Testimony Tuesday

Write your story with honesty and transparency. Maybe you will get criticized, but maybe and most likely you will set the captives free.

I’m wondering where I should start but I have been having dreams about telling my testimony.

I’ll start from the beginning then.

I was born in Hamburg, Germany. My parents moved there to study. They both spoke German but we are Taiwanese.

I moved a lot growing up. In fact, my mom was a backpacker like me. We weren’t the traditional Asian family. In fact, our lives were riddled with traveling, but often not on a luxurious budget.

I then moved to Taiwan and lived there until I was 8. Then I immigrated to America. My parents got divorced then.

I didn’t see my dad for 10 years. When I did see him, he was older, frail, not what I remembered. God took me through years and years of healing and forgiveness.

I can’t tell you how hard it was to forgive people in my life, but I know it’s supernatural.

My journey of faith was lifelong.

I knew God was always with me but I accepted Him when I was 12. From then on, I was already an outcast. I was just different. I was different in personality and style. My wardrobe was eclectic. I couldn’t fit in anywhere. My mom made my clothes so I didn’t have any brand name clothes. I felt less than because of that, I wanted to fit in but I didn’t have the money to.

So I earned my own money. I was plagued with feelings of unworthiness and started selling toys in 3rd grade. I started saving my own money because I wanted to be significant. 

This post is really about finance, identity, grace and God (your Abba Father).

SO I worked my ass off to be significant and worthy. I was selling stuff in middle school, under the table, very literally…while the teacher was talking. I was always entrepreneurial you see….but I didn’t know my identity in Christ. I also wanted to help my single mother.

I went onto pursue Fashion Design and Business, I saw my life with expectation and vision. I would climb the corporate ladder and (be miserable) like Devil Wears Prada. I wanted fame and status. I didn’t know why I wanted it exactly but everyone affirmed it, everyone applauded my goals, everyone was also running this rat race. 

Achievement and accomplishment was so ingrained and embedded in my identity that it took years to break off.

You see, even in church my accomplishments and DOING was applauded. 

The more I did and served in church, the more people applauded me. 

“you’re a great leader” they would say.

Things kind of hit the fan when one leader pushed undue responsibilities on me. “You didn’t take care of this person”- they said. I was probably 18 then? I thought to myself, how could I take care of others when I can’t even take care of myself.

I was dry. I had been wrung out with no more soap to go on. I was a really dry sponge.

Then some other mentor that I thought I could trust basically cursed me out.

I was forced out.

I wondered why.

I wondered why me. I was hurt.

Then I went on a pilgrimage, and it took many years to see myself right. I walked into the wilderness and I was confused. I knew I had greatness on my life but I didn’t know why I kept getting hit over and over again. Why was life so hard if I was supposed to be winning?

There’s more to be said but I’ll continue with this….

After years of trying to make it on my own, trying to be significant…I found myself following Jesus when He said to sell everything and follow Him. I had packed up my stuff in my friend’s garage and flew over to Hawaii to stay with another friend. I had gotten rid of my apartment, gotten rid of my car, and was off the radar.

On the outside, people had no idea that I was just obeying God. 

But you see, sometimes your obedience looks crazy to others. 

A year later, I was in Thailand. I had a one way ticket and everywhere I went I was simply following Holy Spirit. I didn’t go to vacation, I was simply exercising my faith. Because it wasn’t like I saved money to go, I had $1000 that I basically used up in Thailand. So now how did I go to Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore, etc. I’m not sure, things always worked out. Did I do it with fear and trembling? Yes. But I saw God move and He used me to speak into peoples’ lives.

I found myself pushing a suitcase on the streets of downtown and staying in a Korean spa. I could have contacted people but God told me specifically not to. Why? He wanted me to trust Him, not people.

But God showed up in ways I never would have expected (I’ll have to write a book someday).

God taught me grace- that grace is not something I work for but something I receive and inherit because JESUS died for me to have it. 

I learned what it REALLY means to be a child of God.

Many people become Christians but never activate and use their faith. They stay stagnant and unchanging because they don’t realize that faith must be exercised.

You will not receive the PROMISE LAND if you trust in your own efforts. You must go forward, empty handed sometimes.

I am stronger now in Christ than when I was strong in my flesh. 

THERE IS A BIG transition and change coming and I know that many of you (myself included) is wondering HOW GOD is going to do it. But I promise you that He will do it, somehow. Because HE HAS done it before. 

“In my frequent journeys, I have been in danger from rivers and from bandits, in danger from my countrymen and from the Gentiles, in danger in the city and in the country, in danger on the sea and among false brothers, in labor and toil and often without sleep, in hunger and thirst and often without food, in cold and exposure.

Apart from these external trials, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches….If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, who is forever worthy of praise, knows that I am not lying..” 2 Corinthians 11

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Amsterdam, Holland

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Amsterdam, Holland12184291_10156181977115603_7337344419047455587_o

Hanoi, Vietnam- 12182820_10156181978565603_8331432383287719801_o

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Melaka, Malaysia

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Melaka, Malaysia 13327544_10156986869925603_3062478034808944178_n

Morocco

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A Life With No Plan B

A Life With NO Plan B

Every upgrade and levels in our life requires a TRANSITION PERIOD/SEASON. I know, most of us hate waiting. We want things instantaneously.

There are days I trust God, I can rest in His grace, I know He is able…but there are days I can’t get my mind off of what’s not happening, or on my current circumstances. When that happened this morning, I was reminded to worship. I realize I was focusing more on the circumstances instead of Jesus. 

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13 

Joseph Prince said “when we start to SEE, that’s when we lose faith”, because we are SEEING with earthly eyes and not on what GOD is doing. We live by FAITH and not by SIGHT.

I’ve walked this NO PLAN B journey with God after I graduated from COLLEGE and quit my full time job. I went backpacking in Australia for 2 months, when I got back I sold jewelry, I lived the hippie life in Silverlake. I went from one LEVEL to ANOTHER.

I felt His calling, GO, and I would GO. I went to Ecuador, Brazil, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore…I went without a plan B, often times fearing that I would be stranded without financial provisions, but somehow it would work out. I would meet the people I was meant to meet.

Plan A was this, trust God, Go with GOD, and BE God’s light wherever I went. 

Was it scary, hells YES.

But each time I trusted Him to bring me through, I would see more of His love and character. God is unchanging- He will bring you through the storms of life just to show you that He is not MAN that He should lie. You are untouchable when you have God with you. 

Abraham was told to leave his father’s house and go to a land that God would show him.

Ummmm….which land? How?

That’s what we would ask, or I would ask…..but through God’s leading in the last few years I realized, I never really knew where I was going until I got to the “land” before the next “land”.

For example, I lived in Pasadena for a few years, but then He told me to sell everything and follow Him. Then He said “Hawaii”, so I went to Hawaii for 2 weeks. Then when I got back, I didn’t feel led to tell my friends and family I was back…so I was at a hotel with my one backpack, and I called my friend “I have no idea where I am going”. I was scared because even though I enjoyed my time in Hawaii, it was like Now what?

She said, “you can stay with me”.

Then I was there for a week, two weeks, a month, a few months.

Then I packed up everything again, this time Thailand was fiercely on my heart, it had been for a year. I went with $1000, with no return ticket.

This time, God would whisper a “land” after my work was done in one “land”. Vietnam, He would say. I couldn’t control anything really. But then I would meet a missionary, or a new friend, and it was like Kismet. It was encouraging when I met these divine encounters, that’s when I knew I was at the right place at the right time. I was there for them and vice versa.

Then eventually I ran out of cash, and somehow I would survive, even if it was with a credit card I didn’t know would work, I survived. Even if it was selling my tablet at some sketchy stall in Malaysia, it paid for a week of my prison cell sized room. Even if it was holy spirit arranging me to help a new bed and breakfast with social media in exchange for room and board.

But it wasn’t really about that. It was learning to TRUST GOD, to go with God and to know that God was with me. 

Are you willing to go into the unknown without a plan b?

It is scary as hell.

Truthfully, He was showing me “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added onto you”….but more importantly….

“I’m reliable, I’m your God, I’m your best friend” and through all this I grew closer in intimacy with the creator of the world. In Bali, Indonesia, I got into a moped accident in my eagerness to be like the author of Eat, Pray, Love….I ended up spending a week in bed. I was alone and my foot felt like it was rotting. I had a hard time showering….

But who was enough for me, Jesus was.

So whatever you are going through, hold on. He is close to your heart. Reach out to the perfect God who loves you. Cry, sing, be vulnerable with Him. He will provide the rest you need.

We often try to control what we think we need in order to feel safe. That can be our income, our living situation, our career, our friendships, our relationships….but truthfully, if you have Jesus, you can be in the worse situation and feel peace. 

It’s definitely worth trying- it’s a “risky” way to live, following Jesus, but you will find out…it’s riskier to rely on the things of this world because there is no peace in it.

So what is God calling you to do? It may just be to trust Him and wait for His timing. It may be to go without knowing where. It may be something else.

A lot of people reply to my stories “omg I would never be able to do that! I would never be able to travel alone and sometimes with no money?!”

Well, I don’t know what to say, but it’s because of Jesus, just Jesus. 

Purple Weed Cake

My craziest, well, I’ve HAD A LOT OF CRAZY travel experiences as a solo backpacker, but the weed cake in Amsterdam was PRETTY crazy.

I am not a drug user, I’ve never tried any hardcore drugs. I’ve only drank. And smoked weed (socially). But THE WEED CAKE from Amsterdam did me in. I only planned 2-3 nights there because the hostels were really expensive compared to the rates I was paying in other cities. After a 9 hour bus ride from London (in 2014), I got picked up from the bus station by a friend I met at King King (LA), which used to play really cool house music, but it is unfortunately now CLOSED. I used to go to King King with my older friends (well, not much older…haha, like 2-3 years older). My younger friends didn’t really understand what the heck it was about, you see it was about the MUSIC and the DANCING, not instagram.

Anyways, we had a meal, caught up and I went up.

It was the cheapest hostel in Amsterdam, which meant you literally lived across a 24 hour club banging loud music….I don’t know how I fell asleep at all. 

But you know being semi- adventurous, I met some random friend in the lounge the next day, which happens to be purple, and he was like “hey, I heard there’s this really good weed cake, want to split one?” We found the cafe, owned by Armenians, I think, and we bought the famous weed cake he was talking about.

Anyways, we split it. We actually split it.

The last time I ate weed was when my friend made a cookie, I only ate a bit of it and when I was trying to drift off to sleep, I felt like there was a bug crawling in my stomach. Talk about paranoid.

Anyways, nothing happened.

But then I got really hungry and went to the only place I could afford with my budget, Burger King. Stupidly, I got a freaken coffee! And a meal. I devoured the load.

The coffee came sweeping up on me like a explosion of heartbeats and stars. I remembered my friend Munir told me not to drink coffee.

I was NOT okay.

I had to lie down fast or I was going to faint or have an epileptic attack.

I walked to my hostel mixed dorm room and climbed up to my bunk bed. I don’t know how much time past, but I literally saw my hand shaking. I called my boyfriend at the time, who I met in London, I said “I’m going to die, I’m dying”. He said “you sound okay to me”.

No really I’m dying.

I don’t know how much time past, but I kept staring at the clock scared that I would miss my bus tomorrow. I climbed down once, threw up, stared at the mirror, my eyes bloodshot. Was I dreaming? I climbed up again, how did I manage not to fall. I was not used to be out of control. I was a control freak really, I mean how else could I backpack on my own and not get kidnapped?

I projectile vomited a few times, one time I couldn’t hold it in and sort of sprayed into some of those Australian mates’ massive pile of stinky clothes and bags, there was even a doll in there. Like what?

The worse was when the purple swirly Victorian style wallpaper turned into Buddha. My heart was racing and this nice Samaritan gave me a drink of her water. 

Later we would bump into each other in Berlin. 

It was in the afternoon. I found myself playing worship music and praying in tongues. I forgave all my enemies and asked God to forgive me for hating on people.

I got my heart right somehow, I don’t know why, but I felt that if I died in that Amsterdam bunk bed, next to filthy stinky shit that belonged to these filthy mates, I’d be okay. Apparently, I even talked to some people, but half way I’d stop.

“where are you from?” – said stranger.

“I’m from LA”- Said me.

“How long are you traveling for?”

me- “uhhhh”. Blank out, I’m dying, I think.

Ran to bathroom, throw up, stare at mirror, ran back to bunk bed, am I alive, am I in some sort of Tom Cruise movie? Everything was like seconds of a film, it was a movie.

This is what came of that day.

download

You can order your own print here: https://society6.com/product/amsterdam-wz8_print#s6-2691391p4a1v45

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The sketch, the cafe, and the hostel cat and I recovering.

I’ll always have stories to tell. Moral of the story, some good art might come from a horrific experience, and sometimes they wake us up to a spiritual reality.

Happy 5 Year Anniversary To Me!

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5 years since I left that moldy office.

As a celebration, the super self published ebook is $9.99 for today only. https://payhip.com/b/6zoT

Here’s an excerpt of a 100 page book I have not touched for a year, that still needs some writing..

May 15, 2012- On my adventures in Ecuador. 

Hi Friend!

I ́ve finally got the time to blog about my first 2 days

in Ecuador. The manager of the internet place just

asked me if I ́m married, it ́s not likely that random

strangers will make conversation with you by asking

about your boyfriend or spouse. He said, “your

boyfriend is in Ecuador?”. To which I said “America”.

I ́m in a random hole in the wall internet cafe, except

there is no coffee. It ́s called a “cabina”. I rode in a 5

hour bus to Tena from Quito today.

What I ́ve fortunately realized is that Ecuador is

probably the most beautiful place on earth, and

also the people are one of the kindest people on

earth as well. Unlike the pre- warnings that “omg”,

you are going to get robbed and beware of men

there, men in fact, especially the older ones have

been like papas to me. Today on the bus, I met a bus

driver who helped me find a hostel and find my way

around Tena. Then previously, a medicine salesman

helped me get to the terminal and take the right bus

to Tena.

He was very kind, though I don ́t understand why he

said he wanted to see a movie with me when I

already told him I had a boyfriend.

I paid 10 bucks to stay at a hostel. The hostel has a

little gap above the door so you can hear what drama

the owners are watching. The amazonias get really

cold at night, though during the day, it ́s like living

24-7 in a hot steam bath. I feel yucky. It feels like

living in Taiwan. The night, the markets do resemble

Taiwan markets from 15 years ago. Though Taiwan is

now much cleaner and more modernized.

I was thinking about how I ́m the only asian woman

walking on the street.

Sometimes you start to feel like an exotic animal

that everyone stares at. Now I know how white

people feel in Asia, except in this case, it ́s an Asian

in Ecuador. Staring is very normal, it seems.

The concept of private space does not exist here.

Personal space? What? When people point to tell you

something, they definitely cross your American

space, bypassing the normal boundaries of your

boobs. Of course, I ́m crossed and pissed. Though I

have realized, hey, they are not the only ones.

Sometimes they don ́t stop talking until you tell

them, ”I ́m going to take a nap”.

This morning, I was freaking out about how I would

get to Tena, I prayed. Then, when I was buying a 30

cent comb the medicine salesman happened to be

going there. Thank god! I would say, Ecuadorians are

WAY more hospitable than people in LA. I mean no

one in LA would take the time to help you.

Plus, if you think about it, no one goes walking in

Skidrow at night anyways. All the things you do at

home, is what you would do in a foreign country.

Speaking of foreign, I hope that I never act foreign,

besides the language barrier. I hope I ́m never

someone that treats locals with disrespect. I was

analyzing and observing today, and thinking about

what it means to be foreign.

And of course, how everything my American friends

warned me of, happens to be 99 percent not true. Of

course, we have to be careful wherever we go, but my

time in Ecuador, for the two days, have proven to be

positive…besides feeling like an exotic animal and

the sometimes ̈freaking annoying remarks

“cheennnnaaa” as in Chinese. Because the very idea

that a Chinese would come from Los Angeles seems

so foreign, I have to try really hard to be patient.

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The nice man who helped me find a hostel

The Process of Leaving Los Angeles – Thailand Sept 12

Wow traveling can be a b#tch.

Oh I meant the preparation part.

By no means do I have a savings account with tons of cash to travel. I’m winging it. In fact I’m leaving in a bit over a week, and I probably have enough to buy one month phone service. Actually since I’ve already been self-employed for so long, I realize today I’m not traveling, I’m just living in other countries while still building my empire.

But here’s the deal, you can sponsor me by donating on paypal Rebekkalien@gmail.com (pick family or friends) or Click here to sponsor!

If you have benefitted at ALL by my writing, inspirational podcasts, and everything that I have given to the world for FREE, then you have the opportunity to give back. You can donate $10, which will get me 5-10 meals or a hostel bed in some remote jungle. Or you can sponsor $1000, which will probably help me for a month.

I believe I am carrying Wayne Dyer and Oprah’s torch, so Wayne, if you are up there listening, send some angels to help me. Because shit is getting tough and I have no idea how I’m supposed to get everything together, the product sponsorships, money, po box, etc together. Wayne- it’s going to be okay. R- I know but my brain is going ballistic. Wayne- trust God. R- ugh.

So that’s my conversation with Wayne. This blog post is for you Wayne, you inspired me to wear white pants, you reminded me that when the time is right I’ll meet the right publisher, you showed me how to live inspired, not stressed. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Wayne. Thank you mom for giving birth to me.

Now I shall disappear from LA for a couple of months, 6 months, a year….who knows. I won’t starve I don’t think. I won’t get kidnapped, but I’ll have faith that I’ll walk the line. The thin line and jump face forward, planking my way through a few countries at a time.

Wayne, this is for you. Have a beer in heaven for me!

My Crazy Dream Begins

I just booked a one way ticket to Bangkok, Thailand.

How I feel right now:

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Get my ebook here!!!

Your support is appreciated!

How To Travel The World Without Breaking The Bank

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email me at rebekkalien@gmail.com

I decided to address this question “how do you afford to travel?”

First off, I’d like to say that I’ve traveled and moved all my life. I was born in Germany, moved to Taiwan, then to LA. I’m used to a migratory life and actually get bored if I stay in one place for too long. I’m what they call a third culture kid.

Second of all, my parents were backpackers too. My mom said one time she camped out in a tent in snowing and freezing weather. She drove 10 hours straight without stopping while my brother and I were asleep in the back. I am used to travel and I sleep very well in transportation such as planes and trains. It’s in my blood because my mom was an adventurer.

So in essence, traveling is not something that’s luxurious to me, it’s a way of life. Travel is a way of life. It’s a choice. For example, I could buy the newest version of the apple laptop or I can decide to live for experience and spend that money on a flight. I can go binge drinking with people or I can enjoy a glass of wine at happy hour. 

You don’t need to be Einstein.

Third, I’ve been self-employed for 4 years so career, travel, life hacking is my specialty. I can find a good deal at a department store or a discount store, it doesn’t matter, I’ve hacked deals before. Travel is not anything different. You can get my ebook “How To Make Money Doing What You Love” here! Being an entrepreneur was a choice I made. I made a commitment to my own happiness. I quit my full time job because I wanted to be happy and when you follow your bliss, you will live your bliss, even if there are hardships on your journey….in the end you know you did it because you committed to your own happiness. That is key. So the whole “how can I afford it” isn’t in the question. How can you afford to be unhappy in this lifetime? If you truly want to be happy, you will do whatever it takes to follow your dreams.

Here are common objections:

1. I don’t have money- First off, as I write in my book, it’s not HARD to sell off your shit. STOP playing the victim game and sell your unnecessary shit already. People have STORAGE rooms in AMERICA, shit they don’t even NEED!!!! OMG, sell it and live your dreams. STOP making excuses and be creative. There is a solution to your “broke” – ness. I know because being an entrepreneur meant thinking of creative ways to pay rent. I’m not a trust fund kid and never got allowance from my mom, so people who say they don’t have money….-.-! You’re being ridiculous, no offense.

Plus you’re living the victim mentality. That will get you nowhere. You are more creative, more awesome than you’ll ever know. But you have to believe it first.

Solution: Make your priorities priorities. If travel is on the top of your list, stop wasting money on shit you don’t need or want. For example, the 10th thousands shoes you bought because you really neeeeeeddddd it to show people who don’t care about you that you’re cool. Oh okay.

Not all travel costs money. There are ways to make money while traveling, like selling your ebooks, selling stuff on ebay. You can read about this on my ebook. 

I’ve couchsurfed for 2 weeks at a time in Paris and Sao Paulo, I have met random strangers and stayed with them. I’ve found really great hotel deals, I’ve gotten free stays for writing about the location or hotel. Hostels costs $5-$10 in countries like Ecuador or Czech Republic.

I also made a decision that I wanted to live a life of travel, that means my career takes me places. In May I got to speak at a women’s conference and they covered my hotel stay, food, transportation. I’ve gotten paid for speaking, I’m a prophetess that delivers life changing messages and people love hearing what I have to say so they are happy to host me.

If you know what you have to offer this world, traveling shouldn’t be a luxury for the super rich, it should be part of who you are. I have made life time connections on airplanes, in bathrooms, at bus stops. I know that God sends me around the world to make amazing spiritual connections, to impact people, to inspire people to dream again or to point out something they’ve neglected to do in order to pursue their dreams. I believe the world is full of sleeping giants and I know that I’ve been chosen to be the catalyst. I have that effect on people.

People start living their dreams or they start believing that they can live their dreams because they see me living it. 

Because I know my purpose in this life, I make my vision, purpose, desires, talents, skills and personality all come together. That is living YOUR DREAMS.

I also made a choice that because I want a life of travel, I’d rather not have my own apartment or furnitures. I sold almost everything I had, my couch, my bed, dishes, etc. I wanted to be free as the spirit led me to pick up and go. I’ve become a minimalist so that I can focus on what really matters to me: Love, Community, Creative, Freedom.

It’s not that I don’t like stability, it’s because stability is in my heart.

I’ve truly NEVER felt happier because I’m free to live a life of travel.

2. I don’t have time- Well, if you’re working a job you hate, quit already. No one is putting a gun to your head to live a life you hate. Second of all, if you’re spending your time doing anything you don’t like, why live at all? 

Solution: Live 100% of your time on this life doing what you love.

3. I’m scared I’ll get robbed, kidnapped, raped even- those are possibilities even where you live or outside your door. You can live in fear your whole life or choose to overcome by doing.

Solution: Focus on what you want to happen- like amazing adventures meeting awesome people. Second, be smart and wise. Don’t go in dark alleys and watch your drinks. Try to meet kind people while traveling, so when you go out with them, you can feel safe. Plus Americans think every other country is dangerous…when our country probably is the most dangerous.

Have I come back from a trip feeling broke? Yes, have I been emptied of all my cents and dollars?

Yes.

But was that the end of my world?

No.

Because I know how to create income.

So you should get my ebook, because I highly recommend it.

You can get my ebook “How To Make Money Doing What You Love” here! 

XOXO BEX

BTW what are my travel plans? I’m waiting for my renewed 52 page passport, I’m waiting to hear about Rorotonga and I should be going to Thailand/Southeast Asia.

how to make money doing what you loveGet

You are also invited to join us at our Smart Spiritual Sexy Mixer!

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