The Abbey

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People ask me why God would tell me to go to a gay club.

Well, the Abbey actually means church, monastery.

The Lord told me to write about my experiences and share with you how the spirit has led me to thousands of people in my life. First of all, if you have never read my testimony, here it is My Spirit Led Testimony. 

You will encounter and read about a non-conventional testimony, I am a prophet who pastors lost sheep and have been led all over the world, with sometimes little to nothing to survive but was led by the spirit to pastor lost sheep. Lost sheep are people who don’t believe in Jesus or people who have walked away from God. The lost sheep of Israel are the ones who have not believed that Jesus is the messiah.

God has even led me to people through dating sites.

So is God non-conventional or what?

In December I lost my phone at the Abbey, 

I was devastated. I had lost my phone 2 times there already and actually got it back. That was the beginning of going to the Abbey for fun and ministry. What I mean by that is I have fun there but I also meet a lot of people there. I’ve met hundreds of people in that area that grew up Christian or walked away. I’ve prophesied to future pastors on the dance floor, had people cry into my arms.

It does take awhile for conservatives to understand what I do.

They think that a bar cannot go with Jesus. But little do they know that God works miracles in bars. Not everyone is called to this kind of ministry.

And the thing is I don’t do it intentionally. I go where the spirit leads, but I am not religious. Meaning I try to get to know people, I am friends with them, I am vulnerable with them.

Some people think that you should have all your issues figured out before ministering to others but that’s actually not true. God has shown me that I need to tell people how I am feeling, what I am struggling with. As I share with people, they share with me what they are going through.

That’s true ministry. Jesus shared in His pain, He didn’t shield the disciples from pain, He showed them He was stressed out, bleeding and sweating, praying in turmoil.

One night I was crying my eyes out because I was in severe pain, it had to do with heartbreak. I walked into this other bar without ordering anything and just cried into this guy’s lap. He said that he was going through the same thing and this other girl said she was also constantly getting used in relationships. Then the bartender asked me if I was okay and gave me his number. He checked in on me and made sure I was okay. He said he also went through a breakup and was heart broken. Then I met the manager who told me he was a lost sheep and grew up Christian. That all happened in 20 minutes.

I have been led to people sitting alone at the Abbey on numerous occasions. People who were really lonely and were lost sheep. I’ll walk into the place and feel the Spirit leading me to specific people. I’ll go up to them and ask if I could sit with them. I’ve gotten rejected before but I’d get the courage to talk to them again if it’s God’s will.

For example, one 60 year old man told me “you’re dismissed”. I felt so hurt by that. The next time I saw him again and confronted him. I said what he said hurt me and he apologized. He said his parents treated him that way and he thought it was normal. He told me that he grew up Catholic.

People don’t understand that when we tell people how we feel, it creates a safe space for conversation and relationship. I see him there all the time, he is often alone and I gave him a hug one time, screaming in glee and the staff reprimanded me because well, it’s covid season.

One Jewish man said his mom just passed away and his girlfriend broke up with him 3 days ago. Another guy said he was molested by his grandparents. One guy said he was feeling suicidal and needed a hug because his ex boyfriend physically abused him.

Sometimes I got yelled at for hopping tables. I’ve gotten kicked out for no reason. But I have guardian angels there. I have security guard friends, I have a Christian friend buser. I ask what their names are and become friends with them. They are familiar faces and most of them do have some kind of faith.

I have thousands of stories, and it’s not just at the Abbey. It’s on the streets, it’s at the beach. God uses everything and anything for me to reach His lost sheep and there are millions out there. They are often severely rejected by their parents and have no sense of home. They feel alone because they have no family. I can relate because sometimes I feel like I have no blood family. I didn’t feel safe with them and explaining my life/ministry to them has always resulted in rejection. 

I hope that one day everyone will understand, but that’s not the case. Heaven knows, God knows, and that’s enough.

Give to this ministry- Thank you! God bless! 

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Funny Cartoons About The Church, Grace and Jesus

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When people listen to a pastor or an institution more than Jesus’ voice.

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When you get persecuted by Christians for following Jesus. -.-!

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When I tell people that God told me something…..some people kill the messenger.

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When you try to live under the law and God has already made you whole, so that you are no longer performing or trying to do the right thing, or trying to be better, you live from a place of grace and wholeness (and not paranoia, thinking you are always trying to be right with God)…you are already right with God.

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Can you relate? Please share or comment on this blog post! Let’s share the grace and freedom of God! 🙂 I also started a patreon below if you’d like to join. To give to the efforts of this ministry, in spreading the FREEDOM AND JOY of the Lord, links are below. THANK YOU SO MUCH for building the house of God! 🙂 

To donate or give a love offering-

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

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https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

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Become a patreon! 

If you like to book a coaching or inner healing session, please email me at rebekkalien@gmail.com.

 

Saving Myself For Marriage

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Hi folks,

In the last few months God has continued to heal my heart of male/father issues. He has brought me a lot of men to minister to. Young men who have been molested, and because of that, became very sexual growing up. I always share how I am waiting until marriage to have sex. I am very open about it now. I didn’t use to be. Some woman called me “different” and didn’t want to carpool with me from Vegas to LA on a tradeshow I worked at while I was doing fashion. She didn’t tell me directly, she avoided me and told other people. 

I was outcasted because of my choice to wait. 

I am praying for Madison of The Bachelor. She is one woman who has openly said to Peter that she will not marry him if he chooses to sleep with the other woman on the show. Peter also grew up Christian but does not have the same convictions.

I have told countless men who have tried to be with me, that because they don’t have the same conviction or commitment to God, I do not want to be with them.

There is only one man for me.

I will not compromise. 

Because I am worth it. 

I dabbled in promiscuity before, though still abstaining from intercourse. At that time I was broken and hurt, I was trying to get attention from man, I was heart broken over my ex. I didn’t know how to communicate or have real relationships. I understood lust, I understood the feeling of being touched by a man. But I didn’t understand true love. 

Now I understand the love of God and my worth, I can sense the spirit of seduction.

There has been a spirit of lust trying to pull me down my whole life. I am pretty sure my dad had a porn addiction because he never expressed himself emotionally and after my parents’ divorce. I found a sheet of paper with nude photos of women when I was in Taiwan. I burned it and started praying. But that impure spirit still haunted me. So men kept trying to hit on me (you know the creepy vibe? that’s a spirit of lust), old men kept trying to follow me.

It’s like they could sense I was a virgin.

God has given me victory.  I’ve learned the power of no when it comes to physical boundaries. Because I deserve the best. I will not compromise.

I share with young men who have been cheated on, men who are Christians and Catholics about my decision to wait. I want to share with men that it is okay to wait, that they don’t have to give into societal pressures to sleep around. 

Love is MUCH more than physical touch, it is emotional understanding, patience, gentleness, forgiveness. 

Satan wants to destroy your sense of worth through sex.

Of course if you’ve already had sex you are still righteous in God’s eyes because of Jesus’ sacrifice.

But Satan has been wanting to destroy how you feel about yourself since the fall. If you are spirit filled, you will notice how you feel after you have physical interactions with a guy/girl (like a one night stand, etc). You will feel drained and tired, you don’t feel loved, you feel used, you feel dirty. 

Satan loves to attack you with a spirit, then make you feel guilty about it.

If you feel guilt about anything, speak “I am righteous in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus”.

When you are transformed by the Holy Spirit, you no longer want the things of this world. It’s not conditioning or controlling yourself, it comes out of a deep desire for the things of God. But that means you have to be submitted to surrendering to Jesus. You can tell if someone is not fully healed or submitted.

It does not mean they are less than, but if you have convictions about things like sex, you’ll start to discern whether someone is really committed to a love relationship with God. 

Sex before marriage is lust driven. It literally means that a spirit of lust comes upon you. I pray that the Lord will heal you of an sexual wounds or heart wounds.

No matter what your past looks like you are pure in God’s eyes because of Jesus’ sacrifice that makes you white as snow. No matter what you did yesterday God only sees Jesus in you. 

But I want to share this with you, especially young men and women who feel pressured to be promiscuous because of what society says.

If you like to join my group, I’ve just started one: “Saving Myself For Marriage”.

Sow a seed to this ministry. You will surely be rewarded! God bless you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

If you’d like to get coaching for relationships, career, life, learning to set boundaries, etc. please send me a message!

Stop Faking Fine- How To Be Yourself And Be Emotionally Vulnerable

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Adam and Eve were not ashamed. And they were naked. They were vulnerable, they did not know sin, they did not know shame.

But then sin came, oh no we’ve done something wrong, we have a fear of being judged. 

Today I realized that I was numb in my heart because I was suppressing feelings of pain. I felt pain because everytime I go to Taiwan I try to connect with my dad but then when I come back to America it’s a disconnect, it’s like I don’t even exist. Before I didn’t talk to or see my dad for 10 years. 

Brene Brown talks about how the most evasive betrayal is not cheating, but neglect. Neglect and the silence.

That disconnect created a pain in my heart that increased by the day, but I didn’t realize I was feeling this. So God brought father figure divine appointments into my life, some were in Mexico, some that I met in LA, some on the airplane. They were all male figures comforting my heart. God brought father figures throughout my whole life.

I felt more and more depressed as I lay there after watching a show’s live taping today.

The issues:

  1. A family that was searching for the grandma who abandoned her son. The son had depression and killed himself.

As I watched my heart started to feel immense pain and I started crying. 

Growing up I tried to be perfect in my mother’s eye, I didn’t want to be a burden as she was already stressed out as a single mother.

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So I became the model citizen. I got good grades, excelled in school, won awards, I was a first chair cellist, I was a youth leader, I was esteemed but deep down no one noticed I was actually depressed. I had a sorrow in my heart I could not express and no one asked.

I took care of my own emotional needs through achievement, busy-ness, and when I was tired of striving, masturbation.

Since I could not feel anything emotionally, and I did not want to feel pain I learned how to feel emotions through physical gratification. I was very young and often neglected by my mother, left alone at the age of 5 inside a house by myself. I found that I could grind on my pelvis and I would feel good.

Later my mother told me that she had to put me in a worker’s storage room so she could work and that from 0-1 years old I was raised by my nanny. I started to feel like a ghost, a living body with no soul. No one to connect to.

But when I was 12 years old I felt God’s love and accepted Jesus into my heart. I started to be guided by Him and I felt His love when I could feel nothing else. And yet….church was another thing, they encouraged PERFORMANCE over CONNECTION.

They encouraged us to perform, thinking that if we performed well people would see Jesus in us. They used theology, they used books, but what people really needed was to feel love. They used rules and regulations. There was no grace.

I felt unloved and more over, I was encouraged to PERFORM.

And so PERFORM I did. I performed and achieved in church.

And I was exhausted.

So striving became my default because when you’re busy there is no time to feel. And when you have no time to feel, you don’t have to feel the pain in your heart.  The world is that way, full of busy noises, always being entertained, always going somewhere, always achieving, full of noise. 

No one wants to feel pain.

Very few people are honest about what they’re feeling and more people are ashamed to be who they are fully. Maybe they’ll sit behind a screen and criticize other people online or they’d rather gossip than confront that person.

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And that’s the worse thing about some churches is that they shame people for being imperfect. 

A lot of churches don’t talk about issues like sex, masturbation, pornography, addictions, drugs, depression, sexuality in general. When I asked two female leaders at my church what sex felt like they said “we will tell you when you’re about to get married”.

One of my best girl friend found her dad’s sex tape one time and became a porn addict. She watched porn for 8 hours a day. She became self conscious and insecure about her looks.

Why should I be ashamed to be honest?

I have nothing to hide. I’ll say the words penis and vagina out loud, I will talk about whatever I want.

If you are fake your whole life you’ll never meet people who will love you for who you are.

I see tons of prophets who show forth an image of perfection like they have no problems, they smile and wear nice dresses. I’m so tired of fake people. 

God didn’t anoint me or choose me because I’m perfect. God chose me because I trust in His grace alone that made me whole.

The other day someone asked me “how do you know you are anointed”. I started to explain and stopped. “Why do I have to explain myself to you?”

I’m a recovering emotional detached person. I had shingles when I was 14 because I was stuffing all the stress inside my heart. I didn’t tell people about my single mother’s anger issue, my mother told me not to tell people my parents are divorced.

I became two-faced. I became the overachiever who took care of her own emotional needs. I read erotica to ease the pain in my heart or I gossiped about other people. Everyone came to me for help and I liked it. But I wasn’t loving myself, and I didn’t know how to ask for help.

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I dated a guy who was emotionally absent. He would disappear for days and I found myself having emotional affairs with other people. He didn’t want to get close to me emotionally so I found other avenues.

But I was also emotionally detached, because it was safe to be with another emotionally absent person. That way I wouldn’t get hurt right?

No, I did get hurt. Love is love, you’ll experience pain no matter what. Stop trying to be perfect. Open your heart and just TELL IT LIKE IT IS. You are sad, say it. You are angry, say it. You feel like someone is being fake, tell them. It’s blunt but it’s the truth and the truth will set you free, even if it’s harsh.

So how do I overcome emotional detachment in this season:

  1. Opening my heart and talking through the issues with my friend.
  2. Creating videos and talking about how I feel
  3. Writing
  4. Telling God how I feel.

And most of it is a lot of anger.

God why did you abandon me?

God why did you allow this to happen to me?

God why do I always become friends or chase people who don’t give back to me?

God help me break this negative cycle.

God help me to open my heart.

God help me to forgive.

God I can’t do this anymore. This heart thing.

What’s appropriate? What’s taboo? Why don’t you lift off the veil of pretend and try being honest? 

Are you tired of BS? Why don’t you be honest for twice in your life? 

GIVE TO THIS MINISTRY-

Thank you for your contribution. May the Lord bless you abundantly! My vision is to see people be who they truly are, with no shame or guilt, knowing that they are enough in God’s eyes. 

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