Tag: relationships

It Might Not Look Like It, But Choosing My Dreams Was Scary

On By Rebekka LienIn business, entrepreneurLeave a comment

I went to a networking event and met a photographer….spontaneous photos!

The other day, I was speaking to another woman entrepreneur and was so shocked when she said “I was so intimidated by you, you look so up there!”

I was like ….WHAT?

Are you kidding me!!! It almost cracks me up when I hear that, it’s also encouraging to know that I may appear successful, but just like YOU- I have my fears and discouragements.

When I first started teaching Mandarin, I was intimidated. What if my students wanted to know words I didn’t already know? Mandarin has thousands of characters.

I learned to be humble and to show what I didn’t know, but to fully do the research for my students.

When I first started coaching, was I intimidated? Yes, I had picked up this book about coaching. The author suggested that I give free sessions, to just JUMP INTO COLD WATER and PRACTICE. 

My fears? I didn’t have the certification, the education for “coaching” (whatever that meant). I didn’t really know how. I started researching and learn from the best- Tony Robbins, Jonathan Mead, Ali Brown, Oprah, Carnegie, Marie Forleo, you get the idea. I borrowed books from libraries and listened to hundred of seminars and webinars. HUNDREDS. Yes, no kidding. I read a lot, I was definitely NOT LAZY.

Did this all happen overnight?

Nope, but I did think about it for years. I wasted energy just THINKING, but letting the fears take over my mind.

All I had to do was just DO ONE THING, TAKE ONE STEP. 

Even if that one thing fails….you try ANOTHER THING.

That’s how I got THIS far. I looked the lion in the EYE and TACKLED IT HEAD ON, OR MORE LIKE, I RODE THE LION. What did I do? I offered FREE Sessions, typed up analytical steps that I would take my clients through and incorporate every inch of my soul, wisdom, experience and spiritual healing powers. That’s why I know my coaching sessions are effective, because I have been through it myself in my life. 

Live boldly EVERYDAY and DO 1 SCARY THING today.

For a free consultation about how YOU can create the life you desire, schedule an appointment now. Don’t worry, I don’t bite!

Unlock Your Destiny Life Coach, Realtor & 
Creative Music/Fashion Instructor 
 
*Referrals appreciated! Please Share, Tweet, Refer Me!*

How To Build Influence In Today’s Cyber World

On By Rebekka LienIn business, faith, self- reflectionLeave a comment

steve-jobs-quote

Believe it OR NOT.

I am STILL a STRONG believer in FACE TO FACE contact.

If you haven’t noticed, there are SO many millions of people marketing their online content, selling goods, making millions….this is great, but…

I still believe in LONG TERM impact rather than quick results. 

As human beings, we are prone to NOT trust people.

How do you build INFLUENCE in today’s cyber world? Just a few tips…

1. Attend events, parties, functions that relate to what you love, what you’re passionate about. AUTHENTICITY is key in today’s over populated blogs and websites. People don’t listen until you listen to them first. This means, making GENUINE friendships IN person. It’s been amazing to meet people I’ve met on Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook in person- nothing is impossible these days. Of course, you can’t meet every single person, but FACE TO FACE contact definitely builds trust, chemistry, and connection.

2. Help Others & They’ll Help YOU in return – Just because I am going to be like Oprah one day doesn’t mean I have to be snobby about it (LOL!!). I believe giving someone a FREE connection, sending opportunities to people, networking the right people….giving students, newbies a chance, is a great way of being a mentor. In turn, they will support YOU and broadcast you because of your love and generosity. 

3. GET GOOD at INTEGRATING YOUR LIFE – Get good at mentioning your work, your business….when you pay someone for their service or goods, make sure to mention your product or service too. Ask for them to promote you, give them your business card.

Places I have given out my business cards: Clubs, Bars, House Parties, Relative Functions, Work Events, Cafes, Banks (to the teller), on the bus, on the train, etc

I also leave stacks of my flyers and business cards at every cafe I go to. Every outing is an opportunity to expand, to build influence. The right person will pick up your card at the right time. Don’t ever give up, always be ready to promote yourself.

4. Be A Teacher – when you teach, you become an EXPERT at what you do. I will be creating a video about this. I was at a cross roads in my life and didn’t know what to do to generate income, plus I hated the 9 to 5. I drew a chart with 3 columns.

1 was my Skills and Talents. I wrote down everything I knew how to do and was good at.

2 was my PASSION– what excites YOU? What can you remember in the past that created a fire in your heart?

3 was MY VISION– The ultimate purpose and fire of your life. WHAT is your vision? Mine was to empower and help others be who they were meant to be…I want to help people SOAR to their FULLEST and beyond what they can imagine. That is my vision.

I linked all 3 and decided that I could teach everything that I was good at. Then birthed my business. You can discover your life calling too!

How To Look At Distractions

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

We Americans are taught to push, push, push until we have what we want.

Then, our lives get ROCKED. Hard. 

We feel bad in that moment, because we didn’t persevere or push on when we’re in the face of trauma. Perhaps we took a break from life and hid in our safe place. 

I believe that distractions, interferences, fights, hardship, sudden circumstances can be eye-openers to what we truly want, what we truly don’t want, and wake up calls.

These wake up calls can be:

+ A call to have fun and to relaxe, take a break, to laugh and not be so serious

+ A call to look at what has not been working & to try another method 

+ A call to examine self and not necessary the work project at hand

+ A call to be good to yourself and to love yourself 

 

The Definition of Bitch.

On By Rebekka LienIn Uncategorized1 Comment

In our day and age, sometimes it is difficult to elaborate what it means to be a woman. How are we different from men? 

Well, we have more hormones, we’re the mother of children, we’re feminine, we’re intuitive, great at multi-tasking and negotiating, and are usually the people compassionate to do something about the poor, the sick, the weak, the children, etc.

In a more modern sense, by the likes of society, women have been categorized.

There’s two categories-

1. Bitches

2. Non- bitches, or so called normal woman

I was talking to my friend the other day, she mentioned “of course we become bitches, because men will not stop harassing us, so we have to look straight forward, not glance around or even smile- otherwise they’ll get the wrong idea”. I thought that was such a strong commentary on our society today. 

Second, our educational system and/or culture does not teach us how to speak up, wisely for our needs. Especially, women. Men are raised to know what they need and want, and to go after it without much hindrance. 

What happens then? Women become “bitches” because we have emotional outbursts over needs that have not been met….buried so deep within we don’t even know it’s there. Women, we can’t even elaborate it ourselves and we keep giving until we’re empty.

My question is, how do we speak up for our needs without coming off as a Bitch. 

By knowing what we need FIRST and elaborating that truth to the world and helping other women to clarify the desires deep within their hearts. 

 

 

Setting 2013 Goals

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Setting goals, without goals, human beings will be like ghosts floating around, wasting their life away.

I sense that there is something different in the air.

Instead of setting goals for numbers, cars, houses, things….why not set goals for the abstract? This means, bearing spiritual fruit…because ultimately things don’t define you. Things can come and go, but you- as a person, must grow internally.

Questions to ask yourself, write down your answers and tape it on your wall:

1. What kind of person do you want to become in 2013? 

2. How are you different from 2011, what major events and circumstances helped you to become the person you are today?

3. Instead of guilting yourself for the things that YOU didn’t do, WHAT were you successful in doing? (being a great dad, organizing your house better, building up your business, loving your partner/kids, friends, etc) What did it look like and how did you feel?

4. What drove you? (the key is to UNCOVER your motivation and passion, PASSION is what drives YOU to LOVE WHAT YOU DO and thrive in it). I believe in DOING what you are already GOOD at, instead of trying to master your weaknesses.

5. What does your life look like in 2013 (what is your ideal lifestyle)? Don’t just define WHAT you have, but WHO you are. This means, will you be more patient, less depressed, more joyful, carefree, happy? As Tony Robbins said, all that you want in life is about emotions. This means that when we want a new car or a successful relationship – we think that we will be happy (aka emotions). That means, we have to be happy first, internally. What will build your inner stability, your inner peace? Since we can’t RELY on external forces to give us happiness, no human being can give us the happiness we want.

inner-peace-one

2013 for me, will be about seeking depth, meaning, seeking peace, breathing more often. A lot of our worries, fears, and failures come from inner turmoil. In order to master our external world, we need to seek peace with ourselves. This means facing our past and acknowledging the places we have come from. That’s the first step.

Second step?

Ask for help. Read books, talk to people who have been through it, bravely face that which you were….then move on and seek truth, seek forgiveness, seek love.

Nothing external can redeem us from ourselves. You are the person you spend the most time with….until the day you collapse into your grave, so seek depth.

Personally, I have learned to be patient, to forgive more easily, to wait more patiently and to recognize childhood issues I never dealt with. In June, I started teaching private lessons, which have been successful (thanks to all my students), but now it’s a matter of having a goal for teaching (what do I want to accomplish with teaching?). I started doing real estate, but am now also waiting for the next step…it’s like Oprah being told she can’t have a show…yet. Potential bursting at the seams. It’s a season of resting and preparing for major action.

Wealth In Your Soul

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I think it’s important to dissect and evaluate our values, our perspective on wealth.

My friend had some really great points during our discussion on our lives.

What is wealth? And why do we value it. Wealth is usually associated with money, but think about the following:

1. What if you had all the best clothes, but had no friends to go out with to wear your nice clothes?

2. What if you had all the money in the world, but had no mental health to even walk outside and work, function?

3. What if you had no health, and isn’t health part of our wealth?

4. What about spirituality? Having a focal point, a vision, a stability in our spirit?

All human beings desire to be loved, to be valued, but it is so easy to get caught up with what the media and popular culture values. Living alone has helped me to see the importance of true friendships, genuine people who care for you, it has also shown me the deception of the world and the false faces that people put on to get what they want from you. It is most unfortunate. Essentially, humans are flawed. Knowing this, we can move forward and create our destiny.

I have learned throughout my 24 years…that few things matter without stability in YOUR SOUL (not in your circumstances), relationships are the only thing you have if you have nothing else, and that the NOISE of the world destroys identity. 

All the noise (busy-ness for nothing, random obligations that we care not for, grasping of air)- is the one thing that distracts us from reflecting on why we do anything. Is it for others, for others to think well of us, seeking of approval? Is it because we are hurt and refuse to deal with the hurt?

Silence Mind

How To Live Life One Step At A Time

On By Rebekka LienIn Uncategorized4 Comments

 

“Life affords no higher pleasure than that of surmounting difficulties, passing from one step of success to another, forming new wishes and seeing them gratified.”-Samuel Johnson

 

The last entry was about stepping up, quit complaining, and stepping into the promise land.

This entry is about stepping into the dark.

Now what do I mean?

I mean: Sometimes you just need to put your feet forward in spite of not knowing whether a crocodile will bite your leg off.

Most likely, a crocodile will not appear and bite your leg off. That is probably the most horrible thing that could happen. Most likely you will fail.

The analogy comes from my experience teaching sewing and mandarin. I started teaching a few years ago at different studios, the one that gave me hours paid me very little, the one that did give me doable salary, had very little hours. Overall, I was tired of undercompensation.

It was in the darkness, in the storm, that my lightbulb went on. Craigslist was one of my saviors. He put me on a pedestal and showed me the true meaning of life.

Did I know if my first student would be creepy? No. I did not. Do I ever know if I’ll be safe, happy, secure, stable, wealthy. Nope.

I just jumped into the dark. Did I know everything I was teaching at first? No. To be honest, most of us don’t, we self- educate on things that school never taught us.

What did that first step get me? My second step. What did my second step get me? The third. So on and so forth. Why have I come so far in self- realization? I don’t know. I guess I just stepped forward even thought I had no idea whether my leg would still be attached.

I guess it would get really dark when the Isrealites were walking to the promise land. Maybe some got so scared of crocodiles and sinking sand, that some would rather cower, kneel down and cry. Some never made it because they were so scared. A hurricane probably hurled them into the ocean.

My point is, just take one step at a time. It will lead you to the next. Want to quit your job? Google 2 weeks notice, next step, copy and paste and input names and date, next step, print it and put it in an envelope. Want to get a date? Put your photo on eharmony, find a hottie and send a message. Want to make a better income? Make the changes, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 – take the steps and don’t think too much about how DIFFICULT it is.

Just do it.

 

Why Take The Difficult Path For What You Want

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Now, I’m starting to see why this year had to happen. Nothing seems to phase me now. I’m surrounded by nature, hummingbirds, sun, I have my own yard, I live alone. I have personal space.

Every adversity is a stepping stone to who you want to be. And what you want.

Guess what? They are not stumbling blocks or even obstacles to your dreams. The adversities, the discouragements are only stepping stones. You step on them to get to the next stair steps. When you feel discouraged, you focus on your goal, you focus on the goodness of life.

I did not want to sit on my butt for 8 hours aday, so I had to create something mobile. I had to quit, I traveled, I saw the world, I started selling jewelry and clothes. After going to South America, I was stumped again. I was broke again, I had to reinvent the wheel. I started posting my private lessons on Craigslist, I started building my clientale. I started to hone my skills, now I teach sewing, mandarin, piano…

The great thing about being a creative entrepreneur, 2 days I can be on the road teaching. Today, I get to wake up and sit in nature, work on my online business, and write. Tonight, my friend and I are hosting our first meeting of Fashion Shares, a community of women for the purpose of empowering each other!

Question of the Day: How do you find out what you want to do in life?

Answer: You don’t, you live and learn. You try and learn from mistakes, but you can always have a big vision. For me, I always wanted to empower people, so I delved into things that allowed me to be with people. I also love managing my own time, and I didn’t know this until someone else started managing my time. That’s when I knew I couldn’t continue being controlled. There are very strategic ways to weed out options- if you have questions comment below! 🙂

Remember: The difficult path IS messy, you will cry many times, you will be frustrated even more, but the pay off is….after the messiness of trying things out, figuring out what works and what doesn’t, you’ll come out of it wiser and you’ll know MORE of what you’re good at and want to do.

The key to achieving any dreams you DARE to dream is DARING to do it.

On By Rebekka LienIn Uncategorized2 Comments

I could still remember being picked, it was a feeling of shock. Could it really be me? The whole world was watching me, I could only react.

Perhaps that’s how I will feel when I walk into the stadium and speak to thousands and millions of people. I’ll talk about how I wipe my @$$ with cotton balls because I was at my worst, broke enough to find creative ways to save.

1 Year in review, letting go of the security, of health care, of stability…and the things I did:

1. Got on a game show, was face to face with a famous host

2. Backpacked to Australia and South America

3. First time improving on a TV show, tried out the whole acting scene

4. Spoke at FIDM

5. Started full on teaching mandarin, music, and sewing

6. Moved….again. Now live on my own! HURRAY!

7. Worked on many projects, worked 4 months at a vintage clothing store, assisted a business owner at gift shows, started writing my ebook, started selling my paintings, placed garments at a gallery, and continued to build my online stores.

I suppose those are all great things, but my whole year was built on relationships, lots of building tight knit friendships and feeling the support of close friends.

We hear this “ONE DAY” a lot. “One day I will….”, “One day….”. One day, guess what folks. The day is today. Daily, I force myself to do things that require REJECTION. I get on an airplane and talk to strangers. I started acting because I thought I could be a better speaker, I travel so I can ask strangers any questions I want. I backpacked alone into the jungles of Tena, Ecuador. YES, AS A WOMAN. I refuse to let minority standards bring me down. I believe as a woman, we have even more opportunities to SHOW the world we are just that amazing.

I believe in being FEARLESS. I believe in going into ANYTHING with 110% fierceness, 110% fearless of death, fearless of rejection. 

I believe that the key to achieving any dreams you DARE to dream is DARING to do it. So, what is it that you want to do in your life, who is it that you want to be? Do it today. 

The rainbow symbolizes hope, hope in a better future, hope that after a storm is a renewed and refreshed life.

Stopping To Breathe

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Stopping to breathe, perhaps it is the most important thing we can do during our day.

When we lose track, when we lose hope, when we feel exhausted with our own thoughts. When we need a break from the voices that seek to tear our relationships apart.

Breathe. And feel yourself be present. May I feel peace, now. My I feel peace because I live in the now, not in the future where I’m anxious, not in the past, where I am depressed. I only know that I am present, when I feel myself inhale and exhale.

When I can watch the tide come in and let myself be washed, clean and feel the purity of the wind.

I love this video, reminds us that the most important thing in our lives is “time and relationships”.

As I’m heading to Norcal tomorrow- I’ve written a list, may you find your own list as you breathe.

Things to Be and Do In Norcal-
1. Relaxe, like crazy. Relaxe like I have never relaxed in my life.
2. Unplug. Do this in a crazy way too. Only bring notebook, ipod, phone and pen.
3. Read. Read and study, study everything I’m teaching (Mandarin, sewing, art, music even, read books about how to teach these subjects).
4. Sell art, jewelry, accessories from my portable store.
5. Relaxe, again….
6. Write, a lot. Write in my journal, write like facebook never existed. Finish my book, if it is possible….that would be freaken amazing!!!
7. Celebrate my year of self-employment. Reward myself, say and write to myself everything I could have imagined a boss saying to me. “OMG, Rebekka you are so amazing, these are the things you accomplished even though you were broke! Now, you’ve really found yourself eh?”
8. Take control of my finances. Like for real. Stop buying coffee…make my own delicious and cheaply!
9. Be adventurous and have fun, like a young 24 year old should. Pretend I’m 21 and I never had to go through the stress of being an entrepreneur.
10. Breathe like never before.