Will you love me if I don’t fulfill your expectations of me?

So if I get a normal job and live a normal life then you will love me?

Or you will find something else wrong with me?

These questions popped into my mind after I called my mom and told her a dream I had. I had a dream that I told my friend I wanted to go home and she said she could help me get home financially. But then I said I don’t want to be a burden.

I had a realization that part of why I wanted to leave was because I felt like a burden to my mother. I didn’t really want to move out yet and didn’t know where I wanted to live. I had been overseas ministering for a year and a half and felt pressured to make up my mind about something.

Everyday God was bringing me to people, bringing me out of my cave. I felt forced out of my emotional cave and felt so uncomfortable.

One night I heard go to Korea.

Even now I’m wondering if it was God or me. Or whether it even matters. God is still with me and He’s been bringing divine appointments everyday.

The point is I realize it’s okay to not know what you want.

I’m okay living in between. I’m okay being enough just as I am, whatever that looks like. I shouldn’t have to settle down to be enough. I am enough now. Whether I am married now or not, whether I am doing ministry or working a normal job.

My mother makes it seem like if I live a normal life then I’d have security or peace but my security is in knowing I am a child of God.

God is my solid rock.

It shouldn’t be in our circumstances or even in moving into our promises.

The discomfort of not knowing and of the unknown forces us to look at who we are in God’s eyes versus our circumstances.

I shouldn’t have more peace when I’m in LA or another country, I am enough now and peace is within me.

I am not lacking a house, a ministry, a job, friends or family- I am enough now.

Whether people are around me to cheer me on or if they are overseas.

Whether people accept or reject me, I am enough.

My mom thinks she hurt or enabled me by allowing me to live with her when I come back to LA, but that’s not the case.

Why can’t we just be okay with the unknown? Why do we always have to figure out the next thing? What’s wrong with not knowing, not wanting, but simply being.

What’s wrong with sitting still?

What’s wrong with being?

And what’s wrong with going somewhere and realizing that I don’t really want to be here, but it’s okay.

I don’t always have to get what I want. Because I am what I want. I have what I want, it’s Jesus. It’s peace. It’s being enough.

I didn’t really know where I was supposed to go this morning and heard several things but I felt Busan so I got on the train and met a girl who had super cool ripped jeans.

I doubted myself because I had a dream that I wanted to go home but I wondered if I was simply going home because it was an easy choice but even if it’s an easy choice, isn’t it okay just because I want to?

Your desires change.

It’s ok to not want the things you wanted before.

I wanted to ask my mother those questions above.

So you will love me if I fulfill your expectations? If that’s the case you’ll never be happy.

Your happiness should never depend on other people.

I don’t know what I want completely.

I got what I wanted recently, a new phone and laptop. It made me happy. And I feel grateful for these tools, but what else do I want?

A car, to drive freely wherever I want.

I want to be loved and appreciated by those around me.

I want new clothes. I want to say what I feel at all times. I want to live with no regrets.

To not be afraid to try. I want friendships, people I can do things with and express my emotions with.

I don’t need to see new places anymore, I’ve seen enough and I’ve ministered to enough people overseas. Sure I’m still doing it but I think I’d like some privacy. I’d like a dog and some pets. I’d like a life partner I can spend time with.

I want a husband who cooks and cleans, can love me and respect me. It’s time for me.

https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien

Give a donation- thank you!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Cash app- gugibabu

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

I just arrived in Korea and the first day I was feeling hesitant about where I was staying. I walked out of the accommodation as I wasn’t feeling peace at first and God told me to go back. My divine appointment was an Algerian. We had similar family background and growth stories. We talked about how “just because you’re born doesn’t mean you owe your parents” which I had no idea was also in Algerian culture. I was explaining grace to her but she said grace is something so difficult to wrap your mind around.

Just now I woke up with a super crazy leg cramp. I was casting out the spirit of infirmity in Jesus name and praying in tongues.

The truth is God has been doing a deep work in my heart and sometimes I’m freaking scared. I’m scared to be vulnerable but I know God means good to me….because only in vulnerability can you grow in intimacy.

I thought I’d be in LA but God sent me out again. I was happy to minister to the people in La, there did not seem to be a lack of people who needed a word from God or needed to hear about grace.

But now, I found myself filled…..

To the brim with anointing.

This time on the airplane God sat me next to a girl who studied abroad in America. I tried to move a few times but every time someone would come to sit where I changed seats to.

Upon sharing what I do i learned she was extremely nervous about an upcoming plastic surgery. She told me how they messed up 2 times and she had an infection. She told me how others care about relationships or career, but all she cares about is getting the nose she wants.

I said that I could understand and I started to share about the grace of Jesus that frees us and shows us we are enough. I prayed that whatever she decided on that God will protect her.

The grace of God shows you that He has already taken on every blemish on the cross and you’re no longer blemished- you are whole in God’s eyes because of Jesus’ sacrifice.

Please pray that the seed would be planted in peoples’ hearts as they listen.

Divine appointments

Sow-

https://www.gofundme.com/korea-grace-mission-trip

Give a donation- thank you!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Cash app- gugibabu

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: Dating Stories, Masturbation, Sex Talks – Everything Not Talked About At Church https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien/episodes/Dating-Stories–Masturbation–Sex-Talks—Everything-Not-Talked-About-At-Church-e5gjn8

Wooooo juicy podcast. Today I answer the question “is masturbating a sin?”

Everything you don’t talk about at church. But from a Non-judgmental grace filled Christian.

Enjoy my fun dating stories (set up by God)….this guy asked me, if I can’t ask a person who is actively having sex about it, who can I ask? You right? Since I’m trying to wait until marriage too…but haven’t had sex for 2 years. But it’s hard to wait.

So I talk about how God changed me through showing me my true identity.

Enjoy!

Give a donation- thank you!

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Cash app- gugibabu

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

Want to get coaching?

Prophetic word- Into The New – breaking off false responsibility and guilt.

There is false resistance trying to get your attention with what God wants for your life right now, false responsibility. Lately I felt like I “should” spend time with my mom but as soon as I obeyed and went on the Uber ride I realize there was a voice of obligation telling me to stay home. I had a super deep talk with the Uber driver who was also Christian and we prayed for each other.

The voice of obligation sounds like this-

1. Maybe I’ll miss out on something if I don’t spend time with ________.

2. I’m being a bad friend, daughter, mom, father, minister if I don’t do this __________.

3. I’m probably trying to escape responsibility and I “should” do this _____.

4. I’m being unloving if I don’t do this _____.

These are all voices of the spirit of condemnation and guilt. When you live from grace you do things out of desire not guilt.

One reason that I realized I was living in false guilt is I wanted to make a podcast and when I did I felt so happy, but when I went back into the house my mom has this look like “why are you neglecting me?”

I realize I was trying to cater to her needs and other peoples’ needs that I neglected my own desires and needs. I was so distracted from what I actually wanted to do.

Remember what people feel has nothing to do with you.

No one can make you feel a certain way unless you give them permission to do so.

Repeat out loud-

I am not responsible for ___________ (list the names).

I am responsible for my own happiness as I am worthy of happiness. God’s grace is more than enough for me.

I cannot blame anyone for not pursuing what it is I want to do!

Listen to my podcast

https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien

https://open.spotify.com/show/6lZZs3Cfd4mKFRBHTqd4Xc?si=qVihh_O8S6GGi7DbyTOQvQ

Give a love offering-

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Cash app- gugibabu

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

Want to get coaching?

Yayyyyyyy.

I’ve thought about having a real podcast for a long time, though I have episodes on SoundCloud.

First off- I’m no professional.

I used an iPhone to record this and I had no script for the episode. But I won’t apologize because I’m just glad I put something out there.

I also recorded this in the back of my mom’s car for silence. And if you’re wondering, I used anchor, which was super easy tool to use.

Please subscribe and follow!!!

Listen now- https://anchor.fm/rebekka-lien

Spotify- https://open.spotify.com/show/6lZZs3Cfd4mKFRBHTqd4Xc?si=hpW89wotQuadNcHLKu8Gfw

Thanks for listening 👂.

God bless you!

Here’s a tip – you learn from doing not from preparing. Just do it. Whatever you want to do. No one came out of the womb perfect.

Give a love offering-

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Cash app- gugibabu

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

Want to get coaching?

 

Videos every week to help you overcome the obstacles to living your dreams –

1. Overcome fear, rejection, judgment, lack by reclaiming your identity!

2. Rewire your spirit and brain for success

3. Empowering videos to change your life and break you free of fear and blockages

4. Actionable steps and worksheets to write down your vision and create a blueprint to your achieving and living your dreams

5. Prophetic word for each individual

6. Impartation of faith and anointing to step into your wildest dreams

Coaching videos will be posted on Facebook group. You will have unlimited access to it!

Register now!

This is an opportunity to connect with me and get the help you need to step out of fear and live the courageous life God has called you to.

Dreamers and pioneers- it’s time to come out of hiding!

Have you been wanting to start a blog? Have you been wanting to write a book? Have you been wanting to start a ministry or business? Have a dream to be in Hollywood? Want to go back to school?

Often it’s not the steps that scare us, but the fears or the possibility of failure or judgment.

My job is to help you name the lies and delete the hindrances! And set you free to soar!

Fears are spiritual blockages, they are strongholds that keep us in confinement but God wants to set you free. There are limiting beliefs that say you’re not good enough but we will confront the beliefs that hinder you from moving into your promised land.

I will speak about personal experiences and impart the breakthroughs that have set me free to set you free!

Register now.

Please email me if you have any questions, please include a note on the payment with your email and contact info.

I had a dream where I was following a guy to go eat but he was leading me to this dark shack and I decided to turn back as I didn’t feel safe. Later on I was flushing down a water bucket that had tiny cockroaches in it.

Then I asked this guy where I should wash my clothes and he gave me a key. He said laundry was free and he gave me the keys. But someone was yelling at me, my heart was alive for some reason. I was close to the guy I liked.

When I woke up I had a sense that my heart felt so full.

Living the life you want comes from a deep rooted belief that you are worthy.

When you don’t feel worthy of love, you sabotage any chance at happiness.

For example, you want to buy something you like but you don’t because you think it’s a waste of money.

You want to go to an event but instead of going you say “it’s too far”.

I realized before if I was with my mom and I wanted to buy something she’d say “no it cost too much” and I’d explain to myself “it’s okay you don’t need it”.

It’s not that we need to get everything we want to be happy- but when we do the act of self love to say “yes” to ourselves- we are saying to ourselves “I deserve to have what I want”.

When I was overseas, I had so much hardship I could barely buy a meal at times and I’d ask God why I had to be the one to find lost sheep and minister to people I’d probably never see. I was like Elijah, God would often pin point who I had to ask for a meal and it would be someone I needed to prophesy to.

The truth is God was building strength, courage, tenacity, boldness, love, patience, anointing in me.

But it was so hard I often felt that God was trying to deprive me of what I wanted.

Yet in this season God is flushing out the old season and saying “you’ve gone through it….now you’ll be strengthened in love, in desire”.

Every time I say yes to myself- go see the movie I actually want to see, eat what I want, do what I want, I’m closer to my heart.

I’m not going to deny you of your desires, say yes to yourself this season says the Lord because saying yes will lead you to the man/woman after your heart.

You will not meet your husband/wife being miserable. It’s usually when you don’t care to even meet them that you’ll meet him/her.

Follow the desires of your heart and don’t let anyone tell you you can’t or shouldn’t.

Maybe you want to exercise- that’s leading you to your life partner. Maybe you want to go to the beach, maybe your man is at the beach.

Don’t make finding your spouse a goal- enjoy your life and he/she will meet you at the intersection of heart and desire for he/she is after your heart. And is one of your desires.

God is bringing us back to our hearts- not what is logical.

Give a love offering-

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Cash app- gugibabu

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

Want to get coaching?

Setting boundaries is very important in life. When you don’t set boundaries you have codependent relationships. So I’m back In LA and it’s been a year and a half since I really lived with my mom.

I am so much more sensitive to control and fear than before. I used to hang out with my mom and start to feel weighed down or oppressed from her words of accusations, but now I have so much more discernment to walk away when it’s hurting my spirit.

I’m in a tight place right now where I know I’m transitioning into the next season and know God is aligning me with where I need to be.

Marriage is one thing God is preparing me for. Friendships is another He has been building in my life.

But the tight place of learning to love my mother but still protect my heart and spirit is vital.

Today we were spending time together and I started to feel weighed down. We wanted to do different things but she was accusing me a lot.

I told her to go home or do what she wanted as I wanted to be alone. I could feel the spirit of lack and control weigh down on me and started to pray in tongues. I try to tell her what God is saying but she thinks I’m crazy, she doesn’t believe it’s God speaking to me.

Sometimes in order to protect your heart you need to set boundaries with people who constantly thwart it. You need to learn to step away.

I headed back on a bus and felt lack so strongly I fell asleep and suddenly was jolted awake at my stop. Thank you Jesus for waking me up. I ran out the bus like whew!

Sometimes people try to control you out of fear. They feel like by controlling you they can control their own lives but it’s important to let them know that you cannot be controlled.

Don’t submit to other people, learn to wield your own power. Speak your mind and set boundaries.

Today I pray you will find your voice and speak up for yourself. I pray you find the power in God to set healthy boundaries.

It doesn’t mean you have to be isolated, it just means you can be in healthy relationships that don’t jeopardize your well being.

You need to learn to say “yes” to yourself. And sometimes no to others. You need to learn how to live your own happy life without needing peoples’ approval.

“I need to be alone right now”.

“I need space”.

Or “I want to spend time with you”.

Or “I don’t feel like talking right now”.

You have a right and agency to choose.

Some people are not safe to be around and it’s important to set even more boundaries with them. If it’s your own family, it’s important to voice your emotions to them and see if they’re willing to change to honor your heart.

I would have never moved back home if God didn’t ask me to.

I know I’ll be going places again. But for now I’m praying for the strength to stand firm and set boundaries when I need to.

Who do you need to set boundaries with in your life? If you’re interested in coaching, link is below. Cheers!

Jesus paid the price for our abundance, we are worthy of it.

Give-

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Cash app- gugibabu

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Become a monthly partner-

Www.rebekkalien.blogspot.com

Subscribe – http://www.rebekkalien.com

Want to get coaching?

Prophetic dream- Transition is coming to a close. I had a dream I rented a house that was in a building that was set for demolition. I was mad that the landlord didn’t tell me that the building was going to be destroyed. I said “but I already paid the rent until September 27. That means I won’t live here for that long. The landlord knew but didn’t tell me!”
I moved early in the month to another house and was trying to draw the curtains close. There were two straw curtains and I didn’t want it to be too bright. Someone kept knocking on the door and I was putting my pants on.