Tag: love

The Truth of Your Heart & How To Live From A Place of Authenticity

On By Rebekka LienIn forgiveness, God, healing, Relationships, self-help, spirituality, therapy

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The truth of your emotions, if not dealt with resurrect in other areas of your life, creating discrepancies between who you are and what you do because your heart is desiring to tell the truth (even if you do not want to feel them). The adult self will reprimand the little one, when in fact the adult self should have allowed the little one to be honest at all cost….the cost of facing the pain, anger, the cost of not being liked or understood, the cost of rejection.

Love for self will eventually say “I am worth the cost”.

Though the process of moving past “people pleasing” (because perhaps you have not spoke the truth in fear that you will be rejected) will be difficult, you will reach a part of you heart that is authentic and you will be able to live out of authenticity versus people pleasing.

I am realizing that any form of addiction, “bad behavior” comes and swells from areas of your heart that you have shut down, unwilling to feel emotions, that is why you need a certain release because the truth of your emotions were not expressed. That is why people turn to self hating addictions or behaviors.

I have experienced this myself. The self willed discipline to be a certain way to society, to look a certain way. It came mostly from legalistic religious upbringing from institutions that loved the behaviors and not the person.

It taught people to not feel, to pretend to be positive and pretend to forgive yet with bitterness buried alive.

Self-will is useless. Only Spirit can enable you to be transformed. It is an inner transformation, not performance.
God sees the heart while people see outward appearance.

It has taught me to discern. Wisely.

But I have learned to be authentic with my true emotions.

Because emotions are valuable. Even if it is pain.

I have become stronger from within, as more people misunderstood me, the more I was able to face the pain of rejection and the more I became truthful with my heart.

The heart longs to be truthful, it needs to be expressed. Do not pretend, do not suppress them. We often fight our desires because of “shoulds”, no longer listening to the little child within. We try to discipline our hearts thinking we know better. The heart needs to express its true desire.

 

You Deserve Happiness

On By Rebekka LienIn faith, forgiveness, healing, health, lawofattraction, lifehack, love, Relationships, spirituality

you-deserve-happinessWe are all a little fucked up.

We have issues.

Even the most put together people have issues, they just don’t parade them around Instagram.

Recently I received this revelation that I was basically believing that I didn’t deserve happiness because of my past, because of bad decisions in the past, in my relationship.

So no I don’t believe in karma, I believe in forgiveness. If I believed in karma, then I really don’t deserve happiness and actually all of us are doomed. I believe in grace and forgiveness.

But see I didn’t dig that deep before, it was too painful.

I realized that my unforgiveness of self had caused me to close myself up to all potential suitors. It’s not because there aren’t suitable mates (and obviously there are plenty of unsuitable ones online), it’s because I didn’t think I deserved to be happy.

Do you need to forgive yourself for somethings in your life? 

Sometimes we do things out of our brokenness but we don’t realize we are basing our truth on a lie.

“Why won’t this part of my life WORK ALREADY!” you try to work everything out externally but it just won’t give….maybe it’s finance, maybe it’s your relationship with your parents, maybe it’s your relationship, maybe it’s your health, maybe it’s your career, you’ve exhausted all your options, you’ve tried everything….

I dare you to look within. 

Look back to your earliest or most recent memory of when you heard a lie, even if it was self-made “I’m not enough, I’m not good enough, I don’t deserve this”…..

Did someone tell you you’re not enough by disappearing, by neglecting you?

The answer isn’t outside of you, it’s inside.

It’s within your soul.

You deserve happiness. 

PS- we make decisions based on the condition of our hearts so often our decisions are fear driven because we are looking for stability. That is why it is so important to forgive ourselves and love ourselves because our actions are simply a reflection of the condition of our hearts at that moment.

 

 

A New Day: My Story of Broken to Healed

On By Rebekka LienIn faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, love, meditation, self-help, spirituality, therapy

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Less than 3 years ago I was sitting in a hostel in Barcelona in a bunkbed.

I had a dream that I was to quit real estate, like not actively participate in it anymore. I had just carried a duffel across western Europe and little did I know how much that experience would change my life. It was also on that bed that I first saw Toure Roberts speak via youtube. Up until then my relationship with God was outside of institutions because well I had let go of a really closed minded institution. I grew up going to church and I didn’t realize how legalistic most churches were until I finally left 6 plus years ago.

And I saw God like I never saw Him before. Gracious, fatherly, loving, generous, slow to anger, quick to love, quick to extend a hand. 

Then like a snake, I shed everything. I shed my career, I shed my relationship, I shed some friendships, I shed my apartment, I shed my prized super comfy sofa that I really loved, I shed almost everything, the forks and plates.

I had built my life on a lie, that I wasn’t enough. 

And God would speak into those insecurities and continue to speak “you are enough right here and right now” in the next days, next year, and so forth.

I learned to love myself in the darkest places of my heart. I learned to be okay with emotions, you know the ugly ones…emotions like “Hey you hurt me” or “hey that hurt, I mind that you said that”. I learned to VALUE my voice. 

Because even now when I tell people what I’m going through they quickly remark “you are victorious” instead of being there with me in the pain. I have learned that not many people are comfortable with facing their place of pain. Reading “No More Faking Fine” has taught me to lament, to struggle with God in the pain, to be okay not being okay.  

And obviously we all hate it when people complain too much or dwell on their pain 24 hours, we hate it…yah, that’s another issue, but some of us, like me, never learned to lament.

In the months and year of feeling like “nothing was happening” God was actually healing me and replacing the lie of “I’m not enough” to “I belong, I am enough. I am loved and accepted right here and right now”. 

And in doing so, I no longer needed the attention of people…of men, or the desire to need to be wanted or chased by potential partners. I no longer needed acceptance from people. And yah, I still have insecurities here and there but I feel different, I feel at peace with who I am now. 

No longer chasing things, opportunities, friends, potential friends, potential mates…I sunk deeper into God’s unconditional love for me. 

I would no longer be defined by my accomplishments and accolades but by the tiny and still voice of “enough” and “love”.

I found God’s love to be deeply captivating, deeply protective, silently powerful. 

The breakthrough is here. The breakthrough is you. The breakthrough is YOU knowing who you really truly are.

Snail Mail Giveaway

On By Rebekka LienIn art, faith, love, Shop, social media, writer

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#snailmail #giveaway
I just saw this pic of #rihanna and made this fun card. You will also get a fun pack of stickers, paper and fun!
Giveaway ends 2/15 in celebration of love!
To enter (CLICK HERE ON INSTAGRAM).
1. Follow @rebekkalien
2. Repost this pic and tags @rebekkalien
3. Optional for additional entry: subscribe to www.rebekkalien.com

International entries accepted!!! Worldwide 🌎 love! Must respond 24 hours to receive prize! #postcrossing #snailmail #mail

 

I would love to connect to all my readers. Feel free to find me via the web! I’m very active on instagram! 🙂

Gaining Freedom In The Waiting

On By Rebekka LienIn culture, faith, God, healing, lawofattraction, love, Relationships, self-help, spirituality, therapy, writer
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When you heal your heart, you may find seasons of seeming equilibrium, no extremes. Your old self may crave drama, it may be addicted to highs and lows, but you are a new being. You have been healed, you no longer need external validation to confirm your inner glory.
She is no longer broken, looking for acceptance in the wrong places or the wrong people. She is whole, gaining freedom in the waiting.
Her heart belongs only to the one who has freed her. She is secure in her own right, she breathes with courage. She waits when everyone runs, she runs when everyone waits. She listens to her heart because it tells her when to go, when to wait, where to go or whether to stay.
She is no longer attracted to the dark balls of illness and disease that looks for broken parts of humans to absorb and trap.
She is no longer chained to old patterns, bad boys, nice boys with manipulative tendencies, bitchy friends, gossip, bad-mouthing, she looks for peace in places. Where is the peace, she wanders there, she is attracted to light. She is light.
She would rather be alone than with bad company. She comes alive in the presence of the one who frees her, there within her heart. She lets go and flies free.

Your Breakthrough Is In Your Presence

On By Rebekka LienIn art, beautiful, faith, healing, law of attraction, love, solo travel, spirituality, travel

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How do you deal with uncertainties? Life is full of unknowns.

God often surprises me by destroying plans I had, even for Christmas. I might have assumed something but then those plans are easily pulled away from me. This week I woke up with horrible vertigo and puking. Yes, it was awful. I thought I was going to die and I prayed really hard. The sickness came and went, tried to come back again, but finally left.

I was grateful. It humbled me as well. Sickness is humbling. It reminds you, you are fragile, weak. 

I felt that the puking was like a cleanse to the negativity in my life. I realized it also stemmed from my not eating when I would get hungry. Deep down, I had some insecurities about my recent inability to exercise and was afraid that I was gaining weight. But I think deep down I felt that I was not good enough. 

During my time in bed, I kept hearing “you are good enough, you are enough” over and over again. In my inability to do anything, I soaked in God’s unconditional love for me. I was reminded that I had been trying to figure my life out again, even by planning my days, I was trying to control my life. I wasn’t handing over the reigns. 

Soon enough God heard my prayers and my mom actually took me to this Chinese medicine woman who gave me a diagnosis and some herbs. Soon enough, I was also alone again. This time a little disappointed that I would probably spend the holidays alone. I didn’t really understand what was happening.

I know that 2017 is a year of alignment, but even in those days where I’m writing, painting, watching Elementary, I’m wondering what my life will even look like soon.

What no eye has seen,
    what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”[—
    the things God has prepared for those who love him- 1 Corinthians 2:9 

But today as my flesh and mind finally let go of plans and the need to KNOW, I went to the movies (which always calms me down), cried my eyes out watching Moana and Collateral Beauty (good for emotional cleansing, the movie seriously left the whole movie theater room sniffling), and then in following my desires for some food and boba, was led to divine appointments with strangers. One lady I met when I asked her about this hat I wanted to buy, I said “just to make sure, this is the English flag right?” and then I continued the conversation by asking if she was Irish and she said German. Well, since I was born in Germany, we had no lack of conversation.

Our need to know always ruins the moment doesn’t it? In the story of Adam and Eve, that is what ruined their life at first….the need to know without the relationship with God, which is based on trust. We are unable to live in the moment, to see all the beauty and love around us when we are in our head, figuring every detail of our lives out.

I remember when I was dating an ex, we went to an Italian restaurant in Santa Monica but his mind was absent. The bill was over $100 but I could have stayed at home, watched netflix and ate mcdonalds for $5. It wasn’t about our surroundings, how delicious the food was, or even how romantic the ambiance was. I thought the food was okay, but my ex said it was a waste of money and that the food was horrible. To be honest, if I was eating by myself, I would have enjoyed everything a lot more. His energy totally killed my vibe.

His mind was somewhere else and I was unable to connect with him. 

We can truly enjoy the moment when we choose to be grateful, to notice the miracle around us. Everyday is a gift. When we are present we are able to connect with the people who are around us. That is one of the reasons I love traveling because I am usually present. I see the world with wonder, everything is new to me and I am not thinking about anything else. I don’t plan either, I usually allow spirit to lead me to the right place at the right time. I follow my bliss, I follow the adventure. When I am tired, I sit down at a cafe and observe the beauty around me. By being present I meet the most wonderful people.

When I was in London, I ate at a market in Brixton and met this girl. She asked if she could share the table with me. Turns out she worked at the Globe Theatre and she invited me to watch a play with her. I was truly grateful because she gave me free tickets and I had made a new friend. I was reminded that God was watching over me in every step of my journey backpacking through Europe. I have thousands of stories like this, divine appointments I call them.

I Found My Identity In The Wilderness

On By Rebekka LienIn business, coach, dream, entrepreneur, God, healing, lifecoach, lifehack, love, self-help, spirituality, therapy

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Finding our identity is probably one of live’s biggest struggle.

Ignoring other people’s opinions about who you are or who you should be and what you should do is another. It is never about what they think about you, but what you think about yourself. 

For a long time I didn’t really know who I was, I knew I had big dreams and I had visions of what my life would look like, but since every dream takes time…people simply saw my process. When people don’t see results, they start judging you big time. Even though you have only been on this earth for less than 30 years, for some reason they want you to be Richard Branson already. And perhaps it was my mistake to tell people, I basically was so full of passion that I told everyone. And then people started mocking me. 

And then I hid. 

Not in a cave, but something like one. I departed from people, cut ties with people who didn’t truly understand. I kept a few close friend and I am truly grateful for them because they have seen my journey. I believe that this season is essential. This season I call the wilderness season requires introspection and sometimes seasonal solitude. 

In the wilderness season God helped me weed out the lies…the lies of not being enough, lies that I wasn’t good enough, that I needed to prove myself….lies that I must hide myself to honor those around me (that didn’t know themselves).

It’s dishonoring to yourself to hide your light, it’s dishonoring to the creator who created you.  You are way too brilliant to be hid, you are way too beautiful to not be admired. 

But at the end of the day, you must see yourself right first. You must see your own beauty, your own brilliance, your own talent, your own genius. You must be so confident that even if others belittle you, you can defend yourself in confidence, or in confidence walk away. And oh, forgive them and not live with a false success revenge mentality (which is when you are offended and try to succeed to prove people wrong rather than doing it out of pure joy and love).

I often hear “do not engage, this is a low mentality warfare” sometimes when I hear negative remarks. I know it is their ego speaking, so I must be wise not to get distracted in low level spiritual warfare. There are so many tactics the enemy uses.

Gossip is one of the ways I’ve learned self-control. Today someone mentioned someone who was told something about someone. They were demeaning them, judging their decisions in life. I listened and then I said “we don’t know them, we don’t even talk to them, why are we judging them? And also we’ve made mistakes in our lives too, everyone has their battles”. I know that I have been there too, mistakes, failures, I am not one to judge. 

In a way, the wilderness season humbles you. It prepares you to be the great person you are, to confront giants that belittle you, tell you you’re not enough. The wilderness season prepares you to enter battles in your work, with companies, with consultants, with kings, queens, presidents. 

Interesting. What did they say about me? Well, I hope one day they know how brilliant they are too. Because I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made, loved and accepted for who I am now.

Finding God In Bed

On By Rebekka LienIn coach, faith, God, healing, love, Relationships, self-help, spirituality

I like to use a provocative title to draw people in. But it is quite literal.

I woke up sobbing, feeling the depths of my heart, the hard pieces falling apart, away. For good perhaps. This time I had a dream where I was yelling, telling my story and a person in my life telling me to be quiet, to be ashamed. In the vicinity is an array of people that have told me to diminish myself because even if they didn’t know it, deep down they are afraid to be themselves and seeing someone free means they are still captive. 

I was crying in the dream, and when I got home my mom said I could no longer sleep there (meaning of rest) and that I must leave.

Sleeping in dreams usually means living in grace. The 5 years of wilderness for me was healing from the many wounds that I had somehow acquired in my life. 

Growing up in a single mother home, I didn’t quite learn what boundaries meant. This meant I listened to people, I got a load of garbage because I thought that meant I was loving them. Of course it was all in detriment to my own well being.

I found God in bed.

In sleep, in rest, in bed rest. I started having long, intense, novel like dreams. I had them every single night and I could remember them. 

And I stopped going to church. I found safe ways to listen to messages through youtube. I cut ties with people who were unsafe.

In this dream, I was wearing a coat to hide my bare chest. In dreams, bare chest usually means being unashamed, being completely wholly yourself. But I had to still hide my identity around the people who didn’t know how to be themselves.

Basically I wasn’t accepted as a human being. I was too edgy, too controversial, too much, too larger than life. I entered a season of solitude. During this time, I confronted my wounds and my heart. In a healing session I remember saying “to be honest, I was friends with people I didn’t even like” in reply to her question “it seems like you have a pattern of unfriending people and cutting them out of your life?”

I shocked myself there.

True, I was hiding myself, but to hang out with people I didn’t even like, that was extreme. But my final action told the truth. I actually found some people deeply annoying, obnoxious but I tried to be accommodating because I didn’t know how to say no or to explain why I felt how I felt.

Recently, I have started hanging out with people again. It is a slow process but I am now more mindful about what is mine and what isn’t. For example, when people have insecurities about being totally 100 percent themselves, they might project that unto you and try to control your freedom to be yourself. 

They might say something like “why are you doing that in public? It is embarrassing (to me)?” or dismiss your opinion without trying to understand it “that doesn’t make any sense, shut up”….those are examples of things people might say because they are unable to accept you for who you are and are fearful of what others think of them.

The religious spirit doesn’t just exist inside an institutional religion, but anywhere. The religious spirit is a spirit of control, it tries to bully you. The spirit of freedom is I believe who God truly is.

Here are some examples:

The religious spirit tells you that there is only right or wrong, black and white.

The spirit of freedom is relational, it is like a friend, it listens to your opinions and heart. It is collaborative and allows room for mistakes and decisions.

The religious spirit is controlling, it seeks to dominate people, it will only accept people if people follows their rules or idea of who they should be.

The spirit of freedom is unconditional and allows people to be themselves. It liberates rather than controls.

I hope this post gave you some insight. Peace and freedom. XOXO

Where the spirit is, there is liberty.

True Connection to Riches

On By Rebekka LienIn art, business, entrepreneur, faith, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, love, spirituality, therapy, writer

“When you are inspired by a great purpose, everything will begin to work for you. Inspiration comes from moving back in-spirit and connecting to the seven faces of intention. When you feel inspired, what appeared to be risky becomes a path you feel compelled to follow. The risks are gone because you are following your bliss, which is the truth within you. This is really love working in harmony with your intention. Essentially, if you do not feel love, you do not feel the truth, and your truth is all wrapped up in your connection to Spirit. This is why inspiration is such an important part of the fulfillment of your intention to live a life on purpose.”- Wayne Dyer

I am an artist.

It is more than a job, it is a calling. It was predestined. We are all artists in some way.

I am disturbed when people talk about getting a job to survive, I used to think that way too. I used to put bills first and passion, vision, purpose second.

I am not a survivor, I am a thriver.

I don’t merely want to survive and live a get by life, I want to live a thriving life. I made a choice to GO ALL IN, no backup plan. Let that backup plan be God. Artists are prophets. If you create in anyway you are an artist. Artists have thoughts, ideas, blabbering in their mind and they put them out into the world. They mirror the creator. Growing up I had some people comment in surprise that I believe in God as though believing in God is an ignorant thing to do and also that I was too cool a person to believe in God. I’m an artist, I create shit. Why wouldn’t I believe in God. God created things. 

You know you are “inspired” or in- spirit when you have these flow of ideas and thoughts and you can’t seem to SHUT THEM UP. Like this morning I woke up to do my numero 2, and then I couldn’t go back to sleep because suddenly this thought “I am an artist….it is more than a job, it is a calling”….okay, go to sleep, but then my mind wouldn’t shut up, it was like God speaking to my mind in paragraph format and it was so detailed that I had to just turn on my computer and write it down. 

“And public speaking was not a risk; it was something I had to do because I knew that I could not feel happy with myself if I did not follow my heart. The universe handled the details, because I was feeling love for what I was doing, and consequently, I was living my truth. By teaching love, that very same love guided me to my purpose, and the financial remuneration flowed to me with that same energy of love. I couldn’t see how it worked out, but I followed an inner knowing and never regretted it.“- Wayne Dyer

A lot of people ask me this question “but how do you pay the bills as a freelancer or artist?” I find that hilarious because I’ve managed to sell most of my big belongings and live virtually very free from bills. For example I haven’t had a sim card for a year and a half, I use a google number and it also keeps me from getting distracted from living in peace. I seem to have everything I need and more all the time.

And when I feel “lack” it usually comes from believing a lie that I am not enough, that I need to supplement my being by having more clothes, makeup, things. 

Living in grace means my relationship and being with God comes first, my connection to God is my connection to provision.

He guides and leads me to places, opportunities, resources, money, things..and I don’t have to fret.

It’s like if someone asked “but how am I going to feed myself?” when her dad is standing right next to her with a consistent flow of sushi, tuna tar tar, pasta, steak, smoothies, etc. You get the idea. I’d be pretty offended if I was the dad. But most of us work out asses off in our non-inspired human way while “dad” is standing there with everything you can ever want or need and we refuse to accept his help. 

Pride? Possibly.

So that’s where Trust comes in. Belief. Believing that He is for you and not against you. Then, listening, intently, staying close to the heart of God.

I’ve been led to impossible, miraculous things and talk to people that some would be afraid to talk to…and sometimes yah I have to get over my own fear, but I remember I am safe in God’s protection.

xoxo BEX

my art: https://society6.com/shoprl/prints

 

Giving Thanks For the Pain

On By Rebekka LienIn art, beautiful, dream, entrepreneur, God, healing

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Thank you to all my subscribers and readers who have silently read my blog and liked my posts. Although I have disabled comments, I do invite you to contact me in other ways, such as my instagram- rebekkalien.

Yesterday I was just thinking that I am so grateful for all the pain and shit I went through in my life. Though I could not understand it in the moment and often used to blame my parents (one who was absent for 10 years) for my dysfunctional heart, I grew up very fast and learned that forgiveness is everything.

  1. If I didn’t move to two different countries after Germany, I would not be the world traveler that I am today. I can adapt anywhere and my mind and heart is open to change.
  2. I didn’t have a fatherly voice in my life, but I grew very close to God, who I could not see but could talk to and feel. I became stable within.
  3. After immigrating, my family experienced financial hardships, but it was in the hardship I learned to find my worth. I didn’t know how to be a child and never got allowance, which I later complained about….my own desire for independence led me to see how hard it is to do it on my own and I reconciled my familial relationships. With a heart to know my earthly father, I reached out to him several times. It took several years of visiting him to forgive and love him, but I needed to do it for myself. I could have complained about it for years, but God moved me to be the initiator. It wasn’t my fault that he wasn’t around, but how could I love myself in this situation, to let go.
  4. I realize that my parents are perfect for me because I don’t know a lot of Asian parents who allowed their daughters to travel solo. Because they could hardly control me, I did what I wanted to. My mom also backpacked Europe when she was young.
  5. I’m thankful for the pain and battles I’ve been through as an entrepreneur. I remember crying on my bath mat because I was barely scraping by. The mat was purple by the way.

I can look back now and say, wow, I was brave, I was a warrior. I’ve learned so much and I am thankful for how far I’ve come as a person.

What pain are you thankful? What do you need to release today? Who do you need to forgive, for you own heart?