Recently I have been on a journey of becoming more free.

“You don’t have to do anything”.

I have been hearing this from God. I had an epiphany. If what I do isn’t purely from desire, then what is it? Guilt? Obligation? Tradition?

And I know people will probably oppose and say there needs to be compromise in love. I don’t know anything about marriage, I’m just talking about my relationship with God. 

It really intrigues me that people often think that if you don’t go to church, you have a disconnected relationship with God. I have learned better than to argue. Even though it still bothers me, I will state my case and move on. It’s weird how I have met tons of people that religiously attend church but never have one conversation with God. But they think they are somehow better off than those heathens who have taken a hiatus from a building that is deemed clean and holy. 

“You don’t have to do anything”. 

Love is only possible if there is freedom to choose. 

“You don’t have to do anything because you are already loved and accepted by me, as you are now. You are perfect in my eyes”. 

And then it struck me, I am free. I am free. I am free. I am free to do and be who I am. 

A lot of people who grow up in authoritarian cultures, religions and institutions are taught to ask for advice, to seek counsel, to never TRUST yourself.

Wayne Dyer said ” I’ve often said, ‘When you trust in yourself, you are trusting in the wisdom that created you.’

If we are propelled forward by total acceptance and love, then we no longer live in fear. We are no longer afraid of making mistakes. We will no longer fear that we will be rejected by peers or co-workers, or friends. We will try without fearing failure. 

I suppose it could relate to relationships and friendships too.

Would you want a friend to tell you “oh I didn’t really feel like calling you, but I did. I have so much to do and I’m so busy so I’m really taking time out to listen to you”.

It’s like “no thanks”. I would rather someone do things out of desire. 

Love as desire, Love is desire.

Sometimes you might feel hesitant to hang out with certain people, perhaps because they have changed or you have…it might be because you no longer enjoy their company and its okay to say no lovingly. I’ve realized that your friends are basically mirrors of who you are in any current season in life. So whoever you hang out more with in that season has a reflection of what your needs and wants are….and those priorities may change. Those friends may also reflect the wounds you are currently healing. In a way they might be healing from the same things. 

That’s why in some seasons you are closer to some than others. Every person has a purpose in your life, in this healing journey called life and love. 

Sometimes I have events that come up and I have to ask myself “do I really feel like attending and being AROUND people right now?” 

I’ll hear myself and my heart say “no”. And that’s basically how I have learned to listen to my heart. And sometimes it’ll say yes. And sometimes I don’t know how I feel and maybe I’ll try it because I’m a free woman…and then maybe I’ll want to go home and watch netflix and that’s cool too. 

But this is part of learning to live the life you want, the life you love. 

It’s living in love, desire and not obligation…because the more you follow our bliss, the more alive you will feel, the better you will feel.

When you feel good, you are in love with yourself. And that’s a good thing. When you are in love, lovely things are attracted to you and loving things come to you. 

Instead of obligation- desire, excitement, bliss.

Instead of fear- love, freedom, light.