What better way to spend Sunday night than to talk about online dating (There is cussing in this post for those conservatives who sometimes read my blog and get offended). 

So given that I have friends that are single and ready to mingle, they often tell me about their dating woes. Well, one has started online dating, well, stopped for the moment. So after watching some Hart of Dixie, and Wade is REALLY hot, I decided…you know what.. time to manifest some real romance. However, after downloading Tinder for the 100th time, because I get sick of it in 5 minutes after swiping left too many times, I had to delete it once more. I have more relationship drama with the app itself.

The truth is I am really loving my life right now, without a man. I really love it. I love watching movies even by myself. I like sitting in a theater with no one to bother me, I love going to get coffee and even eating by myself. I find dates filled with hassle. So I pretty much already have criterion, which starts with beliefs, and ends with honesty.

And I thought, maybe I shouldn’t write about this because I will sound like a whiny bitch or perhaps someone with high standards who like “can’t compromise” and I call bullshit on that because YOU SHOULD HAVE STANDARDS. WE LIVE IN FUCKING LA! For crying out loud. Especially in LA, a girl must have standards. I can’t even begin…

The problem with Tinder is that besides already knowing what they are like….because well, being the artist and philosophically inclined person that I am, you can tell a lot about a person based on just photos. 

  1. “dude he looks like a pedophile, why is he kissing this young girl that way…why is he even posting it? Is that his niece of his ex? I am so confused.”
  2. he looks like he plays video games all day. His face is oily”
  3. “please noooo….another selfie of his abs…..abs without a face is not attractive to woman…it’s like seeing a picture of a mannequin at the mall, without clothes on”
  4. I asked my guy friend this….and they think it’s okay and attracts women…well whatever type of women they are trying to attract, cuz I don’t find a photo of him (whoever the subject is) with other sexy women attractive….like it doesn’t make me think “oh wow, he seems popular with the ladies, well, now, I find him attractive too then”. I ain’t a dumb bitch and I’m not about to claw another woman for a guy like that.
  5. where the fuck is his face? In every photo he is looking away….and as my friend said, they have a wife, they don’t want their identity on there..like cuz his wife’s friend might find him cheating….he dead”.

I got super liked a few times, I’m not going to boast. Oh wait I am boasting. But well, I didn’t find them attractive or likable….yes, even through a photo. So I deleted Tinder. Again.

But you know what, I am where I imagined myself to be. I never ever thought I’d be one of those woman to get married early. That wasn’t really in my dream list. I’ve traveled, I’ve done a lot of things and yes, that was how I imagined my early twenties. I’m not perfect and that’s why I want to continue learning how to love my imperfections.

PS- if you are wondering what to look for in a long term dude- https://rebekkalien.com/2015/04/27/why-you-should-date-for-destiny/ 

 

Daily Surrender

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The beauty of life actually lies in the act of daily surrender.

As crazy as people say I am, the more I live a life of surrender, the more I realize how limited my thinking is. I cannot begin to comprehend how God works and that is just the beauty of it. I’m dumb as fuck compared to God. 

Life becomes enjoyable when we admit that our wisdom is beyond limited and God’s unimaginably creative and mind blowing.

By letting go of control, we get to partner with God in creating art out of our lives, to feel deeply each emotion, to play, to have fun, to create a rich life of love.

I am lost for words, sometimes unable to even express the plethora of emotions that is in my heart. I will go days feeling the tensions and not knowing how to face my truth.

It is in admitting “I don’t know why that happened, why nothing happened according to my preconceived notion of what should have happened, and why I even had that notion in the first place’ and maybe that I’m disappointed, scared that life is unpredictable, uncontrollable….

That my heart can finally release it’s grip.

It is okay that I don’t know.

It is okay that I may have been disappointed, but I want to continue learning how to surrender to God’s infinite ways of life.

Nowadays, grace is not so popular. Not knowing is so unpopular, there is an answer for everything. But I don’t always know what is going on and I’m okay with it. God’s got it, God has it figured out, He knew me before I was born.

I might not know where I’m going geographically even in the next month, and it upsets people. They want to make plans with me, but I can’t. My loyalty isn’t to them. My loyalty is to God. Make plans with me in the next week, but after that, I don’t know where I’m going. If I feel RIGHT about something, I will commit to doing it, but if I don’t feel RIGHT in my heart about it, I won’t. I have an inner compass. Being loyal to your vision makes you uncontrollable, free. 

So don’t feel bad that life didn’t go the way you predicted, perhaps your get married by 30 plan, career plan, etc. Life is better in a daily act of surrender. Surrender never felt so sweet.

(pic above is in SF, my mom and I went on a last minute trip).

Stop Pimping Yourself Out

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(that’s a really ripe banana)

Wisdom always comes descending into my mind in the most inconvenient times like at 2am, 4 am. But then I am an alien so I have to be mindful of these downloads and know that this is why I’m on earth, to spread the wisdom of light.

This time I am confronted with the fact that I have let things distract me.

Which makes sense because God even spoke to me through a tattoo a few months ago. The tattoo said “focus”. 

Which brings me back to the fact that yes, I can blame people or specifically for my mom for being a distraction, always asking me to go out, go eat, go shopping, go somewhere with her…or I can simple learn to say no….that for once, in this time of INSPIRATION, this season where I don’t need to MIND anything but CREATION, CREATING, WRITING, DRAWING, CREATING as I have set my mind to do for the last year.

Originally my dream was basically to have non-distracted time to focus on my dream, which is the dream to create and do what I was born to do. 

So my logic started to beat myself up “dude, remember you wasted so much time putting others first?” I’m like SHUT UP.

Anyways, grace.

Then it dawned on me, I must VALUE myself and my time first before anyone else can VALUE ME. I must MASSIVELY value my talent and skills so I can massively impact the world for change. Don’t mind the money, don’t mind what’s going on in the world.

OUR JOB as artists, writers, musicians, creators is to create out of that secret place only we can….to bring fresh perspective, to be a vessel for which God creates through and with us. 

We must be creators….not constantly consuming the random streams of entertainment on facebook or social media, we must be INTENTIONAL about how we spend our time….because as creators, WE are the change. 

Living an intentional life seems to be impossible. Everyone is just responding to messages, staring at their phones, glued to present events instead of forecasting the future, dreaming, going about their dreams.

That is why I’m committing myself this day 8/18/2016 to be intentional about putting MYSELF first in this creating process so I can CREATE out of a space of health and freedom, instead of submitting to the urgency of other people around me. 

Sign- me.

Some people are so weirded out about the term “love yourself” but really it is just “valuing yourself”. Value your time, value your time.

Stop pimping yourself out. You don’t need to fix peoples’ lives, focus on creating so that you can have greater impact in this world. Sometimes codependent people are just a distraction so that you won’t write that book, create that podcast, write that article that millions and billions of people can be impact by.

I realize that by putting myself first, choosing my own well-being, health, sanity, I am loving the world at the same time. I am choosing the best for the world and I.

How about you? 

I would like to value myself more by: 

Fill in the blanks. Such as, “by not picking up my phone when I’m creating art” 

“Not taking on opportunities that don’t pay”

“Saying no and I don’t want to”

“Saying yes to my soul and what makes my spirit sing!”

PS- I’d like to add that the term starving artist has a connotation. Only when we are willing to starve as artists for the uncompromising truth of our soul will we then have massive impact. Because it is basically saying “I am SO passionate, I’d do anything for it”. When is the last time you felt that passionate about something? I believe it’s there, you have it within you.

How To Protect Your Heart When You Have An Asian Mom

You are responsible for the well-being of your heart. Yes, you are.

You are the landlord of your heart and you get to decide who and what resides there (landlord analogy by Christa Black). When I was younger, I’m 28 now, I opened my heart to lots of people because I thought, “well I’m taught to love people right?” but that’s when I realize that THERE IS EVIL out there. Real evil. And then I got frightened and closed my heart up after too many evil encounters. Thank God I’ve been healing from those manipulative encounters and learned to guard my heart.

I learned that it is important to have boundaries in your life. And you have to SPEAK UP for your heart, it’s your responsibility YO.

Which leads me to the whole controlling Asian parent thing again. 

Recently I’ve been blessed with good food and have eaten well. It’s just this season of rest and getting fed. Well, my mom mentions a couple of times that “watch your weight”, your legs are getting fat or your stomach is getting fat.

And as you can see, I’m not an obese person, I’m a pretty skinny Asian woman that happens to have curves. (This just goes to show the impossible culture Asians live in).

I was totally fine the whole day, had no neck aches and for me when I have neck aches it is usually because I am fearing something. 

SO at night I start getting these crazy painful neck aches and I start to do my inner healing, meditation, prayer time with God. I ask Spirit what the hell is going on. I look back on the day. I mean I had really great food, got this amazing dress from Nordstrom, felt so alive and free all day. I felt abundant.

Then it struck me, that moment when my mom….instead of saying “wow I had a great day with my daughter”, she said “your stomach is looking fat, watch yourself”.

Gosh, how encouraging.

So in that moment, subconsciously my self worth was struck down and subconsciously I heard and felt in my spirit “You’re not enough, you’re not good enough”. 

Wow. I love healing sessions with God.

So then I start planning a speech about what I’ll tell my mom, how I’ll speak up for my heart so that I can protect it in the future. Then I have this crazy dream about a childhood friend who I am no longer friends with due to parental conditions (aka controlling Asian parents who basically took control of our friendship and ended it with, well their controlling spirit). 3 times I ask her what’s wrong, no answer.

Finally she tells me “my mom died”, I hug her and we cry and cry. Then my mom comes in and questions what I’m doing. And the light bulb went on. When do Asian kids ever grow up? Some of us, without knowing it, are still being controlled by our parents. We feel out of control, we view God like our parents…unrelenting, angry, controlling.

In Asian culture, there is no such thing as GRIEVING, we are taught to get over it, cover it up, Asian moms don’t really have much capacity to comfort or tend to your emotions (I’m talking about the older generation, now not all moms are like that but I have seen a lot).

So in the grieving, pain process, we are often commanded to ANSWER TO and name WHAT IT IS we are going through. And as you know, grieving is messy, you can’t always name it. People want to KNOW shit because they feel like they are in control if they know what it is you are going through. 

Some Asian adults still feel that they are seriously unable to make their own decisions. They feel powerless in their own lives and a victim of circumstances.

Well, after my dream….I knew I had to just speak up.

“mom, can you not say anything negative about my body? It hurts my heart and honestly if I want to exercise or lose weight I will, but that’s my own decision. This is my body, not yours”. 

And with that, she said okay, as long as you yourself know.

And even if I sometimes feel insecure, I know that this season is actually a blessing.

Why? Because most of the time when I’m traveling I’m losing hella a LOT of weight and I barely have an appetite sometimes, like in Cebu, Philippines, I was shitting out water, or food that turned to water, okay I know Too Much Info.

Which leads me to my point.

I once heard a relative of mine say after I chose DISTANCE from certain people in my life that “people have a right to their opinions about you”. Well I have a right to “who I want in my life and what opinions I want to hear” because most peoples’ opinions ARE NOT truth about who you are in LOVE.

Because LOVE feels good, love FIRST tells you your true identity, then in the encouragement, propels you TO DO GOOD….not the other way…like when people yell at you and tells you “you suck” and think that ‘s going to encourage you to change. LOL.

So guard your heart because out of the heart comes all the goodness and junk of life. You have a right to say NO and TO create healthy boundaries, use your speech, speak up like I did.

PS- I love Asian moms, don’t get me wrong. Not all Asian moms are this way. There are many reasons people become controlling or negative, most of the time they are speaking out of their own insecurities. AKA my mom just bought this weird massage tool that is supposed to massage the fat out of her body. I love my mom- she is REALLY amazing. Sometimes I have to write about her because well, it’s my experience and I believe it can free others.

This article doesn’t just apply to Asians or moms, or women, this applies to ALL HUMANKIND. Maybe even animals. I pray this article may help free you to LIVE IN FREEDOM!

How To Protect Your Heart When You Have An Asian Mom

Be willing to change

Be willing to change.

As I walk through this season of being with my mom, I am challenged with my ego, pride and hubris and am releasing the defensive mechanism I had for most of my life.

This defensive mechanism came from my need to protect my ego. To protect my core.

Her criticisms often made me feel unloved and not enough, never good enough.

As I grew in my spirituality I started to release old mentalities and thought patterns. I released things, attachment to the material world, the need to control…but as I spend time with her, I am reminded again of the not good enough monster. In addition, in my opened eyes of seeing her inability to release things like a table from 25-30 years ago, I am noticing why she is stuck.

But I also am challenged to love in a greater way, to love from a place of- I accept and love you as you are, not when you release these old wounds, but just as you are. I accept you even in your inability to love yourself or to see that not releasing past wounds hurts you.

Today after I washed my hair, my mom kept doting “dry your hair, dry your hair”. It really didn’t matter to me, I usually air dry it. But I replied after 30 minutes “okay I’m drying my hair because I love you”.

Perhaps that was my first training for my future marriage…something might not matter to me, but if it matters to someone you love, you may just do it out of love.

And instead of incurring more annoyance, I did it out of love for her, even though I could care less if my hair is dried.

So I suppose I am maturing. I used to blame her for many things, but now I’m learning that I must overcome the annoyances within me until her words becomes only a reflection of her own spirit, not mine. And in effect, I can love her just as she is, and allow that love to change her.

Love IS Not Ho Hum Fear, But Vulnerability Exposed

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I reached a breakthrough yesterday, this was better than any worldly increase, any publicity, getting on TV, being validated by a news channel, Vogue, Forbes, nothing like that…it wasn’t a man kneeling on his knees and telling me how much he loved me, no no no….this was way bigger than that….this was LOVE.

Well, how could it be love if it wasn’t with a romantic partner?

My heart was seen and I was heard, and I was loved anyway. That is love. 

Yesterday I sat on the floor spilling my guts to my friend….as we talked about all the people we needed to forgive, especially family members that never gave us the love we needed, I realized that we both needed to feel accepted and LOVED…and most of all to feel safe. Without safety there is no trust, when there is no trust there is no freedom to be yourself, to express your true feelings. 

We prayed and I also gave my burdens to God. You see, if God is love then love is God. Love is supreme.

The world tells us that LOVE is LUST, Love is not lust, physical attraction wanes BIG TIME. LOVE is not attraction either, because I can be attracted to a thousand guys, LOVE is not exclusive within a romantic relationship…

Here are the things I believe love is:

Love IS:

1. Forgiveness, knowing that we are not perfect and others aren’t

2. Vulnerability, having the freedom to open your heart to someone and trust that they will not judge but accept you (with someone that you have known and built trust with).

3. Communication, believing that connection is KEY and that your goal is to connect and not disconnect.

4. Service, having an attitude of “how can I help you” and be a support for you in this tough time.

5. Patience, having the patience to love someone when they are like porcupines, purposely hurting you out of protection for themselves.

Even though we stayed up until 3am drinking fine whiskey, I found myself awake at 10am desiring to POUR all of what I learned into this blog…I hope that our world will start to see what love really is. I’m tired of seeing friends suffer and young people strive for the type of “counterfeit love” that is conditional.

I have gained the whole world by knowing that I am loved and that I can feel secure in a friendship. Relationships mean the world to me especially since I never felt safe to express myself in my own family. How about you? Do you have that kind of friend, do you have that kind of family (even non-related ones)? I hope you do, and if you don’t, know that the first step is to forgive anyone that has hurt you in the past and to know that you are loved unconditionally by the God who created you.

I know this season of my life is preparing me for my life partner because without the ability to communicate well with a friend, I wouldn’t be able to communicate with a partner. I have also been learning how to reject guys with grace and honor. This isn’t always easy when they are persistent and wanting to cross your emotional boundaries…that’s when you set a line and perhaps block their numbers, because you should never feel unsafe.

This is also training for my big international business…whenever I’m traveling or going anywhere, men hit on me wherever I go. I have to learn to politely decline their consideration without hurting their ego or make them feel like they’re not good enough…since there’s only one person I’m going to be with, it’s a matter of “you’re not that person”, and my purpose is fulfilled together with “that person”, not you.

To love, may you find friends, family and people in your life that you can lay the shit out and still know you are loved. 

Why You Should Date For Destiny

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In a world of tinder and okcupid, how does a young person date these days and for what purpose?

If you’re simply dating for pleasure and to live a life happy to your own little unit, may I suggest something more significant?

Date for destiny. I have been happily single for over a year and during that time I’ve solidified my destiny. My destiny in this world is to grow in love and share the love in my heart, my destiny is to awaken people’s hearts to their true self. My heart desires to share my stories of overcoming fatherlessness, healing, taking bold risks, forgiveness, reconciliation and to heal people. My life work manifests through my life story, my books, my speeches, projects and a life 100% committed to the expression and manifestation of love.

Here are questions I ask people:

1. What makes you come alive? What makes you smile and brings joy to your heart?

2. What are your biggest dream?

3. What is your purpose in life?

4. Who are you?

If you don’t know the answer to those questions, solidify what they are before you even consider involving yourself in a relationship. When I was younger, I didn’t know much about the purpose of a relationship. I knew that it was best that a child have two parents that were still together. As a child of divorce, I have seen the damages of having an absent father. Having children is a really serious ordeal, I don’t take it lightly.

Now that you have identified those 4 life questions, you can date and eliminate candidates based on the criterions.

1. Besides personality and chemistry, do they have the same dreams and purpose?

2. Do they know who they are as a wholistic being? Not just “career title”.

I see so many superficial relationships including my past relationships that it saddens me to see marriages and relationships rip apart based on differences in life goals.

Success is easy, just follow systematic steps to accrue wealth. That means little to me. I live by destiny. Ever since I was young, I knew there was something great within me. I was destined to overcome and to be an inspiration to others. I’m an agent of change and healing as I have graciously been shown agape love. I live by grace.

My dream isn’t to become rich, though that will come as I contribute my greatness into this world….my dream is to be the most loving self I can be and to partner with a co-agent of change. After I speak at international conferences, I’d like to have my other half tell me I did a good job, pray for me before major speaking engagements and create life changing music, films, companies together.

I’ve been destined for something way bigger than just living a normal picket fence American life.

I’ve given everything up for one great love, I know Ill succeed, I know I’ve already changed and inspired hundreds through my speeches, Ebook, travels, volunteer work, this blog….if god took me now, I would be proud to say I’ve done it all. But now I’d like to partner with someone so we can continue the work in a grander way, not to live a normal life in a big house, but to go where spirit leads. There’s few that would sacrifice everything for a greater dream.

Are you dating for fun? That’s fine, but don’t waste your life not knowing who you are and what your destiny is. Life is too short. When you become whole in healing, knowing the core of your purpose in this life, you’ll start to date for destiny….not for temporary pleasures but for a partner who will walk into destiny with you.

watch my YouTube video here- http://youtu.be/MtW7yDZFEp0

Kicking Karma’s Ass

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I thought I might title this blog post with a funnier title, something that would grab you. It’s almost Halloween and I am utterly amazed at how I have seen the continuous support of people, strangers. I have seen LOVE come to pass in so many ways in my travels.

I am amazed at the POWER of LOVE. Where do I begin?

Yesterday I was at the world famous Berlin club called Berghain. My new Spanish friend and I got in. I couldn’t believe it, well because apparently they rejected all these “normally” dressed people. I guess it pays to be weird. There was this “walk of shame” where the rejects would walk backward…and yes, everyone in line saw them walking away in shame….I didn’t like how the bouncer shoved me to get padded down at the women’s line.

We got in because my friend said “it’s because I’m homosexual”.

I thought about how he manifested us getting in because of his unwavering certainty in the fact that if he was gay, he would definitely get in. I believe that this power called “belief” can get us in anywhere we want. It could be as crazy as, “because I’m Asian I’ll get into any university” or “because I’m hot I get into any club” (this is a belief I have held onto and yes, it works”.

SO this blog post is called Kicking Karma’s Ass because I don’t really believe in Karma, I believe we should rename it…we should name it LOVE.

Love expands, fear constricts us. 

Walking down the street, I say a little prayer for each person and I try to smile at them.

Some people don’t smile at me but some do. In Amsterdam, an angel gave me water when I couldn’t move in bed. She said, whatever you need, I’m here for you. I meet her in Berlin, by accident, by divine order, we end up in the same hostel. There is a man who is suffering from a broken heart, he lost his business and is under depression. I give him granola bars and a quote, words of encouragement. Kindness towards a stranger.

Because of love, the world is a better place. Because of love, genuine friendship, commonalities, I am invited to go to a club with a new friend. Because of love, and simplicity, I share simple moments of conversation with 3 boys from Afghanistan. They stuff my face with cake in kindness. Because of love I am able to smile at a little girl named Medino and build a relationship for a few days while I am here.

She laughs at me with genuine simplicity, love, kindness. She is a little girl, a cherished little girl. I give her pen and paper to draw, next thing you know we are eating together. We can’t communicate through language, only gestures. Yesterday she was being a little brat so I left dinner early, but she will always be in my heart, as also a reflection of the little girl in me.

I love the little girl in me, I will never neglect what that little girl wants.

All of life is love, without love and an open heart we cannot receive.

Do not keep good from those who should have it, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and return tomorrow, and I will give it,” when you have it with you.

I have found this to be true. You see, I am traveling with an insane budget, and somehow God has expanded that money. At every opportunity that I have been given to see a need, I have been able to give…especially food. I have been sharing food with those that seem hungry in the hostels. This has given me a lot of pleasure because I know that people have helped me the same….especially people who are hungover and can’t move.

I realized that when you withhold from others what you can give them now, out of fear of lack, the same will happen to you…and this isn’t karma, this is just how like attracts like. You see, I realized that when I live out of an open heart that there is ALWAYS more than enough and that material things are always circulating, you don’t hold onto much. I have also tried to see the good in people and because of that, I have almost always come into contact with strangers that have the best intention.

Now I constantly ask myself if I am acting in fear or love. In moments of fear, we constrict our bodies and we make bad decisions. It doesn’t hurt to ask ourselves, close our eyes and breathe. How does this decision make me feel?

If you feel good, your heart is expanding, you are acting in love.

If you feel bad, and your heart feels constricted, you are acting in fear. 

(Pictures taken in Berlin)

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3 Key Ways to Harmonize Your Career with Your Love Life

Guest Post by Acclaimed Love Coach Shamia Casiano
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3 Key Ways to Harmonize Your Career with Your Love Life

A lot of women feel overwhelmed at the thought of juggling their careers with their love life. Some of these women are working 40+ hour weeks and by the time they get home – are just too exhausted to even think about going out and finding someone.

On the flip side, there are women that are in relationships, but their relationships are suffering because they not only spend so much time at work, but they also seem to bring work home as well.

Here are three keys to help bring harmony between your love life and your career.

1. Prioritize

People tend to think that prioritizing automatically means sacrifice. When you prioritize something it equals something falling by the wayside.

But that isn’t the case. You need to view it as an adjustment – not as a sacrifice. When you make an adjustment, you are viewing something (in this case your love life) as something that deserves attention and time.

When you prioritize your love life, you put it out there that this is important to you and that you take it seriously. Once you put it out into the Universe that this is a priority for you, you make room for it in your life and invite your love life to unfold in all sorts of ways.

2. Be Present

The second key is to be present. I can’t stress this one enough. It doesn’t count if you’re out to dinner and you’ve got your phone glued to your hand, checking emails.

That is not making it work – that is working while eating.

You’ve got to understand that work is work and love is love. And you can’t nourish one while focusing entirely on the other.

You’ve got to be present. You’ve got to put the phone down, step away from the computer and focus your attention on your love interest (or your spouse, if it pertains to you).

We’ve become a Multi-tasking Plagued society – and it is really taking a toll on our attention spans and our ability to form solid connections and relationships with the ones we love. Research shows that multitasking increases the chances of making mistakes and missing important information and cues. Multitaskers are also less likely to retain information in working memory, which can hinder problem solving and creativity.

Multitasking takes a huge toll on our communication skills as well, which is vital to any relationship (romantic and non).

3. Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries means managing your time more effectively and efficiently. It means understanding and creating timelines. If you’re off on the weekends, don’t crack open your laptop to do work when you could be spending time with your love interest instead or setting up an online dating profile. You’ve got no excuses.

This is something I struggled with a lot, especially when I first started my business. I was going to bed at 4AM, working on the weekends. It was so bad that even after church on Sundays, I’d go right into my office at home and do some work. It was terrible! I barely spent time with my husband and it wasn’t benefitting our relationship.

You’ve got to set boundaries. For me, I’ve decided that I don’t work weekends and I don’t work evenings anymore. Point blank. Period.

One of my business mentors, Leonie Dawson, recently posted an article on her 15-hour workweek. 15 hours of work a week. She recently gave birth, has a toddler and her hunky love, as she likes to call him.

She’s all about setting boundaries and figuring out what that means for you.

Now that you’ve got the three keys on how to balance your career and your love life – let’s dive in to the three action steps you can take right now to implement these.

Schedule Things in Your Planner

Seriously, do it. And if you’re like me and you don’t have a planner – put it on your to-do list. It’s the same thing. If you can stick to your work calendar, you can surely add on a few personal items for you to stick to.

Schedule in a time to go out on a Friday or Saturday night. Schedule a block of one or two hours for setting up an online dating profile. (Or if you’re married like me, set aside time to spend an evening with your spouse.) It doesn’t matter what it is – make sure you put it on your list. That way, you’re more likely to do it.

Listen to Your Intuition

Listen to your intuition, listen to your body. There’s a reason why I used the word “harmonize” instead of “balancing” when it comes to your love life and your career.

With balance, it means that both sides need to be equal in order for it to work.

However harmonizing both your work life and your love life means there is an ebb and flow of energy in your life.

So, when I said set boundaries – I didn’t mean work less. In fact, that was code for work smarter.

Another business mentor of mine, Shenee Howard, is all about being super focused and getting things done. Maybe you don’t need all day to complete a few tasks.

Maybe you just need two solid hours of what Shenee likes to call, Megatron Mode, where you get rid of all distractions and get down to business. This way when time comes to be present (like on a date with a hottie), you can actually be present without worrying about the things you didn’t do that day or have to do tomorrow.

Learn the Art of Being Present

I’m well aware that a lot of us may not be so great at being present. But it’s seriously important that we learn to break this multitasking plague and get focused on one task at hand at a time. Whether it’s hanging with your sweetie or some project at work. Here’s something you can do to start learning to be present.

There’s a website called, donothingfor2minutes.com.

Seriously, it’s a website with a picture of the ocean and a timer. You listen to the waves and do nothing for two whole minutes. You don’t move your mouse or touch your keyboard until the two minutes are up.

Seems simple enough. But if it weren’t such an issue, why would this even need to exist? I want you to try it out and start molding yourself into someone who can be present. Because once you can do that, you’ll be surprised at how dramatic your love life (and other relationships) can change.

About Shamia- As an INFJ on the Meyer-Briggs scale, Shamia loves connecting with other introverted women who want a fresh start so they can feel Sasha Fierce in all areas of their life, especially relationships. Shamia has been featured in Ebony magazine, Thought CatalogDivine CarolineThe Loop, and is a contributing writer for Ms. In the Biz, the online destination for women in entertainment. Shamia has also spoken on the Sex-Data Blitz panel for the Society for Personality and Social Psychology pre-conference in Austin, Texas. She’s a Jersey girl living the beautiful bi-coastal dream life along with her husband, Elliott and their three year-old doggy, Lucky. http://shamiacasiano.com/moodswitch/

SIGN UP TODAY! Change Your Mind, Change Your Life Workshop TOMORROW!

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Change Your Mind, Change Your Life Transformative Workshop 
When: September 6, Saturday 3-6pm
Where: Los Angeles- Address to be emailed to you.

Would you like to overcome your mental obstacles?
Do you have fears stopping you from doing what you want in life?
Do you self-sabotage yourself from thriving success, relationships, career and finance?
Would you like to live out your dreams?

If you answered YES to any of the above questions we guarantee you’ll want to experience a life transforming 3 hours with visionary entrepreneur Rebekka Lien. REPROGRAM YOUR MIND FOR SUCCESS!

1. 7 Practical Mind Tools and Techniques to transform your mind forever
2. How to remove blockages that stop you from achieving your goals
3. How to start living in ease and attract EVERYTHING YOU WANT

WE GUARANTEE you will experience a shift in your life when you attend. Commit to living a passionate life. You are in control of your own destiny. Sign up now! 100% guarantee!
There are no refunds for no-shows, 100% refund only after you attend the workshop and did not find ANY value in it.
Sign up TODAY: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Y9Y6JG9MQTYZ2

http://www.Rebekkalien.com/events 

TESTIMONIALS: 

“I attended one of Rebekka’s workshops and was happy to find out it was not a large group of people sitting in a room listening to a lecture about results that seem impossible to achieve, then having a small amount of time at the end to answer questions. Her workshop was small and interactive, and she was able to take her own knowledge and experience and apply it to each person individually with suggestions that are do-able. Ever since taking the workshop I’ve been re-discovering many of my forgotten talents and realize I can make money from skills I already have and things I already enjoy doing!”

“Rebekka’s workshop inspired me to take action and finally say YES to creating my own workshop and moving forward as an entrepreneur. Her wealth of personal knowledge encourages people to make real changes and she is genuinely interested in each of the group members who come to the workshop. She also has a FB group to help workshop members stay in touch and support each other to growth.”

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