Emotional Vulnerability

I lived the earlier part of my life avoiding confrontation.

I mean I let people step on me. People thought I was the forgiving and forgetful type but the truth is no one is. Everyone gets hurt. My high school best friend dated a guy I went out with and dumped without telling me.

I heard about it from someone else.

She got dumped by him later on, and the whole time I knew but didn’t tell her, and she never mentioned it.

5 years later I’m at a retreat and God says “you’ve got to confront her”. So I had a meeting with her. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

“So I know this was 5 years ago but when you started dating my ex I was hurt that you didn’t tell me”.

She said “I thought you’re the forgiving type”.

I was way too loving. I mean, maybe I was so giving that people thought I had no feelings.

This came from a childhood of mommy pleasing. She was dramatic in her emotions. I mean she had a right to be right? A single mother raising two kids on her own.

So I catered to her, took care of her, made space for her emotions….and brushed mine aside. There was no room for my negative emotions so I became the sun in the sky, the cheer in the room, I brightened up every room to cover the pain and darkness in my own heart.

But I was not okay.

And no one really asked. They loved me, or they liked that I only helped them. I didn’t bring toxic energy to the table, only laughter.

But I was drained, exhausted.

One day I returned home sobbing.

I was teaching Sunday school, doing worship and leading youth group.

I was exhausted from doing and not being.

I rested for two years when God intentionally asked me to but suddenly felt caught up in the doing recently. I had to slow down. I had just traversed the world and my legs were sore, my shoulders ached and my heart ached even more.

Ministry wounding is a real thing. You pour out your heart to people but you often don’t get anything in return.

Instead you get poked with a sword, or some kind of back stabbing tool.

The sheep bite.

Recently I realized that I was addicted to overhelping and it drained and exhausted me. Deep down I felt like if I wasn’t helping someone I wasn’t worthy of love or that people would abandon me.

I have a family history of people walking away from me. And perhaps me walking away from people too because they’re so critical.

Grace means you receive something you didn’t work for and I realize I started working to receive versus just receiving.

In order to just receive, you have to rest and to let go.

And freely receive.

How about you?

Are you an overhelper?

I pray this post brings revelation to your spirit and healing as well.

Today I told my friend that something she did hurt me. When’s the last time you told someone they hurt you?

That’s emotional vulnerability.

Honesty. Then she told me things that she’s never told me. That’s the kind of friendship I want, honest friendships, not the people pleasing type.

I read recently that when you’re an overhelper you tend to say yes then resent that person later. I don’t want anyone to help me out of obligation and vice versa.

I think we are almost about to meet our life partners – some of you out there, singles.

These lessons teach us how to communicate in our relationships.

Much love xoxo

Consider sowing a seed or becoming a monthly partner!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

Order Shirts Designed By Me

Order today! The campaign lasts 21 days and my goal is to sell 450 shirts!

https://www.bonfire.com/you-are-enough-12/

There are 6 styles and 5 colors each. Happy shopping!

God Is A Good Father

I didn’t grow up with my father, he was emotionally and physically absent.

Somehow it was easier to become close to Heavenly Father because my father was absent. God comforted me through my first painful breakup. He was there when times got tough. He was there when I needed comfort. He was always there for me.

But I also found it hard to trust God at times when I experienced pain. I started hearing and sensing God when I was a child. Then when I was 12 I accepted Jesus into my heart. Some of life’s hurdles makes us question whether God is truly good.

I could hear Him then. It wasn’t a big booming voice but a voice from within my mind. I was always very sensitive to noise growing up. Because God had attuned my ears to Him everything else was loud and obnoxious.

I find silence absolutely delightful.

A lot of my friends have dysfunctional or absent fathers. Similar to me, they had to fend for themselves financially growing up and there is usually an insecurity about provision or an insecurity about being loved for who they are. What happens is codependent friendships.

What God has taught me is that friendships aren’t for every season as there are seasons that God needs you to trust Him alone, not the people in your life.

This season God is calling us forward to not rely so much on what we’ve seen but to go again stepping on water.

Satan loves to deceive believers into thinking God is mean.

God is a good father, His heart is to bless you. He has no judgement against you as Jesus has already taken the judgement on His being.

You are free from judgement!

You are free indeed!

If He is a good father- then that means He is excited to reveal big plans for you, He has the best plans to prosper you and not to harm you.

He is proud of you. He will never leave nor forsake you!

Do you believe He is a good father??

Do you believe He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you?

Say yes to God today!

I am now raising funds to reach souls for Jesus as the Holy Spirit leads- countries I’ll be going to -Taiwan, China, Mongolia, Laos, Thailand, etc wherever spirit leads. Consider sowing a seed or becoming a monthly partner! Thank you in advance and I look forward to getting to know you as well!

Sow a seed –

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

Tactics Of The Enemy

Today I want to write a few tactics of the enemy.

One I noticed significantly is that he sends a spirit of lack to attack you to make you feel like you are not good enough or have enough. Usually it’s right before you are embarking onto a breakthrough or promise God has ordained for you.

A spirit of lack will make you feel tired and worn out. It makes you feel unworthy. Then you’ll start noticing people who have a comfortable life than you and wonder why God seems to have forgotten you.

Satan then whispers lies to you that you shouldn’t follow Jesus because look at all the hardships you had to go through.

When the battles came from Satan’s attacks. Even when I was on the road Satan tried to block donations from coming in. A woman said she tried 3 times to send in a donation through Facebook but it kept bouncing back!

Satan is called a deceiver and a father of lies. He creates lies!

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” 
2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 
3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’ ” 
4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 
5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Genesis 3:1-5

Satan loves to lie and turn things against God.

I want to let you know God is good! His plans are to prosper and to flourish you not to harm you!

If He asks you to give something up it’s because He knows you’ve become enslaved to it and He only desires freedom for you!!!

Watch this video –
https://www.facebook.com/rebekka.lien/videos/10161981487795603?s=704670602&sfns=mo

I keep trusting God not because I have a lot of faith, it’s because I have nothing but God.

I am now raising funds to reach souls for Jesus as the Holy Spirit leads- countries I’ll be going to -Taiwan, China, Mongolia, Laos, Thailand, etc wherever spirit leads. Consider sowing a seed or becoming a monthly partner! Thank you in advance and I look forward to getting to know you as well!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

When Serving Becomes Our Identity, Instead Simply Being a Child Of God

64782049_10161970046215603_5064261750497476608_n

I feel we are in a season of coming back to Jesus to get our self-worth, versus basing it on how we serve Him.

I just had a dream for my brother in Christ and I told him that he needed to slow down and spend time with Jesus and he said that I was right as he has traveled the last 2 months ministering to people, healing the sick, etc but that he was worn down and tired.

Sometimes in ministry we start to believe a few lies that I want to dismantle today-

Lie 1- Your identity comes from how many people you help.

Truth- Your identity comes from being a child of God, who God so loved that He sent His only child (Jesus) to be sacrificed for you.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1-2 

Lie 2- God will only bless you if you obey.

Truth – Jesus paid the price on the cross for your blessings. His work was perfect obedience to the Father and even if you don’t perfectly obey, He does not punish you for it. I want to reiterate that He wants us to live in freedom, not paranoia. Our hearts should only “do things” out of DESIRE, not duty. 

Obedience comes from the overflow of the knowledge that He loves you, not because IF YOU DON’T OBEY that He will take away what He wants to bless you with.

That is living under the law. When we live under the law of condemnation and punishment, working for our blessings, we will not receive it- why? Because it will always be conditioned on how much we serve and do, versus from the perfect knowledge that we are loved by God no matter what.

This reminds of the prodigal son story. The older brother worked in bitterness thinking he had to earn his father’s blessings versus the prodigal son who experienced God’s blessings by doing what he wanted to – then realizing that his ways were not working and ended up running back to his father. 

God wants to have a genuine relationship with you, not one that is forced or led by duty and obligation.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

When Jesus said it is finished, it is finished.

Lie 3- You need to sacrifice yourself when you are a Christian

Truth- God wants you to know that you are worthy, you are worthy of love and a good life. 

People who constantly sacrifice themselves for others believe that they are not worthy unless they are bringing something to the table. I’ve met people who say they do a lot for others because they want to show others that they are worthy….but people shouldn’t love or bless you because of what you do for them but who you are.

You don’t owe anything to anyone. You paid by being born. 

You don’t tell a baby that “one day you will pay by buying me a house” (Asian parents). You are a gift from heaven and you are a delight.

You are worthy of love just because you exist. 

God has grand purposes and destinies for you but He wants you to live out of a deep place of intimate love with Him. He wants you to know you are loved beyond comprehension first and foremost. If we serve or help others out of any other agenda (such as to prove that we are worthy to receive His blessings), then we are not living out of true grace. 

I’m not sure at what point I started to believe that I just needed to do more on this journey, but towards the end I was starting to wane in my passion. I was not being fed in my heart. I realize that I need a lot of alone time and I wasn’t getting it. When you are constantly serving others their voices start to muffle your own thoughts and desires. I’m grateful for the revelations God has been giving me in these few days. 

I pray today God would break off the slavery mentality and orphan mentality that ties you to “obligation”. You need to know that He loves you to the moon and back.

And HIS PROMISES FOR YOU ARE YES AND AMEN! AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO HAVE WHAT YOU WANT AS HE ALREADY BECAME THE PERFECT SACRIFICE ON YOUR BEHALF.

May you live completely from a place of knowing you are LOVED by God, and that your life will be driven by LOVE not FEAR. His love for you is not dependent on what you do for Him, His love for you is complete and finished. He does not look at your “disobedience” as He does not see blemish in you- He only sees Jesus in you (who obeyed perfectly onto the cross). 

I pray for the ministers and servants out there that you will not be confused by the enemy who tries to tell you that your worth comes from how much you help or don’t help others. That is a form of condemnation and accusation! I break off the spirit of python that tries to choke the life out of your heart and dreams in Jesus name! I break off false responsibility in Jesus name!

Our lives should never be driven by “I SHOULD”- your life should be driven by “I WANT”.

Sow-

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

Going Back Out

Click on the photo to follow this page!

I’m going back out overseas. June 24 I’ll be going to SF and continuing on to Thailand, Asia and on.

God has been showing me the places I’m going back to or going to.

This time it’ll look different. I’m not sure how it will look different but I felt a new energy and joy today even as I prophesied over my neighbor.

Here’s where I need all the help I can get.

I feel like the beginning of ministry last year was full of fear and like “God how are you going to do this?” And even though I still have doubts at times, I have much more confidence in God and I know the enemy’s tactics. The enemy has sent attacks recently to shut down my ministry and discourage me from continuing, he tried to lie to me and tell me I should stop doing it as it wasn’t my dream and that’s a lie- because there’s nothing more fulfilling than seeing people set free by Jesus!

Vision Of my ministry-

To see people set free from a life of fear and into the fearless life God has called them to, to set captives free, see the sick healed, and to bring the kingdom of God and His gospel of grace to people.

Isaiah 61:1

The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me. He sent me to preach good news to the poor, heal the heartbroken, Announce freedom to all captives, pardon all prisoners. God sent me to announce the year of his grace— a celebration of God’s destruction of our enemies— and to comfort all who mourn, To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion, give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes, Messages of joy instead of news of doom, a praising heart instead of a languid spirit. Rename them “Oaks of Righteousness” planted by God to display his glory. They’ll rebuild the old ruins, raise a new city out of the wreckage. They’ll start over on the ruined cities, take the rubble left behind and make it new. You’ll hire outsiders to herd your flocks and foreigners to work your fields, But you’ll have the title “Priests of God,” honored as ministers of our God. You’ll feast on the bounty of nations, you’ll bask in their glory. Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt, Your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever.

This year I prophesy as you are going to get double for your trouble!!!!

I appreciate all those who have continued to sow into the reaching of souls and setting free of captives. This year God will be doing double through me, as I revisit some places and also visit new places as the Lord leads. Pray about giving today and becoming the hands and feet of God through me.

A few ways you can sow-

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

Princess “Love” Diaries

adorable-beautiful-child-1700878.jpg

I wrote a lot today but after watching “Late Night”, I was even more inspired to write truthfully. Mindy has a way of inspiring me. She is not white, she is in fact ASIAN! It’s good to see a fellow Asian writing movies.

SO I named this blog post Princess Diaries because unlike the princess in many stories, I have been the prince in my own life for my whole life. Jesus was my prince sure, but I was very masculine growing up, I had to be my own bread winner, to support myself since I was very young. Even if I didn’t really want to, something inside of me said that I must “DO DO DO” and I never understood the laid back life. It was only until I understood grace that I learned to rest….but then God took me on a journey last year that seriously wore me out. I LOST all my strength and even my desires.

I AM A PRINCESS and I want to live like one. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. What I mean is so many women have fought for rights and I get that, but for once I’d like someone to take care of me. I get that I’m a pioneer but I can’t go on any longer forging a new path, for once I like 100 people behind me saying “YOU CAN DO IT!”

I’m tired of praying in tongues trying to encourage myself is what I’m saying. I’m not alone. I have gathered women on my journey who have contended and prayed for me and I AM SO GRATEFUL.

But I’m asking God now “OKAY I’m ready for my prince!” Like the real life one.

I think sometimes singles look at married couple and think “how did he/she get that husband/wife, are they more qualified than I” as if it’s a job that you need to be qualified for…and when you’re following Jesus and you’ve sacrificed

You wonder “why did they find each other” when she didn’t really do anything as if husband/wives are like rewards you get for following Jesus.

And then when the life partner takes a freaken long time to come you think “what did I do wrong?”

Well good news- it’s not something you earn.

Because a life partner is a gift, like anything else good in this life, not something you earn by your works.

And my advice is, just don’t settle. Wait for the right person. Everyone has their own life story and no one has the same timeline. Sometimes when you’ve waited a long time for some of God’s promises to come to pass in your life, you feel forgotten…you think, what the hell God. Serious? 

Where did I get it wrong?

Did I waste too much time with my ex? DO I need to dye my hair? Cut my hair? DO I need to go on tinder like everyone else? Do I need to go on dates with people I’m only 10% interested in?

And my answer is….no.

You are enough.

I know it sounds so simple, but you’re not lacking anything and when you journey through life, YOUR LIFE PARTNER WILL COME. Period. 

Don’t wait for those “things” and “people” to come. LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE NOW.

A year ago when I was in LA, I watched over 70 movies in 7 months by myself (save 2 that I watched with a girl I met at the gym and 1 where I divinely sat next to her the whole movie….and at the end she called my name)- btw I had moviepass. LOL.

I LOVE movies and I want to write and direct them.

Here’s the thing, I didn’t wait for a date to watch these movies, I just followed my heart. Don’t ever wait for others to get it or to come along your adventures, most people are too slow and too scared to do it. 

It is coming- whatever you have dreamed of. Don’t give up hope just because you don’t see it now. I know that waiting seems indefinite but I always tell people, “well you are only single for the first part ish of your life” (for the youngans I’m talking to), then you are married for the rest of your life. So, what do you want to do now?

I want you to start dreaming again. I know many things died in your life- perhaps a dream, a person, a career….but what would it look like if your life was a phoenix rising up to the skies? 

I’ve only started dreaming again. I’ve had so many disappointments that I’ve stopped dreaming and even in the midst of ministry, I felt my heart was neglected somehow. I feel like this is the season to receive everything I’ve sown into others.

May the deaths in your vision resurrect. May your heart pound again and may you have butterflies again. May you laugh with excitement and jump up and down due to glee. May your eyes light up with hope and joy. May the flowers that you pass by in dark seasons become vivid yellows and blues. May your words and colors flow again. May you paint with renewed passion. May you conduct and produce all that the creator put in you. May you receive everything you’ve been yearning for. May you have people that you call home, who support you and create a safe place for your heart.

You won’t have to prove yourself in this season. 

It’s too tiring. No. This season, you won’t have to explain yourself. This season, it will be filled with ease. This season, you will receive an award for being you. This season you won’t pretend to be happy when you’re not and sad when you’re not. This season you will smile with authenticity and you will only allow the genuine ones into your life.

There was too much deception and manipulation in the last season, too many wolves in sheep skin, too many deceptive spirits and too many falls into dark caves.

This season you will soar and it will be easy. 

I declare this over you. It will be an easy season, where you will naturally reap everything Jesus paid for you to have. 

I readily submit myself to this plan. For now I have nothing to lose.

In Jesus name amen.

Journey with me on this path of recovering your heart and dreams friend- sow a seed: thank you!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

 

You Have The Freedom To Make Mistakes

Asian culture and breaking off the spirit of perfectionism-

In Asian culture, kids are often punished for making the “wrong decisions”, it’s results in crippling fear that prevents adult children from living in freedom. It says there is no fear in love for perfect love casts out fear.

Recently I’d ask God where I should go or who I should hang out with and after I prayed for myself I realize oh where do I want to go and do I want to hang out with that person. I felt crippled by fear because I had spent time with my mom and every wrong move or word resulted in her yelling at me. It made me wary of relationships in general.

I was reminded that’s legalism when we can’t even live always asking God, He wants us to follow our hearts and live in freedom.

We can’t bring in that part of Asian culture into our relationship with God because God does not punish us for making the wrong decisions, He wants us to choose freely and if we don’t like something, He wants us to feel the freedom to change our course.

We shouldn’t feel condemned for changing our minds or choosing something that doesn’t align with peoples’ expectations of us. That is true freedom.

When you feel condemned you overthink things and feel like you have to 100 percent correct instead of living in freedom. You start asking God which way instead of just living but you feel paralyzed by fear so you can’t move forward.

That’s why most people don’t move forward because they think they have to live with their decisions forever and they can’t change it but it’s not true.

Asians might be known for being excellent in things, but they are not known for individuality.

Because the culture praises conformity and perfection versus freedom.

Making the wrong move in Asian countries means social condemnation and familial shame. There is a huge culture of condemnation and I pray God would set these countries free from that demonic stronghold.

I pray Asians would have an understanding of Jesus’ grace.

Because the Holy Spirit is free- not confined to rules and structures.

Journey with me on this path of recovering your heart and dreams friend- sow a seed: thank you!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

You Are Free

To give you a laugh 😂

After I wrote yesterday’s blog post I met up with my friend and it was the first time I laughed in a long time. I’m not saying I didn’t laugh on my journey but it was so challenging I felt exhausted most of the time.

She said that God was pruning me on this trip and that now my leaves and branches will grow strong.

We prayed for my mother and my family.

This night I had an intense dream where this lady was trying to say that she was my sister. She came to my old house and tried to come in my house. She claimed to be related to me.

My mom and I pretended to get in the car with her but then my mom rammed her and her child into the garage 3 times.

They both knocked out and died.

We tried to get rid of the evidence but I accidentally touched the dead woman’s phone and was afraid they would blame me for the death.

In the dream the police rounded up a bunch of people to question them. My mom took out the SIM card from her and my phone. There was another phone framed on the wall.

I was scared of being caught and hid under the table.

Prophetic word-

It’s time to let go of the past, I am wiping your bad memories. Do not reminiscence the past for your future won’t be like your past. You’ve been traumatized by the hardships and challenges but that won’t define your future. I’m clearing your shame and guilt says the Lord.

You are free, you are free, you are free.

I’m setting you free because your future is bright.

Your future is brighter than you can imagine. Oh it’s so good. It’s better than you can imagine. It’s beautiful.

Don’t look back. This time it truly is what I said. It’s truly good.

Journey with me on this path of recovering your heart and dreams friend- sow a seed: thank you!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

Walk In The Unknown

I moved a lot growing up so I was constantly walking into the unknown. Not by choice though. Me in Germany.

Most of our society walks in the known. The known is comfortable, safe, without unknowns but God constantly pushes us to trust Him to walk with Him in the unknowns.

So that’s where though we think we are “resting” often we are submitting to fear. It’s sounds strange because of course some people seriously need to rest but most people sit in front of the television as the world passes by.

Watching tv is not resting. Yes, there are seasons of that but even in this season I feel wary thinking about the future.

I’m back in LA but heading out June 24.

I’m not sure what to expect and to be honest I’m a little traumatized by everything I went through this year ministering on the road. I’m not sure if I ever want to experience it again yet I know God is calling me to a higher level of faith.

I kind of hate that He has called me to this life.

I keep telling Him “I can’t do it”.

I can’t go on anymore.

I feel numb.

And that’s my heart wanting to be comfortable, to succumb to fear.

Jesus- You can do anything you set your mind to.

Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to live a boring life?

Jesus- then you’ll be bored.

Okay then.

God I kind of don’t want to trust you.

Jesus- you’re not an orphan, you’re a child of God.

Me- but I went through a lot of things I didn’t really want to go through.

Jesus- but you got through it.

Me- but I have bad memories from it and I’m mentally trying to protect myself from future instances of a) being severely accused of or rejected by people I minister to b) having to be on the streets and having to ask judgmental people for help c) the list goes on.

Jesus- you are enough.

Don’t settle for the past or even think about the past. Move forward.

Me- My body and psyche can’t seem to move forward.

Jesus- let go and focus on me. Let go of every hindering memory and focus on me. Focus on my goodness. The enemy wants you to focus on the bad experiences. I am a good father – do you trust me?

Me- no not right now. But I’m still following you- I just don’t feel the joy.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

2 Corinthians 4:8

This is my process. I know it’s been a hard week for some of you and in the battle it’s easy to lose joy so I pray right now God will bring back joy into your heart and if you need to cry- cry. I pray encouragement over your hearts.

I will be heading to Taiwan then China. I’m not sure what God has in store but I know most missionaries are getting kicked out of China so it helps that I’m independent in the sense that I’m just going where the spirit leads instead of being stationed like most missionaries.

I am now raising funds for what’s ahead. Flight tickets and living fees. Would you consider partnering with me in bringing Christ to the world?

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com