The truth of your emotions, if not dealt with resurrect in other areas of your life, creating discrepancies between who you are and what you do because your heart is desiring to tell the truth (even if you do not want to feel them). The adult self will reprimand the little one, when in fact the adult self should have allowed the little one to be honest at all cost….the cost of facing the pain, anger, the cost of not being liked or understood, the cost of rejection.
Love for self will eventually say “I am worth the cost”.
Though the process of moving past “people pleasing” (because perhaps you have not spoke the truth in fear that you will be rejected) will be difficult, you will reach a part of you heart that is authentic and you will be able to live out of authenticity versus people pleasing.
I am realizing that any form of addiction, “bad behavior” comes and swells from areas of your heart that you have shut down, unwilling to feel emotions, that is why you need a certain release because the truth of your emotions were not expressed. That is why people turn to self hating addictions or behaviors.
I have experienced this myself. The self willed discipline to be a certain way to society, to look a certain way. It came mostly from legalistic religious upbringing from institutions that loved the behaviors and not the person.
It taught people to not feel, to pretend to be positive and pretend to forgive yet with bitterness buried alive.
Self-will is useless. Only Spirit can enable you to be transformed. It is an inner transformation, not performance.
God sees the heart while people see outward appearance.
It has taught me to discern. Wisely.
But I have learned to be authentic with my true emotions.
Because emotions are valuable. Even if it is pain.
I have become stronger from within, as more people misunderstood me, the more I was able to face the pain of rejection and the more I became truthful with my heart.
The heart longs to be truthful, it needs to be expressed. Do not pretend, do not suppress them. We often fight our desires because of “shoulds”, no longer listening to the little child within. We try to discipline our hearts thinking we know better. The heart needs to express its true desire.