Living Against Cultural Norms

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Living Against Cultural Norms 11/25/2018, 9th day in Shanghai China, 4 months overseas, written in the middle of the night on my notebook.
I’ve gone through more challenges than I would care to experience following Jesus and ministering to people in different countries. It’s easy to hide behind a computer but when you are interacting and living with people on a daily basis you’ll face many objections and challenges.

For one, sexism.
Another, the spirit of intimidation and control (witchcraft).
Another, hurt.
There were times I had to ask people to put their phones on silent mode in the dorm rooms. In a 8 bed dorm room you’ll encounter plenty of people.

When I asked this guy to silence his phone as all kinds of sounds were coming from his phone (BTW the first night I got woken up by someone watching porn on their phone, no headphones), he ignored me and pretended I didn’t exist.

He finally got off his bed, which is the top bunk above mine.

When I confronted him, he looked away and pretended I didn’t exist.
Then he stared at me and said “are you crazy? Why are you staring at me?”
I was speechless.
This kind of person exists in this world?
When I told other chinese people about it they said I should just ignore it. They ignore many things. To them it’s part of life- longsuffering.

I believe God calls us to forgive and love our enemies, but He doesn’t call us to be silent.

In fact, a prophet is supposed to speak in the face of opposition, persecution and intimidation.

This week I also showed my past TV appearance videos to some people. They were shocked as I was “skinnier” and “prettier” back then, they said.

I said “I didn’t know who I was back then, I felt that I needed to put on makeup but now I don’t feel the need to put on a “face” for anyone.

But those words still affected me and I had to climb out of the “feeling of not being enough” hole. The truth is I didn’t each much back then out of the fear of lack and the fear of gaining weight. When moments like that occur I have to look at Jesus and reaffirm “I am enough in Christ Jesus”.

I had a dream last night I hadn’t changed water in a tank for 3 weeks and the fishes were in a really thick shampooed filled liquid.

I had another dream a woman pastor layed her hands on my head and I started sobbing. When I woke up I could hear myself crying.

The process of loving others is not easy. I find myself angry and hurt at times, laughing at other times.

I share my testimonies and of God’s grace to people who aren’t perfect- like me.
People who are scared of intimacy, vulnerability, letting anotone into their hearts, people who carry a spirit of lack and don’t feel like they are enough, people who feel guilt and shame and sometimes have no capacity to give me any love because they haven’t embraced God’s love.

Even though I experience joy in these friendships, I’m ultimately still a pastor, minister, prophet.

Its not a 2 way street. I may be sharing intimate parts of my heart but I am never to look for belonging or acceptance from people I minister to because my home is God, no one else.

Perhaps the joy I felt caused me to think that I’ve found new friends, but close friends are people who can actually level up with you.

God will humble you and cause your heart to be enlarged, but your heart will also have to process continual rejection and persecution.

Most of the time people don’t understand me but my job is to share what is on God’s heart and know my belonging is in God.

Being a pastor to the lost sheep is not easy.

It’s a calling for people who will surrender to their hearts continually to God.

It’s a calling for warriors.
It’s a calling for those who won’t give up in the face of strong opposition.

Sow a seed

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Don’t Stay Stuck

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Prophetic Word November 23, 2018
One of the tactic of the enemy is to make you think you’ve found your nest with people you think you belong with. But you know their true character.

They are not your destiny.

Your belonging is in Christ, not in people.
The enemy will send people to make you feel comfortable or familiar and because you’ve felt “alone” for so long you will think “maybe this is where I belong”, but

ARE they pushing you to GROW or allowing you to be STUCK in mud?

True friends will pull you out of the mud and not allow you to stay in it or even allow you to drown in mud.

Beward of wolves in sheep skin, they might even be your family members or friends.
A true prophet will not say what you want to hear but tell you the truth. A desire to fit in and be accepted by those around you will be detrimental to your growth.
You belong to God.
You are already accepted and approved by God.
Your only way is forward.

Beware of those who want to entertain you with mud (the past) because God wants you to move forward.
You must push through the familiar voices, they are distractions from your destiny and true freedom.

Beware of those who just say what you want to hear or give advice that allow you to stay stuck.
Not everyone will make it out. Some will stay in the mud.

You don’t dim your light to accommodate peoples’ darkness, you shine your light- even brighter to bring change to darkness.

 

Just because it feels comfortable doesn’t mean it’s a path from God. Sometimes the more you find your freedom the more you should face and confront difficult conversations and blockages. 

Because your path to FREEDOM comes with battles.

 

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Happiness Is Not Selfish

When you follow your heart, listen to your heart, act on your heart’s desires, you actually allow others to do the same.

Yesterday I was talking to a guy and I said “If peoples’ happiness depend on what you do or don’t do for them, isn’t their happiness based on sinking sand and not on inner peace? Many times Asians live for their families and parents but your parents need to find their own happiness too, it shouldn’t be dependent on your actions and what you decide to do with your life. THIS IS codependency! lt is unhealthy and is not healthy for both parties.
When you tell your truth you actually allow that person to grow as well. You are afraid of hurting that person’s feeling by creating healthy boundaries but you actually hurt them by not telling them. Because awareness leads to change if that person is willing to grow.”

FYI I am currently in Shanghai, China.

We were talking about how Chinese culture is very much about sacrificing for our family, and being “unhappy” for the sake of others.

Think Amy Tan.

But who said that being unhappy for others leads to their happiness.

That’s a total lie.

When you are happy, you actually give others permission to be happy. And happiness (in a healthy and whole way), not in a slave to desire kind of way. I’m talking about being fearless in your life, knowing you are enough kind of way. I’m not talking about a shopping spree happy kind of way, I’m talking about living out of your heart and not what society deems as happiness.

I told him- you are worthy.

I said you are actually in a season where you are opening your heart and showing your vulnerability, showing your weaknesses, being unafraid to to speak your truth….overcoming the fear of rejection.

This is a prophetic word for you.

Some of you have been in hiding but the Lord is saying to come out of hiding. Speak your truth, you are worthy. Tell your story, you are enough. Don’t be afraid of rejection because you know who you are in Christ Jesus.

The time is now.