This is my friend Cicily, I googled “manbattical”, found her blog and ended up becoming friends with her through skype. This led to me staying at her house in Hawaii. My idea for my new book was birthed at her place and we are going to be international authors and speakers! Her passion is to help others be authentic, and to help divorced moms heal.

Most of us have dreams like owning a home, having a secure little family and maybe going to Bali for vacation.

What if you are dreaming too small? Most of us have small dreams because we’re only thinking about ourselves and our immediate circle of friends and family. When I was a kid, I wanted to buy my mom a house. That’s thinking too small.

When I started dreaming bigger, it was because I was thinking of OTHER PEOPLE. I was thinking about the world. I was thinking about the dying, the homeless, the hungry, the orphans, the fatherless, the divorced parents, I was thinking about the brokenhearted, the sick. 

That is when my dreams expanded to infinite possibilities.

Okay, you’re asking me “how?”

Don’t question the “how”, the “how” will be revealed when you need it. 

In fact I am in the season of life where I only select and choose opportunities based on the UMPH that I feel in my stomach and heart. I got to feel it. Why? It’s DESIRE, it’s PASSION. If you’re doing anything “bored”, you might as well not do it. What’s the point of living a boring life? Get it?

For example, I’m going to a conference in a few months and speaking in front of a large amount of people.

They want me to stay and sit for 8 hours listening to everyone…I’m sorry, I will leave if I get bored.

My time is not worth being bored. I did that in school, most of the time I was daydreaming…that’s why I’m living an awesome life now because I didn’t let my mind glaze over.

You don’t HAVE TO DO ANYTHING.

No one is putting a gun over your head and telling you “YOU BETTER LIVE A BORING LIFE OR ELSE DIE!” or “YOU BETTER do this so you can have retirement so you can go to Hawaii in a wheelchair”. 

The point is, think beyond yourself.

What moves you? What makes you cry? What do you have a passion for?

I’m moved by community, I’m moved by people helping each other. I cry when I see children with dreams but no financial means to access their dreams, I have a passion for empowering women…to know their worth and to live OUT LOUD. I love healing peoples’ hearts and seeing them activate their own desires, to pursue their dreams without hesitancies of “how”. How will come to you…don’t doubt it. Trust. 

Now, after thinking about what moves you, what gifts and talents do you have?

For me, I realize I love touching lives by telling stories of how I overcame challenges and deep wounds. I call it restoration. Now, since I’ve been given talents of writing, speaking, singing, dancing, etc…I can tell stories through my talents. I also want to direct films that moves people to action. This is better than a job title, this is a life calling. 

Now you have all that down? Imagine speaking in front of thousands, touching lives through your book, maybe creating a website so others can contribute, imagine the types of people you’ll start to meet. Incredible. Imagine the access, but not just for yourself, but for the world to be touched and changed for good. Dream on.

I’ve been inspired to write a lot more lately! It’s pretty awesome to be inspired.

I’d like to write a bit about relationships.

I see a lot of woman go through rejection because a guy has totally ghosted or disappeared into thin air. Remember….some wise advice from Bex:

1. Someone is unable to love you if he does not love himself. This has nothing to do with you. It’s not because you are not smart, pretty, charming enough, it’s because his heart is not capable, not big enough for the love you desire.

2. Okay, maybe it is you. Maybe you are the one with the closed heart and you’ve self-sabotaged love by purposely saying hurtful things to drive your partner away. Let love start from the inside. 

3. Healing starts from within. As I’ve accepted the unconditional love that comes from an infinite source, I’ve found that on earth, our relationships are reflective of our inner world. Some people are attracted to the light within, it doesn’t mean you have to be in a relationship with them…it just means they desire what you have within. 

4. Heal childhood wounds- We all carry father or mother wounds, even in subtle ways. Sometimes this carries over to our career and relationships. We don’t feel like we’re enough, good enough. We sabotage relationships because we saw that in our parents’ relationships….Listen to my soundcloud below!

We accept the love we think we deserve. Until you come to true awareness of your infinite worth and love….you will accept less than. 

My 8-10 minute speech about what I’ve accomplished in my career.

They told me I’d have to talk about this.

Dry.

Sounds boring to me.

If at the end of our lives, we simply had stories of how we got some award, attained some high level executive title or job description, had health insurance and retirement, published some books, recorded 10 albums, built a mountain of wealth, I don’t know, it sounds boring to me.

I’d like to tell a story about something that touched my heart. Maybe how I spent 2 weeks in Hawaii and became ohana with a friend I met online. How I met an old man at a bus stop and heard his story of how his father left at 14 years old. We shared a moment in the middle of nowhere, bus 22, in the waiting, we enjoyed the moment by capturing and sharing our deepest fears. In that moment, he released secrets he wouldn’t have to his best friends even. A 27 year old and a 60 year old.

Most of the world would think we’d have nothing in common.

The world is a jumbo, a melting pot of content, so is the web.

We can choose to judge based on achievements, or on who that person really is.

Because at the end of my life, I’d like my eulogy to be a story about someone who didn’t necessarily have an easy beginning, but learned to say that “in my weakness, I am made strong”.

In the last 2 years, I found myself striving to be independent, to prove that I could make it on my own. I didn’t need my family’s help, they didn’t support my dreams. But I’m coming to a season of my life where relying on others have been a sweet opening to my heart. So as I ask for help, I find that the person sitting across me opens their hearts to me, and in doing so….we are healing each other. 

I don’t believe in being perfect.

In fact I’ve followed my heart to the wrong places, to partners that abused and neglected my heart.

But it’s in the aftermath that you learn, you can’t learn from sitting in a box.

That’s why when I receive accusations from people that say I’m unqualified, that I’m offensive, judging everything I write, I know I’m doing something right.

I don’t coach people to be perfect, to get their shit together. I coach people to tell their stories.

With authenticity, truth….minus shame and guilt. 

There is no shame and guilt in being human. But stop running to a pool of poison and stop drinking from it. That’s why I don’t believe in shaming or telling people what not to do or what to do, I simply ask questions that guide them to their own truth. Most people know deep down what’s truth for them.

It’s not my job to control people, your job is to be happy and controlling people is not happiness.

My 8-10 minute speech would be about how I learned to let go and live in freedom. 

our society is obsessed with being right. I post something on facebook and people respond like Tigers ready to eat it’s prey.

Calm down, do you even know me in person?

People say I’m probably one of the most down to earth people. I don’t like drama.

However, that doesn’t stop me from posting, writing, being controversial. If I waited to be perfect, pleasing, I’d be in my house all day waiting for my zit to go away. If I waited until the world was kind enough, I’d live as a hermit on a mountain top.

So what’s one thing you’ve been scared to try because you’ve been waiting to be right?

Yesterday my friend kept seeing birds of paradise so I took a picture for her 🙂 this post is for you!

An an exerpt from How To Make Money Doing What You Love- get it today!! http://www.oronjo.com/live/next/?fi=95905

I have been in hawaii for almost 2 weeks, I’ll be leaving in 2 days and hollywood is where I’ll be going. Into a new season of rest and complete restoration. That is why I’m having an ebook sale for $15! Get it here- http://www.oronjo.com/live/next/?fi=95905

The number 15 in the Bible pictures rest, which comes after deliverance, represented by fourteen.

People have told me my ebook is like the alchemist for them, life changing. I was so honored to hear that since I literally wrote this to the point manual in my living room and burst out crying after.

My soul needed to share what I had learned in my years of entrepreneurship.

Get your ebook here!

http://www.oronjo.com/live/next/?fi=95905

Xoxo, Bex

me at Pearl Harbor, Honolulu

I look back on my life and can find thousands of hilarious moments. I was and am definitely weird. I tried to fit in two times in my life. The first was in middle school, then the second when I was in real estate. I thought I needed to have gap clothes in middle school and later in real estate, I thought I needed to wear uncomfortable suit dresses. We didn’t have much money growing up so I had handmade shirts.

Don’t get me wrong. I looked hot in my suit dress.

But I couldn’t move with the same tenacity as I usually do. I couldn’t jump in the air and randomly skip on the street because I’m happy. Yes, I actually do that.

I also had crushes on generic cool hot boys.

It was only last year that I realized “Seth green Types” are totally my type. I mean I’ve liked him ever since I watched rat race. Typical hot boys are boring to me, I can’t talk about philosophy and farting with them.

The point is it’s okay to be weird.

That’s what makes you special. If you thought you ever needed to fit in to succeed, think again! What makes you weird is what will make you stand out!

So here are a few weird things about me:

1. I ask guys if they’d be okay hearing me fart because to me, being able to fart in front of a potential partner is freedom to be myself.

2. I use my asian face as a guise. Like cops will stop me but if I put my black rimmed glasses and blazer on, say I just came from my office, they’ll think I’m a responsible asian american.

3. I can tear up the dance floor with moves I learned from youtube

4. I feel the freest when I have no security and have only a backpack trotting through jungles and oceans in foreign lands

Go figure, xoxo Bex

Did you get my book yet?

Www.rebekkalien.com/lovemoneywork

The life less traveled is usually one that is not paved, very few have ventured on it but most who walk on it end up unusually successful. These are people like Oprah, richard Branson to name two of my favorites. These are rule breakers, rebels, people who spoke up when everyone went silent.

I have never felt happier in my life. In the world’s eyes I really have nothing. I chose to sell all my furniture and be home-less. I’ve been in Hawaii for a week and I’ve never felt freer. I left a career that could have been profitable to pursue my hearts’ desire. I realize that if you can’t be happy in your heart, you can’t be period.

God has given me love and peace in all circumstances. I’ve tried to find my worth in worldly ideas of success, romantic love, attention from peers and family, the idea of stability in matrimony, man, stability, fame, the big break, approval from people, the life with a house by myself, the stuff, the car, the designer bags and more stuff….in the end I found that I found perfect love in spirit and God, in the now.

I feel full, alive, and I only have a backpack right now. I found that if I dwelled in love, nothing else mattered. That I have everything I need now. That as long as I didn’t allow fear to capture my mind, I’d live in unlimited possibilities.

When I was young, I knew I was different. I saw older folks and didn’t want the life they lived. I decided in my mind I’d be a fun adult. I wouldn’t be tired and boring all the time.

I wanted to laugh and experience really amazing things like traveling and riding elephants. I also thought that if I ever got married, I wouldn’t have a status quo relationship or even a wedding according to how everyone did it. Hipster wouldn’t even set it apart enough. I wouldn’t invite people I felt awkward with or had previous beef with. I wouldn’t invite 400 people just because my parents wanted to invite their friends. I’d live according to what i want.

Some have told me I do what I want because I didn’t grow up with my dad. I think they are correct. So everything has a gold lining.

As I breathe in Hawaii, I feel myself surrender totally to a spiritual love, totally letting go of ego. I’m becoming the type of relaxed hippie I’ve always admired, minus the substance they need to be totally hippie.

I have become one with the ocean….and life is more beautiful and less conventional than I could have ever imagined. So if anyone tells you that life is hard and has to be hard, tell them otherwise. If people say your industry is competitive and cutthroat, tell them that “you attract what you are”. If you’re free of ego, loving people come into your life. If you always see drama, dramatic people come into your life. It’s all about perspective.

Dreams do manifest into reality right in front of my eyes. Several months ago I googled manbattical in research for my year of sanctifying my heart and not getting into an exclusive relationship, I fell upon a blog. I emailed her and interviewed her for my YouTube show. She told me that I had a place to stay if I decided to visit Hawaii. Today I’m sitting in her house writing this post.

life can be awesome and adventurous if we allow our hearts and our desires to run passionate….. Without societal expectations of success and rules.

I’m happy and as I exude happiness, more happiness comes into my life.

There is no fear in love and this is MY happily ever after.

How about you?

I realize that fear restricts muscles. We often live our lives worrying about little things and somehow we survive, we are breathing and alive. The things we worry about are external, often there are more challenges to be fought.

one thing I’ve learned is that accepting and releasing is the best you can do.

Then choose to know that your circumstances don’t define your worth.

For example, if you’re in debt, you are not your debt, you are an amazing human of infinite possibility. If you just got dumped by a loved one, remember life is always an upgrade and there’s always better fish in the sea.

you were meant to be healed by that relationship. You learned from it. You grew from it.

If you auditioned for a part, and didn’t get it, they simply didn’t see your light and needed someone else’s light.

Your perfect part is on a timeline in history you don’t know just yet.

If you’ve been single for years, start loving yourself and people. Since you attract who you are, you’ll attract wholeness or lack. As you heal you’ll meet more people who are like you.

how do you live with courage everyday? For me I’ve been able to take risks because I know there’s a God who is looking out for me, always showing me beauty and abundance.

I don’t wait for everything to be perfect to be grateful, I’m grateful for the nice cashier, I’m grateful for my friends, I’m grateful for a warm shower and I’m grateful today for my friend who I’m staying with in hawaii.

What are you grateful for and how can you be courageous today?

On my trip to catalina island, I met kris Holden-Reid on top of a mountain. #tudors #lostgirl

Many times in life

we will find that our hearts are jaded, where did the passion go?

For life, where did the excitement go for the things you used to love doing?

You will find that the duties of life has blocked your vision of the life you wanted

when you were young and “naive”, they say

But that’s when you have to push your imagination….until you believe in your own

carry your own

Because your imaginations will manifest into reality before your eyes

If you don’t back down

I’m going to hawaii on Tuesday to rediscover my heart again. Though I’m a tastemaker, a thought leader, always seeking for a more passionate life, I need often to rediscover my heart.

After selling my furnitures, rewriting my life and allowing my true desires to lead, I can honestly say anything can happen. They say those who lose their life will find it.

May we waste our life for what really matters, to awaken the heart that keeps us alive.