Testimony of Divine Appointments

People have ears to hear and eyes to see but they’ve been blinded.

Yesterday the Lord brought me to a Lyft driver. I immediately knew he was Christian when I got in the car and I asked if he is. He was suprised and weirded out that I asked him that, but sure enough he was.

I can tell if they are, if they believe in Jesus or grew up Catholic, Christian. We talked for awhile and initially the Lord said to go rent a car, which was basically to go up this street in Pasadena. When we got there his interest was piqued. I asked if he wanted to go eat.

He was really surprised and said yes. He asked me more about the prophetic and I answered. He said that it was the first time he felt the Holy Spirit in a long time, this morning. He even woke up and listened to worship music. He hadn’t felt it in a long time and he had been praying for God to show him someone who is actually serving outside of the church, doing something.

I told him about how I would listen to God’s voice and meet tons of lost sheep or people to prophesy to.

He asked how I knew it was God, I said it was obvious I would meet the people God wanted me to meet, just as I met him.

The truth is, unfortunately, people follow their fears more than God.

I try to keep my heart open every day. But I’ve been crying everyday because I feel the grief on people, I feel their pain. Sometimes people act out and I don’t know how to take it.

I pray for the scales to be lifted it off.

He had been really hurt by the church. He tried to get a job as a youth pastor but they chose someone else since he was single. He told me he hadn’t seen his dad for 15 years, he was back in Africa. I prophesied to him that he needed to go home.

Later at night the Lord told me to go to Pasadena to see someone who was at a treatment center for Meth. He couldn’t come out because he’d be kicked out but I felt led to go to Target.

At the parking lot I met a guy with his kid. I asked for his instagram and read he was in prison for 10 years. He was locked up for firearms and shooting someone in the foot. He was also Christian.

May the Lord open your eyes and our eyes to His reality. I finally cried again at night because I felt the emotions of trying to reconcile with people but realizing that not everyone is meant to be in your life. I accepted that reality and realized that I needed to continue moving forward and prophesying as the Lord led me to- to receptive ears.

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Breakthrough Season- Overcoming The Fear Of Confrontation

God has delivered me from fear! SO MUCH FEAR. Fear of confrontation. Fear of everything. To the point that I am not afraid to talk to strangers and I’m not afraid to tell someone if they hurt me. 

I’ve been breaking through so much. I’ve confronted every hurt in my heart, even approaching people that hurt me from 10 years ago. When I’ve told people how I felt, of course some response is like you’re too sensitive. 

But when I confronted 3 Argentinians who mockingly said “china” to me, I started crying and told them I was hurt, they apologized and started opening up to me about their hurts. Yesterday I confronted my friend’s mom about feeling judged. It was a family gathering and I asked to speak to her privately. We had a long talk. She admitted that she felt like I dressed provocatively. She said that she only cared about me. I think it’s hard to believe that someone cares about me because I always saw care as a form of control. 

How I follow the Spirit. I was on the plane and noticed a girl with a cute outfit so I commented on it and asked if I could sit next to her. Who knew the conversation would lead to crying and hugs. It was very healing and it turned out we had a lot in common, including having faith in God. 

On the way to Mexico I heard the Lord say “talk to the girl” and she was also Christian. We talked a lot about relationships and the pressures that our parents give us. I told her she is enough in Christ Jesus.

I was waiting in line at the airport and I started talking to the guy in back of me. It turned out he grew up Catholic and does film. 

I heard “go across the street” and saw 2 Germans that do body training! 

I felt the Lord tell me to go to a specific airbnb and when I got there and went out, I heard go back to the room. There I met 3 argentinians and one of them was an actor.

I was really impressed by his work and asked for his autograph. He said he also grew up Catholic. One of his friends kind of made a joke about me being Chinese and the girl made me feel like I was outcasted. The Lord told me to tell them how I felt.

I walked over and said that I felt hurt by the way they were treating me. I was scared but I did it. They apologized, I had tears streaming down my face. I cried in front of 3 strangers who then welcomed me and started opening up to me. One of them said he had a daughter in Argentina and also grew up Christian. One of them said when they first went to Mexico they felt really alone and would get drunk and cry.

I realized that vulnerability helps others to open up and it’s powerful.

More divine appointments. 

I was on the bus and the Lord told me to talk to someone. However there was a kid next to the man. I asked the father if I could switch seats with the son and he said “no” 2 times. God suddenly made a way by having the girl in front of me move to her right so I asked to sit next to her. Well, we ended up talking a lot.

Suddenly the mother and son switched seats and I google translated “God told me to sit here, can I switch seats with you?” and she said okay. The guy I ended up sitting next to had been Christian for one year and had been traveling for a year but did not talk to his parents for 3 months at beginning of his trip since his parents disapproved of it. The Lord said to me “ask him to go home”. I told him but he said he didn’t want to. I shared with him my testimony and story.

I need your HELP to continue reaching lost sheep. Would you consider sowing into the ministry of breaking off fear and bringing people into community, into God’s grace and love? Thank you for your prayers and support.

I am also looking for monthly supporters, right now I don’t have any!

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I Am So Glad I Am Waiting Until Marriage

Yesterday someone said “it’s nice to just get to know someone without an ulterior motive” (referring to trying to get sex).

The amount of men that have written me on dating apps “sorry I didn’t read your bio but that’s not what I’m looking for” is astounding. Some online dating apps can basically be meat markets but God will lead the right ones to me, meaning the ones who actually still have a soul and heart. They are curious about a life higher than satisfying their flesh. I get to educate them about emotional maturity, connection and their identity as a child of God.

“You deserve the world”- I heard God say.

I’ve had guys guilt trip me about how far they had to drive to pick me.up. I grew up in a culture where hook up culture is normal and where girls drive to guys, where girls go over like a hooker, giving a guy what they want, flesh and body, no soul, no heart. I grew up in a culture where not only men are looking for instant gratification, but women are too. In fact men tell me there are not many women looking for relationships.

But I promise you- THERE ARE TONS OF PEOPLE WHO STILL WANT LOVE.

I KNOW THEM, a lot of them!

I had to overcome guilt trips where men didn’t know my worth and tried to guilt trip me about the effort they need to put in. I know how it feels like to be treated right, but it took a long time to understand and I’m glad I am waiting for marriage.

IF I didn’t wait until marriage, I don’t think I know how it feels to be treated like a princess.

I had to develop in emotional maturity to spot emotional maturity. I had to learn to confront people with hard truths myself to see if a male is able to do so. I thought I was ready for marriage but God had to fine tune me, teach me, train me through dating, through learning to confront the hard things.

I had to learn to express myself and cry in front of others, I had to express my needs and desires without apology.

Sex is such an instant gratification that men and women don’t develop how to communicate with each other first if they don’t build on the basis of love and communication. You do not need to communicate for sex, especially if you are self serving. I pray for our generation that our youth will understand the importance of communication and love.

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Write About Your Dad

The only thing I remember about my dad was that 6 pack of beer. The last I saw him was 1.5 years ago, the only thing he wrote me was “wear a mask”.

Conversation was not always easy.

It usually went along the lines of “well I think you should”…same goes as my mom.

I don’t know why I heard “write about your dad”, but I’m doing it. It’s 1:27am, I was pretty much the only person out and I have tons of energy. I’m tired but not really. I was driving around my mom’s car and I’m hopeful, hyped. I have had a few emotional breakthroughs.

I confessed things I felt shameful about to my friends and I had really positive feedback and no judgement. I haven’t had that for a long time and I feel loved, abundant. I used to have a lot of friends, but I never spoke up for myself. I let things fester, I grew bitter. I didn’t speak up about things that bothered me and today I feel like I actually have honest friends.

I hate it when people tell me what to do.

I don’t really want advice, I just want them to say “I’m here for you”.

I have a really strong personality, I cussed someone out on YouTube this morning, cried about feeling unloved, and well, every person I’ve met is a reflection of myself right now.

I met a confidante through an uber driver, he set me up on a date, now he is a great friend. I met someone at a recall newsome petition site, not on purpose but I was drawn to him. Seemed like we have much in common. I reconnected with a friend from high school who apparently took photos of me at prom. She said she had no friends really…I cried when I realized that she liked me as a friend.

It’s been a lot of healing and learning what it means to be loved.

The biggest thing I’ve learned is that love is not afraid to tell the truth, love is not ashamed or guilty, love covers all things. Love is able to speak truth. In love.

Love embraces you even when you feel ashamed or guilty, or when you tell your deepest and darkest secrets.

I’ve crossed physical boundaries with guys and that’s been my place of shame and guilt. I’ve managed to wait 32 years to have sex but the wait seems to be getting harder. When I reveal that I’ve crossed my boundaries again, I expect that people will judge me or tell me they no longer want to be my friend, but I haven’t experienced that.

I guess maybe my soul wants to be one with someone. I guess it’s time that I get married.

I FEEL LOVED. I actually have friends that I’m completely honest with and it feels amazing!

Consider giving to this ministry of reaching lost sheep- 

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The Secret To A Good Relationship

I wish someone told me this but I had to learn how to communicate with all types of people. I highly recommend people to go on dates to learn more about themselves, how to speak up for themselves and thrive in a relationship.

Most people don’t even know how to be themselves with others so dating really helps you discover how to be yourself at all times!

It’s not about putting up a front or acting but being 100% truthful about who you are and communicating that.

Here’s the secret to a good relationship-

The more you learn to speak up and communicate your truth from your heart, the closer you actually get to meeting your husband/wife.

People want to rush into a relationship without understanding who they are but dating helps you do that.

What I had to learn to communicate –

  1. My feelings
  2. My boundaries- what I am okay with and not okay with
  3. My standards- what I find uncomfortable with, with what that person does

I hope you enjoy the video….meeting your life partner is about becoming 100% yourself in every aspect of your life, it’s not about changing yourself to be accepted by a spouse.

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Bachelorette

God is it my fault? 

Why am I attracted to guys who are not possible, or available?

Or scared of their emotions. 

As I continue to venture forth and feel my emotions, express them, I’m starting to meet people who are present and loving, and able to discuss emotions, but it’s still scary.

I feel exposed, vulnerable. 

And telling the truth isn’t always easy. Because you may lose people from telling your truth. 

I called my friend from college this morning and she said she’s getting married in a few days. She told me she met her fiance on Bumble, I was excited to hear this. She also went on quite a few dates on Tinder. 

This was a confirmation from God that I’m “almost there”. This upheaval (a prophetic word I got from another prophet) has been strenuous at times. I’ve had to turn down men, and then felt a lot of guilt about it….then had to realize it’s not my job to comfort them. I’ve had to break cycles of codependency where someone I was no longer seeing kept asking to see me when he was depressed- I realized that it was NOT MY JOB TO COMFORT HIM OR CHEER HIM UP!Because my feelings were still involved the wisest thing was to give him to God and trust that God would take care of him.

Plus he was lying to me anyways. He was actually actively sleeping with a girl but why did he confess that he still had feelings for me?

Then it’s understanding why I am attracted to certain people and why sometimes these thoughts of “he’s boring” pops into my mind. I think I get bored when I don’t feel emotions from them…when they don’t express emotions to me. I get bored that way.

I’ve probably cried in front of multiple men in the last week. It’s pretty shocking to most men how easily I cry but I see it as like “God sent me to them to show them emotions” because they’re so emotionally blocked. 

My friend wrote the apps she’s on so I decided to share the apps I’m on-

Tinder, Bumble, Facebook Dating, Hinge, Okcupid, Coffee Meets Bagel.

You can ask me any questions. Feel free to add me on IG And DM me. Please no dick pics.

Consider giving to this ministry of reaching lost sheep- 

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Prophet and Pastor To Lost Sheep

I’m starting to understand myself a lot better and accept myself as how God created me.

I’m a prophet who also pastors lost sheep.

I flow the best when there is no one trying to control me or tell me what to do. I am led by the Spirit in me and my heart. I can feel peoples’ hearts. Control comes from fear so where the Spirit of the Lord there is freedom. Freedom is in direct opposition from fear.

I don’t deal well when there is

  1. manipulation
  2. control
  3. fear
  4. Guilt/shame

Some people are so used to those 4 that they won’t even recognize when they’re being influenced by a spirit of fear.

I love telling stories about following the Holy Spirit to lost sheep.

My heart gets tight when I am being quit tripped or shamed, I can feel physical manifestation of false responsibility= there will suddenly be a weight on my shoulder and my shoulder will start to ache.

If you often feel weight on your shoulders, it is false responsibility. You feel like you are responsible for someone or something that is not yours to carry. Pray to God – “I cast out this false responsibility to you and I denounce it. I am not responsible for his/her feelings or lives”.

I don’t do well with mundane facts, I don’t care.

I am a heart led person so my is to be led to lost sheep. My job is to set people free, so I prophesy into their lives and often leave. People do often come to me for advice but it’s also vital to note that I am not a therapist so I am not repsonsible to hear everyone’s problems.

I fix a “spiritual tire” by delivering solutions but often times people want to put burdens on me. They want to weigh me down with their problems.

People tell me I have to be more patient but my gifting is actually to catapult people and the quicker I can do it the better. Because most people are stuck and they don’t want to change so God sends me to people for a quick launch.

I don’t like to be bored.

Flowing with the Holy Spirit is NEVER BORING! When I am bored I can tell I am skimming the surface with someone and need to go deeper. Or sometimes it means I need to keep moving.

I am very emotional. I can feel peoples’ emotions. I cry and can feel their emotions. Which also means I have to pray often so I don’t carry peoples’ baggage home.

There is not ONE DAY that I experience the same things. I meet new people everyday and they are usually people who have been outcasted and rejected by their parents, society or the church. Some people find my life crazy, chaotic, sporadic.

I have rushed to the train station in a minute’s notice and have bought many flights at the airport. I have woken up with a word from God, instructions to go somewhere, packed a few underwear and called an uber to the airport.

I feel stagnant when I am submitting to fear. I feel refreshed, rejuvenated when I listen to God and go where He leads me.

I love telling my life story to people. I love to have fun and dance, create.

I don’t necessarily have to prove anything or do anything with people. I love adventures and having fun. Having fun is where I thrive best. Joy is the fruit of the Spirit, so if there is no joy I am probably allowing false responsibility take over.

God has been calling me to go to Alaska- if you feel a burden to reach out to lost sheep or help this ministry, please consider giving below. May the Lord bless and multiply your giving. God bless you!

Consider giving to this ministry of reaching lost sheep- 

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50 Dates

Some days God will lead me to musicians on the street

A lot of religious people would persecute me for this but…

A year and a half ago I had a dream that I was swiping on a dating app and I heard “get ready”. I thought it was only about finding my soulmate, I had no idea that it was part of my ministry.

I’ve reach thousands of people in the last few years, my purpose is to pastor lost sheep. So of course I am dealing with people left and right and also dealing with the drama, the triggers, the trauma of people.

People have called me “trashy” and “ho-ish” for talking to guys but believe it or not, a lot of the lost sheep that God brings to me now are men.

Some conservatives will use all kinds of rules to bar me and tell me not to, but even when I am swiping I hear God say “him”. And yes, I may not even be attracted to them. But that’s how I live everyday, my heart is led to lost sheep, the hurt, the outcasted.

So whatever means God brings me to them is God’s business.

The other day I met a guy outside Macy’s. He is a father of 2, he is on probation for beating up his dad while he blacked out and was high. I see him like a father figure, not a romantic partner. I have told him this. I’ve learned to have grace for men. His dad forgave him. He has no custody over his kids because of being on probation.

I met another guy online who was deeply wounded by the church, priests.

So no wonder the Devil threw insults at me through people. People have no idea the level of love I have for people. My heart will break and forgive when the lost sheep try to hurt me. I will weather all kinds of hurt and accusations. And of course I will speak my mind and be honest with those that hurt me.

I had several people block me and I felt the spirit of rejection try to attack me.

Last night I actually had a dream some witch was trying to attack me. But then some guy put two umbrellas over me. In the dream several witches tried to attack me. I also somehow got into a celebrities’ (screenwriters) house. She was a famous screenwriter and I was carrying a chair into her home. I thought she was going to freak out but she didn’t. I was part of the party. But I was scared to be found out. Eventually I started playing “throw the rocks” with her and all these people started exercising.

Yesterday the Lord told me to go to San Diego, I missed the early train and gave up. I was disappointed but later at night the Lord led me to eat with someone who was actually from San Diego. Okay God I get it.

I met a Christian who reached out to me on Facebook. Most of the people I reach have been severely hurt by other Christians. So imagine when I tell them the truth, they do not take it well.

God told me to tell this guy the truth. I said before we even met that I just wanted to be friends, but he thought there could be more. I also noticed his breath smelled but didn’t say anything. But then I had a dream someone stole my phone and replaced it with a fake one (communication).

I realized that I needed to tell him the truth (I kept hearing God say to tell him the truth), but when I did he accused me of not being tactful and lacking discernment.

He said that not everything I hear is God.

I have been prophesying for years, so not obeying God would be disobeying my heart. I knew I had to break off the fear in my heart. I was afraid of how he would react and sure enough he did not react well. In fact, despite how deep our conversations were, he said that there was no reason for us to talk anymore.

Consider giving to this ministry of reaching lost sheep-

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Dad

“I feel emotionally blocked and I don’t know why. I used to feel like I can tell you everything but I can’t anymore.”

“You know what it is, I think I wish you were the one, but you’re not”, tears streamed down my face.

The ship has sailed and I needed to recognize that God had better for me. He kept calling me, he still thought of me, but I needed to move on. He wasn’t the one.

I went down to the beach with a friend and this friend had attachments. I had feelings for him but I woke up. I could be stupid enough to play myself or I could wake up. I decided to wake up. This guy that probably had false responsibility heard about my day and decided to offer food to me. We had tried for 3 weeks, but I knew from the beginning that he wasn’t the one. He wasn’t even Christian, but he was a good dad. He filled a hole in my heart that I missed out on, a dad role.

So that’s the healing God has been doing in my heart.

I went home after the beach and told my mom, with tears rolling down my face. “Mom, I realize it’s not your fault that dad was an alcoholic, I’m sorry I blamed you for loving him. You didn’t know”.

I didn’t understand why God still had me living with my mom. In our society, it looks weird. Why is a 32 year old still living on a cot at her mom’s house? But I saw the beauty of our stories healing. I needed to heal from my dad issues and my mom needed to heal from her divorce even though it has been 25 years.

As I told her each story about a guy hitting on my best friend, a married guy hitting on me, a guy living in his car, a guy who was molested by his parents…whether these were guys I met or guys I ministered to, her heart opened a little more.

I had to forgive myself for loving a codependent, an addict. My ex was an addict, he went to cigarettes, alcohol, weed for relief. He was always too scared to face his emotions. I put aside myself to serve him. I was a taxi driver, a codependent as well. I picked him up on Valentine’s Day because he wanted to drink with his best friend.

That was the last straw. I was way too nice. I didn’t know my worth.

But I know my worth now. I don’t need to compromise myself for a guy, and I don’t need a dad. I have a Heavenly Father.

I told my friend yesterday to stop drinking, to slow down, but he kept pouring vodka into his gatorade.

A codependent? I woke up. I didn’t need to change anyone. I could only focus on myself and I chose myself. I have chose myself over and over in different situations……

Ladies, we play ourselves to be wanted and loved. But that’s not love.

Love protects, love honors, is he honoring you?

So I broke the cycle and chose myself. I went home by myself when I could have pretended to enjoy myself, but I didn’t. I wasn’t going to ignore my heart.

I broke two cycles. I walked away from someone who didn’t know what he wanted, an alcoholic, and I walked away from the past.

I met a girl too who told me – “what if you knew your husband was going to come in 6 months and you got rid of everyone that isn’t your husband”. It woke me up. I didn’t need to compromise or help anyone. I’m not here to be liked, I’m here to meet my husband. I’m not here to play games, I’m here to be chosen by my one.

Every person in my movie has been integral to my healing and vice versa. As God reveals the trauma and triggers of the past I’ve been able to breakthrough and love my heart better.

Give to this ministry –

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Unashamed

Why should I be ashamed of my desire to be married?

When I was younger I thought people who wanted to get married was well annoying. I really didn’t understand why anyone would want to be married. I thought it was a drag, a commitment and I was scared of it. My parents were divorced and I saw a horrible example of marriage. Cheating was involved, fighting, arguing.

But now I’m not ashamed of my desire.

I talked to a young man yesterday in his twenties, he was referred to me by a friend but I had no idea he was that young.

He said he just wanted to have fun, he also never met a woman who was actually looking for her soulmate.

He said some hurtful things like “you’re old”. At first I got angry and just hung up the phone but then called back and told him how I felt.

I said that it hurt my feelings for him to say those things to me. I reached a breakthrough in my heart…I realized that there were things I needed to say to people that I never said.

I’m no longer afraid to confront people with my true emotions. There are still a few people I need to get things off my chest with.

Recently I told my truth, I was myself and I offended a friend’s boyfriend. He was such a people pleaser that he didn’t tell me how he felt. Instead he told my friend and they both blocked me out of their life. He didn’t take the opportunity to explain how he felt. For me, I felt used. I didn’t realize she was using me to scope out whether he was a good fit for her. I said that he wasn’t to begin with because he was caught red handed flirting with other girls and that’s why they broke up to begin with.

But it also freaked me out that she got into his Facebook account to read his messages.

The point is….when I was younger I didn’t know how to tell my truth, but now that I’ve matured, I have grown so much in emotional maturity this year.

I had a dream that I was wearing all white and I had a bow on my neck. I took it off and found a shade under a tree and I wanted to give my “guy” shade too. He was not too far away. I was really hot in the dream.

I am unashamed of my desires.

I think that some women are ashamed of their desires for love.

Ladies, there is no shame in wanting to be loved. Don’t allow others to say that you’re desperate. The amount of accusations that have been thrown at me have been hurtful.

“Maybe you’re looking in the wrong place”- married couple I met.

“So what, what if you get married, your husband won’t support you”- my mom.

“It’s going to be hard to find a virgin”- strangers. I said I’m not necessarily looking for a virgin but someone who is celibate for God and themselves.

I answered “God told me my husband is coming, He told me this over and over, I don’t need to doubt God”.

I may complain and I may be frustrated that I had to turn down a few guys, it broke my heart to tell them the truth because who wants to disappoint others? But the truth sets us free.

I would be doing you injustice by lying to you and spending more time with you just to be liked by you.

I’d rather tell you the truth and set you free.

God has brought a lot of men into my life to learn how to communicate, to love them, to honor them. I really hated men for awhile. My dad especially, my brother. They all ghosted me. My brother doesn’t pick up my calls. My dad doesn’t either.

But thank God God has restored my opinion of men.

Yesterday I met lyft driver. He was heart broken. He loved this really hot woman and he found out 5 months later she was a hooker. He felt stupid for believing her, for being lied to. She lied to him and even asked him for a good amount of money.

I said “it’s not your fault”. He said “it is my fault”. I could feel a burden on my shoulder and started praying for him.

When I was younger I would have blamed him. I would have said “oh men are dumb, they just get infatuated with a woman’s look”.

But since I’ve heard hundreds and maybe even thousands of men’s stories, I am able to have more compassion. Women get compassion, how come men don’t. It is unfortunate that their dicks do more of the talking than their heads sometimes, but I am learning to have more grace for them.

So you understand why God sends me to men now? And why I’ve learned to have compassion for them?

I hope you are well. May the Lord bless you and please consider giving to my ministry in breaking off the spirit of condemnation and showing the grace of God to the world!

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A divine appointment in Seattle, it was 2 pm and I suddenly felt in my spirit I had to take a train to Oregon.
Another divine appointment on the train. She was Christian as well and I cried and talked to her for hours.
Divine appointments- I got off the plane and saw this guy jumping on a bench. I asked if he was Christian and he said yes. We spent more than 6 hours together.