Lost Sheep Found

I felt like I had to get out the house. I felt in n out for some reason.

I went through drive through and kept hearing God say slow down, eat inside. So I did.

I sat down at the bar area, and kept hearing buy a house. I said how?

But then I met a man who was a real estate agent and I said he should be an actor.

Later another man came and immediately I heard “he’s a lost sheep”.

I asked what he was eating and we ended up having a similar story and background. He told me how his dad passed away a few years ago. This has been the theme in the last couple of days; I’ve already met 4 men that lost their father. And God has been using me to minister to their hearts and show them they are not orphans.

We talked for awhile about relationships and life.

Anyways I asked him for a donation and he got really defensive. So I asked him why? He said a lot of people on Facebook barely know him and ask for donations. God said ask for $1, so I did. He said he didn’t have cash.

Then I said do you feel used by people?

Yes.

I said God wanted me to push that out of you. I said I felt really used by people and didn’t want to give anymore but God opened my heart to give again.

Recently God asked me to give a large amount of money to a friend in need but I struggled with it because I didn’t believe she earned it but God showed me everything is given by grace, not by my works and that I should freely receive and not try to work for it.

When I did give I felt a release in my heart where I was able to forgive those that hurt me.

I said I’m going to a wedding salon. He said is it important that you get married, he laughed. God said ask him about that topic.

He said….well it’s because I’ve been divorced and there’s a lot going into it.

It’s more than just romance.

I layed hands on him and prayed for him. I said Jesus is pulling every arrow of death and accusation all words that have been spoken over him. I said he is enough and not lacking in God’s eyes.

I didn’t realize asking for donations actually trigger people’s insecurities.

So whatever you have an emotional reaction to it’s triggering something deeper.

I told him how my mom also yells at me but I know she loves me. I prayed and told him Jesus loves him very much.

Give-

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I Left Everything To Follow Jesus Part 2

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I don’t want to overwhelm my readers so I don’t tell the truth. But the truth is it’s been very hard. I’ve cried everyday.

Imagine doing good, following Jesus and then being misunderstood. I don’t want to dwell on it, I want to let it go but I can’t seem to. The flashbacks, the people, the words just come at me.

I sold everything to follow Jesus in 2015 and started going where Jesus led me to. I first went to Hawaii for 2 weeks and stayed with a sister there, then I came back and had no place to stay and ended up staying with another sister for 5 months. I started unofficially training people in the prophetic as I stayed with them.

In 2018, after 2 years of resting and preparing spiritually for the journey ahead (which I had no idea would look like this), I left Los Angeles and went to Taiwan. In Taiwan I thought I would stay for a year (to get to know my dad) or so but God said “keep going, now you will gather the lost sheep”. I went to Korea first and found myself waking up at 5 am to pray for backpackers that were checking out. The prophesies came in visions and words. Many were not Christian and were amazed by the words and confirmations.

I met a Muslim girl at a restaurant and I could always sense it, God would tell me “go speak to her”. Sometimes I’d be scared but eventually she crossed over to my table to get napkins. We started talking. As we were hanging out she said she had a stomachache and I asked to pray over it.

“Is it okay for a Muslim to get prayed over by a Christian?” 

I said yes of course. After laying hands on her stomach and praying for her, she noticed the pain went away, it was immediate. This opened the door for me to share my testimony.

One time I needed money to stay at the hostel for the next day and contacted a good friend of mine but she said that she was learning to be financially responsible and couldn’t help. In that moment I felt really abandoned and questioned God’s goodness. I also felt like she was blaming me for “not being financially responsible” when in fact I was simply following God’s instructions and directions. Things like this would happen on the road where I really questioned God’s direction and goodness when I felt misunderstood or rejected. 

I told her that honestly I felt like a martyr sometimes.

I compared myself to her. I said that I felt like a martyr because I was out here with a suitcase not knowing where I was going to stay tomorrow (and not having the finances to stay anywhere yet) while she was married and had just bought a house. I could imagine people back home enjoying their couch and watching netflix while I was in a hostel room with 10 other people. Why did I have to be the one to be out here reaching the lost when others were back home living their comfortable lives? It did not seem fair to me.

Yes, I admit it, I felt like a martyr. But that was also Satan using everything he could to accuse and attack me with the spirit of lack so that I felt I was lacking in some way. 

I woke up this morning thinking of all the negative things that happened and God was like “you need to write it down”. I realize I don’t talk about my experiences enough and I need to…not because I’m reciting “woe is me” stories but because somehow I find my strength in these stories. I’m not just a normal person, I’m a woman who went through hardships to follow Jesus.

Sometimes when I talk to people, I find myself unable and unwilling to talk about my experiences on the road. I feel like it will overwhelm them too much or make them feel bad for me. And I don’t want pity, I want them to know they are enough in Christ Jesus and anything is possible if they’re willing to follow Jesus.

My job is to set people free from fear, from the fear of rejection, lack and judgement, from the fear of the unknown. Because I’ve gone there and back, hell and high waters. 

When I tell them I went to South Africa with $20 in my pocket, their jaws drop. When I tell them I was on the road with my suitcase following God with $5 left and asking strangers for help while prophesying over them, they say “I would never be able to do that”.

I had to confront fear in the face. And sure it was scary. But what people fear I don’t fear much. Why? Because I’ve been through the fire. 

  1. An hour before my flight departure I was going from Bali to Perth, well apparently I didn’t have a visa. I also did not have a working phone so in that moment I had to borrow a French couples’ phone to register for an Australian e-visa. Miraculously the e-visa went through in 10 minutes.
  2. I landed in New Zealand, hoping to safely arrive at my hostel but then they said I booked the wrong dates. It’s 3 am in the morning and I’m walking around the streets with no where to stay. I visit every hotel and they are fully booked due to a festival. I end up praying for drunk teenagers. Finally I visit a hotel where the Nepalese man told me he reads the Bible and a miracle happened….he let me book a room they usually reserve for emergencies. 
  3. One night at a hostel I was hearing my roommates have nightmares. The next day 2 of the bunkmates accepted Jesus into their hearts. This was in Hong Kong. I was really pissed that I didn’t get good sleep but was praying in tongues at night. Who knew that it was because there was spiritual warfare happening because two of the girls would accept Jesus into their hearts. 

More stories to come……..

What you can do for me.

  1. Pray – pray for my heart and pray for my body to be healed of any and all traumas. Pray for the seed of the word of God to be sown deep into fertile hearts.
  2. Give- Give to the continuing work of sharing the gospel with those God calls me to reach. Funds goes towards finances that are needed for transportation, such as uber rides and food, where I usually have divine appointments. God always gives me a divine appointment on an uber ride. It has been very fruitful. Thank you for your partnership-

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I Felt Abandoned By God

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I was talking to my friend on the phone and said “I get impatient with people (I’m training) who are pioneering because when I had to pioneer, I had no one next to me, I tell people ‘at least you have me'” but I have no patience sometimes.

She said “are you angry because you had to do it alone?”

“Yes” and I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. I felt a deep pain in my heart and start crying. Yes, I felt like God abandoned me even though I was serving Him in faith and love, even though I knew He loved me and I loved Him but I went through the hardest time in my life.

Times on the road where I didn’t know if I had money for the hostel for the next day, where I had to ask people for a meal, where I had to ask for donations on the road while prophesying over them. I was like Paul, except I’ve never been shipwrecked, though I almost threw up in Samoa on a local boat. I went through times where I didn’t know where I was going to sleep and had to confront people and pray for them, then be shut down and persecuted. Times when religious people judged and persecuted me when I tried to tell them about grace or followed the holy spirit. I went through 20 countries in 1.5 years and somehow survived. 

In two weeks in New Zealand, I stayed at 14 different hostels. Each time wherever He led me, I was testifying of Jesus and the freedom of the holy spirit. I would land and God would tell me I was staying with someone but I had to rest in the fact that He already had my pillow and bed lined up for me.

He’d bring me to the lost sheep to prophesy over them, many that had huge callings.

One time in Samoa God led me change rooms. It was a late night and the 3 Japanese students next door were smoking. God told me to change rooms and I had to talk to the owner on the phone. She was an english lad. She asked me if I had a permit to be a missionary there and said she would contact the authorities. She threatened me even though she was Christian herself (but there was a religious spirit on her). 

I asked to change rooms and eventually, after 2-3 hours she let me change rooms and charged me for it. God had me go up against a religious spirit and spirit of fear.

Right before this happened God sent me to a police station to try to get wifi and this police man was actually a minister. I prophesied that he was going to preach and that he needed to quit his job.

How I managed to travel like this for 1.5 years is totally grace….because I’m still healing from all the things I went through.

Yes. I didn’t realize it but anger was still there.

God why did you allow me to go through that?

Because you were willing and able to. Because now you will train up others who will run with lions and shut demons’ mouths, now you will set even more captives free.

I was sitting at the korean spa today thinking “God I can’t go back huh? I can’t be like those normal people watching youtube videos and laughing, now I really have to live like I’m in war”.

Let me focus on love, light and hope. God let me soak in your love, show me you love me. I don’t care how, but keep showing me love because like I told my friend- I find it hard to feel emotions because I didn’t grow up with an emotionally vulnerable mother. Angry? Yes, but vulnerable, no.

I also said because my dad doesn’t talk to me so I’m not able to receive from God words of love, sometimes I don’t hear it but I can see it in my dreams, I hear it and I’m able to decree and prophesy to people, but I need to write it down or speak it in order to receive it.

The more my friend says “I love you” to me the more I’m able to hear God say it. Before His love to me was relayed through gifts, blessings, but now they’re coming through more with words. 

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A Letter To My Dad- Love Isn’t Afraid of Rejection

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“Hi Dad, I wanted to write you. I deleted line by accident when I came back and had no way to contact you. I often feel like we stop talking to each other when I come back to America, it’s like we don’t even know each other. It grieves my heart.

As much as I don’t want to feel like this, I feel like I’m often waiting for you to reply. In this way, I feel like I’m waiting for things to happen in my life. I try to make things happen as soon as possible but then God will tell me to let go of control. I’m angry that you don’t write me, it really makes me angry and sad.

I’m angry that you don’t tell me how you feel.

I know you are stressed out but because I want a relationship with you, I feel like I am trying as much as I can, but it’s always been a one way street.

Every time we get close, I leave and we no longer talk to each other. I feel like I’m back at square one.”

Today God had me approach a guy at the Korean spa. I was wondering where God wanted me to go and He told me to go to the sauna. He told me to eat with him but I didn’t want to. Later he came to comment on my food and I said I liked his hair. I said “do you want to sit with me?”

He said “no, I have a headache”.

I said “I can pray for you”, reaching out to touch his head. He said “no, it’s okay but you can pray for me from there”.

Later on, I saw him sitting near me so God told me “go sit with him” (I fought God for a few minutes) and I brought my food over, sitting right in front of him. I said “I heard God say ‘love isn’t afraid of rejection'”.

He frowned and said “Then don’t be afraid. I really want to be alone” and moved to a table far from mine.

Later on, I approached him even though I really wanted to run. I mean it’s embarrassing to be rejected right? By a stranger?

I said “I’m sorry I crossed your boundaries but you seemed like a cool person. God bless you”. He said “it’s okay”.

I felt sad that I had the answer to heal his headache and to give him a word from God but He was not willing to receive it. I’m pretty sure he was gay too, so he probably had been rejected by a lot of people in his lifetime.

God said to me “look at all those people eating alone, afraid to let people into their hearts”.

Love isn’t afraid of rejection. It will reach out and be rejected, but it will keep trying. After that I felt really tired and felt mad that God made me do that so I knocked out for about 2-3 hours to my surprise. I heard him say “let go of control”.

I cannot control if my dad will ever contact me again. The one time he actually replied in 7 months (of messaging him) was when I said “tomorrow I’m landing at 9am, make sure to pick me up”.

He said he was stressed and busy with life. 

Priorities.

What do you prioritize? Do you prioritize your work, money, ministry or the people you value in your life? Do you prioritize yourself, your well being?

Sometimes we think we need to be alone, but actually that’s a disguise for not letting people in. And we need to be loved to survive and thrive in this world. I used to feel burdened by people because I was unable to voice my opinions and needs in a relationship but I’m starting to see that those who are willing to listen and not be offended are true friends. 

I let people step on me in my earlier life and when I finally voiced my opinions it backfired. Apparently, they only liked me when I fit their description and expectation of who I should be. 

I can’t rush to change people. I can’t rush to restore everything in one day. I lost a lot in the last few years, things I’m trying to recover but God showed me when it’s time, He will do it. He led me to speak at an open mic without my knowledge, He gave me a new friend via instagram, He brought me to a concert to minister to the youth.

I have to trust God’s timing and not rush it. God I’ll let go of control. Are you willing to?

Rejection isn’t a sign of YOUR WORTH. Rejection is simply a process of life. You will be rejected by jobs, opportunities, people, but you will need to stand on the firm foundation of Jesus and know that you are ACCEPTED AND LOVED BY GOD. 

Love isn’t afraid of rejection. I heard God say “I am not afraid of rejection”.

This morning God also told me to give and then ask for donations so I did. However, everyone said no except the one girl I donated to and she sowed some money back to me as the Lord asked me to ask her to do. When I did that I realized that fear of men left me. The last few days I started to fear people’s opinions for some reason. I was telling someone about Jesus and her face contorted, as in she was offended.

It was on the uber ride home that I met an ex-jehovah witness who gave me $10, which is a lot considering the ride was $14. I was really surprised because most people said no but he actually gave. 

You never know who will say yes and today’s lesson is that you cannot be afraid of rejection. You cannot be afraid of what people think. 

I don’t take “no’s” personally anymore but I know that sometimes giving and receiving is a sign of an open heart and today Peter had an open heart. His mother passed away 10 years ago. And he gave $10. Wow. I just realized that. 

God may you heal his heart and open his heart to your love.

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How To Overcome The Fear Of People and Lack

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Here are examples overcoming the fear of people:

  1. You’re getting a massage and the pressure is not enough or it’s too much- you’re afraid to speak up and you don’t. The opposite spirit is to boldly say what you need.

Here are real life examples I’ve gone through-

  • One time I was getting a massage at an airport and the ac was blowing on my head so I was really cold. I asked to move and they said no. I asked several times until they allowed me to move. The whole room was staring at me, I could feel their thoughts. But no, I was not going to back down. The staff was probably talking crap about me, but no I was not comfortable and needed to OVERCOME the spirit of fear in that room.
  • I was in San Francisco and my neighbors were really loud, had the tv blasting so I talked to the receptionist and HE WAS AFRAID to confront the tenants so I went to each door to ask them to be quiet but some of them got really angry and started yelling. The spirit of fear CAME AGAINST ME where I was afraid to KNOCK ON PEOPLE’S DOORS BUT I DID IT because there was no way I could sleep. 
  • I was in New Zealand at a staff dorm room and one guy was really hot, I don’t know why, it was super cold at that time. I kept closing the door and finally he screamed at me and started cussing. I walked out of that room and started crying. God gave me a way out and the next day I left that hostel before my work term was over since I was there to work in trade for accommodation. I told the boss that it was a TOXIC WORK ENVIRONMENT.
  • One time I went to a Thai restaurant and the food was way too sweet. God said “ask to exchange it” so I did. The lady got really mad. Again, it was too sweet the second time so I spoke up. Again she got mad. I was courteous and polite but also firm. I came against that spirit of intimidation by SPEAKING MY MIND in love.

I HAVE THOUSANDS OF STORIES, some WAY MORE INTENSE THAN OTHERS.

What I’ve learned IS THAT I CANNOT BE AFRAID TO SPEAK MY MIND. NOT IN A MEAN WAY BUT IN A WAY THAT SAYS NO, I need to get what I want because WHAT PEOPLE THINK WILL ALWAYS TRY TO COME AGAINST YOU. 

YOU KNOW IT’S FEAR WHEN:

  1. You feel immobilized
  2. You feel suffocated
  3. You feel like you are holding back
  4. You feel like you can’t breathe
  5. You can’t speak

I BREAK OFF THE SPIRIT OF FEAR.

THE ONLY WAY TO BREAK OFF FEAR IS TO DO! DO WHAT GOD TELLS YOU! 

This morning the Lord had me give to someone then ask them to sow whatever amount back, they did. But then I heard God say do it again.

It might seem strange to some people but once I did it, I felt fear and the fear of lack (not being enough and also fear of what people think) BREAK OFF IN THAT INSTANT.

WHAT GOD CALLS YOU TO DO MAY BE STRANGE AND CRAZY BUT WHEN YOU DO IT YOU WILL BE FEARLESS! 

You know what people who MOVE TO THE NEXT LEVEL HAVE – at each level they are called to live in LESS FEAR OF PEOPLE. It’s THE CRAZY ONES that have no fear of men that actually live to their fullest potential.

Today I’m asking you to give to this ministry and be part of a FEARLESS GENERATION THAT WON’T LIVE IN FEAR BUT IN THE BOLDNESS AND FREEDOM OF Jesus Christ!

Thank you for your support and love!

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Prophetic Dream- Awaken to Your Dreams

Testimony told at an open mic

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A Homeless Prophet Finding Home

I told my friend that I didn’t feel welcomed anywhere. I was overseas ministering all over the world, impacting lives, praying over thousands of people and telling them about Jesus but when I come home all I get is yelling and accusation from my mother. I wanted to rest but I started to find myself trying to prove myself, trying to do more because her constant nagging made me feel insufficient.

I felt homeless. Like I wasn’t welcomed anywhere.

So I felt like running again when I got home (LA). I didn’t have a home. I felt like a homeless prophet. 

That has been the hardest thing for me. I wanted to go home but it didn’t feel like home. 

So I started to see how God would bring me to people who were homeless or felt like orphans. My friend said she saw me teaching the gospel to orphans and I started crying.

Bring the lost sheep home, I’ve been doing that for 2 years and the aching in my heart 💜 is when I literally can now sit next to someone and feel what they are feeling.

I was on the plane and asked this Korean man if he was okay. He said “why? do you feel something?”

“Yes, you seem very sad”.

He said “well I am 49 and when you are 50 in Korea, everything goes down hill”. Even though he was also a Christian, his mindset was culturally Korean.

I said that is not true and I said that God was his provider and that He would take care of him. He told me that he is trying to be a good Christian and I told him that in God’s eyes He is perfect because of Jesus’ sacrifice. He had tears in his eyes.

My heart is for those who feel rejected and burnt out. I met a woman in Seoul who told me that she wishes she could go home to a normal family. She feels accused of when she is home so she decided to go to Korea for one year. She was cleaning the beds in the hostel. I could feel the pain in her heart because I felt like that.

I told her the next day that she actually wanted to go home. She said “of course but I cannot, I don’t feel safe at home”.

There are so many young people who don’t feel loved and accepted by their family. Another woman on the train told me she only sees her mom twice a year because they don’t get along. She said she doesn’t want to get married and she is okay living alone. She says she never goes out. I told her how I started to tell my mother how I feel and that it’s brought release and healing to my heart.

She became quiet, she looked at me. It’s like looking into a mirror. She nodded. 

I can tell when I meet a wounded person, I can feel what they are feeling. And what will happen is that I will cry for them and with them. I know when I see a lost sheep, I know when I see someone who has been rejected. Because I am looking into a mirror. 

I have a heart for the orphans, those who feel outcasted by their own family.

I know how it feels to feel unwelcomed in your own home.

I’m learning to be open and just tell my mother how I feel.

To the lost sheep-

I have not forgotten you. I am here. I am with you.  You don’t have to do anymore. You don’t have to strive. You can rest with me. You don’t have to run, you are home with me. I love you very much, you are enough. While everyone will tell you you’re not enough, I will tell you, you are enough. Come home with me. You are home, you can rest now. 

Jesus.

https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien

Consider giving a donation to bring lost sheep home- thank you! The money goes toward transportation (as I do uber ministry), food and sometimes accomodation, sometimes God also tells me to give the money to those in need. In God’s timing I am looking for a house to have house church meetings and to live in. In this church we will welcome the spiritually weary, who are tired of trying and tired of being told what to do. In this church, people can cry and sleep, they won’t have to strive, they know they are enough and accepted in God’s eyes. Here their hearts will find rest and they will be home. I won’t talk about theology or tell people what to do, they can rest and they can find solace in God’s love. They will be welcomed by a spiritual mother, and one day a spiritual father and we will just sit and be with them. They won’t have to please us, they will find identity in Christ Jesus. 

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Breaking Off Every Fear – Body Image & Fear Of Lack

God has been breaking off every fear in my heart. I didn’t know there was so much lack (fear of not being enough) and poverty mindset in my heart.

My mom taught me to eat the lobsters at buffets and to eat until I’m full. Growing up I was often hungry because I didn’t like to eat a lot at one sitting. I wanted to enjoy what I was eating; not force myself to eat.

However because of it she would yell at me every time I got hungry and so she’d say “just eat more so you’re not hungry later”. I think it’s because she felt like she wasn’t in control whenever I complained that I was hungry.

Food became an issue for me. One time I got hit with really bad vertigo and when we went to the eastern doctor she said I needed to eat when I’m hungry as my blood sugar was low and my immune system goes down.

After that I became afraid of not eating when I’m hungry. In a sense I became afraid of hunger- which is a fear of lack.

I rested for many days but felt totally out of control. I’d go somewhere and suddenly felt dizzy. It was the worse feeling ever. I read somewhere that vertigo is the fear of falling but the desire to fall and let go.

So there are times I get hungry and I haven’t eaten for awhile but God will say it’s okay, you don’t need food.

I had hyperthyroid for a minute and I started gaining weight without eating much. I felt defeated as I couldn’t control my body no image. I felt fat and unattractive. My mother would tell me “you’re getting fat, exercise, don’t eat so much”.

God healed me when I learned that I needed to rest in his finished work, but I was still traumatized.

I found myself eating sweets growing up – I loved it but I ate it whenever I felt pain or sadness. Instead of crying, I went to boba, cake or anything sweet. It was my refuge in a sense.

I remember when I was a small child ripping through boxes of chocolate in the middle of the night at my German nanny’s house. She found me on the floor fast asleep with chocolate all over my face and mouth.

I accrued many cavities growing up.

Sometimes I ate even when I wasn’t hungry because I felt that I may get vertigo again. I was traumatized by that experience. I ate in fear to stop the past from repeating itself.

I know my mother criticizes herself too. She doesn’t like the double chin, she criticizes me. I’m writing this and crying on the taxi as I go to the airport.

I am enough. I am worthy. I am not a burden. I am enough.

I have more issues than I expected. And I hope by sharing with you you know that you’re not alone. May the Lord continue to heal you. From an unloved place to being loved.

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Will You Love Me?

Will you love me if I don’t fulfill your expectations of me?

So if I get a normal job and live a normal life then you will love me?

Or you will find something else wrong with me?

These questions popped into my mind after I called my mom and told her a dream I had. I had a dream that I told my friend I wanted to go home and she said she could help me get home financially. But then I said I don’t want to be a burden.

I had a realization that part of why I wanted to leave was because I felt like a burden to my mother. I didn’t really want to move out yet and didn’t know where I wanted to live. I had been overseas ministering for a year and a half and felt pressured to make up my mind about something.

Everyday God was bringing me to people, bringing me out of my cave. I felt forced out of my emotional cave and felt so uncomfortable.

One night I heard go to Korea.

Even now I’m wondering if it was God or me. Or whether it even matters. God is still with me and He’s been bringing divine appointments everyday.

The point is I realize it’s okay to not know what you want.

I’m okay living in between. I’m okay being enough just as I am, whatever that looks like. I shouldn’t have to settle down to be enough. I am enough now. Whether I am married now or not, whether I am doing ministry or working a normal job.

My mother makes it seem like if I live a normal life then I’d have security or peace but my security is in knowing I am a child of God.

God is my solid rock.

It shouldn’t be in our circumstances or even in moving into our promises.

The discomfort of not knowing and of the unknown forces us to look at who we are in God’s eyes versus our circumstances.

I shouldn’t have more peace when I’m in LA or another country, I am enough now and peace is within me.

I am not lacking a house, a ministry, a job, friends or family- I am enough now.

Whether people are around me to cheer me on or if they are overseas.

Whether people accept or reject me, I am enough.

My mom thinks she hurt or enabled me by allowing me to live with her when I come back to LA, but that’s not the case.

Why can’t we just be okay with the unknown? Why do we always have to figure out the next thing? What’s wrong with not knowing, not wanting, but simply being.

What’s wrong with sitting still?

What’s wrong with being?

And what’s wrong with going somewhere and realizing that I don’t really want to be here, but it’s okay.

I don’t always have to get what I want. Because I am what I want. I have what I want, it’s Jesus. It’s peace. It’s being enough.

I didn’t really know where I was supposed to go this morning and heard several things but I felt Busan so I got on the train and met a girl who had super cool ripped jeans.

I doubted myself because I had a dream that I wanted to go home but I wondered if I was simply going home because it was an easy choice but even if it’s an easy choice, isn’t it okay just because I want to?

Your desires change.

It’s ok to not want the things you wanted before.

I wanted to ask my mother those questions above.

So you will love me if I fulfill your expectations? If that’s the case you’ll never be happy.

Your happiness should never depend on other people.

I don’t know what I want completely.

I got what I wanted recently, a new phone and laptop. It made me happy. And I feel grateful for these tools, but what else do I want?

A car, to drive freely wherever I want.

I want to be loved and appreciated by those around me.

I want new clothes. I want to say what I feel at all times. I want to live with no regrets.

To not be afraid to try. I want friendships, people I can do things with and express my emotions with.

I don’t need to see new places anymore, I’ve seen enough and I’ve ministered to enough people overseas. Sure I’m still doing it but I think I’d like some privacy. I’d like a dog and some pets. I’d like a life partner I can spend time with.

I want a husband who cooks and cleans, can love me and respect me. It’s time for me.

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Divine Appointments On the Plane & Korea- Pray For Me!

I just arrived in Korea and the first day I was feeling hesitant about where I was staying. I walked out of the accommodation as I wasn’t feeling peace at first and God told me to go back. My divine appointment was an Algerian. We had similar family background and growth stories. We talked about how “just because you’re born doesn’t mean you owe your parents” which I had no idea was also in Algerian culture. I was explaining grace to her but she said grace is something so difficult to wrap your mind around.

Just now I woke up with a super crazy leg cramp. I was casting out the spirit of infirmity in Jesus name and praying in tongues.

The truth is God has been doing a deep work in my heart and sometimes I’m freaking scared. I’m scared to be vulnerable but I know God means good to me….because only in vulnerability can you grow in intimacy.

I thought I’d be in LA but God sent me out again. I was happy to minister to the people in La, there did not seem to be a lack of people who needed a word from God or needed to hear about grace.

But now, I found myself filled…..

To the brim with anointing.

This time on the airplane God sat me next to a girl who studied abroad in America. I tried to move a few times but every time someone would come to sit where I changed seats to.

Upon sharing what I do i learned she was extremely nervous about an upcoming plastic surgery. She told me how they messed up 2 times and she had an infection. She told me how others care about relationships or career, but all she cares about is getting the nose she wants.

I said that I could understand and I started to share about the grace of Jesus that frees us and shows us we are enough. I prayed that whatever she decided on that God will protect her.

The grace of God shows you that He has already taken on every blemish on the cross and you’re no longer blemished- you are whole in God’s eyes because of Jesus’ sacrifice.

Please pray that the seed would be planted in peoples’ hearts as they listen.

Divine appointments

Sow-

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