New conversation with God added-
God– she’s not your responsibility
Me– it feels really heartless to leave her when I know she’s in need of care and love
God– only I can give her what she needs
Me– but what if she’s not going to you for it.
God– she will when you get out of the way.
As you know I talk about my mother a lot. She doesn’t like me writing about her but I feel like it helps people. Of course I don’t let her read them. A writer vows to tell the truth at all times, so here’s my truth.
I’ve included a video to help you.
It’s the holidays, how many people are guilt tripped to do what they DON’T WANT.
Questions to ask yourself-
- What season am I in? A season of rest, work, or healing? Your priority isn’t to live for someone else but to live for God and what God has told you. So if your priority isn’t to please your mother or family right now, it’s important to set boundaries and not succumb to spending every second with them.
- Whenever someone ask you to do something, walk outside and ask yourself if it’s something you want to do or if God has called you to it?
How to Deal with Guilt-tripping mothers or people-
1. Do not submit to what they ask of you out of guilt!
2. Explain why you don’t want to do what they ask of you. Don’t get angry back, just explain.
3. Keep NOT SUBMITTING
4. Be able to have a real talk with them about how it makes you FEEL when they do specific things like give you the SILENT treatment. “It makes me feel guilty when you don’t talk to me, you have to tell me how you’re actually feeling, can you communicate honestly with me?”
5. ASK them what they are feeling. Even if they yell eventually they will break and tell you what they’re ACTUALLY GOING THROUGH. Maybe they are afraid of the unknown, they are unsure about their life right now, maybe they are scared of being unemployed right now, or they have personal fears they are not letting you know about.
How people act towards you usually has nothing to do with you.
People have issues, people get triggered.
Now say out loud-
I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there’s no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.
Things you NEED TO KNOW-
- It’s NOT YOUR FAULT IF someone is mad at you.
- If someone holds a grudge, it’s also not your fault. Because if you apologize, they may still hold that grudge.
- You are doing the BEST YOU CAN. Now it’s another issue if you never admit fault.
- YOU ARE NOT CREATED TO LIVE FOR or PLEASE YOUR MOTHER, FATHER, FRIEND or EVEN HUSBAND/WIFE!
- There is a responsibility to TAKE CARE OF YOUR EMOTIONS or GO TO GOD for emotional support. Then there is going to people and telling them WHAT YOU NEED from them.
a. For example I like to be loved this way- touch, texting, calling, gifts, spending time, etc.
b. Express what you need….I need alone time.
c. Ask what they need to feel loved.
6. COMMUNICATION IS EVERYTHING! And finally YOU CANNOT FULFILL EVERY DESIRE AND NEED SOMEONE HAS, only GOD can! Be okay releasing them to God for what only God can do for someone!
Prayer- God today I release that person into your care and love. I cannot love them the way you can. I release all control of their heart to you. I release my anxieties to you as well. I am not in control. Only you can love them the way they need to be loved. It is NOT my responsibility to take care of them, it is yours God.
It’s important that you don’t become the person someone relies on all the time, because then you take the place of God in their lives.
Consider giving to this ministry this Christmas! That people may be set from from guilt and condemnation through the materials I produce on Spotify, this blog and digital content. Thank you!
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien
https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien
Rebekka Lien 