The Perfect Husband Does Exist

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Today I watched Dr.Phil talk to a woman who had almost been killed 2 times by her husband. He brought in a woman who had been set on fire by her husband. This woman warned the other woman.

“Do you believe you are worthy?” Dr. Phil said. 

Often times we live out what we believe about ourselves and when we don’t grow up with right examples, we live out our inner reality.

The other day I was at a mall and the Lord asked me to pray for a cleaner. After I prayed for her I noticed she had a black eye and asked her about it. She said “bad decisions”. “Is it a guy?” I asked. “yes”. She looked down. I said that if she left the guy the Lord will be with her to provide for her and to help her. That she is NEVER alone.

Then another day I was on a train and started to talk to a woman who was in a relationship with a man who called her names, names that you wouldn’t want anyone to call your daughter or friend. I told her approximately 10 times that she needed to break up with him. 

But I understand this all too well. I didn’t see my dad for 10 years and the unworthiness factor made me long for a guy’s attention. This manifested in dating the wrong guys, jerks, or putting myself in situations that were dangerous.

It was only until my ex, and meeting a lot of jerks that I finally said to God “I want nothing but you”. 

I stopped dating and suddenly all the jerks, guys disappeared from my life. Even cute guys disappeared from the street. They just didn’t appear at all.

Nothing and no one could have told me to stop, it was my feeling of “I’ve HAD ENOUGH” that caused me to stop wanting unsavory food. 

Falling in LOVE with God is a process. We don’t just fall in love with God, we have to make decisions that draw us closer to God. We have to let go of our own agendas, our own choices to allow God near our hearts. God will not break down your wall, you have to let Him in.

I’ve been single for 5 years. I’ve liked or been attracted to guys in the middle but essentially I said to God “you and you alone until you bring me my husband”.

This means crying to God when I feel alone, this means relying on God when money is dry, this means relying on God for protection on the road, this means telling Him my inner fears and rants.

Sanctification is a process. I’m not perfect, far from it. I’m weak but God is strong for me.

I wish I knew my worth back then but everything I’ve gone through taught me how to value myself. I am glad that God protected me enough that I didn’t get hurt to the extent that most people do. One thing I committed to myself was that I was going to save myself for marriage. I still did things that compromised my worth but never again.

When you’ve been through enough you’ll know when it’s time to turn to God alone. God is a better man than anyone will ever be for you. He will take care of you and your needs. He is attentive and He listens when others don’t. 

He will ease all your fears and He is reliable, He is trustworthy.

He is a good father, a good husband, a good friend.

“I love you. I will never leave nor forsake you. I am a good husband. I will take care of you. I will not cheat on you. I will hold your hand through the thick and thin. I will hold your heart in the palm of my hands and I will never let go. I am attentive to your needs and desires, I will not forsake you. I promise you this”- God

For your Maker is your husband—
    the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
    he is called the God of all the earth.
The Lord will call you back
    as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
    only to be rejected,” says your God.
 “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
    but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
In a surge of anger
    I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
    I will have compassion on you,”
    says the Lord your Redeemer.

The perfect husband is Jesus. 

Give- Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

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https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

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The Unfolding

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If you were reading my life story, you’d be like wow. This is what happened on my 31st birthday.

A few days ago, I was sitting at a food court and I prayed for a mom and son. I did not know how significant the prophetic vision for the son was until the mom shared about it in small group.

Well, how did I end up in the small group?

I was in Perth and I knew they lived there but I didn’t feel like I was supposed to contact her yet. 4 days in a hostel, the woman contacted me via facebook and told me they were having small group at her house and that I could stay with her. I had a whole week booked at the hostel, but only had 2 more days left.

I made a quick decision while sitting alone on my birthday. I thought to myself “what the heck am I doing, of course I want to be with other Christians on my birthday, of course I want a birthday cake”.

I think I was hesitant because I was afraid of what to expect. 

I had gone through years of being misunderstood by other Christians and on this trip, God had restored my hope in Christian friendships. I had met a lot of religious spirited Christians before and even on this trip. Before knowing my heart, they judged and rejected me. It was hurtful. They judged the form and not the love. 

But God was slowly rebuilding my hope and faith in the church (the body of Christ).

First he restored some old relationships, people who used to be conservative, but now understood the holy spirit.

Then he sent me to my spiritual land (South Africa) where I was celebrated by other brothers and sisters. I was honored, not disgrace.

Then through fundraising, He showed me that people believed in what God was doing through me and that I shouldn’t give up.

He is teaching me to be fearless.

He said this to me –

“It doesn’t matter what people think of you, because whatever accusations they throw at you- they are lies. You are righteous in my eyes and you have a heart of David. Not everyone will understand the anointing you carry or the path you are pioneering, but look to me. I am your covering, no one else. I am enough for you. I am your strong hand, I am your protector and your provider, I am with you always”. 

I mentioned some of the accusations people threw at me while following Jesus, I now realize I can throw them away for good and not let them bother me anymore. It’s crazy how powerful words are. It sticks with you for years and prevents you from seeing new relationships right.

Because God is doing a new thing and we can no longer let our perspective be tainted by the past. 

No more woundedness, walking out into the light.

I am crying thinking about all the pain I felt from being rejected and misunderstood for so long while clinging onto Jesus and following a path that was unpioneered. When you finally meet people who have been through it or people who admire you instead of judge you, it’s like a really bad wrong that has been righted by God. 

There is no one like Jesus.

I promise you that even though some people reject you, you are walking into a season where you will be celebrated- but you must be willing to expose your heart again. 

The fear of rejection and judgement is real. But God wants us to be so firm in our identity that we will not waver but be brave, be bold and go forth to conquer the land that is ours. 

It doesn’t matter who thinks what about you, the only thought that matters is God’s and His thoughts are love towards you.

You are worthy. You are worthy in God’s eyes. My love is real for you says the Lord. My heart burns for you. I died on the cross for you, I was thinking of you says the Lord.

Thank you for those who have been ministry partners and have been sending me out in obedience to the Lord. I pray the Lord protect and bless you. 

Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

The Only Anguish In My Heart

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Another Christian I met in Singapore hostel, we prayed for the country and sang to Jesus together.

The only anguish in my heart is for those that don’t know Jesus.

Today I found myself praying and crying to the Lord. God I pray that people will see the undying love of Christ and come to you.

It can be discouraging when you offer to pray for someone and they straight up say “no we don’t believe”.

Belief is a powerful thing. I sat there in the pool watching them as they silently sat reading their books. Though it seemed like a peaceful villa (I felt led to go there even though it wasn’t where I was staying but you are welcome to go and buy a drink), it seemed ominously quiet.

I thought about how sometimes when we don’t want interference, interruptions, noise, we are actually afraid to open our hearts to something new, maybe love, maybe an undying love named Jesus.

Sometimes we’d rather sit in brokenness than allow love to seep into our hearts. 

Sometimes we’d rather stay wounded than allow healing to occur.

Sometimes we’d rather run to distraction than allow ourselves to face the pain we’ve ignored for most of our lives. 

Even in the partying or celebrations our hearts could be broken.

So I sang out to Jesus- God bring them closer to your heart, bring them closer, bring them home.

The anguish in my heart is feeling like I’ve no control over how people react or how close they are to Jesus. I cannot force someone to see Jesus with their hearts, I cannot force someone to open their hearts.

Sometimes people are open and happy for some prayer, blessing and prophetic word about their life. Sometimes people wave their hand and say “no I don’t believe”. Sometimes they are so wounded they can’t see that true love exists, that betrayal sat too deeply in their memories to be forgiven.

I don’t feel rejected when they say no. I feel pain.

I feel pain that they are looking at the answer, but they are not willing to accept it. 

God has broken my heart for what breaks His. My only anguish is seeing a world full of people in despair and not seeing the One who can deliver them.

I am a drink offering being poured out everyday and I am praying everyday Lord bring them closer to you.

This night the Lord told me to knock on a young man’s door and pray for him. He is staying at the same hostel but in a private room. I wasn’t sure if it was his door but he opened. I said I was leaving tomorrow but that I wanted to pray for him and he said that he is not religious and turned away his face. I said, “okay, Jesus loves you”.

God break off the numbness in our hearts that prevent us from receiving your love. Your love is so amazing, it is wonderful, it is indescribable. You died on the cross for us and you thought of everyone of us. Your love captivates my heart. Your love is the only love worth living for. You healed my heart and I am longing for all people to know this love, this love that gives me rest and comfort. I pray this in Jesus name.

I am reminded of the story of Hosea. He married a harlot and the harlot, instead of wanting to be loved by one man,  went back to her old ways and lived a life of prostitution. Yet, Hosea waited for her. 

I am reminded that God waits for us and His love has no bounds. He continues to knock on our doors without asking for anything in return.

Thank you for those who have been ministry partners and have been sending me out in obedience to the Lord. I pray the Lord protect and bless you.

Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

The Path of Intimacy

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The path of intimacy with Jesus requires that He prunes you (to cut off or cut back parts of for better shape or more fruitful growth- Mirriam Webster).

Jesus will prune you of things that are not of Him, unhealthy soul ties, attachment to things or status, a need for external things to validate your identity. 

He does this not because He is mean, but because He is good. First He has to prune you from what you think you need.

Because He is ALL that you need. And He is the only one that will complete you so that you become enough, whole, NOT lacking. 

He wants to give you ALL things, He wants to bless you and spoil you.

But He cannot do it when you are wanting it out of lack. Because in Christ you are not lacking. 

Imagine if you felt like there was something missing within you, so you go searching for it- in a relationship, in your career, in your finances, in material things, in fame, in status, in reputation, in how others view you….

You ask God to answer your prayers.

“God please give me this and that, please give me a husband, please please….because I don’t have enough and I am not enough….ultimately, because I don’t believe that you are enough”.

God wants to give you EVERYTHING, but He will make sure that LACK belief is out of your system before He blesses you. He wants that blessing to be a representation of WHO YOU ARE, not who you are not.

Ultimately, He wants you to know who He is in the process. He wants you to know His heart for you, He wants to sing over you versus you getting what you want and then walking away, then desperately praying for Him to deliver you when you are in a bind.

Are you willing to be solely committed to Jesus, as His bride? (even if you are a man)

Do you believe He will never leave nor forsake you? Will you walk with Him in the process instead of running away or only coming to Him when you are desperate?

A wife trusts, relies on her husband. Jesus who is whole and complete made you whole and complete with His sacrifice on the cross. You are not lacking one thing. 

When you believe you are whole, all things will be added unto you. Everything you could ever imagine and much more. 

God Wants To Meet You In The Unknown

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I’ve been battling a cold recently.

I had a dream last night where I couldn’t figure out what train to get on, whether to Azusa or Disneyland. I took the train the wrong way, I got off, then took the train the right way, and then got off to take another train. Then I just decided to go use the restroom which was in between both trains. A door opened up for me to go number one.

In another dream, I was trying to choose the right cup to drink water from because I was parched. But I didn’t like any of the cups. Some were too big and some were dirty. Then I was lying on the beach and I had no sunscreen on and my eye was parched.

When I woke up I felt like God wanted to meet me in the unknown.

The waiting and transition season often feels like a drag. It feels uncertain, unstable…you often can’t answer peoples’ questions like “what have you been up to?”

Your reply might be “just resting”.

But it’s not just resting, it’s meeting God in the unknown. 

The transition period often calls for us to be still and know that God is God. 

He wants to remind us of His character – that He is good, that He loves us, that He knows what He is doing, that He sometimes puts us in a season of rest so that we understand His character.

And that is why Resting is so hard for people of this world. RESTING means letting go and trusting that everything will work out. 

That is why most people cannot rest if they have dire circumstances in life, but we know that Jesus is working on our behalf (we live from a place of victory) and so even in dire circumstances our hearts can rest in a God who knows what HE is doing, who is trust worthy and who never LEAVES nor forsakes us. 

So it’s not really just about God answering your prayers or delivering a miracle….it’s manifesting all those things HE wants to give us from a place of knowing how much He loves us and cares for us. He wants us to live out of our God given identities.

He wants to bless us as fathers bless their children, from a pure heart of love.

Whenever I try to figure out or ask God “what should I do?” I now know that I want to DO without knowing who He is or who I am.

When we are trying to figure out what’s next, it is often because “in the waiting” we have become impatient and doubt creeps in. This doubt asks us “does God knows what He is doing? Is He a good God? Should I try to handle this situation now since it doesn’t seem like God is doing anything?”

In the transition period, God desires for us to KNOW His character and heart in a deeper and stronger way.  He wants us to know WHO He really is in every circumstance. He wants us to mature in our understanding of our position in Christ.

So many people want to have His material blessings without becoming people who walk with Him as friends. The true blessing is becoming a people who carry His presence and become blessings on this earth because of their intimacy with Jesus. 

God desires for us to KNOW who we are– people with spiritual inheritance and authority. A people who have a Father who loves them.

God desires for us to KNOW who HE is– A God who loves us unconditionally and HAS PLANS to prosper us and not to harm us.

The unknown season forces us to get to know WHO we are in Christ and WHO He is for US.

So don’t feel burdened or rushed to get to the next season, there are treasures of intimacy in the unknown and waiting season. Feed your soul and spirit with the love of God. Indulge in the love God has for you. Rest in knowing that His grace is enough for you.

“I need you to understand who you are and who I am for you before I open the doors to the next season. Not knowing who you are could cause you to open doors to people and opportunities that will hurt you more than help you. I need you to walk in the Christ given authority you were meant to walk in, you inheritance causes you to walk in true spiritual power”- says the Lord.

Single-Minded

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This is for all my single ladies and gents out there who are waiting for their true love.

I kept hearing this phrase “single-minded”. It has two meanings obviously, single on your mind and single minded “having or concentrating on only one aim or purpose” (google). 

I’ve been meeting a lot of ladies who have singleness on their mind. They are looking for their true love, their husband.

I have been single for 4 years, minus the dating spree I went on after breaking up with my ex. I knew he was not going to be my husband. We didn’t have any similar vision or calling in life.

For some reason, I actually feel quite peaceful about it. 

I think it’s because I have become single-minded – living with and for Jesus. 

This was not always the case. If anyone should be boy-crazed, drama filled or dysfunctional it should be me. If anyone should have a boat load of daddy issues, it should be me since I did not see my dad for 10 years; and still, I see him every few years. He lives in another country.

Yes, my former years in middle school and high school were filled with tears, heart ache, journals filled with love stories with imaginary boyfriends and celebrities. If anyone should still have love drama in my life, it should be me…I mean I was the one girl who stood across the street from a crush’s house and creepily watched him walk in his house everyday.

So why at this point of being single for 4 years am I so content and peaceful?

It took awhile for me to heal from my past relationships. My heart desired acceptance. My life was laden with rejection and abandonment issues that I felt unsafe and insecure. I felt like I was lacking and that I wasn’t enough.

I tried to find security in imaginary boyfriends or eventually real boyfriends.

Sometimes my security was anchored in a career, in my drive and type A personality.

Sometimes my security was anchored in how much I could do for others. This often led to burn out and sickness.

Sometimes my security was anchored in how productive I was or how accomplished I was.

I was also a mommy pleaser. I did things for my mom and others for acceptance and validation.

It took some time for God to break off those things from me. Slowly I found my voice, I found the voice to say “no”. I valued myself more. 

One day I woke up and unfriended and unfollowed every guy I ever dated or had feelings for.

I became “single-minded”. 

I didn’t want to play around with my destiny anymore. I wanted to be single-minded, to focus on the only one who already gave me true love and true validation. This one was named Jesus. He took me in His arms and whispered truths to me. He told me how much He loved me and how proud of me He was.

Yes, did I spend many holidays, new years, Christmas eve, Christmas alone?

Yes, but I wasn’t alone. God was with me and it was peaceful…no drama.

Did I find the silence sometimes confusing, unbearable? Yes.

Did I find myself going on walks feeling like I was always going to be in the stage I was in life? Yes.

Did I sometimes have negative thoughts that plagued me, speaking lies and telling me that I was “not enough”? Yes.

But Jesus was with me through it all. He helped me overcome all things and continues to do so. He is with me in the pain, the tears and the laughter. He is with me in all things. 

I was in a wilderness for the past 4 years, rebuilding my heart and following the still small voice. I was misunderstood, rejected and left for dead. But through it all, I became powerful in my spirit. Nothing could faze me. I was scorned by my own family members, accused when I was actually just following God.

The path that Jesus walks on is not always easy. It requires sacrifice.

But everything HE calls you to is worth it because you are always upgraded in your spirit, overcoming fear, anger, bitterness, grief. 

Suddenly you find yourself in the storm, sleeping peacefully while everyone is screaming for their lives.

That is the true single mindedness I’m talking about.

When you come to a place where you realize you are enough, you are not lacking, you are not single, you are whole in Christ Jesus. You are not a fragmented piece looking for your other half, you are a whole piece who will meet another whole piece.

Dream Again!

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I woke up from a dream this morning with a sense of wonder.

In this dream, my mom was chasing after a little boy and the little boy and his brother grew up. I then played with the older brother. He had little shower curtains and cute little towel (like for dolls). People around me said I was in love with him but I said I was just playing.

Then I went into a glass room where I was playing cello with two other musicians. I started playing intricately. There was no teacher, just mentors. The mentors said I was actually in tune even though the other two musicians was criticizing me.

When I woke up, I heard “Dream Again”.

The Lord said “dream and play like a child. The reason many have lost their ability to dream is because they attached their dreams to their identity, needing to prove themselves, needing to make a living….they stopped dreaming and playing with me.

They started worrying about how they will make money instead of trusting me to provide for them. In their search for worldly meaning and purpose, they stopped creating with me just for the joy of it.

They traded joy for WORLDLY SECURITY. 

They traded identity as a child of God for WORLDLY IMAGE. 

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What do you think it would LOOK like for children of God to TRUST GOD completely and WALK out their life with pure joy and childlike play? 

It would revolutionize the world. 

It would be fearless. It would be wild. It would be amazing. It would be FREEING. It would be joyful. It would be bliss.

We would share and give generously.

We would also receive abundantly.

God wants you to be so SECURE IN YOUR IDENTITY that you have no fear OF what others think about you- this is including those around you (like friends, family and coworkers…maybe even pastors or mentors).

What is it that you have been too scared to do?

God wants to dream and create with you. 

He will provide everything you need.

A DREAM is not something you chase, but it is purely creating with the creator of the world and finding joy in the process of creating with God. A dream is a relational process that draws you close to the Maker. 

A DREAM is also not about being first at anything, winning awards or getting applause from people. A dream is more about coming alive in your identity as sons and daughters of God.

Many of you may be wondering why God doesn’t just give things to you…He is actually removing the things that hinder you from dreaming and living freely (for example: the fear of men – what people think of you, the fear of lack, etc). Until these fears are removed, you cannot live freely the way God intended you to live.

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