Living Against Cultural Norms

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Living Against Cultural Norms 11/25/2018, 9th day in Shanghai China, 4 months overseas, written in the middle of the night on my notebook.
I’ve gone through more challenges than I would care to experience following Jesus and ministering to people in different countries. It’s easy to hide behind a computer but when you are interacting and living with people on a daily basis you’ll face many objections and challenges.

For one, sexism.
Another, the spirit of intimidation and control (witchcraft).
Another, hurt.
There were times I had to ask people to put their phones on silent mode in the dorm rooms. In a 8 bed dorm room you’ll encounter plenty of people.

When I asked this guy to silence his phone as all kinds of sounds were coming from his phone (BTW the first night I got woken up by someone watching porn on their phone, no headphones), he ignored me and pretended I didn’t exist.

He finally got off his bed, which is the top bunk above mine.

When I confronted him, he looked away and pretended I didn’t exist.
Then he stared at me and said “are you crazy? Why are you staring at me?”
I was speechless.
This kind of person exists in this world?
When I told other chinese people about it they said I should just ignore it. They ignore many things. To them it’s part of life- longsuffering.

I believe God calls us to forgive and love our enemies, but He doesn’t call us to be silent.

In fact, a prophet is supposed to speak in the face of opposition, persecution and intimidation.

This week I also showed my past TV appearance videos to some people. They were shocked as I was “skinnier” and “prettier” back then, they said.

I said “I didn’t know who I was back then, I felt that I needed to put on makeup but now I don’t feel the need to put on a “face” for anyone.

But those words still affected me and I had to climb out of the “feeling of not being enough” hole. The truth is I didn’t each much back then out of the fear of lack and the fear of gaining weight. When moments like that occur I have to look at Jesus and reaffirm “I am enough in Christ Jesus”.

I had a dream last night I hadn’t changed water in a tank for 3 weeks and the fishes were in a really thick shampooed filled liquid.

I had another dream a woman pastor layed her hands on my head and I started sobbing. When I woke up I could hear myself crying.

The process of loving others is not easy. I find myself angry and hurt at times, laughing at other times.

I share my testimonies and of God’s grace to people who aren’t perfect- like me.
People who are scared of intimacy, vulnerability, letting anotone into their hearts, people who carry a spirit of lack and don’t feel like they are enough, people who feel guilt and shame and sometimes have no capacity to give me any love because they haven’t embraced God’s love.

Even though I experience joy in these friendships, I’m ultimately still a pastor, minister, prophet.

Its not a 2 way street. I may be sharing intimate parts of my heart but I am never to look for belonging or acceptance from people I minister to because my home is God, no one else.

Perhaps the joy I felt caused me to think that I’ve found new friends, but close friends are people who can actually level up with you.

God will humble you and cause your heart to be enlarged, but your heart will also have to process continual rejection and persecution.

Most of the time people don’t understand me but my job is to share what is on God’s heart and know my belonging is in God.

Being a pastor to the lost sheep is not easy.

It’s a calling for people who will surrender to their hearts continually to God.

It’s a calling for warriors.
It’s a calling for those who won’t give up in the face of strong opposition.

Sow a seed

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Spiritual Revolution

PROPHETIC WORD AND DECLARATION-
Here is a MAJOR awakening happening in China. A lot of people I talk to ACTUALLY have vivid DREAMS every single night. They might not believe in God but THE L#RD is speaking. I feel really grateful to be part of this awakening as I’m a fire starter, a match to the revolution.

After talking to 4 guys in the kitchen until 2 in the morning, p4@ying for some of them I had a vivid dream.

THE DEVIL hates what I’m doing.

In the dream people are partaking of a buffet and eating. They eat so much that they fall asleep, when they fall asleep, the devil with blue skin and white clothes choke people to death. Each person is in front of a TV screen in their own cubicle. I start warning people but there is so much distraction, people start talking and trying to SHUT ME UP!

I finally get one person aside and warn them.

In the dream witches dressed in black start chasing me and I feel dizzy in the dream (witchcraft) I yell JESUS JESUS and I can’t wake up but I finally do.

THE TREND right now and the strategy of the ENEMY is to distract people to be so ENTERTAINED by media, that he is systematically BRAINWASHING people into thinking they are living the life they want when in fact, they actually FALL ASLEEP spiritually.

I see people on the PHONES ALL DAY. I see people walking on the subway with their phones, NEVER one minute leaving their phones.

It’s a way to actually numb their emotions.

BUT I SPEAK BREAKTHROUGH IN THE name of J@SUS.

YOU WILL NOT BE A SLAVE TO the brainwashing of media in J#sus name. You will be the ONE TO WARN OTHERS.

THE LIGHT WILL GET BRIGHTER IN THE END TIMES but the DARKNESS WILL GET DARKER TOO.

I DECLARE protection over all of God’s CHILDREN in J#SUS name. You need to be the one to SPEAK UP about injustices, about oppression and suppression. THERE IS A MAJOR AWAKENING HAPPENING OVER THE WORLD and WILL YOU BE THE ONE TO STEP UP and STOP HOLDING ONTO what you think will give you SAFETY!?

The world will end one day, will you drown in the distractions of the enemy or BE THAT WARRIOR to fight no matter what?

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Last year my mom was going to ask her travel agent about going on a tour to China. I decided to go with her but decided to bring my passport because who knew?

Well, I ended up going.

But guess what, out of nowhere the travel agent said she wanted to give me a free visa to China, she believed that I was really a writer.

I didn’t really understand but I knew PAPA had made a way.

Now I understand that every prophetic word and writing is pivotal and essential to changing minds, hearts.

Do you know of any prophet going to China and prophesying?

Freedom comes from OVERCOMING FEAR.

I will not fear, I will rise and stand as I see the spiritual revolution unfold. Wherever and however G. Leads, I am ready.

Don’t Stay Stuck

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Prophetic Word November 23, 2018
One of the tactic of the enemy is to make you think you’ve found your nest with people you think you belong with. But you know their true character.

They are not your destiny.

Your belonging is in Christ, not in people.
The enemy will send people to make you feel comfortable or familiar and because you’ve felt “alone” for so long you will think “maybe this is where I belong”, but

ARE they pushing you to GROW or allowing you to be STUCK in mud?

True friends will pull you out of the mud and not allow you to stay in it or even allow you to drown in mud.

Beward of wolves in sheep skin, they might even be your family members or friends.
A true prophet will not say what you want to hear but tell you the truth. A desire to fit in and be accepted by those around you will be detrimental to your growth.
You belong to God.
You are already accepted and approved by God.
Your only way is forward.

Beware of those who want to entertain you with mud (the past) because God wants you to move forward.
You must push through the familiar voices, they are distractions from your destiny and true freedom.

Beware of those who just say what you want to hear or give advice that allow you to stay stuck.
Not everyone will make it out. Some will stay in the mud.

You don’t dim your light to accommodate peoples’ darkness, you shine your light- even brighter to bring change to darkness.

 

Just because it feels comfortable doesn’t mean it’s a path from God. Sometimes the more you find your freedom the more you should face and confront difficult conversations and blockages. 

Because your path to FREEDOM comes with battles.

 

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Happiness Is Not Selfish

When you follow your heart, listen to your heart, act on your heart’s desires, you actually allow others to do the same.

Yesterday I was talking to a guy and I said “If peoples’ happiness depend on what you do or don’t do for them, isn’t their happiness based on sinking sand and not on inner peace? Many times Asians live for their families and parents but your parents need to find their own happiness too, it shouldn’t be dependent on your actions and what you decide to do with your life. THIS IS codependency! lt is unhealthy and is not healthy for both parties.
When you tell your truth you actually allow that person to grow as well. You are afraid of hurting that person’s feeling by creating healthy boundaries but you actually hurt them by not telling them. Because awareness leads to change if that person is willing to grow.”

FYI I am currently in Shanghai, China.

We were talking about how Chinese culture is very much about sacrificing for our family, and being “unhappy” for the sake of others.

Think Amy Tan.

But who said that being unhappy for others leads to their happiness.

That’s a total lie.

When you are happy, you actually give others permission to be happy. And happiness (in a healthy and whole way), not in a slave to desire kind of way. I’m talking about being fearless in your life, knowing you are enough kind of way. I’m not talking about a shopping spree happy kind of way, I’m talking about living out of your heart and not what society deems as happiness.

I told him- you are worthy.

I said you are actually in a season where you are opening your heart and showing your vulnerability, showing your weaknesses, being unafraid to to speak your truth….overcoming the fear of rejection.

This is a prophetic word for you.

Some of you have been in hiding but the Lord is saying to come out of hiding. Speak your truth, you are worthy. Tell your story, you are enough. Don’t be afraid of rejection because you know who you are in Christ Jesus.

The time is now.

What Is Your Life Built On?

Matthew 6:19-21

Treasures in Heaven

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Is your life built on what others think of you?

If your life built on what your parents expect from you?

Is your life built on a career, something that might shift and change?

Is your life built on money, accruing more stuff, more houses, more clothes? (where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal)

Is your life built on finding the perfect guy/girl? (there is no such thing as perfection)

Is your life built on fame and reputation? (someone will always have something to say)

My life is built on Jesus.

I’ve lived my life for others before, I was a mommy pleaser, I tried to be the good Asian daughter, the driven and accomplished model citizen, but then I followed Jesus into entrepreneurship, freelancing, eventually answering the call to be a pastor to the lost sheep. I had no reputation, I actually gained haters and gained ill repute with some family members. I have trolls on my blog.

But I think that if I didn’t answer my call, I wouldn’t be praying for people who have breast cancer, I would be healing broken hearted people, I wouldn’t be praying over homeless people “you are not an orphan, but a son of God, I break off the spirit of orphan, fear and rejection, you are not a criminal, but forgiven”.

There is no better feeling than knowing that YOU’VE imparted TRUE identity to someone.

To tell them YOU ARE FREE! No longer under condemnation.

YOU ARE FREE.

A testimony from the other day: 

Today I felt led to pray for a lady in the bathroom and after she said, next time pray for me again. I have cancer. She said I have breast cancer and am going through treatment. So I prayed for her again. This time in a vision I actually saw her breast grow back, have never seen that but I said yes you are healed.

Then later on I picked up a 5 cents coin and looked up to see a homeless man. I prayed for this man Dean and he told me his story. His coworker was trying to harm him and he reacted with violence. He was charged with attempted murder. Two years in prison, he got out and he didn’t have family to turn to and started living on the streets.

I was praying “you are not an orphan, you are a son of God”. He said he became so close to Jesus on the streets. He says that people who everything have nothing without Jesus. I agreed with him.

I said you are called to be a preacher. He said, I know. I’ve been running away.

Then I told him my testimony of being called. Not with a specific church, not ordained, have no seminary background. But I do His work everyday, praying for those that need it.

We talked a lot while sitting on the ground, under the sun. I’m pretty sure many passerbys were staring, but we were flowing.

He said he had a brother in Cape Town. I said God wants you to reach out to him. I said “you don’t realize this but when you ask people for help, when they help you God actually blesses them. So in actuality you are actually helping them break out of the spirit of fear and lack”.

Then I prayed for a lady in a chinese restaurant who was very worried about his son not succeeding in math class. He is 9 years old, in a cram school. I said, your child is God’s. He will take care of him. It’s not your responsibility to worry, let go and surrender this to God.

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PROPHETIC WORD FOR WOMEN!

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The enemy has silenced women for so long with guilt, shame, accusation and intimidation BUT WHEN YOU know you are pure and righteous by the BLOOD OF JESUS you will RISE SO HIGH. YES I JUST FEEL LIKE GOD IS SAYING COME OUT OF HIDING!!! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE, BECAUSE I’VE ALREADY PROVED IT ON THE CROSS. YOU don’t have to defend yourself because I AM YOUR GREAT DEFENDER!

RISE and SHUT THE ENEMY UP.

ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED AND WANT. YOU don’t have to SUGAR COAT IT because I’ve PAID THE PRICE FOR IT!

You deserve it. YES I JUST SILENCE THE VOICE OF INTIMIDATION AND GUILT. NO YOU ARE NOT GUILTY OF THE PAST, YOU MAY HAVE MADE MISTAKES BUT JESUS has WASHED YOU CLEAN.

YES you are NOT AN ORPHAN, you are a mighty child of GOD! People will judge you or accuse you but your LAWYER JESUS says “you are righteous by the blood of Jesus, there is NO condemnation for those that are in CHRIST JESUS”.

It’s time to remove the shackles of fear and guilt.

YES GOD. WE DECREE AND DECLARE there will BE NO MORE OCEANS to drown you but THE LORD will part the seas for you! I PRAY acceleration and I DECLARE all provisions and PEACE BE onto you. YOU ARE ENOUGH, you are NOT LACKING. I PRAY THE DOORS OF HEAVEN be OPEN, I PRAY everything that has YOUR NAME ON IT be RELEASED IN PERFECT TIMING.

YES LORD we AGREE.

Every weapon against you be destroyed in the NAME OF JESUS, every setback, every discouraging thought, every stronghold of depression or oppression be loosed from your mind and heart in JESUS NAME! Every anxious thought be replaced with YOUR LOVE JESUS!

Only YOU Lord can set us free. And you have already done that on the cross. SO WE CLAIM it, we inherit it as HEIRS on this CONTRACT signed by your BLOOD JESUS!

YES WE ARE HEIRS AND NOT ORPHANS! WE inherit every rightful authority, provision, blessing, restoration of relationships, right relationships, alignment of ministry and life calling, angels of protection and provision, health, and more in Jesus name!

 

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The Holy Spirit Vs. The Religious Spirit

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Often times when I ask to pray for people on the streets, bathrooms, malls, restaurants people ask me “what church do you go to?” as if a church would give me legitimacy. Some people ask me if I went to seminary, as if seminary gives someone legitimacy.

Without the holy spirit, it doesn’t matter what qualifications you have, you are still operating from the flesh and from a fleshly mind. 

For some reason people think that if you are with a specific church, then you are a true prophet. WRONG. There are plenty of false prophets that are in megachurches, that lead megachurches and are not filled with Jesus or the holy spirit.

The only thing that qualifies you is the fact that Jesus died on the cross for you and He paid for it, it’s the HOLY SPIRIT in me that heals sicknesses, diseases, heartaches, identity. It’s the blood of Jesus that heals, nothing else.

It’s not a name of the church that heals the sick, it’s not what theology I know that heals the broken hearted, it’s the name of Jesus and those who have a true relationship with Jesus.

It is the religious spirit that wants to disqualify people from walking in their calling to simply touch peoples’ lives and hearts by the pure unadulterated love of God. 

And the Holy Spirit can do whatever, whenever.

When God gave me a dream this week about China, I didn’t hesitate. Yes, I thought He initially wanted me to go to Paris in December, but when the Holy Spirit speaks, it doesn’t what preconceived notion you had, you move with Him.

So I booked a ticket to China. And I realized that God was speaking very loudly even before this dream. I had been staying in an airbnb where the owner had moved to China, someone from 10 years ago emailed me and asked if I was going to China anytime soon, I was craving Chinese food having been in South Africa for a month, the people around me were being called to China.

When God moves, you must move with Him. Before I went overseas, the Lord told me I was going to China as well, but I thought it was going to be later (2019) but there are people I need to pray for and timing is EVERYTHING.

There are so many people I would not have been able to reach or pray for if I didn’t obey God. People I prayed for just had job interviews, some just lost their jobs, some needed finances, some had broken hearts and severe backaches, hereditary diseases, some were running away from God’s calling. 

Some people, a few months after are no longer stuck. Some are living their calling, some have answered the call to ministry, some have learned more about their identity in Christ, but there are hundreds, even thousands of lives touched because I chose to say yes.

I’ve prayed for people in bathrooms, on buses, in restaurants, everywhere. It’s been a ride.

I am currently doing a fundraiser to raise funds for my on going ministry. Specifically I had to fund most of the trip on my own and when God finally told me to do a fundraiser, I realize that what I’m doing, is going to save lives, transform lives, change the world.

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Prophetic decree! Season of birthing! Watch video for prophetic word and decree.