I once had a “friend” tell me in one of the hardest time of my entrepreneurial life that “you chose to be self employed”.

When all I needed was someone to say “you can do this, I believe in you, remember who you are”. I didn’t need another judgement. Especially from a friend.

Recently Ive seen how cruel people can be. But I also know that this is all training ground for the calling of my life.

yes I chose to say yes to who I am.

To say yes to who you are is to know what works and doesn’t for yourself. Some people are okay working the 9 to 5 job, some are happy working part time of freelancing. Some people are created to create amazing works of art and books. Some are scientists. But nevertheless a passion in the heart is more than a choice, it haunts us.

A passion, a desire brings out the hunger of your soul. It overtakes your thoughts, ideas roaming every square feet of your every brain cell.

Can you tell someone “well you chose to be born a male or female”? No, none of us chose where we would be born or what family we were born into….or even to be born….yet deep down we were also wired for dreams that we didn’t choose to be haunted with. We were designed for visions we cannot now clearly understand.

Yet, we should listen clearly to our heart.

Because the more we ignore it, the more we become like mummy’s, walking like zombies, waiting for our death.

Let us listen. Let us act.

respect, power and love. This i pray you have.

Violently throw out old mindsets to make space for the new

I have been cleansing myself of things I had for ages or things that just didn’t reflect me anymore. Whether they’re clothes or things.

I realize there were many mindsets and things I needed to let go of-such as:

1. You can’t get everything you want- even though I knew this was a lie I subconsciously believed it. Actually, you CAN get everything you want, just not “how” and “when”. You can only relax into your greatest destiny, not through anxiety and stress. So when you catch yourself striving, breathe.

2. Clothes that represented the hardened hearted masculine self- as I welcome my feminity, I let go of faux leather and welcome the silk and pink.

3. Many Friends- as opposed to friends worth spending time with. It’s better to be alone than lonely in thought or worse, around people who bring you down.

4. This is good enough- the good enough has gotten me a lot of good enough, but not the best. So whether it’s things or food, or people, what’s the best option? Because you deserve it.

5. Disrespect- is not okay. Make a rule to not take bs.

Love xoxo bex

The quiet poem

is the silence of knowing

it needs no explanation

feigns no frailty 

answers no question

and only seeks to be

Those who ask too many questions

will get thrown aside

passion is not for the logical

passion feels with the heart

Your calling is too big for this place, too big for these people, you must run to the next level, feel the wind against your dreams

yelling into the deep blue

ive finally come

and it’s going to be okay. I let it all go.

If I told you my destiny would be bigger than oprahs.

Hello world. I’m turning 27 in a bit over a week. I’m very proud of myself because I’ve tried many things. I’ve managed to do everything I’ve set my mind to, but it’s just the beginning. All the seeds I’ve sown are still growing so you might not see it yet.

In my attempt to copy huffingtonpost and buzzfeed, here’s my recommendations for every young 27 and younger.

27 things you should do before you turn 27

1. Learn what love is- oh you can attend my love workshop 

Register by emailing me at rebekkalien@gmail.com

2. Cut the umbilical cord already- seriously how freaken long are you going to be a kid? Learn to fend for yourself, move out already. Nothing pushes you into your destiny more than living alone.

3. Learn to cook- for yourself. If you can cook good food, you’ll have a good life.

4. Travel- you’ll never regret traveling. Get a passport, backpack solo. It’ll change your life.

5. Write a bucket list – start checking it off

6. Accept yourself – the faster you learn that you are unique and awesome, the better your life will be. Stop comparing yourself, life is too short.

7. Accept that your journey looks different from others- who cares if you haven’t bought a house, married and had 8 kids yet? If you don’t want that, don’t beat yourself up. Stick to who you are.

8. Live alone- youll be able to face yourself and the you that’s deep and vulnerable. Once you can love yourself in the lonely times, you’ll be able to be with others.

9. Live with roommates- something about learning how to confront roommates about taking out the trash or cleaning the toilet makes you a more mature adult.

10. Say what you mean- stop playing games, say what’s on your mind, life is too fucking short.

11. Date- go on dates, find out what kind of man or woman you like.

12. Get help- get life coaching (www.rebekkalien.com/speaking-coaching), I am one.

13. Take care of your health- at this age no one is going to spoon feed you spinach. Learn to eat your fruits and veggies, plus lots of water.

14. Drink to relaxe, but stop killing your liver- you’re not a 21 year old anymore. Learn to process your stress and feelings verbally so you don’t have to binge-drink. Like I said, get help!

15. Take a personal retreat- best times of my life. I take at least 2 per year. Think you don’t have time or money for it? Maybe you don’t think you’re worthy enough to take one. Do it and your life will change.

16. Have 2-3 close friends- no you don’t need to be popular like in high school. 2-5 is really all you need, it’s important to build a network that will hold you up when you’re about to keel over.

17. Read- a real book. Learning should be life long, if you’re not learning you’re mentally dying.

18. Take yourself on dates- I love eating lobster by myself under the candlelight. Honestly I find that I treat myself way better than a lot of males treat women, until I find someone who really knows my worth, I’d rather commit to myself.

19. Learn to clean- an adult who can’t clean is like a sinking ship. Hygiene is so important. People get turned off by stinkiness.

20. Drop negative friends- there’s no time to waste, stop wasting your time with negative and immature people.

21. Have hobbies- an adult that only works is like another sinking ship. The more interested you are in life, the happier you’ll be. I’ve tried everything from flamenco dance to creative writing to improv comedy. Next week I’m doing burlesque dance!

22. Say no- learn how to set boundaries and to be in control of your decisions. You’re an adult, stop blaming people, you made the choice. Learn to say no. It won’t offend people!

23. Enjoy every moment- dude you have your whole life ahead of you, stop worrying about not having it all together. Who has it together? No one. Even if they do, they’re probably uninteresting.

24. Be real and be you- it’s okay to be. Learn to stop trying and to be expressive of who you are and how you feel.

25. Know what you want long term wise- I have seen so many 60 year olds that are living in the past. Please, know what you want and go for it. Especially men, a lot of you think you’re going to be hot and 30 forever, but pretty soon you’ll be bald and alone. So stop saying the woman has to look like Scarlett johansson when you don’t even look half like Hugh jackman.

26. Stop giving a fuck- about what people think.

27. Just do it- just love the life you want.

What do you do when you grow up with emotionally constipated parents or even absent parents? Sometimes we strive to please others because we never got the love we needed. We become overachievers. A few days ago I met this amazing Cantonese woman and mom who patiently listened to my stories, we met at jury duty. After it all ended, she texted me and told me how special I was. She told me that she’d be a proud mom if she was my mom.

When I read that I started weeping.

Sometimes God will send us mother and father figures because we need the affirmations that we lacked as children. There is something beautiful about strangers giving you a gift of love. It’s worth more than money, it’s invaluable, something you’ll forever store in your heart.

People can’t give the love they don’t already have in their hearts. Sometimes they’re leaking because they continue to poke holes in their hearts. They refuse to forgive and keep tearing the wound open.

So in that light, choose to forgive them because they don’t have the love to give. See them as sad children who never got the love they needed and choose to heal on the path of love.
Seek and you will find.
Join me for a 3 week course starting January 24 in pasadena!! Register rebekkalien@gmail.com