“You don’t have to do anything”.

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Recently I have been on a journey of becoming more free.

“You don’t have to do anything”.

I have been hearing this from God. I had an epiphany. If what I do isn’t purely from desire, then what is it? Guilt? Obligation? Tradition?

And I know people will probably oppose and say there needs to be compromise in love. I don’t know anything about marriage, I’m just talking about my relationship with God. 

It really intrigues me that people often think that if you don’t go to church, you have a disconnected relationship with God. I have learned better than to argue. Even though it still bothers me, I will state my case and move on. It’s weird how I have met tons of people that religiously attend church but never have one conversation with God. But they think they are somehow better off than those heathens who have taken a hiatus from a building that is deemed clean and holy. 

“You don’t have to do anything”. 

Love is only possible if there is freedom to choose. 

“You don’t have to do anything because you are already loved and accepted by me, as you are now. You are perfect in my eyes”. 

And then it struck me, I am free. I am free. I am free. I am free to do and be who I am. 

A lot of people who grow up in authoritarian cultures, religions and institutions are taught to ask for advice, to seek counsel, to never TRUST yourself.

Wayne Dyer said ” I’ve often said, ‘When you trust in yourself, you are trusting in the wisdom that created you.’

If we are propelled forward by total acceptance and love, then we no longer live in fear. We are no longer afraid of making mistakes. We will no longer fear that we will be rejected by peers or co-workers, or friends. We will try without fearing failure. 

I suppose it could relate to relationships and friendships too.

Would you want a friend to tell you “oh I didn’t really feel like calling you, but I did. I have so much to do and I’m so busy so I’m really taking time out to listen to you”.

It’s like “no thanks”. I would rather someone do things out of desire. 

Love as desire, Love is desire.

Sometimes you might feel hesitant to hang out with certain people, perhaps because they have changed or you have…it might be because you no longer enjoy their company and its okay to say no lovingly. I’ve realized that your friends are basically mirrors of who you are in any current season in life. So whoever you hang out more with in that season has a reflection of what your needs and wants are….and those priorities may change. Those friends may also reflect the wounds you are currently healing. In a way they might be healing from the same things. 

That’s why in some seasons you are closer to some than others. Every person has a purpose in your life, in this healing journey called life and love. 

Sometimes I have events that come up and I have to ask myself “do I really feel like attending and being AROUND people right now?” 

I’ll hear myself and my heart say “no”. And that’s basically how I have learned to listen to my heart. And sometimes it’ll say yes. And sometimes I don’t know how I feel and maybe I’ll try it because I’m a free woman…and then maybe I’ll want to go home and watch netflix and that’s cool too. 

But this is part of learning to live the life you want, the life you love. 

It’s living in love, desire and not obligation…because the more you follow our bliss, the more alive you will feel, the better you will feel.

When you feel good, you are in love with yourself. And that’s a good thing. When you are in love, lovely things are attracted to you and loving things come to you. 

Instead of obligation- desire, excitement, bliss.

Instead of fear- love, freedom, light.

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Unrejectable

I had a dream I was teaching a class and people were rolling their eyes or laughing at what I had to say even though it was my life story: God has made me unrejectable. I woke up crying. My heart was twingy.

Jesus claimed me before I was born. I was not planned, my dad was having an affair and my mom was in the angriest state of her life. I was in the womb.

I am reminded God chooses the unlikely.

He chooses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise. 

So that it is not by human might or power but by spirit.

A warrior must overcome great challenges to become stable in her heart. Unmovable. Firm. Steady. Unrelenting.

Besides being an accident, I was moved from home to home, country to country. Later rejected by peers, by family. For some reason I never gave up. I wanted to live for my dream. I wanted something more out of life, I didn’t want to settle.

Institutions rejected me.

Or did not have the capacity to accept the wondrous, the extrordinary.

I chose to forgive because I have been forgiven.

Religion vomitted me out, church folks vomitted out.

I did not stay silent, I continued to speak up. I spoke up to supervisors at work, I spoke up to producers, I spoke up to professors, I spoke up to leaders.

I stood out, I got laughed at because of my unmatching stockings.

Then in the moments of rejection, I would feel His embrace “you are perfect, I made you perfectly”. 

I became fearless, I became wild and free, carefree.

Because I knew whose I was. 

So if you feel rejected, remember that it just means some people have no capacity for different things, for extraordinary. God created you perfectly.

It is all training so that when hundreds and thousands are against you, you will be able to stand for what you believe (with your heart unfettered by anger, bitterness and hate).

Here and Now, The Life of Non-Resistance

-You have everything you need to be the person you need to be now-

If love is not fear, has no part in it, and vice versa, then it makes sense that when we try to control the outcome, the process of life, loved ones or even what we desire, we will not attain it or have true peace (even if we attain it to our liking).

Why? Because control comes from a fear that if you did not have it or attained it, whether it is a person, thing or goal, you wouldn’t be whole.

So then, what is true happiness?

Contentment, becoming, being. 

In knowing your position as a daughter or the son of God, we are whole in all. Royalty.

So that our acquiring, achieving, creativity only comes from a pure place of knowing who we are as royalty, and not from a place of needing the world’s approval. 

That is why people are often disappointed because they are waiting for proof of their royalty when in actuality a queen or king has no need of proof, they are, within, knowing who they are.

I wrote this in my notebook a few nights ago.

The more I release the ego- the desire to fight the flow of life, the more I am reaching deep spiritual breakthroughs, and often in my dreams. Yesterday I dreamed that I was driving a large truck and it was broken so that each time you tried to brake, it would halt only a little. The end of the truck kept hitting things.

Finally, I folded the truck (in the dream it was foldable) into the size of a piece of paper and laid it on the chair along with the keys. I gave it to the strangers around me.

The driving experience was the same as the one I had when I was in Bali. I got into a moped accident when in my excitement to discover the island like the author of Eat, Pray, Love, forgotten that Bali was a crazy island with lots of cars and mopeds.

A few times in my inexperienced state and fear, I pulled on the gas instead of the brake, one time going right in front of oncoming car, missing it by a bit. I ended up in an accident with the moped crushing my feet. I sat in my hotel room for 5 days, then another week recovering at another hostel. There was a clinic right across, it felt like a huge loss both to my wallet and to my ego. I was not able to experience Bali the way I wanted to and my feet was bloody with deep wounds.

My feet and legs are still sore 9 months after. That was December 2015.

I remember my friend said “God is guiding you, teaching you which steps to hop into like hopscotch”. 

The truth is sometimes I get ahead of God. I supposedly didn’t really crawl when I was baby, I just kept attempting to walk and I fell often. Later on as a kid, I fell a lot because I guess my legs weren’t properly prepped. I’m learning to rest.

I have always been different, in school, in the world. 

Instead of accepting the gift of being a breed of my own, I often tried to “catch up”. A lot of people my age are married, have kids, have a normal career, but I don’t have the status quo life. I often live in solitude and prefer writing. I don’t go out to party as much as I used to. I don’t have a lot of close friends, but I love the ones I do have.

In fact, I have learned to love my need for solitude and my time to be with God completely. It is strange I know, because I don’t really care to be popular or to hang out with people I don’t have any interest in. I’m not on any dating sites now, and I prefer not to date. I know in due time when the universe is ready, I will be aligned for my life partner.

So now I’m learning what it means to live a non-resistant life.

That means I don’t do things that cause havoc to my spirit, I listen to my spirit…if something seems too complicated and trying (such as planning things like meeting with a friend), I refuse it. So naturally I respond better to things that are spontaneous as I do not have to plan.

I don’t do things to further my career or status in life, because I believe I am always at the right place at the right time and I am in “further”, I am now, here, so there’s no means to an end, I am the end. God is the end and I am one with God. There is less striving, more being. 

The Lord is my Shepherd. I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me besides quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley. I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever- Psalm 23

Accept that you are enough, here and now for the journey you are on.

Daily Surrender

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The beauty of life actually lies in the act of daily surrender.

As crazy as people say I am, the more I live a life of surrender, the more I realize how limited my thinking is. I cannot begin to comprehend how God works and that is just the beauty of it. I’m dumb as fuck compared to God. 

Life becomes enjoyable when we admit that our wisdom is beyond limited and God’s unimaginably creative and mind blowing.

By letting go of control, we get to partner with God in creating art out of our lives, to feel deeply each emotion, to play, to have fun, to create a rich life of love.

I am lost for words, sometimes unable to even express the plethora of emotions that is in my heart. I will go days feeling the tensions and not knowing how to face my truth.

It is in admitting “I don’t know why that happened, why nothing happened according to my preconceived notion of what should have happened, and why I even had that notion in the first place’ and maybe that I’m disappointed, scared that life is unpredictable, uncontrollable….

That my heart can finally release it’s grip.

It is okay that I don’t know.

It is okay that I may have been disappointed, but I want to continue learning how to surrender to God’s infinite ways of life.

Nowadays, grace is not so popular. Not knowing is so unpopular, there is an answer for everything. But I don’t always know what is going on and I’m okay with it. God’s got it, God has it figured out, He knew me before I was born.

I might not know where I’m going geographically even in the next month, and it upsets people. They want to make plans with me, but I can’t. My loyalty isn’t to them. My loyalty is to God. Make plans with me in the next week, but after that, I don’t know where I’m going. If I feel RIGHT about something, I will commit to doing it, but if I don’t feel RIGHT in my heart about it, I won’t. I have an inner compass. Being loyal to your vision makes you uncontrollable, free. 

So don’t feel bad that life didn’t go the way you predicted, perhaps your get married by 30 plan, career plan, etc. Life is better in a daily act of surrender. Surrender never felt so sweet.

(pic above is in SF, my mom and I went on a last minute trip).

Be willing to change

Be willing to change.

As I walk through this season of being with my mom, I am challenged with my ego, pride and hubris and am releasing the defensive mechanism I had for most of my life.

This defensive mechanism came from my need to protect my ego. To protect my core.

Her criticisms often made me feel unloved and not enough, never good enough.

As I grew in my spirituality I started to release old mentalities and thought patterns. I released things, attachment to the material world, the need to control…but as I spend time with her, I am reminded again of the not good enough monster. In addition, in my opened eyes of seeing her inability to release things like a table from 25-30 years ago, I am noticing why she is stuck.

But I also am challenged to love in a greater way, to love from a place of- I accept and love you as you are, not when you release these old wounds, but just as you are. I accept you even in your inability to love yourself or to see that not releasing past wounds hurts you.

Today after I washed my hair, my mom kept doting “dry your hair, dry your hair”. It really didn’t matter to me, I usually air dry it. But I replied after 30 minutes “okay I’m drying my hair because I love you”.

Perhaps that was my first training for my future marriage…something might not matter to me, but if it matters to someone you love, you may just do it out of love.

And instead of incurring more annoyance, I did it out of love for her, even though I could care less if my hair is dried.

So I suppose I am maturing. I used to blame her for many things, but now I’m learning that I must overcome the annoyances within me until her words becomes only a reflection of her own spirit, not mine. And in effect, I can love her just as she is, and allow that love to change her.

Wisdom From a 27 Year Old Philosopher

   

  
Writing from the Airport Resort and Spa Phuket (Thailand)

 I’ve studied life and purpose for as long as I can remember. As I travel, I have solidified a few wise sayings…here I go! 

1. Just because it’s free doesn’t mean it’s worth it- not all free things are worth taking. Sometimes it comes with a cost. 

2. If it belongs to you it will come to you, if it doesn’t, it will eventually leave (even if you try to control or manipulate it). Same goes with people. If you attained something with force or manipulation, it will leave with deceit since it has to. 

3. You attract what you think you’re worth- hard work is out the door, i have worked with clients that had lots of debt but know how to create wealth and live a high standard of living- eventually the debt will disappear because worth outweighs debt. They are simply using debt to create wealth. 

4. I was eating noodles outside 7 -11 and saw a banana pancake moving stall, I wanted to chase after it but thought “no I’m eating noodles now, I will be present with it. If I’m meant to have a pancake, it will stop”. The stall didn’t stop so I figured a better one will come along or I’ll have one tomorrow. 

What’s yours don’t need chasing, it will come in the perfect time. You must be present for what’s in front of you.

5. Now I noticed I often rushed to get to somewhere fun or what I call relaxing and realize I should relax NOW. 

You must relax the whole journey- not when you get there, but every moment. 

I once ate with a lady who was constantly on her phone while we talked. Now I was helping her and giving her wisdom about her relationship, she had an emotional affair with a guy and her husband left her because of it. 

I thought to myself, here I am, a wise woman spending precious time to help her and she is downloading games on her phone. 

When we were done eating she said she had a hard time being present, in fact her mind was already planning her next event and which way she was going to walk to her car.

How sad. 

She would never see me again, because I knew she wouldn’t appreciate the presence that is me and I wouldn’t waste my time with someone who can’t see my worth. 

People who are not able to appreciate the present will not see a goldmine or a prince if they yelled at them. They will not see an opportunity even if it was flying in their face. 

People who are not content with themselves or see their own worth will not be able to see other peoples’ worth. 

6. Luxury, design does make a difference. Yah I live out of a bag but I’ve been voted best dressed traveller. A big bed, bathtub, cleanliness, light shielding curtains, ac, quiet, coffeemakers, amenities make a huge difference.

Comfort= Sanity 

Is it worth paying more for sanity sometimes? Yes. If it means you will feel better inside out so that you can be a magnificent being. 

Cheers! 

You can get my ebook here http://www.rebekkalien.com/lovemoneywork 

You’ve Been Living A Lie

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Well, not all of you. Hopefully not the majority. But I sense that you are reading this because you want a life of authenticity. You’ve been living a lie, the lie that because you are NOT ENOUGH, you have to keep striving, to be someone, to be great, to be successful. It’s all a lie. Indeed, we are not perfect, thus we are not enough on our own. We are not enough, but we are enough in the eyes of the infinite source that sustains us and keeps the universe running, the one who keeps the stars up, the sun shinning everyday, the moon appearing at night. If us humans can build such beauties as the eiffel tower, who built the ocean, who built the mountains?

Yes, rush around, rush around. The message of the day is – you are not enough, so you must try harder, work harder, put in more hours. Isn’t it? We need to attend to this urgent matter because we will lose lots of money and after 30 years of trying harder, we fall into our death bed, or we rush around with panic attacks, soon getting into a car accident which then cost us everything we’ve worked so hard to earn.

I hope this will wake people up. It all seems very positive, “all success takes hard work”- that’s a lie. How about someone who wants to be a CEO of a company and he works very hard scrubbing toilets, yet never putting into action what he really wants to do and wasting crucial years of his life. How about “BE harder”. I know that sounds strange.

Be- stop everything and be and breathe. The birds of the air do not store up what they’ll eat next, they trust and take it one day at a time. Be, because who you are attracts everything that you are- including quality people, resources, wisdom, wealth.

Some of us have been told growing up that we are not enough. Some of us, like myself, were also told that “you should be thankful, I could have left you or given you up for adoption”. I felt like a burden. I’m sure you’ve felt that way, that you were a burden so you needed to work hard to prove you were someone of worth, or that you could be independent and not be a burden on someone. I started working when I was 14. Actually I started when I was in 3rd grade.

I’ve always been entrepreneurial, but I wonder when that entrepreneurial free spirit then became a burden when I felt that I had to use it to prove my worth. My gifting became a curse because of the fearful motivation beneath it all.

I felt that I was not enough alone, as a human being, imperfect yet brilliant, a design, a marvelous light of energy. 

I trust that this post will open the hearts of many to sit down and think.

You see, everyone identifies with something, a label. Whether it is a son, daughter, mother, father, designer, architect, writer, etc..none of that matters. We are often given a role and have expectations put on us. Some of these expectations are preconceived, from many years of society telling us what it should look like, some of these are purely manmade, reflections of what another person lacks and needs.

In the eyes of infinite source, we are magnificent, and we should create our life work, our life expression out of authenticity, out of being, out of wanting, out of desire, out of passion, not out of pressure. You see, the sun will still rise, the sun will still set everyday. What are we rushing around for? When we are rushing around, we are not living in the moment and before we know it, we’ve spent 80 years of our lives, rushing to our deaths and not remembering one minute of it. 

Get away from all the voices and be still.

What do you hear?

Feel free to comment below, I’d love to hear from you!

Share this for 25% off How To Make Money Doing What You Love – My newest Ebook! 

And to end with a song I think resonates with what I wrote: