You’re A Gift, Not A Burden

Nearing my birthday is always an emotional time.

My face is a resemblance of my dad’s face and well, my dad was cheating on my mom while I was in her womb. So when I came out my dad accused my mom and told her I was not his.

I don’t know why my mom had to tell me that, to spite me? To make me feel sorry for her?

Meanwhile when I went to get inner healing prayer, I saw myself angry in her stomach. I wanted to get out, just like I want to get out of her house already. But God hasn’t given me the okay to.

I felt like a burden growing up, I saw her stressed out as a single mom, so I started working when I was 8.

I never asked for allowance. I was self-sufficient. Yet, I felt like a burden and an orphan. I see this so much in kids these days. They feel like a burden and they are afraid to ask for help as a grown adult.

Because the truth is there are some really messed up parents that refuse to help their kids, maybe they are scared to spoil them or enable them, but there is definitely a huge spirit of lack and a lack of grace in our world these days. Sure, some kids really need a kick in the butt, but what I see is a lot of “orphan minded people”.

These people are afraid to “bother people”, think their problems will cause others to be stressed out so they don’t tell anyone their problems, they are afraid to be vulnerable, they are afraid to ask for help. 

God had to move me back home to cast out the stronghold of unworthiness, feeling like a burden out of me. He put my in ministry and told me to fundraise, because that asking and not being afraid to be rejected is part of casting out the stronghold of “feeling like a burden, the orphan spirit”.

Sure, there are strongholds. We can avoid them or we can face them. There is a stronghold of lack in my mom too, a feeling of unworthiness because of my father’s betrayal.

At the time she was pregnant, my dad’s parents kept trying to make her bow down to Buddhist idols knowing she was Christian. How much warfare was happening because of my birth, to stop me from being birthed? 

If you had a lot of trouble around the time of your birth, know that the enemy was trying hard to stop you from being birthed. You HAVE A GREAT PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

So as my birthday is nearing again, I feel the warfare, but the truth is- I am a gift, not a burden. Yesterday I had a dream that someone brought a jumpy house and asked if I wanted it outside my house or next to a pool. It was my birthday party.

Give a gift to this ministry or for my birthday, thank you! God bless you.

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Destroying The Pressure To Perform

Things you should know about me: 

  1.  I love to go to the Abbey, it is a gay club, and I have many friends there. I’ve had a lot of Christians ask me why I would go to a gay club. The reasons are: I love the people there, I love the people there, I love dancing, I love dancing, and I love dancing with the people I love. I love music. I love fashion. 
  2. I have smoked weed before but I do not smoke it anymore. I had a bad experience eating a weed cake in Amsterdam.
  3. I have a heart for the LGBT community because I understand the pain of being rejected.
  4. I have stopped pretending and stopped being “polite” because I say what’s on my mind most of the time now. I’m not going to pretend to be nice or kind when I’m mad now. I will be mad. I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not anymore. SO ADIOS TO THE OLD ME! 
  5. My birthday is February 11 – financial gifts and donations are welcome! (I need a new phone)

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

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Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ! https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my…

 

Even If You Are Heart Broken, You Are Whole.

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How about ‘Open Your Heart- Come Out of Hiding’ as a 2020 resolution

Tell someone how you actually feel
Tell them they hurt you
Tell them you love or like them (even if they don’t reciprocate or don’t feel the same way)
Tell them what your heart was too scared to tell them

God will bring people to trigger you. You may want to be in the comfort of a womb, to be in control, protected…but often times we are protecting our hearts from love because we have been wounded.
It may feel annoying, you may not feel like talking to anyone, you may be wondering why a stranger is talking to you, you may start to feel anxious because you are holding the anger in, you may want to stay asleep and someone wakes you up with noise, you may wonder why someone is attacking you verbally, you may want to crawl in a hole….

But this is all good for you…

I don’t want you to be alone,
I wan’t you to be loved.

Leave me alone you may say,
But I will never leave you alone.

I feel utterly out of control but learning to let go of control and let love in. To respond authentically, not how I should, but how I really feel.

Love is scary.

You may tell someone how you feel and they may reject or judge you, they may lash out because they’re hurt. 

In the last few months I have been telling people how I feel. Sometimes people yell, sometimes they’re hurt, sometimes they respond well.

I never know what to expect. I’ve been severely hurt and wounded. But I’m learning to speak my truth.

I’ve told people that I loved them, that I liked them, and it was not reciprocated.

People have told me they want to have a relationship with me, and I’ve told them I don’t see a future.

I told my mother that it hurt that she told me to stop crying instead of comforting me when I broke up with my boyfriend at the age of 15.

I thought it was wrong to be sad. But I’ve learned sadness is part of life, we need to embrace each emotion, not skip it or say next.

Love is not love if you are only accepted at your best emotion, Love is love when you’re allowed to be yourself at each moment- emotional, sad, angry, bitter.

God accepts us whatever state we are in.

Even then we are enough.

You are whole. You are not lacking. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. You are righteous. Even if you are heart broken, you are not lacking, you didn’t lose a piece of your heart to someone, you are intact.

Remember that vision church teachers gave you? When you’re in love a part of you sticks onto that person, well the truth is grace means you are whole however broken your heart feels. You didn’t lose yourself, though it may feel like it. 

You are still whole,

you are still enough

because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

You didn’t waste time, you didn’t lose yourself, you are still whole. You didn’t do anything wrong. You are on the right path, don’t live in regret, forgive yourself.

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Here’s a fun shirt I saw at the mall, it made me laugh.

I love you all.

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien
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Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

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Monthly Partnership- https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/ Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my

 

The Tidal Wave of The Spirit

Hey guys, for some reason the previous message got erased when I put this facebook link in so I guess God just wants that video in here.

From a divine appointment-

He kept saying “but you know that’s reality”

I said “faith is believing what God said and resting in it”. Rest in what God said.

So you can keep striving to work things out in your flesh, or you can trust that God already finished it for you and LIVE according to what He said.

Prophetic Word-

Don’t be so distracted by your reality that you think the pain is all there is.

Maybe God is healing past traumas and you’re overwhelmed by the pain, but YOU’RE NOT GOING TO STAY THERE! DECREE that the mountain be removed, the discouragement be REMOVED. GOD HAS A GREAT FUTURE FOR YOU. DWELL IN HIS LOVE.

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

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Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Harvest is coming, sow a financial seed today!

 

Love Is Not Kept, It Is Experienced

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I heard God say “Love is not kept, it is experienced”.

Sometimes when we lose someone that we loved in our life, we feel like something is missing. You were never lacking, you just experienced love through this person.  You loved and you were loved. That’s divine.

Today I was going to uber somewhere and it malfunctioned. It was already noon and I hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch. I decided to take the bus.

When I walked to the back of the bus I was surprised to see a guy I previously met on the bus and ministered to. We talked and I started to feel anxiety because he kept talking about how everything is lacking. I tried to encourage him and I heard God say “don’t try to change him, just get to know him”. Well, how do I do that God when he is speaking from so much lack. I tried to tell him how I backpacked 30 countries and how there is so much in the world, dreams, visions, I wanted him to see the possibilities and not to just live for his grandparents. He would even say “well I don’t go out because then I have to spend money”.

I tried to tell him how I felt, he was like a brother to me. I realize I have the habit of trying to fix someone and I know it’s not my job to, God wants me to understand relationship, it’s about just being with someone. Love is about understanding and accepting where people are at in that moment. You need to love yourself in that way too, wherever you are, whatever state you are in, accept where you are.

The next bus I transferred to had a mentally unstable man. He had a spiderman web tattoo on his hand and AWOL tattooed to the top of his eyes, under his eyebrow. He was talking to himself.

I heard the Lord say “pray for him”, but I kind of didn’t want to. There were other people on the bus across us. Finally I made some comment. I looked him in the eye and asked what his name was. He became normal all of a sudden, I guess that is what human contact does.

He said he does meth sometimes when he is depressed, it helps him clean out.

I asked if he knew Jesus and he said not really. I prayed to cast out the spirit of suicide. He bowed his hands and put his hands together like a prayer emoji. People were watching us.

I finished praying and then he said “can we make out?”

I said “no”.

He said “I can see Jesus looking at us, smiling, saying ‘I am so proud of you two'”.

Then he started to get off the bus, he said “I love you Rebekka”.

I said “I love you two”.

He’s like “this area is just full of crime and stuff”.

Then he was off.

I felt warm in my heart. God, I know I complained when you told me to pray for him, but I get it now. It’s love. Love is to be experienced.

Sometimes we don’t want to put ourselves out there, because it’s scary, but love is to be experienced.

When you’re hurt by someone, it doesn’t mean they took anything from you. You were never lacking. When you’re hurt, when you lose someone, that’s all that is. Life.

Then more love will come, from God, from people, through people, but they are conduits of love, not someone to be kept (to be locked down, to be controlled). They are children of God, images of God, reflections of yourself.

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So while God has been bringing me to different men, to meet, to talk to, to minister to…there are some I am actually attracted to, and I find myself closing my heart because I don’t want to get attached in anyway knowing they are not my future husband…but I realize, it’s not about that, it’s about simply opening my heart to love.

I’m scared that I’ll lose someone and they’ll just disappear, like my dad.

I’m scared that I’ll get attached and suddenly they are not there anymore, and then I’ll have to feel pain. I hate the feeling of pain, no one likes pain. But that’s the beauty of love.

Experience every emotion, and then move through it. Don’t avoid the feeling. Don’t run from it. Embrace it, and then love again.

Don’t live in regret that you got hurt by someone, or that you chose to love someone….

Everything you experienced was love.

Sure, you may not have married your high school sweetheart but every person you loved was an experience of love.

Love is not kept, love is experienced.

I experience love through every stranger I meet.

Sometimes I am deeply hurt by people I minister to or are friends with. Sometimes their words pierce my heart and I want to cry. I do cry. Sometimes I weep. But all of that is my human experience, love experienced.

I never lacked anything or anyone. I don’t lose anything when I lose someone I love, because they were simply an expression of God’s love to me. 

In that way I don’t have to regret any experiences of hurt or love, I don’t have to regret even hurting myself. I learned from it, I learned to love myself.

You don’t have to be afraid of love my friends, open your heart, you will get hurt but you will be loved too. 

You may not be part of my life forever, but you are here to show me a part of God’s love. I receive that and I can freely give love too. You are not taking away anything from me. You are simply receiving love from God through me. We don’t own anyone, we don’t own our family or our friends.

This way, I can freely release you when it’s time to, if I have to. I can allow you to love whoever you choose to love. And when I lose you, I know God will send others too.

When I meet my husband, I can love from a place of abundance knowing I never lacked anyone or love, that I was always whole in God’s eyes. 

Congrats to those who are getting married soon by the way 🙂 Love you!

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

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Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Prophetic Word- It’s A Yes & Amen

Yes and Amen

Prophetic Word- It’s A Yes And Amen

I was sitting at home and kept hearing go out to eat, I felt this feeling in my heart even if I wanted to deny it I could not.

I was trying to watch this movie called “When We First Met”. It’s about a guy who goes back in time trying to get the girl he thinks is his one but he actually realizes it is not her. But it all works out at the end. After I watched the movie I got a notification asking for a self tape for an acting project I had submitted for. I was surprised as I haven’t gotten anything for a long time.

I also got a notification that someone was trying to use my Agoda account and had tried to charge something on my old credit card. I also recently tried to use my credit card and today realized I had 2 of the same credit cards in my wallet.

One was old and I had somehow picked it up again thinking it was the new one and “transactions were denied and failed” to my surprise.

Today I destroyed the old credit card when I realized I still had the old one.

I felt like it was very symbolic of destroying old mindsets and beliefs, grief, disappointment, negativity.

That only the new could stay. I also had a dream that my debit card fell onto the floor and I picked it up (picking up your dreams that you layed down). I also had a dream where I told my brother Isaak to take out all the money from the credit card and go to Hawaii with it. I believe it is symbolic of taking out the dreams you’ve stored up to manifest them.

I was reminded of my dream yesterday where I was in Taiwan and I saw 2 kids from a popular Korean TV show (Return of the Superman). In the dream I yelled “my dreams came true!” I also had a dream where I was almost late for my flight out of Taiwan, but I had to run. Taiwan in my dreams usually mean childhood and childhood healings. I felt like God was saying you are graduating and things you’ve been praying for are about to happen.

So I went out and started running. I started to cry when I ate as I felt there were so many things that were delayed. I had just gotten an email to self tape audition for a project. I was tired of disappointments, delays but then when I went to eat, the waiter’s name was “hao”, which means YES in Chinese.

The day before a lady who I did not know gave me $3 and said “amen” 3 times, as in “YES it’s an amen, it is done”. I just passed by her at a bus stop and she suddenly handed me 3 $1 bills. She said nothing but those 3 amens. 

Then today I found this scarf and felt led to buy it. It was $3, it has faces of men on them and a German flag colors, reminding me of where I was born.

Then I felt led to sit near the front of the bus and a lady was on the phone with her husband. I asked “is it your husband?” She said “Yes”.

I felt led to get a boba drink, however, I walked around and could not feel right about any place. I’d stand in front of the cashier and linger. I did not feel it. I’d walk away, I walked away from 2 places and suddenly I thought of this strawberry smoothie. I went there and saw the manager I knew. I had not seen him for a long time (layed down dreams).

I suddenly asked “are you married?” and he said “almost, in one month”.

I felt the Lord say “it’s a YES AND AMEN” to what you’ve been waiting for.

DO NOT LINGER WHEN I CALL, FOR IN YOUR STEPS OF OBEYING THE SPIRIT YOU WILL SEE THE SIGNS of MANIFESTATION.

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MY TESTIMONY

Harvest is Coming! Sow A Seed Today!

Harvest is coming, sow a financial seed today!

I had a dream I was in a taxi car with a Nepal taxi driver, then they were bringing me to Fan Ran Gong center and I told them I was Christian, and I pointed them to a building with a cross on it. When I woke up God said have people sow, a HARVEST IS COMING! I also dreamed that I was in a car of 7 people and I was planning a birthday party in a new house. My birthday is 2/11.

Make a contribution- much love, may it be credited to your account in manifold blessings as it says in the bible. When you sow, you want to give to good soil, and this is good soil. Thank you for your partnership and love!  

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Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

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Please fast forward, the front page is a bit long. LOL.

Whatever you sow into this ministry, God is going to multiply.

How To Break Off The Fear of Lack 

God has told me when I don’t ask people to give I am robbing them of the blessings connected to me, giving is an act of breaking off the fear that you don’t have enough.

“He started downloading prophetic words to me for people.

In one vision I saw doors after doors lined up and I had the key to each door. Behind each door was a captive, each person had tape over her or his mouth and chains tying their hands together. They were immobile and stuck, unable to speak.

As I opened each door to free them a provision was available for me.

I see the words “fear of lack, fear of judgment, fear of rejection, fear of failure” marked on each person. But as I had the key to free them each fear fell off as I held their hand and led them out of that room of captivity.

You are leading people out of Egypt and as you do that, you will set people free from the bondage of mammon.”