Interdependence and Independence

Recently I have gone to great extents to fathom and comprehend the concepts of reliance and independence. Or more so, independence vs. interdependence. Independence meaning you are able to live by yourself, not be dependent on parents/friends, interdependence moving back and forth between depending and being independent (the healthy way). I’ll just write a poem since it is easier for me.

Dance, music, limelights, she stands alone wondering where her other half is.

Her sublime sadness provokes me to madness. Can this really be? That one cannot enjoy oneself?

Although I am able to enjoy myself meeting new friends, I cannot but feel a bit of sympathy.

Co-dependency has united the two. They have destroyed any possibility of independence or interdependence. Once capture by a net of security her parents provided, she is once again captivated by his golden locks. He keeps you stagnant, she said. I said, where has your business gone? Where has your dreams of shops and sweets gone? A life once sparked with future, now crumbling into ashes.

Boundaries. Distance. Separating myself.  I don’t know what co-dependence means nor independence. It’s a weak thing I deem to be unable to enjoy oneself without their other half. I would think that a healthy relationship allows space for growth, apart from each other. But I find myself amidst situations of friendships where friends depend on their partners for happiness. Dependence I think is different from “addition”. I think partners should give you an addition of happiness, a bonus of life. Though what I have observed in my surroundings is that without their partners, they seem to be unable to enjoy happiness.

So I keep observing. Kind of sad. Not knowing whether what I feel is legitimate. Whether this is just part of life, or realizing that once again, maybe friends are just that fragile. Friendship can be distanced and broken because of someone finding their partner. I think maybe I just need to grieve for myself, just a little longer. Or maybe I should rejoice because all my friends can now live without my help. I can now move on, emotionally and physically, moving into another country, another culture, another arena of friendship.

Maybe maybe, I should allow myself to be, to feel whatever I feel. To grieve and be sad. To realize another chapter of my life has closed and another has come. I’m a little shaken, a little teary eyed. But I’ll be sad and happy. Happy for them, happy for me. Sad for them, sad for me. Bittersweet herbs renewing visions. I’ll move on, carrying those memories in my heart. Because once again, I’ll be surprised by the friendships God will bring forth to me. Life is just like that, looking back in reminiscence, and learning to look forward in anticipation and hope.

Wisdom’s Call

Plum Flowers

I had a spontaneous urge to go to the LA zoo, I did not find the animals as attractive as the flowers. It was a hidden gem most peoples walked by. But I did learn much about human nature and life in general. My goal is to scour LA before I am to leave, not knowing where and how long I will tread the earth.

Regarding Wisdom- note that this whole part is talking about WISDOM. When it says “I” it is talking about wisdom.

Proverbs 8: Wisdom’s Call

1 Does not wisdom call out?
Does not understanding raise her voice?
2 On the heights along the way,
where the paths meet, she takes her stand;

3 beside the gates leading into the city,
at the entrances, she cries aloud:

4 “To you, O men, I call out;
I raise my voice to all mankind.

5 You who are simple, gain prudence;
you who are foolish, gain understanding.

6 Listen, for I have worthy things to say;
I open my lips to speak what is right.

7 My mouth speaks what is true,
for my lips detest wickedness.

8 All the words of my mouth are just;
none of them is crooked or perverse.

9 To the discerning all of them are right;
they are faultless to those who have knowledge.

10 Choose my instruction instead of silver,
knowledge rather than choice gold,

11 for wisdom is more precious than rubies,
and nothing you desire can compare with her.

12 “I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence;
I possess knowledge and discretion.

13 To fear the LORD is to hate evil;
I hate pride and arrogance,
evil behavior and perverse speech.

14 Counsel and sound judgment are mine;
I have understanding and power.

15 By me kings reign
and rulers make laws that are just;

16 by me princes govern,
and all nobles who rule on earth. [a]

17 I love those who love me,
and those who seek me find me.

18 With me are riches and honor,
enduring wealth and prosperity.

19 My fruit is better than fine gold;
what I yield surpasses choice silver.

20 I walk in the way of righteousness,
along the paths of justice,

21 bestowing wealth on those who love me
and making their treasuries full.

22 “The LORD brought me forth as the first of his works, [b] , [c]
before his deeds of old;

23 I was appointed [d] from eternity,
from the beginning, before the world began.

24 When there were no oceans, I was given birth,
when there were no springs abounding with water;

25 before the mountains were settled in place,
before the hills, I was given birth,

26 before he made the earth or its fields
or any of the dust of the world.

27 I was there when he set the heavens in place,
when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep,

28 when he established the clouds above
and fixed securely the fountains of the deep,

29 when he gave the sea its boundary
so the waters would not overstep his command,
and when he marked out the foundations of the earth.

30 Then I was the craftsman at his side.
I was filled with delight day after day,
rejoicing always in his presence,

31 rejoicing in his whole world
and delighting in mankind.

32 “Now then, my sons, listen to me;
blessed are those who keep my ways.

33 Listen to my instruction and be wise;
do not ignore it.

34 Blessed is the man who listens to me,
watching daily at my doors,
waiting at my doorway.

35 For whoever finds me finds life
and receives favor from the LORD.

36 But whoever fails to find me harms himself;
all who hate me love death.”

What does it mean to wait at the doorway?

Alice In Fru Fru Land

I call Alice in Fru Fru Land because everything was so fru fru and pretty. We went to go watch the midnight show, opening night. Whoever did the costume design, I LOVE IT. But that’s pretty much it. The special effects, 3d, trippy motions, and colors made it awesome. I can’t say the plot was any good, I mean it’s just what it is. It went by really fast. I was just dazed and confused, everything was popping up out of nowhere, running around and falling down.

Freedom To Be, To Choose

Drawing that I finished. Copyright: Rebekka Lien. I have made this into cards too- for sell proceeds going to charity- to be announced.

Life Is Unexpected.

Fury, laughter, and silence.

Drops of rain cover my window pane.

I am hovering like a helicopter.

Not flying, nor landing.

Heads drooping.

Flowers rotting.

Call me from the grave

This life is short, but beautiful

searching for eternity in my heart

I have yet to experience travels of miles, lands, terrains, hills, valleys, oceans, mountains

and.

stories, people, embraces, laughter, tears

there’s much to come

The strong aren’t strong at all.

Teach me to catch today by the hands.

For I am just another unique masterpiece

writing a story of your glory with my life.

that you have given me.

I could have not existed, not even have a soul, a thought, a conscience,

a heart.

It would be like

having a mouth zipped, brains frozen, body a vegetable,

incapable, lifeless, heartless, thoughtless

BUT.

I sit.

Alive

Writing
Thinking
Drawing
Feeling

One cannot comprehend the gift that is us. To be given life, a book, a blank book we choose to write any story we want.
To be given life, a blank canvas we choose to create any image we want.
To be given life, a song, a melody we choose to write, conduct, and compose.

What is it ? I hear.

We have. We have freedom to choose. What will you choose to create out of your life, what story will it be? What melody?

I hope it will be beautiful.

Make it beautiful, choose to be.

Be BEYOND uncontrollable circumstances

Be the person you TRULY DESIRE to be.