Love is here and now

On July 16, 2016July 16, 2016 By Rebekka LienIn God, law of attraction, love, therapy, writer

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I am here, now and with you.

God is not in the distance, God is here with you, I am right here. I am not when you get the new car or find a new friend or relationship, I am here and now.

I found myself holding my breath and walking fast, I want to get home so I can relax. I hear “I am here within you”. GOD is with me, wherever and whenever, I dont have to wait to get somewhere else to access His presence. When we get anxious we forget that God is in control of our problems, we are not alone.

GOD IS NOT INTERESTED IN ONLY SOLVING OUR PROBLEMS, He desires a relationship where we can vent to,talk to and reason with Him…where we can be emotionally vulnerable. God is not interested in human strength, in fact he says “in your weakness I am made strong” or I would say “in my weakness God’s strength comes through the more”. That is why he loves when we come asking for help, he loves our confusion, he loves the tears as we finally come to the end of ourselves and to the beginning of God miracles.

Emotional Vulnerability

On July 14, 2016 By Rebekka LienIn faith, God, lawofattraction, lifehack, love, self-help, spirtual

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(Phuket, Thailand)

I’m stepping out and letting my heart be exposed. I’m letting go of control. Your heart is safe for me.

I’m learning emotional vulnerability with God. I’ve had a relationship with God since I was very young. I didn’t grow up with my dad, and my mom was rather emotionally unavailable. I often played under the table in my room. I had a really wild upbringing, mostly being home alone at a young age. I was free in a way, but always looking for protection, always defending and protecting my heart. I read an article I wrote about my life in a newspaper to my mom once and she got really mad, told me not to write about it because it seems like she was really irresponsible and neglected me.

But I realize that when I’m vulnerable with the world, perhaps I can reach one person who feels alone, someone in pain, someone who isn’t brave enough to ask others for help.

I’m afraid to write honestly because of how mean the world has been to me. Because of the response I’ve gotten to my writing, because of the judgement I’ve heard from strangers. Here’s vulnerability.

I’ve been afraid to be myself because how the world has treated me, or perhaps how I’ve treated myself.

For awhile my heart was numb because of all the pain I went through in my life. I felt pain because of I felt like I couldn’t breathe again after a broken relationship, I felt pain because I lost friends that were dear to me, I got mad at God, I closed my heart off. Instead of going to God for comfort, I pretended everything was okay.

Joseph had a dream, a big dream and his brothers laughed at him, he was tricked and sent to prison for years. That was his desert. I’m just walking out of the prison. The prison was people who were close to me laughing at my dreams. The prison was my shutting my heart off. The prison was pretending to forgive and forget, but feeling the pain still. The prison was my unwillingness to believe that God was safe.

And slowly I poured my heart out, it is a physical tension I still feel. I’ll feel a literal ache in my heart, my neck starts to hurt and in the pressure of all the stress, my hand has felt numb as if an after effect of my heart tension.

So in it all, I let go of controlling the pain or the fears. Because I know you are safe God.

Divine Letting Go

On July 9, 2016 By Rebekka LienIn art, dream, entrepreneur, faith, God, law of attraction, lifehack, love, self-help, travel

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That is the formula to letting God work in your life, let go of control….of everything. And what that means is watch the second season of Jane The Virgin, I still have 11 episodes left. It is currently my favorite show. She also happens to be a writer. I also love Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and her name happens to be Rebecca.

Anyways, being an empath, I feel deeply for people when they are in pain. I have been trying to help a family member who is depressed over her life, so here I am helping her….but in attempt to, I got depressed myself because she would take her frustration out on me. I confronted her and she apologized, even saying I dont remember yelling at you,…when you are depressed you dont realize you hurt people because you cant see right.

So I thought, I got to get some alone time. Divinely, I arrived 5 minutes before a free zumba class at the library. How divine! Then I BUMP into my friend at the check out! What? More like she called my name….what?

So I took a zumba class I did not plan for.

And well my mind was analyzing my life. Okay, let go of that family member, allow her to help herself. Stop letting her life depress you. Let her go through her own process.

Then I thought, okay what are the chances that I am just imagining myself dancing in a latin American country? I AM ALSO LEARNING ESPANOL!!! I THINK I Am ready to move there right now.

Then as I am binge watching my tv show, some other friend says hi to me at starbucks. So instead of trying to figure out my life or the next country or project that I am supposed to go to or work on, living in flow is just that…..dancing the journey (and enjoying it), instead of focusing on how perfect the steps are.

The right people and the right things will call your name-

Rebekka???

Yes I am here!

The Myth of Not Being Enough

On July 7, 2016July 7, 2016 By Rebekka LienIn dream, faith, Uncategorized

You are enough, for God. But usually not for humans. If you were purely living in grace, you are enough. Now, when you’re a kid, you get to play, and you’re allowed to be goofy. As you grow up, you gradually notice that you are rewarded for “being good” to your parents. You know, being obedient. Then, you are applauded for accomplishing things like getting A’s, being president of some volunteer organization or club at school, writing a good essay for your college, getting into a good college, dating the right kind of person that your friends approve of, looking nice, losing weight, the list seems to go on.

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That’s me just playing, because I wanted to, because I was curious, because I was interested, not because I was being forced to.

As you get older, you are applauded for getting the right kind of job with the right salary, you are congratulated for having a kid, getting married, maybe staying at a few luxury resorts….you get applauded for trying, but not really for failing. Or for living at home with your parents when you are 30…definitely not applauded for still being single and doing odd jobs and freelancing….you definitely are not applauded for “being” because “being” seems lazy, seems well, lazy times two.

Your whole life after 3 years old, or whatever age you stopped playing because your parents wanted you to “succeed”, is a whole list of doing, trying, accomplishing, checking off lists. It’s a tiring rat race.

After I became self-employed, I had to release the idea of trying. I hustled really hard. And even that wasn’t freedom, it was slavery to the whole system of striving. When I finally gave into what I call grace, allowing God to open the right doors, I still struggle with it at times…but now I’m more sensitive to it.

The spirit of striving is like this spirit that sits on your shoulder and tells you “YOU’RE NOT ENOUGH = DO MORE!”

Do you ever notice that when you want attention and love from people, you rarely get it? You seem desperate and people can smell it? But when you’re content and filled with love, people love to bother you. It’s because that is BEING. The God void in your heart isn’t supposed to come from people, they can’t fill your every need. It’s supposed to come from within, a divine Godly love.

And when you are filled with DIVINE LOVE, people are attracted to real unconditional, spirit filled love. A desperate need for love comes from fear, fear of not being enough. Fear that you need peoples’ approval.

Yesterday my mom was like “if only you had studied something else”. I’m like, “you want a happy daughter or a miserable one?” And Helen Fisher had really helped me discover my personality, I got 97% explorer, which just means I don’t like being controlled and I love excitement and variety…….paired with builder is a no no because they tend to be too structured and have a need for stability. Which makes a lot of sense because in my past relationships the guy didn’t even have a passport. And here I am literally itching to go to 100 more countries.

SO rest into what I call divine grace.

And if you don’t understand what that means, ask. And you shall receive the answer as I am slowly learning. It’s a lifestyle, it’s a divine now.

You are enough. Stop doing and start soaking in the love that fills you to the overflow.

“And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.”- Romans 11:6

Don’t Act Like A Slave

On June 30, 2016June 30, 2016 By Rebekka LienIn dream, law of attraction, lawofattraction, lifecoach, Uncategorized

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Why do we act like slaves when we have been given freedom?

I used to be her.

Uppity, full of worldly ambition, striving, smiling to be nice and to please ther world….running in the same rat race. But i got to so many places and saw that everyone has an imaginery cage.

You know, the person with a business who has become a slave to her own business, unable and unwilling to take a break, feeding her ego : look everyone I must be important because I am busy!!!! Busy doing who knows what, busy serving other people. Ego.

Or the person who will not stop to enjoy himself just because everyone else is enslaved. To buts, can’ts, will not, one day.

When will we become conscious?

I used to be her. And so as i sat there, felt an uneasy gratitude, I have evolved so much yet it was such a difficult journey to awaken to freedom.

We all have freedom to do what we want, why do we wait until someone gives us permission?

Fear is irrational. It only becomes real when we believe it.

Heaven Is For Real

On June 25, 2016June 25, 2016 By Rebekka LienIn dream, Uncategorized1 Comment

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Photo by http://www.see.place and google (does not belong to me).

I’m a dreamer, I dream almost every night. They are long dreams, like a movie. Sometimes I dream about heaven, actually my spirit is there, it’s too real. When I dream about heaven, I always have a feeling of wonder, like when I’m watching a movie by myself in the theater. Maybe that’s why I love film so much, because what is real is not what we see, but what we see with our hearts.

This night I have a dream that I am in an apartment, I’m sleeping, I wake up and clean, I look out the window and see a sign that says Hawaii. However, it is really strange. There are boats and people walking on water. Except they are actually walking on land, which is under water. There are boats like the ones I’ve seen in Thailand. It is a little gloomy. I try to walk out of the apartment, but there are so many rooms I can’t seem to get out.

Finally, I see two girls, they are twins and roommates of the girl I’m staying with.

We are talking, suddenly I feel dizzy because the apartment starts moving. Maybe the island around me is moving? I’m confused, as the room starts moving, I see the land. We are actually floating, but there is land and ocean.

It looks like the blue city in Morocco, but it is all situated in and over water so imagine the blue city surrounded by water. It is magical, beautiful, stunning, my heart can’t take the beauty anymore. When we arrive somewhere, we get off. I’m shocked, okay, the whole time I had gone into a room that was actually a vehicle, I was then transported.

I’m shocked and tell them I’m not going wherever they are going. And for some odd reason, they say they are going to Denver, on a roadtrip, for 9 days. 9 days adds up to July 4 which is the day God told me something would happen in my life.

I tell the bus load of people, I can’t go, no I didn’t even bring water! I have nothing on me, I left my wallet in the “real apartment”. I see out on the sideline and see my friend, but he has something stuck in his eye and I freak out.

I know it’s addressing some feelings of not knowing where I’m going or doing next, or what July 4 will bring, readiness, preparedness in my heart, but before I know it I wake up.

The Spiritual Implication of Change

On June 24, 2016 By Rebekka LienIn Politics, UncategorizedLeave a comment

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(photo taken at a cafe in London 2014)

SUMMER IS HERE. That means change.

This year is the year of jubilee, for those that follow spiritual seasons. A lot of shifts and changes are happening in the air. First off, UK pulling out of EU.

Now, when I heard about that, I knew immediately the pound was going to drop in value. However, after my dream, God clarified a few things.

When a country goes through change, and when people are voting for change from traditions, that means they want a NEW THING. They want to break away from what has been so they can see change and new things in their lives. The UK is becoming independent because the majority, more than half of the people are looking for change.

What does it mean? There is a thirst for something more. Discontentment for what is already.

Most of the world will see it as a weakness, however, spirituality, I believe it is one of the greatest thing that is happening. Now countries and world powers are either being removed or realigned. Old traditions are being dismantled.

Spiritual implications is that even though on the outside, people see economic weakness, people will come into their own power in leadership- in their personal lives, leadership will be replaced in politics, government, education, arts, people will awaken to the dreams that have been hidden in tradition. New things will happen in the country.

This is a great reminder that even though you may have gone through a desert in your career, love life, dreams, a great shift is coming where you will be catapulted to your wildest dreams, and where you are has no reflection of where God is bringing you.

My Worse Travel Experience

On June 16, 2016June 16, 2016 By Rebekka LienIn solo travel, travel7 Comments

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If I said I loved cebu, I would be lying. It may be because I went there for work but it was probably the worse experience I’ve ever had and I’ve traveled solo to 20 countries or so as an Asian woman.

No amount of resort hopping made up for how bad it was. And I’ve gotten food poisoning in galapagos, had a car accident in bali and was bed ridden for two weeks, had cussing confrontations with men in Morocco, gotten racist remarks thrown at me…

I tried to be positive too, I’ve always been a positive person. But when my phone got jacked while I was waiting on line…had someone push against me, I screamed for help and everyone stared at me, the police was unconcerned, tried to help me, but when I went to the video room, the proceed to ask me the most inappropriate victim blaming questions like “how come you’re not with your boyfriend?”

“Are you single?”

“Why did you put your phone there?”

Basically these men were hitting on me and I had to feel unsafe after getting my fucking phone stolen? The police station was even more shady, the police were trying to get close, they kept asking me if I was single and I felt really unsafe.

The next day I got a friend request from the swat officer who escorted me to the police station. He asked for my number and I said I already gave him my boss’s number. He said, no what’s your direct number in case I need help.

Wtf.

But the unsafeness didn’t end there.

I was at karaoke with my fellow cast and this Korean dude kept asking me if I was Chinese. When he left, he literally felt up my back, my friend said “don’t fucking touch her” and I said the same thing. I felt yucky, it was too late to throw a punch. My other friend suggested I should wear my jacket and I was like hell no, I’m hot. It made me mad that women are made to feel unsafe and that men are not kept accountable for their actions.

That’s just a few reasons I hated cebu,philippimes. But you see I don’t hate everyone there, of course. I just hate what happened there. I hated the energy I felt. Bad shit does happen to good people. The most positive people.

When I got back to la, my whole body felt tense and sore, like it was tense the whole time I was there and it was finally releasing.

I wish the world was completely safe for women, but the truth is, it isn’t. And until people are held responsible for their actions, they will continue to think its ok, its not ok to steal, its not ok to step into peoples personal space or boundaries.

And of course all this shit happens in America too.

And at the end of the day, I won’t regret ever traveling, I won’t regret a life of freedom and believing that there are good people in this world. Because the spirit of fear and darkness wants usto fear.

That’s why I’m dedicated to fighting injustice, evil and perpetrators.

So if you see something; say something. Not every country has the same morals but if you feel wronged, try to make a change. Try to show that it is not right.

I am the dream

On June 12, 2016 By Rebekka LienIn dream, Uncategorized2 Comments

I am the dream.

You are the dream.

No really. I am the dream, I am not chasing dreams. Dreams are manifesting within me. There are billions of words ready to be said, spoken to the world, story lines, stories, jokes, numbers, globs of paint on canvas, I am the dream.

I am the dream and I don’t and am not waiting for your validation. I am so delusional that I dream about smurfs and fantasies, I choose to walk my own path even when the rest hangs off the cliff of validation.

I am the dream. And until you realize you are the dream, you will chase winds.

I was talent and cast in two different TV shows, one filmed in Paris, one in Cebu and one thing I’ve learned is that even the ones who you think know better, don’t. They are themselves, searching for answers, for dreams, for validation that they have not received.

Not all, but some. Like a bunch of birds following lost birds. This empowered my heart to dig deeper and look that little baby in the sink, you are enough.

Drama Rama

On June 7, 2016June 7, 2016 By Rebekka LienIn coach, dream, entrepreneur, forgiveness, God, law of attraction, love, Uncategorized2 Comments

Movenpick Cebu.

I’m sitting at Shangri-La and I’ve never had so much drama in my life.

I can’t go into detail but I’ve been having many dreams. In all of this, this experience of being in Cebu, filming a tv show,,,,and well losing my phone, oh I meant this strange evil person robbed me and took my phone from my pocket, going to the police and all that,

Here’s some things I’ve learned:

Material things fade. Money can’t buy you worth.
People are fickle. People change constantly and are rather good at hiding their true emotions. We live in a society filled with fear of being authentic and truthful to our spirit.
There is always a blessing in disguise, the blessing sometimes may be a lesson that is sprouting within your spirit, and not a dollar amount.
Choose yourself. Choose what feels good and right in your spirit. People will persuade you to be their friend when misery calls for you to entertain, but you must stand strong.
Stories are knit in our minds based on our past experience of disgrace. We must learn to disassociate ourselves from our false selves and even our memories of who we are and how we relate to other people.
A secret is not worth keeping because it can destroy your soul.
There is no black and white, because people’s emotions are colorful.
There can be hope and love in the world if we learn to break our walls down and show vulnerability.
We live in a society based on competition but how God created us is to work together for our social well being, there is no love when people are isolated. People must come together to communicate their truth.
Forgiveness and letting go- 1st importance.
As much as people tell me to stop being so trusting, I continue to see the best in people because God continues to do that for me, so I will continue to forgive because I know I am not perfect.

PS-

We must choose to let go and forgive daily.
It is a daily exercise of love for our souls.
We can become cold and hard hearted because of what happens to us in life, but our choice to forgive isn’t for other people, it’s for ourselves. The truth is our ego is our worse enemy, it chooses to neglect what we truly need, which is love.
But ego loves pride, loves to think we are better than other people.
By doing so, we isolate ourselves and choose not to help others. …Thus, we no longer have the ability to receive love as our hearts have closed off to help.

XOXO, BEX