Prophetic Word – Break Off The Fear Of Lack

God spoke such a convicting word to me today.

He said –

“People pray for things but it’s because if they get it they won’t need me and it will add to their worth, which they think is lacking right now“.

And that’s a lie because Jesus’ sacrifice made you whole on the cross. So when God sees you He only sees Jesus, whole and unblemished.

Our prayers should be “the lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing”. That’s what I kept decreeing when I was on an island in Vietnam and didn’t know I was going to survive or even get off the island. I had less than $20 left. I was crying and really afraid. But I said God you said you are my shepherd and I lack nothing. That’s my reality.

When I was eating outside a man came by and later came back. I didn’t tell him my situation exactly but I told him I was being led by the spirit and doing it by faith. He turned out to be a believer and said he wanted to give. He was actually not wanting to withdraw money again because of atm fees, but God was really testing his trust in Him. He had a fear of lack and God sent me to show Him trust.

Our prayers shouldn’t be “God give us more money. It should be God I lack nothing, continue being my provider”.

I have a strong anointing to break off the “identity of lack” because I lacked all things in the natural. I followed the Holy Spirit to pastor lost sheep and didn’t even have enough money to pay for a hostel. God led me to where I needed to go as He told me to ask specific people on the road for help.

One guy at Macdonald’s made me feel ashamed for asking for help and I started crying.

God I am so ashamed.

I was so intimidated.

He said to me- “Do you know you are priestly royalty? And you are asking for his sake, not yours? Because he has a heart of stone and is not willing to bend? His heart has been closed for a long time and by asking you are (Jesus) knocking at his heart. Will you open and let me in? – I am saying to him”.

My job is hard as a prophet, I felt less than because of how the man responded. But God showed me again and again, you are my child. You’re my prophet. Don’t look at your circumstances, you are breaking hard spiritual ground. It was in a city in New Zealand where the youth I met at Macdonald’s told me it was highly racist and a stingy city. They were very judgemental there and didn’t like foreigners, yet it was a very religious city too.

The religious spirit was evident there as the man who intimidated me was a Lutheran. He looked down on me and asked if I always ask people for money. He was well dressed, but his wife wanted to help. She looked at him for approval and permission.

She was under control too. She was not free.

He kept saying no but finally she went to the car to look for change and when she came back and saw me crying, she said she would get more but never came back.

His controlling spirit changed her mind.

But remember God was specific about who to ask, because He knew what was going on inside of them. Remember this does not apply to everyone.

That’s why when God tells me to ask strangers it’s usually an indication of where they are spiritually. One time He told me to ask a group of Buddhists in India and they all started laughing at me. Why does an american need an Indian’s donation?

God said don’t leave until they give.

The only one that was open to Jesus gave me $1.

How willing are you to give into the spirit of fear and intimidation and give up on peoples’ hearts. God is building a I won’t leave until this thing breaks spirit.

God did not tell me to start asking people for donations until I was really ready to, because it takes a lot of supernatural courage to do it.

But the places where there is the most poverty is where God actually uses giving as a way to break off the spiritual stronghold of lack in that city or country.

Those who think they are lacking need to give to break off the spirit of lack.

One time I asked a homeless man for a donation, I placed a penny next to him. He said I have nothing to give. I said here’s a penny. I said you look at yourself and think you have nothing to give to the world but you are not lacking anything because of Jesus‘ sacrifice. Then God told me to give to him.

Sometimes I’ll ask someone for a donation and they will say I have nothing to give. Then I’ll say do you have $1? Then you have something and you are not lacking.

I was on an Uber ride and prayed and prophesied over a man. He said his dad died 10 years ago. He was grateful that God answered His prayers of sending someone to minister to him. God said to ask him for a donation and he said I don’t have any cash.

All of a sudden he said here. It was $10. Representing the prophetic word- he will restore the years the locust has taken away from you- the 10 years since his father died.

People think –

If only I get a perfect body, I’ll be whole. If I get my husband or wife, I’ll be happy. If I get a new place, I’ll be whole. If I get more money I won’t need to rely on God and I won’t feel like I’m lacking. If I just walk into my promises, I’ll know God loves me.

But all of that is actually a spirit of lack lying to you. It causes you to look at your circumstances (condition of your body, possessions, bank account, relationships, self) versus your identity as a child of God, reigning over this earth and having dominion over all things.

You are enough and you are not lacking. You don’t have to become more anything. You can rest in God’s perfect grace for you.

A sheep trust her shepherd (Jesus) to feed her and lead her, someone who relies on money has no shepherd or father.

I’m reminded when I was on the road and needed food or needed to know where he was leading me to sleep he always told me where and how. He often did not tell me where I was supposed to go until the day of because I wasn’t reliant on the plans but on God Himself. Was it scary? Yes. I had to pray against fear everyday. I also didn’t have someone next to me to talk to everyday but God always led me to other brothers and sisters as well and He gave me times of rest.

So it wasn’t MONEY I needed but his VOICE.

That’s why it says A psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

God does not want us to be self reliant or be in control. He wants us to be a sheep that trusts Him completely to protect us.

When we look at our shortcoming, we always feel lacking but when we look to Christ who is perfect and became our sin- we know we are actually whole because of His sacrifice!

Break off the fear of lack and reliance on mammon by sowing a seed of trust to God –

Ask the Lord if it’s time to give– when you know you’ve been relying on money or your job more than God, when you give- you realize no I am enough, I’m not lacking.

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How To Break Unhealthy Cycle In Relationships

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It takes vulnerability to experience true love. It’s through telling someone how you actually feel and they respond with understanding that you experience unconditional love. Most people don’t share how they feel because they have been judged or rejected for expressing their feelings.

1. Be vulnerable- tell people how you actually feel.

2. Write down the patterns in your relationships

3. Address the patterns with the people and act counter the patterns, setting boundaries and asking for what it is you need and being vulnerable about your triggers and history.

Here’s mine-

A. 🙏 Friendships- in the past I was always just someone’s go to for emotional and spiritual help. I also gave rides to everyone when I had a car. I was exhausted from helping people.

There was usually a disparity between how much I gave and how much I received (not that relationships is about measurement).

I walked in faith, hosting events, etc but didn’t know how to ask for help. In essence I could have but I didn’t think anyone would help me.

It could be as simple as going out with friends and not being able to pay for meals, God has taught me even to ask strangers for help now…It’s still not easy, but in the past I’d pretend I was okay and I’d charge it on my credit card.

Of course God has told me not to worry about debt because He has already taken care of them.

Because He knows what we can handle. It takes steps of faith to speak up. I maxed out a credit card to start self employment and I maxed out credit cards to start my ministry. That was what God told me to do and that was the amount of faith and courage I could handle at the time. But yes it was scary to trust that God would someday pay it off for me.

Then the next step was in my faith walk was to come out and tell people what I was doing in my ministry, basically to start a ministry.

I knew it would come with persecution. But people also supported me.

❤️ In essence, what I told you is the same as opening your heart.

1. There’s hurt, but you don’t know how to speak up about it.

2. You learn to speak up about it but you’re met with criticism or rejection

3. You speak up about it but people love you nevertheless

4. Repeat (and that’s love for you!)

In relationships you have to know how to ask for help and give help.

But if you’ve had unhealthy patterns in your life, it takes time to reverse it. Or to wait for the people who are willing to love you for who you are.

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B. ❤️ Romantic Relationships

Marriage is similar to friendships.

1. Someone has to be humble enough to first express how they are feeling even if that means “look I am in a space of possibly being hurt by you”- basically saying “You have the power to hurt me”. That’s intense.

2. If no one is vulnerable it’s impossible to have a good marriage. But remember it’s a two-way street.

3. One person tries harder and harder to open the other person’s heart but it is a choice whether you want to open your heart, thus that relationship will most likely wither away unless the other party is willing to open up and share how they are feeling.

You deserve a vulnerable love.

You deserve someone who is emotionally available and who is willing to put in the work to be open with you.

It’s a choice whether someone wants to open their heart.

What’s the point of sitting next to someone and not knowing where they are emotionally. Physically present but mentally absent.

For me that was the worst nightmare.

Because I grew up with a mentally, physically and emotionally absent dad and a critical mother so my relationships reflected that.

And guess what- it took those relationships for me to see that it wasn’t what I wanted!

So what is it I want?

1. Friends that reach out and ask me how I am. And I’ll do the same.

2. A life partner that knows to reach out to me, that I don’t have to be the aggressor, which I often am in many areas of my life.

But that means I may have to learn how to be patient and wait for others to reach out to me.

Truth be told I don’t really have any patience.

My heart is more like an EMT, it knows where to go for help. It’s also an immediate safe place for others.

But I have to learn how to set boundaries and allow people to do the hard thing of reaching out or asking for help.

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What Is Grace and Righteousness?

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Okay so recently I was hit with a lot of feelings of guilt or blaming others. It was either like I maybe did something wrong or someone did something wrong to make me feel this way. It was one after the other.

Last night I was driving my mom’s car and parked to eat my hamburger in front of Ross and someone hit my car from the back. I was shocked. 

I heard God say “let her go”. It turned out the girl was also Christian.

After I went home and told my mom, I thought “omg, did I do the right thing?” and then somehow my mom mentioned how she used to feel ashamed about something and then she mentioned how my relatives have been stalking me on facebook and basically were talking behind my back.

I was infuriated. I continued to have a dream where my mom was shaming me for not having a shirt on and all these church people were staring at me and I felt ashamed.

When my relatives went to my old house I started to tell them “you need to stop talking behind my back”.

So then my friend and I had a conversation today, she said “we are all sinners”. I said we are not sinners, we are righteous in God’s eyes.

That made me think.

How do I explain grace? 

Explaining grace in normal language. Your transformation isn’t from self conditioning or self striving or self control, it’s knowing you are righteous in God’s eyes and already accepted and perfect in His eyes because Jesus took on the punishments of your sin on the cross! So you’re not living as a slave asking God what should I do- you’re free to choose. And when you live your life from knowing you are 100% sinless and righteous in God’s eyes you are set free from a lot of bondages!

That is why after you are saved you should be focused on the fact that you are righteous in Christ Jesus and that the work of “trying to be enough” is finished on the cross.

Why does major “sins” still occur in your life?

I noticed I usually “sin” more when I start conditioning myself, or striving to be “perfect” instead of just accepting that I am righteous in God’s eyes. 

It’s when I keep asking God “should I do this or that?” as if God will punish me or not bless me if I do the wrong or right thing.

It’s when I “try to” be patient, try to be good, try to forgive, try to in my own flesh, versus just believing in God’s grace to give me the power to forgive….

And that is what living in the spirit is supposed to be- where you are flowing with the desires of your heart, freely living out your life from the inside out instead of always questioning “God is this the right thing to do?”

I CAN’T IN MY OWN FLESH OVERCOME ANY BONDAGES (whether it’s drug addiction, porn addiction, lying, cheating, murder, anger, deceit, etc)!!! It’s ONLY WHEN I PROCLAIM, GOD THROUGH GRACE ALONE! And I’m going to REST in your grace and power!

I’m going to STOP trying in my own flesh to be “good” because any effort from my flesh is USELESS!

Self-condemnation DOES NOT FREE YOU! It actually entraps you! Because then you are saying that through self-will you can break free of bondages! You’re wrong. It’s only by the supernatural grace and power of Jesus’ finished work on the cross.

You can’t TRY to be set free, you can’t TRY to love yourself.

You need to know it’s the GRACE of GOD that causes you to love yourself. When you’re faced with the truth that YOU ARE 100% SINLESS and UNBLEMISHED, you no longer have to make up for your wrongs, that the spirit of God goes to work to give you the desire and the action to live out a royal life. 

You get to live in freedom.

Another “guilt trip” I was going through is that I didn’t want to be at home too long when my mother was there because I felt like she always yelled at me or “guilt tripped” me so I didn’t feel peace being there for a long time (if she was there).

But then when I would come home late she’d say “why were you out so late?” and I’d get mad because then I’d felt bad that I didn’t spend time with her and I felt guilty for being out late.

So sometimes when I was out I’d ask God “should I go home?” and He’d be like “do you want to?”

We have to start living from a place of desire, not obligation or instruction. We have to start trusting the heart God gave us and know that we are filled with the Holy Spirit. 

The spirit of condemnation says “you have to try to be good or perfect” but “grace says you are already perfect because of Jesus’ sacrifice”.

GRACE is knowing that it’s NOT me in my flesh “trying” to be perfect, I am already perfect in God’s eyes. So if I’m not being forgiving, if I’m cussing someone out, I know I am still perfect in God’s eyes. Grace tells you who you are in Christ Jesus, perfect in God’s eyes.

Works says “you’re not enough” so you need to be “MORE forgiving or more gracious or more kind”.

WORKS tells you WHAT TO DO versus WHO YOU ARE, a son or daughter of God that is righteous in God’s eyes. Works judges you according to a standard of propriety. It’s like those Instagram posts that says “you should be kind”, well that’s actually a form of works. 

Condemning someone does not make them change, that’s only conditioning.

Grace gives someone the power to change because the spirit of God lives on the inside of them and they know they are no longer condemned but 100% forgiven in Christ Jesus.

Thanks for reading yall! Consider sowing a seed so I can eat and write!

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It is so relieving to admit, yes maybe I blabber too much, maybe I post all my dirty laundry, maybe I shouldn’t tell everyone my past, but the great thing is the more I boast in my weakness because God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness.

Hurray. I might not be qualified, I might be too much, I might be unprofessional, I might talk about poop too much, I might not wear makeup, I might wear pj’s in all my videos, I might not be a certain race-

But guess what the more I boast in Christ crucified. Christ in me, not me in me trying to be good. 

Hurray. I have no seminary education, I am not well verse, my hair is dirty right now, but the more Christ in me magnified.

Not because I have perfect appearance or because I have a great history. God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.

HAHA I am wise only because Jesus speaks to me and I listen. I have no wisdom of my own. It is by grace alone.

When Life Disappoints- Look Up

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“Oh this restaurant is packed” said the handsome man with white socks and sandal.

I mean those sandals, but anyhow he was cute. I suddenly felt light.

Then he walked around the restaurant and walked to his Asian girlfriend. Why do I note the race, I think he was filipino but I mean, I was another Asian girl.

I felt, a little bit depleted. It’s been a few weeks since I met a semi- nice guy but turned out he had issues. I have issues too, sure. But issues I did not want in a husband, so I knew he wasn’t my husband. 

But still, I was disappointed. 

And guess what? I applied for a reality show for dating, I thought, okay let me give it a try. It’s for next summer. I tried applying for it last summer but I was too late.

But God I might meet my husband before next summer right? Anyhow, let’s just try.

The reply was “oh we are looking for 30 and under”.

I thought, “holy crap, I’m too late, I am one year too late”. My mind started spinning, and all of those acting parts are looking for 30 and under. And my chin for some reason is growing. I accidentally opened up an old youtube video of me. 

I’m thinking “gosh I was so confident, what false confidence, I was totally lying”.

But oh I was so skinny and attractive. No lie, these are my thoughts and I know that these are the enemy’s words. But still I hear them, and then I get insecure.

When these situations in life happen you start shutting down, it’s like LEVEL 1 SHUT DOWN, 2, and so forth and before you know it you’re walking around Ross putting stuff in your cart, then throwing them out and not buying anything because it’s not REALLY something material you need but something emotional you’re looking for, and nothing IS RIGHT. And you just walked around for 1 hour looking for that emotional support.

So I finally went home and journaled.

I wrote down-

“God I feel like you don’t care about me”. 

I think when disappointments happen in life, you want “circumstances” to work out the way you want them to work out…..

  1. If only I’d find my life partner
  2. If only I get on this tv show
  3. If only I go to this new place

But those are lies….

Because God is enough for me.

“You know I love you…

You know I care about you.

You know you are the apple of my eye.

Let me romance you. 

I’m here for you. You’re not alone”.

I wrote “I saw a cute guy today, he smiled at me and it turns out he had a GF. When will it be my turn God”.

If I sound desperate maybe it’s because I waited a long ass time for a life partner. I’m even waiting to have sex.

Sometimes we look at life the wrong way. We think that life is about achieving an ultimate goal or getting something, even finding a life partner…but it’s about how we see ourselves. It is knowing how much God loves us as we are, right now (not tomorrow). 

THIS IS HOW I FEEL GOD. I’m disappointed ☹️ . But I’m going to trust that YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. I’m GOING to trust that you have the BEST IN MIND for me.

I had a dream I was carrying a backpack full of art supplies and these young people came to draw and use the tools I gave them.

Here it is….

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE NOT LACKING”.

“I closed the door because I want you to MOVE FORWARD- DON’T LOOK BACK” 

You are not excited for that because my grace is no longer on it. 

If I’m honest I was reading way too many websites of entrepreneurs that seemed WAY ahead of me, I was watching youtubes of prophets who had thousands of followers while I have like 25, but God bless those 25. It’s The Bex Show if you want to google it, I don’t have the strength to find it right now.

Wherever YOU ARE, you are enough. 

Don’t compare where you are with other people, that’ll only lead to depression (seriously).

Breathe in and out.

Cry if you have to.

You may not be in the same season as someone, but here’s what I know…..You are exactly where you need to be. 

“Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for His miraculous power constantly energizes you.” (Eph. 3:20, TPT)

If HE HAS CLOSED A DOOR IT MEANS A BETTER ONE IS GOING TO OPEN! 

Prophetic Word: November 14, 2019-

“MY CHILD It’s NOT OVER YET! The enemy has been fighting hard so you would be discouraged, the enemy wants you to focus on your circumstance but LOOK AT ME, focus your eyes on me. Don’t let your head spin, I am here protecting you, I have plans to flourish you, I have not forgotten you. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hey don’t look back anymore. Don’t even doubt that relationship. Go forward into my arms. Yes I know it’s hard to let go but I am enough for you. It’s time to move out. Do you know that I am enough for you? Will you trust me? My love is overpowering, overwhelming and more than enough.” 

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May this song bring comfort to your heart.

You Are Enough & Not Lacking.

When I started to desire family I’d look at families and felt like I was lacking but the Lord showed me it was a lie.

I’d experience a spirit of lack and feel like wow I must be lacking because I’m single.

I’d feel like I’m lacking because I don’t have my dad with me. I’d feel like I’m lacking because my mother didn’t affirm me.

Here’s the revelation God gave me-

You don’t need a friend. You don’t need a community. You don’t need a car. You don’t need a house. You don’t need a husband or a boyfriend, a wife or girlfriend. You don’t need your parents. You don’t need anything outside of yourself because in God’s eyes you are whole because of Jesus’ sacrifice. You don’t need anyone to forgive you because Jesus already forgave you. You don’t need assurance, you don’t need affirmation, you don’t need more stuff, you are already enough.

You don’t need anything outside of yourself because when you come to know you are enough everything becomes a blessing, not a need.

Do you know your are enough? That you don’t need to do anything or go anywhere or achieve anything to be whole?

I am whole and if I am whole I won’t fear lack.

And if it’s just Jesus, it’s enough.

And if no one is by your side, you’re still enough.

And if they are, you’re enough.

They don’t add to you, because you are one whole being. They don’t take away from you. You cannot be any less or more.

Don’t feel bad for people who have less or who seem like they didn’t have much growing up.

In God’s eyes they are enough.

I don’t care how much money you have if you don’t know you are enough, it’s never enough.

I don’t care how many people love you if you think you need them to love you, you don’t really know who you are.

That’s called codependency.

I don’t need anyone outside of myself but if I seek for help it’s because I know I am valuable and worthy of love and that I’m whole on the inside.

So now I have people that love me, I felt lacking when I wasn’t with them or in touch with them and God showed me I actually don’t need them.

Sure they are additions and blessings to my life but I am not lacking when I’m not with them.

I spent some time grieving the past but I realize no I didn’t lose people, I was always whole.

I wasn’t lacking when I had little friends to support me.

I was enough then too.

And I won’t be sad to lose a friend because I know that there’s a time and season for everything.

In that way I can live in freedom, not in a mindset of fear and lack. I know even if I lose a friend I am enough.

I am whole all by myself.

GIVE TO THIS MINISTRY

(Sessions via Skype or Facetime, worksheets and prophetic actionable steps to achieve solutions for your problems).

Hello! My name is Rebekka Lien. I am a Life Coach, Heart Healer, and Speaker who believes in SETTING people free from fear and limiting beliefs that get people stuck in negative cycles.fresha.com/rebekka-lien-rw8gamj0

I have worked with thousands of people around the world in 20 countries so my methods are sure fire ways to deliver people out of a lifetime of imprisonment. I am also a follower of Jesus so my words are Spirit-inspired and cuts to the core of the problems, with NO BS. It is called Prophecy, meaning I don’t even have to talk to you to know what is going on. God has the solution for you and He wants to set you free from the issues that keep hindering you from live your best life.

I was born in Hamburg, Germany, lived in Taipei, Taiwan and now in Los Angeles. I have traveled to 30 countries and hope to visit the whole world. My parents divorced when I was 8 and I have gone through a life time of healing and breaking off the spirit of lack and orphan in my life to come into the identity of being a child of God. You need to RULE in the authority God gave you.

You are a queen/king and you DESERVE To REIGN on this earth! 

Please feel free to write me at Rebekkalien@gmail.com to book Rebekka to speak.

 

Prophetic Word- Come Out Of Hiding

I want to hide under a rock but I look over at the turtles, they are standing bold on a rock, exposed. They are not hiding. This time they are not.

I just had a moment of tears.

It’s coming face to face to a grown man who has tears in his eyes.

“I don’t want to feel like a useless person, sitting there getting fat while his kids think he is useless”.

“Do you feel ashamed to go home?”

“Yes”.

“But you know what your kids need is your presence, not necessarily your money”.

It’s speaking right into someone’s heart that you know exactly how that person feels. You are not a robot, you are human too. You know how it feels to feel ashamed, to feel useless, to be accused of. I have been there.

Then earlier in the morning, I met a man on the bus. While talking to my friend on the phone I noticed his book said “enemy”. I knew he was a Christian so I asked him if he was Christian, he said yes. That morning I was at the Laundry Mat with my mom and I heard “go to Pasadena”. I was roaming around but saw a bus going there and heard God say “run”.

This man was from Ethiopia. I prophesied to him that he is enough in Christ Jesus, He is not lacking. He told me how he felt like he lost everything. I said that “God is waiting for you to step out in faith and do one thing at a time He leads you to”. People always think that they are waiting for God but often times God is waiting for you. 

I told him that God has called you travel to the nations. I told him to take off his sunglasses and his hat and stop hiding. He spoke encouraging words to me too. I feel honored and loved by these fathers, their presence. I never got that from my father.

It’s easier to hide, because you’re not seen and you can’t be criticized or rejected but when you come out of hiding you are seen and that means people respect and honor you but they can also hurt you. Right?

And that’s my heart, my pain. God I don’t want people to hurt me anymore as I’ve been too wounded in the last year.

God’s like “open your heart, I’ll protect you”.

Are you sure God?

Yes.

Trust me.

So go and don’t be afraid to share your heart with people. I will bless you and surround you with my angels. Don’t be afraid to go. I’m with you. I’m covering you.

Would you consider partnering with me financially to bring the gospel of grace to those who feel condemned? I’ll be going to Korea tomorrow. I’m a little bit scared but please pray for me. 

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Prophetic Word- Giving Up Your Isaac, Trusting God And Not The Outcome

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Yesterday was a whirlwind for me. The night before I woke up and felt God say that I needed to cancel my flight, and that I should drive to New York with my friend. I saw us visiting different people throughout the states. I texted her that and then deleted it in the morning as I was having doubts. She told me God also told her the same.

She had tried to convince her dad but he was not budging. He was withholding the keys from her and maybe even mentioned that I may be a false prophet. I’m not bothered by it because I know it’s not true.

I was tired all day trying to figure things out. The truth is God had showed me signs of New York everywhere, through t-shirts, signs. He told me to book a flight to New York, then He told me to book a flight to Korea, then another. Whenever the finances came in for it, I obeyed and booked the one way flights (the flights almost add up to $1000). But I was also asking God “but what if you change plans on me?”

This has happened before. One time I had a flight booked to Paris and I woke up from a dream where He told me to go to China. Turns out I ended up meeting a girl in Beijing who had the same story. She was redirected to go to China when she was going somewhere else, she had to change several flights to do it.

But most flights I book are non-refundable. So of course I had doubts.

Yesterday I felt a well of energy and thought “why do I have to wait for other people, just go!”

So I went. At first I thought I would sleep at the korean spa but when the uberpool driver stopped to pick someone up at Union Station, I suddenly felt God say to go to the airport. So I asked to get off and paid for a flyaway ticket to LAX. I started having anxiety in the bus. When my friend texted me “even if you make the wrong decisions, God is still in it”. Somehow I felt set free of trying to make the “right decisions”.

Well, I even paid for a carry on (something I didn’t want to do before but somehow 2 of my friends sowed $31 and $23 that very day to cover the bag which was $49). I check in. I’m at the airport, it’s 10pm-11pm…I find a nook to sleep on the floor and suddenly I’m very tired.

“Why am I sleeping on the floor at an airport?” As I thought about the 15 hour trip that I’d have to take, well, 3 layovers…one in Denver, one in Vegas, one in Chicago. I was laying there and suddenly heard God say “go home”. I heard it a few times on the bus too but thought well, now I’m confused.

I call my friend in Europe. She tells me “it’s very normal to have confusion when you’re working with other people since you are experiencing their junk and vice versa”.

I’m like omg you’re right. So we pray and somehow I hear again “go home”.

But I don’t want to, my body is tired, I feel dead inside. God why? Why have me book flights and then tell me to cancel them. What a waste.

But I remember what He said to me “whatever done in faith is never a waste, and will be rewarded”. 

It’s not about the final result, or the success rate of things happening, it’s trusting God no matter how crazy it looks. 

So it’s 1 am and I walk out of the airport, having checked in, and I’m probably still checked in to the 3 flights I was going to go on. 

I take an uber home from the airport. In my mind I just wasted $100 going back and forth from the airport and paying for the bag. I know, I can’t get over why God would have me do that.

It doesn’t make sense right?

But God’s ways are not man’s ways. 

I had a few people tell me that they encountered redirection from God yesterday and it really confused them. They really started to question if they were even hearing God right.

Well here’s what I’m hearing-

“baby boy, baby girl,

Don’t look back. My ways are not your ways. My thoughts are not your thoughts. Don’t be afraid of failure. Don’t be afraid of closed doors. I want you TO TRY with all your might. I don’t want you to live life afraid. And sometimes I may ask you to wait and be patient. Sometimes I may ask you to step out in faith and maybe you won’t see a successful “ending” to the thing I’ve asked you to step out in faith on, but that’s all a part of trusting me and trusting that I am enough for you.

It’s not about getting there, it’s about walking with me through it all.

Do you trust me? Let go and surrender. It’s not on your shoulders to make the right decisions. I want you to be a child and never be afraid to fail, never be afraid to try. I’m a good father, I won’t fail you. See some of you try to put your hope in a person or a trip, or ministry, or a career, or a job….but put your trust in me. 

It’s not about the success rate my friend, it’s about knowing you are enough no matter what happens. Even if you will no longer be the “supposed love of your life”. Even if you lose money from flights canceled. Even if God has you quit a job you thought you liked“.

I had a dream that I was sitting at a table and I moved farther to see the board clearer (but I stepped in between two people talking). And someone from Kim Kardashian’s family said “why did you interrupt the man to sit here”. Say “sorry”. So I said “sorry” but continued sitting there.

Sometimes you have to move away from the “goal” to see clearer. God is giving you 20/20 vision right now. The funny thing is when I was on the bus, I remembered I left my contact lens at home. This has happened a few times recently. I left my contact lens at my friend’s house.

The truth is……God has me in a season where I am training up leaders, pioneers. But their problems sometimes overwhelm me. I feel like a free bird but sometimes when I train others up, I feel the weight of their burdens or the weight of their chains. I want to set them free immediately but I know it’s a process too on their end. And so perhaps the truth is – I wanted to run, run ahead, run away and not have to feel responsible for them. It’s easier to be alone I think. Sometimes I don’t feel capable. I want to live a normal life where I don’t have to help anyone. 

“Why do you think I set you free?” God says to me.

“It’s to set others free”.

Okay well maybe sometimes I don’t feel up to the task and maybe I don’t want to set boundaries, and maybe I don’t know how. That’s why I say “I want to be alone” because when you’re alone you don’t have to tell anyone anything. You don’t have to speak your mind, you can sit comfortably and mind your own business. 

But when you have other people involved, you have to learn to set boundaries, you have to learn to speak up, you have to be honest, you have to say sorry sometimes, you have to be considerate of others.

When you’re alone, it’s too easy. You have no one else to consider and it’s awesome. But you also don’t have anyone to love or to be supported by. And I feel maybe I’m scared I’ll be bogged down by their problems, and not know how to say no or to say “hey I need time for myself” because that has been the case in the past growing up with a single mom. 

I was sitting there at the airport and suddenly the intercom said “if you need help ask Matt Damon, cuz he has no friends”.

It pierced me. Okay God. What the heck.

Many of us have been longing for friends but when we get them we are overwhelmed that we don’t know how to be ourselves and speak our truth in that relationship. So we hide, we run. The same cycle of broken relationships.  

God wants us healed.

I was telling my friend that when God told me to go to Taiwan God told me to book a flight ticket on my credit card in faith, He said someone would pay for it. 

I sat my mom down and told her I was going as I already booked a ticket, I didn’t know how long I was going to be gone for. That’s it. It wasn’t even an option that I stayed. If God told me to go, I was going even if it meant I had to just trust Him for the finances (since I didn’t have anything saved up lest $20).

She ended up paying for my flight and even though she didn’t talk to me for 2 days, a wall was broken.

I’ve done many things like that. Going to South Africa with $20 in my pocket and that’s where God had me start my ministry, on facebook.

One time I had a layover in LA, and I had another flight continuing. I probably had a few bucks in my wallet, but I would’ve still gone if my mom said no. I knew God would provide either way.

This is a season where God is redirecting us into community. SO it may be scary and daunting.

This is a season of big faith….and this faith may be letting go of a plan or vision God gave you, you know giving up your Isaac. 

Do you trust God for the best?

He has your best interest in mind.

What is your Isaac? What do you need to let go? Is it control? Is it the outcome?

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