I had a dream where I was following a guy to go eat but he was leading me to this dark shack and I decided to turn back as I didn’t feel safe. Later on I was flushing down a water bucket that had tiny cockroaches in it.
Then I asked this guy where I should wash my clothes and he gave me a key. He said laundry was free and he gave me the keys. But someone was yelling at me, my heart was alive for some reason. I was close to the guy I liked.
When I woke up I had a sense that my heart felt so full.
Living the life you want comes from a deep rooted belief that you are worthy.
When you don’t feel worthy of love, you sabotage any chance at happiness.
For example, you want to buy something you like but you don’t because you think it’s a waste of money.
You want to go to an event but instead of going you say “it’s too far”.
I realized before if I was with my mom and I wanted to buy something she’d say “no it cost too much” and I’d explain to myself “it’s okay you don’t need it”.
It’s not that we need to get everything we want to be happy- but when we do the act of self love to say “yes” to ourselves- we are saying to ourselves “I deserve to have what I want”.
When I was overseas, I had so much hardship I could barely buy a meal at times and I’d ask God why I had to be the one to find lost sheep and minister to people I’d probably never see. I was like Elijah, God would often pin point who I had to ask for a meal and it would be someone I needed to prophesy to.
The truth is God was building strength, courage, tenacity, boldness, love, patience, anointing in me.
But it was so hard I often felt that God was trying to deprive me of what I wanted.
Yet in this season God is flushing out the old season and saying “you’ve gone through it….now you’ll be strengthened in love, in desire”.
Every time I say yes to myself- go see the movie I actually want to see, eat what I want, do what I want, I’m closer to my heart.
I’m not going to deny you of your desires, say yes to yourself this season says the Lord because saying yes will lead you to the man/woman after your heart.
You will not meet your husband/wife being miserable. It’s usually when you don’t care to even meet them that you’ll meet him/her.
Follow the desires of your heart and don’t let anyone tell you you can’t or shouldn’t.
Maybe you want to exercise- that’s leading you to your life partner. Maybe you want to go to the beach, maybe your man is at the beach.
Don’t make finding your spouse a goal- enjoy your life and he/she will meet you at the intersection of heart and desire for he/she is after your heart. And is one of your desires.
God is bringing us back to our hearts- not what is logical.
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