I had a dream I needed to stay at my friend’s house and the building used to have a bunch of boxes and spider webs and I was explaining to this guy I used to like that I used to sleep on the second floor and now the first floor, even out in the living room. 

The building was clean, no cow webs.

There were two guys and they were jealous, they wanted to get close to me.

I woke up with a salsa dance song in my head.

It’s mexican.

Yesterday I was dancing salsa with a few strangers, they were all mexican.

The last few months, everyday I was meeting Mexicans everyday.

I guess my connection with Mexicans is very strong.

I like how they like to dance, party and celebrate life. They like to have fun. Their culture is a reflection of the childlike nature within me.

I grew up in a tumultuous home. When I was younger my parents fought a lot. I still have a clear vision in my head where they were throwing things at each other and they grabbed me and fought for me. There was lots of shouting and so I did the safest thing I could think of, I hid under my table and played by myself all day.

That may be why I had minor scoliosis and I can’t bend my back a certain way. But any I pray complete healing over my back in Jesus name.

My dad left and my parents divorced. We left for America, we left the remains of yesterday. 

But today I woke up with no animosity or tension in my heart. I felt that I was finally getting my joy back. I was no longer angry at the conservatives who hurt me, I was no longer angry at my parents, at friends who betrayed at me, people who persecuted me.

Why? Because I’ve learned to dance again.

You have to find the things that bring you joy. You can’t sit brooding, being angry or sad. The devil loves to steal your joy. He would love to get you stuck on the past, he wants people to focus on a virus, he wants people to hide in their houses. 

I was so angry at people, I was so sad, I was hurt but God healed my heart.

How can I stay angry at people when I can dance and enjoy my life? Why waste another minute of my life living in regret? When I can enjoy my life? Why allow people to steal your energy, time and joy?

I know God is bringing my husband too. Like I said I’ve been meeting men everyday, sure, people I’m ministering to on the road but the more I feel this joy in my heart, the more I can feel my husband’s heart. I can feel it is approaching me.

You know how I’m led by the Spirit? I can feel my heart being led to the people. When I meet them, I can feel whatever their heart is feeling. 

It’s coming, all that you’ve been waiting for. If you trust your heart enough to be led by your heart.

Trust your heart as it has always been leading you.

Dance on the grave of yesterday.

It’s all in the past.

Live today like it’s a party. Laugh and dance, don’t live another day waiting for tomorrow. 

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God has been bringing me lost sheep (right now mostly Christians/Catholics who have walked away from Jesus or not fully committed to Him, some are also atheists, agnostics, etc.) that are males, so I meet at least 2-3 men a day.

Last night there was a man on the bus and the Lord told me to talk to him. He said he got of prison and his ex-wife took his kid away so he needed prayer to get his kid back. I’m like “wow at least you are trying, I feel like my dad never tries”. I prayed and prophesied that he would be a preacher. He was an ex-gangster. He also took the wrong bus I believe so that we could meet. I honestly was a bit done talking to people, but God pointed an arrow at him.

As I am getting ready for marriage- dealing with the issues I have with men, I’m kind of amazed at how many issues I have with men (mostly dealing with my absent father). 

My dad cheated on my mom and they divorced when I was 8. I dated some men in my twenties but had a long term relationship of 2.5 years. That relationship traumatized me because not only was he absent at times (disappearing for 2-3 days with no notice), he was also controlling when he was present. He was afraid to face his emotions, open up and be vulnerable and his way of confronting his fears was to disappear or to control me. 

I’ve met thousands of people in the last 2 years. 2 years ago, God gave me a dream about men’s faces, it was like Tinder. I was swiping and God said “get ready”. These last 5 months I’ve met numerous male divine encounters. God has shown me how to have patience with men, grace for men, understanding for men, forgiveness.

A couple of days ago, I met two 21 men back to back by divine appointment. I met both of them on the bus as the Lord pointed them out. I talked to them. They were both trying to hit on me, leading with their sexuality. I then found out when talking to man #1 that he was molested by his babysitter when he was 5 while she was 22. 

I then understood why he was so sexual, there was an open door through the sexual trauma he experienced. I then prayed to close any doors in his spirit. After I prayed for him, he said that he felt bad because he felt that he was a sinner. I told him that he was washed clean by the blood of Jesus as He was also Christian. 

The issues I hear about sometimes overwhelm me. I’m like “okay, maybe I just won’t talk to people”. But God showed me that He was exercising and opening my heart to love…but I can’t say that it has been easy. 

Everyday is intense for me.

It causes me to pray without ceasing. It causes me to cry without abandon. Yesterday I cried on the train and I started weeping when I got off the train. I cried in front of everyone and I didn’t care. 

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Tomorrow is my birthday!

Not to start with a sob fest or anything but the last couple of years have been disappointing. I was in my wilderness season and didn’t really have friends to celebrate with, and even if I did I didn’t have the heart to. I really felt depressed.

So honestly I didn’t get any gifts except maybe from my mom. So if you want to give a birthday gift the links are below. I also didn’t get Christmas presents for a few years.

It won’t be like this forever, the dry and weary seasons of your life, the seasons you feel alone and are struggling.

I know it’s ending for me. For one, I actually have a friend this year that I got to celebrate with. It’s already better. I got a gift this year.

I have people that love me. 

I lost many friends in the season God launched me into ministry. There were many misunderstandings and many probably divinely assisted friend breakups. It had to happen for me to move on. But it still hurt.

I spent my last birthday in Australia, celebrating with a small group of Christians that I just met. It felt foreign but my heart was happy to be with people.

One birthday a few years ago, I was healing from a relationship breakup and I was tired of seeing relatives for my birthday (who would probably criticize me instead of celebrate me, or perhaps gossip about me) so I went to Catalina Island and then God had me bump into Kris Holden Reid, an actor.

He was my favorite actor at that point but I forgot who he was…I thought I had met him at church or something.

This year my friend and I went to an after Oscar party, which turned out to be a bit boring but we met someone who met for Jimmy Kimmel and a few 19 year old actors who were full of life and quite handsome.

I REALLY HATE THAT I DON’T HAVE NEW SHOES. Look at these summer wedges, they don’t match but I AM MAKING THEM WORK.

I NEED NEW SHOES ASAP but finding comfortable cute shoes is like finding your husband, it’s like WHEN LORD!~ 

Also please be in prayer for me…

This morning I woke up to Target saying someone tried to charge my credit card…praise God it didn’t go through but I’ll have to change all my passwords.

A few months ago my phone was stolen. I mean the enemy is trying hard ….but I DECREE THIS-

“Dear Child,

I am so PROUD of you. I love who you are. You are so beautiful in my eyes. You don’t need to do anything to make me love you more. I am so proud of you.  I love you so much. I have plans to prosper you and to make you happy. I love you the way that you are. You don’t have to change a thing. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do and if I tell you something, it’s not to hurt you, it’s to help you. Do you believe me? Do you believe that I love you?” – Jesus

Last night I wanted to go dance and my mother said, you’re out all day and you want to go out again. She said “you want the best, but you won’t take responsibility”.

I suddenly felt like I wasn’t doing enough, to be responsible or something. But then I was like “that’s a lie”. I’m a child of God, not a slave. He has given me freedom to enjoy my life. God’s timing is perfect. You are not under PUNISHMENT, Jesus was punished on the cross for you.

But I wanted to share this video with you.

YOU ARE DOING ENOUGH. AND YOU ARE ENOUGH.

YOU DESERVE TO HAVE FUN, JESUS PAID FOR IT!

As I was praying I felt this weight come off my shoulder, physically and a release in my heart that was tense.

YOU’RE A CHILD OF GOD. A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN UNDER PERSECUTION LATELY AND GOD IS SAYING YOU’VE DONE ENOUGH AND YOU’RE ENOUGH.

I DON’T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus – Romans 8:1

Sow a Seed (make a donation)- thank you and blessings towards you.

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Well I was at the Abbey the other day and my phone got stolen when I was dancing. 

I felt a moment of despair, this is what I get for letting my guard down. I was dancing with new friends I met. I was having fun, didn’t have a care in the world. This is what I get?

The Iphone was a gift from a friend, the newest one, I only had it for 2 months. 

I was sad, but the next few days I felt guilt. I felt a lot of guilt. I felt like I could have prevented it by listening to God or maybe not going to the club. I was hard on myself. I was mad too. I felt that God had blessed me and taken it away from me. I had plans for the phone. I was going to make more videos and films, I was going to produce things and create more things on there (I feel like this is an analogy of people in our lives…how we plan for things to work out and they don’t and we have no control over it).

Maybe I should have just gone home when I felt like the clubs weren’t fun enough, maybe I should have given up at one point and not look for fun. But I was looking for the funnest club and I found myself free, dancing without a care in the world. I met people I found “home” in too, I bumped into a couple I met last time.

I have been stressed out about finances, trying to be in control of the future, trying to figure out the future, but I just wanted to let go and have fun. My mother had been yelling at me, accusing me of not having a normal job, and I was processing all this childhood pain and healing. God had given me a stop sign from pursuing acting. I felt completely out of control of my life and emotions.

It was just too much. I realized through a dream that I just needed to let go and have fun.

But then my phone got stolen. In addition, I started to feel sick, I started coughing and had a sore throat.

I met a great guy and had his phone number, but I had doubt in my heart and that night had a dream I was singing “I don’t trust people” in broadway format. The next day I called him and said “Sorry to ask you this, I have trust issues…no offense, but did you steal my phone?” He was so offended, said he had helped me try to find it, how could I think otherwise, then hung up. He said he didn’t need bad vibes that weekend. I said sorry. I have trouble trusting people.  That was the end.

SO THEN Yesterday I went to Pasadena, I wasn’t sure if I was hearing right as I’ve been feeling condemned and condemnation really affects your hearing. (because you start He being legalistic, you feel like you can do something right to prevent something wrong from happening, but that’s just a lie, because in God’s eyes, He will always protect you by the finished blood of Jesus).

I went to this restaurant and immediately met a girl with tattoos. We had a lot in common and I told her this vision “I see your mom yelling at you, because of this you have trouble saying no to people. But remember it’s okay to speak up for yourself” and then I told her she will be an actress.

Again, a confirmation from God. God speaks to me through me speaking to people.

I was about to go home and was waiting for the bus.

This guy I met two years ago on the bus was there. I said hey. We started talking about our parents and he said he was in a relationship where his ex tried to kill him.

One night she got a skateboard and hit him over the head. He went into a coma and she went to prison. He has since feared getting a girlfriend.

So before I got off the bus I prayed for him “You are a child of God, not an orphan. I break off the fear of death and the spirit of death. God is so proud of you, you are a warrior for him”. He said he felt really strange, in a good way and he started crying.

I said “you are entering a season of joy and leaving the season of grief”.

Somehow that’s how I feel now.

What do you feel like you’ve lost and how is your heart doing? That night I felt like I also lost a friend by having the question that maybe he stole my phone. In a weird way, my heart feels like it’s grieving a breakup of a relationship.

I feel like I can’t control what life will bring me. One moment I’m dancing, the next I’m grieving. I feel out of control. It seems one moment someone can like you, another hate you. It seems that one moment you can be thriving and another you are down.

Remember, it’s not your fault. Don’t punish yourself, God took on every punishment on the cross. 

God we don’t get why bad things happen sometimes but we are choosing to trust you. WE are entering a season of joy and celebration and don’t let the enemy steal your joy. Take time to be with Jesus and let Him comfort your wounds.

Sow a Seed (make a donation)- thank you and blessings towards you. 

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I know this is probably ridiculous….but this is how I feel:

Is it possible to have a soul tie to a phone?

Now I look for that orange case, and you’re not there anymore.

I look, but I feel an absence.
Maybe we were codependent. I relied on you too much.
Instead of talking to people, I talked to Siri.
I googled facts instead of feeling my emotions.
I ran away from my pain, trying to watch korean reality shows.
Now I really have to process the pain that I’ve neglected to feel.

Do you ever feel like you have become codependent on something or someone? Instead of going to God, feeling the pain inside, you stay busy (with plans, people, work) to avoid the pain?

Sow a Seed (make a donation)- thank you and blessings towards you.

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WE don’t win people over to Jesus with our actions, we win people over to Jesus by saying look how imperfect I am but how finished the work of grace is. I’m made new and whole because of Jesus blood!

Yes look at how incapable I am but how capable God has been despite my ineptness.

I wish they taught this at church growing up. We are not to point to how loving we are or how great our performance is, but the finished work of Jesus which made us whole.

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Dear mom,

I am so glad I failed you and I’m glad I’m living on a cot. I’m glad I don’t have the career you want me to have and I didn’t go to seminary. I’m glad you don’t understand me and I’m glad you can’t boast about me to your friends.

Why? Because then you won’t try to get approval or worth from my performance or achievements.

Then you can find your self worth from Jesus Christ, knowing you’re a child of God.

I’m glad I disappointed you.

I hope you can then turn to Jesus for your self worth, and not put your hopes and dreams into me.

You’re a child of God.

I’m a child of God.

We can now be set free from trying to be each other’s happiness.

Rebekka

As much as I wanted to go back to sleep, my brain started running and I realize I needed to write down what I was hearing from the Lord.

This year I need your help to partner with me and see more of God’s purposes come to life: My goal is to raise $2020 a month, for now to cover (God willing) a place for me to move into (God willing to create a house church) and when God allows, a car. Please be in prayer for me.

The vision for 2020-

1. To make disciples and bring the knowledge Jesus to those who don’t know Him.
2. To set believers free from shame, condemnation and fear and train “freedom fighters” to set others free. To train people in hearing God and following His heart.
3. To expand my reach via social media, blog, podcast and youtube and preach the message of GRACE AND FREEDOM
4. To create a community of believers, bring together the misfits and believers who are spirit filled or have been rejected by traditional churches
5. To be a light in the entertainment industry and whatever God calls me into

Yesterday I asked a lady on instagram for donations as the Lord had instructed me to do, but she claimed that if God wanted her to give, the holy spirit would have moved her. In addition, God would have told me that she didn’t have money.

I immediately sensed a religious spirit. 

In fact, I know fear is a stronghold in many believers. When I first started fundraising I was afraid what people would think of me. Would they believe that I was actually a prophet? Would they think I was lying? Would they judge me?

This is a “fear of men”- meaning it’s a fear of what people would think and God wants to break that off believers. 

Another misconception from the religious mindset is that “if you trust God” you will not ask people to give. 

You are robbing people of the right and privilege of giving. God multiplies every seed that you give. Do you think the enemy doesn’t know that? That is why he plants seeds of doubt and lies in peoples’ mind to make them think that it is shameful for a prophet, leader, pastor to ask for money. The enemy wants you to think that preachers of the word just want your money. 

When you think you don’t have any money you will not give, but God’s kingdom stems from seeds.

The misconception is that if you’re doing something altruistic, you should do it without asking for anything in return. 

Again, that is a religious mindset.

You give seeds of finances to break YOURSELF free from bondages of fear (the fear of lack and feeling of not being enough).

It is a spirit of mammon that most people are in bondage to- not a spirit of sonship.

People define their worth by how much they have, not who they are. 

You are a son and daughter of God, not someone defined by what you have.

That is why in order to break off the spirit of lack and mammon I had in my life God told me to sell everything to follow Him. So I gave everything I had away. Because I was defining my life by what I had, not WHO I was or who GOD was for me (the father and the provider). 

Why does God tell me to ask people for donations instead of God inspiring people to give? Yes, sometimes He does. He inspires people to give.

But often times, He tells me to ask.

Why?

1. Because there is no fear in love.
2. Ask and you shall receive.
3. Breakthrough comes from perseverance and not living in fear.
4. Because He is training people to communicate

The disciples in the bible didn’t live in their head. They asked their family to financially support them in preaching the message of grace. They didn’t sit there and say “I’m trusting God”, they acted upon what God spoke to them. Elijah asked a widow for food, Esther spoke up to the King, Paul asked believers to give.

God does not give us a spirit of FEAR. So yes, I might be misunderstood by some but I will still do what God tells me. GOD GAVE US A MOUTH TO SPEAK. The reason a lot of ministers don’t ask for help is because of the fear of men and low self worth (which is also a spirit of lack).

DO YOU WANT TO LIVE A FEARLESS LIFE? 

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Become a support this year and get set free of every limitation in your life. I will be covering you in prayer and want to hear from you as well. 

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Prayer and prophetic words for protection over accusations and attacks of the enemy

I heard God say ask people to sow in 5 (grace)If you’re able to sow $5, $50, $500 and so forth or any numbers of 5 to support this ministry or 2, (for double portion) $20, $22, $220, $200, $2000.

You can sow here-
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If the Spirit leads me to prophesy I will email you back with a word. But remember I’m like Jeremiah the prophet, I deal with the hardest things and it’s not always what people want to hear.

You can of course write any prayer requests on the comment section when you send a donation. I would be happy to connect with those who receive me as a prophet and want to be blessed by being connected to me. You become family to me, not just a random donor. This means I cover you in prayer and if God beings you to mind, I’ll always deliver that word to you.

Some people are really offended and get angry when I tell them what I hear. My job is to free you, not to make you happy for the moment.

Prophetic word- double portion is coming. Your husband/wife is coming! This is the final healing!

Stand in the season I’ve given you and do not be swayed by those around you. If God has told you to rest do not be overcome by the need to hustle.

If I’ve said to go somewhere or you have a strong desire to do something, do not allow others to stop you with their logic and man’s way of thinking.

Today I was on the bus and suddenly smelled chicken that someone brought on.

I thought I’ll just go home but I got off a ways from the popcorn chicken place I went to a few days ago.

I started walking towards it – I said you know what even though it’s not the healthiest I’m going to get what I want.

When I got there there were no seats so I saw this girl and asked to sit with her. We had so much in common, acting, film, and having to give up our dreams in the past.

We ended up talking for 3 hours and I actually had a dream about the exact amount of classes and how many times she’ll take it last night, written in my dream notes.

And I also had a dream about what she went through in class.

You can have what you want. – prophetic word, God will restore all your dreams.

For those who have been waiting for your husband or wife, he/she is coming. Don’t settle for the counterfeit.

Here are some reasons to sow-

1. For breakthrough, as a sign of faith

2. It encourages me

3. It provides the finances I need to continue ministering to you and those God leads me to

4. Your giving frees people from fear, condemnation, shame and guilt

5. Brings people to Jesus!

You can sow here-
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Thank you for being family!

Here’s some questions to ask yourself when you don’t want to go somewhere or be at some event with family or friends-

1. Do I feel guilty for not going? (Spirit of condemnation)

2. Do I feel like I’ll miss out if I don’t go? (Spirit of lack)

Even going to church is a form of obligation. If you feel like you’re missing out if you don’t go to church, or that you won’t receive the spiritual food you need- it’s actually a form of guilt and condemnation.

That means Jesus isn’t enough for you.

If you want to go, yes, by all means go- but you shouldn’t go because you feel like you’ll miss out on something for not going.

Jesus already died on the cross for you to be enough.

I believe much of what “Christians” do actually come from guilt and obligation, not love or desire.

Desire should be at the root of everything we do.

Because it is God’s spirit that gives you the will and action to do.

for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Philippians 2:13

So if we are making decisions to do things out of guilt or maybe hoping if we do it we get what we want in return, it’s not God.

1. Do you have the will to do? Do you actually want to?

The religious spirit tells you you’re not allowed to have what you want until you do what God says.

It’s a works system that says you only deserve to have something because of your “obedience”. It’s like employee and employer.

You’re not an employee, you’re a daughter and son of God!

You don’t get paid by God for the hours you worked.

You’re a child of God that has everything God has and this also means you trust that God has your best in mind like a child trusts His papa. So you walk in alignment with Him when He speaks, it’s not to control you but to guide you.

Here’s an example of guilt versus desire. My mom asked me if I wanted to get hot pot and I said no I want pancakes and she said you should eat pancakes it has a lot of carbs.

She got mad that I didn’t want to go with her. I felt some guilt and thought maybe I should.

But then when I started writing this I realize it was guilt tripping me. I’m glad I decided to follow the desires of my heart this morning.

Consider giving to this ministry this Christmas! That people may be set from from guilt and condemnation through the materials I produce on Spotify, this blog and digital content. Thank you!

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