had a guy that I liked hit on my friend in front of me, also triggering any trust issues that I may have had towards my friend. I expressed my anger towards him and learned to forgive him. 

I had to express how I felt with men who did not respond well.

I had to confront someone who touched my leg.

I learned that I was not responsible for peoples’ issues. I had to set boundaries with the landlord, who kept telling me to do things that were outside of my responsibilities.

I learned that I was not responsible for cheering my friend up and she was responsible for her own happiness. 

All of these seem simply but in the moment, it can be complicated.

Say I was out at a restaurant and my friend was in a bad mood, I realized I did not need to baby sit anyone. If I felt like I didn’t want to be around her, I could say so. If she wanted to go home, she could go. If I wanted to talk to strangers I could, because that’s what the holy spirit led me to do. 

Many of us live from a place of obligation. We think it is love but it is not love. 

Yesterday the Lord led me to several people. One Christian girl was heavily enmeshed in a 5 year relationship that involved abuse. I was walking on the street and noticed her backpack so decided to comment on it. We talked for awhile and expressed to her how I felt, prophesying to her as well, but I could feel her codependency. I had to discern that. I heard God say “go to the abbey, go now”. I could have stayed out of wanting a girl friend, but I had to listen to God.


Because I AM not responsible for her issues. I prophesied and prayed for her, but realized that I was not responsible to make HER feel good about herself. In addition, I felt that she was telling me what to do, telling me I should not go to bars and restaurants. But I had to speak up and say “no, God told me to”. I cannot submit to you, or fear. 

Sometimes we become close friends with people out of similar wounds, versus similar truth identity. The truth identity can be “I am a child of God”. But some friendships are built out of “self pity”.

“I feel sorry for myself so I am going to be friends with someone who feels sorry for herself too”.

There is no empowerment there. But there are friends who come in and out of our lives for a reason.

I am so grateful that even if I’m not ready to let go of someone, God removes them out of my life out of grace. I may feel hurt and rejected, but when I look back I realize that if I kept being friends with them, I’d continue to be codependent on their approval or validation. 

Now I am operating solely on His love. 

Not on other peoples’ love for me. 

Yesterday God told me to go to the abbey and there was a man sitting alone. I felt led to talk to him and turns out he grew up Catholic. I asked if I could sit with him. He was filipino and Chinese. I realized that maybe it’s a good idea to marry someone who is part Asian.

I’ve gotten rejected before, not everyone’s heart is open. But I’m getting to the point where I don’t care if their hearts are closed. Love is not afraid of rejection.

The other dilemma has also been false guilt. When I go to these restaurants, I may wonder if the staff thinks weirdly of me because I come alone and I often become friends with people. No one else does that. Not many people. But since God has given me extreme courage, He leads me to the lost sheep. 

There are times I want to indulge in hating men when negative circumstances occur, I’ll talk to other female divine appointments…..for instance, I had a lyft driver who told me she did not want to talk to people or make friends right now because she went through a breakup in Februrary and 5 of her best friends have slept with her exes, so she does not trust people. Period. She grew up Catholic.

I felt led to ask her to join me for dinner and she said no. I asked her if she wanted to exchange numbers, she said no.

I tried right?

Here’s the deal.

When you are ready for marriage, when you are ready for what God wants for your life. You no longer submit to fear. You don’t entertain bullshit. You say yes to God, you say yes to what you want and you go for it even when others may judge or reject you for it. When God says “go talk to this person”, you do it because your heart is being unveiled. I go to this car rental place and many times God sends me to talk to customers. It may look strange how friendly I am with strangers. It may look wrong even, but I can’t live in fear of what others think. 

I don’t have one “best friend” that I call all the time. I realize it was unhealthy. Now I have many friends that I talk to. If I overindulge in false therapy with girl friends, God tells me to go, He’ll say “don’t hide” and I’ll meet a divine appointment that is a male.

He says “you’re about to get married, don’t be afraid of men”. Come out of hiding. Tell the truth, don’t be afraid of confrontation. If you don’t like someone, tell them. IF you like them, tell them. If you love them, tell them. If you’re angry, tell them. If you’re sad, tell them.108826858_10163969984480603_4279442601632246099_o

Here’s a divine appointment I met on a lyft drive- he is a songwriter for Sony and also christian.

And I had the idea to wear the rapper sunglasses and take this photo.

Give to this ministry-

Venmo –


Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!




Prayer request- Continue to pray for me as God has given me Hollywood as a spiritual territory.
God is leading me to people in West Hollywood everyday.
Continue to pray for me as the Lord leads me everyday to lost sheep.
Today I had a divine appointment. He was a lyft driver, we talked for a long time. He said he had no friends, he is on asylum in America and can’t go back to his country to be with his family because he is waiting for his papers. We drove by the beach and I had a dream about the beach and the ocean. He was Christian, but afraid to trust people, afraid to open his heart.
I had a dream I was prophesying to many men. I was going up stairs. 
Then the Lord told me to go to the Abbey and outside I met a taiwanese older gentleman that I met before. He asked if I wanted to talk to his friend and so I talked to his Singaporean friend on the friend.
I walked to the dog park and felt led to go inside. I talked to a few people but I got the weird look, like why is she in here when she doesn’t have a dog. Eventually I met a guy who was a dance instructor. His dog had a necklace on her. We went to go eat and talked for a long time. He said he was adopted at the age of 1. He said he was going to leave but felt led to walk into the small dog park even though he technically had a big dog. His dog’s name was “OCEAN”.
He said he really needed new friends too. He had felt betrayed by his friends when he needed help and no one helped him when he was homeless and living in his car.
Then I bumped into another man who was divorced and we talked for awhile. I asked if he was Christian and he said he did believe. We went to go eat and talked for awhile.
My day was filled with divine appointments. I didn’t have one moment of being alone really.
SAY YES. So basically there is no lack in God’s kingdom because when you seek God’s kingdom first, you have no lack. You are flowing in the ocean of God. There is ALWAYS food to eat. There is always Love. 


Venmo –


Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

Prophetic Word- Go After What You Want

Go after what YOU WANT!.png

I was driving in around the city and I can feel something rising up in me. Tears needed to come out. I just called my friend who needed space but God told me “call her”.

I was like “God but she said she needs space”.


I heard. 

I could feel my body trembling, I needed to let it out.

Finally I talked to her, surprisingly she picked up. I told her how I felt.

Then I heard go see her, but she said she still needed space. I called my other friend and also heard “go see her” so I obeyed and went. She said “I never had anyone visit me at this hour”. She was really happy and she wanted to go cruise but her mom told her no, she doesn’t trust new people. I said “okay I will meet her”. She said “no, I am going to sleep”.

Fear, lots of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure, fear of danger. Fear. Then suddenly 2 skunks appeared in front of her house. I was like wow. 

We talked for a bit and I could feel that I needed to cry. But it wasn’t coming out so I went around town wherever God was telling me, by now it was 2am. I was going to different gas stations asking about bathrooms. No, lots of no’s. 

“Fear of failure” I heard.

Then I realize God had been telling me to go see my dad but I had the excuse of “well I don’t want to be quarantined for 2 weeks”. 

God then brought a Taiwanese dad lyft driver to me to show me that there were ways around the 2 weeks.

I said “God I’m just going to be disappointed, what is the point of trying. My dad didn’t even take me to the airport last time because he had a migraine, then he stopped talking to me after I left”.

I tried to reach out to him for 1 year and he only wrote “wear a mask”.

That is the extent of our relationship. I was even happy to see one sentence like that, a reply, something.



Even if you know he isn’t the one, but God will say “go see this person”. You may be heart broken but God is working your heart.

I finally arrived home. I still hadn’t cried. But I needed to. I cried in the car but when I went in and told my mom at 3 am that I wanted to go to Taiwan she looked helpless and angry.

I said “God told me to go see dad”. Remember they have been divorced for over 20 years. “Why, you need to go see a doctor”.

She thinks I’m crazy. She doesn’t believe I hear God’s voice. So I said “I WANT TO SEE DAD!” Hurt filled her face. She couldn’t believe it. “You only come find me when you need me, then why did you even come back to America? Why don’t you just stay with your dad?!”

She was angry and I started sobbing, weeping.

I got in the shower. I started thinking “all my life people have told me I’m not allowed to have what I want”. They’ve thought I’m too much,  too energetic, too this. I’m not allowed to. I’m not allowed to travel, I shouldn’t travel, I can’t do this, I can’t do that. I shouldn’t do this or shouldn’t do that.


He said GO OUT! While everyone is telling me to stay in. While everyone is telling me to be afraid, He said “be fearless”.

I HAVE FREEDOM! I don’t need to be afraid of what my mom thinks or how my dad acts. It doesn’t matter. I want to see my dad.

Even if he is shut off, MY HEART IS NOT! MY HEART IS OPEN. AND I WILL go because I am not going to submit to FEAR.

I told my mom how I felt and IT UPSET HER.

What do you need to do or say to set yourself free, express yourself, tell the truth, do what YOU WANT???

Consider sowing a seed into this ministry and this prophetic word, there is power in sowing and I believe God will multiply every seed you sow! God bless you!

Venmo –


Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

Live Your Dreams Now

I wish someone told me when I was young….

  1. I am not responsible for other peoples’ feelings. I don’t have to take care of my mother. It’s not my fault that my mom is mad or upset.
  2. Have more fun. Don’t live out of guilt or obligation.
  3. Tell people how you feel. Let people know when you are suffering or struggling.
  4. You don’t have to carry other peoples’ burdens.
  5. You are enough.

And then….

6. You are beautiful just the way you are.

7. You are STILL beautiful now.

8. You are enough NOW.

9. I will restore to you what the locusts have eaten.

10. It is not too late. God restore to me the energy I would have had in the past.

Today I spent some time with someone who was super young and I started to feel regret….God I wish, I wish….but then I remembered that I am enough now.

God I feel like you took forever to fulfill my promises. 

That’s why I felt rushed recently. I felt this pressure on my neck, hurry up hurry up God. When is THIS going to happen? When am I going to meet my husband? When am I going to lose weight? When is this double chin going away (even though it’s not even noticeable to other people)? When…..which is really having a fear of death, or missing the boat.

I am afraid of missing the boat. 

Because I feel like God purposely DELAYED everyone of my promises.

So a part of me feels like it’s God’s fault. 

You screwed me over, that’s how I feel God.

I have so many dreams God, but sometimes it seems like it just keeps getting delayed.

But I have to remember I am living my dreams now. 

  1. I get to help people by ministering to them, prophesying to them.
  2. I get to travel
  3. I am free to roam, I don’t have a schedule usually, I don’t have to sleep at a specific time or wake up at a specific time
  4. I am free from societal concerns, I trust God with my life, finances, resources.
  5. I don’t have a fear of what people think (even though it may still come at times).
  6. I have freedom to take the bus, rent a car, take uber or lyft, I am not tied down to car payments
  7. I just danced in a parking lot, dancing to Latin music with a new divine appointment
  8. I got to graffiti in Venice Beach
  9. I was biking in Venice Beach and met some divine appointments, some nights I scooter on the pier
  10. I get to see friends during the day when most people work during the day
  11. I am building a live church organism where people build relationships with each other and are able to work issues out together
  12. Most of the divine appointments I have I meet while I am doing things I already enjoy like going to the beach, dancing, going to restaurants, etc.

I am reminded that having a husband won’t solve anything.

My God is my all in all.

Sow a seed to this ministry – 

Venmo –

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!


Experiencing Love

I was afraid to feel my emotions.

But I knew that I needed to let love in.

After I broke up with my ex in 2014, it traumatized me so much the thought of getting close to someone and then breaking up scared me.

It’s just going to end, I’d think….so why bother?

But what God is teaching me is it’s okay to feel, the pain, the joys, the happiness of the moment, instead of constantly thinking about the future. It’s for now, for today, not for tomorrow. Why delay the love you can experience now because you’re concerned about tomorrow. 

So tell people how you feel.

Admit that you like or love them.

It’s not about owning a person but expressing and experiencing love. 

You are worthy of love, of feeling your emotions.

I don’t need to keep you, I just want to love you. You deserve love. I don’t own you neither do I own you. 

You deserve to be loved. This I know.

Are you ready to let love in? Even though it may hurt, even though you may cry. 

I didn’t understand why I liked someone who is not going to be my husband but I realize it’s okay to like or love someone. Even when you get married, you have to love without fear of loss. You love because it’s human to.

image0 (2)

Sow a seed to this ministry-

Venmo –

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!



Recently the Lord will tell me to go see people and I will Him say “go see ______” but then that person will say “no maybe another time”. But God knows what His children are going through so when I do talk to them it turns out they’re going through a hard time. I pastor lost sheep too. So my heart can feel what someone is going through, and God will show me. 

I told someone “you don’t have to be alone, you don’t have to struggle alone”.

He said “I’ve got to just go through it alone”.

I started to.cry because that’s how I was. I didn’t know how to ask for help or to be comforted. I would show my best face. The truth is I’ve been going through a lot emotionally. I’m starting to feel my heart in ways I’ve never felt before. I cried 3 times yesterday.

I’ve become more tender. I can feel my heart in a deeper way. I had a dream I was praying over people in tongues. I met one girl who said she also spoke in tongues.

Yesterday the Lord led me to two people on the beach and gave me a word about them. I hugged them and felt my heart hurt. They seemed very lonely. 

Then the Lord told me to go to a bar and I spotted a man and asked if he was Christian. He said yes. I shared my story with him and amazingly he was supportive and understanding of my journey. Sometimes I get questioned and persecuted about the whole follow the Holy Spirit. My heart felt full from being understood and encouraged.

“Oh it’s family”.

I can collectively feel the pain of other lost sheep because I was also hurt and wounded, not just by the church, but by people in general. I was scared of people. I wanted to hide and I did for 2 years in the wilderness.

There is something about finding others like me that makes my heart full.

“Why won’t you let me in?”

It’s a dark place, it’s hard to tell you how I feel, but I want to be heard. 

I don’t want to do this alone. 

Reach out for help. You’re not alone.

Sow a seed to this ministry-

Venmo –

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!




My Love


I woke up at exactly 4:44.

This was what God revealed to me. The previous night I had a dream that there was someone I liked and he liked me and we were sitting in the backseat. The guy I didn’t like as much was outside the car. The guy inside the car wanted to kiss me but didn’t and I thought maybe it was my hair, maybe it was stinky.

Let me ask you, “what prevents you from love?”

What stops you from going after love? From the one you actually want to be with? 

Do you go after the one that seems easy, safe, comfortable?

Or do you go after your true heart’s desire? Do you go after the one that is already chasing you? The one who is sort of attractive but not what you want?

After God started bringing a bunch of divine appointments, some that were actually romantic God revealed to me a few things…

I realized that I would hang out with someone who was not attractive to me out of thinking that I had to minister to them. It was safe essentially.

I had several occurrences having to do with a friend-

  1. A guy that texted or called me who I thought was romantically interested in me actually hit on my friend in front of me, lied to me and then admitted he was hitting on my friend.
  2. A guy that I previously turned down asked for my friend’s number because he was interested in her

I realize that I didn’t appreciate their actions because I felt like I was essentially sharing my best friend with them and there was a lot of unnecessary drama. It was not good for my heart. I felt like I was not receiving what I deserved. I had greedy guy friends that took the easy route.

So I had met this guy that I was actually attracted to at the beach after another guy tried to hit on me. I was not attracted to him physically even though he was Christian.

So here’s the deal- I realize that my heart was afraid to go after what I actually wanted. I had a breakthrough yesterday. 

I deserve to have all the attention of one man. I didn’t need to share that attention. I didn’t need to feel guilty for not sharing. I could receive the love I deserved. 

I didn’t need to settle for less, I didn’t need to feel guilty for not liking someone for their looks. I didn’t need to give any men attention out of pity because that’s essentially how I felt. Maybe I felt bad that they were so lonely that I spent time with them.

I didn’t need to.

I needed to go after what I actually wanted, whoever it was.

I was afraid of heartbreak.

I thought that if he wasn’t the one there was no point in spending anymore time with them, yet I was okay spending time with the ones that were safe….

The ones I would never have romantic emotions towards. 

The ones that were like father figures. 

The ones that were not physically attractive to me.

Those were safe, because they were never going to break my heart. 

My heart would never want to be in love with them. I would never fall in love with them. I would never invest emotions into them.

It was safe, but it required no risk. I may never see them again, these were people I ministered to, not loved romantically. They were family but would never be a lover.

Here’s the breakthrough I had.

I finally just gunned for what I wanted, and liked. There was no reason or rhyme, no logic.

I threw off the guilt of neglecting the one that I wasn’t interested in. He waited for me, called me, I felt bad for leaving him. There is good old guilt. But why did I need to feel guilty for going after what I want?

Here’s the dilemma in life…….

guilt versus desire

I’m not going to feel bad for going after what I want anymore. 

I’m not going to feel bad for being happy.

I deserve to have someone all to myself.

I am no longer sharing.

I deserve love that is exclusive. 

I deserve to have what’s mine.

Are you ready for a love worth risking for?

Why invest time into someone you don’t even want to be with? There’s playing safe and there’s plunging deep.

Here’s how love works-

One party needs to admit they love you, or like you and you like or love them back. Often times there is one party that does not want to invest all of them into another party. They are not ready for commitment nor want to be vulnerable enough for that kind of relationship.

And that’s okay.

But even at an emotional level….when’s the last time you simply admitted you liked someone and had that reciprocated on a plain simple term.

It is not complicated, but we are so afraid to be heart broken that we play games.

When you accept the fact that you are worthy to receive all the love from one person, you will start to realize that you were settling for less the whole time because you really did not believe you deserved it….because it’s safer to have less than the whole package.

If it fails, you won’t feel like it’s your fault

It’s not your fault, this is all a process.

Are you ready to gun it?

Sow a seed to this ministry-

Venmo –

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!





Say Yes To Dating

Screen Shot 2020-05-28 at 1.06.17 AM

I made a video on instagram live about some realizations I had about dating.

Here’s what I realized….

  1. Many guys I’m physically attracted to often lack the emotional or spiritual maturity that I am looking for
  2. People who make me feel safe emotionally (and are emotionally open and vulnerable) are like father figures to me but aren’t physically attractive to me

Here are ways that I feel loved:

  1. When someone tells me the truth even if it’s counter what I believe, but can still be kind and loving towards me
  2. When someone buys me food, clothes, gifts, or gives me money (since these were not things I received from my father but when I did see my father these were things he tried to give me)
  3. When people hug me
  4. When people ask me questions about myself and take the time to listen
  5. When people compliment me and say words of encouragement to me

There were a few men I turned down that could talk to me on an emotional level and were emotionally mature but were not physically attractive to me….I don’t really understand why God did that, I’m sure it’s just because I haven’t met many men that are both physically attractive and emotionally attractive.

One guy told me that I would come around and see that he was the better option, but I told him that was not the case because even though I was emotionally attracted I was not physically attracted to him.

Here’s the test – can you imagine yourself kissing him?

One guy tried to lean in for a kiss and I backed off.

I realize I could not see myself kissing him because he was not physically attractive to me. Even though I felt safe and at peace, I felt no spark. 

Talking about dating has helped my mother open up to me. I asked her a few questions and the answers were surprising.

She never saw another penis other than my dad’s. I know. I was shocked but she was back in the days, they were much more conservative. I told her nowadays guys ask to get a room with you when you’ve just met him.

Men are strange but interesting creatures. They are beautiful but also weird. So are women. We are all strange and beautiful creatures.

Sow a seed to this ministry-

Venmo –

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!