True Freedom

I had a dream I killed a rat.

The Lord told me to write this.

“These things are being taken figuratively: The women represent two covenants. One covenant is from Mount Sinai and bears children who are to be slaves: This is Hagar. Now Hagar stands for Mount Sinai in Arabia and corresponds to the present city of Jerusalem, because she is in slavery with her children. But the Jerusalem that is above is free, and she is our mother. For it is written:

“Be glad, barren woman,
    you who never bore a child;
shout for joy and cry aloud,
    you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
    than of her who has a husband.

Now you, brothers and sisters, like Isaac, are children of promise. At that time the son born according to the flesh persecuted the son born by the power of the Spirit.It is the same now.  But what does Scripture say? “Get rid of the slave woman and her son, for the slave woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with the free woman’s son.” Therefore, brothers and sisters, we are not children of the slave woman, but of the free woman”

He said to me “write about freedom”. Recently I had a friend come to me and say that I don’t need to tell her prophetic words so often, that she wants to live in freedom.

It made me think about how I went through my own “freedom” of being promiscuous, needing alcohol, being broken.

When I started to prophesy over myself and allow others to do so – and then I believed what God said- I started to step into the freedom God had for me.

When Jesus said “sell everything and follow me” – it was a prophetic word.

A prophetic word is something that hasn’t happen on the earth but is already true in the spirit.

I could have said no but I trusted God. All my own ways of living only led to more pain, hangovers and regrets.

All my own strivings and attempts to find my life partner was resulting in degrading myself.

That is why yesterday God said it’s time to come out. And I posted the following.

To my surprise, all the comments were positive and a few women have started to message me about their secret of waiting or perhaps not waiting anymore.

I realized that was a part of my story that I still felt ashamed to tell because I was shamed for waiting. People told me I need to have experience to know who my husband is. People said “your standards are too high, you should just settle”.

But when your mother is Sarah (grace), you live in the covenant of relationship with God bought by the blood of Jesus. So what you believe God for, a prophetic word or promise- it will come to pass if you walk in it. In this case, for me it means trusting God and waiting for the right man instead of jumping on every guy that looks like Mr. Handsome.

When your mother is Hagar (the law and your own striving), you try to attain your promises by your own flesh. This means that you will try everything else but trusting God and being led by His spirit.

A lot of times I prophesy over people and it’s not what they want to hear.

Perhaps it’s a guy they are seeing, or a job.

And I think to myself “why do they need so many reminders?”

But me myself? It did take God awhile to get to me too. Like I said after I broke up with my ex in 2014 I went on a dating spree and only after meeting many men who only wanted to sleep with me, did I come to my end and said “God I give up, you do it”. These men only wanted an instant gratification, they did not desire to love me.

But somehow I still trusted God enough to say “God I’m going to wait for my husband to have sex”. Because I believe God for the right man.

And that’s Sarah and Abraham waiting for God’s promises. At one point when they were a hundred or so, they inherited a promise of Isaac which God supernaturally gave them.

When we strive to make things happen on our way, without God we step into slavery. Hagar’s child was a slave. Whatever we attain by the law, we become a slave to. Hagar and her son never shares in the inheritance of the free women.

Proverbs 10:22

The blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it.

What God has shown me is true freedom means being free from shame, guilt, condemnation, fear.

So a prophetic word is always to bring you further into the freedom Jesus paid for you on the cross to have.

Yesterday I prophesied to a man that he is enough and he needs to go ask his estranged parents for help. He said he has spent a lot of time trying to find peace in his soul and I said “no you just need to do it even if they accuse you”.

God has told me to do things that I was not excited to do.

I sold everything to follow Him. I returned a leased car before the lease term was over. I knew my credit would go down but I needed to live for His kingdom and not my kingdom any longer. This means that I needed to be car- less and not live to pay for a car which did not give me the opportunity to minister to people on the streets or buses. I needed to trust that God would provide what I needed even if I didn’t have excellent credit.

And true to what He has told me, I haven’t needed a good credit at all. In fact, God has provided what I’ve needed without credit.

God told me to move back home. In actuality I was at my friend’s house and God said at 3pm you’ll know where you will stay. My mom has already offered to let me stay at her house. I started crying. Hell no I don’t want to move back home. But He understood so He didn’t make it explicit. He used this tactic so I had no other choice but to move home.

During the two years I stayed with my mom I reconciled with her. God knew that needed to happen for me to come into my blessings as well. I had never gotten allowance from my mother as I worked since I was 8 years old. It was the first time she gave me money.

I learned what grace and being a child of God actually meant in that time of rest! It’s not something I work for but something I receive just because I am God’s child.

God told me to break up with my ex. I needed a few confirmations and I got them. God knew I wouldn’t listen to one friend, but it was strangers I talked to that made me realize he wasn’t the one.

Yes we are stubborn people.

That stubbornness comes from us not trusting God. But when we come to the end of ourselves we start to see God’s intention for us is to be whole and healed.

Our brokenness prevents us from living the life God called us to.

So when I prophesy, you may not want to listen but it’s not me – it’s God saying “you deserve so much more than what you’ve settled for”.

Freedom is not continuing in a mediocre life or philandering with whoever we want, because it led me to more pain and tears. Freedom is being a child of God, knowing you are not an orphan and you have a father who guides and takes care of you.

The sheep knows her shepherd’s voice.

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God Wants To Meet You In The Unknown

black-and-white-dark-destination-258510

I’ve been battling a cold recently.

I had a dream last night where I couldn’t figure out what train to get on, whether to Azusa or Disneyland. I took the train the wrong way, I got off, then took the train the right way, and then got off to take another train. Then I just decided to go use the restroom which was in between both trains. A door opened up for me to go number one.

In another dream, I was trying to choose the right cup to drink water from because I was parched. But I didn’t like any of the cups. Some were too big and some were dirty. Then I was lying on the beach and I had no sunscreen on and my eye was parched.

When I woke up I felt like God wanted to meet me in the unknown.

The waiting and transition season often feels like a drag. It feels uncertain, unstable…you often can’t answer peoples’ questions like “what have you been up to?”

Your reply might be “just resting”.

But it’s not just resting, it’s meeting God in the unknown. 

The transition period often calls for us to be still and know that God is God. 

He wants to remind us of His character – that He is good, that He loves us, that He knows what He is doing, that He sometimes puts us in a season of rest so that we understand His character.

And that is why Resting is so hard for people of this world. RESTING means letting go and trusting that everything will work out. 

That is why most people cannot rest if they have dire circumstances in life, but we know that Jesus is working on our behalf (we live from a place of victory) and so even in dire circumstances our hearts can rest in a God who knows what HE is doing, who is trust worthy and who never LEAVES nor forsakes us. 

So it’s not really just about God answering your prayers or delivering a miracle….it’s manifesting all those things HE wants to give us from a place of knowing how much He loves us and cares for us. He wants us to live out of our God given identities.

He wants to bless us as fathers bless their children, from a pure heart of love.

Whenever I try to figure out or ask God “what should I do?” I now know that I want to DO without knowing who He is or who I am.

When we are trying to figure out what’s next, it is often because “in the waiting” we have become impatient and doubt creeps in. This doubt asks us “does God knows what He is doing? Is He a good God? Should I try to handle this situation now since it doesn’t seem like God is doing anything?”

In the transition period, God desires for us to KNOW His character and heart in a deeper and stronger way.  He wants us to know WHO He really is in every circumstance. He wants us to mature in our understanding of our position in Christ.

So many people want to have His material blessings without becoming people who walk with Him as friends. The true blessing is becoming a people who carry His presence and become blessings on this earth because of their intimacy with Jesus. 

God desires for us to KNOW who we are– people with spiritual inheritance and authority. A people who have a Father who loves them.

God desires for us to KNOW who HE is– A God who loves us unconditionally and HAS PLANS to prosper us and not to harm us.

The unknown season forces us to get to know WHO we are in Christ and WHO He is for US.

So don’t feel burdened or rushed to get to the next season, there are treasures of intimacy in the unknown and waiting season. Feed your soul and spirit with the love of God. Indulge in the love God has for you. Rest in knowing that His grace is enough for you.

“I need you to understand who you are and who I am for you before I open the doors to the next season. Not knowing who you are could cause you to open doors to people and opportunities that will hurt you more than help you. I need you to walk in the Christ given authority you were meant to walk in, you inheritance causes you to walk in true spiritual power”- says the Lord.

The 3 P’s of Actualizing Your Dreams

I had a beautiful day of laying around in Laguna Beach. I suppose most people would be freaking out since I have 2 more days to look for a place to live. The juxtaposition of my life. This whole week was a roller coaster of crazy dumping, posting, donating, walking around neighborhoods, calling and lots more disappointments. The place I wanted initially got rented out. I was also quite relieved because they did not have a stove. OMG. A place without a stove! Lord have mercy, no cooking??

Everyday is a new beginning, new day.

I realize everything that I have been experiencing requires the 3 P’s.

Pain – pain. Yes, pain sucks. Pain could be a really annoying person in your life, a boring job, a difficult situation or anything that is inconvenient. Pain sucks. We all know this.

Perseverance – In order to find a place, I had to persevere, call, look on craigslist, call, visit the place, drive to a million places, call.

Patience – with ALL good things coming your way, YOU must have PATIENCE. Don’t we all HATE THIS WORD. “I WANT IT NOW!!!!” Don’t we ALL scream with our hearts, actions and words? We want that IPHONE RIGHT NOW, that IPAD, that house, that partner, that shirt, that million dollar. We want to win now! But back to perseverance, we need to persevere even when we don’t have it now.

My friends, when we reach the ends of ourselves…patience means resting and enjoying life while you are waiting for the fruits of your work and faith to grow and actualize.

So guess what I did, I took a day off from LOOKING and went to Laguna Beach. Yes, I rested and got a tan. Hells yah. I enjoyed life with my man, ate lots of chocolate and ended the night with some good encouraging prayers with my soul friend. Then guess what happened, I got an email for a lead to a place….it might be it, it might not be. Who cares, I’m going to find a place in 2 days anyway!

I’m featured on Hipswap- shop over 100 items from my house/closet as I prepare to move!

 

What Does It Take To Pursue Your Dreams?

This week I placed my one of a kind designs at The Machine Gallery in Pomona- it’s a milestone for me.

Today is a HOT HOT DAY! Probably one of the best days I’ve had, everyday just seems to get better ever since I have become grateful, thankful, appreciative at everything.

If you listen to the THE SECRET, Rhonda Byrne talks about letting “THANK YOU” be the first thoughts and words of your day. First thing in the morning, when your mind is awake, think the word “thank you for this new day”.  

When I start to think negative thoughts or start to feel tired, I think the opposite. I think, “WOW I’m so energized, I have all the energy in the world”. This has helped me to continue packing as I’m about to move into another city soon! Though I haven’t found a place yet and I’m moving in less than 2 weeks, I know the PERFECT place is already waiting for me.

SO WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO PURSUE YOUR DREAMS?

After a few meetings today, I thought about how I have come so far from 1 year ago. I never thought I could live the type of lifestyle I live today. I create my own schedule, sometimes I wake up whenever I want, I hang out with friends when the sun is out, I work hard, but where I want and when I want. Though I haven’t seen all the FRUITS of my labor, I know that today where I am- I’m starting to reap the harvest that is coming.

1. You need lots of perserverance to pursue your dreams- I can’t tell you HOW MANY times I thought about giving up. I compared myself to other people and was envious that others could do what I could not because of financial limitations. However, I did not give up.

2. You need to BELIEVE in yourself and your VISION– When your vision starts to blur and when people start putting you down for pursuing your dreams, you GOT to have determination. If what you wanted to do was not really a passion, you’ll know once the fire is turned up. You must be super positive, you must laugh easily, take life lightly, and believe in yourself and the vision!

At first I was comparing myself to others, but I realize, they got their path to walk and I got mine. There is no reason for comparison or competition, competition comes from a spirit of lack. If you know who you are, you don’t need to compare.

3. You need a STRONG support of friends who believe in you and your dreams- I had friends that counted coins with me when I was paying bills, friends who gave me advice, friends who helped promote my jewelry, friends who helped me at fairs for free, friends who listened to me when I needed to vent. Friends are your STRONGEST support. Or if you have a partner, that is great too!

4. You need BALLS to pursue your dreams- yes, ladies, we don’t have balls, but we got invisible inner strength balls. Stronger, mightier sometimes. You need lots of balls, courage, to PROMOTE yourself, promote your work, talk about it, believe in it. You need balls when the idea seems crazy, when it’s never been done.

5. You need to be IN TUNE with yourself to pursue your dreams- you must follow your heart, intuition. When you’re tired, rest. When you feel like something isn’t right, you stop, you rest, you think and you wait. Don’t rush, don’t work out of adrenaline, work out of rest always. Out of the 1 year of self-employment, I had 2 months of traveling in Australia and South America, I had probably 4-5 months of waiting (freelancing here and there), but mostly waiting and resting. It was NOT easy, not that relaxing at times, because I was anxious. Yet, I needed to learn the lessons of waiting.

I know that is contrary to what people teach, but waiting is an active verb of preparing your mind and soul, finding identity, and healing from a impoverished striving mentality. I am currently writing a book about my 1 year, I hope that my learnings will help to serve you in the pursuit of your dreams!