Choose God’s Path

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A word on my spirit. Someone out there is choosing the easier and more comfortable route but God is asking you to step out in faith. It’s not an easy word to deliver because no one likes to be uncomfortable but God’s intention is to grow you.

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You don’t have to suppress your desires anymore

I had a dream I was at my fashion design graduation and I had no idea what to design but an idea came for wearable art and before I knew it I was packing up my box. I also saw free champagne and cake. I asked for a glass but they couldn’t find one. Finally I found a hologram Colored one and poured a bunch of lime green colored champagne into my glass. I was surprised that I wanted to drink so much since I hadn’t drank in ages. The glass suddenly cracked and broke.

The Lord spoke to me when I woke up. He said that most people drown out their desires by watching television or drinking, or shopping, eating, sex, etc.

It’s instant gratification.

When we’ve been in seasons of waiting or prolonged delay, we feel that it’s God’s heart to deprive us of things. We start believing we need to suffer to earn God’s blessings.

And when we do receive it we don’t believe we deserve it or that God will take it away.

I went through years of being stripped away of everything. Because those things were places of slavery. I was a slave to what my friends thought of me, what my mom thought of me. I was a slave to my rent and my car bills. I was a slave to societal standards.

When Jesus said “sell everything and follow me” He didn’t mean that He would never bless me and that He wanted me to live like a beggar. He simply meant “if you give everything up, I shall give you true power. You will no longer be a slave to society and you will no longer define yourself by what you have”. However because I will no longer be a slave to the blessings, God will pour out His blessings because He knows as freely as I received as freely I will give.

So all of it is a season of testing.

The more you are able to release, the more He will bless you. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. He won’t give you above what you can handle.

He wants us to live without fear and following Jesus has helped me to overcome fears I didn’t think I have.

Things God freed me from:

A fear of men and what they think of me- approaching strangers to pray for them. I experience tons of negative reactions. But the more I’m rejected the more I seek refuge in being a daughter of God.

A fear of lack- sometimes not knowing how I’ll eat or pay for accommodation but trusting God and following His instructions to get the provisions I need instead of figuring it out on my own.

A fear of death- knowing that God has my back and His angels are watching over me.

God said to me “you deserve to have what you want, you deserve to be happy”.

“But Lord I suffered so much loss, how can I have what I want?”

“What is it you want?”

“A family. A sense of connectedness with friends and family. Restoration of my family. I want to come out from under the weight of pain and live freely from the past. I don’t just want to help other fulfill their dreams, I want to see my own fulfilled. I want to write tv shows, direct films, design clothes, write books, speak to people on stages, I want to help others through my own dreams.

I want to have the energy to dance again, to run again. I want to experience vitality in my body. It’s been such a long and hard process. I’ve helped thousands of people but I want it for myself too. I want my own family.”

What are your desires? God wants to fulfill them.

You May have been a long and difficult wilderness of delayed desires but God wants to give you what you want. You might be asking why you had to go through all of that but He is saying “now you can contain it- what true power looks like”.

You can not contain God’s power without being a vessel emptied of fear, shame, self hate, condemnation and guilt.

You were a slave; now you are free.

Only a free man/woman can love without manipulating the family God brings to him/her.

Only a free man/woman can have riches and not be a slave to it.

Only a person who knows they are children of God can have worldly success and not allow the fame and worldly power get to his/her head.

Only a person who has gone through the fire can he/she resist the temptations that the next level presents to him/her.

God built you in the fire because otherwise you’d be knocked down by the devil right when God brings your husband, the money, or the family.

God knows the devil will try to destroy your reputation when the fame comes. He knows you couldn’t withstand the accusations back then, but now you know who you are in Christ Jesus. He knew you were ashamed to be called Christian back then, but now you only preach Jesus crucified and resurrected.

The devil could have wiped you out with one accusation from your family, you would’ve been talking about it for one month, maybe a year.

But now you know who you are in Christ Jesus. You know not to get caught up in the devil’s trap. You won’t allow your mouth to speak negatively.

Back then, the devil brought good looking men/women to you and it was easy to sidetrack you. You were easily seduced by flattery and a sign of wealth but now you know a wolf from a true sheep and follower of Jesus.

I’ve met enough wolves to know what a true man of God looks like now!

One look, one sentence, I can tell what a man’s heart is after!

A man after God’s heart may not have luxury cars but they have a heart that will follow God at all costs.

Back then you were so broken you spent your whole paycheck on binge drinking. Now you’ve learned to sow into God’s kingdom and to treat yourself well without needing to hurt your body.

Now you know you are worthy because Jesus paid the price for the blessings so I decree and declare –

You will have what you want! Because your number one delight will always be Jesus Christ!

You will never leave your first love even if the blessings come!

So I prophesy all the things you want rain down! The family, the friends, the finances, success in your business, etc.

This time you will not leave Jesus out.

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you”.

I gave everything up to follow Jesus and in return, He has brought incredible kingdom minded friends. People sowed and continue to sow into this kingdom work of bringing Jesus to the nations. Even though it has been really difficult at times, I know in my weakness His strength is made perfect.

These times strengthen my faith.

God is a good Father and even when we don’t understand it, His desire is to bring us to a wholeness that can contain what He desires for us.

A broken vessel allows the fragrance of Jesus to seep through to others.

You need to be broken to have a genuine love for people. I love homeless people on another level because I understand how it feels to go without. I love the hurting because I know how it feels to hurt. I love the wounded because I’ve been wounded.

God is calling us out of the past and into the new season.

Will you grab His hand and walk forward? The new door is open for you! Don’t look back anymore!

The fire and wilderness trained you to see the real from the fake. I’ve battled spirits of witchcraft, accusation and intimidation. I can spot a guilt trip from a mile away. I can sense danger and an angry spirit. I know when to engage and when to walk away.

I know when someone’s ready for help or when they are sent by the devil to distract me!! I know what false responsibility feels and looks like!

I know how much to help someone and when I need to set boundaries. I’ve trained my whole life! Ever since I was born into a broken home, ever since I saw divorce in my family, a mother who became unforgiving and bitter, I know what holding onto a grudge results in!

I know I used to carry false responsibilities thinking they were mine to carry! I know my worth now!

I know what the religious spirit and obligation looks like! I know what guilt feels like! I know the difference between “should” and “want”! God wants us to live in want! Not should’s!

I’ve been set free from the bondage of religion and into true sonship with Jesus, an intimate relationship not based on works but grace!

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A Life With No Plan B

A Life With NO Plan B

Every upgrade and levels in our life requires a TRANSITION PERIOD/SEASON. I know, most of us hate waiting. We want things instantaneously.

There are days I trust God, I can rest in His grace, I know He is able…but there are days I can’t get my mind off of what’s not happening, or on my current circumstances. When that happened this morning, I was reminded to worship. I realize I was focusing more on the circumstances instead of Jesus. 

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13 

Joseph Prince said “when we start to SEE, that’s when we lose faith”, because we are SEEING with earthly eyes and not on what GOD is doing. We live by FAITH and not by SIGHT.

I’ve walked this NO PLAN B journey with God after I graduated from COLLEGE and quit my full time job. I went backpacking in Australia for 2 months, when I got back I sold jewelry, I lived the hippie life in Silverlake. I went from one LEVEL to ANOTHER.

I felt His calling, GO, and I would GO. I went to Ecuador, Brazil, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore…I went without a plan B, often times fearing that I would be stranded without financial provisions, but somehow it would work out. I would meet the people I was meant to meet.

Plan A was this, trust God, Go with GOD, and BE God’s light wherever I went. 

Was it scary, hells YES.

But each time I trusted Him to bring me through, I would see more of His love and character. God is unchanging- He will bring you through the storms of life just to show you that He is not MAN that He should lie. You are untouchable when you have God with you. 

Abraham was told to leave his father’s house and go to a land that God would show him.

Ummmm….which land? How?

That’s what we would ask, or I would ask…..but through God’s leading in the last few years I realized, I never really knew where I was going until I got to the “land” before the next “land”.

For example, I lived in Pasadena for a few years, but then He told me to sell everything and follow Him. Then He said “Hawaii”, so I went to Hawaii for 2 weeks. Then when I got back, I didn’t feel led to tell my friends and family I was back…so I was at a hotel with my one backpack, and I called my friend “I have no idea where I am going”. I was scared because even though I enjoyed my time in Hawaii, it was like Now what?

She said, “you can stay with me”.

Then I was there for a week, two weeks, a month, a few months.

Then I packed up everything again, this time Thailand was fiercely on my heart, it had been for a year. I went with $1000, with no return ticket.

This time, God would whisper a “land” after my work was done in one “land”. Vietnam, He would say. I couldn’t control anything really. But then I would meet a missionary, or a new friend, and it was like Kismet. It was encouraging when I met these divine encounters, that’s when I knew I was at the right place at the right time. I was there for them and vice versa.

Then eventually I ran out of cash, and somehow I would survive, even if it was with a credit card I didn’t know would work, I survived. Even if it was selling my tablet at some sketchy stall in Malaysia, it paid for a week of my prison cell sized room. Even if it was holy spirit arranging me to help a new bed and breakfast with social media in exchange for room and board.

But it wasn’t really about that. It was learning to TRUST GOD, to go with God and to know that God was with me. 

Are you willing to go into the unknown without a plan b?

It is scary as hell.

Truthfully, He was showing me “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added onto you”….but more importantly….

“I’m reliable, I’m your God, I’m your best friend” and through all this I grew closer in intimacy with the creator of the world. In Bali, Indonesia, I got into a moped accident in my eagerness to be like the author of Eat, Pray, Love….I ended up spending a week in bed. I was alone and my foot felt like it was rotting. I had a hard time showering….

But who was enough for me, Jesus was.

So whatever you are going through, hold on. He is close to your heart. Reach out to the perfect God who loves you. Cry, sing, be vulnerable with Him. He will provide the rest you need.

We often try to control what we think we need in order to feel safe. That can be our income, our living situation, our career, our friendships, our relationships….but truthfully, if you have Jesus, you can be in the worse situation and feel peace. 

It’s definitely worth trying- it’s a “risky” way to live, following Jesus, but you will find out…it’s riskier to rely on the things of this world because there is no peace in it.

So what is God calling you to do? It may just be to trust Him and wait for His timing. It may be to go without knowing where. It may be something else.

A lot of people reply to my stories “omg I would never be able to do that! I would never be able to travel alone and sometimes with no money?!”

Well, I don’t know what to say, but it’s because of Jesus, just Jesus. 

Walking In Faith Always Requires A New Level Of Trust

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(Catba Vietnam)

Whenever a new challenge comes my way and I have doubts and feelings of lack, I remember how God delivered me.

For one, as I was walking home, I thought about how whenever God called me to something, I never actually had the finances or resources for it. It required faith and trust and follow through. I had to obey and walk through the steps. I don’t know why God has given me this kind of faith or why He has required it from me, but maybe because I was born into situations that required me to have faith.

When I went to Thailand I had a one way ticket and $1000. The paycheck I was “relying” on never came through and as much as I chased down that client, I had to learn to let it go and forgive him. 

I would hear a country, a city, and go. One way tickets. There were times I pretty much ran out of money and then something would show up like the idea of selling an old tablet, which afforded me one week at a 10′ by 5′ prison celled size room.

Or how I would be dancing at a bar and a Vietnamese lady would offer to pick me up at the train station the next day and I would learn about their lives while I lived with her.

Or how I would forget but randomly mention my blog and be offered rooming for my marketing and writing skills.

But at the end of the day, God always called me to people.

He never showed me exactly what would happen, but He would tell my heart to trust Him. And I would be petrified, but I would walk forward, trusting that I wouldn’t be stranded on an island.
And that has almost happened too.

But then I’ll be eating my last $2 and then a group of travel agents would join me and ask me to drink with them. And then somehow I would become friends with people I would have never met if I wasn’t out there eating alone at Catba Island, Vietnam.

MY life is full of stories like this.

And so when I am feeling challenged, I would remember, God did this and that….and I would never fail to be in awe once again.

So whatever new challenge you are facing today, remember how God delivered you then and how our whole life is a series of trusting for the next level. 

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My couchsurfing host in Hanoi, now a sister.

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Saigon, Vietnam

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Biking in Melaka, Malaysia

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Dancing at the temple, Melaka, Malaysia

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Catba Islands, Vietnam

Ecuador, My Life In The Jungles- The Sequel 1

This day brings into remembrance of my time in Ecuador. I wrote about my first leg of the trip on Kiss From The World but of course, time and perspective holds even more colorful stories.

As I lay in bed trying to go back to sleep because it’s 7am on a Saturday, I suddenly saw myself on a truck riding to the jungles of Tena. My mind replayed my trip in vivid details as if to remind me of all the adventures I’ve had in my life. For some reason, people accuse me of my inexperience and youth because I look young….but if they heard what I’ve been through. But it’s really none of their business.

So here goes.

Backpacking solo as a women.

  1. Do research, but don’t RESEARCH TOO much. Don’t ask too much of other peoples’ opinions. It was my first time backpacking in a “3rd world country”. My last backpacking trip before Ecuador was Australia. I asked a few Asian women and was filled with more fear than excitement. My boyfriend at the time gave me pepper spray and told me to hold onto it at all times. My experience was contrary to those opinions…I met the kindest, most welcoming people I have ever met.

A kind man offered to help me translate, my Spanish was quite broken. I finally arrived at a local hotel, it was $10 a night with 2 beds. One for me, and one for my backpack. The plastic walls separated me from the grandma who owned the hotel and was watching some drama. I could see the technicolor bouncing to my wall, as if to welcome me. My bed sheets were thin and crinkled from the 1970s and hot red florals covered my second bed. Please excuse the quality, I don’t think I had an Iphone back then.

My days in the city of Tena was a blur but after visiting my sponsored child, I roamed the streets and attempted to eat street food without getting sick. I was successful. Ecuadorian salsa is BUENO. Almost as good as Mexican salsa out here in LA. They also love animal innards, and as a Taiwanese person, I could get with that, no problemo.

I decided to visit the jungles, there was another $10 hotel over there. I asked my new buddy whether he wanted to go with me. He was hesitant as he was very American, even though Ecuadorian American…and also he had gotten robbed once at an Ecuadorian bar. Oh I meant, he got roofied and robbed, and woke up in the bushes without his Iphone or wallet. So he was pretty petrified at the thought of going with a strange Asian woman to another city hours away.

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First we were to wait in front of my hotel for a yellow taxi. We waited. 1 hour, 2 hours. Wow. Okay, we called a few times and finally taxi came.

Second, we were dropped off at a bus station where tons of people played volleyball or was it basketball, I can’t remember. Now, we were transported into a truck but we had to wait for the tour guide. Now, this was another hour or so.

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The trip took 2-3 hours, riding on dirt, rocks and rickety paths. Towards the end, we were pretty much off-roading and the sky was getting dark. We finally parked and the tour guide took out his flashlight. In these photos I think they were carrying gas into the hotel.

We walked into the jungle and I thought “that’s it, I’ve met my time of death”. (No, actually I was a lot more positive back then since I was young and inexperienced (LOL)). A huge castle jungle house appeared before my eyes.

I was in heaven.

The individual rooms were not fancy, but it was enough. Mosquitoes roamed around me as I quickly sprayed myself. The bathrooms had concrete gray walls and straw walls surrounded me in the bedroom. All I could hear was birds, bugs, snakes and whatever else was out there. I could feel my soul spreading into the jungle and saying hi to each creature. I was becoming one with the earth. 

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The one part of the jungle that had reception was on this outdoor patio on the second floor. You had to put your phone on one point of a statue.581041_10151770635875603_255176119_n

The next day, I was expecting my friend to be there but after some looking and asking, I found out he had left. YEP, I am not kidding. My new friend left the jungles early in the morning, I think he was SO scared by the whole journey that he decided to leave. 

And yes, he was a male person. And yes, I am a female. And it just so happened I was the only person staying there. So I had a whole castle to myself. SO please LORD, do not judge people based on gender.

“hey what the fuck? you left?” -me on the phone.

“yes, well my mom needed me for something, so I had to leave right away”

“oh okay, whatever. Have fun!”- me

So my friend for the next few days was the tour guide, who I was not paying because I did not want to go on a tour. However, as a friend he still showed me a few things like how to cut down cocoa.

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He had escaped from a life of American gang -hood to live in the jungles. He saw friends get shot, and the most horrific of all, children being trafficked in crates. There was nothing he could do about it because he could get gunned down right there and then. This was no Narcos, this was real life. Then we talked about Jesus and I showed him how to hear from Him directly. Jesus and gangsters all in one day.

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To be continued…..

Prague: The Great

Prague: 2014 

I rode a Euro Bus to Prague, this was an overnight bus from Berlin. We were startled by the bus as it jerked to avoid a ramp, the Polish girl next to me claimed that Polish drivers are reckless (as they get paid shit) and that the driver is probably drunk. I’m not scared. However, when we first got on the bus we were scared because there was the probability that the bus driver wouldn’t let us use the bathroom. I had to make this gesture of wiping my down there since the bathroom didn’t have toilet paper. The driver spoke no English and waved his hands “NO NO NO bathroom”. My bladder is my first concern when I get on buses that have no toilets. “Where am I going to pee?” is my first question when I board a bus.

I don’t drink liquids hours before a long bus ride…like in Thailand and Vietnma the buses don’t have toilets and you have to ask the bus driver to stop for a toilet break. Of course few people ask out of embarrassment.

I arrive around 5am in the morning, my 4 wheel duffel bag from Target reluctantly gets on a tram as I pull it with great difficulty (should have stuck with a backpack). Mind you, one of the zippers had already broken at my first destination (London).

The night is dark, and even though I often have doubts and fears, I have to get to the hostel first (this is my first instinct of survival when I’m traveling). A Czech lady helps me to the hostel, actually she walks me there. My first impression- a good one, they are kind here, they help strangers.

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Hidden Gem of Malaysia- Melaka D’Riverside Inn

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Malacca (also spelled Melaka) is a Malaysian state on the Malay Peninsula’s southwest coast. The capital, Malacca City, has a colonial past seen in its preserved town center, the site of 16th-century, Portuguese St. Paul’s Church. It’s also home to Christ Church, built by the Dutch in the 18th century and converted to the Anglican denomination under British rule in the 19th century.”- Google

Over the last month, I’ve been analyzing and regrouping what I want my website to be, I want to stay completely authentic to my vision because it is my business and life!

Well, when I was in Southeast Asia, I felt led to visit Malaysia after a month in Vietnam. I was at Hanoi at the moment and basically had nothing booked. I managed to be my own booking agent and found 2 flights connecting in Bangkok, which would save me approximately $50 since I was booking a day before. Here’s a tip, any flight coming out of Bangkok will be cheaper since Bangkok has such a large airport (flights are cheaper!). 

I spent a week in Kuala Lumpur at a bed and breakfast and proceeded to look up buses to the next city. I had never heard of Melaka, but the pictures looked old world, vintage. I was the only one in the van. I stayed at the most expensive hotel since I had nothing booked and really needed to recharge (after walking around the whole city with a broken luggage). Later, I remembered Discovery Cafe and Hostel, a bright dutch looking building. I walked over with my heavy backpack and I guess mentioned I had a blog, but TOTALLY forgot about it.

Anyways, the manager approached me and asked if I wanted to write about a new hotel they had opened up. IT WAS SUCH A GEM, with such love and history by the owner David.

D’Riverside Inn – click here to visit the site! 

 

This boutique hotel is a 3 level beauty tucked away just half a minute walk to the peaceful river of Melaka.

Why is this hotel different from any other? The colors are vibrant, every antique and vintage beauty is from David (the owner’s collection). The hotel has character, is built from the heart of the owner, and sparks nostalgia in any visitor’s hearts.

The color scheme is inspired by Greece with white, red and sky blue. In 1999, Discovery Hotel was a 3 story building with a cafe. An Aussie suggested “why not have rooms?”, from that day on, the business has expanded to hostels across the cafe, and of course D’Riverside Inn, the unique boutique it is today.

ROOMS- there are single bed rooms, duplexes that fit 1-6 people. There are only 9 hotel rooms in this boutique hotel and it is catered towards families, solo travelers, friends and colleagues. You can even book the WHOLE hotel if you have a company of people. The architecture of this hotel is meant to build community, friendship, and ease for travelers. The first floor is functional and easy for grandparents that have trouble climbing stairs. There is a cute garden on the top floor where I would write in my journal. 🙂

David is a self proclaimed china-man whose grandparents immigrated to Malaysia. He worked for a travel publisher for 18 years and came to love the world of travel. Not only is he owner of Discovery Cafe and Hotel, his business is a family one. I had the opportunity to stay at D’Riverside Inn for more than a week and felt like a queen in my own palace.

The staff also welcomed me with open arms. After traveling for two months already, I was worn out and felt home sick, but I regained energy and peace again in Melaka. In fact, I felt like I had been adopted to a Malaysia family. Some staff were from Philippines, some from various countries, but I always felt at home.

Below: These amazing rides that takes you around town and plays any music you want. 2. Dancing with ladies at a temple. 3. Eating with the family, did I mention MALAYSIAN FOOD IS AWESOME?!!!! THE FOOD IS RIDICULOUSLY GOOD. Seafood especially.

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Christ Church

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Beautiful Mosque by the sea

Visit the website at http://www.d-riversideinn.com/

https://www.facebook.com/driversideinn/

 

 

Why I’m Done Backpacking 

I am not done traveling, no way -I still have 175 countries to go. But I’m done with the backpackers lifestyle. I will still travel solo with a backpack, but as for sharing a room with 10 people? I think I’m done. 

Why? 

1. I’m a clean freak. I know, I have issues with stepping on floors that aren’t clean and need to either have socks on or have carpet. Concrete with dirt freaks me out. 

2. I’m a clean freak #2- at hostels if you’re paying $3 a night, and sharing bathrooms with 10 people, you usually won’t have 5 star hotel standards. I’m tired of smelling other people’s shit. 

3. Having stayed at 5 star hotels in Southeast Asia, I can say I much prefer a quiet room with cable and a big bed to myself versus hearing people snore or rude people blasting music at 11pm.

4. I’m done getting drunk- maybe I’ve really hit the old age mark, but I’m done getting hit on by lonely backpackers…and I am a woman now, I don’t need attention from men,  I know what I want in my potential spouse…and it’s definitely not a man who gets drunk every night. 

5. I’ve become more introverted and prefer to spend my time with either positive people or myself. 

That means I won’t compromise my values just to be with people. 

6. I love to dance and I’m social but again, I have standards now…and if it’s not with like minded people, I’d rather choose other activities. 

7. I’m a nomad not because I always love to be on the move, but because I like variety and challenge. Most people don’t like change, but when there’s not enough change or what I call growth in life- I get restless. So the last 3 months I’ve gotten to see the world, and I’ll be reconnecting with family and friends for a few more months, but I’d like to be stationed near the beach in LA.

  
I’d like to create like I used to, alone under a table, in a fantasy world. Where my heart is calm and not constantly responding to the needs of hungry souls. 

I’m a quiet soul. 

Calm soul. There’s lots of joy in here but I prefer quiet. I prefer ocean waves and hot coco to beligerent drunkenness without class. 

  

I’m a lady with a sense of humor who loves order in my closet, cleanliness in my dishes, quiet and dark at night, passion in my relationships, privacy, oh privacy in my life. 

That means living in a quiet town with deep conversations and wine, lager and laughter with 3-5 friends instead of 20 people. I cherish intimacy and loyalty, not superficiality. 

I spent 5 nights at a hotel while I was healing from my moped accident and that was the most peaceful time I had in 3 months. 

I was alone and I probably said 30 words max a day. “Can I order the soto ayam?” Yes room service.

I think I was always an introvert with a sensitive soul, but people liked me so much they made me an extrovert. 

But now even if people like me, I realize I don’t have to like them or even respond to their friendliness….not to be mean, but just to guard my heart from their over- dependency on others. 

So if you’ve seen the 5 star life I think I can live that life, a life that is luxurious, private and where people will treat me like a human being instead of asking me “where are you from?” 

That’s none of your business. 

Just call me miss and I’ll converse if I feel like it.  

Side note/ I have met amazing friends through staying at hostels or guest houses. That I am grateful for. Just in case you’re wondering I spent half my trip living alone in a private room.  

How I Unchained Myself From the Golden Handcuff

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I imagined the stilness of the air, empty space in a country house

Light flooding the house, still, that’s how I see my whole being

Thoughts invading, what if, what happens if, what about….and all the questions of can I really trust the universe to have my back?

I walked to the post office the other day…standing at the counter and have a small anxiety episode – I wanted to make sure every single document was filled out for my passport renewal. The past year has been letting go of everything that I’ve ever known…that I built my life on (and thought would make me happy, but didn’t).

I had the whole life going on, I had my own place, the car, the independence….but it was just a golden handcuff. The more I had, the more financially drained I was. I was no longer creating, I was tied down, chained to the very things that I thought made me LOOK LIKE I had it together. In reality, I felt alone, sitting in my apartment….trying to avoid nosy neighbors and having no one to talk to but the occasional skype calls and coffee with friends.

I was no longer creating great work because of an overflowing abundance of the heart, but out of financial obligations.

As Toure Roberts says “DON’T WHORE OUT YOUR TALENTS”.

It felt like I was simply stretching myself thin to cover the costs of living a lie. I was no longer inspired to create just to create…whether to create amazing art, wander the world or to come into inspiring truths.

I mean I’ve been self-employed for almost 4 years coming up in July. How have I managed to do it? You can get the book here: http://www.rebekkalien.com/lovemoneywork…the workbook part will help you to clarify “your vision”. I wrote this book after a few months of breaking up with a long term ex. I thought my life was heading a certain path. We had different visions of what we wanted our lives to look like. I didn’t want to just settle in a big 5 million dollar house and be a wannabe yoga, soccer mom, housewife…no, I wanted something more. I knew that I would travel a lot, speak around the world and travel the world….and be wildly successful.

But I didn’t see myself sitting at home wishing my life was more.

And this is me being completely honest, spilling my honest truth to you because I’m glad I came into this discovery at the age of 27. At the age of 23, I already knew I was not meant to be at a 9 to 5. 

I knew it was death to my soul.

People ask me how I know….I know because I know myself deeply and what does not vibe with me, does not belong in my life. 

Is the path easy?

Nope.

In fact, I’ve decided to live almost completely possession free, a mobile lifestyle.

That means I prize:

1. My authenticity, peace and heart above all things.

2. Love, connection and people

3. Freedom and joyful experiences, the art of cherishing each moment is vital.

More than:

1. Stability

2. Caring what people think. Because I don’t GIVE a fuck and because when we live our dreams, we are giving other people permission to dream too.

3. Material possessions as an indicator of my success

Are you with me?

Or is this too crazy?

xoxo BEX – http://www.Rebekkalien.com/lovemoneywork

Writing From Rome – Thoughts on Being 26 & Living My Dream Life

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I’m sitting in a bed (I haven’t exactly slept on a real bed for 12 days) writing this blog post. The sun is reflecting the old rugged building and I’m staring at one of the most beautiful cities on earth, Rome.

I’ve made it, I’m here. I managed to couchsurf for the last 12 days in Paris due to the kindness of a stranger and I’ve been to more cities than I could imagine. I’m living my dream life. Did I think I would be living like this when I was a teenager? I knew I did not want to be like any of the church members I grew up with, don’t get me wrong, I am still close friends with some of them..but I mean the young adults (the ones that got stable jobs and got married, and then had 3 kids). I’m all for it if that’s what you want, but I knew that I wanted something more than that. I’m not saying that I don’t want to get married or have kids, but that’s not all my life is about. I’m also not belittling the dream of stability, but I also know that stability is not in a “stable” job or a 401k.

To me, stability is within ourselves. It’s in a higher being, it’s in becoming one with the spirit, it’s about entering into a deeper relationship with the one who created the whole earth.

My life is about making an impact in this world, becoming someone truly significant, truly phenomenal, truly groundbreaking. It’s about feeling alive and embracing every moment. 

Sometimes I forget I’m only 26. I’ve tried so many things in my life that I forget there’s no rush to accomplish more, that whatever I do, I’ve already won because I’m only competing against myself…and the higher meaning is to embrace and live every single moment.

Stability? I don’t have that yet, not in the world’s eyes. But stability in the spirit? Yes, and the great thing is that even when the world keels over and the banks are destroyed, I’m stable because if God is for me, what and who can be against me?

Did I imagine that I’d be sitting here in Rome, hearing the traffic of the bustling city? No.

But I did imagine myself flying around the world, wearing my fashionable bag and outfit, feeling very powerful and in tune with myself. I left my stable 9 to 5 job in July 2011 to be the adventurous, entrepreneurial woman that I am. I still recall people popping 3 pain killers a day to kill the pain within. People cling onto worldly stability but the only stability is our sanity, is our inner peace. 

You see, the only way to be happy is to see that you are unique in the eyes of God and that you have a higher purpose in this life. Until you find out who you really are, answer the calling of being the magnificent person you are and connect it with all the talents and skills you already have, you’ll feel miserable trying to fit into other peoples’ box of what you should be and what you should do. 

A few years ago, I told myself, I’m totally the girl version of Tony Robbins. I also told people I was Asian Oprah. You see, most people get really frustrated because they don’t see enough progress. Progress takes time, every day at a time. It can take 30 years, 40 even for you to see fruition of your ideas. When I wrote my ebook, I knew it wasn’t the best that it could be, but it was magnificent enough for people to learn from. I knew I wasn’t as good as a speaker as Oprah, but I knew I was good enough, and that if I practiced, I’d be just as good….with the help of the spirit. 

Everyday you are simply learning who you really are– people like to tell you otherwise, but everything you have within you is ENOUGH, more than enough to manifest your dream life and complete happiness. It’s all within you. You were born with it. 

I left everything the world called stability. I didn’t have health insurance for 3 years, I was barely scraping by. I lost friends who didn’t understand why I was sacrificing everything to go after my vision. My family misunderstood me, called me crazy. They laughed when I said I would be Asian Oprah. Maybe I haven’t made millions, sold thousands of ebooks yet, but I sold a few, more and more….I’ve put myself out there and created workshops to help others, I’ve created courses and have seen people get healed and touched. I’m already there, I’m here. Here is all I have and I can either wait to be “successful” or I can call myself “a success” as is.

Every time I thought I couldn’t go on, another miracle happened. Days turned into months, months into years. That’s because I didn’t give up and I didn’t do it so others could like me, I did it because of a burning desire for something better, something significant, life changing. No I don’t want to live so I could retire. I want to live now. Every time I thought I was going to die broke, another idea came through and another miracle happened. When I want to give up, I look at the days, the years I’ve been able to be self-employed, the multiple streams of income I’ve been able to create without hating my life. GOSH am I lucky, am I blessed. But it took perseverance, it took vision. 

I can wait for other people to approve of me, or I can know that I am approved of and loved for who I am.

Until you come alive now, you will never feel like you are enough. You are enough, you are magnificent, brilliant, a shining star. I believe in you.

Ready to live your dream life? —-> How I was able to make money doing what I love, from humble beginnings of $60.16 selling jewelry and art to writing an ebook, living the virtual life. 
How To Make Money Doing What You Love: A Practical Guide To Starting NOW
I quit my job 3 years ago and have never gone back to 9 to 5. I share all of my hidden secrets about how I monetized and profit from my talents, skills, and hobbies. You might have fears about starting your own business or of becoming an entrepreneur, but here, for the price of a meal (in LA), get to read and learn everything I did to survive and thrive in difficult economic times, without an employer. Buying this manual will be your stepping stone to living the life you want, while making money doing it!

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What’s In Here?

  1. Work As A Conduit of Love- 5

  2. Entrepreneurs Think and Do Fast- 8

  3. Entrepreneurs Don’t Believe In Saving Face- 13

  4. How Do I Begin? – 15

  5. How Did I Do Everything I Do Now- 17

  6. Vision Exercise- 19

  7. How To Monetize Your Products and Services- 26

  8. Take Ownership Of Your Life- 29

  9. What Are Your Fears? Paper Tigers- 31

  10. Inspirational Quotes To Get Your Off Your Ass- 32

  11. Resources- 35