I told my friend that I didn’t feel welcomed anywhere. I was overseas ministering all over the world, impacting lives, praying over thousands of people and telling them about Jesus but when I come home all I get is yelling and accusation from my mother. I wanted to rest but I started to find myself trying to prove myself, trying to do more because her constant nagging made me feel insufficient.
I felt homeless. Like I wasn’t welcomed anywhere.
So I felt like running again when I got home (LA). I didn’t have a home. I felt like a homeless prophet.
That has been the hardest thing for me. I wanted to go home but it didn’t feel like home.
So I started to see how God would bring me to people who were homeless or felt like orphans. My friend said she saw me teaching the gospel to orphans and I started crying.
Bring the lost sheep home, I’ve been doing that for 2 years and the aching in my heart 💜 is when I literally can now sit next to someone and feel what they are feeling.
I was on the plane and asked this Korean man if he was okay. He said “why? do you feel something?”
“Yes, you seem very sad”.
He said “well I am 49 and when you are 50 in Korea, everything goes down hill”. Even though he was also a Christian, his mindset was culturally Korean.
I said that is not true and I said that God was his provider and that He would take care of him. He told me that he is trying to be a good Christian and I told him that in God’s eyes He is perfect because of Jesus’ sacrifice. He had tears in his eyes.
My heart is for those who feel rejected and burnt out. I met a woman in Seoul who told me that she wishes she could go home to a normal family. She feels accused of when she is home so she decided to go to Korea for one year. She was cleaning the beds in the hostel. I could feel the pain in her heart because I felt like that.
I told her the next day that she actually wanted to go home. She said “of course but I cannot, I don’t feel safe at home”.
There are so many young people who don’t feel loved and accepted by their family. Another woman on the train told me she only sees her mom twice a year because they don’t get along. She said she doesn’t want to get married and she is okay living alone. She says she never goes out. I told her how I started to tell my mother how I feel and that it’s brought release and healing to my heart.
She became quiet, she looked at me. It’s like looking into a mirror. She nodded.
I can tell when I meet a wounded person, I can feel what they are feeling. And what will happen is that I will cry for them and with them. I know when I see a lost sheep, I know when I see someone who has been rejected. Because I am looking into a mirror.
I have a heart for the orphans, those who feel outcasted by their own family.
I know how it feels to feel unwelcomed in your own home.
I’m learning to be open and just tell my mother how I feel.
To the lost sheep-
I have not forgotten you. I am here. I am with you. You don’t have to do anymore. You don’t have to strive. You can rest with me. You don’t have to run, you are home with me. I love you very much, you are enough. While everyone will tell you you’re not enough, I will tell you, you are enough. Come home with me. You are home, you can rest now.
Consider giving a donation to bring lost sheep home- thank you! The money goes toward transportation (as I do uber ministry), food and sometimes accomodation, sometimes God also tells me to give the money to those in need. In God’s timing I am looking for a house to have house church meetings and to live in. In this church we will welcome the spiritually weary, who are tired of trying and tired of being told what to do. In this church, people can cry and sleep, they won’t have to strive, they know they are enough and accepted in God’s eyes. Here their hearts will find rest and they will be home. I won’t talk about theology or tell people what to do, they can rest and they can find solace in God’s love. They will be welcomed by a spiritual mother, and one day a spiritual father and we will just sit and be with them. They won’t have to please us, they will find identity in Christ Jesus.
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