Okay so recently I was hit with a lot of feelings of guilt or blaming others. It was either like I maybe did something wrong or someone did something wrong to make me feel this way. It was one after the other.
Last night I was driving my mom’s car and parked to eat my hamburger in front of Ross and someone hit my car from the back. I was shocked.
I heard God say “let her go”. It turned out the girl was also Christian.
After I went home and told my mom, I thought “omg, did I do the right thing?” and then somehow my mom mentioned how she used to feel ashamed about something and then she mentioned how my relatives have been stalking me on facebook and basically were talking behind my back.
I was infuriated. I continued to have a dream where my mom was shaming me for not having a shirt on and all these church people were staring at me and I felt ashamed.
When my relatives went to my old house I started to tell them “you need to stop talking behind my back”.
So then my friend and I had a conversation today, she said “we are all sinners”. I said we are not sinners, we are righteous in God’s eyes.
That made me think.
How do I explain grace?
Explaining grace in normal language. Your transformation isn’t from self conditioning or self striving or self control, it’s knowing you are righteous in God’s eyes and already accepted and perfect in His eyes because Jesus took on the punishments of your sin on the cross! So you’re not living as a slave asking God what should I do- you’re free to choose. And when you live your life from knowing you are 100% sinless and righteous in God’s eyes you are set free from a lot of bondages!
That is why after you are saved you should be focused on the fact that you are righteous in Christ Jesus and that the work of “trying to be enough” is finished on the cross.
Why does major “sins” still occur in your life?
I noticed I usually “sin” more when I start conditioning myself, or striving to be “perfect” instead of just accepting that I am righteous in God’s eyes.
It’s when I keep asking God “should I do this or that?” as if God will punish me or not bless me if I do the wrong or right thing.
It’s when I “try to” be patient, try to be good, try to forgive, try to in my own flesh, versus just believing in God’s grace to give me the power to forgive….
And that is what living in the spirit is supposed to be- where you are flowing with the desires of your heart, freely living out your life from the inside out instead of always questioning “God is this the right thing to do?”
I CAN’T IN MY OWN FLESH OVERCOME ANY BONDAGES (whether it’s drug addiction, porn addiction, lying, cheating, murder, anger, deceit, etc)!!! It’s ONLY WHEN I PROCLAIM, GOD THROUGH GRACE ALONE! And I’m going to REST in your grace and power!
I’m going to STOP trying in my own flesh to be “good” because any effort from my flesh is USELESS!
Self-condemnation DOES NOT FREE YOU! It actually entraps you! Because then you are saying that through self-will you can break free of bondages! You’re wrong. It’s only by the supernatural grace and power of Jesus’ finished work on the cross.
You can’t TRY to be set free, you can’t TRY to love yourself.
You need to know it’s the GRACE of GOD that causes you to love yourself. When you’re faced with the truth that YOU ARE 100% SINLESS and UNBLEMISHED, you no longer have to make up for your wrongs, that the spirit of God goes to work to give you the desire and the action to live out a royal life.
You get to live in freedom.
Another “guilt trip” I was going through is that I didn’t want to be at home too long when my mother was there because I felt like she always yelled at me or “guilt tripped” me so I didn’t feel peace being there for a long time (if she was there).
But then when I would come home late she’d say “why were you out so late?” and I’d get mad because then I’d felt bad that I didn’t spend time with her and I felt guilty for being out late.
So sometimes when I was out I’d ask God “should I go home?” and He’d be like “do you want to?”
We have to start living from a place of desire, not obligation or instruction. We have to start trusting the heart God gave us and know that we are filled with the Holy Spirit.
The spirit of condemnation says “you have to try to be good or perfect” but “grace says you are already perfect because of Jesus’ sacrifice”.
GRACE is knowing that it’s NOT me in my flesh “trying” to be perfect, I am already perfect in God’s eyes. So if I’m not being forgiving, if I’m cussing someone out, I know I am still perfect in God’s eyes. Grace tells you who you are in Christ Jesus, perfect in God’s eyes.
Works says “you’re not enough” so you need to be “MORE forgiving or more gracious or more kind”.
WORKS tells you WHAT TO DO versus WHO YOU ARE, a son or daughter of God that is righteous in God’s eyes. Works judges you according to a standard of propriety. It’s like those Instagram posts that says “you should be kind”, well that’s actually a form of works.
Condemning someone does not make them change, that’s only conditioning.
Grace gives someone the power to change because the spirit of God lives on the inside of them and they know they are no longer condemned but 100% forgiven in Christ Jesus.
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It is so relieving to admit, yes maybe I blabber too much, maybe I post all my dirty laundry, maybe I shouldn’t tell everyone my past, but the great thing is the more I boast in my weakness because God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness.
Hurray. I might not be qualified, I might be too much, I might be unprofessional, I might talk about poop too much, I might not wear makeup, I might wear pj’s in all my videos, I might not be a certain race-
But guess what the more I boast in Christ crucified. Christ in me, not me in me trying to be good.
Hurray. I have no seminary education, I am not well verse, my hair is dirty right now, but the more Christ in me magnified.
Not because I have perfect appearance or because I have a great history. God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.
HAHA I am wise only because Jesus speaks to me and I listen. I have no wisdom of my own. It is by grace alone.