“You lied to me. Friends don’t lie”.
I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. The emotions were raw. I could feel like my eyes were bulging out of my chest and my heart was about to explode. Eventually tears came and it felt good to feel.
Sometimes we just go about our day, never revealing to people how we feel. We control every factor. We plan our day, our drive, our GPS to life. We never allow God to flow through us.
How about now? When’s the last time you felt completely broken in front of God.
I really feel this today. Even though I am close to God, perhaps I’ve closed my heart to God. So many disappointments, so many closed doors. We can become disheartened and no longer feel. What is the point of feeling this emotion, it’s hopeless. We become depressed because we don’t expect anything good anymore.
God has been putting me through reality show quality drama.
I mean I am talking about not being in control ever. Not only are there divine appointments wherever I go….there are a lot of unknown factors.
Okay, throw a guy into the mix, then some lies, betrayal. Okay, throw the fact that someone just told me he saw a dead woman lying on the street due to a car accident. This friend told me that he felt really weird today.
Oh you mean maybe you need to cry?
Feeling gross, yucky, weird…….indicates that you may need a good cry. But the lies have to come out first. So you either talk to God, or most likely God wants you to talk to people about it.
It can be simple….
Like “why did you lie to me?”
“I felt unwanted when you did this______”
“You hurt me, I feel deceived”
Not everyone is open to that discussion. I can feel my heart more than I’ve ever felt. It’s scary.
But YOU ARE ENOUGH.
No wonder what you’ve been through- you are enough. You are not lacking. Feel your emotions, sit in the safety of my arms. I’m here.
Sow a seed-
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Rebekka Lien 