Emotionally Vulnerability Goes Both Ways!

I am honestly happy today. I was feeling really down but God really cheered me up.

I met with someone and told them how I actually felt. He was talking about going to Japan, etc and I heard God say “speak up”, so I did.

I said “Honestly I FEEL really emotionally disconnected because I’m tired of dating and I’m tired of putting myself out there, I just want to get married and I don’t really understand this process. I guess it’s like if someone has a fear of abandonment that just needs to keep happening until I get over it”.

But something in my honesty, I started to feel happy. My soul felt happy.

I wasn’t pretending, I was being clear, vulnerable.

Someone commented on my instagram post- “well, I believe men in LA are trash”.

I want to submit to this women-

Have you ever spent time with a men and really gotten to know them?

Have you told them how YOU felt?

That you felt hurt by something they’ve said.

I realized that I was not at all emotionally vulnerable in my twenties. I pretended to be okay with a man’s actions just to clear far away from confrontation.

Today I said “honestly, I was really grossed out when you took off your dentures, I mean your Invisalign”. Females also don’t communicate honestly and it takes time to learn how to do that.

You cannot expect a men to know what they’re doing wrong if you don’t tell them. So I see this men-hating going on, women secretly gossiping about men but not confronting them.

How is that even a mature thing to do?

Females, if you want to find a good men, start being honest about how you feel towards “these bad men”, maybe you will open up communication that you didn’t know needed to happen. Grace and forgiveness comes from communication, not avoidance.

This ghosting culture is very toxic. I’ve learned to confront the hard things. I will not allow my pride to get in the way of communication, though I’ve been there too. I’m definitely not perfect.

Ladies-

IF you like a guy, tell him.

If you appreciate him, tell him.

If you think he’s cute, tell him.

We expect men to make all the first move, but what if you’re brave enough to say WHAT’S ON YOUR HEART.

Guess what, your HEART LOVES BEING HONEST!!! I feel amazing today because I was honest about the smallest thing, I did not hold back on ONE thing and it felt amazing.

I’ve always been someone who is quite aggressive but for awhile I didn’t allow myself to say what I felt because I didn’t want to look desperate or thirsty. I realized that I never got what I wanted before because I was too afraid to look stupid in front of others.

Now I realize the only way to live is to be honest and to go after what your heart wants. Do you tell people how you actually feel? I encourage you to do so! It’s so liberating!

SOW-

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Let Love In- It Takes A Village To Raise A Kid

I realize today that I don’t need to own anyone, or belong to anyone. That I just need to love and receive the love that comes to me at any given moment. I can choose to keep my heart open or I can shut down.

Today I choose to open my heart to love, and my heart may fear but I’ll say yes again and again even if I’m afraid to get hurt.

I can choose to love the people God leads me to and it may not make sense, but I can embrace them and tell them that I love them and actually never see them again. It sounds strange, but it’s true.

Some people come for a season, some for a day, some for a few hours and you can allow them to go because their path is different than yours. Maybe they need to learn how to say no, maybe they need to learn to say yes when love comes.

Some people need to learn how to set boundaries and some need to learn how to speak up.

Everyone has a different journey and a different season.

When my ex best friend stopped talking to me I felt like it was my fault. A few months later she told me she was pregnant. I realized that I kept trying to help her break away from guys that were not good for her. But those were her demons, not mine. I needed to let her go so that she could learn to speak up to her giants. We were becoming codependent because I was carrying a load that was not mine to carry.

Today I got to meet with someone and I said “it’s not your fault”. I felt this recognition in his eyes. He said “I say that to myself everyday”.

Do you blame yourself for your breakup? Yes. He said.

I said “it’s not your fault”.

I was speaking to myself. I blamed myself for so many things, as a child of divorce. I blamed myself for everyone’s mood, behavior. I thought it was all my fault. It was a lot to carry.

“Dad doesn’t talk to me because I’m hard to deal with”.

“People ghost because I’m too much”

Whatever the excuse I made for others, but it was never their fault. And I realized that I needed to set myself free from carrying other peoples’ sins.

It is a father’s responsibility to take care of his kids and he did not. So no it’s not my fault. The gravity of his sin destroyed peoples’ lives, but God is a God of redemption.

And God took care of me. God used many males to fill the role of my father. God used drivers to speak to me, passerby’s, whoever He could. He used female drivers to talk to me the way I would want a mother to talk to me, they spoke life into me even though my mom could not. God used hundreds and thousands of people to minister to my Spirit as I ministered to theirs.

Love doesn’t need to come from your parents alone. It’s too much responsibility on two people. God uses a whole village, even the world to raise a kid. I traveled the world and met “home”. I went home to people who embraced me for who I am.

It’s not your responsibility to take care of anyone, God uses a whole world………and so release those people who need to find courage within themselves and God to step out and speak to people other than you.

SOW-

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God Wants To Break Down Your Walls

Enjoy my memes 🙂 

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Prophetic Word- Live In Freedom, Don’t Be Afraid To Fail

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God, today I pray to cast out any false responsibility for others, help us to focus on the purpose and goals you have set before us. I break off false responsibility and accusations!

YOU ARE FREE IN Christ Jesus. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

God we forgive those who have wronged us and we confront them, tell them how we feel, but then we release and move on. Prepare EVERYONE who you’ve promised their spouse is coming. Protect them from the schemes of the enemy in Jesus name!

Dating Tips-BE HONEST!

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Healing The Father/Mother Wound

I hope that you’d be able to learn something from this video. I love you all! God bless.

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How To Break Off Depression – Healing The Father Wound

I pray this video will reach the people who needs to see it.

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Breakthrough Season- Overcoming The Fear Of Confrontation

God has delivered me from fear! SO MUCH FEAR. Fear of confrontation. Fear of everything. To the point that I am not afraid to talk to strangers and I’m not afraid to tell someone if they hurt me. 

I’ve been breaking through so much. I’ve confronted every hurt in my heart, even approaching people that hurt me from 10 years ago. When I’ve told people how I felt, of course some response is like you’re too sensitive. 

But when I confronted 3 Argentinians who mockingly said “china” to me, I started crying and told them I was hurt, they apologized and started opening up to me about their hurts. Yesterday I confronted my friend’s mom about feeling judged. It was a family gathering and I asked to speak to her privately. We had a long talk. She admitted that she felt like I dressed provocatively. She said that she only cared about me. I think it’s hard to believe that someone cares about me because I always saw care as a form of control. 

How I follow the Spirit. I was on the plane and noticed a girl with a cute outfit so I commented on it and asked if I could sit next to her. Who knew the conversation would lead to crying and hugs. It was very healing and it turned out we had a lot in common, including having faith in God. 

On the way to Mexico I heard the Lord say “talk to the girl” and she was also Christian. We talked a lot about relationships and the pressures that our parents give us. I told her she is enough in Christ Jesus.

I was waiting in line at the airport and I started talking to the guy in back of me. It turned out he grew up Catholic and does film. 

I heard “go across the street” and saw 2 Germans that do body training! 

I felt the Lord tell me to go to a specific airbnb and when I got there and went out, I heard go back to the room. There I met 3 argentinians and one of them was an actor.

I was really impressed by his work and asked for his autograph. He said he also grew up Catholic. One of his friends kind of made a joke about me being Chinese and the girl made me feel like I was outcasted. The Lord told me to tell them how I felt.

I walked over and said that I felt hurt by the way they were treating me. I was scared but I did it. They apologized, I had tears streaming down my face. I cried in front of 3 strangers who then welcomed me and started opening up to me. One of them said he had a daughter in Argentina and also grew up Christian. One of them said when they first went to Mexico they felt really alone and would get drunk and cry.

I realized that vulnerability helps others to open up and it’s powerful.

More divine appointments. 

I was on the bus and the Lord told me to talk to someone. However there was a kid next to the man. I asked the father if I could switch seats with the son and he said “no” 2 times. God suddenly made a way by having the girl in front of me move to her right so I asked to sit next to her. Well, we ended up talking a lot.

Suddenly the mother and son switched seats and I google translated “God told me to sit here, can I switch seats with you?” and she said okay. The guy I ended up sitting next to had been Christian for one year and had been traveling for a year but did not talk to his parents for 3 months at beginning of his trip since his parents disapproved of it. The Lord said to me “ask him to go home”. I told him but he said he didn’t want to. I shared with him my testimony and story.

I need your HELP to continue reaching lost sheep. Would you consider sowing into the ministry of breaking off fear and bringing people into community, into God’s grace and love? Thank you for your prayers and support.

I am also looking for monthly supporters, right now I don’t have any!

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You Deserve The Best

I had a dream I wa in a room and I wanted to go out but someone was grabbing someone’s shoulder and I tried to close the door.

The strange thing is that it kind of happened. I was hanging out with someone and he told me he was in a season of his life where he wanted to “have fun” and I told him that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. He said he waited 30 years for God to bring him someone but God didn’t, so he went his own path. God never judges but do you trust God for the right person.

I closed the door, because strangely he tried to massage my shoulder and suddenly I heard “unclean spirit” so I prayed to cast it out. I essentially closed the door because I could sense something unclean.

The truth is many Christians stop believing God because God takes a long time….or it seems.

But it occurred to me….maybe God is waiting for you to make up your mind.

Do you believe that you ARE worthy to have what you want?

IF you truly believe, you’ll start to stand up in your spirit and say “NO MORE”.

“NO MORE” false attention. I talked to my friend and he said he often went to being promiscuous as a sense of false self worth.

I realized that when you give into your flesh, you’re also craving that sense of “acceptance and love” that you think that moment gives you, but the truth is “LOVE” does not abandon. Love perseveres.

When we keep saying yes to the wrong thing, there is no room for the right thing.

Am I REALLY ready for the right one?

Are you ready?

That you are willing to stop receiving attention from the wrong man, so the right one can come?

Dating can be confusing but one thing it’s taught me is –

“BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS, TELL THE TRUTH”.

And when you tell the truth and no longer allow “false responsibility” to reign over your life, you’ll do things out of desire, not obligation.

What is your HEART’S DESIRE?

Follow that. If you want to get married, start dating. Invest time into communicating to men. Be open.

He/She is coming. God told me to tell you.

Say this out loud –

“I BELIEVE THAT GOD HAS THE ONE FOR ME. He/SHE is out there. I believe that I deserve to be loved. I don’t need to settle because my husband/wife is out there in Jesus name!”

Don’t give up.

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Getting Out of Toxic Relationships

Trauma Bonding and Getting Out Of Toxic Relationships

I was in a 2.5 year relationship and didn’t speak up for myself and what I needed. I lost myself. And it took years to find myself again! I am here to help women get out of toxic relationships, speak up for themselves and learn not to “give sex” right away to protect themselves from men who just want sex. The dating journey is about learning to heal from and communicate your needs in a relationship.

I’ve learn not to commit myself to someone just because I like them but to let go when you know immediately that it’s not your husband. How do you know if it’s your husband? Does he believe in God like you do? Do you have the same beliefs about life, morality? What are non- negotiable for you? Give to this ministry- Thank you! God bless! For coaching – dm me.

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