Performance Driven Relationships Vs. Vulnerability Driven Relationships

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This morning after I confessed the truth to my ex (about cheating on him 6 years ago), I had this realization that a lot of my friendships and relationships in the past were “performance driven” relationships.

My mother used to yell at me a lot. I had to practice piano for 1-2 hours a day as a child. She would leave the house and tell me to practice. I would read instead of play piano. When I heard her car in the driveway, I would start playing piano again. I wasn’t really doing anything bad but I essentially lied to her and would say I played piano the whole time.

Of course my ex said that I was selfish for telling him and that I am wasting his time. Because should it even matter anymore?

I felt God say to tell him the truth this whole week and I was scared to. I was scared of the consequences or hurting his feelings. I haven’t talked to him for 6 years.

But all of this exposed everything to me, about how I used to be in relationships.

He didn’t like my clothes, I had to change.

He told me to put on makeup.

It was a relationship driven by performance and people pleasing. 

Essentially – “I’ll be happy if you do this or don’t do this”.

Same with my mother. 

I tried to appease her but I didn’t like doing what she told me to, so I just lied or avoided telling her anything that would displease her. 

I went through a lot of trauma by myself because I did not want to worry her or be blamed for my decisions. Often times if I was heart broken, I would tell her and she would say “why did you get so close to him anyways?” or “why did you even go out with him?”

After her divorce, she never dated or married again. She gave up on men.

I felt alone in my friendships and relationships because I had to hide much of what I was going through due to fear of judgement or someone trying to tell me what to do. 

I have learned to be honest and vulnerable in my relationships even though it isn’t easy.

Even at the age of 32, I have told my mother that I am staying at my friend’s house and if it was a guy, she’d get angry.

That is why when I was 22 I moved out and never told her anything I did. I think people lie or cheat because they can’t truly be themselves in that relationship. Perhaps they’ve gotten to a point where they are hiding their opinions, perspectives, truths out of the fear that they will be judged for their truth. 

My ex often said that I was the cheerful, positive person. He thought of me as this perfect girl that was his only. He was controlling at times and distant at times. It was really unhealthy. I couldn’t tell him how I felt at all because he didn’t like talking about his emotions. At one point I had a male roommate who I could easily talk to and I asked myself why I felt so alone in my relationship but felt comfortable talking to my roommate. I was crying to him about my ex as he tucked me into my bed. 

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It didn’t make sense but I tried to find comfort and communication outside of my relationship because there was no communication or vulnerability in my relationship. 

Without vulnerability in your relationships, you feel like you have to perform and be something you’re not.

Honesty breaks every ice. No one is asking you to do something you don’t want to. Everything you do should be out of desire and the honesty of your heart.

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You Deserve The Best

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Last night the Lord told me to go to the Abbey and when I arrived I saw a guy sitting across. He had makeup on and a pair of glasses.

I gestured hello and asked if he wanted to sit with me. He was on the phone.

He came and sat with me and we talked about superficial stuff at first, things like “that bartender is so hot”. After a few hours he opened up to me.

I gave him a hug and he said that he was feeling suicidal all day and just wanted a hug. I asked why. I noticed that men started talking to me, or coming by to say hi. I saw his face. He would cringe and he would say things like “he is a jerk”.

He said that his ex boyfriend was abusive and hit him. He said that his ex changed his number so he could continue stalking him. “He would beat me”.

I told him that he deserved the best, he deserved to be loved and treated well. Even though he said he wasn’t Christian, I told him that God loved him very much.

I was saying that to myself as well. We laughed about things but I also felt this deep twinge of pain in my heart. When I got on the Uber, and of course the driver was Christian….I started crying and telling him that I deserved the best. He spoke very little English.

I kept saying “I deserve the best”. 

The last two guys I went on dates with basically were in love with their exes or someone else for the last 10 years.

Was there something wrong with me? No.

I just deserve the best. 

I’m not willing to be second best. 

Heart, LISTEN, never settle.

Heart, YOU DESERVE THE FUCKING BEST!

I’m so grateful that God led me to this guy. He bought me a rose. I know a lot of people ask me why God would tell me to go to the Abbey. The truth is whether someone is gay, straight, bi or trans, they are all STARVING FOR LOVE.

WE ALL WANT TO BE LOVED.

And God sends me there to show them love.

He speaks to our souls and hearts, and He is so loving to break us free of our unbelief.

DO you believe? You deserve the best. You deserve his full attention, you deserve to be first in his life!

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Prophetic Word- Moving Out of Guilt, Into Love

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You’re moving out. You’re expanding. You’re breaking the barriers of your father and mother’s issues and marriage. You’re breaking the negative cycles and you will never be the same. The pain will remain in the past and you will shout for joy. You will receive the inheritance and the promises I have promised you because you didn’t give up when it hurt, when you had to face your past and your mistakes.

You’ve received the full grace, you’ve accepted that I made you righteous by the blood of Jesus. You are whole because of my work, not yours. You’ve been made clean.

Now that’s power. You have power within you, me in you.

Sell everything and follow me.

You’re not your mother or your father. You are not your issues, you are not your things and your possessions. You are not your past, you are whole, clean, pure.

I only see Jesus in you, nothing else. 

Sell everything and follow me. 

Put on the ring and truth of righteousness. You are no longer your sins and your past. 

Forgive those who hurt you, forgive the past, forgive those who have disappointed you.

“I forgive my friends, my ex friends, I forgive my dad and mom, I forgive my ancestors, I forgive. For you forgave them on the cross. I no longer have to play Jesus. I am not Jesus or God. I am not. I denounce false responsibility. I repent for playing God. I am only human. I am not responsible even for my own short comings and for my future. It is by and through grace that I receive your promises, not my strivings”.

I receive it freely, I receive it all freely God. I partake of the meal, I partake of the promises. I partake of the health and abundance that you have paid for already. I no longer have to pay for it. It is free. I am free from my past and I don’t have to punish myself for the past. I am free.

No more guilt, no more condemnation. I am free, I am free, I am free. 

Move out, move out and see that you no longer live inside the box of guilt. You are free. Free to pursue your hearts’ desires. 

I give you permission to run after your hearts’ desires.

They may point fingers, they may not understand, but you run. All the other voices will dissipate, as you embrace love for what it is.

“I just want to be loved for who I am”. Then you will receive just that, a flaming fierce bright love, that will captivate you, hold you and never let go. 

I deserve what is mine, I deserve love that is loyal, true, committed. I deserve passionate love, communicative love, burning and vulnerable love. And you shall receive in 100 fold. Freely, without strife, as Adam and Eve were, free of burdens and free of concerns, under the cool of God’s creations.

You shall receive it. Freely, open your arms now.

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Good Love

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You encounter such bad love your whole life that you don’t know what good love is. 

And you finally open up, you want to be an open book but those around you want to shut down. You want to be loved and accepted for all of you, not just a part of you. So you share, but you feel judged.

But now, you’ve reached a new level.

It’s a healthy love.

They will embrace and love you even if your emotions are messy, even if you try to run, they run after you, they won’t let you hide, they’ll uncover the blanket hiding all your mess. They see the mess and they love you, they let you cry on their shoulder.

That’s what I’m experiencing now. 

You can come to a point that you communicate everything on your mind, and it feels amazing.

You don’t have to run from the people that want to love you, you run into their arms.

Even if that person is simply a friend, not your husband.

You don’t need to keep or own a person, you can love and express love without judgement or rejection. 

I realize why I felt the need to socialize and minister to people when I was with my friend. There was a block. There were friends that didn’t really allow themselves to emote, or to feel their emotions. I’d want to talk to other people to feel my emotions.

I’m seeing old cycles broken in my life.

Cycles where I used sexuality to feel my emotions, cycles where I ran to distractions and temporary pleasures to gratify the numbness.

I’m finally feeling all of my emotions, I’m accepting them.

I can talk about all my emotions and not be afraid to feel them. I dated an ex that never talked about his emotions, it was impossible to connect with him. Because of that, I ended up cheating on him.

I felt like I was not allowed to have “negative” emotions and whenever I talked about how I felt, he would shut me down and tell me not to talk about it. He had panic attacks, he had anxiety, he never cried. He only cried when we broke up.

I felt alone in that relationship.

I felt utterly alone and unloved because my emotions were not accepted or valued.

Now, I know what love is supposed to feel like.

I’m supposed to be able to run to the people I love for love, not run away from them to feel my emotions. All of my feelings and emotions should be valued and validated in a relationship, not just the positive ones.

I should be able to feel scared, sad or angry in a relationship. I should be able to be upset. I should be able to feel however I feel whenever I feel them and be heard and understood in that relationship. And even if that person does not understand, they can express that they aren’t able to understand it but they’ll try.

Communication is everything. Let’s communicate to each other, let’s dialogue instead of dictate.

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Live Life In Freedom

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They tell me 

“well you shouldn’t have….” because this or that wouldn’t have happened.

You shouldn’t have crossed the road, because if you wouldn’t have crossed the road, you wouldn’t have fallen.

You shouldn’t have fallen in love, because you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.

You shouldn’t have….

But they live in a box full of guilt and condemnation. They devil taunting them, you shouldn’t have, you could have prevented yourself from getting hurt.

So they live in fear, inside their house as demons tell them “don’t go out, you’ll get hurt”.

Sure, I get hurt and things happen to me.

Things that probably don’t happen to most people. But you do realize I am a prophet and the devil will try to stop me from being free right?

From preaching “no condemnation in Christ Jesus?” The devil will use anything to say “well you shouldn’t have”.

Don’t be out, they say. 

Don’t do this, they say. 

Lots of red tape and yellow tape. They try to put tape on me. If only, they say.

There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. I followed my heart and I fell on the street. I got a few marks on my face, a bit on my legs and arms, but I am a warrior. I loved with all my heart. I fell down off the cliff but God lifted me up.

I could hide in a cave, but the enemy would love that. 

I could start numbering and measuring, instead of loving. I could start using logic and reading, trying to figure out how to best “prevent hurt from happening and my heart from breaking”, but I would never live.

I could become a recluse and never talk to another human being, then I would have no drama and no tears to cry, but I would be alone, utterly alone, devoid of love. 

I fall head first, and I use my heart, not my logic. I love with all my being and heart.

And they point fingers and say “well you shouldn’t have”. They don’t understand becauseI they think with their heads and not their heart. They’ve shut love out. Love is not logical, love is passionate, messy, full of mistakes.

Growing up I saw marriages made out of logic. You see, they tick all the boxes but there is no chemistry or passion. I saw white picket fence relationships. “We look good to others”, it was a front.

Regret is not from God. 

I accept all the decisions I’ve ever made and I accept that I was living in freedom. There was nothing I could have done to prevent what I needed to experience. 

But why do I need to get hurt? Is it necessary? 

Yes, you are whole in my eyes. The hurt is only momentary. You loved and lived, and you were better for it. You are so rich because you choose to love with everything you have. You are a zillionaire because you choose to live outside the box and cage of fear. 

God has already made you pure and whole by the blood of Jesus, you’re standing with God never changes, He never sees an inkling of sin or mistakes in you. 

So why do we live our lives fearing that we will make a mistake or get hurt?

We base our decisions on one fear, “I never want to get divorced….I learned from my parents” (fear of failure, also a fear not from God)

“I don’t ever want to get heart broken, it hurt too much last time, so I’m never going to date. I’m just going to sit in this car and never ask another girl out, I’ll just wait on God” (aka I don’t ever want to face rejection again- which is a fear).

Life is full of unknowns. It is also possible to have a fear of the unknown.

I don’t know where God will lead me, so I won’t walk in faith- some say.

I’ll control and do what I can see- and for most people that is making money or working. 

You can’t see emotions, so most people don’t want to fall in love.

When they get hurt, they resort to making money, because they can see money and dollar amounts. You can calculate money, but you can’t calculate love. 

“I’ve been used, I feel lack, now I am going to ignore my heart forever and live my life for what I can calculate and earn”- some say. 

But your heart is still whole, it’s broken, but it’s whole.

Okay, it hurts, sure, but everyday is a new day. God is saying “don’t live in fear, you’ve been made righteous by my blood, don’t condemn yourself, you don’t hurt because of your decisions, you hurt because that’s part of life. Do you know that my love makes you whole. Feel the sadness and the emotions, but don’t stop living life. I’m holding your heart”.

I’m healing your heart, says God.

Religion says “if I follow all the rules, I won’t get hurt”.

Grace says “I am free in Christ Jesus, I can walk in freedom and trust with God and even if I get hurt, His love carries me”.

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When You Get Rid of False Responsibility You’ll Get Married

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The last year, from July 2019-now God has systematically helped me release false responsibility. I had a dream where I was wearing a dress with pockets and there were babies in the pocket. I heard “once you get rid of false responsibility you’ll get married”. I took babies out of the pockets.

Here’s what God did.

Growing up I often felt falsely responsible for my mom’s anger. I felt like it was my fault she was in a bad mood so I became a people pleaser. 

God started to help me see that it was not my fault but her issues with unforgiveness towards my dad and other family members. God used a gay social worker lyft driver to speak into my spirit. He said “it is not your job to carry the burden of your mom’s anger. Stop washing her dirty dishes and cleaning her room. If she is angry with your dad, it’s her job to tell him, not yours”.

God will tell me to go places and talk to uber/lyft drivers. He would send me to divine appointments on a daily basis. I would talk to these people about family and their issues. I would tell them my testimony and prophesy to them. There is no time or room for me to sulk or be afraid, I just have to go and speak. 

For awhile, I used to give rent money to my mom when I lived with her. I felt bad I could not give her money after I started freelancing. God told me “you are not responsible for her”. My relationship with my mom was strongly based on guilt.

Why is it urgent to go where God leads and speak, without fear?

Because God is promptly preparing you for marriage! 

I had a lot of false guilt thrown at me recently.

Things like –

  1. Someone needed help but I was not able to, so I said so and this person guilt tripped me by saying “so you’ll only help when it’s convenient for you?”
  2. Someone’s car got towed while we were hanging out – and even though I was not the one responsible for where he parked, I felt guilt. I had to cast it out in Jesus name.
  3. A friendship ended and I felt falsely responsible and I tried everything I can to save it, but I realized it needed to end because we were codependent.

God systematically REMOVED every hindrance to marriage.

I didn’t realize how MUCH people are actually not ready for marriage.

I didn’t realize how much God needed to teach me before I got married.

He sent me fathers who have cheated on their wives, He sent me people who struggle with porn, He sent me people who have trouble communicating, He sent me people who were shut down like my dad, He sent me people to teach me forgiveness and to heal my heart from the issues with my mom and dad.

All so that I can have an understanding and a soft heart, and not live in bitterness and anger.

I had to learn to express anger because I thought it was bad to express anger. I thought anger resulted in making others feel guilty (with my mom).

I had a guy that I liked hit on my friend in front of me, also triggering any trust issues that I may have had towards my friend. I expressed my anger towards him and learned to forgive him. 

I had to express how I felt with men who did not respond well.

I had to confront someone who touched my leg.

I learned that I was not responsible for peoples’ issues. I had to set boundaries with the landlord, who kept telling me to do things that were outside of my responsibilities.

I learned that I was not responsible for cheering my friend up and she was responsible for her own happiness. 

All of these seem simply but in the moment, it can be complicated.

Say I was out at a restaurant and my friend was in a bad mood, I realized I did not need to baby sit anyone. If I felt like I didn’t want to be around her, I could say so. If she wanted to go home, she could go. If I wanted to talk to strangers I could, because that’s what the holy spirit led me to do. 

Many of us live from a place of obligation. We think it is love but it is not love. 

Yesterday the Lord led me to several people. One Christian girl was heavily enmeshed in a 5 year relationship that involved abuse. I was walking on the street and noticed her backpack so decided to comment on it. We talked for awhile and expressed to her how I felt, prophesying to her as well, but I could feel her codependency. I had to discern that. I heard God say “go to the abbey, go now”. I could have stayed out of wanting a girl friend, but I had to listen to God.

Why?

Because I AM not responsible for her issues. I prophesied and prayed for her, but realized that I was not responsible to make HER feel good about herself. In addition, I felt that she was telling me what to do, telling me I should not go to bars and restaurants. But I had to speak up and say “no, God told me to”. I cannot submit to you, or fear. 

Sometimes we become close friends with people out of similar wounds, versus similar truth identity. The truth identity can be “I am a child of God”. But some friendships are built out of “self pity”.

“I feel sorry for myself so I am going to be friends with someone who feels sorry for herself too”.

There is no empowerment there. But there are friends who come in and out of our lives for a reason.

I am so grateful that even if I’m not ready to let go of someone, God removes them out of my life out of grace. I may feel hurt and rejected, but when I look back I realize that if I kept being friends with them, I’d continue to be codependent on their approval or validation. 

Now I am operating solely on His love. 

Not on other peoples’ love for me. 

Yesterday God told me to go to the abbey and there was a man sitting alone. I felt led to talk to him and turns out he grew up Catholic. I asked if I could sit with him. He was filipino and Chinese. I realized that maybe it’s a good idea to marry someone who is part Asian.

I’ve gotten rejected before, not everyone’s heart is open. But I’m getting to the point where I don’t care if their hearts are closed. Love is not afraid of rejection.

The other dilemma has also been false guilt. When I go to these restaurants, I may wonder if the staff thinks weirdly of me because I come alone and I often become friends with people. No one else does that. Not many people. But since God has given me extreme courage, He leads me to the lost sheep. 

There are times I want to indulge in hating men when negative circumstances occur, I’ll talk to other female divine appointments…..for instance, I had a lyft driver who told me she did not want to talk to people or make friends right now because she went through a breakup in Februrary and 5 of her best friends have slept with her exes, so she does not trust people. Period. She grew up Catholic.

I felt led to ask her to join me for dinner and she said no. I asked her if she wanted to exchange numbers, she said no.

I tried right?

Here’s the deal.

When you are ready for marriage, when you are ready for what God wants for your life. You no longer submit to fear. You don’t entertain bullshit. You say yes to God, you say yes to what you want and you go for it even when others may judge or reject you for it. When God says “go talk to this person”, you do it because your heart is being unveiled. I go to this car rental place and many times God sends me to talk to customers. It may look strange how friendly I am with strangers. It may look wrong even, but I can’t live in fear of what others think. 

I don’t have one “best friend” that I call all the time. I realize it was unhealthy. Now I have many friends that I talk to. If I overindulge in false therapy with girl friends, God tells me to go, He’ll say “don’t hide” and I’ll meet a divine appointment that is a male.

He says “you’re about to get married, don’t be afraid of men”. Come out of hiding. Tell the truth, don’t be afraid of confrontation. If you don’t like someone, tell them. IF you like them, tell them. If you love them, tell them. If you’re angry, tell them. If you’re sad, tell them.108826858_10163969984480603_4279442601632246099_o

Here’s a divine appointment I met on a lyft drive- he is a songwriter for Sony and also christian.

And I had the idea to wear the rapper sunglasses and take this photo.

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Hollywood

Prayer request- Continue to pray for me as God has given me Hollywood as a spiritual territory.
God is leading me to people in West Hollywood everyday.
Continue to pray for me as the Lord leads me everyday to lost sheep.
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Today I had a divine appointment. He was a lyft driver, we talked for a long time. He said he had no friends, he is on asylum in America and can’t go back to his country to be with his family because he is waiting for his papers. We drove by the beach and I had a dream about the beach and the ocean. He was Christian, but afraid to trust people, afraid to open his heart.
I had a dream I was prophesying to many men. I was going up stairs. 
Then the Lord told me to go to the Abbey and outside I met a taiwanese older gentleman that I met before. He asked if I wanted to talk to his friend and so I talked to his Singaporean friend on the friend.
I walked to the dog park and felt led to go inside. I talked to a few people but I got the weird look, like why is she in here when she doesn’t have a dog. Eventually I met a guy who was a dance instructor. His dog had a necklace on her. We went to go eat and talked for a long time. He said he was adopted at the age of 1. He said he was going to leave but felt led to walk into the small dog park even though he technically had a big dog. His dog’s name was “OCEAN”.
He said he really needed new friends too. He had felt betrayed by his friends when he needed help and no one helped him when he was homeless and living in his car.
Then I bumped into another man who was divorced and we talked for awhile. I asked if he was Christian and he said he did believe. We went to go eat and talked for awhile.
My day was filled with divine appointments. I didn’t have one moment of being alone really.
BE COURAGEOUS. PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. OPEN YOUR HEART TO LOVE. 
SAY YES. So basically there is no lack in God’s kingdom because when you seek God’s kingdom first, you have no lack. You are flowing in the ocean of God. There is ALWAYS food to eat. There is always Love. 

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Moving Forward

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La Jolla

“You’re going to forget me in like 2 weeks”

I’m like no. I kind of ended things with someone I was seeing and we agreed that there are several factors that weren’t aligned.

One was the fact that I was waiting until marriage to have sex and he wasn’t in a position to get married anytime soon.

Strangely someone from more than a year ago gave me a call on snapchat. I don’t usually have the app open. I picked up. I had blocked him on all social media because I needed to move on. I could not move on if I kept talking to him. It’s like codependency right?

I grew up with this concept that I needed to stop talking to exes completely.

And it is true, your heart needs to start over. 

As much as we want to keep friends with people we were romantic with, sometimes we just need to start over and “WEAN” off people.

Like I’m weaning off people in my life, to start over and meet new people. 

Don’t look back. Move forward.
It hurts, it hurts but when you talk things out in closure, you realize that it is true, things aren’t aligned and you need to meet someone who has the same values. 

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Prophetic Word- Go After What You Want

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I was driving in around the city and I can feel something rising up in me. Tears needed to come out. I just called my friend who needed space but God told me “call her”.

I was like “God but she said she needs space”.

Breakthrough.

I heard. 

I could feel my body trembling, I needed to let it out.

Finally I talked to her, surprisingly she picked up. I told her how I felt.

Then I heard go see her, but she said she still needed space. I called my other friend and also heard “go see her” so I obeyed and went. She said “I never had anyone visit me at this hour”. She was really happy and she wanted to go cruise but her mom told her no, she doesn’t trust new people. I said “okay I will meet her”. She said “no, I am going to sleep”.

Fear, lots of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure, fear of danger. Fear. Then suddenly 2 skunks appeared in front of her house. I was like wow. 

We talked for a bit and I could feel that I needed to cry. But it wasn’t coming out so I went around town wherever God was telling me, by now it was 2am. I was going to different gas stations asking about bathrooms. No, lots of no’s. 

“Fear of failure” I heard.

Then I realize God had been telling me to go see my dad but I had the excuse of “well I don’t want to be quarantined for 2 weeks”. 

God then brought a Taiwanese dad lyft driver to me to show me that there were ways around the 2 weeks.

I said “God I’m just going to be disappointed, what is the point of trying. My dad didn’t even take me to the airport last time because he had a migraine, then he stopped talking to me after I left”.

I tried to reach out to him for 1 year and he only wrote “wear a mask”.

That is the extent of our relationship. I was even happy to see one sentence like that, a reply, something.

Don’t BE AFRAID OF FAILURE I HEAR GOD SAY. 

EVEN if THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART LEADS TO DISAPPOINTMENT, FAILURE AND REJECTION! 

Even if you know he isn’t the one, but God will say “go see this person”. You may be heart broken but God is working your heart.

I finally arrived home. I still hadn’t cried. But I needed to. I cried in the car but when I went in and told my mom at 3 am that I wanted to go to Taiwan she looked helpless and angry.

I said “God told me to go see dad”. Remember they have been divorced for over 20 years. “Why, you need to go see a doctor”.

She thinks I’m crazy. She doesn’t believe I hear God’s voice. So I said “I WANT TO SEE DAD!” Hurt filled her face. She couldn’t believe it. “You only come find me when you need me, then why did you even come back to America? Why don’t you just stay with your dad?!”

She was angry and I started sobbing, weeping.

I got in the shower. I started thinking “all my life people have told me I’m not allowed to have what I want”. They’ve thought I’m too much,  too energetic, too this. I’m not allowed to. I’m not allowed to travel, I shouldn’t travel, I can’t do this, I can’t do that. I shouldn’t do this or shouldn’t do that.

BUT GOD HAS ALWAYS BROKE THROUGH BY LEADING ME IN FREEDOM! 

He said GO OUT! While everyone is telling me to stay in. While everyone is telling me to be afraid, He said “be fearless”.

I HAVE FREEDOM! I don’t need to be afraid of what my mom thinks or how my dad acts. It doesn’t matter. I want to see my dad.

Even if he is shut off, MY HEART IS NOT! MY HEART IS OPEN. AND I WILL go because I am not going to submit to FEAR.

I told my mom how I felt and IT UPSET HER.

What do you need to do or say to set yourself free, express yourself, tell the truth, do what YOU WANT???

Consider sowing a seed into this ministry and this prophetic word, there is power in sowing and I believe God will multiply every seed you sow! God bless you!

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Prophetic Word- Promises Fulfilled

Look not to your right or left, or to the past, for your promises are yes and amen and you only need to go forward.

No more regrets, forgive yourself. 

It’s in the past.

Now look forward, do you see the rainbows? I was driving to San Diego but felt led to exit San Juan Capistrano and then go towards Lake Elsinore. I was disappointed because what I wanted to do was shut down and I asked 3 Christians I met in the bathroom if I can use their friend’s jet ski and they said no. I took a detour and it was an hour longer.

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But then I saw this and God said “your promises are being fulfilled” and He said to buy flowers from there.

God is breaking off codependency and feelings of lack….things like “I don’t have a mom or dad, I didn’t have a good mom or dad” and God is showing His kids that they are not lacking.

I hear God saying “keep going” don’t stay in the place of grief. I am bringing JOY into your soul. Don’t stay in a place of dryness and hatred, forgive and move forward. 

As you release false responsibility, you will get married, says the Lord. 

Consider sowing a seed into this ministry and this prophetic word, there is power in sowing and I believe God will multiply every seed you sow! God bless you!

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