3 Key Ways to Harmonize Your Career with Your Love Life

Guest Post by Acclaimed Love Coach Shamia Casiano
3 Key Ways to Harmonize Your Career with Your Love Life

A lot of women feel overwhelmed at the thought of juggling their careers with their love life. Some of these women are working 40+ hour weeks and by the time they get home – are just too exhausted to even think about going out and finding someone.

On the flip side, there are women that are in relationships, but their relationships are suffering because they not only spend so much time at work, but they also seem to bring work home as well.

Here are three keys to help bring harmony between your love life and your career.

1. Prioritize

People tend to think that prioritizing automatically means sacrifice. When you prioritize something it equals something falling by the wayside.

But that isn’t the case. You need to view it as an adjustment – not as a sacrifice. When you make an adjustment, you are viewing something (in this case your love life) as something that deserves attention and time.

When you prioritize your love life, you put it out there that this is important to you and that you take it seriously. Once you put it out into the Universe that this is a priority for you, you make room for it in your life and invite your love life to unfold in all sorts of ways.

2. Be Present

The second key is to be present. I can’t stress this one enough. It doesn’t count if you’re out to dinner and you’ve got your phone glued to your hand, checking emails.

That is not making it work – that is working while eating.

You’ve got to understand that work is work and love is love. And you can’t nourish one while focusing entirely on the other.

You’ve got to be present. You’ve got to put the phone down, step away from the computer and focus your attention on your love interest (or your spouse, if it pertains to you).

We’ve become a Multi-tasking Plagued society – and it is really taking a toll on our attention spans and our ability to form solid connections and relationships with the ones we love. Research shows that multitasking increases the chances of making mistakes and missing important information and cues. Multitaskers are also less likely to retain information in working memory, which can hinder problem solving and creativity.

Multitasking takes a huge toll on our communication skills as well, which is vital to any relationship (romantic and non).

3. Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries means managing your time more effectively and efficiently. It means understanding and creating timelines. If you’re off on the weekends, don’t crack open your laptop to do work when you could be spending time with your love interest instead or setting up an online dating profile. You’ve got no excuses.

This is something I struggled with a lot, especially when I first started my business. I was going to bed at 4AM, working on the weekends. It was so bad that even after church on Sundays, I’d go right into my office at home and do some work. It was terrible! I barely spent time with my husband and it wasn’t benefitting our relationship.

You’ve got to set boundaries. For me, I’ve decided that I don’t work weekends and I don’t work evenings anymore. Point blank. Period.

One of my business mentors, Leonie Dawson, recently posted an article on her 15-hour workweek. 15 hours of work a week. She recently gave birth, has a toddler and her hunky love, as she likes to call him.

She’s all about setting boundaries and figuring out what that means for you.

Now that you’ve got the three keys on how to balance your career and your love life – let’s dive in to the three action steps you can take right now to implement these.

Schedule Things in Your Planner

Seriously, do it. And if you’re like me and you don’t have a planner – put it on your to-do list. It’s the same thing. If you can stick to your work calendar, you can surely add on a few personal items for you to stick to.

Schedule in a time to go out on a Friday or Saturday night. Schedule a block of one or two hours for setting up an online dating profile. (Or if you’re married like me, set aside time to spend an evening with your spouse.) It doesn’t matter what it is – make sure you put it on your list. That way, you’re more likely to do it.

Listen to Your Intuition

Listen to your intuition, listen to your body. There’s a reason why I used the word “harmonize” instead of “balancing” when it comes to your love life and your career.

With balance, it means that both sides need to be equal in order for it to work.

However harmonizing both your work life and your love life means there is an ebb and flow of energy in your life.

So, when I said set boundaries – I didn’t mean work less. In fact, that was code for work smarter.

Another business mentor of mine, Shenee Howard, is all about being super focused and getting things done. Maybe you don’t need all day to complete a few tasks.

Maybe you just need two solid hours of what Shenee likes to call, Megatron Mode, where you get rid of all distractions and get down to business. This way when time comes to be present (like on a date with a hottie), you can actually be present without worrying about the things you didn’t do that day or have to do tomorrow.

Learn the Art of Being Present

I’m well aware that a lot of us may not be so great at being present. But it’s seriously important that we learn to break this multitasking plague and get focused on one task at hand at a time. Whether it’s hanging with your sweetie or some project at work. Here’s something you can do to start learning to be present.

There’s a website called, donothingfor2minutes.com.

Seriously, it’s a website with a picture of the ocean and a timer. You listen to the waves and do nothing for two whole minutes. You don’t move your mouse or touch your keyboard until the two minutes are up.

Seems simple enough. But if it weren’t such an issue, why would this even need to exist? I want you to try it out and start molding yourself into someone who can be present. Because once you can do that, you’ll be surprised at how dramatic your love life (and other relationships) can change.

About Shamia- As an INFJ on the Meyer-Briggs scale, Shamia loves connecting with other introverted women who want a fresh start so they can feel Sasha Fierce in all areas of their life, especially relationships. Shamia has been featured in Ebony magazine, Thought CatalogDivine CarolineThe Loop, and is a contributing writer for Ms. In the Biz, the online destination for women in entertainment. Shamia has also spoken on the Sex-Data Blitz panel for the Society for Personality and Social Psychology pre-conference in Austin, Texas. She’s a Jersey girl living the beautiful bi-coastal dream life along with her husband, Elliott and their three year-old doggy, Lucky. http://shamiacasiano.com/moodswitch/

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