What Is Happiness?

On By Rebekka LienIn faith6 Comments

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Catba Vietnam

10 years later I find myself sitting at the orthodontist and looks me straight in the eyes “wear your retainers 24/7”, I’m like are you serious? And then I get some hot cheetos, my favorite magnum ice cream and some horchata, none of which is that healthy, but enjoying these snacks while walking a mile home, I suddenly am filled with delight.

I was always easily amused growing up.

In fact, you could put me in my room and I’d play with my barbies with a whole day, making up stories and have them talk to each other. 

I could spend days on end imagining and living in my own world. I was happy.

Then all of a sudden, I found myself comparing my life with others. Well, they have a bigger house, oh I need a cell phone too? The truth was, I was already content because my mind was filled with fascinating delights. But as I got older, I started to see that “success”, you know by means of hustle was important to 99% of people. Though my mom encouraged the arts, teaching us piano, sending us to cello lessons, at the end of the month, the stress of bills seemed to outweigh the joy of creating.

I found myself wanting to help, to be independent. I worked all throughout college, my parents didn’t have to pay one cent of my college tuition. I climbed the corporate ladder, only to very fast, find out I hated it. And I hated structure because I needed my own space to create and to be myself. 

What frustrates me with human beings these days is that they see sitting at a desk, being unhappy a sign of productivity.

What frustrates me with human beings these days is that it never seems to be enough.

What frustrates me with human beings is that they (or I) often worry about tomorrow when today is just as beautiful and the human beings you love are right in front of you, while you are staring at your Iphone trying to figure out when your next client will call.

So in the midst of being a walking sage these days, I find myself saying hello to animals, plants, finding potholes, secret pathways, stairs, and I’m fascinated, I’m excited, I’m overwhelmed with the beauty that is all around me and I’m happy. 

What has it cost me to be happy?

  1. Getting rid of my car
  2. Not having a sim card
  3. Letting spirit lead.
  4. The need to control
  5. Having a lot of friends who don’t really know me.

It’s an act of returning to childlike joy, and though it cost me a great deal, reverting to who I am, a creative and joyful child, I am filled with the delight of God.

Prague: The Great

On By Rebekka LienIn solo travel, spirtual, travel, writerLeave a comment

Prague: 2014 

I rode a Euro Bus to Prague, this was an overnight bus from Berlin. We were startled by the bus as it jerked to avoid a ramp, the Polish girl next to me claimed that Polish drivers are reckless (as they get paid shit) and that the driver is probably drunk. I’m not scared. However, when we first got on the bus we were scared because there was the probability that the bus driver wouldn’t let us use the bathroom. I had to make this gesture of wiping my down there since the bathroom didn’t have toilet paper. The driver spoke no English and waved his hands “NO NO NO bathroom”. My bladder is my first concern when I get on buses that have no toilets. “Where am I going to pee?” is my first question when I board a bus.

I don’t drink liquids hours before a long bus ride…like in Thailand and Vietnma the buses don’t have toilets and you have to ask the bus driver to stop for a toilet break. Of course few people ask out of embarrassment.

I arrive around 5am in the morning, my 4 wheel duffel bag from Target reluctantly gets on a tram as I pull it with great difficulty (should have stuck with a backpack). Mind you, one of the zippers had already broken at my first destination (London).

The night is dark, and even though I often have doubts and fears, I have to get to the hostel first (this is my first instinct of survival when I’m traveling). A Czech lady helps me to the hostel, actually she walks me there. My first impression- a good one, they are kind here, they help strangers.

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Be willing to change

On By Rebekka LienIn forgiveness, philosophy, psychology, Relationships, self- reflection, self-helpLeave a comment

Be willing to change.

As I walk through this season of being with my mom, I am challenged with my ego, pride and hubris and am releasing the defensive mechanism I had for most of my life.

This defensive mechanism came from my need to protect my ego. To protect my core.

Her criticisms often made me feel unloved and not enough, never good enough.

As I grew in my spirituality I started to release old mentalities and thought patterns. I released things, attachment to the material world, the need to control…but as I spend time with her, I am reminded again of the not good enough monster. In addition, in my opened eyes of seeing her inability to release things like a table from 25-30 years ago, I am noticing why she is stuck.

But I also am challenged to love in a greater way, to love from a place of- I accept and love you as you are, not when you release these old wounds, but just as you are. I accept you even in your inability to love yourself or to see that not releasing past wounds hurts you.

Today after I washed my hair, my mom kept doting “dry your hair, dry your hair”. It really didn’t matter to me, I usually air dry it. But I replied after 30 minutes “okay I’m drying my hair because I love you”.

Perhaps that was my first training for my future marriage…something might not matter to me, but if it matters to someone you love, you may just do it out of love.

And instead of incurring more annoyance, I did it out of love for her, even though I could care less if my hair is dried.

So I suppose I am maturing. I used to blame her for many things, but now I’m learning that I must overcome the annoyances within me until her words becomes only a reflection of her own spirit, not mine. And in effect, I can love her just as she is, and allow that love to change her.

Hidden Gem of Malaysia- Melaka D’Riverside Inn

On By Rebekka LienIn travelLeave a comment

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“Malacca (also spelled Melaka) is a Malaysian state on the Malay Peninsula’s southwest coast. The capital, Malacca City, has a colonial past seen in its preserved town center, the site of 16th-century, Portuguese St. Paul’s Church. It’s also home to Christ Church, built by the Dutch in the 18th century and converted to the Anglican denomination under British rule in the 19th century.”- Google

Over the last month, I’ve been analyzing and regrouping what I want my website to be, I want to stay completely authentic to my vision because it is my business and life!

Well, when I was in Southeast Asia, I felt led to visit Malaysia after a month in Vietnam. I was at Hanoi at the moment and basically had nothing booked. I managed to be my own booking agent and found 2 flights connecting in Bangkok, which would save me approximately $50 since I was booking a day before. Here’s a tip, any flight coming out of Bangkok will be cheaper since Bangkok has such a large airport (flights are cheaper!). 

I spent a week in Kuala Lumpur at a bed and breakfast and proceeded to look up buses to the next city. I had never heard of Melaka, but the pictures looked old world, vintage. I was the only one in the van. I stayed at the most expensive hotel since I had nothing booked and really needed to recharge (after walking around the whole city with a broken luggage). Later, I remembered Discovery Cafe and Hostel, a bright dutch looking building. I walked over with my heavy backpack and I guess mentioned I had a blog, but TOTALLY forgot about it.

Anyways, the manager approached me and asked if I wanted to write about a new hotel they had opened up. IT WAS SUCH A GEM, with such love and history by the owner David.

D’Riverside Inn – click here to visit the site! 

 

This boutique hotel is a 3 level beauty tucked away just half a minute walk to the peaceful river of Melaka.

Why is this hotel different from any other? The colors are vibrant, every antique and vintage beauty is from David (the owner’s collection). The hotel has character, is built from the heart of the owner, and sparks nostalgia in any visitor’s hearts.

The color scheme is inspired by Greece with white, red and sky blue. In 1999, Discovery Hotel was a 3 story building with a cafe. An Aussie suggested “why not have rooms?”, from that day on, the business has expanded to hostels across the cafe, and of course D’Riverside Inn, the unique boutique it is today.

ROOMS- there are single bed rooms, duplexes that fit 1-6 people. There are only 9 hotel rooms in this boutique hotel and it is catered towards families, solo travelers, friends and colleagues. You can even book the WHOLE hotel if you have a company of people. The architecture of this hotel is meant to build community, friendship, and ease for travelers. The first floor is functional and easy for grandparents that have trouble climbing stairs. There is a cute garden on the top floor where I would write in my journal. 🙂

David is a self proclaimed china-man whose grandparents immigrated to Malaysia. He worked for a travel publisher for 18 years and came to love the world of travel. Not only is he owner of Discovery Cafe and Hotel, his business is a family one. I had the opportunity to stay at D’Riverside Inn for more than a week and felt like a queen in my own palace.

The staff also welcomed me with open arms. After traveling for two months already, I was worn out and felt home sick, but I regained energy and peace again in Melaka. In fact, I felt like I had been adopted to a Malaysia family. Some staff were from Philippines, some from various countries, but I always felt at home.

Below: These amazing rides that takes you around town and plays any music you want. 2. Dancing with ladies at a temple. 3. Eating with the family, did I mention MALAYSIAN FOOD IS AWESOME?!!!! THE FOOD IS RIDICULOUSLY GOOD. Seafood especially.

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Christ Church

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Beautiful Mosque by the sea

Visit the website at http://www.d-riversideinn.com/

https://www.facebook.com/driversideinn/

 

 

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I am completely overtaken with love.

This time I feel possessed with the spirit, captured, drunken with love. I was so heavy with burden, laden with grief, like a widow who lost her husband, her kids.

I cried in comedies even. I finally understand my journey and why I went through such a wilderness. The last two nights I felt a passion and courage I’ve never felt before.

I felt a joy I haven’t felt in ages, I am standing up on the inside, I am dancing on the outside. I am high off of spirit and I’m burdened with love and there is something I’m imparting soon. I am focused, no longer distracted with other peoples’ fears.

Where the spirit is there is liberty. So I was purified of fear, because spirit cannot overtake you if fear is within you. But when spirit overtakes you, it is no longer you dancing, it is spirit dancing, it is spirit writing, it is spirit speaking through you.

That’s why they say the greatest talents on earth are godlike, because God has overtaken their abilities and it is no longer striving, it is being, resting in spirit of God.

Put Your Dreams First Not The HOW

On By Rebekka LienIn entrepreneur, UncategorizedLeave a comment

   
My analysis of faith

 I am releasing faith today. 

Those of you who know me have always known that I put the dream first, not the how. 

Because of this, I rely heavily on faith. 

Not on my own ability. 

And miracles have conspired to help me. 

Resting in grace is for the brave.

I never thought I would have the opportunities I have today, getting on tv shows, traveling, writing, everything I love doing. And to be honest, it never manifested because of one big break….

I just believed I could live that way without being a slave to the system of work.

Today I’ve untangled myself from the needs of western society, you know the propaganda of the american Dream, white picket fence and 2.5 kids….I want marriage, I want kids, but that doesn’t have to look like the jonnesses. I haven’t had a car, one apartment, laptop for one year. I’ve been SIM card less for almost 3 months. 

Before I feared that I’d miss a call from my agent or casting directors but today I know if it’s for me, it’ll reach me without me having to be on my phone 24/7. 

Setting healthy boundaries on love. 

I get to live the way I want because it’s my life. So that means traveling with family, working from home, relaxing when most of society is striving under the lie of not being enough, helping the world by empowering people with stories of hope….

I thank God everyday. 

My Job As An Artist

On By Rebekka LienIn art, travel2 Comments

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My job as an artist, a prophet sent by God, born of flesh, but spirit still, my job is to tell the times, to express, to reveal the secrets of God, to color and draw the signs of heaven, to break barriers, cultures, my job as an artist is to be totally authentic and vulnerable.

My job is not to conform, but to be open to rejection….

Because I am already accepted by God. 

My job is to not compromise, my job is to listen carefully and pay attention to the dreams I have every single night. Some are disturbing, some revealing, some prophetic.

My job as an artist is not always welcome, as I am blunt and I sometimes reveal truths people don’t want to hear. I observe and reveal the areas of shame that needs to be healed, I am often rejected by human beings, that have not space to beckon in prophetic truth. Some people make up emails just to write hateful comments.

I opened up a box of journals, about 50 today.

As a teen, I wrote “I must not care about what people think”. I looked in the mirror “I love you”, said it a few times, could hardly feel it, but I am on that path…of authentically loving every part of myself. I am learning to be loving on myself, not hard.

I have been called to tell my story, and slowly I am finding strength to, because behind every artist and entrepreneur is a hard story.

Perhaps, I have already written bits and pieces and I’ll begin today with: The worse thing was the best thing that happened in my life. I ended a long term relationship, lost 3 of my best friends to differences in values, my life had fallen apart, but it was God’s grace after all. Because if I had kept going….living on the trajectory of “false success” that I was on, I would have been miserable. And I was.

Deep down, I had already become someone else to be with someone that didn’t love ALL of me- this was including my faith. My best friends didn’t truly believe in my vision, and the backhanded remarks like “you chose this path”, hurt me deeply.

Because the truth is, I couldn’t choose any other path anymore, it was death to my soul if I had continued conforming, living a lie, pretending that I wanted what everyone else wanted, pretending that as long as I was “independent” and had the car, house, token boyfriend, that my life was okay.

I was dying, slowly, an artist’s death- that is to compromise your values, your heart, your authenticity for the sake of reputation, money, stability…even if I was in a reputable industry, at that time, real estate, it was still a backup.

I needed to throw myself 100% into my passion, my creative passions, my love for art, for music, for writing, for speaking, for expressing my vulnerabilities, for telling my story so I could help others overcome.

I remember saying to myself “I will do anything for this vision, I will follow you anywhere Jesus, I will NO LONGER compromise my heart or who I am for the sake of survival, I will starve, I will be homeless, I will do anything it takes”. I no longer had a plan b, I refused to, because I knew it would always be based on fear.

I’ve been close to death, well you can count food poisoning in the Galapagos, when I was lying on a bed by myself, I have been close to being stranded on an island by myself, but God never fails. God always showed up.

 

 

I Am That I Am.

On By Rebekka LienIn God, love, UncategorizedLeave a comment

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I am that I am. Higher than your thoughts.

I am that I am, defender of the weak, defender of the broken.

I am that I am, more than the voices that taunt at your vision of who you are, I am your protector.

You are not your accomplishments, your title, your clothes, your face, your personality, your accolades, your mean spirited words, your goodness, your relationship status, you are a spirit being. You are not your fame, your likes, your statuses, your golden watch, even your most simplified truths. You are a spiritual force that desires to overcome the words that true to define who you are.

You are not your ego, your abilities, your talents, your smartness, your beauty, you are transcendent.

God bless your going and rising, your rushing and striving, but let Spirit meet you in the secret place, where silence is enough, and you get to radiate light while light illuminates your countenance. Where your very presence and being is enough for the God who created you. 

I have come to know you in my dreams, you reveal my deepest fears, and overcome them with only a spoken knowing.

 

Living MY Life

On By Rebekka LienIn Uncategorized1 Comment

Hmmm how can I say this, it’s been a contemplative month since I’ve come back from traveling. I’m coming into my own and seeing the light in me. It’s brighter than I’ve ever felt it.

I used to go to these fancy events and felt less than, as though I had to prove myself and yesterday I really felt my light shine. I remember this one guy who was so intrigued by my lifestyle, kept asking me questions, which is all good, but you can’t get to know me in a few minutes. The words that came out of my mouth was new, fresh. Because I usually don’t even talk out loud unless I have to, unless I am speaking with purpose.

He asked for my social media following, my blog subscribers, facebook, and yes, I quoted them, hmmm well 1k for instagram isn’t so high…and I said “I’m about quality, not quantity…I’m not here looking for people to approve of me or what I have to say, I know what I have to give to the world is of value, I know who I am”. 

Then I had a conversation with an up and coming rapper about the same thing. I said “you gotta know who you are, you got to have a strong spiritual sense of self before you go out there, you gotta know that your worth does not come from someone in a corporation approving you”. 

In fact, I will say no to working with people who aren’t aligned with MY vision, it’s my life after all.