When You Follow Jesus

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When you follow Jesus, He will order your steps.

Before I went on the airplane to head to Taiwan, I started having dreams about getting married. In this one dream, I dreamed that I was wearing a wedding dress on the airplane.

On another day, I dreamed that I was getting married and that my mom had already ordered flowers.

SO let me just tell you, I had one dream where God said “get ready, and there were pictures of different guys and I was swiping”….and it has come true, God has led me to meet so many great men of God…I’m actually in total awe because I had a misconception that there were “no more good men around”.

But the truth is there is tons, but you will only meet them when you are following Jesus.

HAHAHA.

Which leads me to many testimonies of this trip.

I posted this on my facebook wall:

TESTIMONY and Prophetic Word for New Life City Church Cape Town 
This morning I felt led to go to church and before I even looked up a church I noticed a sign “New Life City Church” across the street. I said GOD you are making this easy for you. Praise God.

The message was about allowing holy spirit to move in the church and not being hindered by positional hierarchy (allowing church to minister to church), I start laughing.

When the message ended, God started telling me who to pray for so I went over and prayed for them. One girl in particular, I felt like I was giving birth with her, like Elizabeth and Sarah, where our wombs were leaping and I started weeping uncontrollably as I prayed over her- I kept hearing BIRTHING, you are birthing, you are birthing.

Pastor Demitri introduced himself to me, I asked to pray for him and I saw rain, heavy outpouring of rain and birthing, birthing. When I finished he said when I walked in he heard the word “angel”. He knew God had sent me to speak.

There were many testimonies, but that afternoon as I took a nap, I saw Pastor Matt playing piano and singing in anticipation, not knowing what his wife (Caroline) was going to sing next, but singing in anticipation. I saw that I was singing and some others in the church singing. It’s like you are finding power in the spirit now and making space of the spirit to move.

I woke up feeling like WOW. Revival. I’m still getting chills.
YES LORD WE PRAY REVIVAL AND RAIN FOR CAPE TOWN and AFRICA IN JESUS NAME!

I CANNOT MAKE THIS UP.

How good is our God.

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Yesterday morning I met a guy named David, as we talked and prayed, I saw that he was a revivalist…then he told me a story of how he had no money as the officials took everything away from him, he had a fever for two months, and the LORD kept him alive. A good samaritan paid for him to go to Kenya and get treatment. THE LORD IS REAL.

Today I offered guavas to two men in the kitchen and I said “God bless you”, and of course they turned out to be Christians. We started sharing testimonies.

This is holy spirit moving.

I have many more stories but that is all for today.

 

 

 

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Brave Heart

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I have many feels.

I am a woman of tears.

This season I find myself consecrated to God in pools and floods of tears.

He calls me to walk on water and at times I stare at the water, how deep is it? What would it feel like to fall? What would it feel like to drown?

I have these questions and doubts and my heart can’t comprehend the extent of His love…

I often say yes but there are times when He tells me to pray for someone and I say “God not this time, I can’t”.

And He says “my grace is sufficient for you”.

I know that someone’s miracle may be in my words and prayer. But the fears creep in. It’s a total stranger, it’s a group of people. They can reject me, they have a right to.

That fear sometimes grips my heart and I’m unable to say yes.

Because it’s too quick God! I just prayed for someone in front of Starbucks, you want me to walk up to someone who doesn’t speak any English and try to explain that I want to pray for him?

Yes. Because I love this man.

So I am sending you.

Reckless love, a love that knows no fear. This is what I am discovering about God. He wants His children to have no fear.

I thought I knew anything about love but when I’m confronted with my own fears I realize God is breaking off any measure of fear.

His love is so big He desires for me to love in a big way, without fear.

I am completely wrecked.

What kind of crazy love is this? This love that has no fear of rejection, a love that Is perfect.

A love that says I’ll put my heart out there regardless of how you will respond. God is not afraid of rejection, He will keep knocking until you open the door.

God will love in face of persecution and hate.

I will love even if I face rejection and persecution because this is my purpose. Love.

Come to me says the Lord, I will make your heart brave.

– I am holding a stranger’s baby. You see how open people are to love?

Heart- Come Out Of Hiding.

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Comfort is actually saying you have no more capacity to love or be loved.

This trip has been more about me opening my heart than anything else. Though I am called to meet people and prophesy over them, if has challenged my heart more than anything.

After each encounter I find my heart tense, and I cry to Jesus. In those moments my heart is expanded. God how you love, and how my heart is being stretched to love.
In the wilderness, I was comfortable, safe, wrapped up by God’s wings. He kept me there so I could rest from the abuse, the accusations, the torment of wounds. Though I was still accused by people around me, I didn’t have to face the normal amount of human interaction.

Before I left to go to Taiwan in July, I started having dreams about weddings. I dreamed that I was getting ready for my wedding on the airplane.

God called me at each city and place to go out of my comfort zone, sometimes He told me to pray for people at 5am, sometimes He asked me to tell my testimony to strangers, sometimes He told me to move beds so I could be closer to someone that needed a word…each time I thought, I can’t do this anymore, it’s too hard.

Perfect love casts out fear. He was showing me what it looks like to have the essence of Jesus- His love knows no bounds and is not afraid to show His heart at the risk of being wounded. Real love requires a risk of being hurt and wounded.

I realize it’s a picture of marriage.

Marriage in general but also the laying down of one’s life for another, the stretching of your heart, the capacity to give and receive love.

This is a prophetic word- some of you are still in hiding. You are hiding because of old emotional wounds and hurts. You don’t want to come out and be seen. When you are seen, you lay down your heart and say look at me, I’m vulnerable, I need love and I want to love.

We often don’t take time to process things with God because we are afraid of what our hearts show us.

God has stretched me so much, I had to continually examine my heart and allow His love to pour into my heart.

Where there was fear, love.
Where there was tension, ease.
Where there was bitterness, forgiveness.
Where there was hate, love.

How willing are you to be stretched by God so that you understand what love really is?

Will you come out of hiding now?
It’s a big love this love.

Your Love is Louder Than The Lies

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Osaka, Japan

Papa your love is louder than the noise of fear!

God we decree that you are protecting your children! We are not orphans that have to fend for ourselves! We do not live in fear of the future or famine! God we are protected by your mighty hand. God we cry out when the storm rages! You are our strong defender and if you have to use my Voice to speak up for the oppressed, I will speak in the face of demons.

Tonight, the night before I move onto another city to seek God’s lost sheep- I have yet another moment of fear.

The lady 8 doors down my room start blasting music or the tv. Of course no one will complain. Most people are too passive, but I go downstairs immediately and tell the manager. I encountered this 2 times already, each time I had to just confront the person. Of course I got mad stares. But my peace and my rest or live in fear?

Two managers had to knock on her door.

Sometimes when instances like this happens I feel helpless- because the first time this happened in Korea I had to confront her twice, the three times – that’s when she started screaming at me in Korean. I knew one word- crazy. I watch enough Korean dramas to know.

But in the spiritual warfare, the distractions and noise of the enemy I’ve learned to fight in prayer and worship.

I feel the fear creeping in but I say God I’m not an orphan! I’m a child of God and you are defending me.

Papa I will not fear. I will face the fears!

We are expanding God’s kingdom. Everywhere I go I meet His beloveds, I relay God’s message to them.

Spiritual warfare comes with expansion, yes sometimes its difficult and many times I weep and cry as I release fear or anxiety- but in those moments I get closer to God.

The enemy meant you harm but it only drove you closer to God.

God Is Your Source

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A lot of us and all of us grew up with imperfect fathers.

Some had absent fathers, some abusive fathers, some wounded fathers. Some of our fathers died early on in our lives, some just weren’t present.

As a child of God, we have to learn who God our Father is.

Many of us grew up to rely on ourselves, to rely on anything that seemed secure. For some, you chose a marriage partner to replace your absent father. For some, you chose money as a source of security. For some, fame and reputation and what others thought of you….

“Do not call anyone on earth your Father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven” – Matthew 23:9

Essentially what God is saying is – don’t make anyone your true source, don’t make your best friend your source, don’t make your parents your source, don’t make your job and career your source, don’t make what you do your source- let me be your source.

I know your friends may have failed you, your ex failed you, your parents failed to love you, but I the Lord am your sustenance and I will always be your Father.

I am your true source says the Lord.

I am your papa, your lover, our husband.

I will not abandon you like your previous lovers, like your friends, like your parents.

I am not like anyone you know says the Lord.

I will never leave nor forsake you. I knew your needs before you asked, I am preparing it in my perfect timing.

Don’t try to make it happen in your limited ways. The world makes things happen like orphans- I make things happen for my children. There is no strife, only rest.

Rest in my love for you.

They will see my faithfulness in your life. Don’t give up, stay in rest.

Just had a revelation- people also make a specific church or organization as their source, they also make ministry their source. As I follow Jesus to speak life into people some people are amazed that I was not sent out by a church or organization.

It’s almost like christians seek legitimacy for their worth from a certain organization versus from God the Father.
So we have a bunch of orphan minded ministers looking for worth in being approved by a “covering” when in actuality they just don’t know who they are in christ.

God wants to break the boxes that keep love in. He says stop looking for legitimacy from another Christian. You are my child. Follow me where I lead you even though it looks wild and free.

 

I really like this-

A Love That Doesn’t Hide

Recently I have been discovering what perfect love is.

When someone doesn’t trust you even though your love is perfect for them, it feels like betrayal.

When Adam and Eve sinned, they hid. They realized they were naked, that they were vulnerable. They felt in that moment that something was missing. They feared judgement because they had stopped trusting God’s intention towards them and wanted to know good and evil, as the Devil promised them. 

They stopped trusting that God actually loved them.

I think that’s where we often resort to the safety and false stability of this world instead of living in openness and vulnerability.

Shame came upon them when they disobeyed God.

God didn’t give them this “rule” to be mean, He only gave them this guide to say “LOOK I’ve given you the whole garden, everything you could ever want, but just not this fruit”. What God was saying was that MY HEART TOWARDS YOU IS GOOD! YOU CAN TRUST THAT! It’s not that I’m depriving you, it’s that I am protecting you because when you know that you are actually NAKED, you will experience shame….when in actuality EVERY PART OF YOU is perfect. 

BECAUSE when you are vulnerable, it’s actually perfection. But when you eat this fruit, you’ll think vulnerability and nakedness is shameful.

Sin is separation from God. At the heart of sin, it’s not that you are doing something wrong, it’s that you’ve stopped trusting God’s heart for you. The tendency in that action is that “God I don’t believe your intentions toward me is good, I don’t believe you are a good father so I’d rather walk a path that hurts me than believe that I am made righteous by your blood and walk with you”.

But God says EVEN then, my grace is sufficient for you. 

When we are sin conscious, we keep living a sin filled life, but when we realize Jesus died on the cross for ALL of my sins, we are transformed by the renewing of our minds and we now walk with clarity that GOD says I’m righteous and I no longer need to hide.

I no longer need to hide when I know I am pure in God’s eyes.

I no longer need to feel ashamed when my vulnerability and nakedness is perfect to God.

I no longer need to hide how I feel, even if it sounds negative because GOD loves the REAL ME!

I can COME out of hiding.

This is what LOVE is. There is no FEAR in love because perfect LOVE casts out fear. On this trip I have been STRETCHED in my love for people. I realize that I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT love because the more GOD stretches me, the more I see God’s HEART for people.

His LOVE really has no bounds. He is not offended, He is not mad, He is not mean. He only loves. He loves vulnerability though. Vulnerability is the heart of connection and relationship. When there is no vulnerability there is no possibility for love. 

When there is no trust, there is no possibility for growth in a relationship. When someone doesn’t trust you it means that they’d rather fear that you’ll judge them than trust that you actually love them….and that really hurts. Because it shows they really don’t know you.

But all the more it challenges me to forgive and continue pressing forward.

There is a time and season for everything. Sometimes you need to let go and sometimes you need to hold on. It’s important to know when you need to release someone to God and just allow God to do His work in them.

 

Korea

Farewell to the lovely and beautiful people I met in Korea. I pray each one of you would experience the everlasting touch of God on your hearts and lives.

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