Love Was Not A Safe Word

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Palm springs

Okay peeps, shit is going to get real in this post. Read this if you need to clarify some relationships with family, friends, non-friends, frenemies, boyfriend, girlfriend, wives, husbands, etc. I’m not a psychologist but I have lived an intense life and have also coached people about their lives.

Growing up in a single mother Asian household, I realized something….love was not a safe word. I never felt safe because love was basically obeying your parent, doing what they say, and trusting they are right. And as you know many parents, or most or all are not perfect, so when they give you sound wisdom about how you should eat your chicken, you either obey or your question their way of eating chicken. 

Because her life seemed stressful enough, I bore the burdens of a parent, of being one. I put my own emotional needs aside to handle the stress of being home and to listen to the needs of my parent.

Consequences– I became a people pleaser and believed that I needed to help others before myself. The training of the institutional church did not help either. So I suffocated my own problems. NOW I also LOVED being alone because I found that most people wanted to control my life so I found it much easier to be alone with my own thoughts. I also felt that everyone was a smaller version of my mom so I often escaped to find my personal freedom. I was able to finally find people who would allow me to be myself, however because most people are not aware enough to dig up the reasons behind their behavior, I often have to draw a line between those relationships.

I’m glad that I did enough soul searching and reading to actually realize all this and CHANGE! Because I can’t imagine what a shitty life I’d have if I had continue being a people pleaser.

Going on vacation with my mom kind of clarified why I was the way I was…

Here are some things people use in relationships.

  1. Manipulation- “If you do this, I’ll pay more attention to you, I’ll give you more love”

“I’m providing for you, you better be grateful”

“Ten years ago, you fucked up my car…so you will pay for it by my punishing you in various ways”

Truth is if it was really unconditional love….you give love without expecting anything back, you give according to your perimeters, you don’t use it to manipulate that person’s love for you.

Consequences of long term manipulation- 

Manipulator- has no idea what BOUNDARIES mean and expect others to live their lives for him or her. He or she is a tyrant in life and is often disappointed, probably will end up with no friends because their rules are impossible to live by.

Manipulated one- has no idea what FREEDOM looks like in their personal and public life, does not know how to make choices on their own, always thinks others know better. He or she is always a victim who does not take personal responsibility for their lives….because the choice to submit to a manipulator is a choice. 

2. Control- Control is probably the creepiest one, because a lot of times we don’t see it until we get physically sick from it. 

“Go wash the dishes now, go fix my car now, call me now, where are you? Who are you with? You have to do this and this and this, if you don’t it shows you have no love for me”

“Because you didn’t DO THIS ONE THING for me, you hate me, you don’t love me”. By threatening with control, that person is able to control what you do for them.

Truth is if it was really unconditional love…..you’d give people freedom to be whoever THE FUCK they want to be and to do whatever they want to. Now if you want to suggest how you feel loved (5 love languages), then tell them, do not threaten them with by “withdrawing love”. How I experienced that in my life? My parent never ever said sorry and when we fought, this is what happened….silence for 3-4 days, yep, and not looking at me, like I was some non-person.

Consequences of control- 

  1. Controller- Needs to know what is going on all the time. If someone does not respond to their text when they want, often freaks out and then accuses the person of negligence. Often does not enjoy life, cannot enjoy life, probably doesn’t drink (joking), has fear that they are out of control.
  1. Controlled- Fear of doing wrong in private and public life. Often needs to ask for permission to do something, creatively suppressed, cannot find the courage to draw outside the lines.

Now, finding freedom from these issues can be difficult but know that God’s love is powerful enough for you to break free. Consciousness is worth having to live a free life.

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Thousand Palms

If you need a meter for which you know your personal boundaries are being crossed….

  1. If you have physical aches, usually that is a sign of discomfort, boundaries being crossed.
  2. Discomfort emotionally, from 1-10 how uncomfortable do you feel
  3. If you feel emotions of fear or intimidation

What to do when these things happen: 

  1. Take time away from the person to access the relationship, to give your heart space to breathe and feel
  2. Say “no” or create verbal boundaries such as “I do not feel that way”, “no thank you”
  3. Find a way to create physical boundaries

And if it gets unhealthy, please find a way to stay away from the person. You must put yourself first.

The Myth of Not Being Enough

You are enough, for God. But usually not for humans. If you were purely living in grace, you are enough. Now, when you’re a kid, you get to play, and you’re allowed to be goofy. As you grow up, you gradually notice that you are rewarded for “being good” to your parents. You know, being obedient. Then, you are applauded for accomplishing things like getting A’s, being president of some volunteer organization or club at school, writing a good essay for your college, getting into a good college, dating the right kind of person that your friends approve of, looking nice, losing weight, the list seems to go on.

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That’s me just playing, because I wanted to, because I was curious, because I was interested, not because I was being forced to.

As you get older, you are applauded for getting the right kind of job with the right salary, you are congratulated for having a kid, getting married, maybe staying at a few luxury resorts….you get applauded for trying, but not really for failing. Or for living at home with your parents when you are 30…definitely not applauded for still being single and doing odd jobs and freelancing….you definitely are not applauded for “being” because “being” seems lazy, seems well, lazy times two.

Your whole life after 3 years old, or whatever age you stopped playing because your parents wanted you to “succeed”, is a whole list of doing, trying, accomplishing, checking off lists. It’s a tiring rat race.

After I became self-employed, I had to release the idea of trying. I hustled really hard. And even that wasn’t freedom, it was slavery to the whole system of striving. When I finally gave into what I call grace, allowing God to open the right doors, I still struggle with it at times…but now I’m more sensitive to it.

The spirit of striving is like this spirit that sits on your shoulder and tells you “YOU’RE NOT ENOUGH = DO MORE!” 

Do you ever notice that when you want attention and love from people, you rarely get it? You seem desperate and people can smell it? But when you’re content and filled with love, people love to bother you. It’s because that is BEING. The God void in your heart isn’t supposed to come from people, they can’t fill your every need. It’s supposed to come from within, a divine Godly love.

And when you are filled with DIVINE LOVE, people are attracted to real unconditional, spirit filled love. A desperate need for love comes from fear, fear of not being enough. Fear that you need peoples’ approval. 

Yesterday my mom was like “if only you had studied something else”. I’m like, “you want a happy daughter or a miserable one?” And Helen Fisher had really helped me discover my personality, I got 97% explorer, which just means I don’t like being controlled and I love excitement and variety…….paired with builder is a no no because they tend to be too structured and have a need for stability. Which makes a lot of sense because in my past relationships the guy didn’t even have a passport. And here I am literally itching to go to 100 more countries.

SO rest into what I call divine grace.

And if you don’t understand what that means, ask. And you shall receive the answer as I am slowly learning. It’s a lifestyle, it’s a divine now.

You are enough. Stop doing and start soaking in the love that fills you to the overflow. 

“And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.”- Romans 11:6

Are You Ready To Live Authentically? Here’s How.

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You are unstoppable, my friend, my mentor, my mom, my ally.

You are unstoppable, only you can determine your destiny. There are angels waiting to disperse at the echo of your words and commitment. Are you committed to being unstoppable? Will you let the challenges of life stop you from your purpose? Will you let momentary afflictions be your stopping point? Will you simply stare at the stop sign that men made, or will you walk across the street. 

Recently I’ve been walking 2 miles plus a day. The stop light in Pasadena is quite relentless. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT the light goes, maybe it’s for the blind, but maybe also for those that need a little reminder that your purpose sometimes makes you wait. It’s unnerving, scary, like what the hell is going on?

But once it squeaks out “walk sign is on”, it’s an okay for you to go, knowing you’ll be safe….

Although I’ve gone through some rough patches recently, not knowing where life will take me, where God is leading me…I’ve held onto rock solid faith…it’s helped me to open up to close friends about what I’ve been going through. From the outside, I’m a fun loving human being doing amazing things, but every hero has a story. Sometimes life gets dark, so dark I started sleeping 12 hours at one point, not necessarily because I was truly resting …but because I was depressed.

I thought too much. I thought about whether my life even made any sense- why did I sell all my furniture, minimalize my life to this extent? Did it make sense that I forsaw myself traveling around the world, living in hotels, airbnb’s, couchsurfing, and making friends while speaking, selling books on autopilot and making bank without doing anything called “work” (but simply being 100% me and being super passionate about telling my story, healing the broken hearted and awakening people to their true identity and dreams)…did all of this even make any sense when my current reality didn’t seem so positive?

But in the midst of crying my heart out to a friend, I realized that it’s all going to be okay. Knowing that I wasn’t the only one struggling in life helped me to see that vulnerability is everything. Without struggles, we wouldn’t need each other to vent to….we truly NEED each other to live in peace, love and hope. When I hear that I’m not the only one, that there are tons of other people on instagram who are building awesome, amazing, life and world changing businesses, I can hope again. I’m not the ONLY one out here living for something MORE. 

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I WANT MORE of life, more of passion, more of freedom, more of love.

I WANT TO SEE change in this world, in my life, in yours.

What’s the MORE you want? 

WHAT ARE YOU HUNGRY FOR? What is YOUR HEART HUNGRY for? 

Be honest, be vulnerable. Until you can pour out your fears to someone, rip open the bandage and show all of that nasty stuff….you’re really living a lie, covering up the little child within. Let it out, you need to be heard, you need to be loved. Once you do that, something magical happens…you’re able to live the authentic life, for the passions and people you truly love. 

What has hurt the most in your life is probably the healing story you’ll be part of in your passion.

So for me…it is healing from growing up with an absent father and learning to trust God for that which I lacked growing up, stability, finance, security, protection. I’m a survivor. I grew up always on guard, my heart was always protecting itself. I was always ready to defend myself, physically and mentally…but deep down, I was scared shitless.

I’ve managed to screw up and self-sabotage areas of my life that could have sprout up. But I don’t live in regret, since that leads to death. No, I live in hope and renewal everyday because everyday is a clean slate. 

My passion and life purpose lies in helping people to identify their broken story and to heal that which they overprotect….the wounds, the nasty stuff under the bandage…the shit that has been rotting under your heart, so deep that no one can get to WHO YOU REALLY ARE. The facade you layer on, the shit you buy to cover who you really are….I know those wounds are there, but do you? You are not going to bullshit me with that nice suit or that designer bag. You are not going to bullshit me with your prized job title, no no no, most people see the outward appearance but God sees the heart.

And well, I see your heart too.

It’s hurting.

So let it out, be real. Until you do that, you can’t receive love….how can you? Until you let someone see those fears, those wounds….you can’t mend those wounds, apply ointment to heal that scab…It’s all covered up. Some of you have done a really good job of that.

Are you ready to live authentically? 

 

Why You Should Take The Road Less Traveled

Today I took the road less traveled as I often do.

It’s interesting when people that do not have interesting lives tell you what to do, it makes me chuckle a bit. People think being alone is very dangerous, but I think otherwise. I’m never alone, God is always with me. I’m always being directed left or right, back or forward. Can human beings direct me? Not often, unless they’ve walked the same road I’m trying to walk on.

I woke up around 8:30am and decided to try a hike I’ve never done before. It’s supposed to be 10 miles roundtrip. When I got to the bottom of the hill, I noticed there was an interesting path, very rocky all the way up. It wasn’t a paved road. Instinctively, I started walking up.

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Then the road started getting real tiring and it was REALLY cold. However, I was only wearing shorts and a sleeveless drake shirt. Midway up, I thought about going back. 

Isn’t that us in life?

We often want to give up midway to the top. It’s easy to give up and go to starbucks to enjoy our safe cup of coffee, to veg out at home and never see a stranger again, it’s easy to live our routine lives and take the easy path. It’s easy, but our souls tend to die a little more each day because human beings are meant to be challenged, to be excited, to be passionate about life….there’s a little adventurer that longs to see a greater life. 

Do you know what spurred me on?

A set of footsteps, actually the same footsteps all the way up that led me. I knew it was just one person who had gone up this path maybe earlier in the morning or the day before…or who knows when, but it gave me courage to keep going.

Another analogy- when we know that ONE person, even one, have gone before US, we have courage to keep going. 

Whose footsteps are you following?

Ones that inspire you or ones that are simply traditional? Nothing wrong with traditional and the worn path, but are they living the life you desire? 

So I started to sing and talk to myself, I kept hearing “there’s gold on top of the mountain”. There’s gold indeed. I walked by some graffitied metals, up I walked. I even peed once since no one was on the trail.

The great thing about being a rarity is that you can do whatever you want and no one will be there to judge.

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I got to the top area, and was praying for a paved road…finally there was. I thought to myself, “should i keep going or go back because going back is familiar but I have no idea where I’ll be walking now if I keep going forward”.

I heard “keep going forward”.

Now, I started walking down the grey path, some kind of paved road that no one drove on. It was a secret road.

As I started walking down, I looked at the daunting mountains.

OMG am I going to make it back alive. Where am I? My phone had no reception and just from looking down at the city, I was FAR FAR FAR away from the starting point. I just kept hearing “trust me”. Spirit was leading me. The mountains that once inspired me now seemed scary.

I suddenly see this biker and my heart leaped. I hurried and asked him how far I was from the bottom. He said “shouldn’t be that far, it took me 20 minutes to bike up”. Happily, I walked down, but it was WAY more than 20 minutes plus from where he parked, there was still 3-4 miles down the hill. I walked by a chinese couple, I asked them again and this time I told them where I started from, they looked at me with awe. OMG they said. You started THERE!

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“I got lost but now I’ve found”- with my totally frozen hands.

My hands were completely frozen, it hurt to bend them. Finally I saw a white car and a gangster looking guy. He was on the phone with a redbull in his hands. I asked him how far it would take to get down…and by any chance, if he was driving down, could I get a lift? He said he would if he was going down soon.

I kept walking.

And like an angelic sound, the humming of his beaten up car came down like a breeze on a hot night.

The most unlikely ride. I ran and hopped in. And if you were wondering, geez so dangerous. I have hitchhiked with people all over the world and because I can sense peoples’ energy, I am able to do so. I said “you know, sometimes I always wonder whether there are actually kind people in the world when I’m in situations like this”. He said “me too, one time my car broke down on the freeway and I kept waving….no one stopped to help me”.

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I felt sad because I knew that people refused to stop because they were busy, or thought their lives to be busy….probably also because he looked like a gangster. It’s funny how the most unlikely people are actually the ones that help you and the ones that sometimes have everything have no compassion for you.

And as I hopped off the car, I offered a blessing for him. Because with my hands frozen, my heart had melted a little this day. What if we were all kind to one another, what would the world look like? What if we didn’t judge by skin color or class? 

It saddened me to think about it, but it also gave me fresh perspective. Thank God to the many angels that gave me direction today…and so it is with our lives, we can either be safe in our little cave and judgements of others or trust that the universe is full of kind souls, ready to give love and be loved by you….and thus, take the necessary risks to fulfill your dreams. 

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The Year of Manbattical & Cutting The Umbilical Cord

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Dear Readers,

Recently I have decided to be authentic. Totally authentic to myself and to my readers.

How have I been? Amazing.

My life is simple now. I attended boxing class today. A few days ago I complained to the manager that there was a lack of sanitary disposal boxes in the ladies’ room. I then went to the handsome trainer and noted the same. He said “wow, I never thought about it”. I asked him, “do you have sisters?”, he said “no”. I asked “you have a mom”. “Yah, but she’s never talked about it”. I said “do you have a girlfriend?” He said “a fiancee”, I said, “and you’ve never seen sanitary items in the trash…”

These are HONEST conversations I have with people to get them thinking about….well what women struggle with. Our menstrual cycles are not something to be ashamed of. In fact, without it, males wouldn’t exist…babies wouldn’t exist. Women struggle with leakages and monthly cramps to make human kind possible.

Besides having conversations about womens’ lives…here are some progressions in my life:

1. I’ve finally decided to focus on 5 important things in my life: love God, love myself, love others, enjoy the moment, and have fun/be creative.

2. I am no longer hung up on dating, it is my manbattical year and I’d like to EMPOWER myself. When my trainer asked me if I had a boyfriend, I said “I’m dating myself right now. That is why I’m taking boxing classes so that I can empower myself”.

3. I started taking boxing classes and have been GROWING MAD BICEPS. MAD I MEAN REALLY MAD.

4. I’m happily living my life now, apart from blood family. You know, when you’re 27, it’s important to cut the emotional umbilical cord so that you can build your own identity.

5. I’ve been writing a LOT more if you noticed. My friend Sher has graciously allowed me to use her laptop since mine has been broken for 4 months…I’d like to wait for the BEST laptop.

6. I’m eating healthier, getting my proteins and veggies on.

7. I stopped worshipping money and started worshipping the only kind God who gives me joy and allows me to live A BIGGER life. I realized I was chasing after worldly success, and my inner life was cringing, cussing me out for depending on fame, reputation and status.

8. I’m writing a book about love and healing the father wound….for all those that think they’re without issues…think again.

9. Had a realization that I’d like to start a comedy show. Feel totally alive when I’m in the comedy world.

Well, that’s it for now. Thank you for reading.

Check out The Bex List! 

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Who Does God Say You Are?

A lot of people have messed up views about who God is. I don’t claim to be all knowing of who God is, but I know that I wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for God. I converse with this mystical force that people think is this old bearded man who is super mad all the freaken time. I think of God as love, as beauty, as all knowing, as brilliant, bright, loving, all encompassing, non-judgemental, gentle, funny, light-hearted, truthful, definitely not what people have portrayed him as….he definitely does not hate gay people, I don’t know who the hell made that up.

Anyways, on a more serious note, I’m sure that as 2015 has already progressed into 12 days….many of you are already failing, maybe frustrated that you haven’t seen any breakthroughs. As I was dancing this super fast piece at dance rehearsal, I heard this annoying voice “just leave, you can’t do it”. That’s the voice of darkness. I literally wanted to leave because I was so tired, but something in me told me that I needed to PUSH.

I believe it IS the PUSH season. You need to hold onto who God says you are. Well, your thoughts of who God is maybe already tainted….but let’s just say it’s not…let’s just say that you are starting to get to know a totally loving God, who God totally is….God would say:

You’re awesome, you’ve already overcome, you are my brightest star, you are more than a conqueror, you win, you always win in your own competition…” etc. Think positive affirmations, but these things are true about you.

As I was dancing, I kept thinking about my moves…omg. I’m totally messing up. The more I thought about my every move, the more I messed up. So I just said “Let’s dance in flow, let the spirit lead”, and in doing so I felt that I started to dance with more expression, more FUN. 

So maybe your resolutions haven’t come true, but don’t give up on who God says you are…..an overcomer, a CEO, boss.

Now you may need help along the way, especially if you are surrounded by negative people…you need a cheerleader, a healer, a life coach to guide you. If you feel it in your heart and spirit that I can offer you the help you need— Do not hesitate one minute to book your coaching session RIGHT NOW. I believe that the calling I have on my life, the BOMB digity rewards and breakthrough that are coming are WAY above anything I can imagine…and when you are mentored by me, you will get the same rewards I’ve already received in the spirit. 

CLICK NOW and BOOK it, it says that many seeds are planted in a human heart, but not everyone of them grows because some are taken away from negative thinking….will you obey the URGING in your heart? 

THE NEW YEARS OFFER of 3 SESSIONS for $149….6 for $299, etc. Is ENDING JANUARY 31, 2015. This is a 3 for 1 deal that will not last. Why is it SO CHEAP? Because I know you’re scared, I know you don’t think you have money, or perhaps you’re too good for this…EVERY limitation outside of you starts from within. So do it. 

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Did You Register For The Vision Board Workshop? It’s TOMORROW!

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Did you sign up yet?

Limited spots, it is an intimate setting where you can talk openly and be part of the conversation and transformation.
Address will be emailed to you after registration on paypal. Located in Pasadena, California.

When: January 10, 2015 from 2-5pm

The Author of How To Make Money Doing What You Love, Rebekka Lien & Smart Spiritual Sexy hosts the first EVER Vision Board Workshop.
1. Learn practical steps and tips to live your 2015 with ease, grace and flow
2. Learn how to access your inner success, love, life and worth NOW
3. Set your intentions and WHAT IS ALREADY TRUE for 2015!
4. Create AMAZING vision boards with AMAZING people

Supplies, Magazines and YUMMY Refreshments included, but you can bring your own magazines if you like. 🙂

This is a laid back vision board workshop with 3 hours of motivational and practical learning + Practical Application that will transform your life.

***Register before January 1, 2015 to receive a FREE 1 year magazine subscription (most select titles)!
Register today for only $45: https://www.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_flow&SESSION=_yWszCucK0690gokqnCe1bLCyDidCKc8cml46cKsZau991XC0HGJSbv9ITG&dispatch=50a222a57771920b6a3d7b606239e4d529b525e0b7e69bf0224adecfb0124e9b61f737ba21b08198d8562aa8a3da7ac30bbfba73b3e80dcc

XOXO, BEX
http://www.Rebekkalien.com
The Book of Self-Employment- http://payhip.com/b/6zoT
Location will be emailed to attendees.

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LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE BREAKTHROUGH COURSE! January 15!

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Order tickets via Eventbrite: http://www.eventbrite.com/e/live-your-best-life-breakthrough-course-2015-tickets-14813197673?aff=efbevent

An Intimate Breakthrough Coaching Workshop with a maximum of 8 people

About 4 years ago, I was sitting at my desk at a job I hated. I have been self-employed since then and was shocked to learn that YOUR SUCCESS in life is actually related to who you are, not what you do (AND your knowledge of who you really are). My discovery in healing childhood wounds, my heart & mind TRIGGERED doors to be opened and opportunities to thrive. People CAME to me, I no longer had to chase opportunities.

As I sit here completely relaxed, I am grateful to finally be sharing everything I’ve learned to live YOUR BEST LIFE with ease and grace. Many workshops teach you how to TECHNICALLY do something, but this workshop will actually heal parts of your heart that needs to be whole in order for you to SUCCEED and BE HAPPY IN LIFE.

Do you want to magnetize every good thing, opportunities, people into your life?

This workshop is for anyone who is looking to:
1. CREATE the life you want especially in your career and relationships
2. FLOURISH and grow in every aspect of their lives
3. CLARIFY your life vision, mission and strategize for your 2015 goals
4. IDENTIFY and REMOVE what is preventing your success or what is making you feel unsuccessful
5. DEFINE who you really are and LIVE in your FULLEST potential.
6. LEARN DAILY Practical exercises to STRENGTHEN your soul, spirit and mind.
7. TAKE ACTION steps which you need to take in order to thrive in 2015
8. GROW your business, thrive in your relationship (or open yourself up to finding a partner) or gain spiritual and emotional peace, awareness.

KEY TOPICS:
1. Reprogram YOUR mind for success
2. Healing past wounds which keep you from your highest purpose
3. Learn powerful tools to navigate your 2015 with power and success
4. Light Yoga and Meditation exercises to heal and receive all the goodness in life
5. Prosper with Ease and Grace – ATTRACT every good thing to yourself
6. Vision Boarding and Strategizing

May the people who need this equipping come and courageously sign up for your healing, prosperity and success in every area of your life!

Workshop Fee Covers:
1. All Coaching Materials- Exclusive workbook
2. Vision Board Materials
3. Lunch & Refreshments

Your investment in yourself will reap 1000 folds.
Course Fee: $350
Early Bird Before December 20: $295

Student Early Bird: $175 before December 20 

//eventbrite.com/tickets-external?eid=14813197673&ref=etckt

You’ve Been Living A Lie

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Well, not all of you. Hopefully not the majority. But I sense that you are reading this because you want a life of authenticity. You’ve been living a lie, the lie that because you are NOT ENOUGH, you have to keep striving, to be someone, to be great, to be successful. It’s all a lie. Indeed, we are not perfect, thus we are not enough on our own. We are not enough, but we are enough in the eyes of the infinite source that sustains us and keeps the universe running, the one who keeps the stars up, the sun shinning everyday, the moon appearing at night. If us humans can build such beauties as the eiffel tower, who built the ocean, who built the mountains?

Yes, rush around, rush around. The message of the day is – you are not enough, so you must try harder, work harder, put in more hours. Isn’t it? We need to attend to this urgent matter because we will lose lots of money and after 30 years of trying harder, we fall into our death bed, or we rush around with panic attacks, soon getting into a car accident which then cost us everything we’ve worked so hard to earn.

I hope this will wake people up. It all seems very positive, “all success takes hard work”- that’s a lie. How about someone who wants to be a CEO of a company and he works very hard scrubbing toilets, yet never putting into action what he really wants to do and wasting crucial years of his life. How about “BE harder”. I know that sounds strange.

Be- stop everything and be and breathe. The birds of the air do not store up what they’ll eat next, they trust and take it one day at a time. Be, because who you are attracts everything that you are- including quality people, resources, wisdom, wealth.

Some of us have been told growing up that we are not enough. Some of us, like myself, were also told that “you should be thankful, I could have left you or given you up for adoption”. I felt like a burden. I’m sure you’ve felt that way, that you were a burden so you needed to work hard to prove you were someone of worth, or that you could be independent and not be a burden on someone. I started working when I was 14. Actually I started when I was in 3rd grade.

I’ve always been entrepreneurial, but I wonder when that entrepreneurial free spirit then became a burden when I felt that I had to use it to prove my worth. My gifting became a curse because of the fearful motivation beneath it all.

I felt that I was not enough alone, as a human being, imperfect yet brilliant, a design, a marvelous light of energy. 

I trust that this post will open the hearts of many to sit down and think.

You see, everyone identifies with something, a label. Whether it is a son, daughter, mother, father, designer, architect, writer, etc..none of that matters. We are often given a role and have expectations put on us. Some of these expectations are preconceived, from many years of society telling us what it should look like, some of these are purely manmade, reflections of what another person lacks and needs.

In the eyes of infinite source, we are magnificent, and we should create our life work, our life expression out of authenticity, out of being, out of wanting, out of desire, out of passion, not out of pressure. You see, the sun will still rise, the sun will still set everyday. What are we rushing around for? When we are rushing around, we are not living in the moment and before we know it, we’ve spent 80 years of our lives, rushing to our deaths and not remembering one minute of it. 

Get away from all the voices and be still.

What do you hear?

Feel free to comment below, I’d love to hear from you!

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And to end with a song I think resonates with what I wrote:

In Momentary Afflictions, Be. Renee Zellweger.

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All is well in our deepest longings, truth, meaningless, presents.

We seek what escapes us, what is momentary, status, symbols, reputation, what others think of us, it is all in vain. All of it is in vain if we do not have a strong anchor to who we really are.

When we leave all that we know, our culture, our people, our family even, we realize that happiness derives from within, from embracing the moments. And if not now, then when? Should we wait until we have it all together, until society deems our present situation redeemable? Until our community thinks we have made it? Until stability seems steady, sturdy? Until we have succeeded to climb up higher into the darkness of corporations and societal success? Until when will we let go and escape, find what we really want in life?

Some of us will never question what and why.

We will never escape into the woods, turn off electricity or connectedness to find our true connectivity. What keeps us alive, what fuels us, it’s definitely not looking at a celebrity (Renee Zellweger) who had plastic surgery. We are so concerned about what the celebrities are doing, we don’t look deeper. Isn’t it time that we question why depression and a sense of depravity has clouded our communities? Instead of judging people for changing their outer appearance, isn’t it time we have compassion on them or perhaps ask ourselves the same questions?

Why is it that people are killing themselves due to depression and why is it that people feel like they have to change themselves to please the judgements of our communities? 

And hasn’t it worsened, because they tried to change their faces, they have been judged even MORE.

I have one word for our society, fucked up. And I beckon that we look within ourselves to see what’s growing there.

Please, look at our own hearts, our own words, the condition of our own soul.

So on a more prose note, OMG, I thought that Reneee had died by the facebook feeds. Seriously, turns out she just had plastic surgery. It was grotesque to read what people were writing about her while I’m here in Czech.

Letting go is not easy, but letting go, can be fun, can be freeing.