Prophetic Word- Let Go of Control & Trust Me



Whenever we make SOMETHING, SOMEONE a “need”, we are living out of a spirit of lack, we don’t believe we are enough RIGHT NOW. 

1. Witchcraft stems from fear, which makes you try to control the future through any means (holding onto what you can control, holding onto things God told you to let go, trying to make things happen in your flesh, holding onto a past word and not being present).

2. When we are afraid to take risks, it’s because we are afraid to let go of control, it stems from fear.

3. Relationship with God vs. Witchcraft (trying to make things happen through your flesh)



How To Deal With A Guilt-Tripping Mother

How To Deal With a guilt-Tripping MOther.png

New conversation with God added-

God– she’s not your responsibility

Me– it feels really heartless to leave her when I know she’s in need of care and love

God– only I can give her what she needs

Me– but what if she’s not going to you for it.

God– she will when you get out of the way.

As you know I talk about my mother a lot. She doesn’t like me writing about her but I feel like it helps people. Of course I don’t let her read them. A writer vows to tell the truth at all times, so here’s my truth.

I’ve included a video to help you.

It’s the holidays, how many people are guilt tripped to do what they DON’T WANT.

Questions to ask yourself-

  1. What season am I in? A season of rest, work, or healing? Your priority isn’t to live for someone else but to live for God and what God has told you. So if your priority isn’t to please your mother or family right now, it’s important to set boundaries and not succumb to spending every second with them.
  2. Whenever someone ask you to do something, walk outside and ask yourself if it’s something you want to do or if God has called you to it?

How to Deal with Guilt-tripping mothers or people-

1. Do not submit to what they ask of you out of guilt!

2. Explain why you don’t want to do what they ask of you. Don’t get angry back, just explain.


4. Be able to have a real talk with them about how it makes you FEEL when they do specific things like give you the SILENT treatment. “It makes me feel guilty when you don’t talk to me, you have to tell me how you’re actually feeling, can you communicate honestly with me?”

5. ASK them what they are feeling. Even if they yell eventually they will break and tell you what they’re ACTUALLY GOING THROUGH. Maybe they are afraid of the unknown, they are unsure about their life right now, maybe they are scared of being unemployed right now, or they have personal fears they are not letting you know about. 

How people act towards you usually has nothing to do with you.

People have issues, people get triggered.

Now say out loud-

I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there’s no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

Things you NEED TO KNOW-

  1. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT IF someone is mad at you.
  2. If someone holds a grudge, it’s also not your fault. Because if you apologize, they may still hold that grudge.
  3. You are doing the BEST YOU CAN. Now it’s another issue if you never admit fault.
  5. There is a responsibility to TAKE CARE OF YOUR EMOTIONS or GO TO GOD for emotional support. Then there is going to people and telling them WHAT YOU NEED from them. 

a. For example I like to be loved this way- touch, texting, calling, gifts, spending time, etc.

b. Express what you need….I need alone time.

c. Ask what they need to feel loved.

6. COMMUNICATION IS EVERYTHING! And finally YOU CANNOT FULFILL EVERY DESIRE AND NEED SOMEONE HAS, only GOD can! Be okay releasing them to God for what only God can do for someone! 

Prayer- God today I release that person into your care and love. I cannot love them the way you can. I release all control of their heart to you. I release my anxieties to you as well. I am not in control. Only you can love them the way they need to be loved. It is NOT my responsibility to take care of them, it is yours God.

It’s important that you don’t become the person someone relies on all the time, because then you take the place of God in their lives.

Consider giving to this ministry this Christmas! That people may be set from from guilt and condemnation through the materials I produce on Spotify, this blog and digital content. Thank you!


God Is The One Who Gave You The Desires In Your Heart ❤️ So Don’t Live From A Place Of Guilt

Here’s some questions to ask yourself when you don’t want to go somewhere or be at some event with family or friends-

1. Do I feel guilty for not going? (Spirit of condemnation)

2. Do I feel like I’ll miss out if I don’t go? (Spirit of lack)

Even going to church is a form of obligation. If you feel like you’re missing out if you don’t go to church, or that you won’t receive the spiritual food you need- it’s actually a form of guilt and condemnation.

That means Jesus isn’t enough for you.

If you want to go, yes, by all means go- but you shouldn’t go because you feel like you’ll miss out on something for not going.

Jesus already died on the cross for you to be enough.

I believe much of what “Christians” do actually come from guilt and obligation, not love or desire.

Desire should be at the root of everything we do.

Because it is God’s spirit that gives you the will and action to do.

for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Philippians 2:13

So if we are making decisions to do things out of guilt or maybe hoping if we do it we get what we want in return, it’s not God.

1. Do you have the will to do? Do you actually want to?

The religious spirit tells you you’re not allowed to have what you want until you do what God says.

It’s a works system that says you only deserve to have something because of your “obedience”. It’s like employee and employer.

You’re not an employee, you’re a daughter and son of God!

You don’t get paid by God for the hours you worked.

You’re a child of God that has everything God has and this also means you trust that God has your best in mind like a child trusts His papa. So you walk in alignment with Him when He speaks, it’s not to control you but to guide you.

Here’s an example of guilt versus desire. My mom asked me if I wanted to get hot pot and I said no I want pancakes and she said you should eat pancakes it has a lot of carbs.

She got mad that I didn’t want to go with her. I felt some guilt and thought maybe I should.

But then when I started writing this I realize it was guilt tripping me. I’m glad I decided to follow the desires of my heart this morning.

Consider giving to this ministry this Christmas! That people may be set from from guilt and condemnation through the materials I produce on Spotify, this blog and digital content. Thank you!

How God Has Been Preparing Me For Marriage

Some people marry their high school sweetheart and good for you, but that’s not my story.

My story is a roller coaster ride.

I grew up mainly with a single mother and my brother. And we moved a lot. I was born in Hamburg, Germany, moved to Taiwan when I was 5, then America when I was 8.

Honestly there were so many times I’d meet a guy and then he’s not it- I’d complain to my friends “why do other people have it so easy??”

But I don’t regret my life or story.

It’s super rich and colorful. It’s full of tears, dancing and laughter. Nothing about my life is boring.

I knew I had daddy issues that needed to be healed but I didn’t think it would be so strenuous. I had to meet men with a lot of daddy and mommy issues.

They say God brings people who mirror your issues or pain, well there were a lot of men that had mommy or daddy issues.

I was boy crazy growing up and never knew I was actually pretty close to my dad when I was young. I was shocked to see pictures of me clinging to dad when I was young.

At the age of 8 my parents officially divorced and I moved to America with my mom. Before that I remember my dad coming over to bring us toys. Gradually he came less and less. That was in Taiwan.

I didn’t know it then but I suddenly found myself shut down- because my dad completely stopped talking to me or contacting us.

It was like he stopped existing.

Then I experienced depression, I felt depressed and like a ghost outside my body. I started to stray more and more away from how I felt.

I journaled and talked to God a lot. I even wrote letters to my mother.

I appeared cheerful at church and school and became a helper. I helped everyone else to mask my own pain. People didn’t really know how I felt about my dad as I never talked about it.

My mother told me not to tell people that my parents were divorced. She was ashamed and was scared they’d feel pity for her as the church have us a single parent gift basket. As for me, I was happy we got gifts.

My first boyfriend was when I was 15. He was my first kiss.

I didn’t date much after that. I went to an all girl fashion school then started to date after college.

The young twenties was full of clubbing, but nothing crazy. I had my fair share of being heart broken. First a guy I met at work. Then a mutual guy friend, then finally when I met my long term boyfriend of 2.5 years.

He was emotionally distant and absent, like my dad.

He ghosted for days. I would think to myself- there are plenty of good guys yet I choose the most dysfunctional one.

I thought it was normal. But I realize it wasn’t. I was also emotionally shut off.

God had to fix my heart and my concept of self.

I had to learn that I was enough and not lacking.

I was not lacking a good childhood nor did I lack a father figure, for God had always taken care of me.

God gave me several college scholarships which I wrote essays for.

God protected me while I backpacked overseas in my young twenties.

God protected me from bad people.

God provided funds that I needed to eat and sleep while ministering to people on the road.

God did that, not my earthly father.

God healed my heart of every relationship, every heart break, God did that.

Jesus died on the cross for me to be whole, He took on every lack and said it is finished when He took His last breath.

So no, I don’t have a sob story- I have Jesus the risen Christ on the inside of me.

I am powerful beyond measure.

I’ll be happy to share more later!!!

May you come to a point where you realize how powerful you are!

Don’t feel sorry for people- share Jesus who takes away every deficiency from you.


Why I Left Everything To Follow Jesus

I left my career and family to follow Jesus-

I got rid of my car, my possessions, stopped renting my apartment.

People thought I was crazy.

My mom told me she thinks I’m smart but I don’t use it. It’s sad that the world judges people by accomplishment versus authority. Someone who has authority in Christ does not use if for anything, they use it only when God says. I used it to feed sheep. I left everything to follow Jesus, it was a huge sacrifice to leave my career and family for sheep. Why would anyone go and leave everything for people they don’t even know. It’s the burning love of God, saying I’m not leaving the lost sheep behind.

8-9 For the third test, the Devil took him to the peak of a huge mountain. He gestured expansively, pointing out all the earth’s kingdoms, how glorious they all were. Then he said, “They’re yours—lock, stock, and barrel. Just go down on your knees and worship me, and they’re yours.”

10 Jesus’ refusal was curt: “Beat it, Satan!” He backed his rebuke with a third quotation from Deuteronomy: “Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness.”

11 The Test was over. The Devil left. And in his place, angels! Angels came and took care of Jesus’ needs.

Why would anyone be tested by Satan in the wilderness. Why would I have almost starved to feed the sheep. To find sheep. To be seasick, have diarrhea, to have fevers, to throw up on a plane, to have $5 left, to eat ramen, to not know where I’m going to sleep until God said. Why would I arrive in a foreign country without knowing where I was going to sleep because I was supposed to meet a divine appointment somewhere before landing or during landing and God would lead me to that person.

The compelling grace and love of God that said to me- nothing else but Jesus, I’ve tried everything else in my life and it led me to disappointment.

God alone fulfilled the empty void in my heart that I tried to fill with anything else.

Jesus alone. Filled my heart and so I went and shared Jesus with others.

And yes those who didn’t understand the worth and love of Jesus thought I was crazy. They wanted me to be stable, they wanted me to be like everyone else, to have a normal job and a normal life.

Oh but the blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus. They did not see the blood of Jesus- the worth of Jesus. They wanted his money, not his crown.

They wanted his blessings, not his presence.

He was beat to pulp for your sake, yet you throw his garments out to sell it for a meal.

I went through the fire. I went through the fire. I held his hand and went through the fire. Now the demons are scared because they know I know the power of the blood.

I will not bend for the glory of the world. I have been tested In the wilderness. The glory and fame, the money and “appearances”, trying to gain worth from external things, people pleasing- it’s all trash compared to Jesus.

The test is always –

What are you willing to give up to follow Jesus.

Do you see His worth?

Or is He just there, a backup Plan?

Are you married to Jesus or are you dating Him?

Do you have other lovers?

Is it a guy, your career, your plans?


Do You Believe You Are Enough When The Lights Dim?

I’ve been on reality shows and tv shows, and though I wanted to be known, I realize there’s nothing like the peace of knowing you are enough now.

Because the lights will dim and the applause will stop as you lay back on your bed.

When you’re left to face the mirror.

Do you like you?

Do you feel like you are enough.

I met a girl who worked for a celebrity. She was lonely and depressed. A guy too, working always, never enough. Longing for acceptance.

I’ve been to the glitz and glam and their souls still cried out “I’m not enough”.

All the drugs, weed, gambling, sex, money, clothes, fame and popularity won’t suffice if you’re looking for your worth in something other than God.

Do you know who you are?

A child of God.

Redeemed by the most high Jesus, pure and blameless becoming sin for you.

So that you could be whole and without sin.

All the lights will dim.

They are just numbers.

As soon as encouragement comes, another criticism.

Something new, tomorrow old.

Even the friendships may dim and feelings grow cold.

But God will never leave you.

What’s a win, when I see someone turn to Jesus and stop looking for acceptance anywhere else.

If you’re going to perform, perform for expression not for desperation of approval.

God created the world.

He created because He was.

He didn’t create for our approval.

He created as an expression of who He was.

I pray today you’ll be able to create out of who you are, not for approval, validation, or even survival.

God created out of rest. He always had enough. He always was.


Prophetic Word – Break Off The Fear Of Lack

God spoke such a convicting word to me today.

He said –

“People pray for things but it’s because if they get it they won’t need me and it will add to their worth, which they think is lacking right now“.

And that’s a lie because Jesus’ sacrifice made you whole on the cross. So when God sees you He only sees Jesus, whole and unblemished.

Our prayers should be “the lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing”. That’s what I kept decreeing when I was on an island in Vietnam and didn’t know I was going to survive or even get off the island. I had less than $20 left. I was crying and really afraid. But I said God you said you are my shepherd and I lack nothing. That’s my reality.

When I was eating outside a man came by and later came back. I didn’t tell him my situation exactly but I told him I was being led by the spirit and doing it by faith. He turned out to be a believer and said he wanted to give. He was actually not wanting to withdraw money again because of atm fees, but God was really testing his trust in Him. He had a fear of lack and God sent me to show Him trust.

Our prayers shouldn’t be “God give us more money. It should be God I lack nothing, continue being my provider”.

I have a strong anointing to break off the “identity of lack” because I lacked all things in the natural. I followed the Holy Spirit to pastor lost sheep and didn’t even have enough money to pay for a hostel. God led me to where I needed to go as He told me to ask specific people on the road for help.

One guy at Macdonald’s made me feel ashamed for asking for help and I started crying.

God I am so ashamed.

I was so intimidated.

He said to me- “Do you know you are priestly royalty? And you are asking for his sake, not yours? Because he has a heart of stone and is not willing to bend? His heart has been closed for a long time and by asking you are (Jesus) knocking at his heart. Will you open and let me in? – I am saying to him”.

My job is hard as a prophet, I felt less than because of how the man responded. But God showed me again and again, you are my child. You’re my prophet. Don’t look at your circumstances, you are breaking hard spiritual ground. It was in a city in New Zealand where the youth I met at Macdonald’s told me it was highly racist and a stingy city. They were very judgemental there and didn’t like foreigners, yet it was a very religious city too.

The religious spirit was evident there as the man who intimidated me was a Lutheran. He looked down on me and asked if I always ask people for money. He was well dressed, but his wife wanted to help. She looked at him for approval and permission.

She was under control too. She was not free.

He kept saying no but finally she went to the car to look for change and when she came back and saw me crying, she said she would get more but never came back.

His controlling spirit changed her mind.

But remember God was specific about who to ask, because He knew what was going on inside of them. Remember this does not apply to everyone.

That’s why when God tells me to ask strangers it’s usually an indication of where they are spiritually. One time He told me to ask a group of Buddhists in India and they all started laughing at me. Why does an american need an Indian’s donation?

God said don’t leave until they give.

The only one that was open to Jesus gave me $1.

How willing are you to give into the spirit of fear and intimidation and give up on peoples’ hearts. God is building a I won’t leave until this thing breaks spirit.

God did not tell me to start asking people for donations until I was really ready to, because it takes a lot of supernatural courage to do it.

But the places where there is the most poverty is where God actually uses giving as a way to break off the spiritual stronghold of lack in that city or country.

Those who think they are lacking need to give to break off the spirit of lack.

One time I asked a homeless man for a donation, I placed a penny next to him. He said I have nothing to give. I said here’s a penny. I said you look at yourself and think you have nothing to give to the world but you are not lacking anything because of Jesus‘ sacrifice. Then God told me to give to him.

Sometimes I’ll ask someone for a donation and they will say I have nothing to give. Then I’ll say do you have $1? Then you have something and you are not lacking.

I was on an Uber ride and prayed and prophesied over a man. He said his dad died 10 years ago. He was grateful that God answered His prayers of sending someone to minister to him. God said to ask him for a donation and he said I don’t have any cash.

All of a sudden he said here. It was $10. Representing the prophetic word- he will restore the years the locust has taken away from you- the 10 years since his father died.

People think –

If only I get a perfect body, I’ll be whole. If I get my husband or wife, I’ll be happy. If I get a new place, I’ll be whole. If I get more money I won’t need to rely on God and I won’t feel like I’m lacking. If I just walk into my promises, I’ll know God loves me.

But all of that is actually a spirit of lack lying to you. It causes you to look at your circumstances (condition of your body, possessions, bank account, relationships, self) versus your identity as a child of God, reigning over this earth and having dominion over all things.

You are enough and you are not lacking. You don’t have to become more anything. You can rest in God’s perfect grace for you.

A sheep trust her shepherd (Jesus) to feed her and lead her, someone who relies on money has no shepherd or father.

I’m reminded when I was on the road and needed food or needed to know where he was leading me to sleep he always told me where and how. He often did not tell me where I was supposed to go until the day of because I wasn’t reliant on the plans but on God Himself. Was it scary? Yes. I had to pray against fear everyday. I also didn’t have someone next to me to talk to everyday but God always led me to other brothers and sisters as well and He gave me times of rest.

So it wasn’t MONEY I needed but his VOICE.

That’s why it says A psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

God does not want us to be self reliant or be in control. He wants us to be a sheep that trusts Him completely to protect us.

When we look at our shortcoming, we always feel lacking but when we look to Christ who is perfect and became our sin- we know we are actually whole because of His sacrifice!

Break off the fear of lack and reliance on mammon by sowing a seed of trust to God –

Ask the Lord if it’s time to give– when you know you’ve been relying on money or your job more than God, when you give- you realize no I am enough, I’m not lacking.