Healing The Father Wound

I tried submitting this to a secular website but apparently writing anything about God is considered offensive, so I’m glad I have my own blog.

I’m learning more about what I want from a relationship with my life partner. I learned that a lot of my past relationships were formed out of brokenness in my heart. I was looking for attention, for validation. I needed and wanted someone to validate me- to tell me I am worthy of love.

But I realize a relationship that is based out of your relationship with Jesus, has no lack.

I don’t mean that is it perfect, no; I mean that there’s no need for codependency – which is what a lot of my past relationships looked like.

The guy had mommy issues and I had daddy issues. I was looking for a dad and he was looking for a mom.

A mom gives rides to boys, a mom cooks for their son, a mom comforts their son; I am not looking for a son, I’m looking for a man.

I also didn’t have the financial security of growing up with a father. In fact, I started working when I was 8 years old selling toys after school. I had an entrepreneurial spirit and knew how to make and save money. I soon only found self worth in finance and accomplishments. I also got a lot of attention from men so it was easy to be misled thinking attention was love.

From the age of 8 to 18 I didn’t see my dad. My family immigrated to America from Taiwan when I was 8. I completely lost contact with my dad except for the few times my mother asked me to email my dad for rent money.

When I was 12 years I received Jesus into my heart and found an incredible sacrificial love. This God who loved me could die for me? I wept in my chair at a church retreat. I could feel the tangible love of God in my heart.

But now only at the age of 31 am I feeling the fulfillment of all the healing that took place in my life.

I was really fucked up. Honestly.

I didn’t deserve to be there, that’s how I felt.

God started to show me who I am.

He told me that I am a child of God and that He died on the cross for me so I could attain a position as His daughter. He would never leave nor forsake me. I could handle that. That’s a promise I was willing to receive.

Since everyone had failed and forsaken me, I was willing to trust Him.

Almost 20 years later, I have never seen God fail me. Sure I lost a lot of friends and seen my lifetime of heart aches and heart breaks but He would always whisper, “I’m here, I’m here with you”.

Recently I had to set some boundaries with a guy I knew wasn’t quite it. I loved the companionship and the moments we had together, but I also knew that I wanted more. I don’t want someone I met for a week who doesn’t have the same calling and purpose in life. I want someone who hears God and obeys with me.

I want someone who can grow with me, follow the Spirit with me, not slow me down. I hate goodbyes but I often find myself saying hello and goodbye over and over again.

I’m ready to meet my lifetime partner. I know He won’t be Jesus. I know that we will fight and argue at times. I know he won’t fulfill all my hearts’ desires, but I know he isn’t supposed to.

But I know what I want now. I know what I deserve. I know I deserve the best, not an emotional or physically absent man. I know I deserve a man who will rock with me, go places with me, be by my side. I don’t want a man who I met overseas and does not have the same purpose in life. I don’t want an addition, I want a partner. I don’t want us to have contrasting careers, I want us to change and travel the world together. I want us to compliment in our purpose and destiny.

I want an emotionally, spiritually and physically present man.

It’s possible. Do you believe?

I believe. I hope you will walk this journey with me. Let’s believe together. Let’s not settle for less. Let’s believe for the best because we deserve it.

Consider sowing a seed into souls and into what God is doing through me to set captives free, proclaim the year of freedom and heal the sick. Thanks for your contribution and continual support and prayers to touch lives by the blood of Jesus!

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I’m currently in Thailand. God is calling me day by day so I have no idea where I’ll be but thank you to all who continue to give and pray for me. Your prayers and giving are much appreciated!

About Rebekka’s Ministry

In 2015 the Lord said I was a pastor to the lost sheep. I sold everything to follow Jesus. I got rid of my car and apartment to follow Jesus each day at a time and ended up returning home for 2 years. During that time the Lord trained me in rest. He said you are a child of God, First and foremost.

You are not defined by your career or your marriage status. You are not defined by how much you have but on who you are in Christ Jesus.

About my ministry-

Last year since July I spent one year on the road as the Holy Spirit Led, praying and prophesying over people. Some people I met were not Christians some were.

For the Christians I often prayed no condemnation over them and had to explain the grace of God as churches don’t teach grace, they often teach works.

God has called me to-

1. People who don’t go to church

2. Outcasts, artists, misfits, people who desire freedom and are not finding it in religion or society, I share about how Jesus came to free us not give us rules. I share the freeing grace of God to free them from death and fear!

3. Atheists, agnostics and nonchristians

4. Religious bond Christians that live under condemnation- my job is to break the spirit of condemnation and guilt as Jesus’ blood has paid for us to be free!

God calls me to –

1. Unlock the seeds of destinies and dreams in people. I prophesy dreams they’ve always dreamed of or don’t even know about yet! Most are too afraid to chase after their dreams, they don’t believe it can be done.

I’ve called people into starting ministries,writing books, starting businesses, playing music, becoming politicians, whatever I see in visions or whatever I hear God say I will release it to people. Sometimes I run after people in malls or on the streets if God says to do so.

I speak into people’s situations and give them God given solutions out of their stuck place.

Most are shocked at the accuracy and are grateful for an answer from heaven.

I also pastor them continually. Some people pastor people in a building, but I pastor people all around the world. I am building God’s church. We live in a big world where we can easily connect via the web. Praise God for that.

2. Help encourage and nurture the dreams God has called them to. Sometimes it takes years, sometimes the next month they listen to God and act upon the prophesied. If I hear God say something I will tell them.

3. Bring people to the knowledge of Jesus Christ and His saving grace. I have led many to Christ.

I am a prophet, apostle and evangelist. Sometimes I’m also a singer and creative, sometimes I’m a runner because I have to run to catch buses or flights.

More and more people are becoming interested in what I do as they discover that they are children of God and can live in the freedom God has for them.

I don’t go to church, I am the church. I am building the church around the world and am being led by the spirit as I prepare the world for Jesus’ return.

I’m a female version of Paul. I help people start their dreams and encourage them along the way. And I will go where the spirit leads me no matter the cost. I live out of a suitcase what can I say? There are key individuals that are open to Jesus, and God leads me to them.

Will you be part of this movement? Consider giving to this movement and seeing lives transformed. And know that when God leads I also pray and prophesy over my partners because you are part of the church. You are the arms and body, I’m the feet and mouth maybe.

But we are not apart from each other. We need each other more than ever.

And when you’re in need of prayer or help, do let me know. We are in it together.

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This family literally just came to me and asked to take photos with me. They are of the Jainism faith and I got to share Jesus with them. In India.

Prophetic Word- LAUNCH!

I feel very heavily in my spirit the word to launch. I’ve already launched and pioneered a ministry for over a year. I went through the quit my job, sell everything and follow Jesus phase but today God started to speak to me about peoples’ destinies and callings and I started messaging people what God was saying.

It was in addition to what I already told them.

Many of you have been in seasons of hiding and pain and you’re afraid to come out.

But God actually wants to use that pain to be glorified. Some of you He has called to write and speak about your experiences, no matter how traumatic they are.

If you’ve been through abortions, abuse, cheating, been the cheater, been in painful relationships, had miscarriages, lost a loved one, etc God wants you to speak about it. You’ve been judged? You’ve been in judgmental churches? You have felt shame, guilt and condemnation? Talk about it.

You’ve messed up and been on drugs, got off and went to rehab? Was in an abusive relationship?

By coming out you’ll be healed and so will thousands of others. God wants you to be free from your pain.

It’s your seed. Your ministry!

Are you ready??? Launch!

It’s time to let go of everything that sounds like plan b and go all in on the plan A God has called you to. That may mean quitting your job, moving or booking a one way flight. He’s got you!

It’s time to launch-

Sow a seed.

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Divine Appointment in Goa

Today I arrived in Goa and was feeling a bit worried about the future. See worry always robs us of our present.

But when I arrived to the guesthouse I decided to walk around and just heard God say “stay around here”. Remember every place I stay at is clearly pointed out by God. There is never one place I stay at where I pick it based on location or price, God always tells me exactly which one to pick because of the divine appointments there or nearby.

So I didn’t go far. I noticed a doubletree hotel and decided to go in and sit around. I also noticed a pool.

The night before I had a dream I was swimming and got out to shower but then fell back in the pool and was annoyed. I thought I should build the exit closer instead of having to swim and get wet again.

I also dreamed I dove deep and saw two seals except they were hairy men and they were being photographed. The dream was so vivid I woke up.

Anyways I went back to my guesthouse and after awhile felt like I should eat out. Once again I felt led to go back near doubletree hotel and felt led to eat at a restaurant nearby (like the dream where I go back to swim).

After I heard God say “get a drink”. I thought that’s strange I haven’t wanted to drink for so long. When I went to order a drink I saw the pool and decided that I had to swim, so I ran back to the guesthouse and changed. I ran back to doubletree for the 3rd time. I had just dyed my hair and didn’t want to get my hair wet the day before but there was a boldness in my spirit.

I talked to the pool attendant for awhile, revealing to him that I was not staying there.

Then I suddenly had the urge for chocolate cake. After some time one of the bartenders suggested I eat at the bar as there were too many mosquitoes.

This led me to eat at the bar and I started talking to the bartender.

“I see you traveling and going to London!” I said. A vision flashed before me.

He said he loves English people. He wants to get a brutish citizenship. I said anything is possible. We talked for about an hour or more and he said he was Muslim, I told him that Jesus loves Him and died on the cross for Him.

I also told him that he should write and start a blog as God showed me a vision of him writing.

I am amazed at how God leads me to the people that need a prophetic word and a touch from heaven.

I feel fresh courage today because to be honest I felt so much lack and intimidation the last few days. I had thoughts that slowed me down and made me afraid to speak my truth and prophesy over people.

Today I suddenly heard God clearer than ever and was not afraid.

Even if it’s God asking me to do strange things like ask for 5 rupees, which of course he didn’t have.

I said 5 is the number of grace, and explained grace to him.

Would you consider making a love offering to see More people come to Jesus?

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Partner With Me!

Hey friends!

Do my live videos and messages encourage and empower you? I need your help to continue doing this for you.

Consider sowing a seed into souls and into what God is doing through me to set captives free, proclaim the year of freedom and heal the sick. Thanks for your contribution and continual support and prayers to touch lives by the blood of Jesus!

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Another way to support is to buy a shirt, sweatshirt or tank top!

I have 1 order right now but need 4 more in order to even get them produced. I want to see my design produced.

Click here to order from all sizes, colors and styles. https://www.bonfire.com/you-are-enough-12/

1% of People Marry Their First Love

That’s what my friend said, to comfort me in my momentary despair.

I said “why do I have to meet guys who aren’t going to be my husband and then experience the heart break and pain? While I see people who just meet that one right person and seem to live happily ever after, or sure, with some issues in marriage”.

“There’s still some work to be done, deeper wounds that need to be healed” says another friend.

I’m 31. I don’t know how many more need to be healed but seems like an unending drama.

Like one of those dramas that are dragged on so that time can pass for no good reason but they have nothing to show on tv.

How come other people seem to have no issues….or maybe it’s just because they choose to settle for someone who has issues that they also have…and both refuse to heal or grow from it. Instead these couples live in their codependent miseries.

That really makes me feel better.

I am just choosing not to settle.

I could have settled with my ex, who was emotionally absent and had a wall that couldn’t be knocked down.

I could have settled for an alcoholic.

I could have settled for a selfish man.

So sure I see many who married and seem to have beautiful lives but who knows what’s behind the curtain? Most people don’t share their problems with the world. It’s better to smile for the camera and post a picture perfect marriage.

Well, my healing journey has not been easy. Having been single for 5 years the last year God gave me a dream where he showed me pictures of men like on tinder and said “get ready”.

Sure enough, the matches came.

But none were really it.

Something was always missing.

The main ingredient- an unfaltering and unwavering commitment to follow Jesus at any cost.

Sure I met good Christian men too, but they were half committed to Jesus. I would prophesy something over them and many of them are still where they are last year. I’m not saying they’re bad, I’m just saying I need to have the same level of faith with my hubby.

I can’t be dragged down trying to convince someone.

I met non Christian men too. But it was obvious their sole agenda was lust or longed for someone to fill the void that only Jesus could fill.

I healed from my issues and am still discovering if there are any more.

1. I had major trust issues because my dad cheated on my mom- God brought me people that were trustworthy and I realize men can be trusted, just need to be the right person.

2. My dad did not provide growing up and I realize that I want a man that loves to provide.

3. I cannot be with an alcoholic. I need someone who is completely filled with Jesus and His spirit.

4. Emotional vulnerability is key to the man I am supposed to be with. This man doesn’t just talk about work or how his day was but he talks about how he feels.

5. Honesty – I realize is everything and will break the thickest emotional wall.

Give a love offering or donate to support me in healing people on this earth-thank you!

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Testimony in Pune

Pune- testimony.

Yesterday God said you have to go to pune. This morning two hours before my train God said I have to catch the 12:10 one. A man gave me directions at the snack counter, in the same car, the man sat next to me. Crazy. On the train I prayed about where I should stay and found a few but one host’s name kept flashing in my mind. And a vision of twin beds that was in the room. Sure enough he accepted.

However he told me he was about to block out the dates because his caregiver had an emergency and had to leave so he wasn’t going to accept anymore guests. Somehow my booking came in and he accepted.

Two college age girls helped me get a cab and made sure I was okay. I told them Jesus loves them.

When I arrived the host said he gave me the room with a private bathroom since I’m a woman but a boy wanted my room. I asked to see his room (examining the soundproofing of the room) then met him.

Later I tried to book food on ubereats but failed and I heard God say “eat out”. At the same time the boy was going out to eat. I asked to come with.

During dinner the young man told me his dad is paralyzed. He told me this happened 5 years ago and that he was shot in the arm 3 years ago and he said that he saw his friend get shot when he was 12.

When I got back to the Airbnb I kept hearing God say “switch rooms with him”. I didn’t understand. But I remember God often spoke in symbolism. Then I knew I wasn’t finished.

I got to share my testimony with him. I shared how I never felt like I was enough for my mother but Jesus set me free to know I’m enough because of His finished work on the cross.

As I prayed over him I saw that he would punch a punching bag and it would hit him back. I also said he needed to forgive his dad. I said that he was enough and he’s done enough. He said karma.

I said Jesus came to give you grace and I explained why he has been forgiven for his sins and that Jesus took on the punishment. I asked if he wanted to have a relationship with Him but he said he had too many trust issues with religion as the hand life dealt him was shitty.

I said God sent me to let him know that He hasn’t forgotten him.

When the spirit leads, even if you run you run to your assignment.

Sow a seed- thank you!

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The Journey of Love

My heart feels numb, like it’s been pierced and it’s in shock.

I will start to write more openly about the process God is bringing me through. In the last year God has been speaking to me about meeting my husband soon but up until then He has been opening my heart to love. He’s brought men into my life, like how Tinder would bring dates, well God is also a matchmaker.

He brings people into our lives to heal us and open our hearts to love.

When we are alone, it’s safe and easy. We can be logical, we can be in control but when our hearts are involved it’s a risky business and it hurts.

We often think that God will just bring our husband and we never have to get hurt.

We think that we can live in the certainty of marriage but God wants you to risk your heart and trust Him.

Because love is a risky business.

So even if you know something will end, God may still encourage you to try. He told me I’d meet someone but I didn’t think it would be the first day in India.

We liked each other and laughed a lot but the day came where I knew I had to move on. In fact, love was present. We were mirrors to each other. We had mommy and daddy issues.

One day I went with him to a friend’s house. It was the daughter’s birthday and the dad lived elsewhere. I could sense that he probably had affairs.

I felt pain in my shoulder when I left.

I was sitting on a ledge and found myself having a physical and mental breakdown. I couldn’t move, my body felt heavy and I wanted to cry.

I started crying and felt better.

And then I realized the imaginary reminded me of my childhood. An absent father who cheated on my mom.

A deep wound was unveiled as i tried to understand it through tears.

He tried to be logical, tried to fix me and I shouted “can’t you just listen?” Adding a cuss word as well.

I told him what happened and he explained that he cried the other day as he missed me. I said sometimes I feel like there is a wall I cannot break through to him, and I realize with all my ex it was the same way. So with my dad.

My dad ran away from emotions by drinking. To this day, every time I think he’s opened up he disappears. He’s already disappeared in my life but even on social media messenger, he will be not be respondent.

God chooses people who have broken pasts and broken hearts to mend the world, He doesn’t choose perfect people. He chooses people who understand pain.

I for one understand it too deeply.

Yesterday God told me I needed to end it gently. He told me through 2 dreams that when I wait on His timing, He will bring the best.

Some people are here to mend our wounds temporarily, to help us in our healing journey. If we make the mistake of keeping them when God only ordained them for a season we will not walk into what God has for us.

A lot of women come to me and ask me “can you ask God if He is the one?” They want certainty without risk. Love is risky and God wants us to trust Him with our hearts, not the certainty of that relationship.

But there is also a time when you know God has told you to move on and our hearts don’t want to because we are scared we’d be lacking without that person.

You are never lacking when you have Jesus.

Today I pray that God would teach you that He is a safe God to entrust your heart to.

Sow-

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Prophetic Word- Promises Are Coming To Pass!!!

Prophetic dream-

when you wait for God’s timing, you will get the best.

I just had a dream I sat next to Kloe Kardashian. She didn’t have makeup on so people couldn’t recognize her. I shared with her how I’ve always wanted my own reality show and she said “i can make it happen. Your own reality show”. She said “why didn’t you email me?” I said “I did!”

She checked her email and said “send it again”. Her signature had a lipstick mark. My phone had marks on it so I was trying to wipe off the stains.

I went to wash my hands.

I had a hair dryer with Kloe’s name on it hanging and I said to everyone- “Guess who’s hair dryer this is? It’s Kloe’s. I was just hanging out with her at the cafe. I’m going to have my own reality show! When you wait for God’s best, you will get it!”

I start dancing and floating on air.

Next, there’s a play going on about Aladdin. Whatever you dream, you can have.

But in this dream, there seems to be interference and there are zombies trying to reach me. I feel like things in the past and demonic forces have been trying to force people from moving forward and dreaming.

So then people start taking showers to get the ink off from the zombies.

There will require a mindset switch to receive the dreams God has for you. You need to let go of things that are no longer working and to set boundaries so that you make room for the promises God has for you. God’s best is ahead of you, not behind.

Currently in Mumbai. Look the cutest dog on earth 🙂

I prophesied to my friend’s friend he will write many books and give talks. He told me he writes blogs that are contrary to society. I said good, keep doing it. He told me he went to church when he was young.

Consider sowing into this word. Today I break off foreboding and delay, and any fears about the future. I pray a fresh envisioning of dreams in Jesus name!

Give in $5, $50, $500, $5000 numbers today. Jesus is impressing on the number of grace. Not by might or flesh but by the spirit.

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First Week In India

My Airbnb hosts that I found super last minute. There were several change of plans. But God led me to where I needed to be.

I had many fears of coming to India. People told me “be careful, people get raped there. People don’t respect women”.

Sure people do stare but God sent angels to help me on my first day. In fact it was someone I met in San Francisco in a hostel that God specifically led me to. At that time I didn’t know if I could afford a room. Seriously.

And God said “go there”.

They had a deal where you got $1 off each passport stamp, the manager just gave me the first day for free as she didn’t have the energy to count them. Then I proceeded to tell her about my work.

She gave me 3 more nights for free.

So when God says He provides all of our needs according to His riches in glory He means it and when we put His kingdom first, He does provide!

The Indian man I met told me “when you come to India just call me”. The first day I got cheated by rickshaw drivers and seriously thought “I need help”.

I then contacted that Indian man and within a few minutes he arrived with 2 friends.

God works all things together for those who love Him.

The Spirit proceeded to take me to where I needed to go.

I had a dream my new friend was going on a business trip on Wednesday and sure enough he was, so I am going to a new city and then flying out to Mumbai.

One person I met told me he was getting an arranged marriage and I told him I saw him backpacking and traveling. There are societal expectations but I said you don’t have to conform. He jokingly said to his mom, I’m quitting my job and not getting married!

I shared my story of leaving everything behind to follow Jesus. Maybe my story is more about gaining freedom from societal expectations and hindrances like fears. Fears of judgment from family and peers. I often have to explain that I am not understood in my own house. A prophet is not welcomed in his own town- because of that Jesus could not perform miracles because of peoples’ unbelief.

The day before I left for India, my mom was yelling at me whilst I cried myself to sleep.

You think it is easy to follow your own path? Hell no. I’ve encountered so much resistance and persecution even from my family.

Sometimes we need to leave what we know to truly become and understand who we are.

Indians are so close to their family, much more than Chinese people. But there’s also a lot of expectations.

Personally I don’t think it’s healthy but again I’m a bit Americanized. My family isn’t exactly close, we are almost estranged.

Yet, each one has their own decision to make.

Live your path or live inside the box of culture. Jesus did not live inside his family’s expectations. His mother came looking for Him and He said “my mother and father are those who do the will of God”.

Boom.

That’s a bit harsh. But His words break expectations.

You will not always be liked by people when you hear God and listen. People will find you disagreeable as they can’t control you.

You are unpredictable. You can’t give hard plans as God may redirect you. You don’t make promises you can’t keep.

Your direction is God and He is the one who directs you.

So I found it a bit annoying when people kept asking me- what are you going to do now, you want to eat, take a shower, go to the market?

I know it’s their concern and care for me, but I found I needed serious headspace. Freedom, what is it? The ability to think and act for one self. Do you live in freedom??

India is much better than I expected. I am grateful for how hospital and loving people are but my desire is also to see people live in complete freedom. I really respect the bond people have with each other here.

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