How To Overcome Fear

Some mornings, many mornings I wake up afraid.

Not with anxiety, but I’m afraid to put myself out there. I’m afraid because the previous day I encountered an awkward situation. Some days I encounter people who are difficult, some days I’m afraid of rejection.

That fear is a spirit coming against me to put me in a corner.

Me- I didn’t get enough sleep! I slept 6 hours.

God- It’s more than enough.

Sometimes I feel like I need more encouragement, more approval, more money, more sleep, more this or more that….and it prevents me from going forward.

But then God will tell me to get out of bed- He’ll say “you are enough”.

How many of you linger in bed or at home, afraid to go out? Because you feel like you are not enough? And so even though you are lonely and want to make friends, you’d rather stay in bed? Even though you want to get married, you don’t want to ask anyone out?

You want to have a family, a tribe of friends that understand, but you’re petrified of rejection.

You do ministry and have to fundraise, but you’re scared of rejection or judgement so you’d rather not ask. And you struggle on your own.

Sure it is easier to stay in your bed but do you know that you are submitting to fear? The enemy wants you to live in fear. He doesn’t want you to have friends. He doesn’t want you step into your promises, He doesn’t want you to meet your husband/wife because if you don’t put yourself out there, you will never meet your husband/wife. 

God wants you to live in freedom.

He says YOU ARE FREE!

You are free to run, fail, make mistakes, cry, even experience trauma, heal and get up again.

GET UP! RISE!

IT is not ABOUT being perfect, it’s about living in freedom and knowing God will always embrace you in His arms, never judge you or reject you. You are always right in His eyes.

Some of you have also been submitting to uncomfortable situations because you’re afraid to speak your truth. Instead of living in freedom, you’d rather submit to peoples’ expectations of who you should be….today make a choice to speak your truth loud and clear.

Sow a seed, thank you for your partnership in setting people free! 

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Testimony From A Brother In Christ

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A couple of nights ago, I was in the negative in my bank account and the Lord told me to go dancing. That night I met a director, a model, and an actor, a guy from Bangledash and some other people. When I was about to walk out of the car I saw someone had sown into my ministry. I felt God’s assurance that He was providing and His hand was on me.
I decided to ask him what his story was as I usually do ask, I want to get to know my family. Here’s his story. 
Haha well my “story” is far too long and would take up multiple books to tell it all but I will tell you a little.
So I saw your video posts on facebook almost a year ago as you were part of one of the groups I am in on facebook.  I followed you just a little bit but not much as I follow other ministries as well and I don’t care a whole lot for social media  (trying to change that as media presence is important today of course).
However I had many financial issues months ago and am still recovering after yet another attack from certain occult members and witchcraft against my finances.  So I was without internet for awhile and other things so I lost touch with your ministry.  Last month I started a new job building welding equipment and it was the position I had prayed for.
I have tithed for years now but never gave first fruits and despite how bad my situation was I did not care- this time I was giving my first fruits.  I prayed and made a list for almost 2 weeks and asked the Lord which ministries and how much to give.  At first you were not on my list.

Then Friday your name and face popped back into my mind.  It has been hard to hear the Lord at times lately but  perceived that he was saying that you were in need.  I took my old laptop to McDonalds and was giving to other ministries and I checked back up on you on facebook and saw one of your recent posts of being in need so I looked up your website- now knowing of course that my discernment was correct – and gave  a scriptural giving first (the 6:20 from Matthew 6:20.) however I knew that was not enough of course so moments later I gave again.

As for me- I am Roger Raymond Ballog.  Some call be Gypsy which people started calling me years ago because I am a Roma Gypsy and I am a lead guitarist and singer and composer of Christian Rock music so I just went with that name for years but now I prefer Roger B haha.
I live in Clarksdale MS – you may have heard of it it is the place with that infamous cross roads where many famous musicians have gone to sell their soul and I am totally against it of course and the demonically charged music in this area which is mostly blues.  I been saved awhile.
I am the first Holy Ghost filled and saved person in my family and am very persecuted because of it.  My family hold to false religious stuff and superstition.  Most are Catholic and also practice witchcraft of fortune telling or some form of paganism and think that is ok to put next to God.
I wanted no part after the Holy Spirit started leading me.  But as you would guess I did not come up believing.  The Lord tried to talk to me when I was a kid- but so were many other spirits.  Later when I was in my early 20s (I am now 32 going on 33)  I met a man just a little older than me and he was the first Holy Ghost filled person I ever met. He was differant.  When he spoke to me he told me about the Lord and dared me to go to church so I did.  But not because of the dare actually.  See as he was speaking the Holy Spirit was downloading into me and telling me that Jesus was the source of my needs and desires and the answer to my problems. 
So I went to church at local 1st Assembly of God where my new friend in Christ James went.  I did not own a car so I walked in cold, snow, rain I did not care.  I mostly wore black and leather and had long hair in those days so I know i looked wierd to these churchy religious people.  At that time I did not know God’s ways but I wanted to know him.  So I went.  James discipled me a little and then we just kinda lost touch.  The Lord started leading me differently tho and I started to change.  I did not at first agree with the bible.  It offended me and I did not believe it so I threw it at the wall and swore it.  But I kept seeking Jesus and prayed heavily seeking to hear from God.
He started to come and speak to me very clearly and he would tell me things and when I would look them up on a computer –  I would find it was a bible verse!!  Many verses in the bible he told me before I found them or even knew it was a bible verse.  So I put aside my offense and started reading it.  Then I was led to another church- 1st United Pentecostal.
A very old timey church but full of sweet people who knew the Lord.  I knew I had to get baptized and receive Christ.  So I did there and went there for years.  After sometime I felt I had received the spirit but could not speak in tongues or something was holding me back from fully receiving the spirit.
Years later I found out why-  witchcraft and occult crap as well as spirits hindering me like the spirit of rejection.  So I later got deliverance and spoke in tongues and received the spirit.  I have seen Jesus do many outlandish miracles in my life that shock people.  I myself walk in miracles at times and it is cool.
I love praying for others and seeing them get healed or set free from demonic  oppression or supernaturally fixing things through the power of spoken word.  At the moment I am trying to get my life back together and finish my first EP.  I am also taking ministry classes amongst other things.  I am an odd guy.  I am very different from others.  I don’t seem to really fit in any crowd really.  I am especially growing tired of religion and churchiness at the moment. 
I want to see great spiritual movements of God and people being blessed, healed and delivered and set free.  I see life as a musically- literally.  I want the whole world singing and dancing in the streets and losing their mind praising God. Even singing as they work instead of complaining or being negative.  Ok I will shut up now haha.
Thank you Roger for obeying Jesus when He put me on your mind.
This was another confirmation that the Lord is continuing to bring lost sheep to me, those who are a bit different, spirit led, creative folks.
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Thank you for the testimony Roger!

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“All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they shared with anyone who was in need. Acts 2:44”

 

 

God Loves To Trigger Me

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I woke up with a stuffy nose. I had all these ideas in my head.

My mother prepared breakfast, I wondered why she was so nice, was it because I was sick?

When she left I immediately burst out crying.

Yesterday God prepared a trigger for me. Thanks God. I hate you sometimes. Just being honest.

I met these two women who both had kids. One woman had a God tattoo and she was telling me how she needed alone time at the korean spa, “me time”. I’m thinking well how is being with a friend alone time, but anyhow, she said “sometimes I tell my kids, ‘are you going to throw me in an old people home because you never care for me!?'”

Immediately I said “my mom says things like that all the time, things like ‘wait until I die, you’ll appreciate me then’, you should not use guilt to make someone love you. Otherwise they will run away”. 

I suddenly got angry and I didn’t want to look at her anymore. I felt like she was the enemy.

I sat down to eat and saw them a few tables away.

God told me “go eat with them”.

I said “no God”.

He proceeded to annoy me, which He often does, what a kind God He is.

Finally I felt so annoyed and I knew it was fear in my heart, I asked if I could join them.

I bluntly said “God told me to tell you how I felt”.

So with a slightly awkward start I said…

“I felt triggered when you said that thing about your kids. My mom always says things like that and I get really angry because it is a guilt trip”. 

They agreed, they listened. But then I learned that her mother died 4 years ago. She said that it taught her to appreciate her mom more. She wished she was nicer to her.

Well, then they tried to guilt trip me. I’m sure it was not their intention but I’m sure they felt condemned too, I mean the whole “I wasn’t a good daughter while my mom was alive” is also condemnation, because we are righteous by the blood of Jesus, not by our works.

Hey I know I’m not perfect, but I got angry when they asked me “so if your mother died tomorrow would you feel like you’ve done enough for her?”

Seriously?

Yes. I would. I obeyed God and moved in with her when I didn’t want to. Yes, I’ve done enough to reconcile with her. Sure, this was bringing up a lot of anger towards the words my mother used to guilt trip me, and sure I needed to forgive her for that, but I was not to feel condemned over “not doing enough” because I know that’s not from God.

And even if you never did enough for your mother, you are still righteous in God’s eyes.

You have been made whole by HIS SACRIFICE, not yours.

But I knew I had to go confront my mother about it. When I finally went home I told her how it made me angry when she used death to guilt trip me. I told her she needed to stop cursing herself or threatening me.

Fine, stop talking about it- my mom said.

This morning she was all nice to me.

I think she felt guilty about it.

Well, at least I finally confronted this. For 31 years of my life, I never told her that it bothered me.

What do you have to confront in your life?

I had a dream I told my ex friend-

“Come here, let me tell you why I blocked you.”

I unfriended her because she gossiped too much and ruined my friendship with my best friend.

I had another dream of a withered tree and squishies started growing on them and there was a free rack of books, papers and workbooks. I was amazed.

When I tried to sleep again I saw myself floating in an ocean in Hawaii. That was the only way I could find relief, and then tears. I told my friend I wanted to take her to Hawaii, but this is what we long for, rest. 

man-in-black-shorts-in-water-3544412The tears may come, let them come.

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Let the water of grace wash you clean, your heart from the bitterness and anger of yesterday. photo-of-coconut-tree-on-seashore-1576955Let’s go to Hawaii (in the Spirit) where His grace is sufficient. abstract-adventure-bright-canvas-2397652Let it all wash away.

Let it all wash away.

It’s okay now, I forgive you, I forgive myself. Even though I wasn’t understood by those women, I was heard. And that is all that matters. I told them how they reminded me of every pastor or leader who talked down to me, who tried to tell me who to be and what to do, but did not trust that God was speaking to me. They wanted to control me, not guide me.

I felt the heat and the anger…

But through crying, tears, let it all wash away.

“You don’t have to be understood, but you do deserve to be heard”- God.

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Prayer To Break Off The Spirit of Fear and Lack

Matthew 18:18-19 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be a bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[b] loosed in heaven. “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.

Here are the biggest attacks of the enemy-

  1. Guilt and Condemnation (through accusation)- to make you feel like you are not enough or you are not doing enough
  2. Fear and Lack

How do I combat it?

  1. I hear God usually tell me- “you are enough, you are not lacking” and I recite this “I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus”

  2. Resting and ceasing all striving, sometimes when we feel condemned, we run away from those emotions and try to busy ourselves, but we start to feel stressed.
  3. Flowing with God and talking to people, I find that as a verbal person talking to my friend helps me to clarify why I feel a certain way. For example, I won’t even realize something annoyed or ticked me off, but if you look back on the day, there is often ONE OR TWO events or words that people said that knocked you down, that made you feel less than. The enemy wants to isolate us so we feel like we are alone, but in actuality, there  are many people going through the same thing at the same time. That is why I release prophetic words and videos because the enemy has a strategy against people at the same time. 
  1. Reading the word and praying/decreeing the truth to lift off the fog of confusion, anxiety, fear that is trying to come against me.

HEY FOLKS! My birthday is coming up! It is February 11. I am hoping to get a new phone soon since I’ve been using a big tablet as a phone.

If you like to make a donation to the ministry please click links below. I appreciate your love and support.

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It’s Grace alone that saved us, not through our works, but through the BLOOD of Jesus.

 

 

Prophetic Word – Think Outside The Box

Prophetic Word-

Think Outside the Box
Don’t Dismiss Something Because You’ve Had A Previous Bad Experience
Flow With The Spirit

I see some of you inside a really small box and you feel cramped.

You have to break the box to get out.

There are people telling you that you have to be a certain way, to do a certain thing, but God is breaking off that communist mindset of conformity.

You’re Not A Slave

You’re A Creator

You’re Fantastical

You’re Brilliant

You Don’t Have To Follow The Rules

Break The Mold

Build Your Own Empire

Be Who God Created You To Be

Follow Your Heart

Give a gift to this ministry or for my birthday, thank you! God bless you.

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Destroying The Pressure To Perform

Things you should know about me: 

  1.  I love to go to the Abbey, it is a gay club, and I have many friends there. I’ve had a lot of Christians ask me why I would go to a gay club. The reasons are: I love the people there, I love the people there, I love dancing, I love dancing, and I love dancing with the people I love. I love music. I love fashion. 
  2. I have smoked weed before but I do not smoke it anymore. I had a bad experience eating a weed cake in Amsterdam.
  3. I have a heart for the LGBT community because I understand the pain of being rejected.
  4. I have stopped pretending and stopped being “polite” because I say what’s on my mind most of the time now. I’m not going to pretend to be nice or kind when I’m mad now. I will be mad. I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not anymore. SO ADIOS TO THE OLD ME! 
  5. My birthday is February 11 – financial gifts and donations are welcome! (I need a new phone)

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

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Even If You Are Heart Broken, You Are Whole.

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How about ‘Open Your Heart- Come Out of Hiding’ as a 2020 resolution

Tell someone how you actually feel
Tell them they hurt you
Tell them you love or like them (even if they don’t reciprocate or don’t feel the same way)
Tell them what your heart was too scared to tell them

God will bring people to trigger you. You may want to be in the comfort of a womb, to be in control, protected…but often times we are protecting our hearts from love because we have been wounded.
It may feel annoying, you may not feel like talking to anyone, you may be wondering why a stranger is talking to you, you may start to feel anxious because you are holding the anger in, you may want to stay asleep and someone wakes you up with noise, you may wonder why someone is attacking you verbally, you may want to crawl in a hole….

But this is all good for you…

I don’t want you to be alone,
I wan’t you to be loved.

Leave me alone you may say,
But I will never leave you alone.

I feel utterly out of control but learning to let go of control and let love in. To respond authentically, not how I should, but how I really feel.

Love is scary.

You may tell someone how you feel and they may reject or judge you, they may lash out because they’re hurt. 

In the last few months I have been telling people how I feel. Sometimes people yell, sometimes they’re hurt, sometimes they respond well.

I never know what to expect. I’ve been severely hurt and wounded. But I’m learning to speak my truth.

I’ve told people that I loved them, that I liked them, and it was not reciprocated.

People have told me they want to have a relationship with me, and I’ve told them I don’t see a future.

I told my mother that it hurt that she told me to stop crying instead of comforting me when I broke up with my boyfriend at the age of 15.

I thought it was wrong to be sad. But I’ve learned sadness is part of life, we need to embrace each emotion, not skip it or say next.

Love is not love if you are only accepted at your best emotion, Love is love when you’re allowed to be yourself at each moment- emotional, sad, angry, bitter.

God accepts us whatever state we are in.

Even then we are enough.

You are whole. You are not lacking. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. You are righteous. Even if you are heart broken, you are not lacking, you didn’t lose a piece of your heart to someone, you are intact.

Remember that vision church teachers gave you? When you’re in love a part of you sticks onto that person, well the truth is grace means you are whole however broken your heart feels. You didn’t lose yourself, though it may feel like it. 

You are still whole,

you are still enough

because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

You didn’t waste time, you didn’t lose yourself, you are still whole. You didn’t do anything wrong. You are on the right path, don’t live in regret, forgive yourself.

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Here’s a fun shirt I saw at the mall, it made me laugh.

I love you all.

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