The Bachelorette

Rebekka5

Hi friends!

First off, if you’ve ever wanted to talk to me, had questions, want advice or coaching on spirituality, romance, love, issues, overcoming anxiety and fears, finding your life direction, career paths, dating, etc or if you just want to chat!….I am doing sessions from 12pm- 2pm pacific time. (TODAY, February 19, 2020)

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See you soon! There are 8 sessions available. 

I really hate dating sometimes.

My heart feels tight, I woke up crying. My mom wanted to go to Ikea but I didn’t want to. I just wanted to be alone. I needed to feed my heart and I didn’t want to respond to her nagging.

I went on a date with this guy, he was Christian too. He was a great guy. We talked about God, it was amazing.

But his level of faith wasn’t in par with mine.

That was the dilemma. You need to make sure he is called to the same life purpose. I’m called to deliver people from demons, fears, bondages, I’m called to follow Jesus, and I’m dedicated to Jesus. I’m not a half Christian who just goes to church, I’m listening to His voice on the daily. 

I could lie to myself and lie to him, but I’m too old for that. I’m 32. I’m looking for my husband. 

The truth really does set you free. Sometimes people play around with their truth. They like a person, there is chemistry, but there is no alignment. 

  1. Does he have the same purpose and calling as you?
  2. Does he love Jesus the same as you, or is he just following your faith?
  3. Does he have the same values as you.

I hate having magical moments and suddenly….you’re hit with reality.

OMG he’s not it.

I actually told the guy that he wasn’t it before we went on the date and he said later on that he thought I said that because I felt pressured.

We had some really deep talks.

I was crying at one point because I got really scared of getting hurt…the truth hurts sometimes, but it will definitely set you free.

DATING SUCKS SOMETIMES.

BUT YOU LEARN how to communicate your truth, you learn what it is you want, and you learn not to compromise your energy and your time. You also learn to be vulnerable and to speak your truth at all times. 

BE BRAVE.

Sow a seed, thank you for your partnership in setting people free! 

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

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Monthly Partnership- https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ! https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my

 

If you have any questions, want to chat or need coaching, click below!

I am doing sessions from 12pm- 2pm pacific time. 

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See you soon! There are 8 sessions available. If you can’t talk today, please add me on the app anyways as I will be providing more sessions. Love, Rebekka 

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Even If You Are Heart Broken, You Are Whole.

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How about ‘Open Your Heart- Come Out of Hiding’ as a 2020 resolution

Tell someone how you actually feel
Tell them they hurt you
Tell them you love or like them (even if they don’t reciprocate or don’t feel the same way)
Tell them what your heart was too scared to tell them

God will bring people to trigger you. You may want to be in the comfort of a womb, to be in control, protected…but often times we are protecting our hearts from love because we have been wounded.
It may feel annoying, you may not feel like talking to anyone, you may be wondering why a stranger is talking to you, you may start to feel anxious because you are holding the anger in, you may want to stay asleep and someone wakes you up with noise, you may wonder why someone is attacking you verbally, you may want to crawl in a hole….

But this is all good for you…

I don’t want you to be alone,
I wan’t you to be loved.

Leave me alone you may say,
But I will never leave you alone.

I feel utterly out of control but learning to let go of control and let love in. To respond authentically, not how I should, but how I really feel.

Love is scary.

You may tell someone how you feel and they may reject or judge you, they may lash out because they’re hurt. 

In the last few months I have been telling people how I feel. Sometimes people yell, sometimes they’re hurt, sometimes they respond well.

I never know what to expect. I’ve been severely hurt and wounded. But I’m learning to speak my truth.

I’ve told people that I loved them, that I liked them, and it was not reciprocated.

People have told me they want to have a relationship with me, and I’ve told them I don’t see a future.

I told my mother that it hurt that she told me to stop crying instead of comforting me when I broke up with my boyfriend at the age of 15.

I thought it was wrong to be sad. But I’ve learned sadness is part of life, we need to embrace each emotion, not skip it or say next.

Love is not love if you are only accepted at your best emotion, Love is love when you’re allowed to be yourself at each moment- emotional, sad, angry, bitter.

God accepts us whatever state we are in.

Even then we are enough.

You are whole. You are not lacking. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. You are righteous. Even if you are heart broken, you are not lacking, you didn’t lose a piece of your heart to someone, you are intact.

Remember that vision church teachers gave you? When you’re in love a part of you sticks onto that person, well the truth is grace means you are whole however broken your heart feels. You didn’t lose yourself, though it may feel like it. 

You are still whole,

you are still enough

because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

You didn’t waste time, you didn’t lose yourself, you are still whole. You didn’t do anything wrong. You are on the right path, don’t live in regret, forgive yourself.

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Here’s a fun shirt I saw at the mall, it made me laugh.

I love you all.

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien
Instagram: https://instagram.com/rebekkalien

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

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Monthly Partnership- https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/ Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my

 

Love Is Not Kept, It Is Experienced

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I heard God say “Love is not kept, it is experienced”.

Sometimes when we lose someone that we loved in our life, we feel like something is missing. You were never lacking, you just experienced love through this person.  You loved and you were loved. That’s divine.

Today I was going to uber somewhere and it malfunctioned. It was already noon and I hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch. I decided to take the bus.

When I walked to the back of the bus I was surprised to see a guy I previously met on the bus and ministered to. We talked and I started to feel anxiety because he kept talking about how everything is lacking. I tried to encourage him and I heard God say “don’t try to change him, just get to know him”. Well, how do I do that God when he is speaking from so much lack. I tried to tell him how I backpacked 30 countries and how there is so much in the world, dreams, visions, I wanted him to see the possibilities and not to just live for his grandparents. He would even say “well I don’t go out because then I have to spend money”.

I tried to tell him how I felt, he was like a brother to me. I realize I have the habit of trying to fix someone and I know it’s not my job to, God wants me to understand relationship, it’s about just being with someone. Love is about understanding and accepting where people are at in that moment. You need to love yourself in that way too, wherever you are, whatever state you are in, accept where you are.

The next bus I transferred to had a mentally unstable man. He had a spiderman web tattoo on his hand and AWOL tattooed to the top of his eyes, under his eyebrow. He was talking to himself.

I heard the Lord say “pray for him”, but I kind of didn’t want to. There were other people on the bus across us. Finally I made some comment. I looked him in the eye and asked what his name was. He became normal all of a sudden, I guess that is what human contact does.

He said he does meth sometimes when he is depressed, it helps him clean out.

I asked if he knew Jesus and he said not really. I prayed to cast out the spirit of suicide. He bowed his hands and put his hands together like a prayer emoji. People were watching us.

I finished praying and then he said “can we make out?”

I said “no”.

He said “I can see Jesus looking at us, smiling, saying ‘I am so proud of you two'”.

Then he started to get off the bus, he said “I love you Rebekka”.

I said “I love you two”.

He’s like “this area is just full of crime and stuff”.

Then he was off.

I felt warm in my heart. God, I know I complained when you told me to pray for him, but I get it now. It’s love. Love is to be experienced.

Sometimes we don’t want to put ourselves out there, because it’s scary, but love is to be experienced.

When you’re hurt by someone, it doesn’t mean they took anything from you. You were never lacking. When you’re hurt, when you lose someone, that’s all that is. Life.

Then more love will come, from God, from people, through people, but they are conduits of love, not someone to be kept (to be locked down, to be controlled). They are children of God, images of God, reflections of yourself.

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So while God has been bringing me to different men, to meet, to talk to, to minister to…there are some I am actually attracted to, and I find myself closing my heart because I don’t want to get attached in anyway knowing they are not my future husband…but I realize, it’s not about that, it’s about simply opening my heart to love.

I’m scared that I’ll lose someone and they’ll just disappear, like my dad.

I’m scared that I’ll get attached and suddenly they are not there anymore, and then I’ll have to feel pain. I hate the feeling of pain, no one likes pain. But that’s the beauty of love.

Experience every emotion, and then move through it. Don’t avoid the feeling. Don’t run from it. Embrace it, and then love again.

Don’t live in regret that you got hurt by someone, or that you chose to love someone….

Everything you experienced was love.

Sure, you may not have married your high school sweetheart but every person you loved was an experience of love.

Love is not kept, love is experienced.

I experience love through every stranger I meet.

Sometimes I am deeply hurt by people I minister to or are friends with. Sometimes their words pierce my heart and I want to cry. I do cry. Sometimes I weep. But all of that is my human experience, love experienced.

I never lacked anything or anyone. I don’t lose anything when I lose someone I love, because they were simply an expression of God’s love to me. 

In that way I don’t have to regret any experiences of hurt or love, I don’t have to regret even hurting myself. I learned from it, I learned to love myself.

You don’t have to be afraid of love my friends, open your heart, you will get hurt but you will be loved too. 

You may not be part of my life forever, but you are here to show me a part of God’s love. I receive that and I can freely give love too. You are not taking away anything from me. You are simply receiving love from God through me. We don’t own anyone, we don’t own our family or our friends.

This way, I can freely release you when it’s time to, if I have to. I can allow you to love whoever you choose to love. And when I lose you, I know God will send others too.

When I meet my husband, I can love from a place of abundance knowing I never lacked anyone or love, that I was always whole in God’s eyes. 

Congrats to those who are getting married soon by the way 🙂 Love you!

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

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Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

How To Deal With A Guilt-Tripping Mother

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New conversation with God added-

God– she’s not your responsibility

Me– it feels really heartless to leave her when I know she’s in need of care and love

God– only I can give her what she needs

Me– but what if she’s not going to you for it.

God– she will when you get out of the way.

As you know I talk about my mother a lot. She doesn’t like me writing about her but I feel like it helps people. Of course I don’t let her read them. A writer vows to tell the truth at all times, so here’s my truth.

I’ve included a video to help you.

It’s the holidays, how many people are guilt tripped to do what they DON’T WANT.

Questions to ask yourself-

  1. What season am I in? A season of rest, work, or healing? Your priority isn’t to live for someone else but to live for God and what God has told you. So if your priority isn’t to please your mother or family right now, it’s important to set boundaries and not succumb to spending every second with them.
  2. Whenever someone ask you to do something, walk outside and ask yourself if it’s something you want to do or if God has called you to it?

How to Deal with Guilt-tripping mothers or people-

1. Do not submit to what they ask of you out of guilt!

2. Explain why you don’t want to do what they ask of you. Don’t get angry back, just explain.

3. Keep NOT SUBMITTING

4. Be able to have a real talk with them about how it makes you FEEL when they do specific things like give you the SILENT treatment. “It makes me feel guilty when you don’t talk to me, you have to tell me how you’re actually feeling, can you communicate honestly with me?”

5. ASK them what they are feeling. Even if they yell eventually they will break and tell you what they’re ACTUALLY GOING THROUGH. Maybe they are afraid of the unknown, they are unsure about their life right now, maybe they are scared of being unemployed right now, or they have personal fears they are not letting you know about. 

How people act towards you usually has nothing to do with you.

People have issues, people get triggered.

Now say out loud-

I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there’s no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

Things you NEED TO KNOW-

  1. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT IF someone is mad at you.
  2. If someone holds a grudge, it’s also not your fault. Because if you apologize, they may still hold that grudge.
  3. You are doing the BEST YOU CAN. Now it’s another issue if you never admit fault.
  4. YOU ARE NOT CREATED TO LIVE FOR or PLEASE YOUR MOTHER, FATHER, FRIEND or EVEN HUSBAND/WIFE! 
  5. There is a responsibility to TAKE CARE OF YOUR EMOTIONS or GO TO GOD for emotional support. Then there is going to people and telling them WHAT YOU NEED from them. 

a. For example I like to be loved this way- touch, texting, calling, gifts, spending time, etc.

b. Express what you need….I need alone time.

c. Ask what they need to feel loved.

6. COMMUNICATION IS EVERYTHING! And finally YOU CANNOT FULFILL EVERY DESIRE AND NEED SOMEONE HAS, only GOD can! Be okay releasing them to God for what only God can do for someone! 

Prayer- God today I release that person into your care and love. I cannot love them the way you can. I release all control of their heart to you. I release my anxieties to you as well. I am not in control. Only you can love them the way they need to be loved. It is NOT my responsibility to take care of them, it is yours God.

It’s important that you don’t become the person someone relies on all the time, because then you take the place of God in their lives.

Consider giving to this ministry this Christmas! That people may be set from from guilt and condemnation through the materials I produce on Spotify, this blog and digital content. Thank you!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

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https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien

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How To Break Unhealthy Cycle In Relationships

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It takes vulnerability to experience true love. It’s through telling someone how you actually feel and they respond with understanding that you experience unconditional love. Most people don’t share how they feel because they have been judged or rejected for expressing their feelings.

1. Be vulnerable- tell people how you actually feel.

2. Write down the patterns in your relationships

3. Address the patterns with the people and act counter the patterns, setting boundaries and asking for what it is you need and being vulnerable about your triggers and history.

Here’s mine-

A. 🙏 Friendships- in the past I was always just someone’s go to for emotional and spiritual help. I also gave rides to everyone when I had a car. I was exhausted from helping people.

There was usually a disparity between how much I gave and how much I received (not that relationships is about measurement).

I walked in faith, hosting events, etc but didn’t know how to ask for help. In essence I could have but I didn’t think anyone would help me.

It could be as simple as going out with friends and not being able to pay for meals, God has taught me even to ask strangers for help now…It’s still not easy, but in the past I’d pretend I was okay and I’d charge it on my credit card.

Of course God has told me not to worry about debt because He has already taken care of them.

Because He knows what we can handle. It takes steps of faith to speak up. I maxed out a credit card to start self employment and I maxed out credit cards to start my ministry. That was what God told me to do and that was the amount of faith and courage I could handle at the time. But yes it was scary to trust that God would someday pay it off for me.

Then the next step was in my faith walk was to come out and tell people what I was doing in my ministry, basically to start a ministry.

I knew it would come with persecution. But people also supported me.

❤️ In essence, what I told you is the same as opening your heart.

1. There’s hurt, but you don’t know how to speak up about it.

2. You learn to speak up about it but you’re met with criticism or rejection

3. You speak up about it but people love you nevertheless

4. Repeat (and that’s love for you!)

In relationships you have to know how to ask for help and give help.

But if you’ve had unhealthy patterns in your life, it takes time to reverse it. Or to wait for the people who are willing to love you for who you are.

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B. ❤️ Romantic Relationships

Marriage is similar to friendships.

1. Someone has to be humble enough to first express how they are feeling even if that means “look I am in a space of possibly being hurt by you”- basically saying “You have the power to hurt me”. That’s intense.

2. If no one is vulnerable it’s impossible to have a good marriage. But remember it’s a two-way street.

3. One person tries harder and harder to open the other person’s heart but it is a choice whether you want to open your heart, thus that relationship will most likely wither away unless the other party is willing to open up and share how they are feeling.

You deserve a vulnerable love.

You deserve someone who is emotionally available and who is willing to put in the work to be open with you.

It’s a choice whether someone wants to open their heart.

What’s the point of sitting next to someone and not knowing where they are emotionally. Physically present but mentally absent.

For me that was the worst nightmare.

Because I grew up with a mentally, physically and emotionally absent dad and a critical mother so my relationships reflected that.

And guess what- it took those relationships for me to see that it wasn’t what I wanted!

So what is it I want?

1. Friends that reach out and ask me how I am. And I’ll do the same.

2. A life partner that knows to reach out to me, that I don’t have to be the aggressor, which I often am in many areas of my life.

But that means I may have to learn how to be patient and wait for others to reach out to me.

Truth be told I don’t really have any patience.

My heart is more like an EMT, it knows where to go for help. It’s also an immediate safe place for others.

But I have to learn how to set boundaries and allow people to do the hard thing of reaching out or asking for help.

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You Are Loved. Period.

Prophetic word- LET GO of LOT so you can move forward!!!!!

5 Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. 6 But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together. 7 And quarreling arose between Abram’s herders and Lot’s. The Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land at that time.

8 So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. 9 Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”

Genesis 13

What breaks my heart for women, especially that I’ve been talking to….is that they allow the wrong people into their life and they think they are being loving by sacrificing their own time and energy to help them, but instead they are being completely drained! 

I had this belief that I had to help as many people as possible.

 

But I was wrong. So wrong. God taught me that I can’t throw my pearls to swine, and the reason I was getting unnecessarily persecuted was because I was trying to feed people that didn’t want to be fed. 

It’s hard because when you start to set boundaries you may fear losing a friend. Maybe they won’t want your help anymore, and that means you may not feel loved because they are not constantly asking you for help.

But your relationship shouldn’t be based on helping each other all the time, but on actual enjoyment. It’s like you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where you are drained and constantly weighed down, it should be based on enjoyment. Who wants to marry someone where you are constantly emotionally drained. 

You should be enjoying each others’ presence.

Are you enjoying God? Do you know God enjoys your presence? Do you enjoy your own presence? 

There is nothing more or less you can do for God to love you.

What is God like?

He loves you and cherishes you. He holds you when you are about to fall. He loves all unconditionally. His voice is the voice of desire, not the voice of guilt or obligation. I pray today you will receive the father’s love in a new way. 

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A picture from a train in New York

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When Life Disappoints- Look Up

from coming

“Oh this restaurant is packed” said the handsome man with white socks and sandal.

I mean those sandals, but anyhow he was cute. I suddenly felt light.

Then he walked around the restaurant and walked to his Asian girlfriend. Why do I note the race, I think he was filipino but I mean, I was another Asian girl.

I felt, a little bit depleted. It’s been a few weeks since I met a semi- nice guy but turned out he had issues. I have issues too, sure. But issues I did not want in a husband, so I knew he wasn’t my husband. 

But still, I was disappointed. 

And guess what? I applied for a reality show for dating, I thought, okay let me give it a try. It’s for next summer. I tried applying for it last summer but I was too late.

But God I might meet my husband before next summer right? Anyhow, let’s just try.

The reply was “oh we are looking for 30 and under”.

I thought, “holy crap, I’m too late, I am one year too late”. My mind started spinning, and all of those acting parts are looking for 30 and under. And my chin for some reason is growing. I accidentally opened up an old youtube video of me. 

I’m thinking “gosh I was so confident, what false confidence, I was totally lying”.

But oh I was so skinny and attractive. No lie, these are my thoughts and I know that these are the enemy’s words. But still I hear them, and then I get insecure.

When these situations in life happen you start shutting down, it’s like LEVEL 1 SHUT DOWN, 2, and so forth and before you know it you’re walking around Ross putting stuff in your cart, then throwing them out and not buying anything because it’s not REALLY something material you need but something emotional you’re looking for, and nothing IS RIGHT. And you just walked around for 1 hour looking for that emotional support.

So I finally went home and journaled.

I wrote down-

“God I feel like you don’t care about me”. 

I think when disappointments happen in life, you want “circumstances” to work out the way you want them to work out…..

  1. If only I’d find my life partner
  2. If only I get on this tv show
  3. If only I go to this new place

But those are lies….

Because God is enough for me.

“You know I love you…

You know I care about you.

You know you are the apple of my eye.

Let me romance you. 

I’m here for you. You’re not alone”.

I wrote “I saw a cute guy today, he smiled at me and it turns out he had a GF. When will it be my turn God”.

If I sound desperate maybe it’s because I waited a long ass time for a life partner. I’m even waiting to have sex.

Sometimes we look at life the wrong way. We think that life is about achieving an ultimate goal or getting something, even finding a life partner…but it’s about how we see ourselves. It is knowing how much God loves us as we are, right now (not tomorrow). 

THIS IS HOW I FEEL GOD. I’m disappointed ☹️ . But I’m going to trust that YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. I’m GOING to trust that you have the BEST IN MIND for me.

I had a dream I was carrying a backpack full of art supplies and these young people came to draw and use the tools I gave them.

Here it is….

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE NOT LACKING”.

“I closed the door because I want you to MOVE FORWARD- DON’T LOOK BACK” 

You are not excited for that because my grace is no longer on it. 

If I’m honest I was reading way too many websites of entrepreneurs that seemed WAY ahead of me, I was watching youtubes of prophets who had thousands of followers while I have like 25, but God bless those 25. It’s The Bex Show if you want to google it, I don’t have the strength to find it right now.

Wherever YOU ARE, you are enough. 

Don’t compare where you are with other people, that’ll only lead to depression (seriously).

Breathe in and out.

Cry if you have to.

You may not be in the same season as someone, but here’s what I know…..You are exactly where you need to be. 

“Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for His miraculous power constantly energizes you.” (Eph. 3:20, TPT)

If HE HAS CLOSED A DOOR IT MEANS A BETTER ONE IS GOING TO OPEN! 

Prophetic Word: November 14, 2019-

“MY CHILD It’s NOT OVER YET! The enemy has been fighting hard so you would be discouraged, the enemy wants you to focus on your circumstance but LOOK AT ME, focus your eyes on me. Don’t let your head spin, I am here protecting you, I have plans to flourish you, I have not forgotten you. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hey don’t look back anymore. Don’t even doubt that relationship. Go forward into my arms. Yes I know it’s hard to let go but I am enough for you. It’s time to move out. Do you know that I am enough for you? Will you trust me? My love is overpowering, overwhelming and more than enough.” 

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May this song bring comfort to your heart.