There Is Nothing To Do, Nowhere To Be

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The last week I have been wrestling with a feeling of restlessness. You know when you plan charts and goals in your mind but instead God says “rest”. Most people think resting is easy, but actually it’s really difficult. Sometimes you compare yourself, you see celebrities and insta-famous people “progressing” and you think to yourself “what am I doing?” as if your life is measured by fame and money.

Resting is difficult because society drills “you’re not there yet, you’re not enough” into your mind. It’s everywhere, this message.

This message is the voice of the slave master, the devil himself.

But God says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 

The slave master has entered the minds of spiritual people too by telling them to go to yoga everyday, and if not, they can’t enter rest. The slave master has told people of faith to serve like slaves at churches or temples, to the point of exhaustion….I was there once, when I was a teenager. I would go to church at 7am, “do worship practice”, teach sunday school at 9am, lead worship at 11am, then I had youth group leader leadership meeting sometimes until 5pm.

This slave mentality took me through my time in the fashion industry, into entrepreneurship, but finally, God set me free.

He taught me how to be a child again.

Up until then, I defined my worth by how much I could accomplish. Growing up in a single parent home made me want to achieve more, somehow I needed to prove myself and help my family. If I could become someone or something, then I would be worth loving. 

This slave mentally has the whole world bound.

Most Christians don’t even understand the Gospel because it is attached with “and make sure you serve at church”. 

Not everyone is called to serve at church. Not everyone is called to serve yogurt at snack time.

If the Gospel means Jesus has freed you 100% and totally, you are a free person. You don’t need to do anything out of obligation, if it’s not desired in your heart, it’s not from God because God wouldn’t force you to do anything.

“Well, I should want to feed the homeless right?”

No, because God does not give the same desires to everyone. Maybe you are called to write music because it will heal souls. There is no better way or prescribed path for everyone.

I personally love traveling but I realize that traveling is often a way for me to feel like a free person, that anything is possible….that I am not bound by time, money, or location.

But I can feel free now by realizing that “there is nothing to do, nowhere to be”- why?

Because Jesus paid it all.

It is finished.

There is nothing to do because it is finished. I am complete. I am not lacking, I am whole in Christ Jesus. When God sees me, I’m not a work in progress, I’m righteous and whole.

There is nowhere to be because going there wouldn’t make me more whole or complete, I am complete now. 

It has taken me 30 years of my life to truly grasp this.

I received Jesus into my heart when I was 12, but I grew up going to church. Now, I realize most of what I saw was just a bunch of people trying to please God not knowing that God already accepted them via Jesus’ finished work on the cross. 

This slave mentality exists inside and outside the church. It is a prominent culture in America.

This message of “you’re not enough” will lead to death.

The message of “you are enough because Jesus redeemed you” will lead to life. This message of grace will liberate you and break the chains of slavery that torments your mind.

If you don’t live by grace, you will work and create out of lack and lack is just exhausting. Living out of “you’re not enough” will suck you dry.

When you rest in God, you are drawing out of eternal abundance. There is never a lack of supply.

I pray that these words will set your soul free.

 

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You Are Not Your Talent- A Message to Creatives

If you have trouble watching the video click here

I thought my dream was to travel the world,

I thought my dream was to set people free,

I thought my dream was to be on TV or to be famous or to own a big house and to drive nice cars,

I thought my dream was to help others achieve their dreams and goals….

and I realized, my dream is to be loved by God and I have already achieved that. 

My true dream is to walk with God everyday of my life…and nothing else truly matters. I get to live out His heart for people. 

Nothing has changed in my circumstances. Right now I sleep on a sofa bed I have to pull out everyday, I’m not on prime time television, I don’t have a big contract with any big companies, I’m not making bank and I don’t have a car even!!!! But I feel MORE ALIVE AND FREE than I have EVER felt in my whole life because GOD. ALL I NEED IS GOD!

A message for creatives
You are not your talent. 
I feel so strongly that many artists have felt a spirit of rejection on them and that they’ve felt like they are failure because they haven’t made it.
I have a message that will set you free.
This is my reflection after watching “Loving Vincent”.
Watch this video and feel free to share. 

After I made this video I felt like I had come back from another planet and I have been spiritually high ever since that video. I feel like GOD calibrated and breathed into my heart in a new way.

Every Upgrade Requires A Cost

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I know this WORD is from God because I could NOT have thought of it myself.

Every upgrade in your life REQUIRES A COST. Take Iphones for example, every upgrade requires a higher cost. The Iphone X is $999  and “that’s just the entry-level iPhone X at 64GB. The 256GB model that everyone wants is $150 on top of that price” (techradar.com). The Iphone 8 plus is how much? $699 to $949.

Maybe 10 years ago we would have thought that’s an absurd price for a single phone. But we buy it now because we believe it is WORTH it’s value. It has functions that sync a phone with a waterproof camera, a planner, internet, mp3, etc….unlike in the past when everything was separate….

Every new IPHONE has to have ADDED or better features or else we wouldn’t be spending more to buy it if there was no DIFFERENCE from the previous one.

Some people have the newest Iphone but have failed to learned all the new functions that go with the phone so they’re still using it like it’s a flip phone…..but God does not allow that to happen….unless you want to, because it usually results in destruction.

For example – Having too much power in media or politics before you have the character or wisdom to be in that place. What usually takes place is a downfall or an attack from the public to build your character.

SO HERE is the lesson. Every upgrade requires a COST. 

When you are upgrading to another LEVEL in your life, everything NEEDS TO SYNC with it. 

You need to walk THROUGH fear into faith and that’s HARD. I know because every time I go through a transition, I SEE nothing, or very little evidence of upgrade….but I have to WALK through the feelings of being petrified into “GOD I believe, help my unbelief”.

Faith without doubt is not faith at all because faith requires us to walk even when we don’t see.

This comes with lots of “omg I’m so scared and I can’t do this, I feel like I’m not good enough” and nights (recently) where I’m facing my insecurities, I’m feeling fear on me, I’m feeling body aches…

But then God reminds me to USE my authority to CAST out the fear. Back then I may have just allowed the fear to stay in my body, but now I’ve learned to cast it out. I’m going to the next level in my faith. It’s hard, every time.

My Iphone 6 was stolen when I was in the Philippines. I was at the mall when someone pushed against me in line and my phone was gone.

The devil thought he could STEAL my phone, but he could NOT STEAL my identity. After that I used a tablet for a year or so when someone gave me his old phone. 

Because I no longer needed the latest phone to prove my NEWEST and latest identity.

My identity is waterproof, bullet proof, and it has all features. I’m spirit filled and death proof. If someone shot me today I’m going to heaven and seeing Jesus. If someone accuses me, I know God will protect me and I know I am enough in Christ. 

That doesn’t mean I don’t battle the FEELINGS of insecurity, but it’s just a feeling, it’s not the truth. 

When you upgrade into the NEXT you, what COST is required- 

  1. A decision to BELIEVE in the impossible, a DECISION to BELIEVE what is true about you and God. You will have to cast aside FALSE beliefs about who you are and what you can do.
  2. The old you and old mindsets. Like an iphone, you must sell or put aside the old iphone and USE the new iphone.
  3. Faith in the face of fear.
  4. Relationships that are not healthy or beneficial for this new season. Yes, you can stay friends with people but there are seasons that require you to zone in and focus on the development that is happening within. You may start to meet NEW people, you might have one divine encounters after another. God might set you ASIDE in solitude while He works on your heart (like a surgeon does with his patients).
  5. A decision to CHOOSE abundance versus lack….what decisions are you making out of lack? You must be conscious to choose abundance because your tent is about to explode with spiritual gifts of peace, hope, joy and love as well material gifts. You must SEE farther than your current budget or your current income. God is your provider, He can do all things according to His riches in glory.

The struggle in the metamorphosis process ((in an insect or amphibian) the process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages. A change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means – dictionary.com)….is difficult.

It’s not an overnight thing.

That’s why it’s disheartening when someone wants something right away…

Did you not know it requires everything to sync? 

  1. your beliefs
  2. your habits
  3. your character and integrity
  4. who you surround yourself with
  5. your humility

It’s a process that takes time as you FORM into the next you.

What does the “next you” consist of?

  1. Authority and confidence in your true identity
  2. Promotion in the spiritual and physical realm
  3. New levels of influence and friendships
  4. More Abundance in every area of your life- including peace, joy, love and spiritual gifts
  5. New annointing

So you’re not ALONE in this….because we are all going through this transformation, and it’s never ending, but I pray God will give you the rest and grace to enjoy the journey. 

The Value of Trying

Today I met with a publicist. She was incredibly nice and kind- unlike the many people I have met in LA. She offered me advice on putting together a media kit and showing companies my numbers on social media and blog.

To be honest, I was pretty overwhelmed. Because I’ve done all that before. I’ve put together media kits before. I’ve tried to show people my value….but at the end of the day, if people really truly know WHO I AM, I wouldn’t have to try so hard. Because I know what I have to offer- me. 

Not the numbers, not the views.

Me. The authentic, the imperfect, the enough me. 

Instead of being gripped by fear, I did approach some of the past opportunities that I felt like “it wasn’t the right time” to pursue last year….and even though I knew the “numbers” weren’t there. Yes, I don’t have 80,000 followers on instagram. I have over 1,200.

So I got no’s. 

But I felt relieved. 

I felt like “you know what. I actually don’t want to go down this path”.

Because I know what I have to offer is greater than numbers, followers, views.

It’s about authenticity.

I write and live out authenticity. 

I am not better or less than. 

I am who I am and I want to write about the imperfect, complicated and simple life that I have. I want to write about how I get rejected, how I get no’s, how even though my numbers and qualifications don’t add up, God’s grace is enough for me. 

And so if God’s grace doesn’t open that door for me, I know God’s grace isn’t on it. 

I want to write about the fear that is so real and makes my arms numb, about the belly fat that I sometimes loath, and how I try to do yoga at night but realize I just need to love myself for what I look like now, fully and completely. That NO I can’t get abs in one week.

Self- care.

Self- love.

Self- acceptance.

Take it or leave it. That’s me.

I’m not going to figure out how to get more followers so I can go on a press trip, because I’m more than that.

I write to change lives, to tell people, it’s okay to be authentic and imperfect…to speak your mind, to speak the truth, to be politically incorrect, to be insecure, to make mistakes. 

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I’m going to keep doing what I love and what I’m good at.

I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole of trying to be good at something I don’t like doing.

Trying and getting a “no” is better than not trying and living in fear.
Because when you get a “no” or a rejection letter, you feel relieved.

You know you can move on and no longer have to be thinking about it. You know something more SUITABLE is ahead for you.

It’s like closing a chapter and knowing that another is coming.

What doors are you leaving open that needs to be closed?

Sometimes those new doors won’t open until you say NO firmly to the last door.
If you claim it’s a new season, why are you still flirting with the past. If you claim you don’t want to, why do you keep doing it. Do your words mean anything if you don’t stick to your own intention?
Half ass intentions leads to half ass results.

Let your no be no. Let your yes be yes. And last of all, say absolutely YES to yourself.

This is me. All of me. I believe that if it’s meant to be, God will open the door. It doesn’t mean you just wait on your ass for manna to fall down from heaven…you still try, but you try knowing that rejection is just an open door to the next good thing.

Let the spirit lead. Everything has already been completed.

Riley Unlikely- Simple Childlike Faith

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Hello Friends,

I am back with another book review. Riley Unlikely caught my attention because of its’ book cover, to be honest. I like the teal color. Anyhow, the story is about a young teenager who goes to Kenya, Africa for volunteer work. Riley overcomes difficulties and cultural differences, but is touched by her encounter with the children she helps. She encounters several miracles in her journey to later provide sanitary supplies, school supplies, and build a home for the children. Later she also finds out about a physical ailment that will affect her life forever. However, she overcomes each obstacle with her faith in God.

Reading this book reminded me of my early days when I used to go on volunteer trips. The first time I watched a anti-human trafficking video was when I was 14. I think having an activist heart influenced many decisions I later made to change the world. Every summer I went on a trip, I can still remember each kid’s smile and tears. It made my life worth living. I highly recommend people to get out of their comfort zone and do something worthwhile. It will change the course of your life.

I give this book 5 out of 5 Bex Stars. Her story is very inspirational and worth reading for those that have somehow lost touch with their purpose in life.

https://www.facebook.com/rileyunlikely/

PS- This book was given to be exchange for an honest review. For more reviews, updates and inspirational reads, please subscribe on the right side and LIKE my page on FB too. Love, BEX. 

 

 

 

 

The Devil Wants To Shut Me Down

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The devil wants to shut me down, I love how he uses strangers and people who don’t even know me. My words are power, by my words I am justified.

My words are the expression of my life, I’ve always written, ever since I was young. In some governments and society freedom of speech is prohibited. In religious institutions where the spirit of control reigns, speech is limited and oppressed. 

Writers, Artists are oppressed, shunned, excommunicated. 

Words are powerful. And that is why I will continue to write whatever the fuck I want. 

Because I am a shocking person, I am an outcast who loves the outcast. I am a revolutionist who loves to shock people with my life. 

Tell me what to write when you have put your life on the line for love. Tell me what to write when you have lived as fearlessly as I have. Tell me what to write when you have trudged the forests on your own, survived death and back, tell me what to write when you have put your heart on the line for God.

I will not back down for the life of me.

My words are my heartbeats, my words are an expression of the blood running through me. I am a shock to society. I am younger than most, wiser than most, older than some, but with a hundred thousand lifetimes.

I am a spirit and a soul that no one has ever seen before. I have got all the saints and angels, prophets and leaders who have gone before me cheering me on. Believe me, you cannot control the words that God speaks through me. 

So I will write WHATEVER the fuck I want. 

Even if it offends you.

 

 

Souk Shawarma {Restaurant Review}

“If you find yourself in a foreign land for the first time, and want to learn about the culture and the people, find you way to the local market and you will expose yourself to the food and culture of that foreign land in the best possible way.”– Matt , Celebrity Chef and Avid Traveler.

As a traveler myself I had to try the newest Middle Eastern foodie paradise, Souk Shawarma (opened on November 30, 2015) . The restaurant is located in Downtown on 1111 Wilshire Blvd, close to the neck of K-town.

What is unique about Souk Shawarma is that the owners/chef are passionate about the food they create. As a 20 year expert chef, Matt has lived and traveled in the Caribbean and all over the middle east. His co-founder is Andrew, also a chef and food enthusiast. The delectable dishes are inspired by tastes of Eastern Mediterranean, North African, Moroccan and the Gulf Region (duck) and flavors from Lebanon (chicken) and Turkey (beef).

“It is a journey home for those with childhood memories laced with family trips down to the souk, you eagerly await the meat as it is shaved and layered into piping hot pita bread, topped with chopped salad, tahini, fries, pickles. It is a trip inside your scrapbook for the traveler, the explorer who took a moment to rest and refuel, while navigating the never-ending maze of the souk, and the tried shawarma for the first time. It is the perfect balance of timeless tradition and modern fare for those experiencing the flavor of the Middle East for the first time, just a small window into the vast culture and the flavorful cuisine of the region.”

After 4 years of planning, Andrew and Matt successfully founded and opened a restaurant with delicious and savory shawarma, meat roasted over open fire, wood-fired oak.

When I visited, there was a huge line of people.

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http://www.soukshawarma.com/

1111 Wilshire Blvd.
Suite 104
Los Angeles, CA 90017
(213) 935-8373

 

 

 

Tabbouleh- tomato, parsley, mint, scallions, cucumber, olive oil, lemon juice, spices. My favorite. Fresh salad sides are ready to go and are a great refreshing side to the shawarmas.

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Popcorn Fallafel image2

Hummus

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Shawarma fries, this is one of my favorite dishes, green onions, your choice of shawarma and some cheese with their signature sauce. image5

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Different meats with signature sauces and grilled veggies, remember only Souk Shawarma actually roasts meat over open fire created by oak wood, while most restaurants use gas. The fire creates a special chewy texture which makes the meat even more tasty and adds to the unique spices. A + for making my stomach happy and my taste buds fired with love.