Category: faith

How To Break Unhealthy Cycle In Relationships

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, dream, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, Hollywood, jesus, marriage, Relationships, self-help, spirituality, therapy, travel, writerLeave a comment

photo-of-four-women-and-three-men-standing-on-bridge-1116300

It takes vulnerability to experience true love. It’s through telling someone how you actually feel and they respond with understanding that you experience unconditional love. Most people don’t share how they feel because they have been judged or rejected for expressing their feelings.

1. Be vulnerable- tell people how you actually feel.

2. Write down the patterns in your relationships

3. Address the patterns with the people and act counter the patterns, setting boundaries and asking for what it is you need and being vulnerable about your triggers and history.

Here’s mine-

A. 🙏 Friendships- in the past I was always just someone’s go to for emotional and spiritual help. I also gave rides to everyone when I had a car. I was exhausted from helping people.

There was usually a disparity between how much I gave and how much I received (not that relationships is about measurement).

I walked in faith, hosting events, etc but didn’t know how to ask for help. In essence I could have but I didn’t think anyone would help me.

It could be as simple as going out with friends and not being able to pay for meals, God has taught me even to ask strangers for help now…It’s still not easy, but in the past I’d pretend I was okay and I’d charge it on my credit card.

Of course God has told me not to worry about debt because He has already taken care of them.

Because He knows what we can handle. It takes steps of faith to speak up. I maxed out a credit card to start self employment and I maxed out credit cards to start my ministry. That was what God told me to do and that was the amount of faith and courage I could handle at the time. But yes it was scary to trust that God would someday pay it off for me.

Then the next step was in my faith walk was to come out and tell people what I was doing in my ministry, basically to start a ministry.

I knew it would come with persecution. But people also supported me.

❤️ In essence, what I told you is the same as opening your heart.

1. There’s hurt, but you don’t know how to speak up about it.

2. You learn to speak up about it but you’re met with criticism or rejection

3. You speak up about it but people love you nevertheless

4. Repeat (and that’s love for you!)

In relationships you have to know how to ask for help and give help.

But if you’ve had unhealthy patterns in your life, it takes time to reverse it. Or to wait for the people who are willing to love you for who you are.

man-and-woman-on-beach-during-sunset-1024963.jpg

B. ❤️ Romantic Relationships

Marriage is similar to friendships.

1. Someone has to be humble enough to first express how they are feeling even if that means “look I am in a space of possibly being hurt by you”- basically saying “You have the power to hurt me”. That’s intense.

2. If no one is vulnerable it’s impossible to have a good marriage. But remember it’s a two-way street.

3. One person tries harder and harder to open the other person’s heart but it is a choice whether you want to open your heart, thus that relationship will most likely wither away unless the other party is willing to open up and share how they are feeling.

You deserve a vulnerable love.

You deserve someone who is emotionally available and who is willing to put in the work to be open with you.

It’s a choice whether someone wants to open their heart.

What’s the point of sitting next to someone and not knowing where they are emotionally. Physically present but mentally absent.

For me that was the worst nightmare.

Because I grew up with a mentally, physically and emotionally absent dad and a critical mother so my relationships reflected that.

And guess what- it took those relationships for me to see that it wasn’t what I wanted!

So what is it I want?

1. Friends that reach out and ask me how I am. And I’ll do the same.

2. A life partner that knows to reach out to me, that I don’t have to be the aggressor, which I often am in many areas of my life.

But that means I may have to learn how to be patient and wait for others to reach out to me.

Truth be told I don’t really have any patience.

My heart is more like an EMT, it knows where to go for help. It’s also an immediate safe place for others.

But I have to learn how to set boundaries and allow people to do the hard thing of reaching out or asking for help.

Liked the article? Consider making a donation- thank you so much! 

Paypal

Venmo

Zelle- Rebekkalien@gmail.com

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

What Is Grace and Righteousness?

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, dream, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, law of attraction, Relationships, spirituality, Television, travel, writer

jesus-saves-neon-signage-1769691 (1)

Okay so recently I was hit with a lot of feelings of guilt or blaming others. It was either like I maybe did something wrong or someone did something wrong to make me feel this way. It was one after the other.

Last night I was driving my mom’s car and parked to eat my hamburger in front of Ross and someone hit my car from the back. I was shocked. 

I heard God say “let her go”. It turned out the girl was also Christian.

After I went home and told my mom, I thought “omg, did I do the right thing?” and then somehow my mom mentioned how she used to feel ashamed about something and then she mentioned how my relatives have been stalking me on facebook and basically were talking behind my back.

I was infuriated. I continued to have a dream where my mom was shaming me for not having a shirt on and all these church people were staring at me and I felt ashamed.

When my relatives went to my old house I started to tell them “you need to stop talking behind my back”.

So then my friend and I had a conversation today, she said “we are all sinners”. I said we are not sinners, we are righteous in God’s eyes.

That made me think.

How do I explain grace? 

Explaining grace in normal language. Your transformation isn’t from self conditioning or self striving or self control, it’s knowing you are righteous in God’s eyes and already accepted and perfect in His eyes because Jesus took on the punishments of your sin on the cross! So you’re not living as a slave asking God what should I do- you’re free to choose. And when you live your life from knowing you are 100% sinless and righteous in God’s eyes you are set free from a lot of bondages!

That is why after you are saved you should be focused on the fact that you are righteous in Christ Jesus and that the work of “trying to be enough” is finished on the cross.

Why does major “sins” still occur in your life?

I noticed I usually “sin” more when I start conditioning myself, or striving to be “perfect” instead of just accepting that I am righteous in God’s eyes. 

It’s when I keep asking God “should I do this or that?” as if God will punish me or not bless me if I do the wrong or right thing.

It’s when I “try to” be patient, try to be good, try to forgive, try to in my own flesh, versus just believing in God’s grace to give me the power to forgive….

And that is what living in the spirit is supposed to be- where you are flowing with the desires of your heart, freely living out your life from the inside out instead of always questioning “God is this the right thing to do?”

I CAN’T IN MY OWN FLESH OVERCOME ANY BONDAGES (whether it’s drug addiction, porn addiction, lying, cheating, murder, anger, deceit, etc)!!! It’s ONLY WHEN I PROCLAIM, GOD THROUGH GRACE ALONE! And I’m going to REST in your grace and power!

I’m going to STOP trying in my own flesh to be “good” because any effort from my flesh is USELESS!

Self-condemnation DOES NOT FREE YOU! It actually entraps you! Because then you are saying that through self-will you can break free of bondages! You’re wrong. It’s only by the supernatural grace and power of Jesus’ finished work on the cross.

You can’t TRY to be set free, you can’t TRY to love yourself.

You need to know it’s the GRACE of GOD that causes you to love yourself. When you’re faced with the truth that YOU ARE 100% SINLESS and UNBLEMISHED, you no longer have to make up for your wrongs, that the spirit of God goes to work to give you the desire and the action to live out a royal life. 

You get to live in freedom.

Another “guilt trip” I was going through is that I didn’t want to be at home too long when my mother was there because I felt like she always yelled at me or “guilt tripped” me so I didn’t feel peace being there for a long time (if she was there).

But then when I would come home late she’d say “why were you out so late?” and I’d get mad because then I’d felt bad that I didn’t spend time with her and I felt guilty for being out late.

So sometimes when I was out I’d ask God “should I go home?” and He’d be like “do you want to?”

We have to start living from a place of desire, not obligation or instruction. We have to start trusting the heart God gave us and know that we are filled with the Holy Spirit. 

The spirit of condemnation says “you have to try to be good or perfect” but “grace says you are already perfect because of Jesus’ sacrifice”.

GRACE is knowing that it’s NOT me in my flesh “trying” to be perfect, I am already perfect in God’s eyes. So if I’m not being forgiving, if I’m cussing someone out, I know I am still perfect in God’s eyes. Grace tells you who you are in Christ Jesus, perfect in God’s eyes.

Works says “you’re not enough” so you need to be “MORE forgiving or more gracious or more kind”.

WORKS tells you WHAT TO DO versus WHO YOU ARE, a son or daughter of God that is righteous in God’s eyes. Works judges you according to a standard of propriety. It’s like those Instagram posts that says “you should be kind”, well that’s actually a form of works. 

Condemning someone does not make them change, that’s only conditioning.

Grace gives someone the power to change because the spirit of God lives on the inside of them and they know they are no longer condemned but 100% forgiven in Christ Jesus.

Thanks for reading yall! Consider sowing a seed so I can eat and write!

Sow a Seed (make a donation)-
Thank you for your contribution- May Jesus multiply it!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

It is so relieving to admit, yes maybe I blabber too much, maybe I post all my dirty laundry, maybe I shouldn’t tell everyone my past, but the great thing is the more I boast in my weakness because God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness.

Hurray. I might not be qualified, I might be too much, I might be unprofessional, I might talk about poop too much, I might not wear makeup, I might wear pj’s in all my videos, I might not be a certain race-

But guess what the more I boast in Christ crucified. Christ in me, not me in me trying to be good. 

Hurray. I have no seminary education, I am not well verse, my hair is dirty right now, but the more Christ in me magnified.

Not because I have perfect appearance or because I have a great history. God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.

HAHA I am wise only because Jesus speaks to me and I listen. I have no wisdom of my own. It is by grace alone.

Boast In Christ Alone

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, Hollywood, jesus, love, Relationships, spirituality, therapy, writerLeave a comment

I woke up at 4 am after having a dream where I paid $60 for a room and I shared it with 3 other people. 

The number 6 signifies weakness, man’s sin that separated us from God. 6 indicates man was created in Genesis 1:31 (on the 6th day). It represents man’s weakness.

The Lord started speaking through me as I created this video. I encourage you to watch or listen to the video as God spoke to me LOUD AND CLEAR.

The power of GRACE has nothing to do with you.
It has nothing to do with you qualifying yourself, or being good, or doing good things.

Paul murdered Christians! And God spoke to him, Paul had an encounter with God that transformed him! David also was a murderer, he killed a woman’s husband just to have her. You think that people in the Bible didn’t have issues???? Think again.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me

Grace is unmerited. It’s unearned.

I am reminded that people kept trying to disqualify me by saying I didn’t go to seminary or I wasn’t sent by a church but that’s grace, Paul was not qualified by his being a good person, he killed Christians previously. And all the more he boasted in Jesus when He encountered the unconditional forgiveness of God. He was powered by the Holy Spirit alone, not in his own adequacies, strengths or giftings.

I boast not in my resume.

I boast not in my family connection.

I boast not in my work experience.

I boast not in my credit score.

I boast not in what a good friend I am.

I boast not in my own abilities or talents.

I boast not in what I wear.

I boast not in what house or car I drive.

I boast not in my works.

I boast in Christ alone. 

 

Jesus did not ask the thief to come down the cross and repay everything he stole. The work of recompense was not the criminal’s work. 

But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
The work of recompense has been finished on the cross. So if anyone makes you feel guilty like you need to make up for the past, it is a lie. You cannot. And writing that made me realize that my dad cannot make up for the past, and I have to move on and seek that recompense from God. 
Then after making that video I fell asleep again and had a dream I opened this mirror and took out antifreeze to put on my teeth, but suddenly my teeth started falling and I was freaking out.
Fortunately a man I was with, a comforter, I was lying on his shoulders-  started gluing it back but they were still falling out so a lady came and use supernatural glue to put my teeth back.
I believe the man represents “man’s ways” and the lady represents the holy spirit.
In the dream I started shouting “I got my wisdom back!!!”
Then I woke up.
I think the devil had been trying really hard to make me feel ashamed about my life situation, how I am living with my mother right now (as God has ordained for me to do right now), how I am driving her car (and I really hate it), and I was comparing myself to others that seemed more successful.
And then I got a smack in my spiritual face (HEY CHRIST ALONE, BOAST IN NOTHING ELSE!)
My identity is not in my life’s circumstance.
My identity is BEING A CHILD OF GOD. AND THAT IS HUGE.
THE GOD OF THIS UNIVERSE LOVES ME.
That is everything. I am redeemed by the Lord. I am loved by the Lord. You don’t have “nothing”, you have EVERYTHING when you are God’s child. You are a prince, a queen, a heir! 
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9
When I was on the road in New Zealand with $5 it was hard to not think that “I had nothing”- God was instilling in me “You are my messenger, you are saved by the blood of Jesus, you have everything, you have the living Christ on the inside of you”.
You have the healing power to heal all sickness and disease.
You have all riches in Christ Jesus according to His riches in glory.
You have the power of the blood to conquer demons, fear, anxiety and depression.
You have the knowledge of being a child of God, protected by the Father, you are not an orphan.
No matter where you go, you are protected by God’s angels in all corners of the world.
Jesus has triumphed death on the cross for you so you have eternal life.
You have a comforter named the Holy Spirit that when you are heart broken you can turn to Him.
You have a God who leads you no matter what circumstances you are in. The voice of God will lead you to where you need to go.
You have divine knowledge about the world around you.
YOU HAVE DOMINION OVER EVERY ATMOSPHERE around you. EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING ON AROUND YOU YOU CAN PRAY OVER. If there is a man possessed, you can cast out that demon.
One time I was in Fiji and a man was talking to himself. I went over and cast out the spirit of lack. Immediately he talked like a normal person and asked if he could carry my bags. 
You are whole in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, which means you are NOT LACKING in anyway! You don’t need to do better or be better, you are already the best in God’s eyes.
Everything is spiritual on this earth. Every conflict, fight has to do with “a spirit of lack” that tries to make humans feel less than. The devil will come to attack your mind but claim the blood of Jesus over you.

Sow a Seed (make a donation)-
Thank you for your contribution- May Jesus multiply it!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Podcast 

Youtube

 

 

You Are Loved. Period.

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, dating, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, Hollywood, jesus, lifecoach, lifehack, love, marriage, self-help, travel, writerLeave a comment

Prophetic word- LET GO of LOT so you can move forward!!!!!

5 Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. 6 But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together. 7 And quarreling arose between Abram’s herders and Lot’s. The Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land at that time.

8 So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. 9 Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”

Genesis 13

What breaks my heart for women, especially that I’ve been talking to….is that they allow the wrong people into their life and they think they are being loving by sacrificing their own time and energy to help them, but instead they are being completely drained! 

I had this belief that I had to help as many people as possible.

 

But I was wrong. So wrong. God taught me that I can’t throw my pearls to swine, and the reason I was getting unnecessarily persecuted was because I was trying to feed people that didn’t want to be fed. 

It’s hard because when you start to set boundaries you may fear losing a friend. Maybe they won’t want your help anymore, and that means you may not feel loved because they are not constantly asking you for help.

But your relationship shouldn’t be based on helping each other all the time, but on actual enjoyment. It’s like you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where you are drained and constantly weighed down, it should be based on enjoyment. Who wants to marry someone where you are constantly emotionally drained. 

You should be enjoying each others’ presence.

Are you enjoying God? Do you know God enjoys your presence? Do you enjoy your own presence? 

There is nothing more or less you can do for God to love you.

What is God like?

He loves you and cherishes you. He holds you when you are about to fall. He loves all unconditionally. His voice is the voice of desire, not the voice of guilt or obligation. I pray today you will receive the father’s love in a new way. 

IMG_2205

A picture from a train in New York

Subscribe: The Bex Show Youtube

Sow a Seed (make a donation)-
Thank you for your contribution- May Jesus multiply it!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

 

When Life Disappoints- Look Up

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, dream, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, jesus, lifehack, love, Relationships, travel, writerLeave a comment

from coming

“Oh this restaurant is packed” said the handsome man with white socks and sandal.

I mean those sandals, but anyhow he was cute. I suddenly felt light.

Then he walked around the restaurant and walked to his Asian girlfriend. Why do I note the race, I think he was filipino but I mean, I was another Asian girl.

I felt, a little bit depleted. It’s been a few weeks since I met a semi- nice guy but turned out he had issues. I have issues too, sure. But issues I did not want in a husband, so I knew he wasn’t my husband. 

But still, I was disappointed. 

And guess what? I applied for a reality show for dating, I thought, okay let me give it a try. It’s for next summer. I tried applying for it last summer but I was too late.

But God I might meet my husband before next summer right? Anyhow, let’s just try.

The reply was “oh we are looking for 30 and under”.

I thought, “holy crap, I’m too late, I am one year too late”. My mind started spinning, and all of those acting parts are looking for 30 and under. And my chin for some reason is growing. I accidentally opened up an old youtube video of me. 

I’m thinking “gosh I was so confident, what false confidence, I was totally lying”.

But oh I was so skinny and attractive. No lie, these are my thoughts and I know that these are the enemy’s words. But still I hear them, and then I get insecure.

When these situations in life happen you start shutting down, it’s like LEVEL 1 SHUT DOWN, 2, and so forth and before you know it you’re walking around Ross putting stuff in your cart, then throwing them out and not buying anything because it’s not REALLY something material you need but something emotional you’re looking for, and nothing IS RIGHT. And you just walked around for 1 hour looking for that emotional support.

So I finally went home and journaled.

I wrote down-

“God I feel like you don’t care about me”. 

I think when disappointments happen in life, you want “circumstances” to work out the way you want them to work out…..

  1. If only I’d find my life partner
  2. If only I get on this tv show
  3. If only I go to this new place

But those are lies….

Because God is enough for me.

“You know I love you…

You know I care about you.

You know you are the apple of my eye.

Let me romance you. 

I’m here for you. You’re not alone”.

I wrote “I saw a cute guy today, he smiled at me and it turns out he had a GF. When will it be my turn God”.

If I sound desperate maybe it’s because I waited a long ass time for a life partner. I’m even waiting to have sex.

Sometimes we look at life the wrong way. We think that life is about achieving an ultimate goal or getting something, even finding a life partner…but it’s about how we see ourselves. It is knowing how much God loves us as we are, right now (not tomorrow). 

THIS IS HOW I FEEL GOD. I’m disappointed ☹️ . But I’m going to trust that YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. I’m GOING to trust that you have the BEST IN MIND for me.

I had a dream I was carrying a backpack full of art supplies and these young people came to draw and use the tools I gave them.

Here it is….

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE ENOUGH”. 

“YOU ARE NOT LACKING”.

“I closed the door because I want you to MOVE FORWARD- DON’T LOOK BACK” 

You are not excited for that because my grace is no longer on it. 

If I’m honest I was reading way too many websites of entrepreneurs that seemed WAY ahead of me, I was watching youtubes of prophets who had thousands of followers while I have like 25, but God bless those 25. It’s The Bex Show if you want to google it, I don’t have the strength to find it right now.

Wherever YOU ARE, you are enough. 

Don’t compare where you are with other people, that’ll only lead to depression (seriously).

Breathe in and out.

Cry if you have to.

You may not be in the same season as someone, but here’s what I know…..You are exactly where you need to be. 

“Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for His miraculous power constantly energizes you.” (Eph. 3:20, TPT)

If HE HAS CLOSED A DOOR IT MEANS A BETTER ONE IS GOING TO OPEN! 

Prophetic Word: November 14, 2019-

“MY CHILD It’s NOT OVER YET! The enemy has been fighting hard so you would be discouraged, the enemy wants you to focus on your circumstance but LOOK AT ME, focus your eyes on me. Don’t let your head spin, I am here protecting you, I have plans to flourish you, I have not forgotten you. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hey don’t look back anymore. Don’t even doubt that relationship. Go forward into my arms. Yes I know it’s hard to let go but I am enough for you. It’s time to move out. Do you know that I am enough for you? Will you trust me? My love is overpowering, overwhelming and more than enough.” 

Sow a Seed (make a donation)-
Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes.

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

YOU ARE ENOUGH NEW PODCAST

Book A Mobile Coaching Session 

May this song bring comfort to your heart.

Healing The Father Wound

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, dating, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, lawofattraction, lifecoach, love, nye, Relationships, spirituality, therapy, travel, writerLeave a comment

image0

Me in Hamburg, Germany

How long since I actually took a nap?

Since I lay down here, and just relaxed, and let go, and just be.

It’s been awhile. I felt strange, I got a headache.

I took a nap. I woke up feeling depressed and hungry. I was thinking about the mediocre Mac and cheese from Sprouts. I didn’t really have an appetite. I decided to call a friend after crying. I started weeping while telling her that I still felt a lot of sadness towards accepting that my dad will never be what I want him to be. My friend said it’s actually the same thing as grieving a death. But it’s worse because that person actually have a choice to reciprocate love.

My realization-

“God what I want is a relationship with my dad, and that’s one thing I want and I can’t have it. I pursue it, but nothing. I’m cut off. He’s unable to have an emotional connection”. He is an alcoholic. Instead of confronting, speaking up he turns to alcohol. He lives on the other side of the world in Taiwan.

My whole life I shut down my heart, I didn’t know how to address it. I would suddenly detach myself from people and want to be alone. I’d want alone time because it was safer to be alone than to be hurt by someone.

I’d have a huge desire for emotional intimacy. I’d meet someone I really like but then if I knew he wasn’t it, I’d disappear, they would also disappear. We’d knew how to cut each other out of our lives, but there was no acknowledgement, I didn’t know how to talk through it.

I attracted men who were emotionally and physically absent….men I could not be in relationships with, men who I met ten thousand miles away that I would need to say goodbye to when I had to get on another flight.

It was too hard to face the pain of a possible connection, then ending that connection.

I felt immense emotions, I loved the initial high. I loved the romance and sure I’d get sad when I had to leave to another city, but at least I was safe from intense pain. I was safe from connecting long term and disconnecting. 

I knew that none of them were my husband.

But that was my process. God had to heal me and it’s taken 31 years of my life. I was that little girl in a corner, playing by herself in kindergarten. I felt unwanted by my father. I felt abandoned and rejected.

This season God has been breaking open my heart and healing every wound…by bringing me to a place of vulnerability where I can open my heart up to people. These people are also going through the same thing. 

These are people who will love me for who I truly am.

And that means I am completely open and vulnerable with you too. Whoever you are. I am speaking to you.

It’s not easy to open your heart but it is the most fulfilling thing you’ll ever experience in your life. 

Nothing else matters, no house, no car, no material possession, no accomplishment…

You can win the Emmy’s and have no one to cry with.

I am so happy I have people to cry with, people who I can be completely honest with. I’m grateful I can tell them “when you did this, it hurt” and I’m grateful that I can admit that I’m scared, angry, lonely, sad to them.

I’m glad I can talk about Jesus and penises all in one conversation. I can be completely honest and not have to censor myself to one topic. It is merging our faith with our humanity that truly makes us human.

I’ve been trying to figure out the future, trying to do instead of be because I didn’t want to face the emotional pain in my heart.

It hurts that my dad has no capacity of being in relationship with me.

It hurts that I have to go back to Taiwan to even talk to him.

But thank you God for healing this pain in my heart. Thank you that I am moving forward, I’m facing the pain and understanding the patterns in my heart that prevents me from wanting to be vulnerable and honest with people.

image1

One of my best friends in Kindergarten

Now I’d like to be myself and know that people will not reject me. I have those people now. I won’t hide underneath the guise of people pleasing anymore because God has given me courage to speak my truth, even if others are offended by it. 

Sure, I was persecuted and I offended people when I was ministering on the road, but it’s given me the courage and strength to always speak my truth no matter what the reactions are. 

It is harder to speak your truth to people you are close to than strangers, because you face the risk of losing them.

But maybe those who can’t take the truth are not really your friends.

I kept thinking God what should I do…instead of facing my emotions. It’s easier to be busy than to be vulnerable with God (and people).

God that’s the only thing I want. I want to be naked emotionally and unashamed, like Adam and Eve before sin entered the world.

He has been preparing me for marriage and it’s HARD! REALLY HARD, this process is exposing me so much. But I’m ready, I’m so ready.

Marriage is not just about finding someone you love but being able to be emotionally vulnerable with our life partner. Are you speaking your truth to those around you now? Your friends and family? 

Sow a Seed (make a donation)-
Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes.

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

YOU ARE ENOUGH NEW PODCAST

Book A Mobile Coaching Session 

 

Prophetic Word- New Garments of Praise

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, lifecoach, love, relationship, Relationships, spirituality, travel, writerLeave a comment

1. PROPHETIC WORD AND PRAYER – TRUST YOUR HEART.
DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS! It may mean you have no one to hold when you feel alone but GO TO GOD. Don’t have a backup plan for your life. Don’t have plan B or a side chick/some dude who is NOT YOUR LIFE PARTNER! BLOCK, DELETE!

JUST BECAUSE IT’S AN OPTION OR AVAILABLE TO USE DOES NOT MEAN YOU NEED TO USE IT!

“Even if you washed the car and gas-ed up the car” it’s still an OLD CAR. Maybe you have been trying to HELP your second best be his/her best but it’s STILL not YOUR best, it’s still the OLD.

Don’t SETTLE FOR LESS, it may mean you have to WAIT for the best!
Don’t SETTLE! It may mean you won’t have a car to drive, but go with your heart’s desires, not what’s AVAILABLE! OMG.

Just because a man/woman is available to you and single, does not MEAN YOU NEED TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM AND BE DRAINED OF YOUR ENERGY!

YOU KNOW YOUR HEART, you don’t need someone to validate you. Another prophet may even speak over you but you need to discern whether that is actually for you.

 

2. Prophetic word- it’s time to trade your garment of mourning for the garment of praise! Don’t pick up old clothes anymore.

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.

Isaiah 61:3

After I wrote the last post I had several dreams. I had one dream where I held a cute baby and then it turned to a man. However I found out the baby was being operated by a woman.

When I was holding the baby I saw people dancing but I felt comfortable sitting and holding the baby so I did not get up.

In another dream I was going to a thrift shop and I picked up a shirt I donated and asked if I could borrow it and return it.

It’s been a transitional season and I’ve gotten prophetic words from people but sometimes it can differ a little bit from what I’m feeling or hearing. It may bring confusion to my heart but when I really sit down and ask God I sense this.

It’s time to trade your season of mourning to praise.

 

To pick up and get off your feet.

 

To strike the ground and not sit in fear anymore.

 

To work the ground because the harvest is coming.

 

Do not lament anymore, it’s time to be excited for what’s to come.

 

God gave me those dreams after I wrote the previous one. He told me to go back to sleep as there were more dreams.

 

Don’t pick up old mentalities and ideas anymore.

Don’t pick up the past anymore.

 

Move forward.

GIVE TO Set Free Ministries-
Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes.

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

YOU ARE ENOUGH NEW PODCAST

Book A Mobile Coaching Session 

Subscribe- www.Rebekkalien.com

How To Overcome Addiction

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, dating, faith, God, healing, Hollywood, jesus, lifehack, love, meditation, relationship, Relationships, spirituality, therapy, travel, writerLeave a comment

All pornography, drug, alcohol, sex, food, cutting, workaholic, hoarding, overachieving, self-harm, masturbation, even “self-help” addictions come from a desire for emotional connection. Because when we are shamed or guilt tripped for being our imperfect selves, we try to find comfort in something else. Everyone is just looking for love.

And a lot of it comes from neglect and lack of love.

Why don’t you come out of hiding and be who you really are? And let the ones that will love you for who you are, love you completely. 

The first step to healing is exposing and speaking the pain. Admitting that you need help, and then asking for help.

This is the season God is bringing us out of emotional hiding.

God wants to heal your heart right now. He says you are enough in my eyes because of Jesus’ sacrifice. You are whole in my eyes because Jesus died on the cross for all of your sins.
You are set free by His grace.

Also a song from Holy Spirit- I’ve Set You Free To Love

GIVE TO THIS MINISTRY-
Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes.

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

YOU ARE ENOUGH NEW PODCAST

Book A Mobile Coaching Session 

Subscribe- www.Rebekkalien.com

Is He My Husband?

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, dating, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, jesus, lifecoach, love, spirituality, travel, writer

Just a random photo of dogs because I love dogs!

You’ve been heart broken, betrayed- I’ll mend your wounds.

I love you as you are, you are enough.

Your heart wants to go back but you know it’s like poison, there’s better.

When you wait for the best you’ll get the best.

You’ve waited a long time, wondering when, when you’ll meet the one, come I am your one.

I am your husband; I am your father; I am your protector. Do you not know I am here for you? Do you know I’ll whisper sweet nothings to you? Do you know you lack no one?

Jesus

Last night I had a dream my brother said I don’t like Korea and I said at least go to the Korean spa!

I was inside a house and I wanted to go out. The house represents my heart, I wanted to open my heart. A few weeks ago I met this man at the Korean spa. We liked each other but then I knew he wasn’t it.

I said that we could not be together.

Then God had me bump into him again. I was so mad. God you are seriously fucking with me (excuse my language).

I saw him with another woman and thought they were together so I hid. I ran. But then minutes later as I was calling my friend to tell her he said hey.

Wtf God???

I kind of made small talk, set boundaries and he ran off. Sort of. When he was walking away God told me to tell him how I felt.

Seriously God!!?

What’s the point. So I let him know I had to talk to him. He later called and I said- “God told me to tell you how I feel”.

And he replied that he had feelings for me too. That maybe we should hang out.

But then my heart felt better. I didn’t need to know what was next or maybe I would never see him again…

I didn’t realize I felt suffocated on the inside, I felt lack. I felt deprived and heart sick.

Even though he isn’t it, I said what I felt and it was liberating.

I am attractive, I am loved, I am beautiful. I felt that again. Because I felt repressed somehow. I wasn’t allowing myself to feel what I felt.

He might not be it and it may not go anywhere but why don’t you be real and honest? 

Prophetic Word for some who have had a desire to have more external stability-

God may be bringing your life into more external stability as He prepares you for marriage because the heart issues are TOO INTENSE of an UPHEAVAL for you to be dealing with moving around.
 
I know that is what He is bringing me into this SEASON.
 
MARRIAGE is around the corner as GOD OPENS YOUR HEART AND BRINGS YOU TO A PLACE OF VULNERABILITY with the people AROUND you.
You will need to BE HONEST AND OPEN WITH THOSE GOD IS having you BUILD with. 

GIVE TO THIS MINISTRY-

Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes. 

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

YOU ARE ENOUGH NEW PODCAST

Book A Mobile Coaching Session 

Stop Faking Fine- How To Be Yourself And Be Emotionally Vulnerable

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, lifecoach, prophetic word, relationship, spirituality, travel, writer

p1100382-e1334251049420

Adam and Eve were not ashamed. And they were naked. They were vulnerable, they did not know sin, they did not know shame.

But then sin came, oh no we’ve done something wrong, we have a fear of being judged. 

Today I realized that I was numb in my heart because I was suppressing feelings of pain. I felt pain because everytime I go to Taiwan I try to connect with my dad but then when I come back to America it’s a disconnect, it’s like I don’t even exist. Before I didn’t talk to or see my dad for 10 years. 

Brene Brown talks about how the most evasive betrayal is not cheating, but neglect. Neglect and the silence.

That disconnect created a pain in my heart that increased by the day, but I didn’t realize I was feeling this. So God brought father figure divine appointments into my life, some were in Mexico, some that I met in LA, some on the airplane. They were all male figures comforting my heart. God brought father figures throughout my whole life.

I felt more and more depressed as I lay there after watching a show’s live taping today.

The issues:

  1. A family that was searching for the grandma who abandoned her son. The son had depression and killed himself.

As I watched my heart started to feel immense pain and I started crying. 

Growing up I tried to be perfect in my mother’s eye, I didn’t want to be a burden as she was already stressed out as a single mother.

clown-stretching-his-mouth-3078402

So I became the model citizen. I got good grades, excelled in school, won awards, I was a first chair cellist, I was a youth leader, I was esteemed but deep down no one noticed I was actually depressed. I had a sorrow in my heart I could not express and no one asked.

I took care of my own emotional needs through achievement, busy-ness, and when I was tired of striving, masturbation.

Since I could not feel anything emotionally, and I did not want to feel pain I learned how to feel emotions through physical gratification. I was very young and often neglected by my mother, left alone at the age of 5 inside a house by myself. I found that I could grind on my pelvis and I would feel good.

Later my mother told me that she had to put me in a worker’s storage room so she could work and that from 0-1 years old I was raised by my nanny. I started to feel like a ghost, a living body with no soul. No one to connect to.

But when I was 12 years old I felt God’s love and accepted Jesus into my heart. I started to be guided by Him and I felt His love when I could feel nothing else. And yet….church was another thing, they encouraged PERFORMANCE over CONNECTION.

They encouraged us to perform, thinking that if we performed well people would see Jesus in us. They used theology, they used books, but what people really needed was to feel love. They used rules and regulations. There was no grace.

I felt unloved and more over, I was encouraged to PERFORM.

And so PERFORM I did. I performed and achieved in church.

And I was exhausted.

So striving became my default because when you’re busy there is no time to feel. And when you have no time to feel, you don’t have to feel the pain in your heart.  The world is that way, full of busy noises, always being entertained, always going somewhere, always achieving, full of noise. 

No one wants to feel pain.

Very few people are honest about what they’re feeling and more people are ashamed to be who they are fully. Maybe they’ll sit behind a screen and criticize other people online or they’d rather gossip than confront that person.

woman-with-blue-lips-on-body-of-water-2710063

And that’s the worse thing about some churches is that they shame people for being imperfect. 

A lot of churches don’t talk about issues like sex, masturbation, pornography, addictions, drugs, depression, sexuality in general. When I asked two female leaders at my church what sex felt like they said “we will tell you when you’re about to get married”.

One of my best girl friend found her dad’s sex tape one time and became a porn addict. She watched porn for 8 hours a day. She became self conscious and insecure about her looks.

Why should I be ashamed to be honest?

I have nothing to hide. I’ll say the words penis and vagina out loud, I will talk about whatever I want.

If you are fake your whole life you’ll never meet people who will love you for who you are.

I see tons of prophets who show forth an image of perfection like they have no problems, they smile and wear nice dresses. I’m so tired of fake people. 

God didn’t anoint me or choose me because I’m perfect. God chose me because I trust in His grace alone that made me whole.

The other day someone asked me “how do you know you are anointed”. I started to explain and stopped. “Why do I have to explain myself to you?”

I’m a recovering emotional detached person. I had shingles when I was 14 because I was stuffing all the stress inside my heart. I didn’t tell people about my single mother’s anger issue, my mother told me not to tell people my parents are divorced.

I became two-faced. I became the overachiever who took care of her own emotional needs. I read erotica to ease the pain in my heart or I gossiped about other people. Everyone came to me for help and I liked it. But I wasn’t loving myself, and I didn’t know how to ask for help.

bench-nature-love-people-50592

I dated a guy who was emotionally absent. He would disappear for days and I found myself having emotional affairs with other people. He didn’t want to get close to me emotionally so I found other avenues.

But I was also emotionally detached, because it was safe to be with another emotionally absent person. That way I wouldn’t get hurt right?

No, I did get hurt. Love is love, you’ll experience pain no matter what. Stop trying to be perfect. Open your heart and just TELL IT LIKE IT IS. You are sad, say it. You are angry, say it. You feel like someone is being fake, tell them. It’s blunt but it’s the truth and the truth will set you free, even if it’s harsh.

So how do I overcome emotional detachment in this season:

  1. Opening my heart and talking through the issues with my friend.
  2. Creating videos and talking about how I feel
  3. Writing
  4. Telling God how I feel.

And most of it is a lot of anger.

God why did you abandon me?

God why did you allow this to happen to me?

God why do I always become friends or chase people who don’t give back to me?

God help me break this negative cycle.

God help me to open my heart.

God help me to forgive.

God I can’t do this anymore. This heart thing.

What’s appropriate? What’s taboo? Why don’t you lift off the veil of pretend and try being honest? 

Are you tired of BS? Why don’t you be honest for twice in your life? 

GIVE TO THIS MINISTRY-

Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes. 

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

YOU ARE ENOUGH NEW PODCAST

Book A Mobile Coaching Session